The Plan(ing)

You know what you want and are prepared to get it. I like that!

Like you and Matt, Roger and I were together for 10 years before we got engaged and we were able to (mostly) plan the wedding we wanted — it was an epic food and wine extravaganza! We planned our wedding in around six months — we got engaged in December and married the next July.

Save the Date

How’s your planning going? Have you set a date or season? Day of the week? My wedding was on a Friday evening. Are you open to considering a weekday wedding?

We definitely want our wedding to take place in 2023, in October — the spookiest month of the year — and are targeting dates near the end of the month. We are aiming for a Friday, Saturday or Sunday wedding, as we want to make attendance as convenient as possible for our friends and family members, particularly those who may be traveling a great distance or who can’t easily take time off from work.

That said, a wedding on the actual day of Halloween (Tuesday) has crossed our minds, as well as a Friday the 13th wedding, and luckily this year’s calendar offers that opportunity in October.

Money Matters

I mentioned that the average cost of a wedding for the past two years was $27,000. Have you set a budget for your wedding? Did you know that 49% of couples spend more than they budgeted?

We do have a budget in mind and it’s below the average. We intend to do everything we can to remain within — and, if possible, stay below — the limit we’ve set. Who is contributing to the cost? How will this affect your decisions?

Currently, Matt and I plan to fund our wedding. My parents may also contribute. We feel that we should have complete control over the aspects of our upcoming wedding, regardless of who contributes, as the day is meant to be a celebration of us and our love for one another.

Will you hire a wedding planner? What wedding vendors do you expect to hire to realize your vision?

I am our official planner, lol. For vendors, we’re considering hiring a photographer, DJ, caterer, makeup artist, hair stylist, and possibly a day-of coordinator/ decorator.

A Unique Location

I expect that you are looking for a unique, non-traditional venue. What venues are you considering?

We’ve considered a variety of non-traditional venues — from revamped churches and theaters to historic buildings and supposedly haunted dwellings, including a sanatorium. Unfortunately, the latter no longer hosts weddings.

Our wedding will likely take place in Ashland, Kentucky, which is Matt’s hometown and our first place of residence as a couple. We’re leaning pretty heavily toward a historic train depot in downtown Ashland that features exposed brick, wooden beams and tall, wood-framed windows — all elements that we think will complement the wedding aesthetic we desire.

The Scaremony

Scaremony… see what I did there? Since you’ve likely found your venue, what plans have you and Matt made for the ceremony and reception? 75- to 100-person weddings are the most popular. How many guests are you planning to invite?

We plan to invite around 100 guests, with the expectation that about 60-80% will show.

We did the same and almost 90% showed up! So, make sure to check the venue’s fire code capacity. How about an officiant… do you have one in mind?

Yes! We will ask a close mutual friend to officiate the wedding — and we’re hoping she’ll say yes to our proposal!

You already shared that you plan to have both parents walk you down the aisle. What are your plans for wedding attendants? Will your cat have a role in the wedding?

We plan to have three attendants each, which include best friends, mutual friends, and one of my family members. Unfortunately, our cat, Gus, will not be taking part in the wedding. Although he’s quite dog-like, he’s not as comfortable as a canine when it comes to large crowds and wide-open spaces. We’re hoping to work him into some of our wedding day photos; Photoshop is a wonder, after all. :)

Say Yes to the Black Dress

My short, simple, winery-wedding-appropriate dress cost less than $150, but today, the average wedding dress costs over $1,600. What are you thinking for a dress or other attire?

I want a non-traditional look. I’ve never pictured myself as the classic “bride in white.” I would describe my perfect wedding dress as long, elegant, formal and memorable. What I’m envisioning is a romantic, dark, flowing dress for the wedding ceremony, one that makes me feel as though I’ve stepped foot into a Gothic fairytale. The way the dress makes me feel is very important.

For the reception, which will have more of a Halloween party vibe, I’m thinking of transitioning into a dress or jumpsuit that plays into the costume I have in mind. Guests will also be encouraged to wear costumes.

Have you tried on any dresses?

Yes! I’ve tried on one dress — a black bridal dress with a long train and lace/ beading detail. It was a surreal moment — a good one; it made the upcoming experience of the wedding seem more real, more present, than its current form, which is merely an idea.

I found my shoes before my dress. Have you thought about your shoes?

No! In fact, I’m glad you brought it up. I’m not a shoe-focused person, but I definitely want a pair that I will reuse throughout the years — perhaps sparkles or satin will be involved. And as a lady of above-average height, I prefer a low heel, no more than 2 inches. To me, the most important aspect is — can I dance in these?

I personally feel that as a lady of above-average height, you should go big — as in 4-inch heels. I have some you could borrow!

Good Eats

Let’s talk food! Roger and I spent the bulk of our budget on food and wine because we really love good food and eating experiences. And, almost 60% of couples believe food and beverage is the most important consideration. Have you thought about a menu? Will you serve alcohol — maybe a toast with good Kentucky bourbon?

The event menu is definitely up there with our “most important elements of the day.” We’re combing through several options, regarding caterers/restaurants, and hope to settle on food offerings in the next few months. We’re leaning toward a

Southern-style or Italian-inspired menu.

Alcohol may or may not be served; at the moment, we’re reviewing our guest list to determine how many individuals would partake of this offering.

What about cake? Wedding cakes are becoming less and less popular. Do you want a wedding cake? The average cost of a slice of wedding cake is around $3.50 per person.

We are considering several dessert options: a small two-tiered wedding cake,

Continued on next page decadent cupcakes, and/or a combination of both — a small cake accompanied by matching cupcakes. Macaroons and chocolate-dipped strawberries may also be on the menu.

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Finishing Touches

Your dream wedding sounds one-of-akind and very true to you and Matt. How will you keep guests informed of your plans? Will you create a wedding website with all the details?

Yes, we plan to create a wedding website that offers the details of our day, as well as recommendations for accommodations, area attractions, local eateries, etc. I know The Knot and Zola are two online services that allow couples to make free wedding websites.

And, where can I purchase a wedding gift? Will you and Matt register for wedding gifts?

Yes, we plan to make wedding registries with Amazon and Esty, and perhaps a few other companies. We’re especially excited to create an Esty registry, as we both love good art and supporting independent artists.

And, as if planning a wedding isn’t enough, have you given any thought to a honeymoon?

Matt and I are considering these locations for our honeymoon: Paris, France; Hawaii; Ireland; New Zealand; Bali; Maldives; Bahamas. We may delay the honeymoon until spring 2024.

I recommend delaying — Roger and I delayed several months which gave us time to wrap up everything associated with the wedding. And, we went to St. Kitts. Of your locations, I’ve only been to Hawaii, so I cannot offer advice on any of the others.

Don’t compromise so much. While Roger and I mostly made the decisions, his parents contributed a hefty sum, so we felt it was important to give them some say. Unfortunately, Roger’s mother wanted to invite a lot of people and she pressured everyone to attend. I mentioned the fire code earlier… that was how we got her to stop adding guests to the list. Sadly, we had some friends we couldn’t invite because we were at capacity.

Also, we had a winery wedding and the wine was flowing pre-ceremony. This was not planned but it did make for a very chill ceremony!

What is your most memorable moment from your wedding day? And is that your happiest wedding memory, or is that a separate memory?

Like Jess and Matt, many couples are choosing the less conventional route when planning their wedding. Whether it be a non-white dress, unique vendors or creative themes, there are services in the High Country that can make your dream day a reality!

Vendors

Florals: @boozeandbouquets and @felicityfloraldesign

Live Artist + Card Box: @abbylynneartist

Custom Wedding Invitations: @susannaficklin

Cake and Sweets: @courtney_cakes_nc

Live Poet: @creating.cary

Make-up: @aestheticsbyhannah

Hair: @powerponystudios

Styling: @tyler.ashleyy, @garbagewltch and @claruth

Gowns: @juniperjamesbridal

Headpieces: @loyalblush

Coordination: @hmcoordination

Officiant: High Country Ministries

Mobile bar: @highspiritsavl

Jewelry: @semplicedesigns

Speaking of advice, what questions do you have for me? I mean, I’ve only had the one wedding myself, but I’m happy to share my expertise, lol. Yes, I have a few questions: For your wedding, was there one thing that you think you spent too much on or focused too heavily on? The wedding favors. Roger and I created CDs with featured songs from our wedding, which we thought was a fun and unique idea. Alas, we were left with a bunch of CDs that guests “forgot” to take home. I’d skip this unless you want to do something consumable.

Charcuterie Board: “Buffalo Boards” @buffaloandthebird

Coordination: @hmcoordination

Rentals: Mix Match Rentals

If you could talk to her face to face, what advice would you give your bride-to-be self, now that you’re on the other side?

My most memorable moment is a food memory! Roger and I chose not to have a wedding cake — instead, we had a dessert station with seasonal fresh fruit, gourmet chocolates, mini bread puddings and crème brûlée. One of my fondest memories is watching guests race each other to secure a crème brûlée as fresh batches came out of the kitchen.

I have a lot of happy memories of my wedding. But, if I had to choose one, it would be the surprise Star Wars-themed ceremony. Our officiant, Dave, is one of Roger’s longtime friends and we gave him complete control of the ceremony. Our only instructions were to say a few words, marry us and get everyone to the party. After discussing my love of Star Wars at lunch, he scrapped his original plan and prepared a ceremony comparing marriage to The Force – the energy field that binds the galaxy together. Dave kept us laughing and we got great pictures as a result.

Statistics from thebudgetsavybride.com and theknot.com.

HEATHER BRANDON

Heather considers life to be one big anthropological field experience. She observes and reports. She enjoys travel, food and wine and adventures with her husband, Roger.