The Worst of Denton County

THE WORST DentonOF County

by Jean Eisenmann | photo courtesy of Jean Eisenmann

Ican’t wait for the Best of Denton County issue to come out! I think it’s wonderful that Denton county businesses have the opportunity to be recognized and commended by their very own clients and customers within their own communities. Congrats to all grease staining your container and fingernails with a lemon-yellow, artificial butter-like substance resembling frying oil. Or, in scientific the nominees and recipients! terms, JUNK FOOD. And that feeling But what about things within Denton be cleared, and displaced wild of satisfaction when you’re still picking county that are not so positive? What animals find their way to Denton the particles out of your teeth the next about the WORST of Denton County? County backyards to check out our morning as you reflect on the movie Here are my nominees: lawn furniture and test the cushions. you saw. • The Gargantuan Groups of Grackles That Gather in the Parking Lots of the “Big Box” Stores. (Say that five times fast, I dare you.) Murphy’s Law isn’t just that it rains right after you wash your car. Murphy sometimes sends you grocery shopping at the big box Perhaps dip a paw into the pool. Some residents – myself included – have never seen a wild animal face to face. Recently, I saw a barn owl sitting on our backyard fence. I Don’t forget those ICEEs. Sucking them through a straw used to be my only workout for the week (bargain basement botox). Recently, a few I saw a barn owl sitting on our backyard store right from the car wash. By the time you’re back in your vehicle, you thought it was a hoot, until my husband fence. I thought theaters have reopened with have to open the roll of paper towels you just bought and clean the white informed me it was actually a hawk. No it was a hoot, enhanced sanitation and safety measures. mess obliterating the windows, or else your car had better know the way home by voice command. And wonder it screeched instead of hooted. I thought it was until my husband informed me it But does anyone in midlife really want to see The Goonies the sound grackles make in unison as they bed down for the night would • just hoarse. Closed Movie was actually or Sixteen Candles again? Buy the make Freddy Krueger shudder. I find them acceptable once a year, however, Theaters. Iunderstand why it was necessary a hawk. popcorn “to go.” There you have it. because on Halloween I like to be to close movie theaters during How great is our county when you can’t creeped out. COVID-19, but that doesn’t mean I think of anything negative to complain • Coyotes and Hawks and Fox, Oh My! can’t have a weekly hissy fit about about, other than a couple of minor

Good commerce leads to progress, it. I’ve made five different brands of irritations? We Denton Countians are a and new construction is a part of popcorn at home, but none equaled lucky bunch. I think I’ll celebrate with some it. Consequently, woodland must movie theater popcorn; that glorious popcorn from the big box store.