THE
WORST
Denton County OF
by Jean Eisenmann | photo courtesy of Jean Eisenmann
I
can’t wait for the Best of Denton County issue to come out! I think it’s wonderful that Denton county businesses have the opportunity to be recognized and commended by their very own clients and customers within their own communities. Congrats to all the nominees and recipients!
But what about things within Denton county that are not so positive? What about the WORST of Denton County? Here are my nominees: • The Gargantuan Groups of Grackles That Gather in the Parking Lots of the “Big Box” Stores. (Say that five times fast, I dare you.) Murphy’s Law isn’t just that it rains right after you wash your car. Murphy sometimes sends you grocery shopping at the big box store right from the car wash. By the time you’re back in your vehicle, you have to open the roll of paper towels you just bought and clean the white mess obliterating the windows, or else your car had better know the way home by voice command. And the sound grackles make in unison as they bed down for the night would make Freddy Krueger shudder. I find them acceptable once a year, however, because on Halloween I like to be creeped out. • Coyotes and Hawks and Fox, Oh My! Good commerce leads to progress, and new construction is a part of it. Consequently, woodland must 20 | LAKE CITIES LIVING | NOVEMBER 2020
be cleared, and displaced wild
animals find their way to Denton
County backyards to check out our
lawn furniture and test the cushions.
Perhaps dip a paw into the pool. Some residents – myself included – have never seen a wild
animal face to face. Recently, I saw a
barn owl sitting on
our backyard fence. I
thought it was a hoot, until my husband
informed me it was
actually a hawk. No
wonder it screeched instead of hooted. I thought it was just hoarse.
• Closed Movie
Theaters. Iunderstand why it was necessary
grease staining your container and fingernails with a lemon-yellow, artificial butter-like substance
resembling frying oil. Or, in scientific
terms, JUNK FOOD. And that feeling
of satisfaction when you’re still picking the particles out of your teeth the next morning as you reflect on the movie you saw.
Don’t forget those ICEEs. Sucking them
I saw a barn owl sitting on our backyard fence. I thought it was a hoot, until my husband informed me it was actually a hawk.
through a straw used
to be my only workout for the week (bargain basement botox). Recently, a few theaters have
reopened with
enhanced sanitation
and safety measures. But does anyone in midlife really want
to see The Goonies or Sixteen Candles again? Buy the
popcorn “to go.” There you have it.
to close movie theaters during
How great is our county when you can’t
can’t have a weekly hissy fit about
about, other than a couple of minor
COVID-19, but that doesn’t mean I it. I’ve made five different brands of
popcorn at home, but none equaled
movie theater popcorn; that glorious
think of anything negative to complain
irritations? We Denton Countians are a
lucky bunch. I think I’ll celebrate with some popcorn from the big box store.
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