How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

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How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective by Muhammad Vandestra 2018


Muhammad Vandestra

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How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

Copyright Š 2018 Muhammad Vandestra All rights reserved. 3


Muhammad Vandestra

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How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

Prolog The average human being in the developed world battles sadness, anger, stress, depression and worry on a daily basis. While the majority of the world’s population confront extreme poverty, famine, conflict and despair those of us privileged to lead relatively easy lives must tackle fear, stress, and anxiety. Why are those of us blessed with riches beyond compare immersed in loneliness and desperation? We are living in a time of confusion, we try as we might, yet gathering material possessions can do nothing to mend broken hearts, and shattered souls. Now, more than at any other time in human kind’s history, stress, anxiety, and psychological problems are taking a tremendous toll on the human condition. Religious beliefs should afford a sense of comfort however; it seems that 21st century man has lost the ability to connect to God. Pondering the meaning of life no longer overcomes a feeling of abandonment. This desire to acquire material possessions, which in some way validates our reason for being, has become the balm that soothes our troubled souls. Why is this so? We have the best of everything readily available, yet the reality is we have nothing. Nothing that comforts the soul. Beautiful furnishings do not hold our hand in the darkest night. The latest entertainment centre does not wipe our tears or soothe our furrowed brow. Those of us living with pain and grief, or afflicted with hardship feel abandoned. We feel rudderless on an open sea. Huge waves threaten to engulf us at any given moment. Our desires and debts stand at the apex and loom over us, like great avenging angels, and we search for comfort in addictions and self-destructive behaviour. How do we step away from the precipice? In Islam, the answer is remarkably simple. We turn back to our Creator. God knows what is best for His creation. He has complete knowledge of the human psyche. He knows of the pain, the despair, and the sadness. God is whom we are reaching for in the darkness. When we put God back on our agenda, the pain will subside.

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“Verily, in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest.� (Quran 13:28) Islam is not a religion filled with empty rituals and hypercritical rules and regulations, although it can seem so if we forget just what our real purpose in life is. We were created to worship God, nothing more and nothing less. However, God, in His infinite mercy and wisdom did not abandon us to this world filled with trials and tribulations. He armed us with weapons. These weapons are more powerful than the arsenals of the great 21st century armies. God gave us the Quran, and the authentic traditions of His Prophet Muhammad.

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How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

Chapter 1. Principles of Self Development in Islam Development carries the notion of enhancement of one’s capabilities and potentials. It implies a forward movement from a given position to a position of greater achievement, opportunity and benefit. In order to develop, individually or collectively, it is necessary to define the goals one wishes to achieve, factors that influence development, and the process of achieving the desired goals for development. Each human being is born with some basic faculties. How these faculties are molded depends on inherent capacities, nurturing environment and other external influences. Islam places a great deal of emphasis on ‘self-development’ where an individual takes the responsibility for understanding the purpose of human life, and for shaping that life in the best possible manner, for one’s own benefit and the benefit of the society at large; Islam also provides comprehensive guidance to achieve this goal. Human development consists of processes of growth and change that takes place from birth to the end of life. The development process is externally influenced from sensory inputs through the organs, and it is internally self-propelled from things which happen within the human body and mind. Our focus here is the development of the human mind, which takes place through sensory inputs and internal mental processes. This development includes learning through the senses and cognition that occurs when learning is abstracted into knowledge for subsequent use. Islam identifies two sources which play the roles of nurturing or corrupting human development. Inspiration from divine guidance nurtures human development. Not paying attention to divine guidance and succumbing to conspiracies, arising from within or externally from one’s environment, corrupts human development. Human development may be looked at from different perspectives, both as a basic human interest and as formalized disciplines of studies such as psychology, science, philosophy, sociology, anthropology, and so on. Contemporary studies on human development often engage in analysis and remedies when human 7


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development is impeded due to temperament, problems with identification or one’s identity, parenting, society, chance, and other factors. Here, we will focus primarily on basic principles of human development-aiming at covering the factors that may impede proper development. Keeping in mind that people have varying human capacities, what should be done in order to ensure that they all develop into the best possible capabilities for achieving the desired goals? While there are many factors that are essential for human development, we will first highlight those that may be more fundamental. The foremost factors playing a seminal role are those of being aware of self, being ever mindful of doing the right thing, and to avoid acting on mere impulses. How does one bring these factors into play? It is through a process called identification or ‘constructing an identity’ (i.e. finding principles that help develop the best possible human potential, and role models that vivify those principles). It may be viewed as an anchoring process which gives us a sense of belonging to something distinct and valuable. Rather than simply and haphazardly adopting the practices we notice around us, it may often be easier to look at a good role model and then simply emulate that person. However, finding good role models in our contemporary living environment may not be easy and at times confusing, particularly if these socalled role models are going through life changes themselves and the consequences of following their life style may only become known much later. Furthermore, one role model, no matter how good, may not be able to exemplify everything in life. Even if that were to be true, the principles that the role model exemplifies may not be obvious. Principles can only be derived through repeated observations and experimentation. History helps us here. We can look at several role models from history and we can look at lessons drawn from the history of civilizations. Coming back now to identification, the single most important factor in human development, we need to identify with some infallible source of guidance, the unquestionable principles for human development, and carefully select some role models. Most will accept God as the infallible source of guidance, the knowledge that God sent down to us on the good and bad in human civilization, and the Prophets who 8


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

acted as role models for achieving excellence in human potential. Being mindful of God, therefore, gives one an identification of what is best for developing human potential. It prevents alienation. One can always find solace in the presence of God; literally converse with God in prosperity and adversity, keeping one’s personality in harmonious balance, avoiding excesses on oneself or others in prosperity, and avoiding harm from stress in adversity. The other important factors that may emerge from this process of identification are being truthful and upright, and seeking individual and collective well being in our affairs. In order to achieve these goals, the quest for knowledge that exists and participation in deriving new knowledge from what exists are essential pre-requisites. Purification from Corruption We regularly wash our hands before touching food because our hands come in contact with so many objects that may collect harmful germs from others touching the same objects. We wash our clothes when they collect sweat and dirt from our own body and our surroundings. We bathe and shower to keep our bodies clean to ascertain that we are in good physical health. The same holds true for our minds, work must be done to ascertain that it remains in good health as well! So many things that we come in contact with can corrupt our minds. We may see a person drawing satisfaction from hitting and humiliating another. It leaves an impression on our minds and may later compel us do the same. We see people achieve success through lying and cheating, and our minds may perceive this as an acceptable behavior particularly if these cheaters and liars are being propagated as role models. A child may go through abuse from parents who are considered respectable in society and would be influenced to behave in that dysfunctional manner later on in life. Both eyesight and hearing are indispensable for human learning and development. They can propel us to unimagined heights of human excellence. However, we must learn to use them properly. Otherwise what we see and hear can influence us to regress and live a sub-human existence.

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How do we purify ourselves from the corrupting influences around us? We need to distinguish between what is desirable and what is undesirable in the light of certain guiding principles. We may call it the exercise of the mind, and similar to other forms of exercise, the exercise of the mind requires a well balanced approach. The process of purification of the mind is known in Islam as tazkiyyah. A pre-requisite of engaging in tazkiyyah is to know that the human mind is prone to becoming corrupted. The corruption may be attributed to acquired elements within oneself, or to external influences, or both. However, the responsibility for any undesirable behavior rests with the person who commits it and not the person or the environment that caused it. We all bear direct responsibility for our actions. The legal system will make us answerable if we break a law, and God will make us answerable if we defy divine guidance. One cannot use the excuse that the devil made me do it, or my boss made me do it, and so on. If we are caught speeding on a roadway, we cannot be absolved simply because others were speeding and did not get caught. God sees and hears everything. Just as the speeding regulations are meant to save us from hurting ourselves as well as others, the divine guidance is simply for our own benefit. The concept of answerability for one’s actions is called mas’uliyyah. Success in purification of the mind, soul, or psyche requires recognition that the world can pollute the mind, the soul can corrupt itself via instigation, and desires can conspire to overwhelm one’s mind, and drive us into capriciousness or eccentricity. Consider the following statement from the Quran: “Verily, the soul is inclined to evil.” (Quran 12:53) Everyone is born with a soul that is pure, free of corruption or impurity. The natural instinct or disposition of every human soul is to do what is right. As one grows, the harmful messages through the eyes, hearing, touch, smell and other senses affect the purity of the human soul. Therefore, every human experience must be scrutinized for its potential corrupting influences. Reforming these corrupting influences, within the human mind, is called the process of purification or tazkiyyah. The following statements in the Quran illuminate this concept: 10


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

“And [by] the soul and He who proportioned it. And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness. He has succeeded who purifies it. And he has failed who instills it [with corruption].” (Quran 91:7-10) “But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode.” (Quran 79:40-41) Despite the best efforts that one may make at purification of the mind, deviations are still possible. We may make mistakes or commit sins. What happens then? A properly trained human mind possesses what is called a self-reproaching soul (nafs-e-lawwama). It will react by an admission that something has gone wrong; it will accept the failing with humility, and it will engage the mind to reform itself accordingly. On the other hand, someone who has a headstrong soul (nafs-e-ammara) will view such admissions as undignified, and over time they will be more prone to greater deviations in future. A wrongful act if recognized with a thoughtful commitment to avoid repetition is an act of self-purification and proper human development. On the contrary, a reckless disregard of such actions leads to further corruption of the soul and selfdegeneration. System of Self Development Understanding these principles are generally within the reach of most people, but putting those principles into practice requires courage, and a systemic routine. Consider the following excerpt from a Tradition (hadith) of the Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, about one of the things that happened to him during his Night Journey. He said: “…Allah enjoined fifty prayers on my followers when I returned with this order of Allah, I passed by Moses who asked me, ‘What has Allah enjoined on your followers?’ I replied, ‘He has enjoined fifty prayers on them.’ Moses said, ‘Go back to your Lord (and appeal for reduction) for your followers will not be able to bear it.’ (So I went back to Allah and requested for 11


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reduction) and He reduced it to half. When I passed by Moses again and informed him about it, he said, ‘Go back to your Lord as your followers will not be able to bear it.’ So I returned to Allah and requested for further reduction and half of it was reduced. I again passed by Moses and he said to me: ‘Return to your Lord, for your followers will not be able to bear it. So I returned to Allah and He said, ‘These are five prayers and they are all (equal to) fifty (in reward) for My Word does not change’.” The prayer we offer to God is an act of His remembrance and the guidance that He has revealed for shaping our lives. We engage in this formal act of worship five times a day. What about the rest of the time? This requires us to reflect on the moral of the above saying of the Prophet. Perhaps an ideal number to stand formally before God would have been fifty times a day as the Prophet was informed first. But this would have been too much of a burden to carry for most human beings, as the Prophet Moses interjected, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him. While the formal number of times we pray is five, the rest of the period must be filled, to the best of our ability, in continuous remembrance of God and reflections on our actions in the light of that guidance. The beauty of Islam is that it is not a set of rituals that are performed in a certain method; it is more than that! Islam is a way of life; all that we do in it should be done to please Allah alone. So mundane actions such as eating, drinking, exercise and sleep take on a spiritual dimension and are rewarded by God! We need to be mindful of Allah at all times, regardless of the time and place, and to take heed of His guidance in all our affairs. We need to be thoughtful, rather than impulsive, before we speak, and before we act. We need to reflect on what we may have uttered and done. The process of purification of the mind in Islam is dubbed as the most difficult form of human struggle. It must be pursued with vigor, patience and perseverance, with belief in what God has revealed, and actions that manifest that belief at all times, in adversity as well as prosperity. Many of us were told during our childhood to maintain a diary and to record in it the various things that happened during the day. The 12


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

wisdom of that advice lies less in creating a legacy and more in reflecting, as we normally would do when we record things, and to sort out things that may be desirable from those that may be undesirable. There is a need to regularly recall imprints made on our mind by what we may see, hear, feel, and do, and re-establish our connection to what is desirable. This way we can avoid impulsive behavior based on what we may encounter in our environment. It is impossible to sort out things as we encounter them, particularly when they occur in rapid succession, or in theatrics that spellbound us momentarily. We must take the time to re-examine those things in slow motion and without the momentary influences and background noises. We all need moments of quiet reflection and solitude, trying to make sense out of our affairs in the light of divine guidance. One may ask as whether there are some special words that one can utter for engaging in remembrance of God and reflecting on our thoughts and actions. While there are no bounds on what one can say and utter, here are some examples of what one can say: ...There is no true god (deity) but Allah, and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. (La e’laha il’la Allah Muhammad Rasool Allah) This simple expression provides the pinnacle for human development. Reminding ourselves that there is no true deity but God provides the best possible framework for human development since what God (Allah) tells us to do is for our own good, and there is no need for us to succumb to any power contrary to what God tells us. Another statement one can say is: ...All praise be to Allah (Al-hamdu-lillah) La ilaha illa Allah guides us to do the right things. Whatever good comes to us is from Allah. La ilaha illa Allah is the anchor for doing the right thing, and Al-hamdu-lillah (all praise be to God) is a recognition, with all humility, that we are grateful for God’s numerous blessings upon us. These expressions should serve as reminders for us to purify our minds and souls to please God alone. 13


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Examples of other expressions for remembrance of God for selfdevelopment are: ‘How Perfect is God’ (Subhanallah) and ‘God is the Greatest’ (Allah Akbar). Conclusions finally, here is an assurance of the rewards promised to us by God in this world and Hereafter: “He has certainly succeeded who purifies himself. And mentions the name of his Lord and prays.” (Quran 87:14-15)

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How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

Chapter 2. How to Deal with Sadness & Worry In Islam The average human being in the developed world battles sadness and worry on a daily basis. While the majority of the world’s population confront extreme poverty, famine, conflict and despair those of us privileged to lead relatively easy lives must tackle fear, stress, and anxiety. Why are those of us blessed with riches beyond compare immersed in loneliness and desperation? We are living in a time of confusion, we try as we might, yet gathering material possessions can do nothing to mend broken hearts, and shattered souls. Now, more than at any other time in human kind’s history, stress, anxiety, and psychological problems are taking a tremendous toll on the human condition. Religious beliefs should afford a sense of comfort however; it seems that 21st century man has lost the ability to connect to God. Pondering the meaning of life no longer overcomes a feeling of abandonment. This desire to acquire material possessions, which in some way validates our reason for being, has become the balm that soothes our troubled souls. Why is this so? We have the best of everything readily available, yet the reality is we have nothing. Nothing that comforts the soul. Beautiful furnishings do not hold our hand in the darkest night. The latest entertainment centre does not wipe our tears or soothe our furrowed brow. Those of us living with pain and grief, or afflicted with hardship feel abandoned. We feel rudderless on an open sea. Huge waves threaten to engulf us at any given moment. Our desires and debts stand at the apex and loom over us, like great avenging angels, and we search for comfort in addictions and self-destructive behaviour. How do we step away from the precipice? In Islam, the answer is remarkably simple. We turn back to our Creator. God knows what is best for His creation. He has complete knowledge of the human psyche. He knows of the pain, the despair, and the sadness. God is whom we are reaching for in the darkness. When we put God back on our agenda, the pain will subside.

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“Verily, in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest.” (Quran 13:28) Islam is not a religion filled with empty rituals and hypercritical rules and regulations, although it can seem so if we forget just what our real purpose in life is. We were created to worship God, nothing more and nothing less. However, God, in His infinite mercy and wisdom did not abandon us to this world filled with trials and tribulations. He armed us with weapons. These weapons are more powerful than the arsenals of the great 21st century armies. God gave us the Quran, and the authentic traditions of His Prophet Muhammad. The Quran is a book of guidance and the traditions of Prophet Muhammad explain that guidance. The religion of Islam is all about making and keeping a connection with God. This is how Islam deals with sadness and worry. When the wave is about to come crashing down or the world begins to spin out of control God is the one stable factor. The biggest mistake a believer can make is to separate the religious and material aspects of his or her life. “God has promised those who believe (in the Oneness of God) and do deeds of righteousness, that for them there is forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise).” (Quran 5:9) When we accept with full submission, that we are no more than slaves of God, put on this earth, to be tried, tested and tempted, life suddenly takes on a completely new meaning. We recognize that God is the one constant in our lives and we recognize that His promise is true. When we are overwhelmed by worry and sadness, relief comes from turning to God. If we live our lives according to His guidance, we gain the means and the ability to overcome any despair. Prophet Muhammad declared that all the affairs of a believer are good. Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer! They are all for his benefit. If he is granted ease then he is thankful, and this is good for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres, and this is good for him. 16


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

Islam has the answer to all the problems that afflict humankind. It asks us to look beyond the need for self-gratification, and further still, beyond the need to acquire possessions. Islam reminds us that this life is but a transient pause on the way to life everlasting. The life of this world is but a fleeting moment, sometimes overflowing with moments of great joy and happiness but at other times filled with sadness, sorrow, and despair. This is the nature of life, and this is the human condition. In the following three articles, we will examine guidance from the Quran and the authentic traditions of Prophet Muhammad in an endeavor to discover just how Islam suggests that we deal with sadness and worry. There are three key points that will allow the believer to free himself from the shackles of 21st century life. They are patience, gratitude, and trust in God. In the Arabic language, sabr, shukr and tawwakul. “And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to the patient ones.” (Quran 2:155) “Therefore, remember Me (God) and I will remember you, and be grateful to Me (for My countless Favours on you) and never be ungrateful to Me.” (Quran 2:152) “If God helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, who is there after Him that can help you? And in God (Alone) let believers put their trust.” (Quran 3:160) The Patience Sadness and worry are part of the human condition. Life is a series of moments. At the two extremes are joyful moments that make our hearts sing with gladness and dark moments that plunge us into sadness and worry. In between is real life; the highs, the lows, the mundane and boring, the sweetness, and light. It is in these times that the believer must try to establish a connection to God. The believer must forge a bond that is unbreakable. When the joy of life fills our hearts and minds we must not forget that it is a blessing 17


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from God and equally when we are faced with sadness and worry we must realize that this too is from God, even though at first glance we may not see the blessing. God is the Most Wise and the Most Just. Whatever condition we find ourselves in, and no matter what we are forced to confront, it is imperative that we open our eyes to the fact that God knows what is good for us. Though we shy away from facing our fears and worries, it may be that we hate a thing that is good for us and desire something that can only lead to ruin and damnation. “...and it may be that you dislike a thing that is good for you and that you like a thing that is bad for you. God knows but you do not know.” (Quran 2:216) The life of this world was designed by our Creator to maximize our chances of living a blissful life in the Hereafter. When we face trials, they help us grow and mature into human beings who are able to function effortlessly in this transient world. God has not abandoned us in face of the temptations and trials we face in this world, He has equipped us with potent weapons. Three of the most important are patience, gratefulness, and trust. The great Islamic scholar of the 14th century CE, Ibnul Qayyim said that our happiness in this life and our salvation in the Hereafter depend on patience. “Verily! I have rewarded them this Day for their patience; they are indeed the ones that are successful.” (Quran 23:111) “...to be firm or patient in pain or suffering, and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God fearing.” (Quran 2:177) The Arabic word for patience is sabr and it comes from a root word meaning to stop, detain, or refrain. Ibnul Qayyim explained that having patience meant having the ability to stop ourselves from despairing, to refrain from complaining, and to control ourselves in times of sadness and worry. Prophet Muhammad’s son in law Ali ibn Abu Talib defined patience as “seeking God’s help”. 18


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

Whenever we are beset by sadness and worry our first reaction should always be turning to God. By recognizing His Greatness and Omnipotence, we begin to understand that God alone can ease our troubled souls. God Himself advised us to call on Him. “And (all) the Most Beautiful Names belong to Allah, so call on Him by them, and leave the company of those who belie or deny (or utter impious speech against) His Names.” (Quran 7:180) Prophet Muhammad encouraged us to call on God by all of His most beautiful names. In his own supplications, he is known to have said, “Oh God, I ask you by every name that You have named yourself, or that You have revealed in Your book, or that You have taught any of Your creation, or that You have kept hidden in the unseen knowledge with Yourself.” In times of sorrow and stress, contemplating the names of God can bring great relief. It can also help us focus on being calm and patient. It is important to understand that although the believer is encouraged not to thrash about in grief and anguish or to complain about the stresses and problems, he is allowed to turn to God and supplicate to Him and to ask Him for relief. Human beings are frail. Our tears fall, our hearts break and the pain is sometimes almost unbearable. Even the prophets, whose connection to God was unbreakable, felt their hearts constrict in fear or pain. They too turned their faces to God and begged for relief. However, their complaints were surrounded with pure patience and pure acceptance of whatever fate God had decreed. When Prophet Jacob despaired of ever seeing his sons Joseph or Benjamin he turned to God, and the Quran tells us that he beseeched God for relief. Prophet Jacob knew that there was no point in raging against the world, he knew that God loves and protects those who are patient. “He said: ‘I only complain of my grief and sorrow to God, and I know from God that which you know not.’” (Quran 12:86)

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Quran also tells us that Prophet Job turned to God begging of His mercy. He was impoverished, stricken with disease, and he lost his family, friends, and livelihood yet he bore all this with patience and forbearance and he turned to God. “And (remember) Job, when he cried to his Lord, ‘Verily, distress has seized me, and You are the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy.’ So We answered his call, and We removed the distress that was on him, and We restored his family to him (that he had lost), and the like thereof along with them, as a mercy from Ourselves and a Reminder for all who worship Us (God).” (Quran 21: 83-84) Patience means accepting what is beyond our control. In times of stress and anxiety, being able to surrender to the will of God is a relief beyond measure. This does not mean that we sit back and let life pass by. No! It means that we strive to please God in all aspects of our life, in our work and play, in our family life and in our personal endeavors. However, when things don’t go the way we planned or the way we wanted, even when it seems that fears and worries are pushing us under, we accept what God has decreed and continue to strive to please Him. Being patient is hard work; it does not always come naturally or easily. Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, said, “Whoever tries to be patient then God will help him to be patient”. It becomes easy for us to exercise patience when we realize that it is impossible to count all the blessings God has bestowed upon us. The air we breathe, the sunshine on our faces, the wind through our hair, the rain on the parched earth and the glorious Quran, God’s words to us are all among the innumerable blessings of God upon us. Remembering God and contemplating His greatness is the key to patience, and patience is a key to Paradise everlasting, God’s greatest blessing for the fragile creatures called humankind.

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How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

The Gratitude As fragile human beings, we are often swamped by fears and anxiety. At times sadness and worry threaten to take over our lives. These emotions can become so consuming that we forget our primary purpose in life, which is to worship God. When pleasing God is at the centre of all our thoughts, actions and deeds, then sadness and worry can have no place in our lives. In the previous article, we discussed about dealing with sadness and worry by striving to be patient. We also talked about counting the blessings God has bestowed upon us as a way of encouraging patience. Another way of overcoming sadness and worry is by being grateful to God for His countless blessings. God explains in the Quran, that true worshippers are those who are grateful and give thanks. “Therefore, remember Me (by praying, glorifying, etc.). I will remember you, and be grateful to Me (for My countless Favors on you) and never be ungrateful to Me.� (Quran 2:152) There are many ways to express gratitude. The first and foremost way is to worship God in the manner that He has prescribed. The Five Pillars of Islam were ordained upon us by God and they guide us to worship Him easily. When we fulfill our obligations towards God, just how truly blessed we are becomes obvious. When we bear witness that, there is no god worthy of worship but Allah and that Muhammad is His final messenger we are being grateful for being blessed with Islam. When a believer prostrates before God in quiet, joyful prayer, we are expressing gratitude. During the fast of Ramadan, we become thankful for food and water by realizing that God provides our sustenance. If a believer is able to make the pilgrimage to the House of God in Mecca, it is indeed a cause for thankfulness. The Hajj journey can be long, difficult, and expensive. The believer also expresses gratitude by giving charity. Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, advised his followers to give charity everyday to express gratitude to 21


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God for every single joint or faculty in his body. Imam Ibn Rajab, a noted Islamic scholar of the 7th Islamic century said, "Human beings are obligated to give thanks to God every single day for His blessings on them by performing acts of virtue and charity on a daily basis” If we remember God by reading the Quran and contemplating its meanings, we gain a greater understanding of the life of this world and the hereafter. Consequently, we begin to understand the transient nature of this life and the fact that even the trials and tribulations are blessings from God. God’s wisdom and justice is inherent in even the direst situations. How often have we heard people with debilitating diseases or terrible disabilities thank God for their conditions, or speak about pain and suffering bringing blessings and goodness into their lives? How often have we listened to others speak about horrific experiences and ordeals, yet continue to thank God? In times of sadness and worry, when we are feeling alone and distressed, God is our only refuge. When sadness and worry become unbearable, when there is nothing left but, stress, fear, anxiety, and misery, we instinctively turn to God. We know His words are true, we know His promise is true! “..if you are grateful, I will add more favors unto you.” (Quran 14:7) God knows the wisdom behind why good things happen to bad people, or why bad things happen to good people. In general, whatever causes us to turn to God is good and we should be grateful for it. In times of crisis, people are drawn closer to God, whereas in times of comfort we often forget from where the comfort originated. God is the Provider and He is the Most Generous. God wants to reward us with life everlasting and if pain and suffering can guarantee Paradise, then trials and tribulations are a blessing. Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, said, “If God wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials.” 22


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

Prophet Muhammad also said, “No misfortune or disease befalls a Muslim, no worry or grief or harm or distress – not even a thorn that pricks him – but God will expiate for some of his sins because of that.” We are imperfect human beings. We can read these words, we can even understand the sentiment behind them, but acknowledging the wisdom behind every situation and being grateful for our trials is very difficult. It is much easier to fall into sadness and worry. However, God, the Most Merciful, gives us clear guidelines and promises two things, if we worship Him and follow His guidance we will be rewarded with Paradise and that with hardship comes ease. “So verily, with hardship, there is ease.” (Quran 94:5) This verse is part of a chapter of the Quran revealed when difficulties in Prophet Muhammad’s mission were weighing him down and causing him distress. The words of God comforted and reassured him just as they comfort us today. God reminds us that with hardship comes ease. Hardship is never absolute; it is always accompanied by ease. For that, we should be grateful. For that, we need to express our gratitude. We must accept the trials, triumphs, and tribulations that are part of being alive. Each one of them, from the highest highs to the lowest lows is a blessing from God. A blessing designed uniquely for each individual person. When we are overcome by sadness or worry we must turn to God, strive to be patient and grateful and put our trust in God. For God is the most trustworthy. By trusting Him, we can overcome any moment of anxiety and conquer any sadness or worry that tries to creep into our lives. The Trust As we move into the new century, those of us privileged to live above the poverty line are faced with a unique set of challenges. We have food enough to eat, shelter from the elements and most of us can even afford life’s little luxuries. Physically we have all that we need, but spiritually and emotionally, we are bereft. Our minds are filled with sadness and worry. Stress and anxiety mount. As we

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gather possessions, we wonder why we are not happy. As we embark on yet another holiday we feel alone and desperate. A life that is far removed from God is a sad life indeed. No matter how much money we accumulate, or how grand our house is, if God is not the centre of our lives then happiness will elude us forever. True happiness can only be found when we at least attempt to fulfil our purpose in life. Human beings exist to worship God. God wants us to be happy, in this life and in the Hereafter and He has given us the key to real happiness. It is not a secret or a mystery. It is not an enigma or a puzzle, it is Islam. “And I (God) created not the jinn and humankind except that they should worship Me.” (Quran 51:56) The religion of Islam explains clearly our purpose in life and gives us guidelines to follow to make our search for happiness easier. The Quran and the authentic traditions of Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, are our guide books for a life completely devoid of sadness and worry. This however does not mean that we will not be tried and tested because God states very clearly in Quran that He will test us. Our lives will be filled with situations that require us to reach out for God and depend upon Him. God promises us that He will reward those who are patient, He asks us to be grateful to Him, and He tells us that He loves those who put their trust in Him. “...put your trust in God, certainly, God loves those who put their trust in Him.” (Quran 3:159) “The believers are only those who, when God is mentioned, feel a fear in their hearts and when His Verses (this Quran) are recited unto them, they increase their Faith; and they put their trust in their Lord Alone.” (Quran 8:2) Life is filled with triumphs and tribulations. Sometimes it is a roller coaster ride. One day our faith is high and sweet, the next it has plummeted and we feel sad and worried. The way to even out our journey is to trust that God knows what is best for us. Even when seemingly bad things happen, there is a purpose and wisdom behind 24


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

them. Sometimes the purpose is known only to God, sometimes it is obvious. Consequently, when we realise that there is no power or strength except from God, we can begin to relax. Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, once reminded one of his young companions that God was all-powerful and nothing happens without His permission. "Young man, uphold the commands of God, and He will protect you in this life and in the next. Uphold the commands of God and He will help you. When you ask for anything, ask it from God, and if you seek help, seek help from God. Know that if people were to unite to do you some benefit, they could benefit you only what God has recorded for you, and if they were to unite to do you some harm, they could harm you only with what God has recorded for you. The pens are withdrawn and the pages are dry.” When we are mindful of the fact that God has control over all things and that He ultimately wants us to live forever in Paradise, we can begin to leave our sadness and worry behind. God loves us, and wants what is best for us. God has given us clear guidance and He is the Most Merciful, and the Most Forgiving. If things do not go according to our plan, if we do not see the benefits of the challenges we face in life it can become very difficult not to despair and fall prey to stress and anxiety. At this point, we must learn to trust God. “If God helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, who is there after Him that can help you? And in God (Alone) let believers put their trust.” (Quran 3:160) “Say: "He is my Lord! None has the right to be worshipped but He! In Him is my trust, and to Him will be my return with repentance.” (Quran 13:30) “And we shall certainly bear with patience all the hurt..., and in God (Alone) let those who trust, put their trust.” (Quran 14:12) As believers, our trust in God must be constant, in all situations, good, bad, easy, or difficult. Whatever happens in this world 25


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happens by the permission of God. He provides sustenance and He is able to withdraw it. He is the master of life and death. God determines whether we are rich or poor and whether we are healthy or ill. We thank God for granting us the ability to strive and to go out and acquire that which is good for us. Whatever our circumstances may be we need to thank and praise God for them. If need be we must bear our difficulties with patience and above all we must love and trust God. When life becomes dark and difficult we must love God more; when we are overcome by sadness and worry we must trust God more.

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How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

Chapter 3. Anger Management In Islam Although anger is a natural feeling it can have negative effects on those who allow it to control them, and adverse effects on those around them. Anger can destroy relationships, health, property, and livelihood. Uncontrolled anger is one of the tools of Satan and it can lead to many evils and tragedies. For this reason Islam has a great deal to say about the emotion of anger. Because anger is often associated with ‘fight or flight responses’, it is often difficult to separate an action that is done in self-defence (or to protect properties or families) from one that is done out of uncontrolled rage. It is ok to feel anger but it is not acceptable when a person allows it to overtake him and drive him to act in an unacceptable way, sometimes even leading to murder and mayhem. The story of an event in the life of one of Prophet Muhammad’s companions, his son-in-law Ali, demonstrates the difference. Ali ibn Abi Talib was once fighting in a war, when the leader of the non-Muslim army attacked him. During the confrontation, Ali managed to overcome him and was on the verge of killing him, when his opponent spat in Ali’s face. Ali immediately stepped back and left the man alone. The man said, “You could have killed me, why did you stop? Ali answered, “I have no personal animosity toward you. I was fighting you because of your disbelief in and rebellion against God. If I had killed you after you spat in my face, it would have been because of my personal anger and desire for revenge, which I do not wish to take.” The Prophet once asked his Companions, “Whom among you do you consider a strong man?” They replied, “The one who can defeat soand-so in a wrestling contest.” He said, “That is not so; a strong man is the one who can control himself when he is angry”. As always if a person is unsure about how to act in any situation he need only look to Prophet Muhammad or our righteous predecessors to find the best way to act. Prophet Muhammad was known as a man who could and would even under dire circumstances control his anger. One day the Prophet was attacked by a Bedouin, who seized 27


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him roughly by the edge of his cloak, the marks left on his neck could be seen by his companions. The Bedouin demanded Prophet Muhammad give him some of the wealth. The Prophet (who had every right to be angry) turned to him and smiled, then ordered that he (the Bedouin) should be given something agreeable to him. We can also follow the example of the Prophet by making our anger for the sake of God, when His rights are violated. This is the kind of controlled anger which is praiseworthy. Prophet Muhammad became angry when he was told about the imam who was putting people off the prayer by making it too long, when he saw a curtain with pictures of animate creatures, and when he was asked questions that he disliked. However his anger was purely for the sake of God, he did not fly off the handle, rant and rave, or make people fear to be in his presence. When Prophet Mohammad became angry due to someone’s incorrect actions or their words, he never expressed it with his hand and used only mild words. In fact those that did not know him well did not even suspect that he was angry. His companions however, knew that he was angry by just looking at him; his face would turn red and his forehead would be beaded with sweat. However rather than expressing his anger openly he would be quiet, using those first moments to control himself. Controlling anger is a sign of righteousness. A righteous person is promised Paradise and one of the characteristics of righteousness is being able to control anger. “And march forth in the way (which leads to) forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as the heavens and the earth, prepared for the pious. Those who spend (in God’s Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon the people; verily, God loves the good-doers.” (Quran 3:133-134) “So whatever you have been given is but (a passing) enjoyment for this worldly life, but that which is with God (Paradise) is better and more lasting for those who believe and put their trust in their Lord.

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And those who avoid the greater sins, and illegal sexual intercourse, and when they are angry, they forgive.” (Quran 42:36 & 37) Anger is a very natural human emotion; it is also very powerful and can vary in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. The latter can be destructive. It can rage through a person, creating a desire for revenge and pushing a person to strike out at the object of his anger. Because it is natural it is impossible for a person to avoid it completely. It is however possible to understand anger and thus control it. When a person becomes angry, whether as a result of provocation or not, he has the choice to control his anger by responding to it in a way sanctioned by the Quran and the traditions of Prophet Muhammad or he could give in to the wave of emotion and behave in a way that displeases God but delights Satan. In the era when it appears that Islam is being denigrated all over the globe many Muslims are letting their anger get the better of them. Yes it hurts to have our religion and our beloved prophet abused and vilified, but as believers we should not let our emotions dictate our actions. Actions are to be based on divine knowledge and wisdom. We cannot completely stop those who tarnish Islam with their lies and deception but we can control ourselves, educate the masses, and take other positive steps legislated by Islam. Anger is able to destroy lives and relationships and Prophet Muhammad called it a hot coal on the heart of a descendant of Adam. There is no fool proof way to completely eliminate anger because it is a natural human emotion. Islam however gives us many examples of how to control anger and how to channel it into acceptable actions. There are also distinct advantages to following the guidelines set out in Islam. It pleases God, and the person controlling their anger is rewarded. The Prophet said, “If anyone suppresses anger when he is in a position to give vent to it, God, the exalted, will call him on the Day of Resurrection and ask him to choose from the rewards offered.”He also said, “No one has swallowed back anything more excellent in the sight of God, who is Great and Glorious, than anger, seeking to please God.” 29


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Once a man came to Prophet Mohammad and said, “Messenger of God, teach me some words which I can live by. Do not make them too much for me, in case I forget.” He said, “Do not be angry.” Further to that in the traditions of the Prophet we are able to find many instances of how to behave when anger threatens to engulf us or burst out. He said, “If one of you becomes angry while standing he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down”. The Prophet also advised us that performing ablution was an acceptable method of anger management. He said, “Anger comes from Satan, Satan was created from fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when any of you is angry, he should perform ablution”. In addition the Prophet Muhammad suggested that when angry a believer could try other methods to rid himself from the influence of Satan. He once advised a man who was angry and fighting, to seek refuge in God from the influence of Satan. Prophet Muhammad said to his companions, “I know words that if he were to say them his anger would go away, if he said, “I seek refuge with Allah from Satan,” what he feels would go away.” Imam Ahmad recorded that Prophet Muhammad also advised that “If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent.” If a person is trying to be silent, it will obviously restrict his ability to fight or utter obscenities and harsh words. In another tradition Prophet Muhammad offered a sequence of actions to defuse anger. “If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down.” Thus we find that Islam offers a person several ways to control the very natural emotion of anger. To begin with a person should change his position. For example, if one is standing he should sit down; if he is already sitting he should lie down. An angry person could make ablution and offer two or more extra units of prayer; or he could seek refuge in God from the angry effects Satan has over him and finally he could try to focus on the rewards God offers those who are patient, merciful and inclined to forgive rather than hold a grudge. 30


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

The Quran defines righteous people as, “Those who spend (in God’s Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon the people; verily, God loves the good-doers.” (Quran 3:134). Prophet Muhammad himself demonstrated enormous restraint and patience when he was insulted, belittled and beaten. As his beloved wife Aisha said, ‘His character was just (a reflection of) the Quran’. At a very difficult time in his life Prophet Muhammad went to the city of Taif hoping to find people who would listen to, and support, his message to humanity. Instead of support he found men women and children who insulted and chased him out of town. With his sandals covered in blood and his heart full of sadness, he prayed to God for help. In response, the Angel of the Mountains was sent down and he asked for the Prophet’s permission to cause the mountains surrounding Taif to crumble, killing all of the city’s inhabitants. Despite his pain and suffering something he had every right to be angry about, the Prophet’s reply was, “No, for I hope that Allah will bring forth from their progeny people who will worship God Alone, and none besides Him.” Anger management in Islam can be summed up as follows. • • • • •

Seek refuge in God, from the ploys of Satan. Make ablution, because water extinguishes fire. Change positions, if you are standing, sit, if you are sitting, lie down. A person lying down cannot engage in fisticuffs or destroy property. Remove yourself from the situation. This could be likened to our modern equivalent, time out. Be silent, words spoken in anger cannot be taken back.

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How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

Chapter 4. Anger, Smiling and Mindfulness in Islam & Neuroscience The Smile What is in a smile? A Muslim would answer that question by saying that it is an act of charity and a tradition from the ways of Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him. It is well known that Prophet Muhammad said, "To smile in the face of your brother is charity given on your behalf." He was also remembered as a man who, except in the direst of circumstances, always had a smile on his face. The late scholar Sheikh Ibn Baaz, who died in 1999 said, "A smiling face indicates a good quality and causes blessed results – it indicates that one’s heart is free of rancor and it causes affection to grow between people." Thus we see that throughout Islamic history smiling has been considered a very good habit for a Muslim to acquire. Emulating Prophet Muhammad is one of a Muslim’s greatest desires. Prophet Muhammad also knew that following the directives of God always led to something inherently good for humankind. The time progressed and as the 20th century turned into the 21st century we discovered that smiling did a lot more than add to our bank of good deeds, it improved our health and our happiness. Smiling lowers the heart rate and temporarily reduces blood pressure. It releases endorphins, and they in turn, lessen pain. Smiling also strengthens community bonds. Smiles have numerous psychological and communal effects; smiling can open up a social connection or greeting someone with a smile can reduce interpersonal conflict. Smiling can soften embarrassing situations, and it can enhance first impressions. Who does not like to meet someone with a smile on their face? Human beings were designed by God to be ultra-social creatures that need viable relationships with other people in order to survive and thrive. Islam abounds with advice on how to maintain these relationships, be they with family, neighbors or wider community. Smiling is one device that helps us make and maintain these crucial social relationships. 33


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People who smile receive more help. And we all know that helping behavior enhances community relationships and builds stronger relationships. The answer to why people receive more help when smiling could be manyfold. Do we naturally respond in a friendlier manner to someone who is smiling? Could it be reciprocal selflessness, you gave me a smile, so I will give you the help you need. Does the happy mood created by smiling enhance our inclination to help others? Helping behavior is a hallmark of Islamic manners and morals, and accordingly, Islam places great emphasis on helping those in need. Research tells us that helping a neighbor, volunteering, or donating goods and services results in a "helper’s high," that benefits a person’s health more than exercise or quitting smoking. Smiling starts a chain reaction that results in people engaging in behavior akin to following the commandments of God. He does expect us to be good people and has equipped us with the ability to smile; this, in turn, enhances and encourages good behavior. "Worship God and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, the poor, the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet) and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, God does not like those who are proud and boastful." (Quran 4:36) As we stride into the new century, our technological and scientific knowledge is advancing beyond anything we thought possible even 50 years ago. We are beginning to understand the brain and its marvellous properties and functionality. In light of this new area of exploration, acts like smiling take on a new dimension. The benefits of following the traditions and ways of Prophet Muhammad become even more compelling and fascinating. Scientists now face another conundrum, what came first, the emotion or the smile. New research suggests that smiling may not only be a result of happiness, it may also cause it. Put simply, when our brain feels happy, signals are transmitted to the facial muscles to trigger a smile. Those muscles fire a signal back to the brain stimulating the 34


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

reward system and increasing our level of happiness. When our brain feels happy we smile and when we smile our brain feels even happier. Dr. Robert Zajonc, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, says that research into the cause and effect of this smile - happiness loop has a physiological explanation. When certain facial muscles relax and tighten, they raise or lower the temperature of blood flowing to the brain. These temperature changes affect the part of the brain that regulates emotion. Research suggests that a cooler brain creates good emotions, while a warmer brain produces negative emotions Something even more fascinating is that you can still get the same benefits from smiling even if your grin is not genuine. Several studies have shown that just the physical action of smiling can begin the process even if the emotion is not there to begin with. Sarah Pressman of the University of California and her colleagues found that people who smiled while getting a needle reported up to 40 percent less pain than people who did not smile. Interestingly the participants in this study did not smile naturally but were tricked into smiling by positioning chopsticks in their mouths to create the illusion of a smile. So far we have discovered that smiling is not only a charitable act that earns the smiler rewards in the Hereafter, rather it also has several rewards in this life - for the one who smiles, the one who receives the smile and for the community in general. Smiling is contagious. A Swedish study confirmed that it is difficult to keep a long face when you look at people who are smiling at you. The brain is hardwired for sociability, and when we interact with others, a neural bridge is created between brains. Neurons have a synchronizing function, and they can then activate the same region of your brain that has been activated in the brain of the person you’re interacting with. These mirror neurons will activate when you see someone else smiling. The traditions of Prophet Muhammad, examined in light of 21st century thinking reveals that even things such as blood temperature 35


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and neural bridges link humankind’s inherent behavior with the commandments of God. We have learned that the act of smiling lowers the temperature of blood flowing to the brain and it begs the question of what happens when the temperature is heightened. Does the act of frowning, and the bad moods such as anger associated with it, increase the temperature of the blood flowing to the brain? The Anger It has long been understood that the Quran and the authentic traditions of Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, often have scientific explanations. These facts become even more apparent and fascinating when we look at some of the traditions we practice in the light of the latest psychological and physiological findings of the 21st century. In part 1 we looked at the science behind smiling and found that a tradition we practice with ease actually has numerous benefits ranging from how it makes a person feel, to contributing to a cohesive well-bonded community. In this article, we will examine the traditions related to controlling anger. In one of his most well-known traditions, Prophet Muhammad said, "Whom among you do you consider a strong man?" They replied, "The one who can defeat so-and-so in a wrestling contest." He said, "That is not so; a strong man is the one who can control himself when he is angry." We learned in part 1 that the muscles we use to smile lower the temperature of the blood flowing to the brain. Research tends to suggest that the opposite is also true. The muscles used for frowning, an expression associated with anger and other such negative emotions, causes the temperature of the blood flowing to the brain to rise. A warmer brain produces more negative emotions. In the past 20 years or so, hundreds of studies have shown that hot temperatures are a powerful and reliable cause of bad moods and interpersonal conflict (especially aggression and violence). It was Dr. Zajonc who suggested that we have a certain amount of control over these emotions simply by the way we act. When we smile something happens, when we frown something different happens. 36


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

When a person becomes angry, the further emotions or feelings that follow, are a response to the physical changes in your body. The heart rate increases, so too does the blood pressure, and the face flushes as the blood flow increases. The muscles tense in preparation for physical action and there is often an overwhelming desire to move forward towards the source of your anger. This is a primal survival instinct, and it all happens in an area of the brain known as the amygdala. It is also where the famous flight or fight reflex is found. Now there is a time and a place to harness this anger which we will discuss later, but for the most part, scientific evidence tells us that controlling anger is a very good thing to do. According to a 2009 study in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology, angry people were more likely to develop coronary heart disease. Other older studies suggest that angry people show signs of accelerated decline in lung function that in turn speeds up the natural aging process. Frequent anger is bad for mental health too; a 2012 study by Concordia University found that anger hindered treatment and worsened the condition of patients with anxiety disorders. When someone is angry the body is preparing for survival, therefore it safeguards itself against injury and bleeding. An angry person’s body releases chemicals to coagulate (clot) the blood, creating a situation that’s potentially dangerous. When there is no physical injury, the clot can travel through the blood vessels to the brain or heart. The fight or flight reflex is useful in extreme and dangerous situations however in today’s environment most of us are not faced with life or death situations. Therefore the healthiest way to deal with anger is to learn how to control it. The traditions of Prophet Muhammad deal quite extensively with how to do this and not surprisingly they reinforce and confirm physiological and psychological studies. First and foremost, suppressing and controlling anger is pleasing to God. Prophet Muhammad said, "If anyone suppresses anger when he is in a position to give vent to it, God will call him on the Day of Resurrection and ask him to choose from the rewards offered."

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In addition to this Prophet Muhammad told us to extinguish anger as you would fire, with water. He said, "Anger comes from Satan, Satan was created from fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when any of you is angry, he should perform ablution." The water splashed on the face, over the hair, and on the ears will have a direct effect on the temperature of the blood flowing to the brain. Studies do indeed confirm that a lower temperature will extinguish the fire of blood pumping through your veins and around the brain which is the physiological source of the feelings associated with anger. Other advice about anger from the traditions of Prophet Muhammad adheres closely to the psychological advice given to those who suffer from anger management issues and anxiety disorders. Sufferers are told to count to ten before taking action or to remove themselves from the source of their anger. They are also told to change their environment, slow down, focus on their breathing and splash cold water on their faces. Imam Ahmad recorded similar advice from Prophet Muhammad. He said, "If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." If a person is trying to be silent, it will obviously restrict his ability to fight or utter obscenities and harsh words. Prophet Muhammad also offered a sequence of actions to defuse anger. "If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down." He once advised a man who was angry and fighting, to say, "I seek refuge with God from Satan," this, Prophet Muhammad said, would make his anger go away. Just as Prophet Muhammad advised, 21st century studies and research confirm that it is more beneficial to learn to control your anger than to express it via some non-destructive method such as using a punching bag. That, however, requires training and discipline. Prophet Muhammad emphasized discipline and selfcontrol. Interestingly, the 21st century concept of mindfulness rather than meditation helps us become more aware and accepting of emotional signals that in turn help us to control our behavior. 38


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

The Mindfulness Contrary to what many people believe mindfulness is not meditation. It is a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment. In the previous two articles, we discussed the latest findings on two of the traditions that Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, recommended to his followers; smiling and controlling anger. In this article, in light of the research on mindfulness, we are going to discuss Islam’s version of mindfulness – khushoo, particularly khushoo in respect to the daily prayers. Khushoo means concentration and humility in worship (particularly prayers) while wholeheartedly fighting away any distractions. To attain khushoo a person must be able to forget the world and be in the moment. One must be totally mindful that they are standing before God and engaged in worship of Him. If one is able to do this, they are then able to pray wholeheartedly and reap the rewards for doing so. They are also able to acquire traits that will hold them in good stead in their worldly lives. Google says that mindfulness is a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment. Other dictionaries define it as the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences. Mindfulness is both the current buzz word and a hot topic in western psychology. It is recognized as an effective way to reduce stress, enhance emotional intelligence and undermine destructive cognitive and behavioral processes. Imagine if we could pray every prayer with a heightened awareness of what we are doing. In this day and age, it is easy to rush and be distracted by worldly affairs, the traffic, the milk you need to buy, the shirts you need to iron. We also know that each and every one of us is distracted by the tricks of Satan, the whisperings known as waswas. Having khushoo or being mindful has been scientifically proven to be a crucial step for disentangling our minds from those ruminative thoughts. 39


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The word waswas comes from the Arabic word for delusion and means thoughts of doubt, apprehension or hesitation. It also covers the distractions that come to mind while a person is trying to concentrate on prayer, or trying to be mindful of the importance of the moment. Islamic scholars stress the importance of not giving into waswas and not letting it determine the quality of your prayer. Prophet Muhammad said that whoever made ablution well and then prayed two units of prayer focusing on them completely without thinking of anything else will be forgiven all his previous sins, as long as they were not major sins. Being mindful, being able to focus on the moment is a skill worth developing. There are numerous advantages attached to mindfulness both in this world and in preparation for the next. Various studies in the past several years have concluded that mindfulness has numerous health benefits including increased immune function, positive cognitive effects, and the reduction of psychological stress. In Islam, rewards are given according to the proportion of khushoo. Prophet Muhammad said that a person might pray but have nothing recorded of it except a tenth, or ninth or eighth and so forth. His companion Ibn Abbas explained that meant a person will only have from his prayer that part on which he kept his focus. In a 2007 study at the University of Toronto new ground was broken in our understanding of mindfulness from a neuroscience perspective. Scientists discovered that people have two distinct ways of interacting with the world using two different sets of networks. One is called the default network and it is involved with planning, daydreaming, and ruminating. This network doesn’t take much effort to operate. It is active most of the time. You take in information, interpret through a filter of everyday experiences and add your own interpretation. Through this network a cool breeze isn’t just a joyful experience; it is a sign that the weekend is nearly over, it reminds you of work tomorrow and taking the kids to school and packing lunches. It is the network that Satan takes advantage of, whispering this and that, 40


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

and distracting you from worship. There is however a whole different network, one of direct experience. When this direct experience network is activated, you are experiencing information coming into your senses in real time. Experiencing the world through the direct experience network allows you to get closer to the reality of any event. People who practice mindfulness are able to notice the difference between the two networks and switch from one to the other. Thus practicing mindfulness means to bring awareness to the activities that you usually do on auto pilot. Many of us have been guilty of praying without a single thought about God or the prayer itself entering our heads. We recite the words and perform the actions and then congratulate ourselves for praying in the correct time frame. Mindfulness helps us to refocus our attention to the present moment; to feel the action of raising our hands to begin the prayer and think about the moment we leave the world behind. Muslims are able to begin each day on a high note by practicing mindfulness with the first prayer of the day. They are able to think about getting out of bed to thank God for another day, to follow that with an ablution in which they think about the washing away of sins and finally to pray with khushoo. This is the type of khushoo the companions of Prophet Muhammad struggled to have in their every prayer and every act of worship. Mindfulness or khushoo helps us to experience the prayer with all of our senses. There is evidence to suggest that mindfulness can eventually become an effortless trait. If we try to be in the moment rather than trying to empty our minds of useless thoughts, we might find a way to experience the blissful nature of prayer. It may become our comfort as it was the comfort of Prophet Muhammad. He said to his companion; make the call to prayer so that we might be comforted by praying. If we acquire the ability to have khushoo in all our prayers, we will have the ability to be mindful throughout our daily lives and thus be able to worship God in all that we do. When we examine khushoo, the state of mind all Muslims are required to strive for when worshipping God, we find that Muslims have been 41


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practicing mindfulness for a very long time. It is part of the structure of a daily life spent in the service of God. The wonderful scientific discoveries in the last two decades demonstrate to us that the Quran and the traditions of Prophet Muhammad are guides detailing how to live a worthwhile and content life even in the face of 21st century chaos.

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Chapter 5. How to Deal with Grief & Suffering In Islam War. Famine. Suffering. Not a day goes by that the evening news does not report horrific stories of humanity in despair, and of worldwide misery. On a more personal level, many of us have been stricken with grief and depression in our day to day lives. A loved one passes away. A financial downturn. A cheating spouse. Why then does God allow bad things to happen to good people? This is a question that people of many religious faiths have struggled with for hundreds of years. It is one of the greatest stumbling blocks to faith and has led countless people to disbelieve in God altogether. Theists have tried to reconcile God and evil in a number of ways. Some pagans claimed that God hates evil, but He is powerless to prevent it. This idea, however, is rejected in the Quran, because it questions God’s status as The Almighty (Al-Azeez), The AllPowerful (Al-Jabbaar), The All-Strong (Al-Qawiyy), and The All Capable (Al-Qadeeir). Others have claimed that perhaps God is capable of removing evil, but He does not know when or where evil will happen. This idea relegates God to a fireman who only comes to the scene of a fire after half the building has burned down. Yet, this too is an unacceptable claim, for God’s Names in the Quran include The All-Knowing (Al-Aalim), The All-Seeing (Al-Baseer), The All-Hearing (Al-Samee'), and The Constant Owner and Controller of Everything (Al-Maleek). In fact, it would be considered blasphemous to question God’s Power: if God wanted to remove all evil on this earth, then nothing could prevent Him from that. Polytheistic religions further another hypothesis: God is good, but there are other evil gods who frustrate His goodness and spread corruption on this earth. God is therefore locked in a struggle with these other deities. Perhaps Satan is a counter-god with whom God must constantly battle with. Yet this idea—of multiple gods—is categorically rejected in the Quran, which calls God as The One (AlWahid), The One and Only (Al-Ahad), The First (Al-Awwal), and 43


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The Last (Al-Akhir). The Quran stresses that there are no gods besides God; for example, the Quran says: “Your God is but one God; there is no god other than Him!” (Quran 2:163) With over a thousand verses to this effect, it would be impossible to believe in multiple deities; rather, there is one and only one supreme God. The ancient Gnostics had such a troubling time reconciling the evil of this world with God that they concluded that God Himself must be evil. People who further this claim argue that God cannot possibly be All-Powerful and All-Loving at the same time. If God is capable of removing evil and does not do it, He must therefore be evil. Yet, this idea is unconditionally rejected in the Quran, which declares that God is The Most Loving (Al-Wadood), The Most Kind (Al-Barr), and The Most Generous (Al-Kareem). The Quran also refers to God as The Most Merciful (Al-Raheem), The Most Beneficent (Al-Rahmaan), The Most Forgiving (Al-Ghaffaar), The Lord of Infinite Grace (Dhul Fadl al-Adtheem), and the Ultimate Source of Peace and Safety (Al-Salaam). Therefore, the Quran affirms that God is both All-Powerful and Most Loving; so how can these two qualities be reconciled, given the fact that the world is full of evil? The Islamic perspective is that God causes “bad” things to happen in order to achieve a greater good. God afflicts His servants with suffering in order to mold them into the type of people He wants them to be. Through suffering, humans can develop qualities that last forever: steadfastness and patience in the face of great adversity, as well as great humility and meekness. Most importantly, suffering causes people to turn towards God for help; it establishes and differentiates the true believers from the false ones. Suffering Causes People to Remember God Human beings tend to forget God when they are prosperous and only remember Him when afflicted with suffering. The Quran gives the example of a ship: when the ship is smooth sailing, then the 44


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

occupants do not remember God, but when the wind threatens to capsize the ship, suddenly the occupants of the ship begin praying sincerely to God. The Quran says: “Your Lord is He that makes the ship go smoothly through the sea for you that you may seek of His Grace, for He is Most Merciful to you. When distress seizes you at sea, you cry to nobody save Him (God), but when He brings you back safely to the land, you turn away (from Him). Most ungrateful is man!” (Quran 17:66-67) This example can be applied to our day-to-day lives. A person may forget God when his financial situation is good, but if he were laid off from work, then suddenly he’d be invoking God for help. When Prophet Muhammad declared God’s Message, it was the poor and the slaves who made up the bulk of his followers. The rich and prosperous leaders of Mecca, on the other hand, continued to live a life removed from God. It is well-known that rich people—such as actors, singers, and other celebrities—live the most ungodly of lives. Meanwhile, the meek and needy cling to God more. This means that suffering is not necessarily a bad thing, and prosperity is not necessarily a good thing. God says in the Quran: “But it may happen that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that you love a thing which is bad for you. And God knows and you do not know!” (Quran 2:216) This is all a part of human psychology: we forget God in good times, and we remember Him during times of distress. So God afflicts us with trials and tribulations so that we may turn to Him and seek His Grace. How many countless people have turned to God and were guided to Islam after having been afflicted with suffering upon suffering? An example that comes to mind is of a well-meaning politician who intends to do good, but once he comes to power, the system corrupts him. Soon, he starts giving and taking bribes; he begins to live the ungodly life of a rich politician, wasteful and extravagant. Then suddenly, God causes him to be arrested; the man loses all of his wealth, his wife leaves him, and he rots away in jail. Finally, after having pondered over his gains and losses, the man turns to God. So bad things happened to this man in order that a 45


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greater good could occur. When he was prosperous, he was heading towards Hell, but when God afflicted him with distress, the man changed his course; the temporary suffering of jail is indeed a small price to pay for the Eternal Bliss in Paradise. In conclusion, we see that God causes bad things to happen to good people, in order that a greater good come to them in the long run. The Suffering Another good that comes out of suffering is that the soul is purified through it. Prophet Muhammad declared: “By the One in Whose Hand is my soul (i.e. God), no believer is stricken with fatigue, exhaustion, worry, or grief, but God will forgive him for some of his sins thereby—even a thorn which pricks him.” (Musnad Ahmad) Some people describe a feeling of heartburn when they grieve. On a physical level, that may just be gastro-esophageal reflux disease brought on by stress and anxiety, but on a symbolic level, it represents the spiritual heart burning away sins like a powerful furnace. When a believer is struck with suffering, then God expiates some of that person’s sins as a mercy. As a consequence, that person will not be punished for those sins in the Hereafter and thereby will be pushed towards Paradise. Perhaps a skeptic may wonder why God does not merely forgive His servants without afflicting them with suffering on this earth or in the Hereafter. The response to this is that God does in fact forgive any and all sins, so long as His servant comes to Him penitent and seeking His Grace and Forgiveness. Such a man that comes to God seeking forgiveness, God will forgive him without any penalty punishment, nor any retribution whatsoever. God will wipe away his sins as if they never occurred. According to Prophet Muhammad, whoever turns to God asking for penitence will be forgiven “even if they (his sins) are (numerous) like the flecks of foam upon the ocean, as numerous as all the grains of sand, as heavy as the mountains, and as many as the drops of rain and the leaves on all the trees.” 46


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God forgives those who seek His Forgiveness, and this is because He loves those believers who humble themselves before Him, those who seek penitence from Him, and those whose hearts cry because they disobeyed Him. The Quran says: “Truly, God loves those who repent.” (Quran 2:222) But what of the one who sins and never seeks God’s Forgiveness? What about the one who continues to sin without any plans to stop? God does not let all sins go unpunished because this would lead people to become negligent and wicked. The enforcement of punishment on these sinners is for their own benefit, just as a father’s enforcement of punishment on his son is for the child’s own benefit. For example, a six year old boy sticks his fingers in an electric socket. His father, fearful that the boy may electrocute himself, punishes him for that. A parent threatens to punish his child only as a benefit for the child, even though the recalcitrant child might be too immature to realize that the punishment stems from his father’s love and concern. If the child puts his fingers into the electric socket, it will be he himself—not his father—who will be electrocuted. Likewise, if we sin, we do this to our own detriment, and the Glory of God is unaffected. The worldly punishment therefore is a means, not the ends; the goal of the punishment is not to punish, but rather to serve as a strong deterrent. If a father is too lenient with his son and does not say anything when the child puts his fingers in the socket, then the boy will not realize the gravity of what he is doing. He will then keep sticking his finger in the socket until one day he will get electrocuted and die. Likewise, if God does not send affliction down upon His servants, they might not ever realize the error in their ungodly ways until they reach spiritual death. For example, the philandering husband may never realize that his indiscretions will one day lead to the breakdown of his family unit, the compulsive gambler might not realize that his addiction will lead to bankruptcy, and the alcoholic might not realize that his drinking will lead to a life of misery and emptiness. So God sends down upon these people punishments, in

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order not only to expiate them of their sins, but also to alert and awaken them to their detrimental ways. Imagine the child who knows that his parents won’t do anything if he is caught doing drugs. This would be parental negligence, and it would lead to the child harming himself without any fear of repercussions. Therefore, a responsible parent will establish certain guidelines so that the child knows that if he takes drugs, then he will be grounded. This causes the child to stay away from drugs for fear of being punished. Similarly, the creation of Hellfire—though it is a punishment—is also a mercy to mankind; through the threat of it, God creates much good. Hell-Fire is a punishment that God threatens upon His servants, so that they may fear God and thereby obey Him; such people will then become spiritual, righteous, and rightly guided. This will not benefit God, but rather it will only benefit themselves. God has no need for them, but they have a need for God in their lives. But God gives His servants many chances and warnings before He condemns them to Hellfire. An analogy of this is of a police officer, who catches a speeding motorist. The first time she (the motorist) is caught speeding, the police officer gives her a warning. The second time, the police officer fines her $50. The third time, he gives her a hefty fine of $300. The fourth time, she receives community service hours, and the next time her license will be suspended, etc. Again, the police officer does not stop the woman for his own good; rather, it is for the motorist’s own good, so that she does not get into a traffic accident and harm herself. This is like God’s methodology: He afflicts people with minor punishments in this worldly life, so that they might realize the error in their ways. In other words, God allows bad things to happen to good people so as to punish them for their sins; this punishment serves as a warning in order that they may correct themselves in this lifetime and thereby avoid punishment in the Hereafter. Surely a motorist would rather be fined $50 as opposed to being locked up in jail. Likewise, a believer would rather be punished in this lifetime as opposed to being thrown into HellFire in the next life.

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What this means is that when a believer is struck with some sort of calamity, he should take comfort in the fact that his sins are being forgiven by God. He should know that God will compensate him for every woe and grievance, and God is Most Just! Prophet Muhammad told us that God will compensate His servants for even the minor hurt that comes from a thorn which pricks the skin. A believer who is going through a difficult time should never be ungrateful to God, nor should he question God’s justice, because God will compensate everyone in the next life. This is God’s Promise to humanity. A believer who is aggrieved by trials and tribulations should take heart in the fact that he is one of God’s chosen ones, whom God loves enough not to punish in Hell but rather whom He wishes to purify in this life. The Test Another reason why God sends down trials and afflictions to people is so that they may be tested. The Quran declares: “Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, ‘We believe’, and that they will not be put to the test?” (Quran 29:2) This concept can be clearly understood if we take the analogy of marriage. A man might love and be loyal to his wife during good times, but when things become difficult, he might abandon her. For example, if she is young and beautiful, he will adore her; but if she gets cancer and thereby loses her physical beauty, the same man might abandon her. This shows that in reality he did not really love her. Similarly, a man should love God and obey Him in not only good times, but also trying times. Hypocrites might call to God’s Way when the weather is good, but as soon as the storm brews, they abandon their faith in God. For example, during the time of Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, there were many hypocrites who converted to Islam when it was beneficial for them to do so. In doing so, they were able to secure powerful positions in the Islamic government. But as soon as the going got rough, they began showing disbelief, even after they had claimed to believe; when a 49


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powerful enemy threatened to destroy the fledgling Islamic citystate, the hypocrites abandoned their faith. The enemies of Islam persecuted the early Muslims, torturing them, boycotting them, and even killing them. This really differentiated the true believers from the false ones; the true believers would stay true to God, even in the time of great adversity. Therefore, God tests the people, to differentiate the true believers from the hypocrites. God says: “Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, ‘We believe’, and that they will not be put to the test? And certainly We tested those before them, so that God will differentiate those who are true from those who are false.” (Quran 29:2-3) This idea is repeated in numerous verses in the Quran, such as: “God will not leave the believers in the state in which you are now, until He shall separate the wicked from the good.” (Quran 3:179) God’s Messenger promised his followers that by becoming Muslim, they would attain success. When the powerful enemy almost overwhelmed the Muslim defenders, the hypocrites began to question the promise of the Messenger of God; they even began to question the All-Powerful nature of God. The Quran says: “Behold! They (the enemy soldiers) came on you from above you and from below you, and behold, the eyes (of the hypocrites) grew terrified and the hearts rose up to the throats, and you began to think unbefitting thoughts concerning God…And behold! The hypocrites and those in whose hearts is a disease began to say: ‘God and His Messenger promised us (victory) only to deceive.’” (Quran 33:10-12) The calamity made the hypocrites expose their disbelief, whereas it only made the true believers even more absolute in their faith. The Quran says of them: “When the believers saw the Confederate forces…it only added to their faith and their zeal in obedience.” (Quran 33:22) Therefore, God puts people to the test, to differentiate between the true from the false. Indeed, how can the worth of an object be 50


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ascertained unless it is put to the test? An automobile maker will test its cars to see how fast they can go and to see what type of crash they can withstand. Likewise, God puts His creations to the test, to see how faithful they will be, and to see if they will remain so when He causes them to crash. Will they fold up like a beat up lemon? Or will they be like the high-end car that can withstand much? God says: “And We shall certainly test you, until We know those of you who strive their utmost (for God) and who are the steadfast; and We shall test your reported mettle.” (Quran 47:31) Adversity and afflictions are actually a heavenly mercy, because they give the believers a chance to earn good deeds, by being patient and loyal to God. By passing the test that God puts them through, these believers open up the way for entrance into Paradise (i.e. Heaven). God says: “Or do you expect to enter Paradise without facing such trials as did those before you?” (Quran 2:214) And so people are tested with various trials and afflictions; poverty, hunger, fear, etc. are all various forms of God’s test. Even the loss of loved ones is one such trial. When the ungrateful one loses a loved one, he becomes bitter against God, challenging God as to why He caused his loved one to die. But the grateful believer will remain patient and submit his will totally to God, and in this way, God differentiates the true from the false. God says: “We will surely test you with something of fear and huger, and the loss of wealth and lives and the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, who say when afflicted with calamity“ To God We belong, and to Him we shall return!” They are on those whom descend blessings from their Lord, and Mercy. Such are the rightly guided.” (Quran 2:155-157) It is not necessary that calamity is the only way God tests us. God’s testing may also be in the form of blessings, wealth, health, children, family, and the like. What the people do with such blessings is indeed a great test. Many celebrities and rich people are given great 51


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wealth, fame, and material goods, but they are not grateful to God for that, and instead live their lives in sin and wickedness. God says: “And know that your (worldly) possessions and your children are but a test, and that it is with God with Whom lies your highest reward.” (Quran 8:28) Therefore, we see that God tests the people through both adversity as well as blessing; but regardless of the type of test, the believers are those who remain grateful to God. The Quran declares: “You shall certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your lives; and you shall certainly hear much that will grieve you…But if you patiently persevere and be pious, then surely this will be of great resolution.” (Quran 3:186) In conclusion, when calamity befalls a believer, he should know that in it is much good, even if it is not apparent at first. Through affliction are sins expiated and souls purified; through trials are the steadfast tried by God, and only the resolute will be successful. It is upon these that God will bestow goodness in due time, either in this life or the life after death. God says: “And none shall be granted such goodness, except those who are steadfast.” (Quran 41:35) The Righteous When calamity strikes us, we should take pride in the fact that we are similar to the righteous servants of God, of whom were the Prophets; all of them were put through trials and tests. Prophet Abraham and his son, peace be upon them, were both tested in a most severe way. God commanded Prophet Abraham to sacrifice his son, Ismail. This command no doubt would have been very difficult for Prophet Abraham, and he no doubt would have been very saddened by the thought of losing his loved one. But Prophet Abraham patiently persevered and obeyed God. Not only this, but even Ismail, remained steadfast and obedient and offered himself to be sacrificed.

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This test that God put Prophet Abraham through was to test his determination. If Prophet Abraham or his son had been weak in faith, they would have both failed this severe test God rewarded them with a great reward on account of their strong faith and obedience to Him; right before Prophet Abraham struck his son, a ram appeared and God told him to sacrifice it instead. As a reward, God promised to establish them as leaders on earth. God says of Prophet Abraham and his son: “So when they had both submitted their wills (to God), and he (Abraham) had laid him (his son) down on his forehead (for sacrifice), We called out unto him, saying: “O Abraham! You have indeed fulfilled the vision.” Thus, indeed do we reward the doers of good. Most surely, this was a clear test.” (Quran 37:103-106) The Quran says: “And remember that Abraham was tested by his Lord with certain commands, which he fulfilled. He (God) said: ‘I will make you a leader to the nations.’” (Quran 2:124) No doubt when Prophet Abraham was instructed to sacrifice his son, he might have been reluctant in that regard, but he did it out of obedience to God Almighty. This goes to say that even if one may dislike something there may be good in it. God says: “And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. God knows and you do not know.” (Quran 2:216) Another example that comes to mind is that of Prophet Joseph, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him. The Quran mentions many details of the trials and tribulations he faced in his life. His father loved him a great deal, which made his brothers very jealous of him. They conspired against him, and finally dumped him in a deep well. A company of travelers passed by the well, and one of them let down his bucket. He said, "Good news! Here is a boy." And they took him as merchandise. With this, Prophet Joseph was sent to the far off land of Egypt as a slave. An Egyptian governor bought him, and Prophet Joseph dutifully toiled away. As he was in the 53


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service of the governor, the test intensified, the governor’s wife, who was very beautiful, tried to seduce Joseph. This was a great trial for Prophet Joseph, and he resisted her advances with steadfast perseverance. One day, the governor’s wife ran after Prophet Joseph, so to seduce him by force, and she tore his shirt, whereupon her husband entered the room. She accused Prophet Joseph of rape but Joseph denied it, and when the governor saw his shirt torn from the back, he asked his wife to repent to God Almighty. She schemed and came up with a plot to have Prophet Joseph; she gave him one of two choices, to either approach her or to be thrown in prison. He chose the second and was put in prison for a period of time. When we are struck with calamities, we should think of all the trials Prophet Joseph went through: years of slavery and imprisonment. Yet, through it all, Prophet Joseph remained steadfast to God. He never resented the calamities that had befallen him, but instead used the time to invoke his Lord. It was then—finally, after many years—that God rewarded Prophet Joseph for his steadfastness. It was in that same jail cell that he met a man who had a dream; God gave Prophet Joseph the gift of being able to interpret dreams. And so Prophet Joseph interpreted his cellmate’s dream, telling him that he (the cellmate) would go free and work for the king. Indeed, the prophecy came true and the man did go free to work for the king. One day, the king had a dream. The story is narrated in the Quran: “And the king of Egypt said: ‘Verily, I saw in a dream seven fat cows, whom seven lean cows were devouring, and seven green ears of corn and seven others dry. O notables! Explain to me my dream if it be that you can interpret dreams.’” (Quran 12:43) Prophet Joseph’s ex-cellmate, who was now in the service of the Egyptian king, immediately remembered Joseph. He informed the king about Prophet Joseph, and so Joseph was asked to interpret the dream, which he did. Prophet Joseph told the king that there would be seven years of good harvest, after which would follow seven years of drought and famine. He advised the king to store up food during the seven years of prosperity, which could be used during the times of drought and famine. 54


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The king was so pleased by Prophet Joseph that he not only set him free but appointed him to a very high position in the government. And so God established a great deal of good through adversity; had Prophet Joseph never been abandoned in the well by his brothers, nor sold into slavery, nor imprisoned wrongfully, he would never have been found by the king and appointed to a position of such great authority. Indeed, Prophet Joseph had to go through all that tribulation in order to attain that rank. Therefore, when we go through difficult times in life, we should be positive. It may be that God is propelling us to a greater good which may be unknown to us at that moment. Prophet Solomon was also tested, although in a different way. He was given immense wealth and power; history attests to the fact that wealth and power corrupts. Yet, Prophet Solomon was one of the few kings who remained pious and God-fearing. The Quran says: “And certainly we tested Solomon…and he (Solomon) turned (to God).” (Quran 38:34) Indeed, all of God’s prophets were tested; this shows that God bestows trials upon His righteous servants, and we should feel proud to be in their company. We should also emulate their behavior, which was to remain steadfast in times of tribulation. Dealing with The Grief All of what has been stated in this article is extremely interesting, but it all boils down to the following question: how should we deal with grief when a calamity strikes? Every person on earth will face some grief in his life, and some more than others. People deal with grief in different ways, but how should a believer deal with it? The first thing that a believer should realize is that the calamity is from God. The Quran declares: “All things (good and bad) are from God.” (Quran 4:78) Once we realize that it is from God, we should realize that God is the Most Loving (Al-Wadud) and the Most Kind (Al-Barr). Therefore, 55


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there is some good in whatever God has decreed for us, even if we do not immediately see what it is. God Almighty says: “Perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.” (Quran 2:216) Imam Hasan al-Basri, a great scholar of Islam, said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur; perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.” For example, if a man is laid off, perhaps it will be a means to securing an even better job, which he might not have opted for had he not been fired in the first place. One of the benefits of calamity that we know about for sure is the fact that a person’s sins are forgiven by the will of God. Mus'ab b. Sa'd b. Malik narrated that his father said: "O Messenger of Allah, who are the most tested and tried people in this world? He answered: 'The Prophets, and then who are simlar to them (i.e. the god-fearing and pious). A man would be tested and tried according to his piety and faith. If the individual has strong faith, he would be tested and tried in a severer manner; similarly, if the man's faith is weak, he would be tested accordingly. A person would be struck by calamities until he is be sin-free." (Ibn Hibban #2901) Fadl ibn Sahl said: “There is a blessing in calamity that the wise man should not ignore, for it [calamity] erases sins, gives one the opportunity to attain the reward for patience, dispels negligence, reminds one of blessings at the time of health, calls one to repent, and encourages one to give charity.” The believer should turn to God when a calamity strikes. In this way, the calamity reminds the believer that his only purpose in life—the reason for his creation—is to worship God alone. This is in fact the 56


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meaning of our existence and the purpose of our life. God says in the Quran: “I created the jinn (demon) and humankind only to worship Me.” (Quran 51:56) Oftentimes, when life is good and man is living in prosperity, he forgets to worship his Lord. It is only when calamity strikes that he remembers to invoke God. So, in this way, a calamity serves as a reminder to fulfill the purpose for which we were created. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah said: “A calamity that makes you turn to God is better for you than a blessing which makes you forget the remembrance of God.” Imam as-Sufyan said: “What a person dislikes may be better for him than what he likes, because what he dislikes causes him to call upon God, whereas what he likes may make him heedless (of worship).” Therefore, whenever calamity strikes, we should show our gratitude to God by saying “All praise is due to God” (Al-Hamdu Lillah). Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, commented: “How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affairs are all good, and this applies to no one but the believer. If something good happens to him, he is thankful for it and that is good for him. If something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience and that is good for him.” (Sahih Muslim) When Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah was wrongfully imprisoned, he regarded it as a blessing that his enemies had enabled for him. Shaykh al-Islam used that time to increase his worship of God. He said: “What can my enemies do to me? …My imprisonment is a religious retreat (an opportunity to worship God), my being killed is martyrdom, and my being expelled from my city is a journey.”

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Prophet Muhammad said: “There is no Muslim who is stricken with a calamity and (then) says what God has enjoined (to say): ‘Verily, to God we belong and unto Him is our return; O God, reward me for my affliction and compensate me with something better’ but God will compensate him with something better.” (Sahih Muslim) We should remember that God tests those whom He loves most. The Prophet said: “The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When God loves a people, He tests them. Whoever accepts this, wins His Pleasure.” (Al-Tirmidhi) And the Prophet said further: “The path to Paradise is surrounded with difficulties.” Calamity and grief is a way of having our sins forgiven in this life, so that we won’t have to face the punishment for these sins in the next life. Prophet Muhammad said: “Trials will continue to befall the believing man and woman—with regard to themselves, their children, and their wealth—until they meet God with no sin on them.” (Al-Tirmidhi) God does not send calamity down upon us in order to destroy us, nor to shatter our will, nor to finish us off, but rather as a means of checking on us, to test our patience and faith. If it were not for trials and tribulations, a person would develop arrogance, heedlessness, and hardheartedness, which would lead him to the pits of Hell. So it is indeed a Mercy of God that He sends down upon us this remedy to cure us of these diseases of the heart, and to eliminate all evil elements in our personality that might lead to our doom. When some calamity strikes us in this life, we should remember that God will recompense us, but we must show patience; the ultimate recompense will not even be in this life, but in the next one, and in this, we should take comfort. Abu Sufyan lost his eye in battle whilst defending the Muslims; he asked the Prophet to pray to God 58


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that he (Abu Sufyan) get his eyesight back. The Prophet asked him if he would rather have his eye in this life or the next, and Abu Sufyan responded that he would rather have the recompense in the next life. Abu Sufyan would in fact go on to lose his other eye as well. God says: “We shower Our Mercy upon whomever We will, and We never fail to recompense the righteous. Additionally, the reward in the Hereafter is even better for those who believe and lead a righteous life.” (Quran 12:56-57) A believer must never despair in God’s Mercy; he should not think that God will not get him out of this rut. In fact, the name of Satan in Arabic (Iblis) comes from the root word ablasa, which means “to despair”. A certain calamity hit Satan (he was “demoted” when Prophet Adam was created); instead of thinking that this was something good from God, Satan despaired of God’s Mercy, and thereupon began his hedonistic lifestyle. Likewise, when calamity strikes some people, they resort to booze and other sinful devices to ebb their pain. But the believers do not fall into despair, but rather they turn to God in worship. God reassures His creation: “By the Glorious Morning Light, and by the Night when it is still! The Guardian-Lord has not forsaken you nor does He hate you. And verily the Hereafter will be better for you than the present. And soon will your Guardian-Lord give you that wherewith you shall be wellpleased.” (Quran 93:1-5)

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Chapter 6. Despair & Suicide from Islamic Perspective Instances of suicide or self-killing have been known throughout recorded history. It was known and discussed in the ancient Greek and Roman civilisations; it has been noted in the Jewish and Christian faiths and is mentioned in the classical Hindu books. Suicide or hara kiri is part of the ancient Japanese honour code and is noted in Asian cultures. It is not something confined to Western civilisation and is even found in Muslim majority countries even though it is well known that it is something clearly prohibited in Islam. In the Quran there are sanctions against suicide. “And do not kill yourselves. Surely, God is Most Merciful to you.” (Quran 4:29) “And do not throw yourselves in destruction.” (Quran 2:195) The Quran makes it clear that human life is sacred. Life cannot be taken without justification and the right to life is inherent in the tenants of Islam. Life itself is a gift from the Creator that we are obliged to care for. Suicide out of despair of God’s mercy or worldly problems is strictly forbidden. Prophet Muhammad, may God praise him, said: Whoever kills himself with something in this world will be punished with it on the Day of Resurrection. It is a major sin and its punishment is subject to the will of God. If He wills, He will forgive it, and if He wills He will punish for it. Life is an unending succession of moments. At the two extremes there are joyful moments that make our hearts soar and dark moments that plunge us into sadness and worry or even despair. Gladness and its opposite sadness are part of the human condition, however when we lose control over our emotions we can easily fall into despair. Despair is the feeling that we get when all hope has disappeared and it is a very dangerous situation. God tells us not to despair and particularly not to despair of His mercy. God has not abandoned us in face of the temptations and trials we face in this world; He is ever merciful and has equipped us with potent weapons. God, the Most Merciful, gives us clear guidelines and promises two things, if we worship Him and follow His guidance we 61


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will be rewarded with Paradise and that after hardship we will find ease. “But those who believe and do deeds of righteousness, We shall admit them to the Gardens under which rivers flow (i.e., in Paradise), to dwell therein forever. [It is] the promise of God, [which is] truth, and whose words can be truer than those of God.” (Quran 4:122) “So verily, with hardship, there is ease.” (Quran 94:5) When Prophet Jacob was grieving and sad, he turned to God, and the Quran tells us that he beseeched God for relief. “He said: ‘I only complain of my grief and sorrow to God...” (Quran 12:86) Prophet Muhammad also said, “No misfortune or disease befalls a Muslim, no worry or grief or harm or distress – not even a thorn that pricks him – but God will expiate for some of his sins because of that.” The religion of Islam is primarily concerned with making and keeping a connection with the One God. One of the biggest mistakes that people can make is to separate their worldly life from their religious life. The stressful situations that cause us to despair and feel unconnected to God always originate in the affairs of this world, such as emotional issues, financial stress, substance abuse or health issues. Especially in this new century one of the most common reasons for despair is a sense of isolation or detachment from others. God has promised us that He is well aware of the situations that we face and He has given us weapons with which to face them. In a series of articles on this site we discuss the weapons of patience, gratitude and trust. However when it comes to despair, the condition that could in some situations lead a person to contemplate taking his or her own life, we need to dig a little deeper, we need to remind ourselves first and foremost that God is Merciful and that no matter what situation we find ourselves in He is ready to forgive and help. 62


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God the most merciful, compassionate, and beneficent has instructed us to inculcate these attributes and treat each other with respect and fairness. This includes not leaving anyone alone with their problems and worries. A little bit of support and care might help someone avoid the sin of ending their own life. God also tells us not to mock, scorn, insult, abuse or put down one another. “O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers.” (Quran 49:11) Both God and Prophet Muhammad remind us that He will punish those of us who commit injustices or oppress others. “And whoever oppresses (commits injustice) among you, We will make him taste a great punishment.” (Quran 25:19) Prophet Muhammad said: “A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfills the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs; whoever brought his (Muslim) brother out of a discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever covers the faults of a Muslim, Allah will cover his faults on the Day of Resurrection.” Thus there is certainly a benefit in treating others well, especially in coming to the aid of friends or family members who are overwhelmed by life’s cruelties and injustices. However what of the people who feel alone, crushed by circumstance and are teetering on the edge of despair. How can a person suffering from suicidal thoughts bring themselves back from the brink? This can be achieved in many ways; firstly by strengthening one’s relationship with God. This is achieved by reading the Quran, being mindful of Him and making lots of dua (supplication) to God. Next a person would do well to recognise Satan’s hand in this matter. He 63


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whispers frightening scenarios of poverty and helplessness. They are not true for God’s mercy conquers all. Cling to Him and to Islam even in the darkest hour and the longest night. Along with the weapons mentioned earlier God also gave us Prophet Muhammad, a mercy to all the worlds, to all the people. Trying to emulate him, this will make a despairing person calmer and closer to God. If we are mindful that God has control over all things and that He ultimately wants us to live forever in Paradise, we can begin to leave our sadness and worry behind. If we face our fears and anxieties with complete trust in God and if we show patience and gratitude with all our circumstances, sadness and worry will disappear or at least feel lighter. Prophet Muhammad said: Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer! They are all for his benefit. If he is granted ease then he is thankful, and this is good for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres, and this is good for him.

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Chapter 7. The Partnership Between Soul & Body In Islam The dualism between the body and soul is very clearly evident in the physical world. The body is subservient and the soul is in charge; however both are indispensable. It is just that the soul is the master while the body is the obedient servant. People have a habit of letting themselves become fully absorbed in fulfilling their physical needs to the utter disregard of their spiritual ones, which are rarely so much as contemplated. We need only look at the vast number of institutions that exist to deal with the material aspects of our lives compared to the paucity of those that focus on the needs of the soul – the mosque being one of those. The body has its rights and its demands upon us. However what worth does the body have without the soul? It is a mere corpse, no matter how powerfully or beautifully it is constructed. If the soul departs from it, it becomes a wasted husk. Its beauty can only be realized in partnership with the soul. If we look to apply this concept within an Islamic context, we immediately notice that all our acts of worship (including prayer, fasting, Zakah, and Hajj) require the participation of both the body and soul. However, the regrettable thing that overwhelmed the People of the Scripture – the followers of Moses and Jesus (peace be upon them both) – as well as many of the followers of Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him – is that of being overly concerned with outward appearances at the expense of substance. There is more concern about physical appearance than there is with the soul. Concern for the outward aspects of worship is something good (though at times it can get out of hand), but such concern should not result in the inner meaning of our worship being forgotten.

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The physical aspects of our prayers are our standing, bowing, sitting, and prostrating. These are the aspects of prayer that most Muslims learn and commit to memory. These are the matters that they generally ask about, sometimes in great detail. The spiritual aspects of prayer are our devotion, humility, and submission to God in full sincerity and devotion. It entails our recognition of God’s greatness and divinity that inspires us with a sense of reverence and awe. Is there any relationship between our concern for the physical aspects of prayer and our concern for the spiritual? Indeed, there is! When we carry out the outward aspects of prayer, we are, without doubt, obeying our Lord and fulfilling His command by upholding one of the pillars of our faith. At the same time, we realize that there is an infinite wisdom behind these acts of worship; at times, we comprehend that wisdom! The same can be said for fasting. Why do we fast? Surely God does not need our fasts. God says: "O humanity! You are in need of God and He is free of all wants, worthy of praise." (Quran 35:15) The Prophet said: "Whoever does not leave off false speech and evil deeds, then God has no need of his leaving off his food and drink." We know that God has no need for us to abstain from eating and drinking. The Prophet said, conveying to us the words of his Lord: "O my servants! If the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you came together as the heart of the most pious man among you, it would not increase my dominion in the least. O my servants! If the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you came together as the heart of the most sinful man among you, it would not diminish my dominion in the least."

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Surely fasting was not prescribed to punish us and make us suffer from hunger and thirst, for God says: "What can God gain by your punishment if you are thankful and you believe, and God is grateful and all-knowing." (Quran 4:147) The Prophet, during the pilgrimage, saw an old man being supported on both sides by his two sons. The Prophet asked: "What is the matter with him?" They said: "He had taken an oath to walk." The Prophet said: "God is in no need of this man’s punishing of himself." Then he ordered the man to ride. Was fasting, then, prescribed for us to attain blessings and rewards? Without doubt, God bestows immense rewards upon His servants for their fasts. The Prophet said: "Whoever fasts in faith seeking reward, all of his previous sins will be forgiven." However, the rewards and blessings that we receive for our fasts, our prayers, and our charity are God’s reward to us to encourage us to do these good deeds. The question remains: Why do we fast? Why do we get such a great reward for doing so? Why do we pray and embark upon the pilgrimage? As I see it, we do so for two purposes: The first is to develop our faith and build our moral character on a basis of piety and certainty. God says about fasting: "O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that perhaps you may guard against evil." (Quran 2:183) About prayer, God says: "Indeed prayer restrains from shameful and unjust deeds." (Quran 29:45) 67


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About the Hajj, He says: "And let there be no obscenity, wickedness, or wrangling in the Hajj." (Quran 2:197) God says about paying Zakah: "Take alms of their wealth, wherewith you may cleanse them and purify them." (Quran 9:103) This meaning can be seen in all acts of worship. They all seek to build a person’s character and perfect his moral conduct, his beliefs, and his faith. Our worship aims to cleanse and renew our hearts, making them free from base qualities like deception, avarice, rancour, and unbridled lust. The second purpose of our worship is to reform the relationship between the person and others. By developing a person’s character and cultivating within him certain values, a person’s worship results in his safeguarding the rights of others on every possible level of interaction. This includes the relationship between husband and wife, parent and child, and likewise between neighbours and between the governed and the one who governs them. Even the rights of animals and the environment are safeguarded in this way. Islam brings with it values governing a Muslim’s conduct towards everything that surrounds him. All the acts of worship that were prescribed to humanity in the previous manifestations of the religion and in Islam are part of a single program designed to fulfill these two purposes: to build the individual and to develop his relationship with others. What meaning does fasting have for a person who merely eschews food and drink and other pleasures that are lawful under normal circumstances, only to engage in forbidden acts like speaking falsehood and mistreating others? How much worse is it to engage in unlawful things in the month of Ramadan, and possibly even during the day while fasting? How is it for such a person who lives 68


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a dual life, his worship completely divorced from his everyday life, having no effect on his dealings with others? We have a right to ask ourselves in earnest: When will our worship change from being merely an outwardly act into a reality that is rich in meaning and that carries with it a deep and noble purpose? When will our worship start to affect our personalities, building us into people of integrity who fulfill their duties, recognize their own shortcomings, and work to improve themselves before rushing to judge others? Only then will our worship take on its full meaning.

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Chapter 8. The True Richness from Islamic Perspective Many people mistakenly assume that true wealth and real treasure is that of money. It is indeed true that wealth is a great blessing from God which He bestows upon His servants. And the one who earns it purely, and spends it properly, and gives it to those that deserve it, without a doubt earns a great reward from God. But at the same time, wealth is not the greatest blessing that can be given to mankind. Furthermore, no matter how much wealth a person has, eventually it will leave him, and pass on into the hands of others. The Prophet, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, reminded us of this when he asked the Companions, “Who amongst you loves the money of his inheritors more than his own money?” They replied, “O Messenger of God! There is no one of us except that he loves his own money more than he loves the money of his inheritors.” So the Prophet replied, “But his money is only that which he sent forth, and the money of his inheritors is what he left behind.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari) So in reality most of the money that a person owns will eventually end up in the hands of his or her inheritors, and only that part which was spent for the sake of God will actually benefit one in the Hereafter. God emphasizes this point in the Quran with the teaching that: “Wealth and children are the adornments of the life of this world. But the permanent righteous deeds are better in your Lord’s Sight (to attain) rewards, and better in respect of hope.” (Quran 18:46) So money and children can be a comfort and a pleasure of this life, but righteous deeds are what will remain permanently — not one’s family or wealth. It is these righteous deeds which will bring a 71


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person God’s Pleasure, and through which a person can hope for an ever-lasting reward in the Hereafter. The Quran clearly states, “And it is not your wealth, nor your children that bring you nearer to Us, but only he (will please Us) who believes, and does righteous deeds; for such (people), there will be a double reward for what they did, and they will reside in the high dwellings (of Paradise), in peace and security.” (Quran 34:37) In a well-known and oft-repeated parable, the Quran compares the life of this world to a crop that flourishes after rainfall, only to wither up and shrivel in a short period of time. The Quran states, “Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children – like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion.” (Quran 57:20) Imam al-Sa’adi summarised the commentary of this verse when he wrote, in a very beautiful passage: In this verse, God informs us of the true nature of this world, and what it is really based on, and He explains its end, and the end of the people in it. He informs us that it is a mere play and amusement, so our bodies play in it, and our hearts are amused at it. And we see that this is exactly what the people that are following this world are upon, so you find that they have wasted their entire lives so that they can amuse their hearts. They are in total ignorance about remembering God, and what they are about to face of rewards and punishments (in the Hereafter). You see them taking their religion as an amusement and pastime. And this is in contrast to the people of awareness, and the ones that strive for the Hereafter. Their hearts are alive with the remembrance of God, and His knowledge, and His love. And they have busied themselves with actions that will bring them closer to God, whether 72


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those actions will benefit themselves only, or also others. And the phrase, ‘amusement and diversion’ means that they will try to beautify themselves in their clothes, food, drinks, the means of transportation, their houses and palaces, their prestige, and other matters. The phrase, ‘boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children,’ implies that everyone is attached (to this world), trying to outdo others, so that he will be the victor in all its matters. He wishes that he can satisfy all of his desires through it. And (this occurs in money and children), so each one wants to be the one that has more than the other, in terms of money and children. And this is what is occurring amongst those that love this world and are content with it. But this is in contrast to the one who realizes this world and its reality, so he made it a passage, and not the goal. So he competed in coming closer to God, and he took the necessary means to ensure that he would arrive at the promised destination. So when he sees someone who tries to compete with him in money and children, he instead competes against him with good deeds! Then, God drew for us a parable of this world. It is like a rain that falls to the earth, and then mixes with the vegetation that is eaten by men and animals, until, when the earth spreads forth its beauty, and the disbelievers — those who cannot see beyond this life — are amazed at its fruits, the command of God comes upon it. So it is destroyed, and it withers up, and dries, and it returns to its previous state, as if the land never gave any greenery, and as if no beauty were ever seen on it! And this is how this world is! While it is at its prime for its companion, sprouting forth with beauty, whatever he wants of its treasures he can take, and whenever he wants to obtain anything of it, he finds the doors to achieve it are open, when, all of a sudden, God’s decree falls upon it. So all is the material gain he made from the world is removed from his hands, and his control over it is gone, or he himself is removed from it, so he leaves the world with absolutely nothing of it in his hands. In the end, he would have gained nothing from all of it except a shroud (in which his body is 73


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wrapped). So woe to him who makes it his goal, and sacrifices everything for it, and strives and devotes his entire life to it! And as for the actions of the Hereafter, then that is what will truly benefit. It will store for its owner (the fruits of his work), and will accompany him forever. This is why God stated, “But in the Hereafter (there is) a severe torment (for the disbelievers), and (there is) Forgiveness from God and (His) Good Pleasure (for the believers).” (Quran 35:7) So, the Hereafter will be one of these two matters only. As for the punishment, then it will be in the Fire of Hell, and its pits and chains, and all of its horrors. And this will be for one who has made this world his goal, and the end of his journey, so he freely disobeyed God, and rejected His signs, and did not thank His blessings. And as for the forgiveness from God for one’s sins, and the absolvement of all punishment, and the pleasure of God, then this will be for one who strived for the Abode of Enjoyment (Paradise) — the one who realized the true nature of this world, and therefore strived in truth for the Hereafter. So all of this should make us lessen our desire for this world, and increase our desire for the Hereafter, and this is why God said, “And indeed, the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment.” So, this (life) is an enjoyment that a person can benefit from, and take his needs from. No one except a person of weak mind will be deceived by it, and become content with it, and these are the ones that God will allow to be deceived by the Deceiver (Shaytan). No matter how much money a person earns, in reality he only utilizes a very small fraction of it. Ponder over the wise reminder from the Prophet, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him. Abdullah ibn al-Shakhir reported, “I entered upon the Prophet and he was reciting ‘Alhakum altakathur’: “Competition in [worldly] increase diverts you.” (Quran 102:1) 74


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He said, ‘The son of Adam would say: ‘My money! My money!’ But do you have, O son of Adam, anything of your money, except that which you ate, and it was put to waste, or that which you wore, till it wore out, or that which you gave in charity, so you have sent it forth (to get its rewards in the Hereafter)?’” (Saheeh Muslim) In this hadith, the Prophet reminded us that, in reality, all of our money is utilized in only three ways. Firstly, the food that we eat, and this eventually is transformed into waste. Secondly, the clothes that we wear, and this eventually wears out such that it is unusable. Thirdly, the money that has been given out for the sake of God, and this is the only part whose benefit remains and returns to us. So of what benefit is it for a person to gloat over ‘his money’, and boast about it, and be eager for it, when in reality so little of it is actually spent in such a way as to provide eternal benefit? Because of these factors, the Prophet Muhammad reminded mankind that wealth is not proportionate to the amount of material possessions a person owns. True wealth is to be content with what one has, and then to use it to strive for the everlasting reward of the Hereafter. The Prophet said, “Richness is not in the quantity of possessions (that one has); rather, true richness is the richness of one’s self (or contentment).” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari) He also stated, “That which is little yet sufficient is better than that which is much but distracts.” And in a third hadith, “He is indeed successful who has been guided to Islam, and his sustenance was sufficient for him, and he was content with it.” (Saheeh Muslim) Lastly,

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“The best sustenance that you are given is that which is sufficient.” From this, we can clearly see that true success and wealth is found in the peace and satisfaction which results from sincerity in faith and practice. The contentment of the heart is what makes a person realize and appreciate this true richness. The Prophet described this richness in another hadith, where he said, “Whoever amongst you wakes up, secure in his home, healthy in his body, having the bare amount of food that he requires for the day, then it is as if the entire world has been captured for him, with all that it contains!” This hadith has many benefits that can be obtained from it. ‘Whoever amongst you...,’ means the Muslims, indicating the first and greatest blessing, namely, that of Islam; ‘...wakes up...,’ means that one has been blessed with life; ‘..secure in his house..,’ means without fear of attack upon one’s safety or the safety of one’s family; ‘...healthy in his body...,’ means that God has saved him or her from diseases and sicknesses; ‘...having the bare amount of food that he requires for the day...’ indicates that even the minimal amount of sustenance is a great blessing from God, for this is what the body and health requires, and many people do not even have this amount; and lastly, ‘.. .it is as if the entire world has been captured for him, with all that it contains,’ indicating that this is all that a person needs of this life, and everything that is in addition to this bare minimum is an unnecessary luxury. Contentment with God’s provision, whether large or small, is contentment with life, and hence, the best wealth that a person can have. The Prophet stated, “Verily God tests His slave with what He has given him. So whoever is content with whatever he has been assigned, then God will bless him in it, and give him more! But whoever is not content (with what he has been given), then he will not be blessed in it.” Those who are content with their own provision and lot in life will lose concern over the wealth and status of others. Such people have no concern as to how much money others have, what types of cars they drive, or the size of the houses they live in. Those with pure 76


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hearts in this respect love God, and are grateful to Him, knowing that the goods of this world cannot buy happiness, or the blessings of faith and contentment. In return, they are loved by God, and by fellow men and women. This principle is so clearly outlined in the noble Prophetic tradition: “Give up (hope of attaining) this world, God will love you. And give up (hope of) whatever is in the possession of other people, and the people will love you.” In another narration, a person came to the Prophet and asked him, “O Messenger of God! Narrate to me a hadith, and make it short!” So he replied, “Pray your prayer as if it is your last, as if you are looking at Him (God), for even if you do not see Him then He sees you. And give up hope (of obtaining) what other’s possess and you will live a wholesome life. And beware of anything that you might (later) have to make an excuse for.” So whoever sets as a primary goal the pleasure of God and the rewards of the Hereafter will be loved by God, and whoever avoids competing with fellow Muslims concerning worldly matters will be loved by the people. And this wealth - the love of God and that of mankind — is far greater than any richness that money can buy. The pious predecessors of this nation also realized this principle. Awn ibn Abdillah said, “The greatest blessing is that — when things become difficult for you — you appreciate what you have been given of the blessings of Islam.” So next time you are in severe financial circumstances, instead of looking at the material and temporary pleasures that you are not able to acquire, ponder instead over the “treasure of Iman (Faith)” that God has blessed you with, and appreciate the great fortune of being a Muslim! Likewise, when you are overjoyed or distressed due to some monetary gain or loss, remember the statement of Muhammad ibn Suqah, who said, “There are two characteristics which, even though God does not punish us for them, are reason enough for our punishment: we are overjoyed at a small gain that we receive from this world, and yet 77


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God has never seen us so happy for a good deed that we do, and we are so worried about a small matter that has missed us concerning this world, and yet God has never seen us so worried about a sin that we commit.” I will conclude this chapter by quoting the verse in which God reminded the Prophet and the believers to not long for the wealth of this world — wealth that has been given to those that have rejected submission to God - but rather to strive for the richness of the Hereafter: “And do not look towards that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them, [its being but] the splendor of worldly life by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more lasting.” (Quran 20:131)

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Chapter 9. The Inner Peace In Islam The topic of inner peace addresses a universal need. There is nobody on this planet that does not desire inner peace. It is not a desire that is new to our time; rather, it is something that everybody has been searching for throughout the ages, regardless of color, creed, religion, race, nationality, age, sex, wealth, ability or technological advancement. People have taken a variety of different paths in trying to achieve inner peace, some through accumulating material possessions and wealth, others through drugs; some through music, others through meditation; some through their husbands and wives, others through their careers and some through their children’s achievements. And the list goes on. Yet the search also goes on. In our time we have been led to believe that technological advancement and modernization will produce for us physical comforts and through these we will attain inner peace. However, if we were to take the most technologically advanced and most industrialized nation in the world, America, then we would see that what we have been led to believe is not factual. The statistics show that in America some 20 million adults suffer from depression yearly; and what is depression but a total lack of inner peace? Furthermore in the year 2000 death rate due to suicide was double the rate of those who died from Aids. However, the news media being what it is, we hear more about those who die from Aids than we do about those who die by committing suicide. Also more people die from suicide in America than from homicide, and the homicide rates themselves are massive. So the reality is that technological advancement and modernization have not bought inner peace and tranquility. Rather in spite of the comforts that modernization has brought us, we are further away from inner peace than our ancestors were. Inner peace is for the most part of our lives very elusive; we never seem to get our hands on it. 79


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Many of us mistake personal pleasures for inner peace; we achieve elements of pleasure from a variety of things, be it wealth, sexual relations or other than that. But these do not last, they come and go. Yes we have personal pleasures from time to time and we are pleased with various things from time to time, but this is not inner peace. True inner peace is a sense of stability and contentment which carries us through all the trials and difficulties of life. We need to understand that peace is not something that will exist in this world around us because when we define peace according to the dictionary definition it states that peace is freedom from war or civil strife. Where do have this? There is always a war or some sort of civil unrest happening somewhere in the world. If we look at peace in terms of the state level then peace is freedom from public disorder and security, but where in the world do we have this in a complete form? If we look at peace on a social level, family and work, then peace is freedom from disagreements and arguments, but is there such a social environment that never has disagreements or arguments? In terms of location, then yes, we can have a place which is calm, peaceful and tranquil, some islands for example, but this external peace only exists for a small amount of time, sooner or later a storm or a hurricane will come. God says: “Verily, I have created man in toil (struggle).” (Quran 90:4) This is the nature of our lives; we are in toil and struggle, ups and downs, times of difficulties and times of ease. It is a life full of tests as God says: “And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to as-Saabirin (the patient ones, etc.).” (Quran 2:155) To deal with our circumstances, the circumstances of toil and struggle in which we live, patience is the key. But if we go back to the inner peace that we are looking for, then patience cannot manifest itself if we do not have that inner peace. 80


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We are living in a world of toil and struggle, but yet within ourselves it is possible to attain inner peace, peace with the environment, with the world in which we live. Obviously there are some obstacles which prevent us from attaining peace. So first we have to identify the obstacles in our lives which prevent us from achieving maximum inner peace and develop some kind of strategy to remove them. The obstacles will not be removed just by thinking that we need to remove them; we have to develop some steps to achieve this. So how do we go about removing these obstacles so that we can achieve what is possible of inner peace? The first step is to identify the obstacles themselves. We have to be aware of them, because if we cannot identify them then we cannot remove them. The second step is to accept them as obstacles within ourselves. For example anger is one of the biggest obstacles to inner peace, for example. If a person is angry, worked up and has blown a fuse, how can he or she have inner peace in that circumstance? It is not possible. So the person needs to recognize that anger is an obstacle to inner peace. However, if a person states that, “Yes, it is an obstacle but I do not get angry�, then such a person has a problem. He has not accepted that obstacle as a problem and is in a state of self denial. As such he cannot remove it. If we look at the obstacles in life we can put them under a variety of headings: personal problems, family issues, financial dilemmas, work pressures and spiritual confusion. And there are many issues under these headings. The Destiny We have so many problems, so many obstacles that they are like illnesses. If we try to deal with them one by one we will never get through them. We need to identify them, put them in some general categories and tackle them as a group as opposed to trying to tackle each individual obstacle and problem. 81


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To do this we have to first of all remove obstacles that are beyond our control. We have to be able to distinguish which obstacles are within our control and which ones are beyond our control. While we perceive the ones that are beyond our control as obstacles the reality is that they are not. They are the things that God has destined for us in our lives, they are not really obstacles, but we have misinterpreted them as being obstacles. For example, in this time one might find oneself born black in a world that favors white people over black people; or born poor in a world that favors the rich over the poor, or born short, or crippled, or any other physical condition which is considered a handicap. These are all things that were and are beyond our control. We did not choose which family to be born in to; we did not choose which body for our spirit to be blown into, this is not our choice. So whatever we find of these kinds of obstacles then we just have to be patient with them and realize that, in fact, they are not really obstacles. God told us: “…and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. God knows but you do not know.” (Quran 2:216) So the obstacles that are beyond our control, we may dislike them and we may want to change them, and some actually people spend a lot of money trying to change them. Michael Jackson is a classic example. He was born black in a world that favors white people, so he spent a lot of money trying to change himself but he only ended up making a mess of things. Inner peace can only be achieved if the obstacles that are beyond our control are accepted by us patiently as part of God’s destiny. Know that whatever happens which we had or have no control over, then God has put in it some good, whether or not we are able to grasp what is good in it; the good is still there. So we accept it! There was an article in a newspaper which had a photograph of a smiling Egyptian man. He had a smile on his face from ear to ear 82


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with his hands stretched out and both thumbs sticking up; his father was kissing him on one cheek and his sister on the other cheek. Underneath the photograph it had a caption. He was supposed to have been on a Gulf Air flight the day before, Cairo to Bahrain. He had dashed down to the airport to catch the flight and when he got there he had one stamp missing on his Passport (In Cairo you have to have many stamps on your documents. You get a person to stamp this and sign that and that person to stamp that and sign this) but there he was at the airport with one stamp missing. As he was a teacher in Bahrain and this flight was the last one back to Bahrain which would enable him to report back on time, missing it meant that he would have lost his job. So he nagged them to let him on the flight. He became frantic, started crying and screaming and going berserk, but he could not get on the plane. It took off without him. He went (to his home in Cairo) distraught, thinking that he was finished and that his career was over. His family comforted him and told him not to worry about it. The next day, he heard the news that the plane he was meant to be on crashed and everybody on board died. And then there he was, ecstatic that he did not make the flight, but the day before it, was as if it was the end of his life, a tragedy that he did not get on the flight. These are signs, and such signs can be found in the story of Mosa and Khidr (which best we read every Jumu’ah, i.e. Chapter al-Kahf of the Holy Quran). When Khidr made a hole in the boat of the people who were kind enough to take him and Mosa across the river, Mosa asked why he (Khidr) did that. When the owners of the boat saw the hole in the boat they wondered who did it and thought that it was a nasty thing to have done. A short while later the king came down to the river and forcefully took away for himself all the boats except the one with a hole in it. So the owners of the boat praised God due to the fact that there was a hole in their boat. There are other obstacles or rather things which are perceived as obstacles in our life. These are things in which we cannot figure out what is beyond them. A thing happens and we do not know why, we 83


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do not have an explanation for it. For some people this drives them into disbelief. If one listens to an atheist, he has no inner peace and has rejected God. Why did that person become an atheist? It is abnormal to disbelieve in God, whereas it is normal for us to believe in God because God created us with a natural inclination to believe in Him. God says: “So set you (O Muhammad) your face towards the religion of pure Islamic Monotheism Hanifa (worship none but God Alone) God’s Fitrah (i.e. God’s Islamic Monotheism), with which He has created mankind. No change let there be in Khalq¬illah (i.e. the Religion of God Islamic Monotheism), that is the straight religion, but most of men know not.” (Quran 30:30) The Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, said: “Every child is born with a pure nature (as a Muslim with a natural inclination to believe on God)…” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim) This is the nature of human beings, but a person who becomes an atheist without having been taught it from childhood usually does so because of a tragedy. If a tragedy happens in their life they have no explanations as to why it happened. For example, a person who became an atheist may say that he/she had a wonderful auntie; she was a very good person and everybody loved her, but one day whilst she was out crossing the road a car came out of nowhere and hit her and she died. Why did this happen to her of all people? Why? No explanations! Or a person (who became an atheist) may have had a child who died and say why did this happen to my child? Why? No explanations! As a result of such tragedies they then think that there can not possibly be a God. The Patience & Goals In Life Going back to the story of Prophet Moses (Musa) and Prophet Khidr, after they crossed the river they came across a child, and Khidr 84


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intentionally killed that child. Moses asked Khidr how he could possibly do such a thing? The child was innocent and Khidr simply killed him! Khidr told Moses that the child had righteous parents and if the child had grown up (God knew that) he would have become such a terror for his parents that he would have driven them into disbelief, so God ordered the death of the child. Of course the parents grieved when they found their child dead. However, God replaced their child with one who was righteous and better for them. This child honored them and was good to and for them, but the parents would always have a hole in their heart due to losing their first child, right until the Day of Judgment when they will stand before God, and He will reveal to them the reason why He took the soul of their first child and then they will then understand and praise God. So this is the nature of our lives. There are things, things which are apparently negative, things which happen in our lives which seem to be obstacles to inner peace because we do not understand them or why they happened to us, but we have to put them aside. They are from God and we have to believe that ultimately there is good behind them, whether we can see it or not. Then we move on to those things that we can change. First we identify them, then we move to the second major step and that is removing the obstacles by developing solutions for them. To remove the obstacles we have to focus mostly on self-change and this is because God says: “Verily! God will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of good within themselves…” (Quran 13:11) This is an area which we have control over. We can even develop patience, although the common idea is that some people are just born patient. A man came to the Prophet, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon himraise his name, and asked what he needed to do to get to Paradise, so the Prophet told him: “Do not get angry.” (Saheeh AlBukhari) 85


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The man was an individual who would get angry quickly, so the Prophet told the man that he needed to do change his angry nature. So changing oneself and one’s character is something achievable. The Prophet also said: “Whoever pretends to be patient (with a desire to be patient) God will give him patience.” This is recorded in Saheeh Al-Bukhari. This means that although some people are born patient the rest of us can learn to be patient. Interestingly in Western psychiatry and psychology they used to tell us to get it off our chest, don’t hold it in because if we did we would explode, so better to let it all out. Later on they discovered that when people let it all out small blood vessels would burst in their brain because they were so angry. They found that it was actually dangerous and potentially damaging to let it all out. So now they say it is better not to let it all out. The Prophet told us to try to be patient, so externally we should give that façade of being patient even when internally we are boiling. And we do not try to be patient externally in order to deceive people; rather, we do so in order to develop patience. If we are consistent in this then the external image of patience also becomes internal and as a result complete patience is achieved and is achievable as mentioned in the Hadeeth quoted above. Among the methods is to look at how the material elements of our lives play a major part with regards to patience and us achieving it. The Prophet gave us advice on how to deal with these elements by saying: “Do not look to those above you who are more fortunate, instead, look to those below you or less fortunate…” This is because no matter what our situation is, there are always those who are worse off than us. This should be our general strategy with regards to the material life. Nowadays the material life is a huge part of our life, we seem to be obsessed with it; gaining all we can in this world seems to be the main point that most of us focus 86


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our energies towards. So if one must do this then they should not let it affect their inner peace. While dealing with the material world we should not keep focusing on those who are better off than us otherwise we will never be satisfied with what we have. The Prophet said: “If you give the son of Adam a valley of gold he would want another one.” (Saheeh Muslim) The saying is that the grass is always greener on the other side; and the more a person has the more a person wants. We cannot achieve satisfaction in the material world if we are chasing after it in such a way; rather, we should look to those who are less fortunate, this way we will remember the gifts, benefits and mercy that God has bestowed upon us with regards to our own wealth, no matter how little it may seem. There is another saying of the Prophet Muhammad which helps us in the realm of the material world to put our affairs in their proper perspective, and is a Prophetic example of Steven Covey’s principle of “first things first”. The Prophet stated this principle over 1400 years ago and laid this principle down for the believers by saying: “Whoever makes this world his goal God will confuse his affairs and place poverty before his eyes and he will be able to attain nothing from this world except for what God has already written for him…” (Ibn Maajah, Ibn Hibbaan) So a person’s affairs will not come together for him, he will be all over the place, like a chicken with its head cut off, running wild; if he makes this world his goal. God will place poverty before his eyes and no matter how much money he has he will feel poor. Every time someone is nice to him or smiles at him he feels that they are only doing so because they want his money, he can’t trust anyone and is not happy. When the stock market crashes you read about some of those who invested in it committing suicide. A person may have had 8 million and lost 5 million with 3 million left after the market crashed, but 87


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losing that 5 million seems to him to be the end. He sees no point in living after that, as God has put poverty between his eyes. True Inner Peace Is Found by Submitting to God Almighty We have to keep in mind that people will not get from this world except what God has already written for them, this is the bottom line. After all that running around, staying up late at night, being a workaholic a person will only get that which God has already destined for him or her. The Prophet, may God raise his name, said: “Whoever sets the Hereafter as his goal, God gathers his affairs for him, gives him richness of (faith in) the heart and the world will come to him grudgingly and submissively.” (Ibn Maajah, Ibn Hibbaan) Such a person attains richness of the heart. Richness is not about having a lot of wealth, but richness is having wealth of the heart, and what is wealth of the heart? It is contentment, and this is where the peace comes from, when a person submits themselves to God, and this is Islam. The inner peace is accepting Islam in our hearts and living by the principles of Islam. So God will put richness in a person’s heart and this world will come to him submissively, on its knees and humbled. Such a person will not have to chase it. This is the Promise of the Prophet if a person puts “first things first”, and that is the Hereafter. If it is Paradise that we want then that should be manifest in our lives, it should be the point of our focus, what we keep putting in the forefront. So how do we know when the Hereafter is our focus? If we sit down with a person and all we talk about are the latest cars, expensive houses, traveling and holidays and money, if the majority of our conversations is about material things or it is gossip, talking about this person and that person then it means that the Hereafter is not our focus. If the Hereafter was our focus then it would be reflected in our conversation. This is a very basic level in which we can judge

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ourselves, so we should stop and ask ourselves, “What do we spend most of our time talking about”? If we find that our priority is this world, then we need to re-focus, we need to put “first things first”, meaning the Hereafter before the life of this world, and if we do this we can achieve inner peace, and God informed us of this in the Quran, a precise step to take in order to attain inner peace, and God says: “Verily, in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest.” (Quran 13:28) So it is only by the remembrance of God that hearts find rest. This is the inner peace. The remembrance of God is in everything we do as Muslims. Islam is living a life remembering God, and God says: “Perform the prayer for My remembrance…” (Quran 20:14) Everything that we do (in Islam) involves the remembrance of God as Muslims. God says: “Say: ‘Indeed, my prayer, my sacrifice, my living and dying are for God, Lord of all the worlds.’” (Quran 6:162) So here is the way to achieve inner peace, to remember God in all aspects of our lives. This remembrance (dhikr) is not as some people think i.e. to sit in the corner of a dark room constantly repeating “Allah, Allah, Allah…” This is not how we remember God. Yes, such a person is saying God’s name, but if we think about it, if somebody came to you (and for example your name is Muhammad) and kept saying “Muhammad, Muhammad, Muhammad…” you would wonder what is wrong with that person. Does he want something? Is there something that he needs? What is the purpose of repeating my name without further talk? This is not the way to remember God because this is not how the Prophet remembered God and there is no record of him doing that. Some people say that we should remember God by dancing around or swaying from side to side. This is not the way to remember God, 89


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as this too is not how the Prophet remembered God and there is no record of him doing that. The Prophet remembered God in his life. His life was a life of remembrance of God, he lived a life in remembrance of God and this is the true remembrance, in our prayers and in our living and our dying. In summary, the search for inner peace involves recognizing the problems that we have in our lives, recognizing our obstacles, recognizing that inner peace will only come when we identify those obstacles and understand which of them we can change and that we focus on those obstacles we can change, the ones which are related to our self. If we change our self then God will change the world around us and give us the means to deal with the world around us. Even though the world is in turmoil God gives us inner peace with it. Whatever happens we know that it is God’s destiny and that it is God’s trials and we know that ultimately it is for our good and has good in it. God created us in this world and the world as a means to attain Paradise and the trials of this world is our own spiritual growth. If we can accept all this, accepting God in our hearts then we can find inner peace.

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Chapter 10. The True Happiness In Islam Even though happiness is perhaps one of the most important things in life, science still can not explain much about it. Its concept itself is elusive. Is it an idea, emotion, virtue, philosophy, ideal, or is it just programmed in the genes? There is no agreed upon definition for it, yet still everyone seems to be selling happiness these days drug dealers, pharmaceutical companies, Hollywood, toy companies, self-help gurus, and, of course, Disney, creator of the Happiest Place on Earth. Can happiness really be purchased? Is happiness achieved by maximizing pleasure, earning fame and fortune, or living a life of unlimited leisure? The series of articles will briefly explore the evolution of happiness in Western thought, followed by the present cultural understanding in the West. Finally, the meaning and a few means of attaining happiness in Islam will be discussed. Evolution of Happiness in Western Thought The Christian idea of happiness was based on a reported saying of Jesus, "‌now is your time of grief, I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy" (John 16:22) The Christian idea of happiness was developed over the centuries and, in turn, rested on a theology of sin, which, as St. Augustine explained in The City of God, taught that because of Adam and Eve’s original transgression in the Garden of Eden, true happiness was "unattainable in our present life." In 1776, Thomas Jefferson, summarizing a good century of reflection on the subject in Europe and America, deemed the "pursuit of happiness" a "self-evident" truth. By this time, the truth of happiness had been declared so often and so confidently that, for many, it scarcely needed evidence. It was, as Jefferson said, selfevident. To secure the "greatest happiness for the greatest number" had become the moral imperative of the century. But just how "selfevident" was the pursuit of happiness? Was it, in fact, so obvious that happiness was our naturally intended end? Christians confessed 91


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that human beings pursued happiness during their earthly pilgrimage, but remained skeptical about its attainment. Elsewhere, Jefferson himself was pessimistic whether the chase would ever be brought to a satisfying conclusion. "Perfect happiness...was never intended by the Deity to be the lot of one of his creatures," he specified in a letter of 1763, adding soberly that even "the most fortunate of us, in our journey through life, frequently meet with calamities and misfortunes which may greatly afflict us." To "fortify our minds" against these attacks, he concluded, "should be one of the principal studies and endeavors of our lives." Whereas in the fifth century, Boethius could claim that "God is happiness itself," by the middle of the 19th century, the formula was reversed to read "Happiness is God." Earthly happiness emerged as the idol of idols, the locus of meaning in modern life, the source of human aspiration, the purpose of existence, the why and the wherefore. If happiness was not, as Freud said, ‘in the plan of Creation,’ there were those ready to alter the handiwork of the Maker to put it there by manufacturing, consuming, and exporting it as democracy and free-market economy (materialism). As the philosopher Pascal Bruckner observed, "Happiness is the sole horizon of our contemporary democracies." As a surrogate religion, materialism relocated God to the shopping mall. Happiness in Western Culture In our culture, it is commonly believed that happiness is achieved when you become rich, powerful, or popular. The young want to be that popular pop idol, the old dream of winning the jackpot. We often seek happiness by removing all stress, sadness, and irritations. For some, happiness lies in mood-altering therapies. Eva Moskowitz, a historian, gives some idea of the American obsession with the gospel of therapy: "Today, this obsession knows no bounds‌there are more than 260 [different kinds of] 12-step programs in America." One reason we have so much trouble attaining happiness is that we have no idea about what it is. Consequently, we make poor

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judgments in life. An Islamic tale illustrates the relationship of judgment with happiness.

"Oh, great sage, Nasrudin," said the eager student, "I must ask you a very important question, the answer to which we all seek: What is the secret to attaining happiness?" Nasrudin thought for a time, then responded. "The secret of happiness is good judgment." "Ah," said the student. "But how do we attain good judgment? "From experience," answered Nasrudin. "Yes," said the student. "But how do we attain experience?’ "Bad judgment."

An example of our good judgment is knowing that materialistic comforts by themselves do not lead to lasting happiness. Having reached that conclusion by our good judgment, we do not retreat into our comforts. We continue to crave a happiness that seems out of reach. We make more money thinking that is the way to become happy, and in the process neglect our family. Most big events we dream of yield less sustained happiness than we hoped for. In addition to getting less happiness than we expected or hoped for, we 93


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frequently do not know exactly what we want, what will make us happy or how to get it. We misjudge. Enduring happiness does not come from ‘making it.’ Imagine someone could snap their fingers and give you fame, fortune, and leisure. Would you be happy? You would be euphoric, but in the short run. Gradually you would adapt to your new circumstance and life would return to its normal mix of emotions. Studies show that big lottery winners after a few months are no happier than the average person! To recover the joy, you would now need an even higher high. Consider, too, how we have "made it." In 1957, our per-person income, expressed in today’s dollars, was less than $8,000. Today it is $16,000. With doubled incomes, we now have double the material goods that money can buy - including twice as many cars per person. We also have microwave ovens, color TVs, VCRs, answering machines, and $12 billion a year worth of brand-name athletic shoes. So are we happier? No. In 1957, 35 percent of Americans told the National Opinion Research Center they were "very happy." In 1991, only 31 percent said the same. Meanwhile, depression rates have soared. God’s Prophet of Mercy said: "True enrichment does not come through possessing a lot of wealth, but true enrichment is the enrichment of the soul." (Saheeh AlBukhari) Science & Happiness The Merriam Webster online dictionary defines happiness as a state of well being or contentment, a pleasurable or satisfying experience. Philosophers often define happiness in terms of living a good life. Happiness has also been defined as a state of well-being, characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. In the past few years psychologists and researchers have been studying people all over the world to find out what exactly makes us 94


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happy. Is it money, attitude, culture, memory, health, or altruism? New findings suggest that actions have a positive effect on happiness. “Yes! Magazine” has come up with a list of scientifically proven strategies for becoming happy. Not surprisingly they neatly correspond to the way God and His messenger Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, have taught us to behave, which is an indication of the perfection of Islam. Here in no particular order, are seven “scientifically” proven ways to increase happiness. 1. Avoid comparisons. According to Stanford psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, focusing on our own personal achievement instead of comparing ourselves to others, leads to greater satisfaction. God says in the Quran, “Do not strain your eyes in longing for the things that we have given to some groups of them to enjoy, the splendour of the life of this world through which we test them. The provision of your Lord is better and more lasting.” (Quran 20:131) 2. Smile, even when you don’t feel like it. “Happy people…see possibilities, opportunities, and success. When they think of the future, they are optimistic, and when they review the past, they tend to savour the high points,” say Diener and Biswas-Diener. Prophet Muhammad , may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, said, “Do not think little of any good deed, even if it is just greeting your brother with a cheerful smile.”and “To smile in the face of your brother is charity given on your behalf.” One of Prophet Muhammad’s companions said, “Since the day I accepted Islam, the Messenger of God would never meet me without a smiling face.” The late Islamic scholar Sheikh Ibn Baaz, may Allah have mercy on him, said, “A smiling face indicates a good quality and causes blessed results – it indicates that one’s heart is free of rancour and it causes affection to grow between people”. 95


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3. Get out and exercise. A Duke University study shows that exercise may be just as effective as drugs in treating depression. Prophet Muhammad said: “A strong believer is better and more beloved in the sight of God than a weak believer.” He was not only talking in terms of faith and character, but also that optimum health and fitness were desirable traits in a believer. 4. Make friends and treasure family. Happier people tend to have good families, friends, and supportive relationships, say Diener and Biswas-Diener. “We don’t just need relationships, we need close ones” that involve understanding and caring. Allah, the Exalted, says: “Worship God and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, the poor, the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet). Verily, God does not like those who are proud and boastful.” (Quran 4:36) Prophet Muhammad said, “Among the things that bring happiness to a believer in this life are a righteous neighbour, a spacious house and a good steed.” Islam places great emphasis on the solidarity of families, neighbourhoods and the wider community. 5. Say thank you like you mean it. People who keep gratitude journals on a weekly basis are healthier, more optimistic, and more likely to make progress toward achieving personal goals, according to author Robert Emmons. At the core of the teachings of Islam is the idea that to be happy or content we must be grateful to God, not just for what we perceive to be blessings but for all circumstances. Whatever condition we find ourselves in we are grateful and sure that it is good for us as long as we are following the teachings of God. God said:

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“Therefore, remember Me (God) and I will remember you, and be grateful to Me (for My countless Favours on you) and never be ungrateful to Me.” (Quran 2:152) And (remember) when God proclaimed: ‘If you are grateful I will give you more (of My Blessings); but if you are ungrateful verily, My punishment is indeed severe.’ (Quran 14:7) 6. Give it away, give it away now! Make altruism, and giving in charity, part of your life, and be resolute about it. Researcher Stephen Post says helping a neighbour, volunteering, or donating goods and services results in a “helper’s high,” and you get more health benefits than you would from exercise or quitting smoking. Islam encourages people to be generous towards family, friends, neighbours, strangers and even enemies. This is mentioned repeatedly throughout the Quran and the authentic traditions of Prophet Muhammad. “Say: “Truly, my Lord blesses the provision for whom He wills of His slaves, and also restricts it for him, and whatsoever you spend of anything (in God’s Cause), He will replace it. And He is the Best of providers.” (Quran 34:39) The people came to the Prophet Muhammad, and asked, “If someone has nothing to give, what will he do?” He said, “He should work with his hands and benefit himself and also give in charity (from what he earns).” The people further asked, “If he cannot find even that?” He replied, “He should help the needy who appeal for help.” Then the people asked, “If he cannot do that?” He replied, “Then he should perform good deeds and keep away from evil deeds and this will be regarded as a charitable deed.” 7. Put money low on your list of priorities. People who put money high on their priority list are more at risk for depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, according to researchers Tim Kasser and Richard Ryan. God’s messenger said, “Be happy, and hope for what will please you. By God, I am not afraid that you 97


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will be poor, but I fear that worldly wealth will be bestowed upon you as it was bestowed upon those who lived before you. So you will compete amongst yourselves for it, as they competed for it and it will destroy you as it did them.” Happiness is not only intense joy, it also involves contentment. In the next article we will examine the role of happiness in Islam and discover that following the commandments of God is the path to righteousness, contentment and happiness. The True Happiness Is Found In Sincere Worship Islam is the religion that is more than a religion; it is the religion that is a complete way of life. Nothing is too small or too big to be covered by the teachings of Islam. Rejoice and be happy, remain positive and be at peace. This is what Islam teaches us, through the Quran and the authentic teachings of Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him. Every single one of God’s commandments aims to bring happiness to the individual. This applies in all aspects of life, worship, economics, and society. “Whoever works righteousness - whether male or female - while he (or she) is a true believer verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter).” (Quran 16:97) As most of us have come to realise, happiness is that ethereal quality that encompasses contentment and peacefulness; it is the soft joy that causes our lips, faces and hearts to smile. It is determined by faith in God and obedience to Him. Thus happiness embodies the peace security and submission that is Islam. The injunctions and regulations of Islam reinforce the happiness that comes from knowing God and they help to guarantee humankind’s happiness during life in this world. However, Islam also emphasizes that the life of this world is nothing more than a means of attaining the Hereafter. By following the guidelines of Islam it is possible to be happy while awaiting our eternal happiness.

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Sometimes, in order to achieve happiness, people attempt to follow complicated paths; they fail to see the easier path that is Islam. Happiness can be found in the solace that comes from being upon the truth. It can be achieved by sincere worship, hastening to do virtuous, noble and beautiful deeds, and by performing acts of kindness or giving charity. These things all have the potential to make us happy, every day, under any circumstances. Even giving the smallest charity, in order to please God, can bring a smile to your face and a feeling of joy to your heart. “And the likeness of those who spend their wealth seeking God’s pleasure while they are sure and certain that God will reward them (for their spending in His Cause), is the likeness of a garden on a height; heavy rain falls on it and it doubles its yield of harvest. And if it does not receive heavy rain, light rain suffices it.” (Quran 2:265) Prophet Muhammad said, “Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer! They are all for his benefit. If he is granted ease then he is thankful, and this is good for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres, and this is good for him.” The nature of the human condition means that amongst the happiness there may be great sorrow and within the pain and despair there may be great joy. A believer will accept God’s decree for him and lead a happy life free from total despair or unbearable pain. Islam has the answer to all the problems that afflict humankind, and knowing this leads to happiness, because it allows us to look beyond the need for self-gratification, and the need to acquire possessions. Following the teaching of Islam and striving to please God is a constant reminder that this life is but a transient pause on the way to life everlasting. “But whosoever turns away from My Reminder (i.e. neither believes in this Qur’an nor acts on its teachings) verily, for him is a life of hardship, and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Resurrection.” (Quran 20: 124)

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God says in the Quran, “Verily! I am Allah! None has the right to be worshipped but I, so worship Me.” (20:14). The key to happiness is knowing and worshipping God. When one worships and remembers the Creator as He should be worshipped and remembered, happiness can be observed all around us, at any given moment and even on the darkest night. It is there in the smile of a child, in the touch of a comforting hand, in the rain on parched earth, or in the smell of spring. These things can make our hearts truly happy because they are manifestations of God’s mercy and love. Happiness can be found in worship. To find true happiness we must seek to know God, especially through His names and attributes. Seeking beneficial knowledge brings happiness. The angels flutter their wings and keep records of those who seek knowledge; the mere thought of this brings a smile of happiness to the face of a believer. Our righteous predecessors understood the inherent happiness and joy to be found in striving to be close to God. Outstanding Islamic scholar Ibn Taymiyyah, may God have mercy on him, once said, “I once became ill and the physician told me that reading and giving talks on knowledge would only exacerbate my condition. I told him that I could not abandon these pursuits. I asked him whether the body becomes stronger and sickness is repelled if the soul feels happy and joyful. He replied in the affirmative, so I said my soul finds joy, comfort and strength in knowledge”. Perfect happiness will only be available to us if we spend life everlasting in Paradise. It is only there that we will find total peace, tranquillity and security. It is only there that we will be free of the fear, anxiety and pain that are part of the human condition. However the guidelines provided by Islam allow us, imperfect humans, to seek happiness in this world. The key to being happy in this world and the next is seeking the pleasure of God, and worshipping Him, without associating partners with Him.

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And of them there are some who say: “Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire!� (Quran 2:201)

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Chapter 11. The Smile of Prophet Muhammad SAW Islam is more than a religion it is an entire way of life. It teaches us how to behave from morning until night and it even tells us the best position to sleep in. To some that might sound like 24 hours a day of rules and regulations but the truth is that Islam is such a natural way of life the rules become as easy as breathing. One thing that is as easy as breathing is smiling. That little curve of the mouth and wrinkling of the eyes that makes not only you but those around you feel good. A smile lightens the load and frees the spirit. Try it! See don’t you feel lighter and happier? Prophet Muhammad smiled, often and with real joy. In fact he smiled so regularly that his smile and kind demeanour are mentioned time and time again in anecdotes and stories from his traditions. Abdullaah ibn Haarith said, “I never came across a person who smiled as much as Prophet Muhammad. Prophet Muhammad regarded smiling to a brother as an act of charity.” Jarir ibn Abdullah said, “The Messenger of God never refused me permission to see him since I embraced Islam and never looked at me except with a smile (on his face).” When one of Prophet Muhammad’s companions was asked if he sat with the Prophet he replied, “Yes, very often. He (the Prophet) used to sit at the place where he observed the morning or dawn prayer till the sun rose or when it had risen; he would stand, and they (his Companions) would talk about matters (pertaining to the days) of ignorance, and they would laugh (on these matters) while (the Prophet) only smiled.” One of the companions of Prophet Muhammad talks about his relationship with the Prophet when he (the companion) was a young boy. Anas said, “The Messenger of God was one of the best men in character. One day he sent me to do something, and I said: I swear by God that I will not go. But in my heart I felt that I should go to do what the Messenger of God had commanded me; so I went out and came upon boys playing in the street. All of a sudden the 103


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Messenger of God, who had come from behind, caught me by the back of the neck, and when I looked at him he was laughing. ….” Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, had a kind and gentle nature. His beloved wife Aisha described his character as the Quran, meaning that Prophet Muhammad lived by the teachings of the Quran. Thus the behaviour and personality of Prophet Muhammad are the best examples for us to follow in our own lives. A companion who spent more than 10 years with Prophet Muhammad said, “Throughout my stay with him I never heard an indecent word from his lips and never found him rude to anyone. He spoke very politely. He was kind to everyone”. The Prophet’s natural disposition led him to smile and laugh along with the people around him. Consequently if the Prophet smiled, it must innately be something good for both ourselves and the people around us. Islam was designed by the Creator to be the perfect way of life for humankind thus sometimes the smallest of things can have a big impact. A smile is one of those things. Therefore not surprisingly smiling has many many positive effects. Smiling is viewed across cultures as a sign of friendliness and it is a natural response that shares our happiness with others. Smiling lowers the heart rate and temporarily reduces blood pressure. It reduces stress by releasing endorphins that naturally diminish stress hormones simultaneously putting you in a better mood. Endorphins also lessen pain. Smiling and laughter therefore are useful aids in health care. Still in the area of health, smiling boosts the immune system by relaxing the body and allowing the immune system to react more quickly and effectively to invaders. Smiling has also been shown to increase productivity. It also makes us look younger and according to at least one study smiling aids longevity possibly extending our lives up to seven years. All this and smiling is contagious, therefore as you are gaining all these benefits you are spreading them around to all those who see you smiling and smile back.

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Prophet Muhammad was often described as kind and generous and his generosity included smiling at those around him. We know from scientific evidence just how powerful a smile can be. In the early days of Islam there were no articles or books to read. The companions emulated their dear friend and Prophet knowing that his way of acting on every matter was the way approved of by God. Did they realise just how beneficial smiling was, almost certainly not, but I am sure happiness washed over them and improved their health and demeanour every time Prophet Muhammad smiled at them. Prophet Muhammad helped the needy and the poor and went to the houses of the sick to enquire after their health and whenever he met or passed by anyone he said “Assalam Alaikum” with a smile upon his face. Before we all go out with renewed vigour for smiling and laughing with friends and family there are just a few small points to remember. Islam is the middle way, we are a nation that should be known for our moderation, thus laughing and joking relentlessly is not the best way to behave. Remember that although Prophet Muhammad laughed and joked with his family and companions even giving them friendly nicknames he always behaved sensibly with fine moral principles. He never joked in a way that hurt someone’s feelings or joked about things that were not true. In fact he was heard to say “woe to the one who speaks and lies in order to make people laugh; woe to him, woe to him.” Smile – it is worth more than you know.

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Chapter 12. The Mercy of Allah SWT (God) In Islam If someone were to ask, ‘Who is your God?’ A Muslim response would be, ‘The Most-Merciful, the Dispenser of Mercy.’ According to Islamic sources, the prophets, while emphasizing God’s judgment, also proclaimed His mercy. In Muslim scripture, God introduces Himself as: "He is God, other than whom there is no deity, Knower of the unseen and the witnessed. He is the Most-Merciful, the Dispenser of Mercy." (Quran 59:22) In Islamic vocabulary ar-Rahman and al-Raheem are the personal names of the Living God. Both are derived from the noun rahmah, which signifies "mercy", "compassion", and "loving tenderness". ArRahman describes God’s nature of being All-Merciful, while arRaheem describes His acts of mercy dispensed to His creation, a subtle difference, but one which shows His all encompassing mercy. "Say, ‘Call upon God or call upon the Most-Merciful (ar-Rahman), whichever name you call – to Him belong the most Beautiful Names….’" (Quran 17:110) These two Names are some of the most frequently used Names of God in the Quran: ar-Rahman is used fifty seven times, while alRaheem is used twice as much (a hundred and fourteen). One conveys a greater sense of loving-kindness, the Prophet said: "Indeed, God is Kind, and loves kindness. He grants with kindness what He does not grant with harshness." (Saheeh Muslim) Both are also divine attributes signifying God’s relationship with creation. "Praise be to God, the Lord of All the Worlds; the Most Merciful, the Dispenser of Mercy." (Quran 1:2-3) In a prayer which Muslims recite at least seventeen times a day, they start with saying:

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"In the Name of God, the Most Merciful, the Dispenser of Mercy. Praise be to God, the Lord of All the Worlds; the Most Merciful, the Dispenser of Mercy." (Quran 1:1-3) These powerful words evoke a divine response: "When the servant says: ‘Praise be to God, the Lord of All the Worlds,’ I (God) say: ‘My servant has praised Me.’ When he says: ‘the Most Merciful, the Dispenser of Mercy,’ I (God) say: ‘My servant has extolled Me.’" (Saheeh Muslim) These names continuously remind a Muslim of divine mercy surrounding him. All but one of the chapters of Muslim scripture begins with the phrase, ‘In the Name of God, the Most-Merciful, the Dispenser of Mercy.’ Muslims begin in God’s Name to express their ultimate dependence upon Him and remind themselves of divine mercy every time they eat, drink, write a letter, or perform anything of importance. Spirituality blossoms in the mundane. The invocation at the beginning of every mundane act makes it important, calling down divine blessing upon this act and consecrates it. The formula is a popular motif of decoration in manuscripts and architectural ornamentation. Dispensing mercy requires someone to whom mercy is shown. The one who is shown mercy must be in need of it. Perfect mercy is caring for those in need, whereas boundless mercy stretches to those in need or not in need, extending from this world to the wonderful life after death. In Islamic doctrine, human beings enjoy a personal relationship with the Loving, Merciful God, ever ready to forgive sins and respond to prayers, but He is not merciful in the human sense of feeling sorrow and pity for one in distress. God does not become human to understand suffering. Rather, God’s mercy is an attribute befitting His holiness, bringing divine aid and favors. God’s mercy is vast: "Say: ‘Limitless is your Lord in His mercy….’" (Quran 6:147) Stretching to all existence: 108


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"…but My mercy encompasses all things…." (Quran 7:156) Creation itself is an expression of divine favor, mercy and love. God invites us to observe the effects of His mercy around us: "Behold, then, (O man,) these signs of God’s mercy - how He gives life to the earth after it had been lifeless!..." (Quran 30:50) God Loves the Compassionate God loves compassion. Muslims view Islam to be a religion of mercy. To them, their Prophet is God’s gift of mercy to all humanity: "And (thus, O Prophet) We have sent you as [an evidence of Our] mercy towards all the worlds." (Quran 21:107) Just as they believe Jesus was God’s mercy to people: "And that We may make him a symbol unto mankind and an act of mercy from Us." (Quran 19:21) One of the daughters of Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, sent him the news of his ailing son. He reminded her that God is the One who gives, He is the One who takes, and everyone has an appointed term. He reminded her to be patient. When the news of his son’s death reached him, tears of compassion ran in his eyes. His companions were surprised. The Prophet of Mercy said: "This is compassion God has placed in the hearts of His servants. Of all His slaves, God only has mercy on the compassionate." (Saheeh Al-Bukhari) Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy, as Prophet Muhammad said: "God will not have mercy on one who is not compassionate towards people." (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)

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He also said: "The Merciful shows mercy to those merciful. Have mercy to those on earth, and the One above the heavens will have mercy upon you." (At-Tirmidhi) Divine mercy wraps all existence in its fold, forever enduring. The caring Lord of mankind is merciful to them, full of compassion. The name of God, Ar-Rahman, suggests His loving mercy is a defining aspect of His being; the fullness of His compassion is limitless; a bottomless ocean with no shores. Ar-Razi, one of the classical Islamic scholars wrote, ‘It is unimaginable for creation to be more merciful to itself than God!’ Indeed Islam teaches that God is more merciful to a human being than his/her own mother. In God’s abounding mercy, He sends down rain to produce fruits from orchards to provide for the human body. The soul as well needs intense spiritual nourishment the same way the body needs food. In His abounding mercy, God sent prophets and messengers to human beings and revealed scriptures to them to sustain the human spirit. Divine Mercy displayed itself in the Torah of Moses: "…In the writing whereof there was guidance and mercy for all who stood in awe of their Lord." (Quran 7:154) And the revelation of the Quran: "…This [revelation] is a means of insight from your Lord, and to provide guidance and, mercy unto people who will believe." (Quran 7:203) Mercy is not granted to some merit of one’s ancestors. Divine Mercy is granted for acting on the Word of God and listening to its recitation: "And this (Quran) is a Book which We have bestowed from on high, a blessed one: follow it, then, and be conscious of God, so that you might be graced with His mercy." (Quran 6:155) "Hence, when the Quran is recited, listen to it, and listen in silence, so that you might be graced with [God’s] mercy." (Quran 7:204) 110


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Mercy is a result of obedience: "Hence, (O believers!) be constant in prayer, and render the purifying dues, and obey the Messenger, so that you might be graced with God’s mercy." (Quran 24:56) God’s mercy is man’s hope. Consequently, the believers beseech God for His mercy: "Affliction has befallen me: but You are the most merciful of the merciful!" (Quran 21:83) They beseech God’s mercy for the faithful: "O our Lord!, let not our hearts swerve from the truth after You have guided us; and bestow on us the gift of Your mercy: verily, You are the [true] Giver of Gifts." (Quran 3:8) And they beseech God’s mercy for their parents: "…O my Lord!, Bestow Your mercy upon them, even as they brought me when I was a child!" (Quran 17:24) Allotment of Divine Mercy Divine mercy clasps in its arms the faithful and the faithless, the obedient and the rebel, but in the life to come it will be reserved for the faithful. Ar-Rahman is merciful to all creation in the world, but his mercy is reserved for the faithful in the life to come. Ar-Raheem will dispense His mercy to the faithful on Judgment Day: "…With My chastisement do I afflict whom I will - but My Mercy overspreads everything: and so I shall confer it on those who fear Me and spend in charity, and who believe in Our messages - those who shall follow the [last] Messenger, the unlettered Prophet whom they find described in the Torah that is with them, and in the Gospel…." (Quran 7:156-157) Divine allotment of mercy is described by the Prophet of Islam: "God created a hundred portions of mercy. He placed one portion between His creation due to which they have compassion on each 111


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other. God has stored the remaining ninety nine portions for Judgment Day to grace His slaves." (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim, Al-Tirmidhi, and others.) A mere portion of divine mercy fills the heavens and the earth, humans love one another, beasts and birds drink water. Also, the divine mercy which will be manifested on Judgment Day is vaster than what we see in this life, just as divine punishment will be more intense than what we experience here. The Prophet of Islam explained the dual extreme of these divine attributes: "If a believer were to know what punishment God has stored, he will despair and not a single one will anticipate making it to Paradise. If an unbeliever were to know the abounding mercy of God, not a single one will despair to make it to Paradise." (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim, Al-Tirmidhi) Yet, in Islamic doctrine, divine mercy supersedes divine anger: "Indeed, My mercy supersedes my punishment." (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim) The Sinner God’s mercy is intimately close to everyone of us, awaiting to embrace when we are ready. Islam recognizes human propensity to sin, for God has created man weak. The Prophet stated: "All the children of Adam constantly err…" At the same time, God lets us know He forgives sins. Continuing the same hadeeth: "…but the best of those who constantly err are those who constantly repent." (Al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Ahmad, Hakim) God says: "Say, ‘O My servants, who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of God: for God forgives all sins, for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most-Merciful.’" (Quran 39:53) 112


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Muhammad, the Prophet of Mercy, was charged to convey the good news to all people: "Tell My servants that I am indeed the Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Quran 15:49) Repentance attracts Divine Mercy: "…Why do you not, rather, ask God to forgive you your sins, so that you might be graced with His mercy?" (Quran 27:46) "…God’s mercy is ever near unto the doers of good!" (Quran 7:56) Since ancient times, God’s saving mercy has rescued the faithful from pending doom: "And so, when Our judgment came to pass, by Our mercy We saved Hud and those who shared his faith…." (Quran 11:58) "And so, when Our judgment came to pass, by Our mercy We saved Shu’ayb and those who shared his faith…." (Quran 11:94) Fullness of God’s compassion towards the sinner can be seen in the following: 1. God Accepts Repentance "God does wish to turn to you, but the wish of those who follow their lusts is that you should turn away (from Him), -far, far away." (Quran 4:27) "Know they not that God accepts repentance from His votaries, and receives their gifts of charity, and that God is indeed He, the OftForgiving, Most-Merciful." (Quran 9:104) 2. God Loves The Sinner Who Repents "…For God loves those who turn to Him constantly…." (Quran 2:22) The Prophet said: "If mankind were not to commit sins, God would create other creatures who would commit sins, then He would forgive them, for 113


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He is Oft-Forgiving, Most-Merciful." (Al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Musnad Ahmed) 3. God is Delighted When the Sinner Repents Because He Realizes He Has a Lord Who Forgives Sins! The Prophet said: "God is more delighted with the repentance of His slave when he repents, than any of you would be if (he found his) camel, which he had been riding in a barren desert, after it had escaped from him carrying his food and drink. After he despaired of it, he came to a tree and laid down in its shade. Then while he was despairing of it, the camel came and stood by his side, and he seized its reins and cried out in joy, ‘O God, You are my servant and I am your Lord!’ – making this mistake (in wording) out of his excessive joy." (Saheeh Muslim) 4. Gate of Repentance is Open Day and Night Divine mercy extends forgiveness every day and every night of the year. The Prophet said: "God extends His Hand at night to accept the repentance of one who has sinned during the day, and He extends His Hand during the day to accept the repentance of one who has sinned during the night – until [the day comes when] the sun rises from the West (one of the major signs of the Day of Judgment)." (Saheeh Muslim) 5. God Accepts Repentance Even If Sins Are Repeated Repeatedly God shows His compassion to the sinner. God’s lovingkindness to the Children of Israel can be seen before the sin of the golden calf had been committed, God dealt with Israel according to His compassion, even after their sinning, He dealt with them in mercy. Ar-Rahman says: "…and when We appointed for Moses forty nights [on Mount Sinai], and in his absence you took to worshipping the [golden] calf, and thus became evildoers: yet, even after that, We blotted out this your sin, so that you might have cause to be grateful." (Quran 2:51-52) 114


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The Prophet said: "A man committed a sin, and then said, ‘O my Lord, forgive my sin,’ so God said, ‘My slave has sinned, then he realized that he has a Lord who can forgive sins and can punish him for it.’ Then the man repeated the sin, then said, ‘O my Lord, forgive my sin.’ God said, ‘My slave has sinned, then he realized that he has a Lord who can forgive sins and can punish him for it.’ The man repeated the sin (the third time), then he said, ‘O my Lord, forgive my sin,’ and God said, ‘My slave has sinned, then he realized that he has a Lord who can forgive sins and can punish him for it. Do what you wish, for I have forgiven you.’" (Saheeh Muslim) 6. Entering Islam Erases All Previous Sins The Prophet has explained that accepting Islam wipes off all previous sins of the new Muslim, no matter how serious they were with one condition: the new Muslim accepts Islam purely for God. Some people asked God’s Messenger, ‘O Messenger of God! Will we be held responsible for what we did during the days of ignorance before accepting Islam?’ He replied: "Whoever accepts Islam purely for God will not be held to account, but one who does so for some other reason will be accountable for the time before Islam and after." (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim) Although God’s mercy is sufficient to cover any sin, it does not free man from his responsibility to behave rightly. Discipline and hard work is required along the path to salvation. The Law of Salvation in Islam takes into account faith and keeping to the Law, not mere belief in God. We are imperfect and weak and God created us this way. When we fall short in keeping to the sacred Law, the Loving God is ready to forgive. Forgiveness is received simply through confessing one’s sins to God alone and begging of His mercy, having a firm intention not to return to it.. But one should always remember that Paradise is not earned by virtue of one’s deeds alone, but is awarded by divine mercy. The Prophet of Mercy made this fact clear: 115


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"Not one of you will enter Paradise by his deeds alone.’ They asked, ‘Not even you, O Messenger of God?’ He said, ‘Not even me, unless God covers me with His grace and mercy." (Saheeh Muslim) Belief in God, keeping to His Law, and good works, are considered the reason, not the price for admission into Paradise.

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Epilog Remembrance of God leads to peace and happiness in this life One must understand this world in the context of Monotheism (Belief in the Oneness of God). The message of the prophets is simple: People were created to worship God alone. The God of Islam is a Loving Beloved God (al-Wadud), a Compassionate God (ar-Rahman), a personal God who showers those who adhere to His way in life with love (al-Wali), intimate relationship with whom is based on surrender, remembrance, yearning, and polishing of the heart. God does not need our praises and worship. He is the Creator of the heavens and the earth, the Sovereign, and the Sustainer of everything in the whole universe. Certainly some people remembering Him on a lonely planet in an endless vast expanse of space filled with billions of galaxies is not going to benefit Him in any way, nor will it increase His Kingdom even by an atom’s weight. Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy of God be upon him, narrates the following on behalf of God: "O My slaves, I have forbidden oppression for Myself and have made it forbidden amongst you, so do not oppress one another.... O My slaves, you will not harm Me nor will you benefit Me. O My slaves, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as pious as the most pious heart of any one man of you, that would not increase My kingdom in anything. O My slaves, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as wicked as the most wicked heart of any one man of you, that would not decrease My kingdom in anything...." God has prescribed His remembrance (known as dhikr) and other acts of worship for our own benefit. All forms of remembrance and worship, serve to remind us of God and keep us always mindful of Him. And this consciousness of God, holds us from sinning, committing injustices and oppression, and motivates us to fulfill His rights and the rights of creation. And hence by following the ways laid out for us by God, we are actually doing ourselves a favor, as it 117


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is the best possible course of action that we can take in any matter and to know that you are doing the right thing leads to contentment, peace, and happiness. As mankind is prone to laziness and injustice, not having any set ways to remember or worship God, would make us heedless and sink us deeper and deeper into transgression and darkness until we would forget about God completely, and our roles and responsibilities in life. "Woe to those whose hearts are hardened against the remembrance of God!" (Quran 39:22) "O you who have faith! Let not your possessions, neither your children, divert you from God’s remembrance. Whoso does that they are the losers." (Quran 63:9) Dhikr is divided into two branches: dhikr with the tongue and dhikr in the heart when the heart contemplates God’s beauty and majesty. Just as forgetting God leads to the pain of being forgotten by Him, so also remembering God leads to the joy of being remembered by Him: "Remember Me, and I will remember you" (Quran 2:152). The result of remembering God is not only to be remembered by God in the next world, but also to achieve peace of heart in this world. "Listen, the hearts find peace only in the remembrance of God." (Quran 13:28). To call upon God in times of despair, can give you comfort and solace as you have called upon the one Who is All-Powerful and is the only One who can take you out of difficulty. Dhikr or remembrance of God is a way of linking the heart with the Divine. It provides with the spiritual practices of remembering and re-connecting with what is most meaningful in our lives, God. Muslims find consolation, comfort and strength in the frequent repetition of sacred phrases containing the Names of God and His attributes. Sought in the proper way, dhikr is food for spiritual hunger.

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Dhikr is a step in the way of love; when somebody loves someone, he likes to repeat his name and constantly remember him. Therefore, the heart in which the love of God has been implanted will become a dwelling place of constant dhikr. Dhikr is also recommended to the faithful as a means of obtaining heavenly reward. It is considered worship and adds to one’s good deeds. The particularly attractive aspect of dhikr is that it is permitted in any place and at any time; its practice is restricted neither to the exact hours of Prayers (the ritual prayer) nor to a specific place. God can be remembered anywhere. This practice is as available to women as it is to men. Special words of dhikr are used for healing purposes as well. Even today the recitation of some prayers taught by Prophet Muhammad and verses from the Holy Quran are used to cure the sick. The Quran mentions the significance of dhikr both directly and indirectly in verses scattered throughout the Quran, "the dhikr (remembrance, mindfulness) of God is greater" or "the greatest thing." The most superior form of God’s remembrance is the Quran which calls itself Al-Dhikr, "the Reminder" (Quran 20:99); therefore, another name of the Quran is Dhikr-ullah, "the Remembrance of God." One, it is a recognition that to recite the Quran is to remember God. Two, the first chapter of the Quran, Al-Fatiha, is the central part of Muslim daily prayers. Not only that, it is also an essence of Quran’s message. Three, the Quran comes from God (it is His Word) and provides the means and the methods of living a life that is pleasing to Him. Dhikr is all embracing because to remember God is to put God at the center and everything else at the periphery. All Islamic acts of devotion and worship are performed for the sake of remembrance, to keep God at the center of spiritual life in a way. The Quran calls the ritual prayer (salah) itself "remembrance." After the Quran, there is a 119


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type of Remembrance of God (dhikr) which is sort of a voluntary extension of the ritual prayer (salah). Next to the Quran, the best dhikr, the words God loves the most, is the profession of faith la ilaha illa Allah (there is no true god worthy of worship but Allah), as well as words the words Subhan-Allah (Far removed is God from every imperfection), Allahu-Akbar (God is the Greatest), and al-Hamdu-lillah (All praise and thanks are due to Allah). Islam teaches us that salvation is attainable through the worship of God alone. A person must believe in God and follow His commandments. This is the same message taught by all the Prophets including Moses and Jesus. There is only One worthy of worship. One God, alone without partners, sons, or daughters. Salvation and thus eternal happiness can be achieved by sincere worship. In addition to this Islam teaches us that human beings are born without sin and are naturally inclined to worship God alone (without any intermediaries). To retain this state of sinlessness humankind must only follow God’s commandments and strive to live a righteous life. If one falls into sin, all that is required is sincere repentance followed by seeking God’s forgiveness. When a person sins he or she pushes themselves away from the mercy of God, however sincere repentance brings a person back to God. Salvation is a powerful word that the dictionary defines as the act of preservation or deliverance from destruction, difficulty, or evil. Theologically it is spiritual rescue from sin and its consequences. More specifically, in Christianity it is associated with redemption and the atonement of Jesus. Salvation in Islam is a very different concept. While it does offer deliverance from the fires of hell, it also rejects some of the basic principles of Christianity and states clearly that salvation is attained only through submission to the most merciful, God. “Those who remember God (always, and in prayers) standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and think deeply about the creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying), "Our Lord! You 120


How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to You! (Exalted are You above all that they associate with You as partners). Give us salvation from the torment of the Fire.” (Quran 3:191) According to Christian doctrine, humankind is considered wayward and sinful. The doctrine of original sin states that humankind is born already tainted by the sin of Adam and therefore separated from God, and in need of a redeemer. Islam on the other hand out rightly rejects the Christian concept of original sin and the notion that humankind is born sinful. The idea that innocent babies or children are sinful sounds completely absurd to a believer who knows that Islam is about original forgiveness not original sin. Humankind, according to Islam is born in a state of purity, without sin and naturally inclined to worship and praise God. However, human beings are also given freewill and are thus capable of making mistakes and committing sins; they are even capable of committing great evil. Whenever a person commits a sin, he alone is responsible for that sin. Every person is responsible for his or her own actions. Consequently, no human being who has ever lived is responsible for the mistakes made by Adam and Eve. God says in the Quran: “And no bearer of burdens shall bear another’s burden.” (Quran 35:18) Adam and Eve made a mistake, they repented sincerely, and God in His infinite wisdom forgave them. Humankind is not doomed to be punished, generation after generation. The sins of the father are not visited upon the sons. “Then they both ate of that tree, and so their private parts appeared to them, and they began to stick on themselves the leaves from Paradise for their covering. Thus did Adam disobey his Lord, so he went astray. Then his Lord chose him, and turned to him with forgiveness and gave him guidance.” (Quran 20:121-122) Above all Islam teaches us that God is the most forgiving, and will go on forgiving, repeatedly. Part of being human is making 121


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mistakes. Sometimes the mistakes are made without deliberation or a bad intention, but sometimes we knowingly and deliberately sin and do wrong to others. Therefore as human beings, we are constantly in need of forgiveness. The life of this world is fraught with trials and tribulations, however God did not abandon humankind to theses tests. God equipped humankind with an intellect and the ability to make choices and decisions. God also gave us words of guidance. As our creator, He is well aware of our nature and eager to guide us on the straight path that leads to eternal bliss. The Quran is God’s final revelation and it is applicable for all of humankind; all people, all places, all times. Throughout the Quran God continually asks us to turn to Him in repentance and ask for His forgiveness. This is the road to salvation. This is our rescue from destruction. “And whoever does evil or wrongs himself but afterwards seeks God's forgiveness, he will find God Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Quran 4:10) “And O my people! Ask forgiveness of your Lord and then repent to Him, He will send you (from the sky) abundant rain, and add strength to your strength, so do not turn away as criminals, disbelievers in the Oneness of God.” (Quran 11:52) “Say: ‘O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of God, indeed God forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.’” (Quran 39:53) The Noble Quran is not only a book of guidance, it is a book of hope. In it God’s love, mercy, and forgiveness are obvious and thus humankind is reminded not to give in to despair. No matter what sins a person may have committed if he resolutely turns to God, seeking forgiveness his salvation is assured.

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How to Deal with Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief & Sadness from Islamic Perspective

About Author Muhammad Vandestra has been a columnist, health writer, soil scientist, magazine editor, web designer & kendo martial arts instructor. A writer by day and reader by night, he write fiction and non-fiction book for adult and children. He lives in West Jakarta City. Muhammad Vandestra merupakan seorang kolumnis, editor majalah, perancang web & instruktur beladiri kendo. Seorang penulis pada siang hari dan pembaca di malam hari, Ia menulis buku fiksi dan non-fiksi untuk anak-anak dan dewasa. Sekarang ia menetap dan tinggal di Kota Jakarta Barat. Blog https://www.vandestra.blogspot.com/

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