Sources of Happiness March 2009 Verdadera is a publication created by and for Monta Vista teens for the purpose of instigating communication concerning the 'real world' of high school within the community. Each month, an issue on a topic relevant to the lives of our students is sent home for reading by parents and students alike. We encourage you to discuss and explore the issues and stories, as the publication aims not only to offer an outlet for expression but to improve our lives. Keep in mind that the emotions that flow through the text and the feelings behind the words could be those of your child, your classmate, or your best friend. While we do not edit submissions, we aim to publish personal experiences, not opinion articles. Please utilize all the resources present in the publication and feel free to email comments and feedback. The Verdadera staff thanks you for your interest and support. This issue includes stories about sources of happiness and the difference it makes in students’ lives.
Student Submissions Every Thanksgiving, before we can start our delicious family dinner, each family member addresses what he or she is thankful for. For the last four years, I have spoken about one thing consistently over everything else: how grateful I am to attend Monta Vista High School. Monta Vista is a place of many talents, passions, and dreams, and I have always been enthralled to be involved in numerous student activities. Students at Monta Vista are known for their academic drive, which is something to take pride in – until you go overboard. It is unquestionably normal for upperclassmen to take four or five AP classes and sleep two to four hours a night. Recently, a 3.5 GPA was the fiftieth percentile. Although Monta Vista is a rigorous and competitive school, through
activities we hold, student leaders show our peers that life is not unconditionally about studying and getting good grades. Through my involvement in class offices and as an Associated Student Body Officer, I have developed an immeasurable love and passion towards the student body, and getting involved in student government has easily been the best decision I have made in high school. I have given Monta Vista countless hours and invested my every last emotion, passion, and ounce of energy because I love Monta Vista, and the passionate students inspire me to serve. As a part of Homecoming, seniors are able to be nominated onto Homecoming Court, and at Monta Vista it is a considerable affair. Being on Court is not a popularity contest; instead it 1
exists to recognize students who have invested a great amount of time and energy into the school. This year, administration decided the court nomination process disturbed class time, so they shortened the selection procedure and moved it online. It may sound childish, but when Court results came out, I was absolutely heartbroken to discover I was not nominated. I knew it was trivial and simply a ludicrous title; however, I was hurt by the idea that I was not worthy enough for recognition. Although I knew there was a regrettable voter turnout on this system, I still felt betrayed to think, after pouring my heart into everything I did, the student body did not think I was contributing. At school, it was the most difficult because I felt like I had an image to uphold: not only should I be happy my friends were nominated, but I was supposed to be above being hurt by something so superficial. I kept imagining October twentyfourth when all of ASB would ride by in the Tbirds, and I would be in the crowd just watching them. As an ASB Officer, I wanted to give everything to Homecoming preparations, but it was difficult when my team would leave me alone in class to have meetings, take their formal Court portraits, film for the rally video, or as they continually talked about Court. After spending over ten hours every weekend for six weeks, driving from each float building house to the next to help all four classes build massive, Pixarthemed floats, Homecoming had finally arrived. On the day of the Homecoming game, I went with the drivers to pick up the twentyfoot flatbed trucks to construct the floats on our basketball courts. While the rest of ASB and Court were dressing up and dining at a nice dinner together, I was left with the class officers and other students in their frenzy to construct last minute preparations. When Court showed up in their floor length dresses and tuxedos, I was sweaty and filthy from the last six hours of labor. Everyone ran to compliment them and take pictures, as I was left on the top of a truck to
adhere spinning Monsters, Inc. doors onto the Juniors’ float. Eventually, Court left to board the Tbirds, and the classes completed their floats. I headed to the football stands; and for the first time, instead of walking with the class float during halftime, I would be able to sit in the stands among my classmates and watch the halftime show. As I climbed through the purple and gold sea of students, I was on the verge of breaking down. Then, to my surprise, people started approaching me to tell me how upset they were that I would not be out there. Students from all grades, some that I did not even know, teachers, and even administrators, expressed to me how unfair they thought this was. Throughout the rest of the game, I received cookies, cards, a million well wishes, calls, and text messages; someone even gave me a tiara. I was so touched. While I had thought this night would be miserable, Monta Vista staff and students had helped me remember why I do what I do. The compassion I felt from everyone was truly heartwarming, and I have never been more proud to attend and be involved at Monta Vista. Then, when it came time for the floats to drive by, there was not a single Monta Vista student standing, screaming, and cheering at the top of his or her lungs. Even after all of the pain I had gone through the previous weeks, I truly understood why I love this school. For me, the real meaning behind Homecoming is not to build immense floats or construct elaborate rally decorations. The purpose I see in Homecoming is to unite Monta Vista to become a powerful, passionate student body. This unification brings students together who do not normally talk or hang out. And because of this event and events like it, students are able to relate to one another and realize they actually are not all that different. Many people cannot comprehend why I spend countless hours planning activities that they think are pointless, like a dodgeball tournament, class wide picnic, or even a rally. But the reason I work so hard is to encourage students to enjoy 2
their Monta Vista experience. Instead of feeling like they are just another number among the Monta Vista masses, students are able to build positive high school memories. I understand now that anyone can plan an efficient, organized event, but, for me, in order for it to be significant and worthwhile, I must consider the bigger picture of why I am planning it. Student enthusiasm from activities like this is so rewarding that it has taught me to aspire to live a life that I wholeheartedly love and to value the quality of my life versus the outward labels of academic or extracurricular success. As school days fall away and graduation draws closer, I have been taking nothing for granted because I know, as soon as high school is over, I will really miss this part of my life. I will forever treasure my experiences in student government, and I can only hope that Monta Vista has made the rest of the student body as happy as it has made me. No matter what the court results were, the student body has always made me feel like a queen, and I am so proud to say that by teaching me to be compassionate and to live a fulfilling life, student government has shaped me into the person I am today. "What makes me happy is a quiet place in the sun, nothing to do, and a good book." Eliza beth McCracken I believe we use the word happy too synonymously with any other positive emotion. When we get an A on a test, we say that we’re happy. When we are having fun and enjoying ourselves, we say that we’re happy. When somebody does us a favor, we say that we’re happy. However, I think we all confuse the feeling of happy with accomplished, entertained and thankful. A couple months ago, I won second place in a competition. I had worked hard and put a lot of effort and it felt good to be recognized for it. As I held my trophy I was congratulated and felt good about myself. Did I feel
accomplished? Yes. Did I feel excited? Yes. Did I feel happy? Not so much. It’s not like I was greedy and wanted to win outright, but I just don’t believe that winning something alone will ever be sufficient for me to feel the delightful euphoria of happiness. The next day, when I was getting ready to go home from school, one of my friends came up to me and was like, “I know something you don’t know,” in a super cute singsongy type voice. Naturally I thought she had some big secret and chased her down the hall. I grabbed her arm and she turned around to face me. She smiled at me and said, “You know who your judge was? It was my mom. She said, ‘[you’re] a really good speaker!’” At that moment I couldn’t help but smile. I was very surprised but most of all, happy. Even as I sit here in front of my computer with AIM open and my homework undone, the memory of that moment still brings a warm, fuzzy feeling to my heart. I know that phrases like that seem clichéd but I truly mean it. If you’ve never felt something so deeply that you actually feel your heart tingle then you wouldn’t understand. It happens when you feel very sentimental and makes you realize that there’s more to life than a bunch of chemical reactions happening over and over again. Why is it that I could feel so happy with such simple words from a friend but not from knowing that my hard work finally paid off? It’s not like she was telling me anything I didn’t already know. If I wasn’t a good speaker, I never would have won. However, she told me at such an unexpected yet felicitous moment and in such a jovial way that I’m not likely to forget it. Even if anybody else had told me, I probably would not feel the same. She is the most cordial and fun sophomore I know and she never fails to smile when we pass each other on our ways to class. Although the Constitution talks about pursuing happiness, I don’t think it’s something we need to strive for. I find that the times that 3
make me happiest are those with my friends. When they compliment me or just make me feel loved, I truly believe that I am happy. I think the true source of all happiness is love and when coupled with serendipity, love will create the happiest moments of our lives. "Sharing a laugh with people I care about, making my kids happy, and going on adventures with my husband are all things that make me happy." Renee Fallon I know a lot of kids at mv feel pretty screwed up, and for the ones that feel truly happy I envy. For a while I kind have been depressed, but the reason why I’m not totally insane yet is a major thanks to my family. Most teenagers would probably say their friends first, or music. But what can your friends give you that your family can’t? Honestly, even your true friends can and will leave you eventually. Family is forever much to the dismay of certain clichés of best friends forever etc. And music is a healer, but it can’t hug me, love me, care for me. My source of happiness would stay with my family. They’re the only people who have seen me at my weakest. It’s my mom who would cry with me when in sorrow, and I the same for her. I can learn so much from her from the smallest of things, and in the shortest of time. And I can laugh so much, why would teenagers waste time arguing or fighting with their moms? It’s my dad who I go to, to see how real men should act like. With courage, strength and a broad mind. My siblings are the ones closest to me. They’re not my friends, but part of who I am so I never have to be afraid of them leaving me. I’m completely grateful. Although my friends are important to me, I can live without them. I only need the people at home to stay by my side to survive. Some families are naturally strong, others need time to learn how to create this happiness. My family is the latter, but that’s what makes me stronger. And why I’m
able to stand on my two feet. My family is my source of happiness. “My source of happiness is completing a task, usually a really challenging one for which I had to seek out new knowledge and test my own patience and determination, always makes me happy. That and dessert." Michelle Balmeo I love food, I love sports, I love girls. Safe to say, I am a generic teenage boy. The above three all make me extremely happy but not anymore. I met this girl a few years ago, and soon I have found that the first two lose their significance when compared to this girl. She makes me feel hungry, content, and bloated all at the same time along with tired, energetic, or hot headed. While I am with this girl I don’t need food or sports to make me feel good in life. When I see her smile, my stomach is filled with all the delicacies in the world and my whole world is complete, when she’s sad, I feel famished and a need to rid this pain. When she’s angry, I feel my blood boiling as if I am on the court, ready to back her up in any situation. Every time I see her, my heart is pounding away as if I am taking the gamewinning shot of the game. Every time we share a laugh, a tease, a smile, I feel like I just won the championships. Every time she is disappointed or sad, I feel like I lost the game, but tomorrows another chance to try again. This girl is something that I have to have in my life, she has become a necessity in my life, a craving that can not be fulfilled. With her in my life, I am not just a normal teenage boy. “I enjoy teaching kids when they're interested in being taught." Jay Shelton I’m a member of the Monta Vista Varsity Girls Water Polo team; Therefore, I’m naturally a fan of the movie Zoolander. In the movie, there’s 4
one quote that always sticks out “ I’ve always wondered if there is more to life than being ridiculously, ridiculously good looking.” Looking back at the water polo season, there’s a lot more in life than, as Zoolander would say being ridiculously good looking, such as being happy. And it just so happens I find my source of happiness in the pool, playing water polo, with nine of the most amazing girls I’ve ever met. OKAY, this whole thing sounds way to cliché, but it’s all true. Through all the fights over the balls with more grip, or whoever gets the last ‘ lard cookie’, whenever I’m with these guys I’m always smiling, non stop. Though that statement is slightly false since you can never be happy swimming 10 100’s, and when Don Vierra, our coach, shaved his mustache, nothing was the same. But the fact that there are nine other girls suffering with me makes me feel a little bit better, plus we all know how much Mr.Tait and Mr. Freemen miss that stache. There was one game I remember, way at the beginning of the season in August, where I was having a horrible day. Our coach, Don (back then with THE mustache) was yelling at me, since my shots were sucking, and we were down by two. I started crying at the end of the second period as I swam over to the bench, waiting to get yelled at. I was on the bench for no more than two seconds, and I found my self laughing, I don’t remember what was said , but they said it. With a spirit lifting cheer, we started the third period, and I was in the best mood possible. We won that game 94. I scored nine goals in three periods. My worst game of the season ended up being one of my best. And, every time I scored a goal, the cheers from the bench, and the disappointment from the other team just made my day. But, no matter what happens winning or losing, there’s always going to be a catchphrase party, with candy and bollywood music, guaranteed. How much happier could you get? Oh wait, I know! Numerous team dinners, 2am donut wheel stops, amazing cheers, karaoke contests, inside jokes, and shower parties to say the very least. I
suppose in water polo you can always take your anger out on your opponent. I can’t count how many times; we’ve talked about the one girl we ‘ accidentally ’ punched, kicked or scratched, after all that’s part of the game. Sure it gets out all your anger, but coming back to a bench full of girls in purple caps, then having secretive talks refills the happiness that was missing. When we’re the ones getting beat up, we always know we’ll back each other up. One times we had we got in a REALLLLY aggressive game with the other team. Suits were ripped, people were punched, and feet were in mouths. I know this shouldn’t be reminding me of something as a source of happiness, but it was the moments like those that made us all realize how lucky we were to be on such an amazing team, and that brought us closer. If you mention it to one of us now, we’ll probably laugh. All I know is that no matter what happens throughout the day, I’ll always have nine girls who I can go to in or out of the pool. I guess these girls aren’t just my source of happiness; they’re my source of everything. Of course, the tans will fade, but the good times that made us happy will never ever go away. “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” –The Dalai Lama Laughing is probably my favorite thing to do. Cliché, I know, but it truly helps me destress and enjoy life. When hanging out with friends I like nothing more than to watch a funny movie with stupid humor like “Superbad” or “Pineapple Express.” When I’m feeling sad, I usually want to listen to sad music and mope around, which is not very helpful. What I try to do instead is watch a comedy sketch on YouTube or something like that. If you have the second semester blues, I would recommend adding some comedy to your life. “Happiness for me comes from seeing people 5
around me happy, especially if I am the cause for their happiness.” Supriya Moore ____________________________________ There are three things that keep me happy. One of them is no work, such as homework, tests, grades, etc. They cause stress and worry, and cause you to limit your free time. But that’s not everything, because I could be bored because I could have nothing to do. My friends also keep me entertained; they are the people I can be silly with without them thinking im stupid and I can tell secrets without fearing them being told. “I love living and breathing in the present moment rather than fixating on the todo list is where I find the most peace.” Megan Birdsong Happiness is a rare commodity in a world filled with academic stress, peer pressure, and “dra ma.” We strive to find some form of escape from daily routines. Whilst some may find hap piness in sports, art, or other such activities, I have solace in knowing that my happiness is derived from my friends. Being an only child can be quite monotonous on occasion; hence, interaction with people, friends in particular, has always put a smile on my face at the end of the day. We all have friends, but the true ques tion is whether we have reliable ones. Through my four years of high school, I have been lucky enough to find a group of individuals who al ways look out for me and essentially hold the characteristics of the quintessential friends. I say “lucky” because it has become apparent to me that not everyone I know shares this luxury of a close knit of friends to which they can without hesitation depend on. True friendship is rare in our society, but I am and forever will be happy to know that I am a proud owner of this commodity. “But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?” Albert Camus
Things that make me happy: When someone unexpectedly bakes me brownies Just because they’re nice Eating a really great meal And putting sauce on my rice When my boyfriend lets me drive His precious baby truck Or realizing my pockets Are hiding an unexpected buck The fulfilling feeling after A really great run And the end of fifth period When my school day is done Waking up on Wednesday and knowing How long I slept that night Ordering a pizookie And taking the first bite I love life and I am truly in a great place So I am enjoying this journey at a leisurely pace “That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.” Henry David Thoreau Everything that goes on in my life is a source of happiness. While it may sound very naïve and even stupid to say something like that, I think it’s very true. Every little detail that occurs during my day is something I should be happy about. Although sometimes I am mad at my parents for being unfair and mean, I forget that they are doing so with the best wishes for me in their minds. I forgot how lucky I am to have parents who care about me enough to take the time and teach me a lesson. Whenever I get a test back, and I’m unhappy that I didn’t do well on it, I fail to realize that I have just learned something about myself, and it’s good that I learned it now, instead of later on, where failing is unacceptable. Even when it comes to the worst corners of life, such as the pains of a relationship gone wrong, there is still happiness to be discovered; happiness for the experience, for the lesson, and for the smiles it put on my 6
face from before. I often forget about this, and am glad for this opportunity to remind me that there is no such thing as bad new; just news, and it’s up to me to interpret it however I want to. "Happiness is not always doing the things which you like, rather it is liking the thing that you are doing." – Sushma Bana A huge source of happiness has been food for me. It’s strange; I never used to enjoy food so much. Now I find myself hungry all the time and when I eat something I feel much happier. I haven’t been gaining weight so I think it’s okay. I’ve also become pickier with my food. If it is not something I like, I wont eat it. But what I do like to eat, I enjoy so much. Another source of happiness for me is music. I’m constantly listening to it, and it can always make me happier when I’m feeling sad. The beat of the drums, the strum of guitars it’s all amazing to me. I even listen to it right before I sleep in bed. It’s like I never feel sad when I’m listening to music. “Growth itself contains the germ of happiness.” Pearl S. Buck Most of my friends who know me think of me as a happy person. I'm the epitome of optimism and happiness in their eyes. I try to spread those positive emotions everywhere I go. My friends think that "I'm just that type of person" and that it comes to me naturally. It doesn't. My happiness is derived from various sources and it depends on what I'm doing and who I'm with. I have seen upfront what negative emotions can do to people and that experience left scars on my heart. I don't want people, especially the ones I care about, to have to go through such torment and misery. So, I spread positive vibes around so that it is that much harder for negativity to permeate. That's my first and foremost source of happiness. My second would be my friends. They are the
reasons I wake up every morning with a smile. They are the reasons I was able to pull through all the hard times in my life. They are the reasons I come to school nowadays. However, some of the time, my happiness doesn't have a source. Some days I just wake up feeling happy. Happiness in general has its sources but at the same time, it doesn't. What matters more than pointing out those sources is making that happiness a constant and spreading it as much as possible. “The richness I achieve comes from Nature, the source of my inspiration.”Claude Monet Waking up at 6:30am makes my morning all the better. Due to the immense amounts of work Monta Vista demands, this is rarely the case, and I usually end up rolling out of bed a few minutes before my carpool leaves. But waking up early gives me time for a nice hot shower in the chilly morning. I also get to have cereal in milk for breakfast, instead of running out the door with an imitation cereal bar. If I'm running late, I usually just slip on my Converses and tie the laces on the car, but if I wake up at 6:30, I can tie my shoes before going to school. It makes me really happy. For me, I try to notice the simple and little things in life. They occur in everyone's life, and by appreciating them, there is a lot more in life to love. "Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.”Franklin D. Roosevelt How simple it all was then. I had heard as a youngling that the world would become more complicated with each passing year, but I was just a callow youth then, and I laughed it off. Well now, I'm crying it off. I'm standing in the rain, crying. How redundant is that? Idly, without any real purpose, I calculate the acid base equilibrium constant Kw or whatever, of my tears against the rain. I get a number that's 7
physically impossible (the equilibrium occurs at 37 minutes). I sigh and shudder; that's what life has devolved into now that im no longer good at chemistry When I was a sophomore, I was so happy. I loved chemistry, and chemistry loved me. I could do stoichiometry in my head, thermochem in my heart, and organic chem In my lungs. I think that as sophomores, we reach a peak chemical ability (PCA), and that's when chemistry is easiest. I remember once I memorized the periodic table. I wrote a rap song just listing the elements (it was tough, though; no amount of tongue twisting will make aluminum rhyme with manganese. I ended up just inserting a *bleep* sound between the two. Manganese is kinda explicit, after all). The concepts glided by like fat kids on banana peels, and I could catch each one effortlessly. I'd give anything to be able to do that again. But more importantly than that was the attention I got. In sophomore year, my parents would danse every Tuesday because I had had chem. That day. One more a+, one more "Manganseificent!" on my lab notebook (I really was running into manganese a lot back then!), one more gupta dollars. But now, in chem. AP, I look into my parents eyes and I see only shame. Oh god what I wouldn't give to see my father smile again! It's the exceptions, you know. That's the reason why my life is so screwed up now. I imagine somewhere in Sweden there's a huge maze of file cabinets filled with exceptions in chemistry. The word's tattooed to my brain now. In chem. Honors, we were told to ignore the exceptions, like happy sheep being led back to the pasture without having to look at Exception Cemetary. But now, there are exceptions popping out at you from every corner, scarring your eyes and everything. I've almost pulled my hair out trying to remember them and the worst part is that some of the students are losing their wool.
Nothing makes sense any more. I've had my beliefs shaken to the very core. I mean, what kind of God would sit back and allow sulfate to be insoluble in water except for the alkali metals and ammonium? The only answer is that there is no god. Thanks a lot, chemistry. Up is down and right is left and black is white and spongebob is straight, thanks to you. I feel like a boy drifting out to sea, with no horizons around me, lost without a frame of reference. My fingers are shaking as I type this right now. What else do I have but chemistry? Ever since I caught dad trying to clean that weird white powder that he kept in little rows on the mirror, I feel that chemistry is the only thing keeping me from snapping. I used to wrap myself in a warm blanket of elements. Then I found out that yo're not supposed to mix hydrogen and chlorine, and I'm lost now, lost into the darkness. My source of happiness has melted, and like an endothermic reaction, it took my warmth with it. I know that chem is try, but im starting to lose it. Maybe the poster was right and chemisamystery, just one more mystery i couldn't solve Also math: At the risk of sounding like a pompous nerd (but hey, aren't we all at MV?), I have to say without fear that math has been a source of pure, refined happiness to me. Looking at an equation is like looking at a beautiful model for me. My electric blue eyes burn with a fierce intensity every time I come across an equation and going through a math test is like, well, I'll let you figure out what it's like for me. However, this source of happiness is deteriorating every single day. i feel like my mathematical prowess has been arrested at the footholds of knowledge...i can't seem to get any further. the reason for this end to happiness, i believe, stems from my attempts at a proof. I 8
have been working on a single proof since my freshman year (and i am now a senior, mind you), locked away in my attic. The frustrating part is that i'm no closer to the solution to the proof than i was two years ago. i won't reveal what exactly i'm trying to prove on this article because of the fear it may fall into the wrong hands, but rest assured, the field's medal will be mine soon enough. the fact is, i have been working so bloody long on my proof that it has negatively affected other parts of my life. for example, my grammar and punctuation has fallen apart like the taniyamashimura conjecture would have if it hadn't been for the work of ken ribet...anyway, it is so ironic that such a pleasure in life such as mathematics can be so brutal to my other facets of existence. in my junior year, when i thought i would go mad because of my struggles in trying to solve the proof, i thought it would be wise to tell a friend. i invited him over for a cup of tea and we had a chat (i first told him to sit down, of course.) i told him what i was trying to prove and he was flabbergasted; he found it difficult to sleep that night. The point i am trying to make is that even the help of some of my close friends, my source of happiness, math, is quickly becoming my enemy. and now, i must continue to read the tome on the epsilon conjecture...i can feel my happiness morphing into hatred now...someone help me. “Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.” Edward De Bono As a kid, I always believed that we could never be happy and it was part of human nature to try to raise our level of contentment by pursuing what we didn't already have. It made sense to my blackandwhite child's mind, lacking sophistication and complexity. After all, don't poor people work hard to make money? Don't lonely bachelorettes try to find Mr. Right? And at the end of the day, poor people cannot get
out of their situations and the lonely bachelorettes pick their men apart trying to find someone flawless. They all fail, and remain unhappy. Then I was thinking about what makes me happy. Sometimes it's my accomplishments, because they give me a feeling of success and lasting confidence. But more than that it's being with people who make me happy. These are my close friends and family members, when they are making me happy. I think being with people distracts me from other "problems" in my life and also gives me a sense of acceptance, and THAT makes me feel good. Also, I easily confuse feelings of temporary satisfaction (after I exact revenge, for example) with happiness. This can't be happiness because I feel guilty and horrible afterwards. So maybe it's just being with people. Hmm. ______________________________________ “Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness.” Sophocles There are many different sources of happiness, and many different types of happy. Oh sure, it feels great to get those math tests back with smiley stickers on them, and I get a rush every time I come out on top in a sport, but it is the joy that people bring to my life which stays with me the longest and truly makes me happy. I've had the most amazing circle of friends throughout high school, some of us have even been together through Kennedy. Together, they have shown me everything they know about life and how to live it, discussing things with meaning beyond the confines of everyday school life. I spent an entire year in weight training with one of my greatest friends, let's just call him Bob. Bob is one of the smartest people I have ever met, a person who understands what he 9
wants to do with his life, and really knows who he himself is. He seems to know everything and everything, and if he doesn't he knows how to find out. He is the most rational, calm, and focused person I know. The fact that Bob's focus was not lifting weights made life even more fun, though I admit I was confused as to his lack of effort. But as time progressed, I realized that it didn't matter. Whether Bob could bench only 75 made no difference to who he was, and he did not mind. He was himself every day, did what he was able to, and did not worry about trying to outdo himself in an area where he had no need to. He knew what he wanted to get from it, namely the class credit, and enjoyed the time talking to me. I learned from Bob that I don't need to stress myself about being anything I am not, and to find joy in who I am and what I like to do. I don't feel joy in accomplishing things because others feel the need for me to do them, but in succeeding in areas which I feel are important. Bob has taught me many things, and so has the rest of my family and friends. Life is hard, but it is also an opportunity to have fun and be happy. I know that I can only do that if I am myself. ______________________________________ “Happiness: We rarely feel it. I would buy it, beg it, steal it. Pay in coins of dripping blood, for this one transcendent good.” Amy Lowell
Monta Vista Saturday Night Live. I won't go so far as to say it changed my life forever, but I will say it was one of the coolest things I have every done. I have never acted in any school production, (because of the hours, I say, but I know it is also because of the fact that I am freaking on
stage in front of a full auditorium with a bajillion chances of screwing up lines) but when some friends of mine asked me to go to the auditions for MVSNL7, I thought I might as well give it a try. For someone who is not part of the drama crowd, this was a big deal. I mean, actually performing scenes in front of people, especially with ridiculous roles, and doing it with all the bells and whistles was pretty cool. Plus, I didn't expect to get really far, being selfconscious and pretty green, but I landed a nice role in a decent skit. Rehearsal once a week was nothing compared to stories of week long sessions until ten pm which the standard shows do, so I was able to keep up with my AP classes and still act. I realized that I was truly having fun, and was even anticipated performing on stage, something which you could have never threatened we with without me cowering in fear before. When the day finally came I was so pumped up with adrenaline, sugar, and butterflies that I had a hard time keeping from spontaneously combusting, but once our scene was up I got there in front of all those people and played my funny role. Damn, it is almost like some sort of adrenaline high. The whole thing was great. I made so many new friends, learned something about myself, and had so much happiness during the process. “Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.”Mark Twain I'm really happy when i accomplish something. Whether it's just finishing homework or a big project, the sense of accomplishment never fails to satisfy me. I'm also very happy while watching asian dramas and when chatting with my friends. Their stories and jokes often make 10
my day. ____________________________________ “If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time.”Edith Wharton My source of happiness is within my friends, because my friends don’t give me pain, agony, or pretty much any drama. They give me love, life, adventure, laughter – just happiness. I will brag to the fullest extent that my friends kept me alive through high school. Because in high school we’re idiots, we think grades, boys, image, etc. are extremely important. What are really important are our friends, because boys come and go, grades will suffer, and we’re all going to be wrinkly one day. But friends stay as long as you want them to. And I will guarantee you that if we ever become friends I will have two shoulders for you to cry on, because that boy broke your heart or because you got a B in math or because you grew a pimple. I will always be there for you, because I know that since we are friends you will always be there for me. :) “The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances.” Martha Washington My source of happiness would have to be reading a good book. Whether it’s romance, mystery, or an adventure book, if I like it, it makes me happy. Reading helps me escape away from my stresses for a while, even if the book is really sad and makes me cry, at the end I still feel better. Reading also helps me feel like I can relate my problems somewhere. When I don’t want bother my friends with trouble at home or drama with other kids at school, a book is the way to go. Yes it sounds lame, but just because reading makes me happy, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have a life. I still talk to real three dimensional people and have phone conversations. I just enjoy a good read here and there; it is a healthy way to escape.
“Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.”Buddha Sure, everyone has their sad days. But if you list out how many things and how many people make you happy, you’ll find that the amount of happiness you get from them outweighs the sadness that you’ll ever feel. My sources of happiness are my family, friends, boyfriend, basketball, running, class events, shopping, food, naps, The Sims 2, and the list is endless and always changing. If you haven’t found any dependable sources of happiness, don’t worry about it! Go out there and find a hobby or activity you love. Pursue it and you might discover unique people or a feeling from it that you never expected. Talk to different people and appreciate those who are loyal and respect you. Take a look at me, running was like one of those presents that were at the bottom of the stocking at Christmas. I was soo excited because it was a surprise, plus it made present opening time that much longer! I never really expected myself to enjoy running as much as I do now. But after I’ve done crosscountry for a few years, I absolutely love it. Yeah, sure it’s tough dedicating two hours of running everyday after school when you’ve got piles of homework and homecoming to worry about. But it makes me HAPPY! A literal physical and mental happiness, from what I learned in physiology. The endorphins supposedly, plus you can feel your body just radiating healthiness! I think happiness is something everyone can attain. It all depends on how you look at the world and everything around you. You are responsible for your actions and your attitude. So if you don’t like it, change it! If you want happiness in your life, you’ll find a way to find it. And if you think you’ve found those reliable sources of happiness, then return the favor to those around you. Show a friend of a loved one that you care and appreciate them because, you never know, you might even be their source of happiness. Really take a step 11
back and look at life through the big picture. Appreciate the things and people that are around you. And most importantly, what goes around comes around. So if you spread happiness and treat people the way you want to be treated, it’s gonna come back to you in full swing. “We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.” Anne Frank Call me crazy, but I am just about obsessed with small children. I love everything about them. Their wit, their curiosity, their energy, their little fingers, their incorrect grammar, the list goes on... Ever since I moved to San Diego five months ago, I've gotten to know the two and a half year old daughter of a close family friend, who is probably the most exciting person in my life right now. I've grown to have a close connection with her and I think nothing can make a person happier than having a child love you. First of all, she's mixed races (African American, Persian, Bolivian, German, and Polish), so she's naturally gorgeous beyond belief. No like...seriously. She has mocha colored skin, big blue eyes, full lips, and a big curly afro of beautiful brown hair. I wish I could show you a picture instead of telling you, but I'll just leave it up to your imagination. This child is crazy smart. She loves to read books (even though she can't really read yet). She enjoys pointing out all the pictures and making up stories to them. And she knows all her dinosaurs way better than I do (one time she asked me to pass her the Stegosaurus, so I gave her a random one and she said "No, that's Teradactyl, Auntie!"). She knows so much more than you would expect any two year old to know, and it makes me immeasurably happy when I see her learning new things.
One quality that she has is her ability to see beauty in things that really....aren't. I woke up one morning with my hair poofy and tangled, eye makeup smudged on my face, smelling like morning breath and she looked at me and said "Auntie! You so bootiful!" Just in general, the way that she wakes up is so beautiful. She opens her eyes in the morning and hugs everyone around her and says "I love you!" Who wakes up in the morning and says "I love you" to everyone they see?! Anyways, I could sit here and tell you all her cute little quirks, but that would take forever and I'm sure not everyone is as obsessed with small children as I am, so I'll just stop here. But long story short, having a child like Makadi around you all the time is such a blessing and brightens up any bad day. I always get really excited to see her and she never fails to make me happy. :) “The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven.” John Milton This might be weird for a guy to admit, but I re ally my source of happiness comes from watch ing Taiwan idol drama. Not only do I get to take a break from my boring love life, and im merse myself in a life full of dramatic events, I can also gain knowledge on the workings of the female mind. Not really, I actually choose to watch certain dramas only because of the fe male actresses in them. It is only interesting if the actresses appeals to me so I can imagine myself in the position of the male actor. One actresses that I am currently obsessed with is Terri Kwan. She is really sweet and cute in the drama Starlit, but my friends think she looks plastic. Although she looks plastic, in the dra ma her personality is one that few girls possess. Watching drama not only provides hours of en tertainment, but also an understanding of how directors and adults perceive the ideal society 12
and relationships to be. In almost all the dra mas, the lead female and male actors have some kind of conflict between them that make them hate each other, but eventually grow on each other and fall in love. This love is so strong that it is impossible to break. I think this is highly unlikely but I like to see the pattern of thinking in the producers of this drama. As you can see, dramas are very entertaining to me and I can spend hours watching it. Don’t you wish you can just trip and fall and meet the love of your life? I know I do. “But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine.”Thomas Jef ferson I’ve always been a happy person. I never really thought about why I was happy, until recently. On a lonely Saturday morning I was home alone. My parents were out, and my sister was at a soccer game. I was bored, so naturally I went on Facebook. While I was looking at some new pictures of myself, my best friend Adrian IMed me. Immediately, I started feeling happier and I actually cracked a smile, just from seeing his name. I realized that the bond between my friends and I kept me cheery and bright. I find that the more people I talk to the better I’m feeling later in the day. A scientist recently said that happiness was infectious, and I believe him wholeheartedly. In this crazy world, having friends is the only way I stay grounded and blissful. “Independence is happiness.” Susan B. Anthony
Over the summer, I was reading my 8th grade yearbook. Almost every comment talked about how happy I was and how every time they saw me I was smiling. But then I read my 9th grade yearbook and there were virtually no comments about how I was happy. When I was reading my yearbook at the end of freshman year I didn’t notice. But after comparing it to my 8th grade yearbook, I was kind of curious as to why there was such a drastic change in perception. I made a resolution to smile at everyone that I saw when walking by in the halls even if I don’t know them and especially if they smile at me. I hope that people feel happier when I smile at them and when they smile back it makes me happy too. One small gesture can make all the difference. However, there are those who always find some small dust speck floating in the air that distracts them as I smile at them (if you catch my drift…) Regardless, I do not let those people ruin my day, I just smile and hope for the best. “Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.”John Barrymore After hearing the verdadera issue was on the topic sources of happiness, I was thrilled. Recently I discovered my source of happiness came from this one and only boy I had meet last year. He and I didn't quite start too well but as we soon talked and saw eachother as something more. Everything seemed to change after meeting him. He was everything.......he was why I had a rosy red smile everyday and despite what others said, he meant everything. Even though so many disagree with out relationship, somehow over the rainbow he makes it worth the effort.
13
Happiness Victoria Swenson, MFT Happiness encompasses a broad range of feelings—everything from euphoria, elation, joy, lightheartedness and contentment to peace of mind. All too often in today’s society, people seek happiness through external means like money, status, material goods and hedonistic behaviors. These avenues do produce positive feelings, but they tend to be shortlived, only to fuel the desire for more, more and more. Sometimes they even result in suffering rather than pleasure. Deeper, more long lasting happiness is an inside job. Through our attitudes, choices, thoughts and behaviors, we can cultivate happiness in a multitude of situations and circumstances. The “happiness setpoint” is a baseline of contentment that some experts believe we tend to return to following both tragic and wonderful life events. Scientific studies about happiness suggest that genes play a role in how happy we are, accounting for about 50% of the happiness setpoint. Heredity appears to influence personality, temperament, stress tolerance and resilience—all elements that impact one’s happiness quotient. Happiness and wellbeing are also affected by the activity of brain chemicals called neurotransmitters, along with hormones and natural pain mediators produced by the body, all of which are influenced by genetics. Yet, the brain is an amazingly plastic organ. It changes in response to what we think and do. This means that we have some power to affect our own happiness and even modify our happiness setpoints. 14
One of the nation’s premier investigators of happiness is Dr. Martin Seligman, founder of Positive Psychology, a branch of psychotherapy that focuses on strengths and healthy living. He defines three components that comprise happiness: 1. Pleasure: immediate, transient sensate experience 2. Engagement: involvement, absorption, immersion in life and activities 3. Meaning: having purpose; transcending oneself through connection with the universe and/or a greater good. Seligman’s categorizations are similar to distinctions made by the Dalai Lama, a spiritual leader whose concerns include individual and societal wellbeing. The Dalai Lama distinguishes pleasure, based in the physical with shortterm effects, from happiness, a longerterm experience emanating from the heart and mind. Research conducted by Seligman indicates that the happiest people enrich their lives by pursuing all three “happiness components”, although focusing on engagement and meaning (the equivalent of happiness as defined by the Dalai Lama) seems to have the most profound and enduring effects. In many respects, happiness is its own reward. While no one can or should expect to feel happy all of the time, most of us would prefer contentment to anger, sadness, boredom or other “negative” emotions. It is becoming increasingly apparent that the implications of a happy life are greater than any one individual’s state of mind. Findings show a twoway correlation between happiness and improved measures of health, success, and social involvement. This means, for example, that enjoying good health is likely to make you happier, and being happier is likely to contribute to good health. As understanding of these interdependencies expands, interest in happiness as a social and public policy issue is growing. Being the social creatures we are, connectedness with others is a primary need for humans. With this in mind, it may not be surprising to learn that people who have more friends tend to be happier than those with fewer close relationships. A study published recently in the British Medical Journal (December 2008) revealed that happiness is actually contagious, spanning up to three degrees of separation. Not only will being friends with a happy person increase the odds of your happiness, being friends with the spouse, relative or another friend of a happy person is likely to increase the chance of your contentment, too. The immediate infectiousness that happiness creates was very apparent to me when I met with the Verdadera staff and advisors to plan this month’s edition. Simply hearing stories on the topic seemed to lift the mood of everyone in the room. Perhaps you experienced this effect while reading the personal accounts submitted by students in this issue. Looking at characteristics that typify happy people can give us clues about how we can bring more satisfaction into our own lives. Crosscultural, multigenerational, international studies reveal significant similarity in traits that apparently contribute to a happy disposition. Connection with and concern for others, gratitude, zest for living, loving kindness, authenticity, openmindedness, compassion, forgiveness, hope, spirituality, fairness, selfcontrol and selfdiscipline are among the factors that have been repeatedly linked with a positive sense of wellbeing. You probably noticed that the student submissions in this issue reflect many of these qualities. In research conducted by Dr. Seligman and his collaborators, an interesting difference between happy teens and adults in the US was identified. Overall, the happiest members of both age groups share 15
similar traits, but some distinct differences emerged. Teens rank higher on qualities of hope, teamwork and zest, while adults rank higher on appreciation of beauty, authenticity, leadership and open mindedness. This difference has implications for parents and teachers, which Nansook Park and Christopher Peterson (Seligman’s research partners) summarized well: “We should be as concerned with how to keep certain strengths from eroding on the journey to adulthood as we are with how to build others from scratch”. Park and Peterson also noted the importance of parental selfregulation. They found that children of parents who maintain good selfcontrol tend to experience more life satisfaction. Safe, reliable and consistent parenting creates an environment in which kids can thrive and models behavior that children are more likely to adopt themselves. So what can you do to create more opportunities for happiness and wellbeing in your own life, whether you are a student, parent or faculty member? There are a number of activities that I employ myself and recommend to people seeking to improve their lives. Here are some tips you may find useful. Nurture good relationships. Spend time with people you enjoy, who treat you well and with whom you share mutual respect. Family and friends can make good times better and bad times easier to bear. “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson Practice appreciation. Keep a daily list of gratitudes—3 to 5 things each day for which you are thankful. Express sincere appreciation to people in your life. Take time to smell the roses. Beauty and wonder surround us each day, though we often don’t slow down enough to notice it. “In ordinary life we hardly ever realize that we receive much more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.” –Dietrich Bonhoeffer Be true to yourself. Know your values, goals and priorities, then act accordingly, rather than being swayed by the opinions of others or the “herd mentality”. This can be a challenge during adolescence because teens are at a stage in life when identity, beliefs and values are being formed. Wanting to fit in and be well regarded by others exerts an extremely strong pull at this age. Sticking with what you know to be true for yourself will set a foundation for becoming who you want to be and for finding satisfaction. “Be that self which one truly is.” –Soren Kierkegaard Value yourself. Everyone has unique strengths. Identify yours and find ways to put them to use every day. Turn your attention away from critical inner voices that say, “You’re not good, pretty, popular, smart (you fill in the blank) enough” and toward what you like about yourself. Our thoughts and feelings follow our attention, so focus on what you cherish about yourself. “I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship”. –Louisa May Alcott Spread kindness. Do something nice for others and you’re likely to benefit as much as the people receiving your acts of kindness. Choose someone you care about, a casual acquaintance, or even a stranger in need. Spreading kindness makes us feel valued and builds a sense of purpose. “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” –Aesop Embrace your interests. Be open and curious about people, places and things, then immerse yourself in that which you find interesting. Sports, hobbies, the arts, careers, courses of study—the possibilities 16
are endless. Engage fully in your pursuits; turn off the phone, TV, computer and MP3 and really connect with what you are doing. “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” –Albert Einstein Check your attitude. We don’t have control over most of what happen in our lives, but we do have control over how we react. Do you expect the worst, or look for the silver lining? There is always more than one way to interpret what you experience. “Happiness is not a matter of events; it depends upon the tides of the mind.” – Alice Meynell Let go of grudges. Brooding over ways you feel you’ve been wronged brings you down, keeping your attention focused on the negative. Try opening your heart and practicing compassion. Remember that we all struggle with life at times. If you can forgive others, you’ll probably be able to forgive yourself when you need to as well. “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” – Catherine Ponder Take good care of yourself. As mentioned earlier, health and happiness are interrelated. Get plenty of sleep and eat well. Exercise produces mental as well as physical benefits. “He who has health has hope. And he who has hope, has everything.”—Proverbs Meditate. The simple act of silently following one’s breath is proving to have far reaching effects. Meditation can help reduce stress, expand compassion and lay a foundation for mindful awareness. For some, it is a spiritual link to the world around them. “Meditation is not a means to an end. It is both the means and the end.—Jiddu Krishnamurti Our feelings are constantly shifting, moment to moment. This can be hard to remember in moments of bliss and hard to believe during moments of despair. Celebrate your happiness and when it slips away, know it will return. And if you’re tired of waiting, try practicing some of what you’ve learned reading this edition of Verdadera. See what works for you!
Bibliography HH Dalai Lama and Cutler, H.C. (1998). The art of happiness. NYC, NY: Penguin Group (USA) IncPark, N., & Peterson, C. (2008). The cultivation of character strengths. In M. Ferrari & G. Potworowski (Eds.), Teaching for wisdom (pp. 5775). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum Pollay, D.J. (2008, May 5). We can be happy; history says it’s up to us. NorthStar Writer's Group, Retrieved March 1. 2009, from http://www.northstarwriters.com/djp058.htm Seligman, M., Steen, T., Park, N. and Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist. 60, 410421.Skousen, M. (August 2002). The four sources of happiness: is money one of them? Retrieved March 1, 2009, from The Freeman 17
Web site: http://www.thefreemanonline.org/columns/thefoursourcesofhappinessismoneyoneof them/Wallis, C (2005, January 9). The new science of happiness. Time Magazine, 165(3), 2022 Resources from the Verdadera Staff Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens: Simple Ways to Keep Your Cool in Stressful Times by Richard Carlson, PhD The Art of Happiness by His Holiness The Dalai Lama and Dr. Howard C. Cutler Time Magazine, January 17, 2005. The entire issue is devoted to an exploration of happiness. Selected articles available online at http://www.time.com/time/magazine/0,9263,7601050117,00.html www.authentichappiness.com This is Dr. Martin Seligman’s University of Pennsylvania site. It contains several assessment tools, updates on the science of happiness and opportunities to participate in studies on happiness. www.happier.com This is a website full of exercises and selfassessment tests designed to help people increase happiness. You’ll even find iPhone apps on this site that you can use to practice daily habits to build contentment and satisfaction. Upcoming Issues and Submission Deadlines Issue
Deadline
Self Image
6pm, Saturday, April 4th
College
6pm, Saturday, May 2nd
Tradition and Culture
TBA
Ways to Submit 1. Visit us at www.verdadera.org. You can submit stories here, learn more about Verdadera, and meet staff members. 2. Stories can be turned in to any staff member – hardcopies or emails, anything is welcomed. Staff members are also there to help answer your questions about issues, topics, anything. 3. Email it to verdadera.entries@gmail.com
18
Sources of Happiness March 2009 Staff: Jackie Barr, Alex Cheng, Allie Choy, Natasha Desai, Kai Kang, Jane Kim, Kriti Garg, Brittany Hopkins, Tiffany Lau, Yifang Qui, Shishi Wang, Tim Wheeler, Matisse Yoshihara Advisors: Hung Wei, Kathy Fetterman, Carol Satterlee Visit us or submit stories at www.verdadera.org
19