8 minute read
SAMAR CIPRIAN
As a women’s health provider, my work centers around reorienting women back to the wisdom in their own bodies - through bodywork, movement, ceremony and community. This process has taught me so much about the feminine and the lack of its presence in our largely mechanized world. What begins as a soft opening inside a single woman ripples out in all directions to start to bring individuals, families, groups and communities towards a way of being that can listen to the unknown knowing, and measure productivity by how much we were able to open and hold, not just produce and sell. As we look upon a world ravaged by climate change and our colossal obsession with productivity, this restoration of another way of being feels more important than ever.
Samar is an Arvigo® Therapist and Mayan Spiritual Healing practitioner of the same lineage, a Qoya teacher and teacher trainer and a Holistic Pelvic Care Provider. She is passionate the intersectionality of ecology, spirituality and a reverence for the human body. She offers immersive experiences around the world that invite others into this exploration.
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I never knew I could:
Be so creative in many different areas. Create a global magazine that is read around the world with hundreds of thousands of views, especially when I knew nothing about creating a magazine. Homeschool and love it Believe in me, trust my intuition and follow my heart in life & business Love so openly and freely Make love with my husband and it feels so transformational with each orgasm or that after 19 years our relationship could get better and better. Feel or know my potential to be able to create and live a life I love and gives back to the world Feel safe being a woman Be sensual and sexy Feel powerful in my femininity Be my true self Love myself
I NEVER KNEW I COULD DO ALL OF THIS UNTIL I DID.
LOOKING BACK, I NEVER KNEW I COULD RUN A BUSINESS SUCCESSFULLY LET ALONE FOUR. I NEVER KNEW I WAS CAPABLE OFF BEING A SENSUAL WOMAN, A LOVING AND PRESENT MOTHER OR FUN AND HEARTCENTRED BOSS.
Iwas for most of my life up until I was nearly thirty, stuck in a sort of societal spell, believing I could never be better than where I came from, which was a poor, abusive and addiction home. And because I was a female, I had rules and expectations to abide by so I would grow up being a ‘good’ girl to become a ‘good woman, employee, wife and mother.
Never shine too bright, be too loud, too happy, too sexy, too funny or too smart and on the list goes.
Stay in your box; do what a girl/ woman should do, and so I did. I found a man, got a good job, brought a house, got married and had kids. So shouldn’t I have felt something other than resentment, anger, guilt and sadness for my life? I seemed to have what every ‘good’ woman wanted, didn’t I? I did what was expected of me, so why was I so unhappy, and why did I feel ashamed to share my unhappiness with anyone else?
So, I suppressed my feelings and did the same thing day in, day out. That is until we brought our first business in 2013, which was the first significant change towards living a different life however it wasn’t until our youngest daughter Brooklyn
Attending and Speaking at Orenda Premiere with Michelle Dowd
arrived in 2014 that my change started to take place.
Brook was born with a dual-chamber kidney and two ureters, where one was plugged into the bladder incorrectly. This led to Brook having a severe kidney infection where she experienced fibril convulsions and stopped breathing. It was a traumatic experience that would forever impact me. Thankfully she recovered though from that moment on, I was a mess. Yet something deep within me had been awoken. Something that each woman has yet most likely has been ignored until circumstances ignites it awake. Some call it intuition, gut feeling or mother’s instinct. What also awoke in me is was I like to call mama lion energy.
I became fierce with my daughter and her health. I was ruthless and singleminded with what I was doing. I had never felt this fire or determination before; it led me to go against the doctors prescribed recommendations and medication and to seek out alternative and holistic professionals. I stood up against my husband, who was following what others were saying rather than finding out the truth for himself. I empowered myself with knowledge and would spend hundreds of hours researching ways to heal my daughter naturally.
I became so consumed with my daughter’s health and healing that others seemed to no longer exist outside of the bubble of Brook and I. That meant my husband and two other children where put on the sideline. I knew they were safe and well, though the guilt and shame still grew, I wasn’t being the ‘good’ wife or mother.
Even though I had this mama lion energy when it came to daughters healing journey, it was the everyday stress that took it’s toll. I was always anxious; I experienced panic attacks, Speaking at WEF India 2019 anxiety and on top of that postnatal Speaking at WEF India 2019 depression.
I lost weight, I hardly slept, and when I woke up it would be in a fright, and I would go straight to Brook and check her and her temperature in case she was getting another infection, which she was continually getting.
After 12 months and going through multiple modalities, Brook was on her way to good health. She had an operation at 12months old and she has never looked back.
It wasn’t until she was well that I fell apart. It was messy and hard. I was in a dark place, and for what seemed like the thousandth time, I was on the floor of my kitchen a mess of tears, fear, guilt and shame of the woman that I had become.
Then as it is with most breakdowns came the breakthrough that led
Nathan is my number #1 support and go to person.
me on a journey of self-love, selfdiscovery and self-empowerment. It wasn’t smooth sailing, and it felt that with as many steps forward I was making, there would be just as many sets backs.
I worked in our business, yet I needed more. I went back to work as a civil draftsperson, and that lasted all of two months. Nothing felt right, I had more to give and so I spiralled down again and something had to give.
Then after going to a conscious event, I started to truly see how women have unrealistic expectations to be the perfect woman, wife, and mother placed upon them. That many try to live up to unspoken expectations of how we should look and act and wear a mask (that being put on a happy facade) to hide the truth. In essence, to live a fake life for the sake of others comfortability.
That is when I deepened my healing and growth. I focused on healing the relationship with myself and my feminity. I started to believe what I felt inside and started living my truth which has and will be a continual journey and evolution.
Because I chose to take responsibility for my life, health, choices, actions and circumstances I have done and achieved things I never once thought possible.
Since 2015, I have started, stopped and changed multiple businesses. I am a certified wellness coach; I have multiple energy healing and teaching modalities under my belt. I have invested in my personal and professional development non-stop. I have created a range of affirmation activated skincare, as well as online courses, workshops, women’s events and even, travelled to different countries to speak.
Earlier this year I was engaged to be a facilitator at the Ultimate Girls Week Away (Created by Liesel Albrecht) with Elizabeth Gilbert and next year it will be alongside Gabrielle Berstein and Sark.
I have spoken on a panel with Lisa Messenger from Collective Hub. I was a guest speaker in the multi-award winning spiritual documentary Orenda. My dream of being a paid speaker is now my reality. I created this magazine. I opened a publishing house with the support of publishing veteran Ocean Reeve Publishing and have released my first co-author book. I help other businesses with business development, and I am opening my course on teaching other empowered women how to share their message on a bigger scale while leveraging and creating multiple income streams using the platform of digital Magazines. I am also working with a singing artist on getting the song that I wrote recorded. Who would have thought?!
My life is never dull, and even though it sounds like I am doing a lot, I have outsourced a lot too, so I find time to ride my horses, be out in nature, go away on holidays with my family or myself. I never knew life could be like this, and the only reason it changed was that I did.
