MAGAZINE.COM.AU
What to do when child catches you having Sex?
Breaking Free from Domestic Violence - Pt1 The passion of motherhood Exclusive interview with
Toni Pearen
The
Ba b y Issue
ISSUE 58 -JULY 2016
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CONTENTS COVER STORIES
REAL READS
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CLOTH VS. DISPOSABLE
REBECCA GLOVER RUBY AND OLLIE - PT2
BREAKING FREE FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - PT1
52
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD CATCHES YOU HAVING SEX
84
TONI PEAREN THE PASSION OF MOTHERHOOD
CELEBRITY READS
36
BREAKING FREE FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - PT1 CHASING CHARLIE’S CURE
TONI PEAREN THE PASSION OF MOTHERHOOD
EVERY MONTH
6 7 20 28
EDITOR LETTER EDITORS PICKS BOOK REVIEWS MUMMY BLOG WORDS CAN BITE
YOUR CHILD
8
FIRST WEEK JITTERS THE BEFORE AND AFTER PERIOD WITH YOUR NEWBORN
16
TEETHING PAINS
24
THE DUMMY HOW TO GIVE IT UP!
32
PREPARING FOR BIRTH
50 66
BABY ROUTINES
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DAD READ BONDING WITH YOUR BABY
36
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD CATCHES YOU HAVING SEX
RELATIONSHIP
40
PARENTING IS FOR LIFE
LIFESTYLE
88 70
RECIPES
GET THE LOOK: INTERIORS
SHOPPING
58 80
70
84
KIDS FASHION Shop the Look TOY REVIEWS
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EDITOR IN CHIEF BEAU MEDINA
EDITOR BIANCA MEDINA
ASSISTANT EDITORS ANVI SHARMA JANA ANGELES
ART DIRECTOR GARETH DAWSON
SALES DIRECTOR BIANCA MEDINA
CONTRIBUTING EXPERTS LITTLE READING ROOM 52 WEEKS BLOG APRIL DAVIS
EDITORIAL ENQUIRIES EDITORIAL@MYCHILDMAGAZINE.COM.AU
ADVERTISING ENQUIRIES ADVERTISING@MYCHILDMAGAZINE.COM.AU
CONTACT: CRE8 PUBLICATIONS PHONE: 0411 572 877 8 GROSE ST, PARRAMATTA, NSW 2150
My Child magazine and mychildmagazine.com.au are wholly owned by Cre8 Publications (ABN 70 141 165 675). No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in the company or in My Child or mychildmagazine.com.au. My Child contains general information only and does not purport to be a substitute for health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. Reproduction of any material without written permission by the publisher is strictly forbidden. We cannot accept responsibility for material lost or damaged in the post or for any unsolicited manuscripts and photographs. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.
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Baby Carrier One The ultimate ergonomic edition www.babybjorn.com.au The Parallel Line Design is a sign of a genuine BABYBJĂ–RN product.
EDITOR’S LETTER Hi Lovelies, We hope you have been well and are all snugged up during these colder months? We sure have been, the mychild team is completed allergic to the cold, but as long as the air con remains at 30 degrees we can continue to pretend that its summers (in the office at least- haha). So life has been crazy here at mychild, we have been super busy getting the Baby Issue ready and out the door. There are a lot of great articles in this issues and we love the advice and guidance they offer. We interviewed the amazingly talented Toni Pearean and she told us all about how important her role as a mum is and her story about her motherhood journey so far, make sure that you check out her amazing interview. Don’t forget to check out Part 2 of the Ruby and Ollie’s - Rebecca Glovers story, an amazing read. Our real read this month was from mum Jo Shirran whose son has been diagnosed with neuroblastoma. Jo gives us a heartbreaking and inspirational look into the everyday challenges her family lives with as they fight to save Charlies life. We also have an incredible story called Breaking Free, it’s about a mother’s struggle to get out of a relationship that is toxic and rampant with domestic violence. This story will be run over the next 2 issues. We have you covered in this issue including pregnancy, baby, toddler and kid articles to help you along your way in this lovely journey of parenting. We also have all your favourites, yes we have more yummy recipes, baby and kids fashion and let’s not forget the fabulous interiors. J Well that it’s for another month! If you have any feedback, don’t be shy, send us an email to editorial@mychildmagazine.com.au, we love hearing from you and love feedback! Enjoy the issue.
Beau and the mychild Team xx 6
may2016 july 2016| |mychild mychild
editor
PICKS
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Written by: Jana Angeles 8
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FIRST WEEK
Jitters The Before &After Period with Your Newborn
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Being a new mum has its perks. You get to hold your baby, feel their warmth and share this unbreakable bond with them. Nothing can stand in the way of your love once you first hold your baby in your arms; it’s an indescribable feeling. The quiet moments you share with your newborn is an incredible experience and when it’s time to come home, some may feel they aren’t prepared to get back into the routine of normalcy again. It’s essential that prior to giving birth, to be prepared before and after the event. Being in the most delicate stage of their life, raising a newborn is not a piece of cake. Your role as a new mum is to take in the new highs and lows as you watch your baby develop and although those sleepless nights seem to take the toll out of you, the benefits of seeing them sleep, laugh and smile makes it all worthwhile. Preparation is key prior to the birth of your baby. The last thing you want to do is rush everything when it comes to delivery day and it helps to pack all your essentials and personal items 6 weeks prior to your due date. Anything can happen in the coming weeks towards the end of your pregnancy journey so it’s best to have the support of your partner or family member to do the packing for you. Some things to pack away in your hospital bag will include: • Toiletries and tissues. • Pillows - some hospitals may not have enough for you. Having extra comfort helps.
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• Heat packs - a godsend to those cramps. • Books, magazines - things that will help you relax or pass the time. • Glasses or contact lenses if you wear them. Note: Glasses can fog up easily during labour and you can’t wear contacts while having a caesarean section. • An old nightdress or old t-shirt to wear when you go into labour. • Slippers. • Socks. • Dressing gown. • Medicare card, your healthcare insurance details and any other hospital paperwork you need. • Lip balm. • Some music to listen on an Mp3 or a discman. • Snacks and drinks. You’re only human so feeling peckish and thirsty during labour is normal. • Massage oil or lotion if you want to be massaged during labour. During those moments where your contractions begin to become more intense, it helps to have your partner bring some other things while you both wait for the arrival of your baby. Even if it’s simple items, having that extra support really helps smooth out the transition for you as parents. Both of you will feel many mixed emotions prior to your baby’s arrival so hold tight and take a deep breath! Some items your partner can bring for you and themselves: • Water spray - this will work wonders for you while
• • • •
you’re in labour. It’s an intense cardio workout! Money or a credit card for parking onsite. (optional) Digital/video camera to capture the moment where your little one arrives. Be sure to check the hospital’s policies in regards to video taking and cameras being brought on-site. We live in a digital era so you can even tape everything on your smartphone if you wish! Snacks and drinks because dehydration and being hungry are the worst! Also your partner may want to snack on something while they wait (labour is a really long process!) Mobile phone to contact all your loved ones on the big day! Bringing a portable charger can also help so your battery never runs out.
Congratulations! Now that your baby has arrived, you can finally breathe easy again. Normally you can go home with your newborn 48-72 hours after birth. Depending on how the birth went, you can go home immediately under your doctor’s approval. However, during your hospital stay, it’s really important to rest and relax with your new bub. It also helps to have your partner be by your side when it comes to assisting you with the little things - like showering or getting changed. Be sure to inform your loved ones not to overwhelm you with the visits. Giving birth to a baby is not the easiest thing to do so if you need some quiet time, let them know you need it.
To prepare yourself for afterbirth and/or going home, these are the items you should bring with you: • Toiletries. • Old or cheap knickers or disposable ones. The last thing you would want is to lose your favourite pair of lace underwear! • Ear plugs - helps if you’re in a noisy ward. • Nightshirt or T-shirt. It also helps to bring front-opening shirts and pyjamas to assist you with breastfeeding your baby. • Maternity pads - bring extra just incase! • Breast pads and nipple cream. Swollen breasts are the norm after giving birth so having these are a godsend. • Nursing bras. Bring two or three pairs with you. • A going-home outfit. Something comfy for you to wear when you go home.
• Notepad or journal to write down any questions you have for your midwife or doctor and to note down any favourite moments you’ve had with your baby. It’s also helpful to include any useful information from your doctor and noting down your feeding sessions.
• Baby blanket. • Hat. • Jacket or cardigan. It helps to have one for your baby incase of unexpected breezy weather. • Nappies, wipes and bags for soiled nappies. • Muslin squares.
As a mum, it’s important to remind yourself that everything doesn’t have to flow right; especially if you’re a new mum, this may be a different ball game for you. With the support of our Here’s a few items you will need family and friends, we should to bring for when your newborn always remember that we are comes home: loved and cared for during this exciting period in our lives. • An infant car seat. You won’t There is nothing more beautiful be able to leave the hospital than seeing our bundle of joy without one. Large hospitals sleep so peacefully. Who knew can also check if it’s safe to holding a little one would mean use and if it’s the right fit. the world? • An outfit for the trip home. The simpler the better! • Socks or booties and mittens. You and your baby are ready to come home! You’ve packed your bags but are you sure you have everything?
NOTHING CAN STAND IN THE WAY OF YOUR LOVE ONCE YOU FIRST HOLD YOUR BABY IN YOUR ARMS
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BABY
CLOTH VS. DISPOSABLE which nappy is better?
Written by: Jana Angeles 12
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Taking care of your baby iaan the first few years can be a rewarding yet stressful time for yourself, and knowing what’s best for them comes as a first priority. Nappies are going to be an essential part of yours and your baby’s life, like it or not. They come in all shapes and sizes and with a little experimentation, you can find the nappy which comes as a dazzling delight for the bottoms of your little angels. Whether you’re passionate about the environment or have a thing for convenience, there are so many different brands to choose from and ultimately, the choice is yours.
to clear up, and the horrible rash and blisters disappeared. She has never had the thrush return. We were sold, and never l weighing the decision of actually using them, knowing their disadvantages also helps. back.” Of course, cloth nappies have all these wonderful advantages but when it comes to weighing the decision of actually using them, knowing their disadvantages also helps. DISADVANTAGES
We explore the advantages and disadvantages of cloth and disposable nappies to make decision-making just that little bit easier for you and your bub. CLOTH NAPPIES Cloth nappies are a dream if you value cost-effective and environmentally-friendly items. This isn’t to say that all cloth nappies adhere to these elements, but with a bit of trial and error, you can find a brand that suits you and your baby. ADVANTAGES • They are non-toxic, meaning they don’t contain any harsh chemicals or plastics. • They are naturally-made. You also have the option of picking up organic-branded nappies made out of cotton or bamboo. • •
Cloth nappies are said to prevent any of those nasty nappy rashes because of the natural materials used Have less of an impact on the environment as opposed to disposables.
• Different varieties of colours and designs exist in cloth nappies. • Cloth nappies have less leakage, which mind you, is a bonus for all mothers! • Cloth nappies are great for sensitive bottoms due to the natural materials used. • Cloth nappies are less smelly than disposable ones. • When it comes to long-term use, cloth nappies are cheaper. • Because cloth nappies are washable, you’re not adding to the awful landfill. • Cloth nappies fast track toilet training because your baby can feel the wetness from the material.
• Cloth nappies can be difficult to manage especially if you’re planning to go on a long road trip somewhere. • Washing them can be time-consuming and you can’t just throw them out like disposable ones. • The payment for individual cloth nappies is a lot higher compared to just buying a supply of disposables. • You have to be extra careful when it comes to cleaning them and ensure that they’re sanitary. You also have to dry them out and this could be a time-consuming process. In an article on Mommyish, some of the mothers mentioned how much of an inconvenience cloth nappies were when it came to their lifestyles. One mother said, “I looked into using cloth diapers when my child was a baby, because of how bad pampers are for the environment… unfortunately the cost and time commitment and inconvenience seemed too much to deal with while preparing for a newborn.” DISPOSABLE NAPPIES If convenience is an ultimate win for you, then disposable nappies are the way to go. Of course, they aren’t as environmentally friendly as cloth nappies but they can be just as good when it comes to doing the job. ADVANTAGES • Convenience. Convenience. Convenience. • There are many brands that offer organic and biodegradable options, which is a win for the environment. • They are super easy to use. • They are readily available and can be purchased at your local supermarket and department store. • They are considered to be more sanitary than cloth nappies because of their one-off usage.
• Cloth nappies come in different sizes to suit your baby. In article on The Guardian, Karen Reekie writes why she’s never turned back when using cloth nappies. She says, “Within three days of wearing cloth nappies, our daughter’s bottom started
•
It’s been said that disposables absorb more than cloth nappies. Technologies in disposable nappies offer special crystals which pull away the liquid from the nappy, helping prevent nappy rash from occurring.
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• They don’t need to be washed or dried! Despite the cost-saving benefits found when using cloth nappies, Australians prefer convenience over cost which is why they opt for disposable nappies. In an article on Sydney Morning Herald, it was mentioned that families paid more for disposables due to the convenience it offered for them, spending between $1900 and $3000 by the time their child was fully toilet trained. Even with its convenience, disposable nappies have their downsides. DISADVANTAGES •
Most people incorrectly dispose nappies - this could mean having the poo still inside and throwing them out! When the nappy is decomposing, human waste lets off lots of methane and this is one of the main contributors to greenhouse gases.
• It’s been said that disposables largely contain harsh chemicals and materials which can affect your baby’s skin. • They contribute to landfill and aren’t as environmentally-friendly like cloth nappies.
• There’s more trial and error involved with disposables because there are so many different brands and sizes. • Disposable nappies take at least 200 years to decompose when in landfill. • When it comes to long-term use, disposables are considered to be more expensive as opposed to cloth nappies. In a blog on Courier Mail, a mother criticised the harsh effects disposable nappies had on the environment. She says, “Considering that most parents leave faeces in disposable nappies, the chemicals in disposables, having them wrapped in little plastic bags, this is a scary thought. But, even looking at the manufacture of nappies, there are an awful amount of resources, from chemicals to water, put into producing a disposable that has a single use.” VERDICT: CLOTH OR DISPOSABLE? So when it comes to cloth and disposable nappies, deciding the real winner is going to be a personal decision. As a parent, you know what’s best for you and your baby and both nappies offer great advantages. Using a combination of disposable and cloth nappies can help you and your bub live easily. Besides, your bub won’t be needing nappies forever, so make sure their bottoms live in comfort for the first few years of their life. They’ll thank you for it!
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® the contemporary moses basket recommended by midwives
Safe Hygienic Eco-Friendly Breathable Wide Colour Range for information visit www.mobauk.com distributed by www.exquira.com.au 14
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For parenting advice from a Tresillian Nurse:
Tresillian Parent’s Help Line 1300 2PARENT 272 736) For parenting advice(1300 from a Tresillian Nurse: Tresillian Parent’s Help Line
Tresillian Advice on 1300 Live 2PARENT (1300 272 736) Tresillian Live Advice on
tresillian.org.au tresillian.org.au
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teething Written by: Anvi Sharma It’s exciting when you first realise your baby is teething - it’s an important milestone for them. As daunting as it is, remember your baby will be uncomfortable and frustrated from the whole experience. As with any developmental changes, knowing what to expect is always important when it comes to helping your baby cope with the changes they are going through. This basic guide is to help you understand what to expect when your baby is teething. Here are some helpful things to know: * Babies are born with a full set of 20 teeth, however these are hidden in their gums. * Teething can start around the six month mark but can start as late as 12 months. * The lower front teeth usually come in first; the upper front teeth come a few weeks later. * By the time your child is 3, you should be able to see a full set of baby milk teeth. * Milk Teeth start falling out to make way for permanent teeth around the age of 6. 16
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BABY
Remember that every child is different. If you have concerns, it’s always best to seek professional advice from your doctor or health professional. How to tell if my baby is teething? Being able to tell if you baby is teething can be hard. Before the first tooth appears, there are many signs to look out for when it comes to your baby’s teething stage. These include: * Dribbling and/or drooling more than usual. * Sore-looking or inflamed gums * Flushed red cheeks * Putting things in their mouths and wanting to bite or chew anything to relieve the pain * Sleep patterns have changed - shorter sleeps, waking in the middle of the night (if they usually sleep through) july 2016 | mychild
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* Inconsistent feeding or loss of appetite * Rashes near the mouth or chin, which can be caused by the extra saliva * Coughing or cold-like symptoms * Ear pulling and cheek rubbing * General restlessness, irritability, discomfort and uneasiness
WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP MY BABY WITH TEETHING PAIN? Some babies go through teething without any problems, but others unfortunately suffer terrible pain while teething. Babies often become cranky and can lose sleep, adding to their mini meltdowns. A great solution is to have them chew on something firm and safe (a silicon teething ring or a wet washcloth – something soft, and big enough to not be a choking hazard has been recommended by mothers). Try giving your baby chilled foods like yoghurts, chilled or frozen fruits (use mesh feeding bags to prevent any choking hazards), chilled or frozen teething rings are always popular too. If they are old enough, teething rusks are also a great option as the hard exterior gives your baby something to apply harder pressure to their irritated gums. You can also rub your baby’s gums or let them bite your fingers as the pressure might provide them with some pain relief. You can apply teething gels directly to the gums, which will numb the area for a while. However, it’s not recommend before breastfeeding as your child might not be able to latch properly. Always consult your doctor before using teething gels. If the pain seems to be unbearable for your child, paracetamol may be appropriate. Always read the instructions on the packaging to check if your baby is a suitable age. Always consult your doctor before using over-thecounter medications.
WHAT DO I DO TO TAKE CARE OF MY BABY’S TEETH? You can start your baby’s dental hygiene before the first tooth appears. Cleaning your baby’s gums with a soft clean wash cloth will remove any harmful bacteria. It’s also a good idea to make sure your baby’s hands are clean as they will chew their own hands and fingers to soothe teething pain. Once the first tooth appears, you can start brushing your baby’s teeth with an infant toothbrush and toothpaste. Make sure that you only use a child toothpaste as it’s low in fluoride; only a small amount of toothpaste should be used (the size of a grain until they are around 18 months and then no more than the size of a pea). You can start flossing your baby’s teeth once they are touching. Babies can develop tooth decay, so establishing a good dental routine is important for your babies milk teeth. One important tip is having good bottle feeding habits. The sugars in juice and milk can eat away at the enamel for hours and can be quite damaging to your babies teeth. Make sure that you don’t let your child fall asleep with a bottle in their mouth.
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If your child hasn’t started teething by 14 months, it’s best to consult your doctor with your concerns. Teeth can be very spaced out so don’t panic; they will eventually move into position as they grow. A side effect of teething can be bleeding under the gums. It may cause a blue bruise or teething blisters in your baby’s mouth. Once the tooth breaks, the blisters should go away; it’s a common side effect of teething, so don’t worry! Sometimes teeth can be very spaced out, but this shouldn’t be a cause of concern as they eventually move into their position as they continue to grow. If you have concerns about your baby teething, talking to your doctor is advised. july 2016 | mychild
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BOOK
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Bee & Me Alison Jay
The Detective Dog Julia Donaldson and Sara Ogilvie
A young girl befriends and cares for a withering bee. She feeds and houses the bee until it is thriving (playing chess, riding bikes and even having picnics!). Bee & Me is a visually stunning, wordless picture book about friendship and ecology, depicted in Alison Jay’s recognisable oil paint medium and signature charaterisation style. The girl’s friendship with the bee demonstrates the important role that each individual can play in the conservation of the bumblebee population and the bee’s personification portrays this message in a gentle and child-friendly manner. Bee & Me is recommended for readers aged 3 to 5 years and is a colourful introduction to the ecology of the natural world.
Detective Dog Nell is on the case to find the school’s missing books. Nell sniffs out the culprit and finds the perfect solution so that everyone can enjoy reading books to their heart’s content. Readers follow Nell on her exciting pursuit, via Julia Donaldson’s effortless rhyme and Sara Ogilvie’s colourful, playful illustrations. Young readers will thoroughly enjoy this celebration of reading and friendship and warm to a very likeable feline protagonist. The Detective Dog is recommended for readers aged 3 to 6 years and is a delightful reminder about the wonder of reading, especially when the story is about the adventures of a daring detective dog.
On The River Roland Harvey
Shapes, Reshape! Silvia Borando
Readers explore the Murray River and its history, ecology, people and animals.
Shapes are rearranged to create a range of animals.
In this new edition of the At the Beach series, young readers take a journey along an Australian landmark. The descriptive language describes rivulets linking arms and mosaic floodplains, which perfectly contrasts the humorous illustrations of camping Bogong Moths, wine in a box and the correct positioning whilst in a canoe. An emphasis is also placed on the river’s role in sustaining farms and feeding the population, educating readers about the importance of conservation. On the River is recommended for readers aged 5 to 10 years and I highly recommend the entire educational and highly entertaining At the Beach series. The books are a great resource for teachers too!
In this bold, colourful exploration of shapes, young readers discover the endless possibilities that exist when shapes are moved around, mixed up and reshaped. Readers are asked to guess what the shapes are creating, from prickly hedgehogs to slithering snakes. With counting, colour, pattern, size, shape and a plethora of playful language, Shapes, Reshape! is both educational and lots of fun. Shapes, Reshape! is recommenced for readers aged 2 and over who will thoroughly enjoy this interactive animal adventure and will be turning the pages excitedly to reveal the animals as they grow larger and more ferocious with each page.
by
REVIEWED The Little Reading Room
thelittlereadingroom.com.au july 2016 | mychild
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TODDLER
Dummy THE
HOW TO GIVE IT UP!
WRITTEN BY JANA ANGELES july 2016 | mychild
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Known for its soothing qualities, the dummy has been your secret weapon when it comes to giving yourself a decent night’s sleep. Now that your child is growing older, it’s easy to feel concerned whether or not they’ll give the dummy up. Though it’s a little embarrassing to have your toddler still use it as a source to put themselves to sleep or for a quick cheer up, there are plenty of ways to finally give the dummy up once and for all. Being creative can really bring out the best in motherhood. Reported by the Brisbane Times, Sunshine Coast Mother, Grete Bensen came up with a clever idea for her little boy to give up the dummy. Paving way for a strong farewell, she decided to place the dummy on a toy boat, leaving it to float away down the creek. Emma Jensen managed to stumble upon the toy boat, reading the letter attached to it saying: “This dummy belongs to Joe Bensen. He no longer needs the dummy anymore because he is a big boy. The dummy is floating away for a new baby.” Parents will find anything for their child to give up the dummy. There are downsides when it comes to using the dummy for too long. These include: * It prevents your child from breastfeeding properly especially if they’ve been using it in the first 4-6 weeks of life. * They have a higher risk of contracting respiratory and middle ear infections.
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* Babies are more likely to depend on the dummy especially when it comes to sleeping. * It could lead to a higher chance for your child to have dental problems further into childhood. And mind you, the costs can go through the roof! * The crying will not stop if they’re taken away. Dummies act as a soother for babies, especially when they become very upset. * A dummy is a huge deal for a baby so misplacing or losing it can be a total nightmare. It’s recommended that you gradually take away the frequent use of the dummy when your child is 8 months of age. Even with the downsides, there are also a number of benefits when using the dummy which include: * Sucking on a dummy can be a great strategy when it comes to keeping them settled. * Using a dummy when they sleep or when it’s nap time reduces their risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) * They create a soothing effect on babies, keeping them calm and harmonious. People come up with brilliant ideas and these can turn into innovative inventions made just for parents. An American mum managed to be one of the lucky ones as her paediatric dentist, Dr. Alene D’Alesio created the concept of ‘The Lily Method’. This resulted in five colour-coded
dummies which gradually reduce in size, decreasing the satisfaction for kids and easing the transition to a dummy-free life. “By the last daughter, she was off at step three. It became a non-issue in our house. Potty training became more difficult,” Alene said. This is currently sold at approximately $30 AUD but that’s without shipping (and knowing US international shipping rates, they don’t come cheap!). Rest assured, there are several other ways in which you can help your child ease off the dummy. This can be a cheaper alternative to ‘The Lily Method’. Here are a couple of things you should try if you are on the verge of throwing in the towel! * Get rid of the dummy early. Doctors have recommended that children should stop using their dummies at a young age. It’s much easier for your child to give up their dummy when their 8 months old compared to if they were 3 years of age. The earlier the better! * You have the power. Take it away. As a parent, you have the power and control to take away things from your child. Although it’s hard to see your child upset, looking at you with those “puppy eyes”, you have to be smart when it comes to negotiating with them. There’s no point yelling and getting angry at them. A good strategy would be is to tell them, “You’re a big boy/ girl now. Only babies use dummies.”
THEY CREATE A SOOTHING EFFECT ON BABIES, KEEPING THEM CALM AND HARMONIOUS.
* Make the dummy taste gross. You probably know already that nail-biters apply something unpleasant to stop them from biting. Same concept can be used for dummies. Go to your local pharmacist today and ask if there is a safe, bad-tasting product that can be applied to the dummy. It may work wonders for you! * “Give it away.” Get rid of the dummy and tell your child you’ll be giving it away. You can also mention that the “dummy-fairy” will collect it and in return they can get any present they want. The present will act as a perfect incentive! * Gradually take it away. Use the dummy only when your child is sleeping or during nap time. This will make the transition much easier if they use the dummy during specific times.
* Be evil. Poke a tiny hole in it. You can alter the dummy by poking an invisible hole in the tip of it. This can make your child dissatisfied with the dummy and may give it up if they find it’s no use to them anymore. Safety note: Please take care of altering the dummy and supervise your child when using it. It may pose as a choking hazard if not altered properly. * “Lose” it. Pretend to lose the dummy. Act as if there’s nothing you can do about it. Whoops. * Story time! There’s actually book titles on giving up the dummy. We recommend ‘Bea Gives Up Her Dummy’ by Jenny Album. Reading stories on giving up the dummy can inspire and encourage your child to do the same.
* Be natural. Let them give it up themselves. Some parents prefer this method, and that’s totally fine. Your child can eventually learn to give it up themselves, and it may be more rewarding as a parent for you to witness that. The dummy can be the enemy but as parents, we can remind ourselves how resilient and persistent we can be when it comes to doing the right things for our kids. Just remember that if nothing seems to work, there’s always a brand new day waiting around the corner. If it doesn’t happen today, try again tomorrow. You’ve got nothing to lose!
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WORDS CAN BITE WRITTEN BY SHEREE ECHLIN
WRITTEN BY: SHEREE ECHLIN
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You stinky mummy”. Well that’s what my lovely toddler has told me a few times recently. I’ve proceeded to sniff under my arms and reply with “no I don’t”. But of course she has to wrinkle up her nose in disgust and repeat her statement again. Either that or she walks around sniffing the air and asking what smells. Feeling a little self conscious and retreating back to my teenage years, I tuck my arms closer to my sides, knowing full well I don’t smell but hey if a toddler speaks, it must be the truth right?! It’s amazing how easily the little people in our lives can transport us back to reality with a thud, just by throwing a few words out there. Out of the mouths of babes rings very true in our lives at the moment and can both instill laughter (muffled at times of course!) or never ending frustration. Isn’t it funny how you can say the same sentence ten times over and not one word sinks in but the second you accidentally let slip a naughty little word and it suddenly becomes their most favourite word ever?! Or if I dare suggest turning the television off our little lady snaps straight to attention like a band aid has been ripped off! Cue toddler meltdown and lots of gibberish follows. But if I have learnt anything in a very short time, it really does pay to gloss over the small stuff. Don’t make a big deal and life goes on as normal. But if you make a big deal out of something watch out, it can come back to haunt you. Surprisingly toddlers actually do remember things,
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but usually when it suits them of course. As our ‘trying’ toddler grasps even more words in the English language, life has certainly changed. Rather than spend half the day talking to myself, I get to have a conversation with someone. It can be sweet or funny, confusing or even confronting but other times I’m still in awe of how much our little humans are really capable of. We moved on from being stinky (although this has popped up again) to being told to “take a breath mummy”. I almost did a double take when Miss Izzie said this to me, as I often hear it from my husband instead! He of course thinks it’s hilarious every time she says it now. While I cop it on the chin feeling like I’m in trouble (what else is new?!). “No! Stop! I can’t!”. I hear these words a lot as I’m sure many parents do. My own fault really as from very early on they were flying out of my mouth to prevent Miss Izzie from getting into any mischief! Well it worked for five seconds and of course the tables have turned. I especially love the hand in my face with the other on her hip, the turn of a head and all accompanied by “stop mummy”. Yep a lot of the time I have to muffle my laughter and put on a straight face, not always an easy feat with a cheeky toddler grinning and watching for my reaction. But I must admit one I do love hearing is “don’t worry mummy” especially if it’s followed by a cheeky toddler giggle.
Or by far my favourite words are still “I love you too”, especially when it’s accompanied by an unsuspecting cuddle. Never underestimate the power of a hug from your own kids, it says so much more than you could ever imagine (yeah I know I’m getting soppy now). It’s not all bad in the world of parenting. We have had some profound moments that make my heart swell with pride but I laugh a little bit on the inside as well. We were playing outside when Miss Izzie suddenly spotted the moon. I swear she has super powers when it comes to her eyesight! After pointing it out she then asks me “can I touch it mummy?!” I had to keep a straight face and explain it was too far away and you needed a rocket ship to get there. I’m glad that was enough of an explanation for her as she kept playing after that. Science really wasn’t my strong point back in high school!
As I often do when I write about my toddler encounters, I think of my own beautiful mum and what she would have done in the same or similar situation. Right now she’s probably laughing and thinking karma! And to think this is all really just the beginning….
Jump online and check out more of the fun at shereeechlin.com and enjoy a giggle or two at Sheree’s expense.... She’s used to it! july 2016 | mychild
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Birth PREPARING FOR
Written by Anvi Sharma 32
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PREGNANCY
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LABOUR OVERVIEW After about 40 weeks of being pregnant, labour is possibly the most exciting, and also daunting stage. As much as it’s important to rest and relax, preparing for labour is key and it’s never too early to start. Here are some things to consider to avoid getting stressed later down the line.
PHYSICAL PREPARATION
Study up by reading all those pregnancy and birthing books - looking up information on the internet, watch videos and talk to doctors. The more you know about the process, the less scary it is. Just remember that no matter how much you learn and prepare, things might not always go exactly as planned.
Physical preparation will help you endure the labour process, which can be very exhausting for many women and can last a long time. Daily light exercise is proven to help the body prepare for labour. You can do Kegel exercises, squats, stretches and yoga. Yoga can help women focus, as well as increasing strength and flexibility. It also helps to relax your mind and put it at ease. Standing, walking, kneeling and sitting (upright positions) can help move the baby downwards.
BIRTHING CLASSES
MENTAL PREPARATION
You can learn more on birthing and labour by taking a birth class. The courses can teach you about options for pain management, breathing & relaxation tips, breastfeeding, how to care for the baby, information on medical equipment & procedures, and more. Find a class that suits you, but keep in mind that childbirth classes tend to fill up quickly so try to book early. Some courses run for 12 weeks, so you’ll need to start them in your second trimester.
Everyone’s going to be telling you what to do, what not to do and everything else in between. Try and tune out excessive or negative advice from your mind as negative thoughts can take over, making your labour experience even more stressful and painful. Stay away from those labour and pregnancy horror stories online too!
BIRTH PLAN
• Stock up on essentials from the pharmacy e.g. maxi pads, newborn nappies, wipes and any medical supplies or toiletries.
LEARNING ABOUT THE BIRTHING PROCESS
There any many ways you can give birth; natural birth, epidurals, C-sections, water births, hypnobirthing and more. It’s important to consider which option you think would be the best option. Having a birth plan helps not only you, but also your partner and other involved members such as the doctor, nurses etc. When the time comes, it’s a good thing to be prepared and know exactly what you want going into labour. This includes thinking about whether you want to have a natural birth, if you want pain relief medication, the kind of support you want, who you want in the room with you and if you prefer medical intervention over a long labour. Again, it’s important to remember that you can’t control every aspect of giving birth. WHERE TO GIVE BIRTH Giving birth in a hospital seems like it would be the obvious option for many – but home birthing is also increasingly popular; ask your doctor about 34
the different options. You can also have your baby in a birthing centre instead of a hospital. You should do whatever you feel comfortable with, keeping in mind what the doctor says and what is best for the baby. There are some risks with home births, so make sure you choose a midwife if you’re going down this route.
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CHECKLIST OF THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU GIVE BIRTH
• Restock the fridge and pantry with healthy and easy foods such as fruits, vegetables and other pre-made healthy alternatives • Pay your bills in advance as it’s easy to forget about them when the baby arrives. Direct debit is a godsend! •
Finish up at your workplace make sure everyone knows that you’re leaving. Set up an out-ofoffice email, leave work for whoever needs to do it and tie up any loose ends.
• Install the car seat in advance to make sure it fits and get it checked by a professional to ensure it’s safe. •
Clean your house - you surely won’t have time to do it once the baby arrives. It will make coming home a lot less stressful, and you’ll be prepared for all the photo ops with your little one and inevitable guests.
• Do any last-minute baby shopping for clothes or necessary items. •
Prepare the older siblings and pets for the newcomer in the family. There are many ways to help your children get ready for a new baby brother or sister; some hospitals and centres have sibling classes offered. Pets can also attend pre-baby preparation classes.
A brief checklist of what to take to the hospital: • Your birth plan and maternity notes if you have any. • Medicare card, health insurance, any required forms or hospital paperwork •
Clothes – you’ll want something comfortable to slip into like a dressing gown, nightdress or old t-shirt, as well as clothes to wear home. You’ll also want to bring some old, maternity or disposable underwear.
• Slippers and non-skid socks – your feet can become cold during labour. • Lip balm or chap stick – hospitals can make your lips dry. • Plenty of food and drinks – light snacks and healthy food is always good. • Cash – in case hospital food is terrible and you want a little something from the vending machines. • A hairband to tie your hair up during labour. • Pain relief medication – as long as it’s OK with the doctor. • Toiletries, hair brush, tissues, massage oils and creams. • A good camera or phone to take pictures for the baby’s arrival. • Nursing bras, breast pads and nipple cream. • A car seat in your car – you won’t be able to take your baby home in the car if you don’t have a car seat. • Baby clothes – an outfit for the trip home is a must, something comfortable and easy to put on. • Warm blanket for the baby – they’re more sensitive to the cold. * Mobile phone and charger.
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CELEBRITY INTERVIEW
motherood The passion of
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Exclusive interview with
Toni Pearen Known for her roles in E-Street and Home and Away, Toni Pearen has showcased over the years how ambitious she is when it comes to following her heart and passion in life. Being strongly invol ved in the entertainment industry, she has undertaken roles which have brought her personal satisfaction as a career-oriented individual. Besides being in show business, she has had to tackle another challenging role; being a mother. Slowly getting back into work with Channel 10’s reality TV show, Let’s Do Coffee, she shares how her priorities have changed since having kids.
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“When you get a good night’s sleep, you certainly feel like you can take on the world the following day,”
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“It’s difficult especially when you’re very career-orientated,” She says when talking about her experience with motherhood. “I always put my career before everything in my life and then I had children. I was surprised how the priorities I had before changed. I’ve never really had to nurture anything in my life apart from myself, so it’s been really interesting for me. I’m feeling very inspired and very creative so I feel like motherhood has brought out my creativity too.” Due to having a very career-focused life, Pearen shared why having kids was something that never really crossed her mind. Because of her strong passion for her work, she had many goals she wanted to achieve before settling down. It wasn’t until losing a loved one, having a life with no children became an unfeasible option to her. “In 2008, my mother died and that’s when I decided to be a parent,’ She explains. “Before my mum died, having children was not on the top of my list which was really strange. As soon as she passed away, it changed for me. I think just subconsciously, or even unconsciously, I knew that I wanted to become a mum because I lost mine. Even my husband and I never talked about having kids. I never thought about having kids - we never discussed it and then my whole world changed after my mum died.” It’s heartbreaking knowing that she never received the support she needed from her mother; her sole caregiver, the person she could rely on and the one person that could comfort her in times of need. Although her journey throughout life has been an unexpected ride of challenges, she still had the support of her mother-in-law to get through the tough ruts. “My mother-in-law has been incredibly supportive and knows what it’s been like for me to be a mother without a mother,” She says. “She raised four boys on a big property, so she’s had a totally different experience. It was a really lonely time but I’ve also gained a lot of strength from it knowing that my mum is looking down from up above and
being proud of the woman I’ve become; the priorities that I’ve made and the everyday changes I’ve made in myself. Some days it really affects me. Everyday is different and I wish she was here more times than others but you know, she raised me well to be a strong woman so that’s what it’s been.” Through her loss, Pearen has learnt the inner workings of being a mother; how the decisions she makes affects her family and day-to-day life. Not only that but she’s become incredibly resilient despite how challenging her life has posed to be, and this in return has shaped her into undertaking the role of being a mother with such grace and integrity. In the end, it paid off. “When you get a good night’s sleep, you certainly feel like you can take on the world the following day,” She says on her experience with raising her kids. “Having two so close in age is tough but when you see them together and loving each other, you know they’ll always have one another and nurturing that relationship is important. It’s those simple moments for me as a mother where I see their relationship growing makes my heart melt the moment I sleep at night.” And even from those quality moments, she still worries about the simplest things; how much they look up to her at such a young age and the delicate stage in life they’re experiencing; their childhood. Pearen claims that although her natural instincts as a mother makes her think ahead of the future, she finds that the most rewarding part of her role is how she’s able to nurture her kids while they grow up. “I find it rewarding that I could offer so much love to them,” She says when talking about the best parts of being a parent. “I really am their everything and they look to me for everything and sometimes, that can be really daunting and overwhelming but it’s amazing that somehow you find the answers - whether it’s the right or wrong ones. Your child is everything and that’s what I find the most rewarding for myself; trusting that somehow we’ll make it through this together.” july 2016 | mychild
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REALATIONSHIP
Life
PARENTING
IS FOR
Written by Jana Angeles
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5 Important lessons parents need to know! Parenting is for life. There’s no doubt about that. There are many sacrifices we make for our children, and as they grow older, we hope they can be responsible and capable adults (like us!). As parents, it’s normal to feel like we should protect our little ones from the hurt and pain of life. We can only support our children when they grow up and teach them how to be compassionate and selfless individuals. And although a priority of ours is to put our children’s needs before our own, we also need to take the time out as parents and take care of ourselves; to do the things that make us happy. As humans, we are inevitable in making mistakes and sometimes in our best interest, we expect so much from our children to be the best they can be. There’s no such thing as a “perfect” child or parent. We need to keep in mind that how we impact our children is what moulds them into the individuals they become. The decisions we make, what we value as people and how we treat our friends and family is something your child will look up to. In essence, we need to be careful in assuming the worst in our children. As parents, we can only provide the best care and guidance to the best of our abilities. There are some important lessons to know while parenting our children. Of course, each parent learns different things every day and we respect those who do. But here are some crucial ones you can take on board while you witness your child growing up. Avoid worshipping your children. Let them know the difference between being selfish and selfless. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment with your children when they’re young. When they’re babies, life becomes about them. It’s important to realise that as parents, we should avoid worshipping our children and help them understand the difference between being selfish and selfless. We should avoid letting ourselves prioritising their needs all-thetime as they grow up. We don’t want them to grow into self-centred individuals. Help them realise the importance of showing compassion and respect to other people and telling them that putting the needs of others before their own is also important too. july 2016 | mychild
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Perfection doesn’t exist. As mentioned earlier in this article, we as humans make mistakes. We aren’t programmed to be perfect individuals, although some people strive to be; maybe as a working professional but as a parent? Never. It’s okay to show disappointment in your children when they make a mistake but to make them feel guilty over it won’t work. As parents, it’s our responsibility to effectively communicate what we expect from our children and if they do make a mistake, we must take the time to sit them down and help them understand the consequences of their actions. We’re their family, not their friends. A common saying in life is ‘family is everything’ and as we provide for our children on a daily basis, it truly does amount to that. They come home to us, they eat with us, they play with us and as the years go by, we share a special connection with each other. Parents sometimes mistake the fact that they need to have their child’s approval at all times and become their “best friend”; we have the ability to create this platform of happiness for them, but when it comes to being angry with the decisions we make? We should let them feel that anger. In the end, we aren’t there to please them and get their approval. When they aren’t happy with a responsible decision we’ve made in our lives, we should allow them to realise that not everything has to happen their way. Make the most of their childhood - they won’t be small forever! There are days during parenthood where we wish our children were older - then life would be easier right?! Of course, they will be eventually but there will be aspects to childhood that we’ll miss. We’ll miss their unlimited cuddles, their ongoing imagination when it comes to playtime, their way of saying the most random things and making us laugh. We forget as parents that we should cherish these moments with our little ones now rather than later. Be strongly involved in their childhood; your involvement as a 42
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parent in that stage is more important than you know. Don’t mould your child’s future. Be their guiding light. It’s tempting to dictate the choices of your child because ‘you know what’s best for them’ right? As a parent, we must realise that the course of our actions and the way we treat our children impact them for the rest of their lives. You can only provide them with the guidance and skills to approach life’s challenges. Especially when they reach the teenager life stage, you need to put faith in your child that they make the decisions that they’re happy with. Never feel the need to put pressure on your child’s life. Always provide them with the best advice possible and let them know you have their support no matter what. It’s not your place to mould their future; give them the power to make decisions for themselves when they get older.
Parenthood is a beautiful journey and how you undertake the journey is subjective to each individual. Always remember that most of us are winging it and no parent is perfect. We can only offer our children the love and support they need to be prepared for the world and its challenges. We cannot protect them from everything; we can only do our best to be prepared for this crazy thing called life.
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REAL READ
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ruby & ollies PART TWO An incredible story of how two Mum’s are Changing Long Day Care Centres.
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I
grew up in the UK but my mum is Australian and I have family here, so I moved here in 1999. My first stop was Byron Bay where my aunt lived, and that’s where I met my daughters’ dad. We moved to Sydney and then to Brisbane where I worked at Griffith University for about eight years in a range of positions, from admin to working with students. I ended up working with the School of Criminology which I loved. I had about six months off when Sophie was born and then went back to work part-time, doing three days a week in the office. My parents moved to Brisbane in 2004 so they helped out with Sophie. And then two years later, in July 2009 when Sophie was two years old, I had Ruby – and within four months my life turned upside down. Ruby was a beautiful, easy going text book baby, but at about nine weeks old something went off, like a light switch really. She went off feeding, she started going really rigid in the body and there was non-stop screaming. I was told it could be colic, or reflux, and we tried different medications. As the weeks went on she started having little eye rolls, and we went from the doctor to the paediatrician to the neurologist. The MRI’s started, the EEG’s started – and at first she was diagnosed with epilepsy. My world just fell apart – I felt like there was a huge hole and I had been sucked up into it. I didn’t know anyone who’d had epilepsy so I didn’t understand it, but I thought she could have medication and it would be manageable. We trialled medication but nothing worked – it would make her sleep but the seizures didn’t stop. She screamed for four years, 24/7. Non stop. There were times when Sophie who was so young would have her hands on her ears crying ‘mummy, please make it stop’. The nurses couldn’t do anything, the doctors couldn’t do anything and at that moment I made the decision – I had to have faith and just keep going. It would have been easier to just run away, to give up. I just didn’t want to see her in pain. The months went on and we tried all sorts of medication until I saw a naturopath – and she was like an angel who’d been sent from heaven to help me. She said ‘it’s okay, we can do this’. And she gave me hope. We have seen improvements in Ruby over the last few years. The screaming stopped on the 28th of May 2013, just like a flash, and we still don’t know why the pain stopped. She’s now more aware of her surroundings. When I walk into her room in the morning and she’s just lying there, she
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hears my voice saying ‘hello Ruby’ and she has a huge smile. While she doesn’t make eye contact she knows that you’re there. She adores her sister and knows when she’s around. They’re beautiful together and Sophie’s really protective. She sees the differences that are in front of her, but that’s all. That’s what I love and that’s what I teach, and that’s why I established Ruby & Ollie’s – so that siblings can be together and can learn and grow together. I was looking after Ruby full time but I did need some time out. When I looked around there was nothing. What I wanted, and what a lot of parents in similar situations wanted, was somewhere where the siblings could be together. Purely from the frustration of not having anything like this available, I started Hummingbirds Early Intervention and Education Service in February 2013. Everything fell into place and I found a home where I could live upstairs with the girls and we could run a family day care service from downstairs. It all happened really quickly. Over the next 18 months we helped 16 families, and one of the mothers was Leah who is now my business partner in Ruby & Ollie’s. In late 2014 Leah and I decided to make a fresh start. We wanted to leave a legacy for our children – and so Ruby & Ollie’s was born. Our aim is to have a centre that offers a holistic approach to education and care for children under school age and for children of all abilities. It’s all about children learning at a pace that’s natural for them. It’s encouraging them to feel safe, to feel listened to, to be heard. We have one large centre but we are looking to open smaller centres to meet the needs of families all around Brisbane. As a mum, having two children and running a business has its challenges. I’ve always been a good multi-tasker. I have lots of to do lists. I work at night when the girls have gone to bed – I’m a night owl so I love working at night. I’m currently studying as well, training as a professional life coach so I can help parents and care givers who have a child with a disability. So they can move forward and not dwell on their circumstances. A lot of parents do reach a stage where they just get it, they accept it, and they just want to get their life balance back. Sometimes it still doesn’t register that I have my own business. I feel so fulfilled in what I’m doing that it
doesn’t feel like work. I’m writing a book and I write a blog, about the journey of Ruby and realising there’s a Ruby is everything. No matter how hard things can get and how down you feel, if you look for even the smallest thing, there’s always a hidden gem somewhere that you can choose to just grab and go with and see the beauty in it. The Shark Tank experience was amazing. It came at a time when we were banging our heads against brick walls trying to get funding and recognition in the local community, working through the policies that just didn’t work for what we wanted to do. We just did it – we had a reminder about the closing date and sent in the submission on the Friday and then on the Monday we had a call from them saying that they loved our story. It rolled on from there and it was kind of surreal at the time. We had a few months to prepare ourselves for the show which we filmed in early December 2014 and then it aired in March 2015. It was a daunting lead up but on the day everything just happened so quickly, and we were so used to telling our story that it just came naturally. I didn’t even see the cameras, I just saw the chance to tell our story to five amazing people. We had two Sharks invest with us, and they are great mentors and we’re learning so much from them - it was definitely a life changing moment because of the exposure. Ruby & Ollie’s All Abilities Childcare stems from our passionate hearts. Irrespective of a child’s developmental requirements we welcome all children. We celebrate the enjoyment of life and lightness of being. We believe each child who is challenged with a disability is just trapped in their body, and we will do all we can to help them come out of their shell. We stand by our vision that children are all unique and we will work with each child to encourage them to reach their full potential… and then aim for the stars. Written by: Melanie Quirk Photos: Someday Somehow Studios www.rubyandollies.com.au www.facebook.com/rubyandollieschildcare Interview courtesy of Business Mamas (www. businessmamas.com.au) For the full interview and the stories of other inspiring mums in business: www.fiftytwoweeksblog.com.au
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BABY
Baby Routines
Adjusting Life for Your Newest Family Member
WRITTEN BY JANA ANGELES
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Baby routines are an important part of raising your newborn. When it comes to structuring their day, setting up an effective feeding, sleeping and bathing routine will help them feel safe and protected while growing up. Because babies have the tendency to have different sleeping schedules, learning their cues when it’s time to feed and sleep can help you keep up a routine that will work for your baby and yourself.
After their naps, make sure you feed them afterwards. • Being simple with your routine can help your baby feel comfortable for sleeping time. • Avoid doing anything active with your baby during the late afternoon/early night as this will lower their chances of having a quality sleep during nighttime. • If your baby is struggling to fall asleep, learn some settling strategies that could potentially calm down your baby especially after crying for long periods of time. Cuddling and comforting them can help. Wrapping your baby in a lightweight cotton or muslin can also assist them with settling.
As reported by Sydney Morning Herald, Author Tizzie Hall has attracted many readers with her baby advice book Save Our Sleep. With the success of the 2006 book title, she has managed to inspire other parents with her advice books and has a known passion for babies since the death of her brother, Richard. One of the principles she’s addressed in Save Our Sleep is how crucial it is to establish a routine for babies. She notes how reflecting natural patterns for your baby can help them feel safe and at-ease when they have a sense of predictability in their feeding and sleeping times. Furthermore, her book has helped parents understand the difference between a tired cry and a hungry cry.
Feeding
From this, we learn that having routines for your babies can help you share a stronger bond with each other, allowing you to feel close to them when it comes to their bathing, feeding and sleeping times. Of course, setting up a routine can take a lot of time and patience but with enough persistence, you can make it work for your baby, resulting in them having a regular schedule which will allow them to sleep and feed better. The key to baby routines is to follow the lead of your child when it comes to their sleeping, feeding and playing times. As long as they follow a similar order, this will help them keep up the momentum of said routine. Here are some tips to follow to set up an effective routine for your baby:
Sleeping •
Keeping your baby awake all day won’t help them sleep better at night. Daytime naps are essential but make sure they don’t sleep longer than four hours (it’s recommended to have naps that go for 1.5 to 2 hrs) a stretch.
• • • • •
Feeding your baby every 2-4 hours will help them sleep effectively after a good feed. If you either breastfeed your child or use baby formula, feeding plays an important part in your baby’s routine as it establishes that close mother-to-baby bond. It’s important to start with feeding first when you’re repeating the cycle of your routine. A feed should approximately last for 45 minutes. After feeding your baby, sit them upright for a while. Your baby needs about 6 to 8 feeds every 24 hours. This includes overnight feeds.
Playing • Playtime is important to for your baby’s mental and physical development. • Having your baby participate in activities such as going for walks, baths and cuddles can be considered as playtime. • Playtime should only last up until you see your baby feeling tired. Playtime for young babies shouldn’t last too long. They normally last for 10-20 minutes. • It’s okay to do different activities every day for your baby. As long as each play time falls roughly around the same time during the routine. As life progresses, we need to remember as parents that we aren’t perfect and even if we haven’t picked up a routine for our baby just yet, it helps to remember that all babies are different; they grow and progress at their own pace. In an idealised world, baby routines would be the norm but in reality, having a little spontaneity can help us adapt to the challenges along the way with our little ones. All we can really do is be prepared for what comes next. july 2016 | mychild
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REAL READ
BREAKING Part 1
A heart breaking story of a mothers struggle living with domestic violence WRITTEN BY CHERIE TILLEY 52
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Australia is taking a stand against Domestic Violence. For a long time this topic has been seen as social taboo. Something not openly talked about and mistakenly made shameful of. With frightening statistics showing an increase in family violence in Australia, now is the time to make a serious statement about where we stand. My daughter will not be a statistic and neither will my granddaughter. But let’s not be misleading here. My sons will not be perpetrators but they will not be victims themselves either. Domestic Violence affects both genders and all children involved. Together we can change the way we all treat each other, by no longer accepting such repulsive human behaviour. One Woman shares her story, because it’s not just her story. It could be yours. What if it was your daughters’ secret shame? This isn’t a pretty story, but it’s a story that has to be told, because if it wasn’t told, then it would be like it never happened at all, His mind has gone to dust now and eventually my body will too. My children will have a gap in their history if it is not. They will not know what was endured and had to be overcome; to finally be free of the life that was looking destined for us. I want to teach them about respect, respect for themselves - not just the ones they claim to love but for all people. I want this tale to teach them about holding on, about letting go, about what Real Love is and should be. They must understand that change is possible even when others lose hope and I want them to truly appreciate every moment of their lives. This is a True Story of betrayal, so don’t expect a happy fairy-tale ending. Ten Long Years Ago I was only 19, working many hours as a waitress, juggling night study and pursuing my dreams of becoming a Journalist. The world was certainly my oyster. I loved my job, working with people and I was at a happy point in my life after ending a previous bad relationship. He was 20 and had just been given the job of Head Chef at my restaurant. Within a few
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months, we were good friends and we hung out most days; having nights out with our joint friends from work and enjoying getting to know each other. He turned 21 and broke up with his girlfriend; they were heading in different directions in life, and he decided to head to Bali alone for a few weeks. When he returned we continued to talk. I mentioned I was looking at booking an overseas holiday myself and he suggested we explore Bali together as he was keen to return. Next thing you know, I paid for the tickets and we left for a month in Bali. This was 2004. Bali was paradise. He talked to me about his future plans and how he had promised me the world; I laugh about it now thinking how naive I must’ve been back then. There were probably red flags about him I should’ve paid attention to. He wasn’t good enough for me. I paid for most of the trip, even though we went as friends. I was extremely relaxed back then and didn’t care about the thousands of dollars of I spent from my savings. He probably thought my mother was funding the trip as I didn’t realise then, that his mother had funded his previous trip. In reality, he had nothing to show for all his years of “hard work”. Regardless, we returned a happy couple and starting making plans for the future. He returned to his hometown on the coast of NSW and started to look for a place to live. We found a brand new unit to rent and moved from Sydney in September 2004. Things were great at first; we set up the place with some new furniture and I moved a lot of my things from home, I had a three bedroom townhouse in Sydney and everything to fill it. We were set up in luxury apartments walking distance to town. I had my Mitsubishi Mirage and life was looking exciting. I loved the smaller coastal town life and was happy to make it my home. I felt bad leaving my family in Sydney, particularly because I was close with my brothers but at the same time, I was lavished by the opportunity to start fresh. His behaviour began to change straight away. He would look out of the windows as if people were watching him. I don’t remember
us fighting much, I just watched as he quickly changed and he soon became someone I couldn’t trust. I know I’m not a stupid person when it comes to being deceived; it’s a gift but a curse. We didn’t have the same money as we used to because he stopped working. I was paying for everything and that’s when things didn’t feel right. I should have spoken to my mum more but I felt like I didn’t have the time to sit down and talk. I didn’t have any friends as I had left them behind, and the opportunity to make new ones wasn’t easy in a small town. It was Christmas day where we had our first physical fight; it conjures up images of both parties equally contributing to an incident. I was cooking us breakfast in the kitchen. He started carrying on that his Christmas gifts weren’t good enough. He assumed I would be flashy and treat him to all sorts of things in his imagination. I had bought about seven gifts which I thought were perfect, but for him, they weren’t expensive enough. I don’t even remember what he bought me. Standing in the kitchen cooking Eggs Benedict by myself, he comes into the kitchen still carrying on about the gifts. My hands were busy and I certainly wasn’t expecting it , I don’t know what exactly happened but next thing I was poked hard in the eye from behind and my left eye started to bleed. I covered my face to stop the blood running all over the new tiles and carpet and went to the bathroom to see what the hell happened. It was obvious that I was crying yet he still had the nerve to yell at me. I went to the hospital that Christmas day alone; my eye black and blue, bleeding from the eyelid. I returned home that Christmas day alone and spent the day by myself with sunglasses on, trying to cover my face. I was ashamed on what he had done to me. I had been in a bad relationship before and I didn’t want to admit I had begun another one. In retrospect, I should have realised and RUN. I feel so stupid now looking back; I’ve had the same memories all this time and they seem so appalling now. I’m disgusted with my past self for making such a huge mistake, but that wasn’t the worst part.
In January, I found out I was pregnant. This was shocking news as I was taking contraception. I had been feeling off for a few weeks but we were having problems so I thought that was taking a toll on my health. When I visited my mum, my mum forced me to take a pregnancy test just to reassure her. It was morning sickness and I didn’t even know it. Pregnant at 20. I left her place in shock to drive home and talk to him. The trip home was a nightmare; all these thoughts were running through my head alone. When I got home he went through my bag. I was accused of doing all sorts of deviated things whilst I was away and then I told him I was I was pregnant. He punched me in the lower back, right where my kidneys were. I’ll never forget the pain I felt when I went down on the floor. I tried getting back up after several moments of excruciating pain. I just couldn’t stand straight. I walked in a hunch for about three weeks. I didn’t visit a chiropractor or a physiotherapist because I didn’t want to explain the cause of injury. I don’t know why I didn’t leave him but I felt like I couldn’t leave because I was now pregnant. Over the next few weeks things, became terrible between us. We were constantly fighting over the pregnancy and what to do about it. I didn’t have a choice. I was having a termination. Because he hadn’t been working for few months, I was struggling to pay the rent so I started packing up my things to move back home. I wasn’t going to stay in the apartment because I didn’t even know what the future was held between me and him. My dad drove up from Sydney with a trailer to bring me home and I stayed at his place until I figured out my next move. He was never supposed to come with me but he acted like he had nowhere else to go and wanted to see out things with pregnancy. We decided to stay with dad for a few weeks until he attacked me again. He then took off to the train station, leaving me alone.
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I went through a rough time for a few weeks and ended up staying with my grandparents, I felt worthless that I had done such a thing and I didn’t know how to forgive myself. I don’t know why I took him back after he left like that, but I did. I was lost at the time, becoming more depressed everyday; we agreed to start off fresh. He wanted us to move to Melbourne to be closer to his mum. Melbourne was a place I had visited often and I loved the arty hippy culture of the city and after a few trips, I decided that would do it. We rented a vintage looking apartment in St Kilda; it was small but cute and I really liked how close it was to everything. We could cross the road to Coles and the pubs were on each corner, even though I’m not much of drinker myself. That was different; things in Melbourne were very different. I was suffering from depression and I wasn’t getting help. I didn’t look for a job straight away; I didn’t feel like I could just jump back into life. I tried to process the last year and I wasn’t coping. He hardly noticed or cared and he’d take off on his own secret missions - sometimes for hours on end, leaving me sitting up at night wondering if he was okay.
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He stole cans of paint from a well-known brand store across the road. He would use the paint for graffiti, only to get caught and arrested for vandalism by the Police. One time a Chef hog tied him to a milk crate until police arrived, to arrest him for the same thing. When he told me, I had to laugh. He had gone from being stupid to downright ridiculous. He would empty bank accounts at midnight within moments of getting paid and I didn’t even realise that his behaviour was mimicking someone who had an addiction problem. I had lived a very sheltered childhood so I didn’t know what to look for, but it was becoming more obvious to me. Something was terribly wrong. One time I followed him on a tram down Chapel Street into Richmond until I saw may2016 july 2016| |mychild mychild what he was up to. I felt like I had no
choice. He was taking all my money and I didn’t understand the situation. I didn’t understand what I was up against. I had never dealt with a problem like this in any social circle of mine before. It became so bad that I had to go pick him up from the police station twice for shoplifting one week. I had to fight him off to hide my bank card as I wanted to be able to afford to pay our rent and eat. I should have just left him there with the lot of my possessions and moved back home. I’m not sure why I thought I deserved to be with someone like that. By then, I was sure I loved him and wanted to save us from the mess he created; that’s a weakness in me, always trying to save people. I knew that I was pushing my luck. He had a knife to my chest demanding his precious drugs back. I knew he was serious but I didn’t really consider that he would do it. Push a knife into the chest of the woman he professed to love. But he did. TO BE CONTINUED...........
As parents, and as influencers of young people, we want the best for kids. We want them to have positive experiences, healthy relationships and opportunities to learn. We want them to understand right and wrong. We want them to respect others, and respect themselves. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 000. For sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling services call 1800RESPEC T on 1800 737 732 for 24/7 phone and online services. For more information please visit: www.respect.gov.au
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WHAT’S IN OUR STORES THIS MONTH BABY
GIRLS
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Patterned Bodysuit $8.95 rrp Quilted Hooded Jacket $27.95 rrp Juliet Jegging $24.95 rrp
Artificial Fur Vest $15.00 rrp Skinny Jeans $20.00 rrp Knit Jumper $25.00 rrp TARGET.COM.AU
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Casual Cardigan $46.00 rrp Fancy Knit Twisted Snood $19.95 rrp Long Sleeve Bolero $45.95 rrp
Knit Jumper $39.95 rrp Dress with Belt $44.96 rrp Biker jacket $34.95 rrp
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Knit Jacket $6 9.95 rrp Sweater dress $189.00 rrp
Button Knit Cape $79.95 rrp Trench Mini Me $682.00 rrp Junior Cable Tight $12.95 rrp
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BOYS Puffer Vest $20.00 rrp Biker Jeans $25.00 rrp Dinosuar Print T-Shirt $5.00 rrp
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COTTONON.COM.AU
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Knitted cotton jumper $14.95 rrp Trackpants $16.95 rrp
Raglan Sweat $44.95 rrp Stripe Crew $59.95 rrp Chino Pant $39.99 rrp Hi Top Sneaker $59.95 rrp
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Khaki Anorak $29.97 rrp Cotton Parka $34.95 rrp Woven Pants $44.95 rrp
SPLURGE Wool Duffle Coat $682.00 rrp Stone Jeans $545.00 rrp 62
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Melton Jacket $79.95 rrp Slim Jeans $134.00 rrp Desert Boot $53.97 rrp
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Settling babies everywhere This Australian designed portable mat provides a natural baby settling rhythm. The rhythmic bumping motion, by moving your stroller slowly over the mat, settles baby quickly into a restful state, if not a sleepy one. Sleep Rumbler can be used to: • Comfort your baby into a relaxed state when restless • Assist parents in teaching babies to self-settle • Encourage your baby to sleep for longer periods of time • Offer a non-medicated or complimentary option for settling your baby when ill or teething • Helping to calm babies with colic and/or reflux
“Sleep Rumbler has been a life & sanity saver!” Melissa with 6 month old Alex (reflux) and 3 year old Jack
www.sleeprumbler.com.au Distributed by Exquira, see www.exquira.com.au
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What to Do 66
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Written by Cath Hakanson
As a parent, you’re not alone, if you find yourself
having sex with one ear open whilst regularly monitoring the door for child-like intruders! Children do wake up in the middle of the night, and the chances of them walking in on you whilst having sex, are high. Getting caught can be pretty embarrassing, but knowing how to respond, before it happens, means that both you and child will survive the trauma!
What to do So what do you do when you see your child standing by the side of your bed? 1. Stop what you are doing Yes, you heard me, stop whatever it is that you happen to be doing, and throw some clothes on (unless your child is used to seeing you naked). 2. Return your child to their bedroom Return your child to their room quietly. Don’t think about saying anything immediately - you’ll either say too much or even the wrong thing! 3. Find out what they want & reassure them if scared If you want, you can ask your child what they want, eg a drink? If they ask a question about what you were doing, just say that you were both having some private /special /mummy & daddy time together. If they look scared, reassure them that you weren’t hurting each other (sex to a child can sound like mummy is being hurt). If they ask questions, keep your answers short and sweet.
leave it at that – it is up to you! If they are over five, your child will need further information. You can start the conversation with something like ‘Do you remember coming into our bedroom last night?’. If they remember, ask them what they think was happening. This way you can find out what they saw and how much they already know about sex. Let them know that they did nothing wrong and explain to them that you were having sex, which is something that mums and dads like to do. If they don’t remember, you should still explain what happened. Your child may be unsure about how to respond to your question. And if you haven’t yet spoken with your child about sex, then it is a great time to start!
How to prevent it There are a few things that you can do to prevent ‘getting sprung’! You can: • Install a lock on your door (and use it) • Talk to your kids about knocking before entering private spaces ie your bedroom, bathroom •
Model respectful behaviour by respecting your child’s privacy by knocking on their bedroom door before entering (you can start this with a 3 year old – tap on the door or call out ‘knock knock’ as you come in)
• Use soft lighting in the room so that your child won’t see as much
4. Talk about it the next day If they are under five you can be quite vague when talking about what happened. Casually say something like ‘I remember you coming into our bedroom last night’ and see what response you get.
•
If they remember, ask them what they think was happening. This way you can find out what they saw before you respond with an explanation. Just talk about how sometimes mums and dads like to do private things together and that if they felt scared, that there was no need to be scared.
Life goes on
Play soft music in the background or turn on the television to soften the sounds that you may make during sex (the television may even distract your child’s attention from what else is happening – what child isn’t distracted by the television on entering a room!)
Yes, it can be pretty embarrassing when your child catches you having sex, but it isn’t the end of the world! See it as an opportunity to start talking to your child about sex.
If they don’t remember a thing, you can just
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My Child Magazine readers can download a one page cheat sheet on what to do, from http://sexedrescue.com/mychild Biography Cath Hakanson is a mother, sex educator and founder of Sex Ed Rescue. Bringing her 20+ years clinical knowledge, a practical down-to-earth approach, and passion for helping families, Cath inspires parents to
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talk to their kids about sex so that kids can talk to their parents about anything! Sex Ed Rescue arms parents with the tools, advice and tips to make sex education a normal part of everyday life. https://www.facebook.com/Sxedrescue https://twitter.com/SexEdRescue
Sleep with greater peace of mind
BS2SC850
The next level of care. BabysenseTM2 Infant Respiratory Monitor continually monitors the breathing movement rate of your sleeping baby, while the 4.3" Secure850 Digital Video/Audio Baby Monitor places you virtually in the nursery. Oricom’s range of baby monitors are available from leading baby stores. Visit www.oricom.com.au to find your nearest stockist. Babysense2 is intended for use as an Infant Apnoea Alarm. ALWAYS READ THE LABEL AND USER GUIDE, USE ONLY AS DIRECTED.
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INTERIORS
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Interior styled by: White Fox Styling
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King Single Bed $339.00 rrp livingelements.com.au
Ice Cream Money Box $20.00 rrp vintagenostaglia.com.au Stool - Pink $12.00 rrp kmart.com.au
Quilt Cover Set $20.00 rrp target.com.au
Heavenly Pink Unicorn $38.00 rrp fishpond.com.au
Plant Pouch $30.00 rrp misspots.com.au Dinosaur Poster $59.00 rrp paradeandcompany.com
Budoni Cushions $40.00 rrp pilowtalk.com.au Round Rug, Pink $140.00 rrp zanul.com.au
Mocka Shadow Boxes $40.00 rrp mocka.com.au Super Kid Hanging Art $29.00 rrp paradeandcompany.com
Round Side Table $25.00 rrp target.com.au
Cat Pillowcase $36.00 rrp mysweetprints.com.au
Square Cushion $38.00 rrp justbedding.com.au
Crown Light $129.00 rrp littleletterlights.com.au
Gold Polka Dots $35.00 rrp vividwalldecals.com.au
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HEKTAR $19.95 rrp ikea.com.au
Felt Star $45.00 rrp notonthehighstreet.com
Pegboard Shelf $155.00 rrp confettitree.bigcartel.com
Cloud Sign $25.00 rrp paradeandcompany.com
Wall Stickers $29.00 rrp jimmycricket.com.au
Bashful Bunny $99.00 rrp seedheritage.com Baby Blanket $110.00 rrp homelycreatures.com.au
Kid’s Chair $29.00 rrp sokol.com.au
Knot Cushion $45.00 rrp www.littlelinteriors.bigcartel.com
Name Plate $60.00 rrp kasoobi.com.au
SINNERLIG $99.00 rrp ikea.com.au
Fox Cushion $30.00 rrp nellieandthecat.com
The Addison – Junior $600.00 rrp thislittleove.com.au
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Bag Storage $25.00 rrp tellkiddo.com
Natural Leather & White Bedside $150.00 rrp interiormotivesaus.com.au
Interior styled by: @kerryann_stylist
Chesterfeild Chair $749.00 rrp brosa.com.au
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BONDING WITH YOUR BABY TIPS FOR DADS WITH THEIR NEWBORNS
By: Olivia Arrow
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DAD READ
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Many people can overlook the importance of the father-baby bond. Within minutes or days of the birth, some dads may feel an immediate bond with their newborn and for some, it may take a little longer. If you don’t get that feeling of instant love and you have a strong desire in showering your baby with affection, don’t panic. It’s perfectly normal and your baby won’t suffer if you don’t feel that strong bond at first. Bonding can be complicated and it can take time. Having a little human enter your life and turn it upside down with their irregular routine presents its own set of challenges. Add that to the long list of things that you may also be experiencing, like supporting your partner with her recovery from birth (cooking, cleaning and being a personal 78
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butler for those extra pillows needed, to nipple cream which happens to be downstairs on the coffee table conveniently at 2am!), as well as the new norm of sleep deprivation; it’s overwhelming to all embarking the journey of parenthood. It may seem that taking time to bond with your baby is taking a backburner, but rest assured, you already are bonding with your baby by making sure their basic needs are being met and you are cuddling with them on a regular basis. Bonding with your baby is important and your role as a dad is just as vital as a mother’s; besides the act of nursing the baby, dads can do everything else. Soothing, cuddling and playing with your bub is a way that can build a unique connection with your newborn and it’s not as hard as you think.
Here we list some tips to help you build a deeper connection with your newborn: • • •
Have some skin-to-skin contact time – this should help you read your baby’s unique cues for hunger or stress and become central to the caring team. Look into your baby’s eyes when bottle feeding - if your baby is breastfed, have your partner express milk so that you can help with the baby’s feeding schedule. Night shift is a great way to bond with your baby; you will learn how to soothe your baby and get to have some precious alone time. It also allows mum to catch up on some much-needed rest. Make sure you have a few bottles at hand for night feeds.
• Try soothing your unsettled baby by singing, talking, walking or gently rocking; these are a few ways to help soothe a baby. Your need to teach your baby can also soothe you and mum. • Nappy changing can be a little smelly at times and it may seem easier handing this over to mum. However, this is a great time to bond with your bub as you can have a little chat and make silly sounds while they get a fresh nappy. • Establishing a routine for playtime is a great way to bond with your baby. When you get home from work, you can play with your little one by making silly faces, sing or turning on some music and dancing around the house (don’t worry, they won’t judge you on your 90’s moves). Your baby will soon come to expect this when you get home and seeing their face light up is priceless. • Get involved in the bedtime routine; take on bath time duties and give your baby a bath each night. This will help your baby identify when bedtime is. • Babies love to be touched and held. When your baby is happy, try giving your baby a massage for 10-15 mins. Gently rub your bub’s legs, arms, belly and neck to help them relax. • When your bub is unwell, take a sick day so that you can nurture them back to health; it’s important that they know you’re there too. Going to doctor’s appointments is important so that you can hear how your bub is growing and developing. • Babies love fresh air so take your baby for walks. Make sure that you have a baby carrier so that you can keep them nice and close to you. If it’s hot, make sure you use sunscreen and if it’s chilly, make sure they are bundled up nice and warm. Bonding can take time, so don’t stress too much. Enjoy spending time with your new baby and get involved as much as you can and your bond will naturally thrive.
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TOY
Reviews
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TOYS
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TOY
Reviews
REVIEWED BY APRIL DAVIS
4/5
GALAXY STAR PROJECTOR AND SOUND MACHINE
Listen to a range of relaxing natural sounds while your child’s room is transformed into a galaxy of twinkling stars. The machine’s automatic power-save setting shuts the music off after 30-minutes, and can also be used as an Mp3 and PC speaker with its 3.5mm cable that comes included. Complete with seven soothing sounds and capable of acting as a party light, the galaxy Star Projector and Sound Machine is suitable for all pages, particularly children from birth to 12-months of age. Our verdict: Pretty, soothing and multi-functional, the Star Projector and Sound Machine is perfect for lulling young babes to sleep. It stays on long enough for your little one to drift off, but will automatically switch off to prevent it from irritating the child or waking him/her back up.
RRP $38.95 - AVAILABLE FROM LITTLE BOO-TEEK / WWW.LITTLEBOOTEEK.COM.AU
JELLYCAT BASHFUL BEIGE BUNNY MEDIUM The Bashful Bunny with its scrummy-soft Jellycat fur and flopsy ears has all the ingredients to be your child’s new bestfriend. Made from super soft plush polyester, the bunny has a bag of beans incorporated into its design to help it sit upright Our verdict: The arms of this plush bunny are narrow enough for little fingers to wrap around it, and the bunny’s overall weight is light enough to be held by children from as young as 12-months. Providing comfort and something warm to hold onto, separating your child from their bunny will be a difficult task.
RRP $34.95 - AVAILABLE FROM HABITANIA / WWW.HABITANIA.COM.AU
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5/5
childs FROM A VIEW
ISGIFT MAKE YOUR OWN HIGH BOUNCE BALL BOX SET This fantastic kit includes everything you need to create your own bouncing balls! From flowers to footballs, spheres and polygons, your child can choose between vibrant neon, metallic or glow in the dark colours. Complete with four packets of metallic crystals and four packs of glow in the dark crystals, as well as eight packets of neon crystals and eight fun moulds, the High Bounce Ball Set comes with full instructions and is suitable for ages five plus.
Jack
: My mum helped me make these they were really fun! Although, I lost one and it lost its bounce. Mum said I had to be careful and to make sure I put them away so it wouldn’t happen again. We made them when my friend was over and she really liked them too. Our verdict: Suitable for school-aged children, its advisable your child is supervised while making these. The balls are fun, interactive and illicit your child’s creativity, while also helping to interact with a basic level of science, but care needs to be taken to ensure they are made and stored correctly. Once made, they are re-usable and a great way for your child to pass the time. Just make sure they are stored in an airtight container to maintain their elasticity.
3/5
RRP $20 AVAILABLE FROM QUESTACON / WWW.QUESTACON.EDU.AU
FRED DINNER WINNER FOREST AND PIRATE Dinner Winner makes dinner time fun! The goal is to get to the finish line and uncover the hidden treasure at the end of the meal. Our verdict: Dinner Winner is suitable for ages three plus, and is moulded from 100 per cent virgin melamine. Both food and dishwasher-safe, getting your kids to eat their veggies has never been so easy. Mealtime will become an activity the whole family can enjoy!
RRP $34.95 AVAILABLE FROM MAMMA-BEE / WWW.MAMMA-BEE.COM.AU
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REAL READ
CHASING
CHARLIE’S CURE
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The 20th March 2016 shall be imbedded in my mind for the rest of my life. I’m sat at the Gold Coast University Hospital with my husband Mark and our good friend Christa, the doctor who had the unimaginable task of telling us the diagnosis of Charlie’s CT scan. “Tumour, cancer” is all I heard. Mind racing, I’m thinking the worst. I feel Mark’s hand try to stop the involuntary shakes in both my legs, tears running down my cheeks. What does this mean? Is he going to die? This was the beginning of our Neuroblastoma journey...... Our Charlie. Born 20th June 2015. The day before his Daddy’s birthday. Welcomed into a world filled with love and affection with the odd bit of tough love from older brother Hudson (3)! Everybody will say their child is special. But Charlie really is. He has an infectious way of promoting love and smiles where ever he goes. He is truly blessed with being able to make people happy and to make people smile. A trait that has forged the courage and the ability in him fighting this disease today. Charlie is the boy who will break awkward medical meetings with a continuous blow of raspberries. Charlie is the boy who has the nurses wrapped around his little fingers. Charlie is the boy who will give hope to all others battling this horrendous cancer. He is our little superhero fighting a big battle. He is, without doubt, the little soldier that is carrying all of us through this debilitating journey of Neuroblastoma. And it is exactly that, a journey. A roller coaster of good and bad news and emotions. Charlie was diagnosed as we noticed a growing lump on the side of his head. Initially thinking he had just knocked it on his cot or his over zealous brother had thrown a toddler punch! Other than this Charlie was a very normal,
happy, 9-month old who was meeting all his milestones and exploring the world step by step. This is what makes this cancer so scary. There really were no alarm bells and should this lump have not appeared, well, I dread to think. I’ve not allowed myself to go there. Our first hurdle was overcoming the worst case scenario. That Charlie has high risk neuroblastoma. We had over a 90% chance of him having the “better” of the two but no, we were struck down with the worst. Charlie is probably the only baby that will be diagnosed with high-risk neuroblastoma in Australia this year. It gives him approximately a 50/50 chance of survival based on current standard treatment which includes far more intense chemotherapy plus surgery to remove the primary tumour above his kidney, stem cell transplant(s), radiotherapy and immunotherapy. We were overwhelmed to say the least, even my Husband Mark, an emergency medicine consultant was struggling with what lay ahead. This is a very aggressive cancer; one I wish no one else has to endure. Oddly, I was looking forward to and excited about the first round of chemo he had. I felt like at least something was being done to rid my baby of this tumour that engulfed his little body. A tumour on his kidney the size of an apple, the metastases (where it has spread to) on his head, ribs, pelvis, shoulder and knees and bone marrow. This poison was going to make him better I was sure. We are now on cycle 4 out of 6 for his chemo. We head up to Lady Cilento Children’s Hospital in Brisbane every three weeks, with blood tests and scans in between. Plus, if he spikes a fever due to his low blood counts we are admitted for antibiotics. There really is very little respite, and this will continue for the next 12 months. This last chemo round has really knocked him for six. My little chubby, blond, blue eyed boy is now bald, and more lean, shall we say. But boy is he putting up a fight. We listen and hold onto positive things, like when the Oncology Consultant says,
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“Charlie is doing better than we had expected” “Not every kid does as well as he is doing through this Chemo Cycle” Well that’s right, because Charlie isn’t your average ‘kid’. The price we pay for all this “poison” potentially saving his life, are the many side effects that come with it. He will highly likely have hearing impairment, which may lead to speech and learning difficulties as he is so young. It will also render him infertile. It was at this point that my husband did some research on preserving fertility. After seeking advice from a specialist in the UK, he found that RCH in Melbourne was the only place in Australia that offer hope to pre-pubescent boys as it’s so new and still in the experimental stage. So off we went to Melbourne for Charlie to have this procedure called TTCP (testicular tissue cryopreservation). So our little Charlie may be a fertility pioneer one day! It is funny how the Warrior Mum within takes over. None of us know how we would react in these situations and sometimes we are dying inside but nothing or no one is going to knock us down. I refuse to believe that this is Charlie’s final call. I remember saying to our Oncology Consultant, “I am not going to bury my son so we, you, just have to do what ever it takes” Sure we struggled with ‘why this happened to us’ so unexpectedly but, what good is that going to do. I need Charlie to look into my eyes and see strength, positivity and focus. My down times are not around him. So what does the future hold? No body knows. There is no doubting that this is certainly a journey of continuous hurdles. Unfortunately, this may not even be the full picture. Relapse rates for highrisk Neuroblastoma patients are currently
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around the 50% mark. Treatment options in Australia for cases of relapse are very limited, and so patients are faced with huge, huge costs of seeking treatment in the USA. Even if he is one of the lucky ones to be ‘cured’, it will impact on his life forever and he will need to have ongoing medical check-ups for the rest of his life. We will however, take each day as it comes. Breathing in, soaking up and enjoying every moment we have together. Life is precious and its a shame it takes something so shocking and unfair for us to realise how unbelievably lucky we are. Since the diagnosis in March friends and family have rallied around us, pushing us along in a wave of love and support, encouragement and strength every step of the way. SO much so, Mark’s colleagues at the Gold Coast University Hospital ED have organised a “Charlie Shirran’s superhero Rugby Fun Day”. A fundraising event as we are likely to need to head to America to enrol in a medical trial once his standard treatment has been completed here in Australia. There will be fun for the kids, food, music, raffles and a very much anticipated rugby match between the ED staff! The Wallabies even donated a signed jersey for the event! If you take nothing else from this article, from my experience, please go home tonight and hug your little ones that little bit tighter, give them that little bit more time. You do not know what is around the corner. Photo credits - Bek Grace www.heartandcolour.com
Facts box • Neuroblastoma is almost exclusively a childhood cancer, occurring most commonly in children under 5 years of age. • It is a rare disease with only 1 in 100,000 of a child suffering neuroblastoma. • Only 40-50 children are diagnosed with neuroblastoma each year in Australia. •
Neuroblastoma may be difficult to diagnose as symptoms often do not become apparent until the tumour has reached a certain size. Even then symptoms may be subtle.
• Neuroblastoma is a very complex cancer and there are many different types that behave very differently. At one end of the spectrum are benign tumours that may even resolve spontaneously, while at the other end are high-risk aggressive tumours with an average survival rate of 40-50%. •
The cure rate for these “high-risk” tumours has only improved marginally in recent years but there is clear hope that this rate will change with some new drug discoveries coming through.
• If you are worried about any unusual lumps in your child, then you should arrange a review with your family doctor.
I would like to take to take his opportunity to thank:
Charity Links
Lady Cliento Childrens Hospital, Brisbane Gold Coast University Hospital Royal Children’s Hospital, Melbourne
www.gofundme.com/supermancharlie http://www.neuroblastoma.org.au http://www.redkite.org.au http://www.kidswithcancer.org.au
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Fast FOOD GET THE LITTLE ONES INVOLVED TO HELP CREATE MASTER MEALS USING OUR RECIPES THAT ARE KID FRIENDLY & CAN BE MADE WITH LITTLE EFFORT.
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Alphabet Pancakes 0.15 Prep 0.30 Cooking
Makes 36
INGREDIENTS 200g (1 1/3 cups) self-raising flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 tablespoon caster sugar 310ml (1 1/4 cups) milk 1 egg, lightly whisked Olive oil spray, to grease Strawberry jam, to serve
m u y
www.taste.com.au
METHOD Step 1 Sift the flour, baking powder and sugar into a large bowl and make a well in the centre. Step 2 Whisk together the milk and egg in a jug. Pour into the flour mixture and whisk until a smooth batter forms. Cover with plastic wrap and set aside for 30 minutes to rest. Step 3 Heat a large non-stick frying pan over low heat. Lightly spray with olive oil spray to grease. Spoon half the batter into a small plastic bag. Cut 1 corner off bag and pipe four 8cm letters into pan. Cook for 2 minutes or until bubbles appear on the surface. Turn and cook for a further 1 minute or until golden. Transfer to a wire rack. Repeat, in 8 more batches, with remaining batter, reheating pan between batches. Serve with jam.
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Chia Breakfast Parfait 0.10 Prep
Servings 4
INGREDIENTS 125g punnet raspberries 250g punnet strawberries, hulled, sliced or quartered 1 banana, sliced or chopped 2 tablespoons honey 1/3 cup walnuts, toasted 2 cups Jalna Sweet & Creamy Greek Yoghourt 3 tablespoons chia seeds
METHOD Step 1 Combine the raspberries, strawberries, banana and honey in a bowl. Crumble the walnuts into smaller pieces and add the bowl. Toss lightly to combine. Step 2 Layer the fruit mix, alternately with the Jalna and chia seeds in four glasses or bowls to serve.
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Chorizo, salami and olive pizza 1 .20 Prep 0.20 Cook
INGREDIENTS 1 1/2 cups plain flour, plus extra for dusting 1 1/2 teaspoons dry yeast 1/2 teaspoon caster sugar 1/2 teaspoon salt 3 teaspoons extra virgin olive oil 1/2 cup pizza sauce 1 cup grated pizza cheese 100g shaved leg ham 8 slices shaved salami, halved 1/2 small red onion, thinly sliced 1/2 medium red capsicum, chopped 1 chorizo sausage, thinly sliced 1/2 cup pitted kalamata olives 1/3 cup small fresh basil leaves
METHOD Step 1 Preheat oven to 240C/220C fan-forced (see notes) Step 2 Combine flour, yeast, sugar and salt in a large bowl. Make a well. Add oil and 3/4 cup warm water. Mix until a soft dough forms. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Knead for 5 minutes or until smooth and elastic. Place dough in a large, lightly oiled bowl. Cover with lightly oiled plastic wrap. Stand in a warm place for 1 hour or until doubled in size. Step 3 Punch down dough. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Roll out dough to form a 25cm round. Transfer to a greased pizza tray or large baking tray. Spread dough evenly with pizza sauce. Sprinkle with 1/2 the cheese. Top with ham, salami, onion, capsicum, chorizo and olives. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. Season with pepper. Step 4 Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until base is golden and crisp, and cheese is melted. Serve pizza sprinkled with basil
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Bubble & squeak soup 0.25 Prep 0.25 Cook
INGREDIENTS
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30g unsalted butter 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 onion, chopped 1 leek, white part only, thinly sliced 2 garlic cloves, chopped 1L (4 cups) Campbell’s Real Stock Chicken 2 potatoes, chopped 300g Brussels sprouts, thinly sliced 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg 1/2 cup (125ml) pure (thin) cream, plus extra to serve 6 bacon rashers Croutons, to serve
METHOD Step 1 Melt the butter in a large saucepan with 1 tablespoon oil over medium-low heat. Add onion, leek and garlic and cook, stirring, for 4-5 minutes until softened. Add the stock and potato, then increase heat to medium-high. Bring to a simmer, then reduce heat to medium and cook for 15 minutes or until potato is tender. Add the sliced sprouts and cook for a further 5-6 minutes until tender. Season, then add nutmeg. Cool slightly, then in batches, blend until smooth. Return soup to the pan over low heat. Add cream and stir until heated through. Step 2 Meanwhile, heat remaining 1 tablespoon oil in a frypan over medium heat. Add the bacon and cook, turning, for 4-5 minutes until crisp. Drain on paper towel, cool slightly, then roughly chop. Step 3 Divide the soup among 6 serving bowls and drizzle with extra cream. Garnish with bacon, croutons and Brussels sprouts leaves, if desired, then season and serve immediately.
Paprika Chicken 0.40 Prep 1.15 Cook
Serves 4
INGREDIENTS 2 (about 1.3kg each) whole fresh chickens, each cut into 4 or 6 pieces 1 tablespoon olive oil 2 brown onions, halved, thinly sliced 2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced 1 tablespoon sweet paprika 2 teaspoons fennel seeds 4 medium tomatoes, chopped 435ml (1 3/4 cups) Campbell’s Real Stock Chicken (see note) 90g (1/3 cup) light sour cream 1/4 cup chopped fresh continental parsley SAXA Pink Himalayan Salt Flakes, to season
METHOD Step 1 Season the chicken with salt and pepper. Heat the oil in a large heavy-based saucepan over medium heat. Cook half the chicken for 3-4 minutes each side or until golden. Transfer to a tray lined with paper towel. Repeat with the remaining chicken. Step 2 Add the onion and garlic to the pan. Cook, stirring, for 2-3 minutes or until golden. Add the paprika and fennel seeds. Cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Stir in tomato and stock. Add the chicken. Bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer for 50 minutes. Uncover and simmer for a further 25 minutes. Remove from heat. Step 3 Stir in sour cream. Sprinkle with parsley.
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Fettuccine Primavera 0.10 Prep 0.35 Cook
Serves 4
INGREDIENTS 300g fresh fettuccine 1 lemon 1/2 cup (80g) fresh or frozen peas 1/2 cup (85g) frozen broad beans, peeled 100g snow peas, thinly sliced lengthways 1 bunch asparagus, woody ends trimmed 4 yellow squash, end trimmed, thinly sliced 2 teaspoons olive oil 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard 250ml PHILADELPHIA Light Cream For Cooking, a cream alternative 4 green shallots, thinly sliced
METHOD Step 1 Use a zester to remove the rind from the lemon. (Alternatively, use a vegetable peeler to peel rind from lemon. Use a small, sharp knife to remove white pith from rind. Cut rind into very thin strips). Juice the lemon. Step 2 Cook the pasta following packet directions until al dente. Add the peas, broad beans, snow peas, asparagus and squash in the last 2 minutes of cooking or until bright green and tender crisp. Drain well. Step 3 Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. Add the garlic and cook, stirring occasionally, for 30 seconds or until aromatic. Add the mustard, lemon juice and PHILLY and bring to a simmer. Cook for 1-2 minutes or until sauce thickens slightly. Add the pasta mixture and half the shallots and half the lemon rind and toss to combine. Remove from heat. Taste and season with salt and pepper. Step 4 Divide among serving bowls. Top with remaining shallots and lemon rind and serve immediately.
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Blueberry crumble cake 0.20 Prep 1.10 Cooking
INGREDIENTS 180g unsalted butter, at room temperature 215g (1 cup) caster sugar 2 eggs 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 lemon, rind finely grated 1 tbs lemon juice 300g (2 cups) gluten-free self-raising flour 185ml (3/4 cup) buttermilk 2 cups blueberries, fresh or frozen Pure icing sugar, to dust Ice-cream or cream, to serve Crumble topping 140g (2/3 cup, firmly packed) brown sugar 75g (1/2 cup) gluten-free plain flour 95g (1 cup) quinoa flakes 1 tsp ground cinnamon 1/4 tsp ground nutmeg 80g butter, chilled, chopped
METHOD STEP 1 Preheat oven 180C/160C fan forced. Grease and line base of a 22cm (base measurement) round springform pan with baking paper. STEP 2 For the topping, combine all the ingredients in a large bowl. Use your fingertips to rub until mixture resembles breadcrumbs. Set aside. STEP 3 Use electric beaters to beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Add vanilla, lemon rind and juice. Gradually add flour and buttermilk, alternating. Mix until well combined. Spread twothirds of the batter into prepared pan. Top with one-third of the blueberries and one-third of the crumble mix. Top with remaining batter, smoothing the top, then top with remaining blueberries and crumble. STEP 4 Bake for 1 hour 10 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. Set aside to cool in the pan for 20 minutes before transferring to a serving plate. Dust with icing sugar. Serve with ice-cream or cream. july 2016 | mychild
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Roasted strawberry & vanilla cheesecake tart 0.30 Prep 0.35 Cook
Serves 8
INGREDIENTS 125g Marie biscuits 1 cup Sunbeam Macadamia Meal 75g butter, melted Filling 500g cream cheese, softened 1/2 cup caster sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste 2 eggs 1/3 cup thickened cream Roasted strawberries 500g strawberries, hulled, halved or quartered 2 tablespoons caster sugar 1 tablespoon lemon juice
METHOD Step 1 Process the biscuits and Sunbeam Macadamia Meal in a food processor until a breadcrumb texture. Add the butter and process until combined. Transfer mixture to a 22cm by 22cm (base measurement) loose base square tart tin. Press mixture to line the base and sides of the tin. Place the tin on a baking tray. Chill for 15 minutes while preparing the filling. Step 2 To make the filling, beat the cream cheese, sugar and vanilla until smooth. Beat in the eggs until combined. Beat in the cream until combined. Step 3 Preheat oven to 160C/140C fan-forced. Spoon the filling into the tart shell. Bake for 30 minutes or until set (but still slightly wobbly). Turn off the oven and cool the cake in the oven with the door ajar. Chill the cake for 3 hours. Step 4 Meanwhile, make the roasted strawberries. Increase the oven to 220C/200C fan-forced. Place all the ingredients in a 20cm x 30cm baking dish and toss to coat. Bake for 5 minutes or until strawberries have softened and sugar has dissolved. Transfer to a bowl and chill until cold. Step 5 Serve the cheesecake: Cut into 8 slices and pour over the strawberries and syrup.
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The gel that stops nosebleeds in moments
Common reasons for nosebleeds are
www.NoNosebleed.com Always read the label. Use only as directed. Consult a healthcare professional if symptoms persist.
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