The Truth About Lying

Honesty and dishonesty are qualities that a child learns at home. Often parents are perturbed when their child lies.

It is common for young children to tell tall tales and make up stories. This is a normal tendency as kids enjoy telling and hearing stories that are fun. Children often tend to confuse the difference between fantasy and reality. This is perhaps more as a result of an extremely active imagination than of an attempt to hide the truth. As children get older, they may tell lies to suite their needs, like shirking responsibility and avoiding work. Parents should treat each instance of lying as an isolated one and respond by teaching the child about the necessity of trust and honesty.

Sometimes adolescents feel that it is alright to lie in certain situations like not telling ones girlfriend or boyfriend the real reason for a breakup as they are afraid of hurting someone else's feelings. Adolescents might also lie to retain a sense of privacy and feel psychologically independent of their parents. The main role models in a child's life are his or her parents. When parents catch their child lying, they should approach the matter gently but firmly, emphasizing the difference between a lie and the truth and the necessity for honesty. They should try to communicate to their child and find out the reason for dishonesty and help the child find an alternative. It is best to lead by example and a parent should never lie, and if they do, emphasize the inappropriateness of it. Consequences of lying must be discussed clearly and in a comprehensive manner with the child early in his or her life. There are, however, some forms of dishonesty that should cause concern and might be a symptom of some underlying emotional problem. Sometimes children know the difference between a lie and the truth but choose to make up elaborate stories to gain attention.

Other adolescents or children, who seem to be sensible, can also fall prey to repetitive lying. It is common for them to feel that a lie is the most convenient method of dealing with the expectations of teachers, parents and friends. Here the child is not trying to be malicious or bad but just falls into a habit of repetitive lying. If the repetitive lying goes beyond a point, it is best to take it seriously and consult a professional child or adolescent psychologist who can provide help in time.