Parenting- When A Child Asks Why

Children, by nature, are inquisitive. While young, they question because they want a better understanding of something. When they become older, they question because they want a better understanding of why they must give importance to the same things that you do. Irrespective of how old the child is, it is important that when you are making the expectations and rules, the child does not question the validity of your claim and fully understands the consequences of disobedience.

Children of a younger age, do not usually understand the entire reason behind why it is necessary for them to be back home from a friends place at a particular time or why, while in the house, they shouldn't play ball. But to their credit, they always strive to make their parents happy and proud. This is why, whenever a child asks 'why not' or 'why' when they are told to go to bed early or to do some chores, you should never say 'because I say so'. Instead tell them that they should do it because it makes you happy when he or she follows the rules that have been set and does what you have asked. Giving no explanation or just making a demand adds to the child's confusion and frustration.

Teenagers, adolescents and older children will perhaps require a more elaborate explanation. Their why's and why not's should be met with a clearly comprehensive reason. " I do not want you to stay out till after 10 because we have to be at the airport early in the morning and I don't want us to be late." This will also be a good time to reiterate what happens on breaking a rule. " if you are not back by 10, you will be grounded for a week". You should exercise clarity, consistency and firmness.

Although a child may constantly question the requirement of putting a rule and the irrelevancy of it, it also shows that the child is growing to be an individual thinker. Therefore it is best you do not get frustrated or angry at them when they question you; remember it is their own method of understanding the world.

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