He Kissed Me Like I Was His Sister, and I Knew I Was Alone Again. I knew I’dtwo never stopped being alone inhethe Just weeks ago he’d been chasing me like was arst place… hunter and I was the prize he’d been searching for his entire life.
…and maybe I never would.
“You’re so beautiful,” John would text me out of nowhere in the middle of the day. A smile would bloom on my face. I’d blush. I’d feel this heat in my chest and this wonderful, terrible hope growing in me. I’d feel myself start to fall… could fall fall in in love love with with you you he whispered after the rst time we “III could you,” “made love,” “had sex,” “hooked up.”
Whatever you want to call it, it was amazing. I wanted him from the very rst moment we met, but I made him wait. I wanted him to feel like he “earned” me. But it was our fourth date and we were kissing on the couch… And I inhaled the good masculine smell of him and felt the strength in his arms… And I felt so safe and protected and desired… And afterwards we lay there tangled in each other. He ran his ngers through my hair…
As I lay my head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat, I let myself believe in some way that maybe, just maybe, it was beating for me…
And we had two perfect weeks before “you know what” happened. Two perfect weeks of irty and sexy texts and laughing in bed and talking in vague terms about the soft-focus far-off future… Letting the walls I’d built around my heart – brick after bitter brick – start to fall.
And then… “you know what” happened. Twenty passionate texts a day turned to ten boring ones. And “I can’t wait to see you,” turned to “I’ve been really busy with work.” bad nightmare nightmare I’d had again and again And then suddenly, like a bad and again…