Practising Self-Care Benefits Your Children

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Research shows that mothers who don’t take care of themselves (i.e. no self-care or stress management) suffer far more emotional and physical symptoms of stress, becoming tired, irritable and more critical of their children.

It’s surprising how negative we are about ourselves. We berate ourselves when we’re not coping well with daily stressors, blaming ourselves when we’re impatient or get too angry and judging every bit of ‘performance’ in this tricky parenting journey. In this stressful lockdown time, practising positive self-talk and actively working on our mental health has become critical. Considering that our kids are learning a lot about self-esteem and self-care by watching us, it makes sense then to change these patterns, to watch our words about ourselves, give ourselves a break, and give ourselves permission to improve how we feel about ourselves. Because we are their main teacher, when we are coping well, feel happy and self-content, we set a great example for them to follow. When your children notice that you feel good about yourself and treat yourself with respect, it teaches them to like and care for themselves too.

Top tips to feel better

• Recognize your achievements – tell your kids what you’re good at - e.g. “Hey guys, I cooked a great supper tonight” - and keep finding ways to recognize what you are doing well. • Avoid criticizing yourself – try to speak positively about yourself - e.g. “Exercise is good for me, even when I’m lazy, so here I go!”. • Practice regular selfcare - take care of your health, set aside some time each week for fun things that you really enjoy like reading a book, learning a new skill, going for a walk or having a relaxing bath. • Spend time with friends (online) - who are positive and support you, rather than those that drain your energy and are constantly critical or negative. • Replace guilty feelings and perfectionism with ‘good enough’ – whenever we feel guilty that we’re not performing well, it takes its toll on our self-esteem. Learn to tell yourself that you are “good enough” (especially when you’re feeling guilty for taking time for much needed self-care).

Without intending it, there are many things that we do and say about ourselves that are influencing our kids. At the same time, there are many daily “building-up moments” which you can use to help improve how you feel and talk about yourself, which can make a great difference to them.

Remember there are tons of fun ways to care for yourself that will make you less stressed, improve your self-esteem and well-being, and make you a better parent, even in stressful times like these! Once you start feeling the benefits of taking good care of yourself, your self-esteem improves and you’ll be even more motivated to build your kids’ self-esteem.

Go ahead and make this your new moto: “when I am feeling good it helps my kids to feel good.” By investing in feeling good, everyone wins! Join psychologist Carol Surya every week for her free Parents Support Q&A sessions online - email info@raisingkidspositively.com for details.

Winter Warmer Recipes

Rich and Sim ple French Onion Sou p

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup unsalted butter • 2 tablespoons olive oil • 4 cups sliced onions • 4 (10.5 ounce) cans beef broth • 2 tablespoons dry sherry (optional) • 1 teaspoon dried thyme • salt and pepper to taste • 4 slices French bread • 4 slices provolone cheese • 2 slices Swiss cheese, diced • 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese Method: Melt butter with olive oil in a stock pot on medium heat. Add onions and continually stir until tender and translucent. Do not brown the onions. Add beef broth, sherry and thyme. Season with salt and pepper, and simmer for 30 minutes. Heat the oven broiler. Ladle soup into oven safe serving bowls and place one slice of bread on top of each (bread may be broken into pieces if you prefer). Layer each slice of bread with a slice of provolone, 1/2 slice diced Swiss and 1 tablespoon Parmesan cheese. Place bowls on cookie sheet and broil in the preheated oven until cheese bubbles and browns slightly. Source: www.allrecipes.com.

Crock Pot Bee f Ste w

Ingredients:

• 2 pounds beef chuck or stewing beef • 3 tablespoons flour • 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder • 3 tablespoons olive oil • 1 onion chopped • 1 cup vegetable juice/stock • 4 cups beef broth (you can substitute one of these cups with red wine if you prefer) • 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce • 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme or 2 sprigs fresh • 1 teaspoon dried rosemary or 1 sprig fresh • 3 cups potatoes peeled and cubed • 2 cups carrots cut into 1 inch pieces • 1 cup celery stalks cut into 1 inch pieces • 3/4 cup peas • 2 tablespoons corn starch • 2 tablespoons water

Instructions: Combine flour, garlic powder and salt and pepper to taste. Toss beef in flour mixture. Brown the beef and onions in olive oil in small batches. Add some of the broth/wine to the pan and scrape up any brown bits. Add all ingredients except peas and corn starch to a slow cooker. Cook on high for 4 to 5 hours or on low for 8 to 9 hours or until beef is tender. Mix corn starch with 2 tablespoons of water. Stir into the stew a little bit at a time to thicken (you may not need all of the mixture). Add peas. Cover and cook 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper and serve. Source: www.spendwithpennies.com.

This delicious bread from Pheka makes delicious toast and goes so well with a stew style meal.

Ingredients:

• 4 cups self -raising flour • 2 Tbsp sugar • 1/2 tsp salt • 2 eggs

Source: www.pheka.co.za.

Sweetco rn Bread

• 2 Tbsp sunflower oil • 3/4 cup (180ml) milk • 1 tin cream style sweetcorn • Grated Cheese • Fresh parsley Method

Preheat the oven to 170°C and place oven shelf in the middle. Mix the self-raising flour, sugar, salt and eggs together using a wooden spoon. Then add the oil, milk and sweetcorn. Add the grated cheese (keep a little aside to sprinkle on the top) and add the chopped parsley. Mix all together with the wooden spoon. Prepare a loaf tin with non-stick spray and place bread mixture into the tin. Sprinkle some grated cheese on the top.

Bake at 170°C for about one hour, or until a skewer comes out clean. Let the loaf rest in the tin for 10 minutes then loosen and turn out to cool slightly before slicing.

Best eaten fresh out the oven with butter!

Finding Joy in the Simple, Everyday Tasks

Gettin g you r ki ds to hel p aroun develo d the pment house aids in chil dhoo d

Carryn Martin, an occupational therapist with a special interest in sensory integration and child development, says that involving children in everyday tasks, such as household chores, meal preps and taking on more responsibility with the family pet, can be just as beneficial as playing together.

“From an occupational therapy perspective, involving children in a variety of household domestic tasks has huge benefits for skills development in children,” says Martin. “A child engaged in a variety of short, manageable and fun everyday tasks – independently and with parents – is able to grow cognitively, physically and emotionally.”

Bring back chore wheels – your kids will

Now that families are spending their thank you for it. time working, learning and playing from In a Braun Research poll of over 1 000 home, parents are juggling an overwhelming parents, when asked whether they assign amount of responsibility, and finding time household chores to their kids, just 28% of to engage in structured playtime with the today’s parents said they did, even though kids is more challenging than ever. But, while 82% said they had grown up doing chores playtime as a family is crucial for building themselves when they were young. strong family ties and developing a variety It’s not difficult to imagine why there’s of important skills in children, there are other such a discrepancy – kids’ schedules are ways that parents can achieve all of this busier than they used to be, parents may without adding any more stress to their day. have negative associations to “chores”, and

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on the other hand, it could be easier for parents to just do the chores themselves instead of nagging their kids.

However, kids who learn how to fit tasks into their days are more likely to improve their time management skills. It also teaches kids a measure of independence as they take pride in being able to accomplish various ‘grown-up’ activities by themselves, not to mention the likelihood that kids who learn to pitch in at home are more likely to develop that mind-set later on in life – like in the workplace.

Doing every day activities together is important, too.

While chores are helpful in teaching children independence, participating in everyday tasks with your child is just as important. Not only does it instil a sense of teamwork, but is also a great way to spend time together bonding as a family. This also teaches children social skills, like how to work together to accomplish a goal.

Martin says that children develop fine motor and bilateral skills by spending time in the kitchen – mixing cake batter, for instance, involves using both hands in a functional manner (one hand stabilizes the bowl while the other mixes).

“Mental and emotional care is just as important as physical care for children, especially during these times of uncertainty,” says Kristian Imhoff, Country Manager for LEGO South Africa.

“Playing together builds healthier, happier families, but the simple act of making a meal or folding laundry together has an impact on child and family wellbeing too.”

Parents are trying their best under the circumstances, and while they can’t add more hours to the day to spend exclusively on playtime with the kids, getting the whole family to roll up their sleeves and dive into everyday tasks at home has just as much of an impact on childhood development and bonding as a family.

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