The importance of playing with your child
Issue 159 | Pietermaritzburg & Midlands | April 2020 | Free
From The Editor’s Desk...
Things have certainly changed over the last month due to coronavirus!
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t feels like this pandemic has toppled our world upside down! Schools are closed, many employees are working from home – and we don’t know how long it will last. I count myself lucky, as I’ve mostly worked from home for a number of years, so I’m used to the chaos of working in a loud and chaotic environment, and have learned to tune it out. I’m also all set up for
it from a technical point of view. It hasn’t always been easy though, and when I first started working from home I had a tiny baby, and then later an active toddler – there were many times when I thought I was going to lose my mind. Working from home is NOT easy when you have kids, so I do feel for all the parents out there who are trying it for the first time! However, there are many great resources online to help you through this journey, like blogs with crafts and
activities like www.thingstodowithkids.co.za and educational resources and apps like Xander Apps and Skidz Educational Boxes, www.smart-kids.co.za and KidsbookClub.co.za. You can also find loads of recipes and science experiments for kids online – one of my favourite blogs is www.kidsactivityblog.com. Go check these out and let me know if you find some awesome new ideas - sharing is caring! Until next time, Sarah.
CONTENTS
Everyday Life 3 4 5 6
Money Saving Tips for Teens Meet the Cover Star Annual Mum’s Mail Ladies Breakfast Postponed Weight Loss Tips
Healthy Life/Beautiful Life 8 9 10
Dr Megan @ Home Health Awareness Month World Autism Awareness Day Win a Beautiful Fashion Hamper with Bling Creations
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Kids’ Life/EDUcated life 11 12 13 14 15
Easy Party Treats The Importance of Playing With Your Child Homework – To Help or Not? Party Game: Paper Bug Hunt Beat Holiday Boredom At Home
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The Mum’s Mail Team
Editor: Sarah Mackintosh • sarah@mumsmail.com • Enquiries: 031 - 714 4700 Accounts: meghan@mumsmail.com • Designer: Wendy Offer Advertising Sales: Bev Delew • bev@mumsmail.com | Anisha Singh • anisha@mumsmail.com Cover Photographer: Megan Hancock Photography, www.meganhancockphotography.co.za DISCLAIMER: Neither the Publisher, Printer or Editor can be held responsible for damages or consequences of any omissions or errors, as every care is taken to ensure the accuracy of the information in Mum’s Mail. We do not guarantee the performance or quality of service of any of the advertisers in this magazine. No part of Mum’s Mail magazine may be reproduced without the written consent of the Editor.
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Money Saving Tips for Teens Here are some saving tips from African Bank to ensure you always have money for the things you need and want. TRACK YOUR SPENDING Most teens use debit cards to purchase their goods and lose track of just how much they are spending. Keeping a record you can refer to often acts as a good handbrake and puts a check on unhealthy spending patterns before they become a problem. Find the tracking mechanism that works best for you. DEVELOP FINANCIAL DISCIPLINE All over the web, there are tons of tips telling you not to carry very much cash. It’s assumed that if you don’t have it, you won’t spend it. But the truth is you’ll actually spend more when you’re using your debit card or a credit card. Here’s what to do: - Decide how much cash is safe to carry in your wallet.
- When you want to buy something, ask yourself this question, “Can I do without it today?” If you can, don’t buy it. - If you’re saving up for a larger purchase, make sure you deposit money into your savings account on a regular basis so it can accumulate safely. TAKE YOUR OWN LUNCH Taking your own lunch from home is a lot healthier and a whole lot less expensive than spending it all at the tuck shop. Adults in financial trouble quickly admit that eating out is often their biggest mistake financially. If you start this money-saving habit now, you’ll be a lot less stressed later.
Source: African Bank and Creative Wealth International
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Meet the Cover Stars Our lovely cover stars this month are Alaia (4) and Farah (2) Fataar.
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heir parents are Joseph and Alisha. “Alaia is our extroverted, charming, larger-than-life four-year-old. She is the drama queen of the family and my husband thinks she’s got this from me!” laughs Alisha. “She loves singing, dancing, socialising, pretend play and loves fashion! She has been this way since she was a baby, always loved the camera! Alaia hates being dirty or messy - she reminds me that she needs wet wipes to clean her hands immediately if they get dirty! Alaia has done a number of photo shoots since birth and we are pleasantly surprised at how well she follows instructions, she does so with plays at school and similarly with ballet. She has been doing ballet since she was two years old! She excels at school with words, numbers, and currently is very into the Solar system and can educate you on the planets and what they’re made from!” “Farah is our loving, adorable and funny baby girl. She loves giving hugs and kisses, and since birth has always been so affectionate. We were surprised at how quickly she grasped certain concepts and suppose this was as a result
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of having an older sister who she learnt from. Farah loves singing, playing and dancing. She is a lot braver than her older sister in that she is not afraid to tackle the higher slides or bigger obstacles. Farah is very active and enjoys the outdoor life more. She loves swimming, baby yoga and more than anything loves play dates at baby gym! She is just as extroverted as her sister and they both love being around people. Farah is a busy body and hates being indoors, she dislikes meat and chicken and is a plant based baby. Farah is such a baby of routine and we have been lucky that she has stayed that way. She travels really well for a twoyear-old, and adapts so well
to new environments.” says the proud mom. “Our Mondays to Fridays are jam packed with work, nursery, school, activities and routine. On the weekends, we love having a huge family breakfast and then taking our kids outdoors to ride their bikes, have a picnic and just get as much fresh air as possible.” “What we love most is seeing the world through their eyes. Life can be stressful, but they always seem to make us laugh and appreciate the little things in life. I loved the bond created with my girls when I breastfed them, I’ve never felt anything like it. My husband is the best dad, always up for a little tea party with his girls!” says Alisha, “The advice we would give new parents is to be kind to yourself. Parenthood is NOT easy, your life changes in so many ways and it is so hard to adjust overnight. Be patient with yourself, it’s ok to not be perfect. No parent is. All you can do is try your best. All kids want are your time and your love, that’s what they will always remember. Most importantly - you should always put your marriage first...happy parents make happy kids!” conludes Alisha. By Sarah Mackintosh
Annual Mum’s Mail Ladies Breakfast Postponed At the time of going to print, President Ramaphosa had issued a temporary ban on gatherings/events of more than 100 people.
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s a result, the 7th Annual Mum’s Mail ‘Flower Power’ PMB Ladies Breakfast in association with The Sunflower Fund has been postponed until further notice. However, we ask that those who have already purchased tickets hold on to them for now, as they will still be valid when we announce a new date for the event. As this is a charity event, we are still looking for gift and prize sponsors. Ticket sales have been put on hold for the moment, and will reopen when we have more clarity on the situation and when we will be allowed to hold this event. The 7th Annual Mum’s Mail PMB Ladies breakfast in support of The Sunflower Fund is sponsored by Vitalab and
Maritzburg Arch Lifestyle Centre. The theme this year will be Flower Power - think 60s, bellbottoms, peace signs and hippies! Tickets cost R320 per person or R3 200 for a table of ten and include a two-course breakfast, decadent individual desserts by Chateau Gateaux, a B.O.N Natural Oils gift per lady, fabulous goodie bags, guest speakers, surprise treats and loads of exciting prize giveaways. All funds raised will go to the Sunflower Fund. To expose your brand through prize or goodie bag item sponsorship, please contact Mechelle Gindra on 083 328 2688 or e-mail mechelle@mumsmail.com. For more information visit www.sunflowerfund.org.
Follow the white rabbit to...
Cascades Wonderland 28 March 2020 | 10am - 3pm Cascades MTB Park
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Lots of fun games and activities | PS4 giveaway on the day!
Tickets: Kids - R20 | Adults - R25
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(Available at Cascades)
CascadesLifestyleCentre CascadesCentre
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Weight Loss Tips We’ve heard it all before; fad diets don’t work. Losing weight requires discipline and dedication; you need to exercise consistently and follow a healthy eating plan.
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f the thought of sweating it out on a treadmill, meticulous meal planning and then spending a day of your weekend purchasing healthy ingredients (and then cooking a week’s worth of healthy meals) makes you want to give it all up and embrace your bulges, read on. The following tips require little effort, can be applied to your daily routine and are not all that soul destroying. Order plain beverages I’m a sucker for caramel lattes. But ordering a cappuccino with froth instead of cream and forgoing the
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sugar will save you about 40 calories. A small and pretty effortless price to pay for a slimmer waist line. Snack attack Keep healthy foods close at hand for you to snack on. These should be easy to eat and things that you will enjoy. Think biltong, sugar free yoghurt, hummus with rice crackers or veggie sticks, celery dipped into peanut butter (surprisingly yum!), cheese, almonds, fruit and popcorn. Eat dinner at breakfast Instead of eating a heavy meal before going to sleep, fuel your body with the
nutrients it needs in the morning to get you through the day. Then have a lighter evening meal. Drink more water Especially before a meal, this is believed to boost the metabolism and it also fills you up a bit, resulting in you eating less. Sometimes, when we feel hungry, we are in fact dehydrated. So when hunger pangs come on when they shouldn’t, have a glass of water. Squish fruit and herbs before adding to water to jazz up the taste. Don’t eat from the bag We are all guilty of unconsciously eating from a bag until we have discovered we have reached the bottom. Keep your portions under control by pouring sweets, chips and nuts into a ramekin or small bowl. Combat the movie munchies Before settling down in front of the TV, paint your nails. This will prevent you from being able to eat. Alternatively, (because painting your nails every night is unsustainable), find something to do with your hands, like knitting, if you find you cannot enjoy your down time without thinking about an unhealthy snack. By Khurshid Guffar.
WWW.MUMSMAIL.COM HEALTHY LIFE
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Dr Megan @ Home Health Awareness Month As we are all being bombarded with the Coronavirus, we should take note that we are entering Health Awareness Month.
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e are also approaching winter and that means the cold and flu season will soon be upon us. Many healthy individuals will contract “The Flu” or Coronavirus, or any of the other respiratory viruses causing similar symptoms, and they will recover quickly with symptomatic treatment and rest. The individuals who need to be concerned are the very young (less than 5 years old) or those over the age of 65 or people living with an underlying heart or lung condition, or immune compromised by cancer/chemotherapy, diabetes or HIV/TB. These are the members of our community that require extra attention to prevent them from developing complications from this illness. Akeso Pietermaritzburg offers inpatient treatment for: • • • • • • • •
Depression Bipolar Mood Disorder Dual Diagnoses Adolescence Disorders Anxiety Disorders Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders Post Natal Depression Mental Health Issues Related to Ageing
033 346 0065 www.akeso.co.za 126 Woodhouse Rd, Scottsville, Pietermaritzburg
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The flu vaccine is recommended for those who do not want to be infected with influenza. Remember, these are specific viruses that you develop immunity to, this does not mean you will not get a common cold or flu like symptoms from other viruses. We hope and pray for a Covid-19, Coronavirus vaccine as soon as possible. In the meantime, wash your hands! Skills we should all learn as toddlers... wash your hands after using the toilet, wash your hands before preparing or eating food. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. These basic habits that can help prevent the spread of infections. By Dr Megan Broughton, megan@umhlangagp.net.
World Autism Awareness Day World Autism Awareness Day is on 2 April. Khurshid Guffar spoke to Sheraine Reddy, mother to an autistic child and principal of Incredible Minds.
“Our journey as a family with an autistic daughter has been nothing short of life-changing,” says Sheraine. “At 35, Paris was my “laatlammetjie” so when she was still not talking at age three, I assumed she would when she was ready. Her “tantrums” we put down to the fact that she was the spoilt-rotten last born.” Paris was diagnosed as autistic with severe mental impairment after her playschool teacher suggested she be assessed. “Paris had no speech and her tactile sensitivities led to her rejecting both children and adults. She had no means to communicate her needs, her pain or the trauma she experienced from major sensory overload, and this led to violent meltdowns,”
explains Sheraine. “Due to tactile defensiveness, she remained naked for many months and went for 72 hours at a time without sleep.” Paris was then put on medication to help stop her self-injurious behaviour. “We believe that this decision helped her become more self-aware and use what we taught her to self-regulate.” “And so started our journey of learning how to help our child live her best life. We researched and worked tirelessly at home with her, getting her to trust us enough to eventually engage with us. Seven months later she became the first pupil at the Action in Autism Early Intervention Centre where, under the love and guidance of Kirsten Miller, (author of Children on
the Bridge and The Hum of the Sun, both books autismrelated) she spoke her first words. The next step was finding school that offered Paris an academic education, which was a challenge! “In 2014, after many tears and failed attempts at getting people to believe that my child could be taught, my partner Yugen Subraya resigned from the metal industry and homeschooled Paris. Fourteen months later we opened Incredible Minds Adaptive Learning Centre for our child.” For her eighth birthday, Paris received an art set and canvases from her former teacher Kirsten Miller. “The paintings that followed were nothing short of mindblowing! She has since had three exhibitions of her artwork at ArtSPACE Durban Gallery. A reporter once said ‘Inspite of her autism...’ but we believe Paris’s autistic brain is what gives her this amazing talent.” In 2016, at age 10, she was offered a scholarship at a tertiary institution where she is studying Fine Art, Animation and Design. She holds her own artistically and received 3rd place for Animation in 2017 amongst 40 adult students.
WWW.MUMSMAIL.COM HEALTHY LIFE/BEAUTIFUL LIFE
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Win a Beautiful Fashion Hamper with Bling Creations Founded by Shamima Bhayla in 2011 - who was spurred on and inspired by her passion for jewellery and all things “bling” - Bling Creations has been a pioneer in the jewellery industry and a place for women to revel in all things shiny.
“Every step throughout the lifespan of Bling Creations has been about passion. We have always emphasised quality over pushing sales and I have personally had a hand at whatever is on display in my store,” says Shamima. Shamima says that her personal touch on all things within the store is why customers can be sure that when they visit Bling Creations they are transported on a magical journey to a place where all their hearts’ desires can be met, remarking that it is love at first sight when her jewellery is seen. “To date, we have never had a dissatisfied customer, with a lot of people from out of
KZN coming all the way to Pietermaritzburg just to purchase the quality jewellery we have here,” says Shamima. Shamima says that jewellery has always been her passion and she uses the best materials and workmanship available. “You just have to visit the store to see that all our products that we offer boast high quality and value for money,” concludes Shamima. Contact: 033 - 342 2114, 082 619 0007, info@blingcreations.co.za, www.blingcreations.co.za. FB: @blingcreationssa. Shop 115, Liberty Midlands Mall, Pietermaritzburg.
WIN! WIN! WIN! Mum’s Mail has a stunning hamper from Bling Creations to give away, comprising of a Bling handbag, sunglasses and jewelry, worth over R1500. Visit www.mumsmail.com to enter.
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Easy Party Treats CHEAT’S SAUSAGE ROLLS These party treats will go down well with adults or kids, and they are super easy and quick to whip up for your next party! Ingredients: • 12 pork chipolata sausages • 1 sheet ready rolled puff pastry • 1 egg, beaten • 1 tbsp sesame seeds Instructions: Preheat the oven to 200C. Line two baking trays with parchment paper. Unroll the pastry and cut it into 12 equal strips. Wrap each strip of pastry diagonally around a chipolata, just enough to cover the sausage and use a knife to cut away the excess pastry. Place each wrapped sausage on the baking trays and brush with the beaten egg. Sprinkle with sesame seeds and bake in the oven for 25 minutes. Once cooked you can garnish with chopped fresh parsley and serve immediately.
Source: www.myfussyeater.com HEALTHY STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE Ingredients • 1 cup strawberries (fresh or frozen) • 1/2 cup cashews (must be unsalted, can be roasted or raw) • 2-3 dates • 1 tsp vanilla extract • 2.5 cups milk or dairy alternative Instructions Place everything in a blender and blend! • If you use frozen strawberries, the milkshake is nicely chilled when first made • Cow’s milk, almond milk and rice milk all work well Source: www.mykidslickthebowl.com.
081 013 7338 www.lime-light.co.za Stores in DBN/PMB/CT Nationwide home delivery as well
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The Importance of Playing With Your Child Wendy Corfe is a counselling psychologist in private practice in Hilton. Here she explores the importance of playing with your children.
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ow often have you just arrived home after a long day, feeling exhausted, mentally listing all the chores you have to complete before you can finally put your feet up, when your little one asks, “When can you play with me?”. This can sometimes cause you to groan inwardly and to guiltily wonder why your child can’t just play alone. So, what is it that children get from playing with a parent which makes them crave this experience so much? Firstly, playing with your child and giving them your undivided attention tells them that they are so important to you that you choose to spend time with them. This is a strong, affirmative message to a young child that helps to build self-esteem. Secondly, children have an innate need to be witnessed. Think of your child building a Lego tower or doing a handstand.
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“Mummy, Daddy, look at me!” Look what I can do!” Your attending to their achievements, however small, helps them feel seen and validated which is necessary for their mental well-being. Shared play also provides an opportunity for you to model coping skills and to help your child develop emotional regulation. For example, if your little one has painstakingly built a tall tower and it collapses causing them to throw the tower across the room and burst into tears, you can help them label their feelings. “I see you are feeling really disappointed and frustrated right now but it’s not okay to throw toys across the room.” This also gives an opportunity to help them learn coping, “What would help you feel better?” “Would it help if we rebuilt it together or shall we go outside and swing for a bit?” Scaffolding coping like
this gives your child options to draw on in the future when engaged in independent play or in play with peers. Research shows that child behaviour problems decrease when parents play with their children regularly. Shared play also helps your child learn to problem solve. Finally, studies show that the hormone oxytocin (the bonding hormone) is released in both children and their parents during happy playtimes. This hormone causes a sense of relaxation and well-being in both parties, in other words playing with your child has physiological benefits for both of you. In addition to this, it deepens the bond between you, which is a wonderful platform from which to guide your child’s behaviour when you need to. Studies show that mums and dads play differently with their children. Dads tend to play in a more physical way, for example they engage in boisterous or sporting activities while mums tend to be more verbal. Both forms of play are valuable and are necessary for children to have a healthy balance.
Homework – To Help or Not? Getting involved with homework can reap rewards, writes Helen Currie.
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ow much should we help our children with homework and projects? There is no right or wrong answer regarding helping with homework. Homework allows parents to see what is being taught at school, and one of the reasons for homework is to teach your children how to work on their own. But, it’s not your homework, so don’t do the homework for your child. Your role is to help, advise and guide them and to plan and make suggestions. Here’s how: Reading is the most important aspect of learning, and affects everything we do in life. Encourage your child to read on their own every day, but at the weekends spend time listening to your child reading. Tests often stress children because it’s too much work at one time. Help to form a study plan, spreading the workload over a number of nights, allowing time for testing and revision. Where you can, turn learning into a game. For instance, write the different colours in Afrikaans on a piece of paper and stick on the bedroom wall. Then when dressing each morning your child can say them out loud. Orals can be a rather frightening experience, but also a good life skill to master. Let your child prepare, practice and perfect at home, which will build confidence for the
class presentation. Stress the importance of making eye contact and not burying their head in their notes. Getting into a habit of encouraging and overseeing your child’s homework each day - testing, guiding, supervising and showing interest in what your child is learning, will ultimately form a Kick-start your solid foundation in child’s 1st term junior school which Read & learn better, will see them through faster & more effectively with high school and our revolutionary beyond. A parent’s programme! job is never done, but From Grade R to Adults. being involved – and English & Afrikaans Hilton not actually doing the and Hayfields work – will pay off in 033 - 343 3226 the long run. devon@wiseeye.co.za www.wiseeye.co.za
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Call 033 386 8217 TODAY WhatsApp/SMS 083 998 6792 Teaching Music, Understanding Children WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS FOR YOUR CHILD? FACT: • Language • Self expression One of the • Listening • Memory skills • Fine motor only activities skills • Concentration • Social interaction that activates, • Emotional development • Confidence stimulates & uses • Co-ordination • Music playing the entire brain is • Family involvement MUSIC!
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Party Game: Paper Bug Hunt
You will need: paper, printer and computer or pens and coloured paper, paper collecting bags or even a large envelope, snails/sweets for the winner. This is the perfect bug hunt for people who are squeamish about bugs – and for bugs who are squeamish about people. In fact, it doesn’t really involve bugs at all – which is good, because they have very busy schedules. Print or colour lots of pictures of different bugs and creepy crawlies. Make sure you keep a note of each one - or even better, another picture – to put on the collecting bags. Place the bugs around the garden (or ask an adult to do it, so you can take part in the hunt). It’s a nice idea to place bugs near where you would expect to find them – for example, purple flowers for butterflies, compost bins or soil for worms, fresh green leaves for caterpillars.
Every Person has a collecting bag listing all the bugs they have to find – or a picture of each (especially for younger children). On the word “go”, everyone begins hunting for their bugs. The first person to collect one of each is declared the winner and is given some snails to eat. Sorry, I mean sweets. They are given some sweets to eat. (It’s an easy mistake to make). Tip – this makes a good party game for lots of children divided into hunting teams. Source: 101 things for Kids to do Outside by Dawn Isaac.
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Beat Holiday Boredom At Home Already starting to quake at the thought of the kids moaning “I’m bored!” five seconds into the first day of the school holidays? Here are 10 fun activities to keep them occupied without leaving the comfort of home sweet home. Hold a cupcake/cookie decorating competition A cupcake or cookie decorating competition is the perfect way to keep the kids amused for a few hours AND sort afternoon tea. Enjoy a movie marathon A rainy day is the perfect time to organise a movie marathon. Perhaps choose a movie series such as Spy Kids or movies with a theme, such as space, nature or comedy. Organise a bug hunt in the backyard There’s no better way for kids to learn about the world around them than by getting out into it. Bug hunting encourages children to explore their own backyard in an open-ended way that will lead to adventures and imaginative play. Let the kids loose in your wardrobe to put on a fashion parade They’re guaranteed to think it’s hilarious and fun. Place a lamp at each end of the hallway, grab the camera and pop on some fun music - then let the kids get creative. Turn the dining table into a fort Help the kids create a table tent with sheets, rugs and tablecloths and it will become their own little sanctuary where they can do whatever they please.
Have a craft day Every mum knows there’s a world of imaginative fun in the craft box, so get those creative juices flowing and see what you can make out of stuff you can find around the home. Grow a herb garden Herbs are fun to grow and your kids will love having their own garden to tend. They’re easy to grow from seed, requiring little patience as some herbs, like cress and rocket, should start to sprout in as little as two days! DIY science experiments Science experiments are fun learning games that will delight any child. Watching how the world works is much more fun when it’s something you’ve created yourself. Hold a LEGO building contest Put that tub of LEGO to use and challenge the kids to each build a house - with a 30-minute time limit - then judge first, second and third prize. DIY a slip ‘n’ slide There’s no need to shell out for an expensive slip ‘n’ slide, make your own with a roll of thick plastic. Lay it across the grass, hose it down, pour on some baby oil or dishwashing liquid to make it more slippery, then let the kids go crazy. Source: www.kidspot.com.au.
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