Letter from the Editor
Connection is at the core of who we are; existing from the moment we are born and evolving throughout. It continues to stay bound through a mosaic of loves- a tapestry stitched with relationships, friendships, desires, and the way we understand ourselves. Love weaves the fabric of our existence, finding its way through every aspect of our lives.
The Love and Sex Zine stemmed from MUSE Online’s annual “Love, Sex, and Relationships” week: a time for contributors to explore connections and intimacies that exist in their spaces. It is a testament to the ways we express, experience, and celebrate love around us- in all its forms. Each year, the zine grows alongside us, formed by the voices that make such themes compelling. This third issue is a tribute to this space where we celebrate the beauty of love in all its messy, endearing, and exhilarating forms. In these pages, I hope you, dear reader, connect to the love stories shared. This zine is woven with intimate explorations of heartbreak and healing. It is a reflection on the past with Napoleon’s love letters, tracing the longing within each word, and how the written word still holds so much power to this day. These pages celebrate the beauty of new experiences, first queer loves, and navigating life in uncertainty. And of course, when you don’t know all the answers, you can always use horoscopes to guide your life- or crosswords to distract you from it.
This Valentine’s Day, I hope you revel in all the complexity that love holds. I encourage you to embrace the beauty, the mess, and the countless ways love stitches itself into us.
With love, from my heart to yours,
Rhea Matharu Editor in Cheif 2024-2025
Tableof Contents
VALENTINE’S Horoscopes.
love and sex
Aquarius
january 21 - february 19
Let’s be real: feelings are complicated for you (ugh, so messy), but this year, it’s time to take a break from analyzing love like a scientific theory and let yourself feel it. This is the year to stop being “in love with humanity” and start letting people prove they can handle your unique brilliance. Whether it’s a partner or a friend, let yourself connect without overthinking. You’re a one-of-a-kind gem, and the people who get you know they’ve found a real one.
Pisces
february 20 - march 20th
Pisces, you’re known for your tender, dreamy approach to love, and this Valentine’s, you’re turning that charm all the way up. Whether it’s a sweet note, a thoughtful gift, or a flirty text, you have a knack for making others feel adored. There’s magic in the air, and your natural intuition is guiding you toward someone who truly sees you. Keep an eye out for subtle signals—especially from someone who’s been lingering around the edges of your world. Your gentle energy is magnetic, and this could be the beginning of something truly special.
Aries
march 20 to april 18
Listen, we know you’re a badass, so it’s time to leave that crusty ex in the dust (where they belong) and step back into your spotlight. You’re not just a vibe; you’re the whole damn experience. You’re smart, you’re kind, and you’re the star of your own show. So channel that Aries energy— flirt like it’s a sport and race some hearts. Just remember: you don’t need anyone to keep your fire lit, you are the fire.
Taurus
april 19 to may 19
You’re a lover of consistency, so if someone’s energy feels all over the place, don’t chase them. Instead, step back, set boundaries, and watch how they respond. Remember: you deserve people in your life who meet your efforts. Taurus, this Valentine’s Day is about embracing your sensual, earthy nature. Whether you’re sharing a bottle of wine at an “underground” bar (Musiikki, anyone?) or sending flirty texts from your favorite couch spot, you’re radiating irresistible charm. Just remember: the best love story starts with loving yourself first.
Gemini
may 20 to june 19
Gemini, we know you’re the life of the party, the master of banter, and someone who can charm their way into (or out of) anything. Humor has been your trusty shield for a little too long. This Valentine’s Day, it’s time to drop the witty comebacks and get real. Yes, we know vulnerability feels like giving up your dollar beer ticket, but trust us, your charisma isn’t going anywhere. Whether you’re single, flirting with half your class, or in a relationship, your challenge this week is to let someone in. Stop arguing for sport and start sharing what’s really on your mind.
Cancer
june 20 to july 21
This Valentine’s, let go of the people who only give you breadcrumbs (yes, even the ones who like all your IG stories). Instead, focus on the connections that feel reciprocal and genuine. And if you want to manifest love, don’t be afraid to send the first text or casually invite them to that cozy wine bar you’ve been wanting to try. They’ve noticed your nurturing energy; now let them see the playful, witty side that balances it all. Your love is unmatched, your heart is gold, and trust me, everyone is about to see it.
Leo
july 24 - august 23
Leo, Valentine’s Day 2025 is your chance to shine brighter than ever. Whether you’re strutting into a party like you own the place or planning a jaw-dropping date night, you’re radiating confidence and charm. Just remember: You’re the star of the show, but true love happens when someone appreciates every side of you—even the ones that don’t seek the spotlight. Whether you’re single, crushing, or coupled up, this year is your time to set boundaries, manifest good vibes, and call in the partnerships that match your emotional depth.
Virgo
august 24 - september 23
Valentine’s Day 2025 is calling on you to break down those carefully constructed walls, Virgo. You’ve been busy perfecting every detail of your life, but love isn’t about checklists—it’s about connection. With Venus lighting up your house of partnership, this year’s theme is about finding balance between vulnerability and control. Whether you’re single or coupled, the stars are reminding you that love is in the little things, not just the grand gestures
Libra
september 24 - october 24
Libra, your natural tendency to avoid conflict can sometimes hold you back from expressing your true feelings. This Valentine’s Day, reflect on how you communicate in relationships. Are you sharing your thoughts openly? Are you listening as much as you speak? A little self-awareness goes a long way in fostering healthier, happier connections. Take this day as an opportunity to speak your truth and invite others to do the same. After all, when harmony is built on openness and honesty, love flows effortlessly.
Scorpio
october 24 - november 22
The stars are aligning for a passionate and profound connection. This year is about leaning into your desires and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in the best way. You’ve always had a way of drawing people in, but it’s time to channel your energy toward someone who truly gets you. If there’s someone in your orbit, this could be the time to test the waters. Their compassionate energy balances your smoldering intensity in ways you won’t expect. A little playful teasing (your specialty) paired with a heartfelt compliment will go a long way.
Sagittarius
november 23 - december 21
This year is your chance to celebrate love in every form—romantic, platonic, and even the self-love that fuels your adventurous spirit. This year is about connection and joy, whether you’re sending flirty texts to a crush, planning a wild night with friends, or savoring quiet moments with your partner. Love is your greatest adventure, so share it with everyone who makes your world brighter.
Capricorn
december 22 - january 20
Your love life might feel like a rom-com with too many plot twists, but this Valentine’s is your chance to define the vibe. Whether you’re swiping through the apps or keeping things delightfully undefined, you’re the star of the show. Stealing glances over cocktails or sharing a quiet moment, you’re irresistible when you lean into your unapologetic self. Love, after all, isn’t about perfection—it’s about owning your quirks and letting the magic unfold.
Star Crossed Cinema
Jillian Morris
For decades, so many of us have been asking variations of the same question: Is the love we see in the movies real? Whether we’re snuggled up to our significant other in bed or nestled under a blanket with our hands curled around a warm cup of tea, I think we’ve all had that moment where you wonder if you’re ever going to experience a love like that, and for that matter, if it even truly exists. Every romcom I’ve ever watchedmeaning many, it’s an addiction at this point – seems to possess some sort of moment that makes every single one of us watching fall in love with love again, no matter how heartbroken, or for that matter, heartless we are. They teach us to crave a love comprised of boomboxes raised overhead and make out sessions in hay bales, followed by row boat rides and date nights strolling through the city wearing a backless yellow dress. It’s in those jaw dropping, heart wrenching, swoon worthy moments that we are brought back to my initial question, is the love we see in the movies real? And, if so, how do we get it?
After much deliberation and an endless analysis of classic star-crossed cinema, there is one factor that seems to play a starring role in many of the major romcoms so many swoon over - fate. Represented as a once in a lifetime, universe-dictated force that entwines two souls together in perfect harmony, fate pushes the notion that our journey to a long-lasting, storybook kind of love is simply predetermined and out of our hands. I don’t know about you, but I believe this is where the love we witness in the movies blurs the line between potential reality and make-believe. Though it is used in films, shows, books, and even the occasional vows, I believe fate strips a relationship of its beauty and hardship. Instead, I’d like to believe that it is our choices that lead us to the person we end up falling in love with and sharing the rest of our lives with. In the end, every choice we make our whole lives leads up to meeting that person, after meeting that person, and from that point on was us choosing them, whether we intended to or not. In other words, keep making your choices, because without even realizing it, one day those choices may just lead you to the kind of love you have seen on screen.
With the idea of fate out of the way, we’re left with no easy answer to our question. So maybe, just maybe, that’s the whole point. Maybe there is no easy answer, because everyone’s life and love story are going to be different. Maybe love isn’t a lifelong commitment to someone, an unwavering feeling, or divine intervention tugging two people towards one another. Maybe love is a moment, a smile, or a hug when you need it most. Maybe it is found in the simple things in life, and if you’re lucky enough to find someone in which you share those moments, maybe you’ll find that love actually is all around.
So, is the love that exists in the movies real? Maybe, or maybe not. I guess that’s up to you to find out.
One hot summer day, I was lounging on a dock beside a perfectly still Muskoka Lake. My phone buzzed with a message from my ex-boyfriend, who I’d broken up with a month prior. He had sent me the address and licence plate of a guy I had been on a single date with. When I asked how he obtained that information, he told me he had driven to this guy’s house that morning after seeing my location there before. A tiny, ironic detail I’ll add – we got back together, and he turned out to be a pathological cheater. But what could be more romantic than stalking someone for me?
I have this book, Love Letters of Great Men. It’s a collection of love letters by some of the most famous leaders, artists, and writers of all time. Some are sweet, like Mozart’s, some are simple, like Oscar Wilde’s. But the ones filled with the most romance are from the men that are historically unhinged, like Henry VIII or Victor
Hugo. Napoleon’s are my favourite. The book includes four letters that he wrote to his wife, Josephine, while away at war. He spends the first two verbally eviscerating her for not writing and states that, if it’s a new lover that has distracted her, he would find them and break their door in. When I read his threat, it was all too familiar. The aforementioned ex once called me – I wish I was exaggerating – one hundred times, then drove drunk to my friend’s house at four AM and threatened to bang on their door until I answered. His reason for doing this? Because I sent him a picture with a friend he didn’t recognize, a friend that I’d known for a year, a friend he’d met several times. Like Napoleon’s first two letters, it was insane.
But, oh my god, the third letter.
“To Josephine, 1796 I have not spent a day without loving you; I
have not spent a night without embracing you; I have not so much as drunk one cup of tea without cursing the pride and ambition which forces me to remain apart from the moving spirit of my life.
… The day when you say ‘I love you less’ will mark the end of my love and the last day of my life.”
These guys, unstable as they are, always have a third letter. The side effect of their insanity is irrational, cannot-live-without-you love, which makes every sane romance suck in comparison. After all, people who are sweet and simple rarely yearn or pine, and let’s not even mention the sex. While it may not be healthy, once you’ve been loved in such an urgent way, it’s hard to accept anything else.
Unfortunately, there’s always a comedown. Napoleon’s fourth and final letter is bitter and pathetic. When someone loves you with every deranged part of themself, you will always be the one that loves them less, and that’s painful for both people involved.
It’s an incredible feeling to know someone loves you so fervently, to feel you are worth loving that much. Despite all the spam calls and public fights, I don’t want calm nights spent ordering Chinese takeout, icky mirror selfies, or somebody stroking my hand while they hold it. The sad thing is, I don’t think love can be real
without intense pain. The other thing about dating in your twenties is that even the sane guys are awful. If I’m going to be manipulated and lied to either way, I’ll go with the guy that also stands outside my house at insane hours, begging me to forgive him. However, I need to stress: these relationships should never last. It’s one thing to be attracted to chaos when you’re young - to seek out passion and intensity before routine and security, but these love affairs are not sustainable. You can always count on these people to go too far and burn it to the ground, then act confused when they’re surrounded by ash. I’ve had short lived, semi-relationships since the psycho. While these boys weren’t nuts, they also weren’t very nice. My ex loved me a lot and didn’t treat me right, but those two things aren’t synonymous. By not understanding that, I’ve found the second without the first, and it feels horrible.
It’s not the craziness we’re attracted to. We just want to be loved extraordinarily, but it’s hard to get the letter without the Napoleon. Josephine had their marriage annulled and spent the remainder of her life living in a château on the Seine. After she died, Napoleon allegedly locked himself in his room for several days and refused to see anyone. The one comforting thing I’ve found about dating crazy is that their love for you will, in some twisted form, always linger.
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meet you.
When the Curtain Falls
Mannat Mehra
“Your first heartbreak teaches you a lot about yourself.” It’s a universal truth—a cure-all, tossed around by anyone who has had the misfortune of being heartbroken. I’ve heard it many times and nodded along, pretending to understand—but never truly getting it. As a twenty-year-old who’s yet to experience the whole dating thing, I never gave much thought to that statement until I experienced it.
In a generation of undefined situationships, especially at university, no one really knows what they’re doing, everyone’s just playing a game of “who can keep their emotions most contained.” So I went along with the flow, never really investing too much into the idea of romantic love and playing by the rules of the game until I made the cardinal mistake of
Illustration:AliAl-Safadi
actually feeling something and having to deal with the consequences of it not working out.
It wasn’t until my first real heartbreak that I realized I had been treating love like a performance. I was rotting in bed, analyzing an irrelevant boy’s latest chess move in our eternally confusing “relationship” when my best friend walked in through the door and ripped off the bandaid, “Don’t cry but he’s dating someone else.”
The words felt like shards of glass cutting through me, but in that moment, my tears weren’t about him. I wasn’t even mad. I just remember feeling exposed; like someone had peeled away all my armor and left me bare with nothing but the raw truth. That I had failed at being loved. Failed at being chosen. It hurt— not because of him—but because I realized I had built my entire sense of worth on being the perfect act.
Love, in my head, has always been this elaborate performance. If I kept getting A’s, if I nailed that perfect “happy-go-lucky” vibe, or said the right thing at the right time, maybe, just maybe, someone would love me for the right reasons. It was fueled by this fear that everyone who ever cared about me would wake up one day, realize their mistake, and walk away.
But when that heartbreak hit, it was like the curtain fell, and I was just exhausted from trying to prove to myself that I could be loved when it felt like I kept failing. I didn’t believe anyone who said they loved me because I had never believed love could be unconditional. How could it, when I always felt this need to earn it?
It’s funny the things we don’t see coming. I had built my whole life on this idea that love was earned, that you had to put in work for people to love you. I’d spent years trying to be “perfect”—not for anyone else, but for this notion of love I had concocted. It was all black and white. Show up. Do well. Be seen. Get loved.
Stupidly, when I monologued this moment of epiphany to my friends on the pavement after a night out (slightly drunk and fresh from seeing the happy couple for the first time), they both looked at me like I’d grown three heads.
“Love isn’t meant to be hard work—it just is,” one of them said as if that wasn’t the most earthshattering concept I’d ever heard. a At first, I wanted to argue. To defend my longstanding belief that love was this intricate, impossible dance that had to be perfected to keep people around. But their words stuck with me, worming their way into my thoughts until I couldn’t ignore them anymore. Love just is.
I don’t claim to be an expert, but what I’ve learned about love is that it’s messy, imperfect, and often awkward. It’s your roommate getting strawberry yogurt for you, even though she doesn’t like it. It’s laughter during late nights that makes you forget the stress of finding an internship (which seems impossible in this economy) for a while. These aren’t moments of performing, of proving worth. They’re about being seen—imperfect, messy, human—and being loved anyway.
I’m still learning. There are days when I slip back into old habits, wondering if I’ve done enough to “earn” someone’s love. But then there are other moments, the ones where I realize I’m not on stage anymore and that it’s better this way. Love shouldn’t be a contract, a test, or a dance you have to get right because in reality it’s a journey, full of ups and downs, shared with people who care about you and who stand by you through it all. Love is realizing that the real prize isn’t proving you’re worthy, but being embraced for who you are.
It’s also about accepting that I might have a tiny praise kink. I mean, after everything you just read, are you surprised?
The first Boy I believed
Cassidy Rae
I had no intention of falling for you. Why would I get involved with someone I had no future with? Despite my hesitations, you managed to worm yourself under my skin. I tried to ignore the flames—we would only have weeks in the same country. In our time together, I learned my reluctance was no match for how you had made me feel. I like to believe I’ve never been in love—but if I am wrong about anyone, it’s you. I tried to push you away, but you can’t fight feelings. Right?
The night we met, your eyes never left mine. In a crowded room, our eyes were locked. I should’ve known that feeling would get me into trouble.
Sitting with you on the sandy shore, gelato dripping onto my fingers as you tried to hold them, is like a chapter I can’t rewrite but love to revisit. Our first date was a beautiful mess— mishaps and laughter wove together, making it all the more crushing. We talked like lovers and laughed like old friends. You read my travel journal and there was unspoken trust, trust that made me feel seen rather than exposed. You quieted the anxieties I once carried into a relationship. In a chaotic world, you create a sense of security.
Our first kiss was electric—so intense it left us both breathless. Like a cup of coffee warming my frigid hands, you started to melt the ice around my heart. The more I learned of you, the easier it became to fall. You made me warmer; you saw all my ragged edges and traced them with tenderness. You healed parts of me I never knew were broken.
People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime—but you never fit neatly
into any of those. I told myself we wouldn’t know more than a season, a fleeting chapter that would be forgotten when we journeyed home. As hard as I tried to shake you, you managed to break down the walls I had so carefully crafted.
It felt childish, chasing a fleeting experience in a place that never belonged to us. Your boyish charm made it easy to ignore the inevitable, but no matter how much we tried, distance was a battle we would never win. We knew our passion would be limited to the stolen moments we shared. We never gave each other false hope; we were just two people who wanted to spend as much time together in the short while we had. Being with you became effortless. You never lied or hurt me; our feelings were shared and met with understanding. You always put my happiness above your own, and deep down I may have loved you for that. There were no ‘right person, wrong time’ excuses, no ‘let’s meet again in a few years’ promises. That wasn’t who we were, and it didn’t need to be.
You showed me how it felt to be cherished. You made me feel beautiful and interesting and helped bring back a sense of playfulness that long felt out of tune. I had heard endearments before and always brushed them aside—but yours carried a weight I couldn’t ignore. I saw your intentions in your actions and how you treated me. I am not naïve enough to believe there’s a lifetime where we find our way back to one another, but the lessons you showed me will long live inside me. You weren’t my first love or heartbreak, but you were the first to show me how it felt to be loved fiercely. You were the first boy I believed.
Why I Was Terrified of First Date Hickeys
Nathan McAffee
“Love” and “sex” - two complex words that have swirled in our heads since the day we first saw a couple kiss or watched Titanic. To a deeply infatuated adolescent like me, however, those words are more of a choice than an intertwining concept: Love *or* Sex? Romance *or* Intimacy?
For years, I had told myself to choose between these “mutually exclusive” ideas because they could not possibly work harmoniously. More specifically, it was the act of engaging in sexual intimacy that I saw as an oil to the water of true love.
If my mindset could be epitomized into a single sentence, it would read: How can I obtain my lifelong dream of true love if I allow this guy to give me a hickey before we get married? Having grown up on Disney movies and with a strict Christian background, my picture of perfect love was plagued by the desire for purity. At this point you might be confused, as most others can accept the idea of being intimate and romantic at the same time. I, however, spent much of my life believing that the fiery passion of sex would only take away from the sweet affections of love.
Over time, and with years of self-analysis, I realized that these fears came from a subconscious belief that there could only be two types of relationships to choose between: Wholesome, sweet, and lifelong or casual, short-term, and sexually charged. Personally, the first relationship is what I have always imagined for myself, so any aspects of the latter needed to be kept as far away as possible. There have been countless times where I felt deeply connected to someone on a romantic level. Then, the smallest amount of sexual intimacy diminished it all, as I became scared of said connection turning “impure”. I have gradually been able to open my mind and realize that relationships are so much more complex than the black and white picture I painted in my head. Rather than two opposing forces in a constant battle for control, love and sex can work in tandem, to amplify the deep connection between individuals. We do not have to choose between cute romanticism and sexual intimacy, as one does not inherently
counteract the other. Further, some people may not find romantic love or sex to be appealing at all, with asexual and aromantic individuals experiencing these concepts in very different ways.
It is important to acknowledge that love is not a binary concept confined inside a tight box of right and wrong. There is no “correct” way to share a connection - rather, one must find a balance of love and sex that makes them feel comfortable. Although I can admit that my views of relationships have been closedminded, I can confidently say that I have since discovered the beauty of love in its many forms, outside of the immutably pure. To the people reading this today, I hope you can move forward in life knowing that sex and love are yours to explore, open to vast experimentation rather than opposing forces (with respect and the consent of others, of course).
CASUALTY OF CASUAL SEX
Olivia Parent
I want you to see my bare back in the soft night light.
I want you to reach out and run your finger down the shadow of my spine, I want you kiss my spine,
I want you to break it.
I’d crumble underneath you, I’d imitate Dust of broken bricks on dirt, Powdery snow laying on stiff grass, Icing sugar sinking into dark mousse cake, I’d seem to be Something else—a piece of a larger thing—something Capable of moving you, Then you could move me.
Taken by you, I’d be satiated, I’d be full and round, Glowing like a perfectly ripe fruit, instead of gleaming like a wet pig; To have you, I’d be rid of my gluttony. To have you, I’d no longer need you.
feel you.
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Love, Loss, and More Loss
There’s a rumble in the ground and I sink further into the feeling; the feeling that this might really be it. The alarms sound in my head and it hits me with a sudden pang in my chest. Despite murmuring about it to myself in passing, imagining a million different variations of how it would unfold, and spending sleepless nights ruminating about the likelihood of it happening, I wasn’t prepared.
It feels like your own personal apocalypse when the alarms that were once in your head suddenly sound from above. You’re left to wonder how there can possibly be survivalists in bunkers and lifeboats with their nonperishable cans stacked high as they fight to live another day. These stories of survival and recovery seem intangible when you’re suddenly tossed into the throes of loss.
I know that relationships end all the time. I know of good-natured, married couples who grew apart and best friends who fell out after seeing
each other grow up. Relationships are threads that are meant to tear and stretch, and while some weave into our tapestry seamlessly, others force us to start our pattern from scratch. Despite knowing this, I can’t imagine how anyone could muster the strength to grit their teeth and passively accept that the life they created is being crushed to pieces on one random evening. You’re telling me that some people believe that they can come out on the other end of the catastrophe they call love? No way. Not a chance. Not me at least.
I’ve officially done it all. I cried to the songs I never thought I could cry to, sent several paragraph text messages, and suddenly became serious about working out. You never think that you’re going to lose a connection with someone until you do. Sometimes, I still feel the ground sinking in passing moments. I can’t manage to condense what we had in a scrapbook of memories that collects dust on a shelf. Rather, I carry us like a chronic
Emma Rych
sickness that overwhelms my body at the most inconvenient times.
I’m at a point where I have experienced a few breakups, and this has led me to build up a tolerance for loss. While I think it’s true that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, each new breakup awakens a vivid, original experience that you don’t think will impact you so deeply until you’re suddenly thrown into it. Loss reminds us of the sheer impermanence of life. Even those who have never been in a relationship know this to be true - we aren’t friends with all the same people from elementary school, and our favourite childhood toys are now stowed away in boxes. It’s a hard pill to swallow every single time something ends.
After each breakup – whether it be with a romantic partner or friend – I find myself looking back and mourning the previous versions of myself. That is, the version of me that believed in the strength of past connections, and in the idea that anyone has the capacity to change and make sacrifices for the person they supposedly love. On one hand, this act of mourning makes me realize how jaded I have become. On the other, it pushes me to realize that, despite experiencing periods of ripping sadness and vulnerability, I have managed
to show up for myself. Living in the absence of someone you love is supposed to make you feel uneasy, but to let that absence fester into a harsh, immovable, force will only push you further into your loss.
By continuing to love and form new connections regardless of the risks, I put my needs before the pain other people have caused me, and I make the choice to build a life that I couldn’t see for myself while I was with you. I know that the act of loving unabashedly is a feat of strength in itself, and I only become stronger as I continue to choose love in the place of apprehension. I believe that choosing to accept an upward path of uncertainty makes you more resilient.
Yes, breakups can be evil, soul-sucking black holes that you just want to push down and forget entirely. Nevertheless, the only way to arrive at the acceptance stage is to saunter through every moment of discomfort until you see light. Breakups are deeply individual experiences, which means that there is no guide that can tell you your next move. Give yourself permission to not know what’s next, and open yourself up to the beauty of growth. You never think that you’re going to clear the rubble and feel the sunlight as you emerge from the bunker until you do.
DANCING IN THE DARK
Sofia Aparicio
Allow me to set the scene:
Two lovers, in fair Verona… Kidding, I wish.
Two friends, in a local park that looks out onto the cityscape of our hometown, Vancouver, at 11:59pm on New Year’s Eve 2024. The stars are shining extra bright tonight and the local teenage delinquents are setting off fireworks nearby. The clock strikes 12 and my best friend Helena and I pop our $6 mini prosecco bottles, cheering, “2025! Woohoo! The year we finally get boyfriends!”
To put myself (and Helena) on blast here, yes you heard correctly. We are both 20 years old, turning 21 this year, and have never had boyfriends. A quick look into our personal history might reveal some damning circumstances, the main one being that we attended a Catholic, all-girls high school, which I admit may have something to do with it. But I refuse to accept that as the sole explanation. Over the years, I have developed various practices of placing the blame for this situation.
“The guys at the neighboring all-boys high school were just not for me”
“Maybe the guy I’m looking for lives in a different city”
“I probably smell like a dumpster fire and therefore men are repulsed by me”
I’ve told myself all through my teenage years, and now my 20’s, that I will find love when I least expect it. The issue with this philosophy is that once you tell yourself not to think about something, that’s all you want to think about. If I tell myself that love happens unexpectedly, chances are I’ll spend my time daydreaming about all the unexpected ways it could happen. It’s gotten incredibly boring and somewhat frustrating. What the hell am I doing wrong? I’ve listened to every TikTok tutorial on how to talk to guys and believed every tarot reading stating my soulmate is coming. Thanks to social media, I eventually found others who feel the same. Is there an epidemic lack of romance hitting Gen Z?
Recently, I was listening to my “oldies but goldies” playlist, belting as loud and terribly as possible, when Dancing In The Dark by Bruce Springsteen came on. A song I’ve loved for a
long time suddenly struck a different chord.
“I’m sick of sittin’ round here trying to write this book
I need a love reaction Come on, baby give me just one kiss”
Bruce Springsteen, a 35-year-old man (at the time Dancing In The Dark was released), was somehow speaking directly to me, a 20-yearold girl.
While I may be young and unknowing of the ways of the world, I think there is something important to remember when spiraling about lack of romantic experience: love is everywhere, if you look for it. Before you say it–I know that it would be nice to experience a romantic type of love instead of a familial or platonic one, just once. But love does not mean any more or less depending on who it comes from. All forms of love can make us feel equally fortunate, even if they aren’t romantic. The feeling is the same.
I could mope around all day about how I don’t have a boyfriend to take me on a cute date, or I could dress up all nice and take myself out. I was almost ready to start feeling sorry for
Can’t start a fire sittin’ round crying over a broken heart.
myself when my New Year’s plans started to look like just another unlucky night at the club, when Helena decided we were going to have the best night with just ourselves.
The point is, love is in everything we do, if you just take the time to notice it. Love is taking the extra time to do a hair mask because you know it’ll make your hair so much shinier. Love is your best friends pulling up to your house with sweet treats in hand because they know you had a bad day. Love is your dog licking your face because it’s the best way they know how to make you feel better. The love you give yourself and the other people in your life is so unbelievably important and so taken for granted. Yes, romantic love is also important to have and a large part of life. But it’s not supposed to be something you force just because you feel down without it.
It’s like Bruce says, “you can’t start a fire sittin’ around crying over a broken heart.” Give yourself, your best friends, your family, your pets, anyone, some love today. Even if it feels like you’re just dancing in the dark.
Creative Director: Liv Smith
Creative Assistant: Midhat Mujaddid
Photographer: Liv Smith
Models: Megan Christoforidis & Sonia Backe
the
Man’s first love was the sea. He has forever watched her longingly from the shores on which he stands. He sees her gentleness when her soft green curves carry the fisherman lazily on her currents. He sees her wrath when her wine coloured
waves whitecap and thrust themselves towards him. He sees her beauty, and her power, but above all he sees the shore. He longs for her, he needs her, but he can never be with her. His place is on the shores, in the boats, marooned on the islands on
which she can never touch him. Unless he gives himself fully to her embrace like Narcissus of old, he will forever be doomed to be apart from her.
There is a quiet dream I hold dear to my heart. In a small grey town
that smells of the sea I am sitting in a record store, finally at peace. The sea on this day is gentle, I watch her waves roll lazily in and the clouds float by on the salty air. In this place I have made no mistakes, there are no broken hearts and unfulfilled
sea
promises, there is only me and the sea. I sit silently in her company, and in return she carries a deep and restful sleep to me.
We all must awake from our dreams eventually.
I awake alone again
with the sun shining softly on my face. It was a long time ago that I became lost to her. I climbed high into the hills in pursuit of the stars, far beyond where she could follow. Her eyes, her smile, and the sweetness of her smell have all been swept away by the
waves of time. I too have been changed, I have been battered and bathed by those same waves. I ask the rivers to carry me back to her but they too have forgotten who we are. Someday I will find her, I will witness her once again for myself, and I will
throw myself into her loving arms. She will hold me on her waves and in her cold embrace, she will carry me to where I need to be. She may devour me, she may save me, it matters not for I shall be with my love, and she shall hold me.
Ben Linton
Bring Back Love Letters!
Dear Reader,
As a gift to my friends this year for the holidays, I decided to write each of them a handcrafted “love” letter as a special kind of thank you for their friendship to me. In an increasingly digitized world, I wanted to do something beyond the computer screen. As someone who religiously collects every birthday card, sticky note, and receipt someone has written on, I found the level of connection felt through handwritten words was unachievable through digital cards. I intricately wrote over fifteen letters, each uniquely personal. Closing the laptop and picking up a pen seems straightforward, but writing out something deeply personal requires a level of vulnerability and patience with yourself I didn’t realize I had.
It wasn’t easy. My first attempt left me with two crumpled pieces of paper, ink on my desk, and a lingering hand cramp. It had been a while since I spent any amount of time physically writing more than a few sentences. I found it difficult to not stare at the page, afraid of saying the “wrong thing.” I tried endlessly to make every single word count for something. But does something homemade and authentic need to be as polished as an essay or cover letter? Or could I let myself flow freely?
Slowly, but surely, I allowed my stream of consciousness to flow straight from my heart onto the paper. I let myself cross out misspellings, doodle in the margins, and try my best to not think, but rather feel the words resonate across my fingertips and onto the paper. I let inspiration flow from my thoughts, the Radiohead album I listened to, even the birds through my window flying across the grey sky. I watched my vulnerabilities slip through the cracks and onto the paper.
I hope for all of your loved ones, you can allow yourself to be vulnerable in more than one way. To openly express your love for them, regardless of how terrified you might be. They’ll love you all the same for it. For the friends that make you laugh so hard your stomach hurts. For the friends that stand by as you cry out your fears. For the friends who have been there every step of the way and those just joining the journey. If I could give advice to anyone on what the perfect gift is, I’d say the love letter.
Just trust me. Write the letter.
Love, Simrit Grewal
Dalyah Schiarizza
SunnyVirgo
that’s all i knew observing from afar stomach churns are dismal messages to my heart
dipped in gold radiating goodness dripping off curls
sweet sunny virgo planted in the badlands deeper roots are darker tarnished bruised blue those roots scared you but bruised is not broken pry out push up move along badlands get better the more sunny virgo travelled
on the edge of the goodlands i wait to see
i wish to tell
if sweet sunny virgo makes it and comes back to me
Clueless
Cockblock
ACR SS
Where artsy guys who tell you they “know a cool underground bar with live music” take you to.
The app where swiping right could lead to a love story or a really funny hook up story.
What you can’t stop doing when you see their name pop up on your phone.
When it’s a bad idea, but hey, you’re young.
The “not quite a relationship, not quite single” status.
A drink that tastes like texting your ex.
The love language that says, “I saw this, and it reminded me of you, so I got it for you”
What you do when you want to know how compatible your Spotify’s are.
The person you are obsessed with at school who doesn’t know you exist.
NARS’s iconic blush shade.
When they keep talking about their ex.
Love language involving contact
The best 10 minute song to get you over your breakup.
The love language that whispers, “You’re amazing, and I’ll remind you every day.”
(Hint: Words of _____)
That feeling where you are not sure if its love or just anxiety.
The app you download when you’re over Tinder.
Where they send you memes instead of love letters.
A sultry conversation starter at 1 a.m.
The ultimate compliment: “You ______ so good.”
Actress in How to Lose a Guy in 10 days
When they ghost you but still like your posts.
Best beverage for a night in with the homies.
When they’re way out of your league, but you try anyway.
The love language where actions speak louder than a dozen roses. (Hint: Acts of ____)
The French word for a kiss.
Popular Chappell Roan song but also how your fling defines your relationship.
Popular 2000’s movie and when you’re flirting, but they don’t get it.
Their roommate who’s always interrupting your alone time.
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MUSE Magazine
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Rhea Matharu
CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Nadisha Gautam
PRINT DIRECTOR
Dalyah Schiarizza
HEAD OF LAYOUT
Ali Al-Safadi
LAYOUT DESIGNER
Nicole Turner
EDITORS
Cassidy Rae
Dalyah Schiarizza
Jillian Morris
Nicole Dancey
Sydney Toby
Isabella Persaud
Cordelia Jamieson
AUTHORS
Emma Rych
Sydney Toby
Mannat Mehra
Jillian Morris
Nathan McAffee
Cassidy Rae
Olivia Parent
Ben Linton
Dalyah Schiarizza
Armita Dabirzadeh
Sofia Aparicio
Simrit Grewal
MEET YOU
Creative Director
Midhat Mujaddid
Photographer
Liv Smith
Models
Ben Linton
Nataša So
FEEL YOU
Creative Director
Nadisha Gautam
Photographer
Jade Robinson
Models
Zahara Wong Groenewald
Camden Szumlanski
KNOW YOU
Creative Director
Liv Smith
Creative Assistant
Midhat Mujaddid
Photographer
Liv Smith
Models
Megan Christoforidis
Sonia Backe
COVER DESIGN
Nadisha Gautam