CN: November 7, 2018

November 7, 2018

Soldiers Memorial reborn

Around Town

By Brenda Mahr. Pg. 2 Florissant to host Veterans’ Day Parade Nov. 11 . Pg.4 St. Ferdinand Thanksgiving Dinner returns for another year. Pg.4

Special Section VETERANS DAY. Pg.7

Features

The Soldiers Memorial which officially opened on Memorial Day in 1938, was temporarily closed in 2016 until now for a $30 million revitalization project.

Submitted photos

The Soldiers Memorial Military Museum in downtown St. Louis, reopens after a $30 million revitalization project

By Charlotte Beard This year has been the year of major reopenings for museums. The St. Louis Arch Park with its renovations and debut of the Gateway Arch museum on July 3 has been followed by the reopening of a building that was first dedicated by President Franklin Roosevelt on Oct. 4, 1936. The Soldiers Memorial Military Museum located at 1315 Chestnut St. in downtown St. Louis, reopened on Nov. 3. The opening day was followed by daily special events that are running now through Nov. 12.

The Soldiers Memorial which officially opened on Memorial Day in 1938, was temporarily closed in 2016 until now for a $30 million revitalization project. Mark

Sundlov, Soldiers Memorial Director shared that the funds came from private donations.

Along with revitalization to the memorial, there were also some adjustments made to the property ownership and administrative aspects.

Sundlov shared, “In 2015 the Missouri Historical Society met with the city and the donor. They came to an agreement where the city still owns the land, the building and historical collections, but the Missouri Historical Society is now responsible for all aspects of the operation of the building and management of collections.”

This agreement is also inclusive of all utilities and the wages of two employees

who are dedicated to the functioning of the Soldiers Memorial for which the city of St. Louis is responsible. Donor funds cover the responsibilities of the Missouri Historical Society. No tax dollars are being used.

The revitalization project included some major face-lifts for the building.

“The lower level previously was city offices and city storage space,” stated Sundlov.

“It served a dual purpose. Besides a lot of preservation and restoration aspects, for as remodeling, the lower level was the most significant in the building. We turned that lower level space, about 4,000 sq. ft, into a See ‘SOLDIERS’ page 7

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Around Town CLARIFICATION

In the Oct. 31 edition of the St. Louis County Community News in the story “Recreation for all,” Dr. Charles Quigless discussed his son’s medical treatment. The story should have mentioned that Dr. Quigless expressed an objection to being told that his son Charlie should be taught sign language and began to do your own treatments. The Community News regrets the omission.

Get your event or good news published in Community News: email your information in calendar and article formats to editor@mycnews.com

November 7, 2018 • Community News – St. Louis County • www.mycnews.com

Hazelwood City Council demands why cost for Robertson firefighters higher than city firefighters During the Oct. 17 meeting, Hazelwood City Council members demanded to know why Robertson’s costs per employee are dramatically higher when compared to the Hazelwood Fire Department (HFD). In a cost comparison between Robertson and the city, their cost per employee is $46,000 higher than Hazelwood’s. Their departmental costs are $62,000 higher per employee as well. From 2016 to 2017, costs went up $9,000 per employee. Employee costs include all employee costs, such as wages, overtime, health insurance and pension. Departmental costs include all operating costs except for bond payments and capital expenses. The cost comparisons are drawn from the certified Robertson and Hazelwood annual audits. ”On a yearly basis, we have been paying Robertson Fire Protection District nearly $4 million dollars to provide fire service for our residents in their jurisdiction. Since we’re paying them this much money, we deserve some accountability and transparency from Robertson on how this money is spent,” Hazelwood Mayor Matthew Robinson said. “Robertson’s excessive spending has made their services no longer affordable. They’ve priced themselves out of the North County market.”

The city council questioned whether the fees paid to Robertson

are excessive, particularly since the council members know using the Hazelwood Fire Department to provide fire services for local residents living in RFPD’s jurisdiction would save taxpayers about $1.8 million per year.

Clara Faatz, a retiree who has lived in Hazelwood for the past 50 years, is leading an effort to organize a citizens committee to go out and collect signatures from residents for a petition to put the IGA referendum on the April 2, 2019, ballot. The Hazelwood City Council supports her efforts and is ready for the city to provide the same high quality fire service and EMS response times for all residents in Hazelwood. The city has pledged to maintain a third fire station in the Robertson service area staffed with 18 firefighter/paramedics and fire apparatus equipment and ambulance purchased from Robertson. Because of HFD’s ability to provide the same high quality service and fast response times at a lower cost, the city will be able to save popular programs and offer equal services across the board to the whole city.

The city is prepared to meet with the Robertson Board of Directors at any mutually convenient time and location to discuss how to best provide fire and ambulance services to the joint residents in this area of Hazelwood.

COMMUNITY VOICES Reflections as I leave Employment Connection, a place for second chances

By Brenda Mahr This will be my last article as CEO of Employment Connection as I’m retiring at the end of this year. I do plan to stay actively engaged in the community. I will continue to advocate for families who need to break the cycle of generational incarceration; for those who need a second chance and for those who need a hand up, not a hand out. Employment Connection has worked to assist individuals with limited opportunities to self sufficiency for over 41years. For over 38 years, a major source of our funding has been as a member of the United Way of Greater St. Louis.

During the course of my tenure, we have expanded our services to assist homeless and low-income individuals and families in St. Louis City and County, at-risk youth, TANF and SNAP recipients in both Missouri and Illinois, U.S. veterans, new Americans, individuals with untreated and undiagnosed mental health disorders, non-custodial fathers, as well as our primary client base of justice involved individuals. Today, Employment Connection assists an average 2,000 individuals with significant barriers to employment every year.

I’m ever so grateful for the opportunity to have shared with readers the many services of the agency in this space since 2015. I am proud to have been a part of the many achievements of the agency for most of its history. Offering more than just a job, Employment Connection provides

valuable resources, training, and support to inspire and empower clients to change their circumstances, become employed, secure safe and affordable housing and attain self-sufficiency with dignity.

For the sake of brevity, I’ll recount just a few of Employment Connection’s nationally recognized services and our funding and service partners: • World of Work: Employment readiness training - ReCAST United Way (UW) • Competitive Employment Program: Job placement and career advancement services - U W, ReCAST • Financial literacy courses - Bank On Save Up , UW • On-site adult basic education or HiSET services - St. Louis Public Schools • Back to Health, Back to Work - Behavioral health assessment and intervention - MHB, UW, MFH • Connections to Work - Transition to employment for individuals on SSI and SSDI - Ticket to Work • Sustainable Reentry Project - Lutheran Foundation of St. Louis • Project Homecoming: Permanent Supportive Housing • Project Homecoming Veterans: Permanent Supportive Housing • Project Prevention: Homeless Prevention • Project Transition: Rapid-Rehousing -

MHDC, HRC • Missouri Veterans Commission: Housing and Support • Illinois TANF and SNAP - Illinois Department of Human Services • Managed Work Services: Social Enterprise Staffing Service www.mwsstl.org For more information see our website at www.employmentstl.org.

If you are interested in volunteering to help people secure housing and a job leading to a career, please contact Stephanie Weinhaus at 314-333-5645 or weinhauss@ employmentstl.org.

I leave you with one final thought, if you are as fortunate as I have been to enjoy a career that I loved, you will never work a day in your life!

Brenda Mahr, MWDP is Chief Executive Officer of Employment Connection, a proud member of the United Way of Greater St. Louis. Member: St. Louis Alliance for Reentry (STAR); Community Advisory Board-St. Louis Regional Health Commission; National Association of Blacks in Criminal Justice; Vashon Alumni Hall of Fame; 2015 Archdiocese St. Charles Lwanga Torchbearer Awardee.

The opinions expressed in this column are the columnist’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.

www.mycnews.com • Community News – St. Louis County • November 7, 2018

Around Town

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Longtime Florissant resident Grand opening held for new adult and Army veteran is honored high school in St. Louis by the Greater St. Louis Honor Submitted photo Flight Organization

Photo courtesy city of Florissant Pictured above is Army Veteran Tony Hastings surrounded by Greater St. Louis Honor Flight members, Florissant Police Officers, neighbors, friends and Florissant area veterans including Florissant Mayor Thomas Schneider.

State Representative Steven Roberts, D-St. Louis, celebrated the ribbon cutting of a new adult high school in St. Louis, which he says will help many residents further their education and expand the state’s workforce.

Oct. 18 marked the grand opening of the MERS Goodwill Excel Center in St. Louis, while another location opened in Springfield, Missouri earlier in the week.

Roberts, along with bill sponsor, Rep. Travis Fitzwater and Senators Gina Walsh and Jamilah Nasheed, played a key role in passing bipartisan legislation allowing for the creation of four such schools in the state with the intent of providing education and a path to earning a high school diploma for those who did not complete high school.

“More than 500,000 Missourians over age of 21 do not possess a high school diploma, and after age 21, they don’t currently have a path to earn one,” Roberts, who serves as the ranking Minority member of the House Workforce Development Committee, said. “Adult high schools provided comprehensive education on a shorter track, and offer the opportunity to acquire a degree and gain employable skills which could position graduates for jobs that make $3-4 more an hour and $6,000-

Members of the Florissant Valley Memorial VFW Post 4105 partnered with the Greater St. Louis Honor Flight (GSLHF) organization to honor longtime Florissant Resident and Army veteran Tony Hastings, who has ALS and has lived over 25 years longer than expected. Knowing that Hastings would not be able to make the long flight to Washington D.C. to experience the memorials built in their honor, it was decided that on Oct. 22 GSLHF would come to Hastings and honored him at his home.

Hastings was presented with an Honor Flight medal, hat and commemorative shirt from GSLHF. Florissant Mayor Thomas Schneider said, “I met Tony Hastings in 1979 when I first ran for city council and I am proud to have had his continuing friendship and support for the past 40 years. He is an inspiration to me, his neighbors and to our entire community and I am happy that he has received this award.”

The Greater St. Louis Honor Flight is a 501c3 organization, whose mission is to safely www.CNBSTL.com transport America’s most senior military veterans to Washington DC, to experience the memorials built in their honor. They are dedicated to these heroic men and women having one of the best days of their life.

For more information on the Greater St. Louis Honor Flight, visit their website at www .gslhonorflight.org.

8,000 more a year for full-time work.”

The adult high schools are available to students 21 years old and older who have not graduated high school, and more than 1,600 individuals applied for classes at the center, which began on Oct. 24. The school will give priority to Missourians who are currently on government assistance, while offering courses and skills certifications based on regional demand through partnerships with community colleges and other programs.

In an effort to aid those seeking to earn their diplomas, the schools will also offer a child care center to remove barriers from adults seeking to participate.

Roberts acknowledged that workforce development is not just important to the state’s economy, but is essential to crime prevention, noting that unemployment is motivating factor for criminal behavior.

He also said that the schools will provide opportunities to establish mentorships that will help to ensure people stick with the program, and to help them develop life skills.

“This is a huge win for Missouri and for all Missourians who would like the opportunity to continue and complete their education,” Roberts said.

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Around Town

November 7, 2018 • Community News – St. Louis County • www.mycnews.com

Florissant to host Veterans’ Day Parade

St. Ferdinand Thanksgiving Dinner returns for another year

The Florissant Veterans’ Parade will be on the 100th anniversary of Armistice Day, Nov. 11 beginning at 1 p.m.

Parade participants will assemble and start the parade at Bangert Park at 1 p.m. and precede north on Florissant Road and then turn left on St. Francois and end the parade at the VFW where the ceremony will take place to honor the 2017 Veteran of the Year.

This year’s Parade Marshal will be last year’s Veteran of the Year Denny Klier. Tony Colombo from FM News Talk 97.1 and SGM US Army (Ret.) Carl A. Hargus, Director, Service to Veterans – MO Veterans Commission (Ret.) will be the emcee. This year’s guest speaker from the United States Marine Corp. is Retired Master Sergeant (MSgt.) Russell W. Avery.

The 2018 Florissant Veteran of the Year is Richard Rosenkoetter.

Rosenkoetter’s entire military service was spent in the Artillery in the Fire Direction Center. He spent thirteen months in Korea in A battery, 6th battalion, 37th Artillery, 2nd Infantry Division and then he went to the 1st Infantry Division in a missile unit and finally to the 24th Division in an 8” self-propelled artillery unit.

He has been a member of the VFW since 1969 and served as Quartermaster twice at Post 4105 for a total of six years, the American Legion since 1983 and the Korean War Veterans, Chapter 4 since 2009 where he currently serves as their finance officer.

Rosenkoetter and wife Jeanette have a blended family of seven children, twelve grandchildren and two great grandchildren. Included are two sons who are retired military, one from the Army and the other from the Navy.

This event was the suggestion of Mr. Norman Sirna, a member of the Veterans’ Commission.

It is a little less than a month until Thanksgiving 2018 and the work of the St. Ferdinand Thanksgiving Dinner (SFTD) in Florissant is well underway. The St. Ferdinand Thanksgiving Dinner is an organization made up of volunteers from St. Ferdinand and other area churches working together to provide a free Thanksgiving Dinner.

On Nov. 22, Thanksgiving Day, there will be two serving lines, in-house dining is from 11:30 a.m. until 1:30 p.m. and take out is from 11:30 a.m. until 2 p.m. End times may be earlier, if

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there is no more food to serve.

St. Ferdinand Thanksgiving Dinner is solely dependent on donations from local businesses and individuals to purchase the food that is served. Your assistance with a donation to support this work is requested. The dinner grows each year as does the need in the community.

Please make your check payable to St. Ferdinand Thanksgiving Dinner and send your donation to: St. Ferdinand Catholic Church, 1765 Charbonier Road, Florissant, MO 63031.

‘Scots in St. Louis’ speaker series receives grant The Missouri Humanities Council (MHC) has awarded a grant of $1,500 to the Scottish St. Andrew Society of Greater St. Louis in support of the project “The Scots in St. Louis: Speaker Series on the History of Scots in Missouri.” The MHC is the only statewide agency in Missouri devoted exclusively to humanities education for citizens of all ages. It has served as a state affiliate of the National Endowment for the Humanities since 1971.

The “Scots in St. Louis” will be a series of public lectures discussing the history and contributions of Scottish people in Missouri. Missouri has a long history of different ethnic groups leaving their mark on the state. The Scottish were no exception as they migrated west to build communities, embark on business ventures, conduct agriculture, and become public servants. Today, over half a million Missourians

identify as Scottish-American who acknowledge their ancestral heritage. The society’s mission is to preserve and promote Scottish heritage in the St. Louis region and this program is dedicated to sharing that humanities knowledge with the community.

Everyone is welcome to join these discussions from November through March 2019. Tickets are only $5 for each and can be purchased from stlstandrews.com. Each lecture will be held at the United Hebrew Congregation at 13788 Conway Rd. in St. Louis. Speaker biographies along with dates and times of each lecture will be provided as the events are scheduled.

For more information on the program or on the society contact communications and grant project director, Thomas Richardson, at ssas. thistle.times@gmail.com.

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www.mycnews.com • Community News – St. Louis County • November 7, 2018

Around Town

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St. Louis County awarded additional $2.25 million to support continued local justice system reform The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation today announced a $2.25 million grant to St. Louis County and the University of Missouri-St. Louis to continue building on efforts to advance local criminal justice system reform and safely reduce the county’s jail population, bringing the foundation’s total investment in St. Louis County to $4.5 million to date. The grant is part of the Safety and Justice Challenge, a $148 million national initiative to reduce over-incarceration by changing the way America thinks about and uses jails.

The Safety and Justice Challenge is supporting local leaders in St. Louis County and across the country determined to tackle one of the greatest drivers of over-incarceration in America – the misuse and overuse of jails. St. Louis County was first selected to join the collaborative Safety and Justice Challenge Network in 2015 and has since used the resources and funding provided by the challenge to implement bold reforms, including expanding the pretrial release program and developing an innovative model for addressing the needs of individuals who are returned to jail for a probation violation. As a result, the population of the jail has declined by 5.6 percent since 2015, and there has been significant progress in reducing racial disparities. The average length of stay for African-Americans has fallen to 82 days from 113 days, a 28 percent reduction. For white individuals, the average length of stay has fallen 15 percent, to 69 days from 81 days.

As part of a new initiative, a Jail Population Review Team began meeting weekly this summer to streamline case processing and expedite releases.

The team is comprised of judges, county employees, law enforcement officers, public defenders, probation and parole officers, prosecutors, service providers, and community advocates. The thoughtful actions of the Jail Population Review Team have contributed to a 19 percent reduction in the number of individuals awaiting trial for a non-violent felony charge.

In addition, 1,400 local citizens have received housing and employment assistance and substance abuse and mental health treatment as part of the challenge grant.

Today, St. Louis County was one of 13 jurisdictions selected for additional funding based on the promise and progress of work to date.

This new round of funding will provide St. Louis County and its partners with additional support and continued expert technical assistance to strengthen and expand strategies that address the main drivers of local jail incarceration, with the goal of further reducing St. Louis County’s average daily jail population by 5-10 percent in

two years.

“We are proud of the progress made to date in safely reducing the jail population and acting as a model for other counties across the country to show reform is possible,” County Executive Steve Stenger said. “Thank you to the Safety and Justice Challenge, along with our team at the Justice Service Center and partners like UMSL for their continued and tireless efforts to create real, measurable change. I look forward to continuing this great work.”

“I am proud of the progress St. Louis County has made in safely reducing the jail population,” said Beth Huebner, professor of criminology and criminal justice at UMSL and lead researcher on the grant. “St. Louis County has made tremendous reform in the past three years. The county has relied on evidence-based practices to address the needs of the citizens of St. Louis County while maintaining community safety. There is much progress yet to be made. I am confident that the leaders of St. Louis County will continue to work together on the reforms implemented over the past two years and will see a further reduction in the jail population and racial disparities in the system.”

Three years after its public launch, the Challenge Network has grown into a collaborative of 52 counties, cities, and states modeling and inspiring reforms to create fairer, more effective local justice systems across the country.

“There is growing demand for criminal justice reform across the country, and local jurisdictions are leading the way,” said Laurie Garduque, MacArthur’s Director of Justice Reform.

Judge Gloria Reno, Presiding Judge, commented “This additional funding from the MacArthur Foundation’s Safety and Justice Challenge will provides critical support for our mission of providing equal access to justice for all. In collaboration with our local and national partners in this important criminal justice initiative, we will continue to improve the lives of defendants, taxpayers and the community for years to come. “ Several of the nation’s leading criminal justice organizations will continue to provide technical assistance and counsel to St. Louis County, St. Louis County partners, and the other jurisdictions involved in the Challenge: the Center for Court Innovation, the Institute for State and Local Governance at the City University of New York, the Justice Management Institute, Justice System Partners, the Pretrial Justice Institute, the Vera Institute of Justice, Policy Research, Inc., and the W. Haywood Burns Institute.

More information about the work underway in St. Louis County can be found at www.SafetyandJusticeChallenge.org.

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School

November 7, 2018 • Community News – St. Louis County • www.mycnews.com

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Hazelwood schools awarded arts and education grants The Arts and Education Council and Maritz awarded three schools in the Hazelwood School District with grants to support classroom-based art projects during the 2018-19 academic year.

• Hazelwood West High School will use funding to support its annual Writers Week, which showcases teacher and student songs, slam poetry, narratives and plays.

• Jana Elementary School will purchase rolling carts to make xylophones, the cornerstone of the school’s music program, accessible to all students, regardless of student

age or size of instrument.

• Keeven Elementary School will teach students to play guitar during music classes, using grant funds to purchase guitars, music stands, and electric tuners.

The Maritz Arts and Education Fund for Teachers provides critical funds to arts education programs serving St. Louis-area school districts.

Maritz and the Arts and Education Council partner to offer this funding opportunity to individual schools and teachers to support projects that encourage creativity in the classroom.

Normandy junior attends state JAG board gathering, meets Missouri governor

www.ofallon.mo.us

Normandy High School junior Taylor Allen (center) recently traveled to Jefferson City, Missouri for the Jobs for America’s Graduates (JAG) state board meeting. While there, Taylor who is a career representative with JAG, was able to visit the mansion of, and meet with Missouri Governor Mike Parson and his wife, Teresa. The Parsons are serving as co-directors of the state board of JAG, a state-based nonprofit organization dedicated to helping young people who have potential, but who are, for a variety of reasons, at-risk for not graduating from high school.

Photo courtesy Normandy Schools Collaborative

New principals appointed at two Hazelwood schools The Hazelwood School District has announced the appointment of two new school building principals.

The HSD Board of Education has approved the appointment of Dr. Stacy Ray as principal of Hazelwood Northwest Middle School and Melanie Davison as principal of Brown Elementary School.

Ray has worked in the Hazelwood School District for the past seven years; since the beginning of this school year, she has served as interim principal of Northwest Middle School.

She also has worked as a curriculum coordinator and assistant principal at Hazelwood West Middle School, and held the position of building principal in two other school districts.

Ray holds a bachelor’s degree in social studies from the University of Missouri, along with a specialist in administration and a doctorate in educational leadership from Missouri Baptist University.

Davison has worked in the Hazelwood School District for more than 18 years; most recently, she served as an instructional coordinator at Jana Elementary School.

Prior to this, she served as both interim principal and instructional specialist for Cold Water Elementary School for almost seven years, and was a teacher at Brown Elementary School for 10 years.

Davison holds a bachelor’s degree in elementary education from Western Illinois University, and a master’s in educational administration from Lindenwood University.

“I look forward to seeing the great things Dr. Ray and Mrs. Davison will continue to do for the students in our district,” HSD Superintendent Dr. Nettie Collins-Hart said. “We value our diverse staff members who are caring, culturally-competent, well-trained, and highly-effective in their roles.”

www.mycnews.com • Community News – St. Louis County • November 7, 2018

Veterans Day

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‘SOLDIERS’ from cover special exhibit gallery. So, a part of making this a vibrant part of downtown is rotating out that exhibit space on a regular basis, every two-to-three years. When we open on Nov. 3 it’s going to open with the exhibit – World War I: St. Louis and the Great War. That exhibit will focus exclusively on St. Louis and its role, the men and women from St. Louis who contributed to World War I, and some events (that occurred) immediately after World War I.” Sundlov also shared that during the two-to-three-year period of the exhibit, the memorial will be working on developing a new temporary exhibit for that space.

“Operationally, the ability to develop new exhibits on a rotating basis like this changes the whole spirit of the building in that there will always be something new and fresh as far as exhibits happening here. Coupled with that will be a robust slate of programs, whether it’s educational programs with students or evening events probably more for adults, that programming will be a key aspect of what is happening at Soldiers and how we’re trying to be a vibrant part of downtown.”

In addition to making Soldiers Memorial a vibrant part of downtown, the project went to great lengths to ensure the building became accessible and an enjoyable experience for anyone who desires to visit.

“There’s a few different major aspects of the renovations, but one of them was definitely the ADA accessibility,” stated Sundlov. “There was a wheel chair ramp added to the east side of the building which now enables individuals to get into the building through what we mostly consider the front access. There will be handouts for folks who have some vision trouble (enabling them) to have very large print in their hands of the object labels so they read everything that they want to read and not be limited by the size of the font or other things.”

Another great aspect of the completed project Sundlov shared is that the Memorial qualified for and is close to receiving LEED certification (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design).

“This is a remarkable achievement to get it up to that level, considering the building was built and finished in 1938. A lot of work was done on the heating and ventilation systems and just (various) aspects. We are trying to achieve something that no other museum has been able to do – a Zero Waste Program which makes sure that any materials we use are either being recycled or disposed of in other ways that ensures the absolute minimum amount of trash is leaving this building and going to the landfill. We’re proud to (attempt) taking this on and seeing if we can pull it off. It will be quite an accomplishment. It would be the first museum in the

nation to be able to do this. So, we’re excited for that challenge.”

The Court of Honor was another focal point of change during the project.

Sundlov stated, “We narrowed Chestnut Street to a single lane and put in some visual cues, strips of granite, that tie the Court of Honor more tightly to the Soldiers Memorial building itself so, it’s more obvious that it’s all one entity. We relocated the Vietnam and the Korean Memorials. Each of those lists the names of individuals from St. Louis who lost their lives in those conflicts. In addition to those two memorials there is the World War II memorial which lists all the names of individuals who gave their lives in (that war) from St. Louis.

On the west side of the Court of Honor we’ve added additional memorials and we will be adding the names of those who have given the ultimate sacrifice to those memorials. That will be commemorated Memorial Day 2019. We’re proud to recognize those individuals since Vietnam who have made that sacrifice for all of us.”

Sundlov went on to share that names will continue to be Submitted photo added to the newer memorials as needed each Memorial Day. “We’re very proud and we’re excited to open this—it’s such an incredible place. The exhibits tell the story of St. Louis and these conflicts – The Revolutionary War all the way up through today from a very individual aspect. It’s the individual story, the individual voices that we really put a lot of effort into making sure build the narrative in the exhibits. I am confident that visitors will be able to see themselves in the exhibit and see their communities and the neighborhoods.

For more details on the changes resulting from the revitalization project visit: www.mohistory.org/memorial/about-the-revitalization-project. For details on daily scheduled flag raising and lowering ceremonies along with various honoring and events on and off the Soldiers Memorial grounds running through Nov.12, visit www. mohistory.org/memorial/reopening-week-events. Admission to Soldiers Memorial is free and open daily from 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. It is closed on Thanksgiving and Christmas Day.

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What’s Happening

November 7, 2018 • Community News – St. Louis County • www.mycnews.com

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EVENTS

tion call 314-831-6121.

Nov. 7: Karaoke

Nov. 9: Country fried steak or meatloaf dinner

Karaoke at Florissant Valley VFW Post 4105, located at 410 St. Francois, from 8 p.m. to 12 a.m. All profits go to support veterans. For more informa-

Country fried steak or meatloaf dinner at Florissant Valley VFW Post 4105, located at 410 St. Francois, from

4 to 7 p.m. All profits go to support veterans. For more information call 314-831-6121.

Nov. 10: Gospel concert

At 8 p.m. at Touhill Performing Arts Center, the Soweto Gospel Choir will be performing to bring an evening of award-winning and inspirational music, singing and dancing. For ticket prices, contact Touhill ticket office at 314-516-4949 or visit touhill.org.

Nov. 10: Vendor and craft sale

A vendor and crafts sale, food and bake sale, sponsored by the Presbyterian Women of John Knox Church at 13200 New Halls Ferry in Florissant, will be held from 9 a.m. – 2 p.m.

Nov. 10: Craft fair

Blessed Teresa of Calcutta Church, at 150 N. Elizabeth Ave. in Ferguson, is inviting you to their First Annual Craft Fair. Doors open from 10 a.m.

- 2 p.m. Crafters are needed. Please contact Laura Steinmann at Laurasteinmann@yahoo.com or cell 314488-0527.

Nov. 10: Meat shoots

Florissant Eagles, Aerie #3638 Meat Shoots will start on Sept. 8 and run through Nov. 10 at 15245 New Halls Ferry Rd. Shoots start at noon and rounds go fast so get there early.

There is a length limit and 670 choke maximum. $3 per shot. $5 big money round. Beer specials. All are welcome.

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Nov. 10: Breakfast

Breakfast at Florissant Valley VFW Post 4105, located at 410 St. Francois, from 8 to 10 a.m. All profits go to support veterans. For more information call 314-831-6121.

Nov. 10: Flea market

Flea market at Florissant Valley VFW Post 4105, located at 410 St. Francois, from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. All profits go to support veterans. For more information call 314-831-6121.

Nov. 14: Karaoke

Karaoke at Florissant Valley VFW Post 4105, located at 410 St. Francois, from 8 p.m. to 12 a.m. All profits go to support veterans. For more information call 314-831-6121.

Nov. 16: Dinner

TBD new dinner item at Florissant Valley VFW Post 4105, located at 410 St. Francois, from 4 to 7 p.m. All profits go to support veterans. For more information call 314-831-6121.

Nov. 18: Thanksgiving service

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You are invited to attend a Community Thanksgiving Service in support of the Ritenour Rent and Utility Program. The service will take place at Overland Baptist Church, located at 9303 Midland Blvd., at 3 p.m. All are welcome. The free will offering goes 100 percent to the Ritenour Rent and Utility Program, supporting families with children in the Ritenour School District.

Nov. 21: Karaoke

Karaoke at Florissant Valley VFW Post 4105, located at 410 St. Francois, from 8 p.m. to 12 a.m. All profits go to support veterans. For more information call 314-831-6121.

Nov. 23: Thanksgiving potluck dinner

Thanksgiving potluck dinner at Florissant Valley VFW Post 4105, located at 410 St. Francois, from 4 to 7 p.m.

All profits go to support veterans. For more information call 314-831-6121.

Nov. 28: Karaoke

Karaoke at Florissant Valley VFW Post 4105, located at 410 St. Francois, from 8 p.m. to 12 a.m. All profits go to support veterans. For more information call 314-831-6121.

Nov. 30: Chicken dinner

Chicken dinner at Florissant Valley VFW Post 4105, located at 410 St. Francois, from 4 to 7 p.m. All profits go to support veterans. For more information call 314-831-6121.

Dec. 1: Breakfast with Santa

Calvary United Church of Christ, at 2501 Hartland Avenue, invites the community to join them for their annual Breakfast with Santa from 9 - 11 a.m. The cost is $4 for adults and children three and older. Cost includes breakfast, photo opts with Santa and crafts. All are welcome the day of the event, but advance reservations help to better prepare. Call 314-429-7464 for reservations or directions.

RECURRING EVENTS Any time: Tours at Old St. Ferdinand Shrine by appointment

#1 Rue St. Francois St., Florissant. Donations accepted. Docents needed.

314-921-7582, Vicki Wittman Email: vicray01@aol.com.

Monthly: Free legal services

Every month CORP Legal Services provides: legal document preparations such as wills, deeds and power of attorneys at no cost to St. Louis County seniors 60 years and older. There is an income limit. Contact the coordinator at 314-615-0931 for more information.

Weekdays: Food pantry volunteers needed

The Harvey Kornblum Jewish Food Pantry is in need of ongoing adult volunteers to sort food, stock shelves and shop with clients. Two-to-four hour shifts are available, Monday-Friday 8:45 a.m.-3:45 p.m. To learn more or to join this fun group, contact Chelsey Banaskavich at 314-513-1674 or cbanaskavich@jfcs-stl.org.

Weekdays: Volunteer drivers

The St. Louis County Older Resident Programs need volunteer drivers who live in St. Louis County to give a few hours during the day to provide transportation to and from doctor’s appointments for our senior residents of St. Louis County that lives near you! No weekends and mileage reimbursement is available. Call to-

day at 314-615-4516.

Mondays: Choral Art Singers

Choral Arts Singers resume practice on Mondays, at 7 p.m. at Transfiguration Episcopal Church, 1860 Lake St. Louis Blvd. in Lake St. Louis. This session will include performance at St. James Cathedral, Chicago on June 25.

New singers are welcome. Auditions are not required. See www.concertarts.org.

Mondays: City council meetings

City of Pine Lawn holds regular city council meetings at city hall at 6250 Steve Marre Ave. in Pine Lawn on the second Monday of the month at 6:30 p.m. The meetings are open to the public.

Mondays: Workshop meetings

City of Pine Lawn holds regular workshop meetings at city hall at 6250 Steve Marre Ave. in Pine Lawn on the fourth Monday of the month at 6:30 p.m. The meetings are open to the public.

Mondays: A cappella singers

All men who like to sing are invited to come sing with us, The Men of Harmony. We practice every Monday night at 7 p.m. at 5500 Parker Road which is the first house on Uthe Lane.

We sing four-part harmony a capella (without accompaniment ). We sing some traditional songs, as well as show tunes and more contemporary music.

We do perform for the public at various functions. Persons interested can come right on in or for more information call Al at 314-993-6134.

Mondays-Thursdays: Volunteers needed

Community Action Agency of St. Louis County is in need of volunteers to stock shelves, sort food shipments and pack bags for Food Pantry Clients Monday through Thursday from 8 a.m. until 3 p.m. Two to four hour shifts are available. If you are interested, please contact Cheryl Piece at 314-446-4440 or cpiece@caastlc.org for additional information.

Tuesdays: Chair Zumba

Chair Zumba every Tuesday from 2:15 – 3 p.m. at The Bridge At Florissant at 1101 Garden Plaza Dr. (Parker @ Arlington). For more information call 314-831-0988.

Tuesdays: Choir rehearsals

The St. Louis Chordinals, a women’s a cappella chorus, rehearse every Tuesday evening from 7 - 9:30 p.m. at Beautiful Savior Lutheran Church at 12397 Natural Bridge Rd. in Bridgeton (next to the Bridgeton Government Center). For more information call Linda at 314-839-3495 or visit stlouischordinals.org.

Tuesdays: Vietnam Veterans Association meeting

Chapter 794 Vietnam Veterans Association meets on the third Tuesday of each month at VFW Post 4105 at 410 St. Francois in Florissant. Meetings start at 7 p.m. For more information contact Walter Kaiser at 314-921-2132.

www.mycnews.com • Community News – St. Louis County • November 7, 2018 Tuesdays: TOPS pounds sensibly)

(Take

off

From 9:15 - 10:30 a.m. located at John F. Kennedy Center/Henry Koch Ctr., Howdershell Rd. at Charbonier Rd., Florissant. For more info contact Paul or Connie McConnell, 314-8315476.

Every 4th Tuesday of the month: Fort Bellefontaine Memorial American Legion Post 335 meeting 6:30pm, Fort Bellefontaine Memorial American Legion Post 335, at the Bellefontaine Neighbors Community Center at 9669 Bellefontaine Rd. Those interested in membership are invited to attend.

Every Tuesday: Bingo Evening at Florissant Elks Lodge #2316

Doors at 4:30 p.m., games begin at 6pm, Florissant Elks Lodge #2316, 16400 New Halls Ferry Rd. in Florissant. For more information, call 314.921.2316.

Wednesdays: TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly)

TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) meets from 6 p.m. -7:30 p.m. at St. Andrews United Methodist Church at 3975 N. Hwy 67 in Florissant. For more information contact Norma at 314-306-4731.

Wednesdays: Are you interested in losing weight?

Check out TOPS #361 Florissant group of supportive ladies. Meetings are on Wednesday mornings beginning at 9:15 a.m. at Florissant Church of Christ, 16460 New Halls Ferry Rd. in Florissant. If interested, please contact Shirley at 314-895-3528 for more information.

Every Wednesday: Bingo Morning at Florissant Elks Lodge #2316

Florissant Elks Lodge #2316, 16400 New Halls Ferry Rd. in Florissant.

Doors at 7:30 a.m., games begin at 9:30 a.m. For more information, call 314.921.2316.

prizes. For more information call 314-831-0988.

Thursdays: Quilting guild

Every third Thursday of the month the Flower Valley Quilting Guild meets at 7 p.m. at Zion Lutheran Church at 123 Carson Road in Ferguson.

Thursdays: Korean War Veterans Association meeting If you had military service in Korea between Sept. 3, 1945 and the present you are cordially invited to a meeting of Chapter 4, North County Korean War Veterans Association. Meetings take place at the VFW Post 4105 at 410 St. Francois in Florissant on the first Thursday of the month, starting at 7 p.m. For more information contact Walter Kaiser at 314-921-2132.

Thursdays: checks

Blood

pressure

Free blood pressure checks monthly at Life Care Center of Florissant at 1201 Garden Plaza Dr. (off Parker Rd.) in Florissant every third Thursday of the month. Call 831-3752 for more information.

Thursdays: meeting

Women’s

chorus

Every Thursday City Voices Chorus, a women’s chorus singing four-part a cappella harmony, meets at Church of the Good Shepherd at 1166 S. Mason Rd. in St. Louis. Members come from the entire bi-state region. Call Marcia at 636-274-0723 for more information or visit www.cityvoiceschorus.org.

Fridays: Celebrate Recovery

For 25 years Celebrate Recovery has been helping everyday folks find freedom from whatever difficulty you are experiencing in your life. This Christ-centered, 12-step program is based on the Beatitudes. We meet every Friday at 6:15 p.m. for dinner ($5); 7 p.m. large group meeting; 8 p.m. Small groups sharing; 9 p.m. dessert at First Christian Church of Florissant at 2890 Patterson Rd. in Florissant. For more information call 314-837-2269 or visit http://www. fccf.org/ or Facebook page Celebrate Recovery-FCCF.

What’s Happening

Saturdays: Grief support

On the fourth Saturday of each month, grief support meeting “A Way With Words Ministry” meets at 12:30 p.m. at Community Christ Fellowship, rear, at 121 Williams Blvd. in Hazelwood, 1/4 mile south of Hwy 270 off Florissant Rd. There are a variety of topics monthly. You are not alone. Come help your heart heal

with others. For more information call 314-605-3949.

Every Fourth Saturday’s Writer’s Workshop

10 a.m. - 1:30 p.m. at Baden Library, at 8448 Church Rd. For more information call 314-388-2400.

Saturdays: Free walk-in clinic

Salam Clinic at St. Peter’s United Church of Christ at 1425 Stein Road at West Florissant in Ferguson is a free walk-in clinic open Saturdays from 11 a.m. – 1 p.m. The clinic is jointly sponsored by the Muslim Community of St. Louis (MCSL) and St. Peter’s United Church of Christ to provide basic adult medical screening, treatment and referrals free of charge for the uninsured. For more information or if you would be interested in volunteering, please call 314-521-5694 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. Monday – Friday or visit www.stpeterschurch.org

Saturdays: Clothing sale

On the second Saturday of each month Bethany-Peace UCC at 11952 Bellefontaine Rd. in St. Louis County hosts a clothing sale from 9 - 11 a.m.

For sale are used clothing and shoes, some household items, books and toys. Fill your bag for $1.

SUDOKU answers from page F-1

Every Friday: Our Lady of Fatima #4429 Knights of Columbus Bingo

6:45 p.m., Knights of Columbus Hall, 1216 Teson Rd. in Hazelwood. For more information call 314.731.9330

Every 3rd Friday of the month: Bingo

2 p.m., Life Care Center of Florissant, 1201 Garden Plaza Dr. For more information, call 314.831.3752.

Bridgeton Trails Library Branch Programs:

3455 McKelvey Rd., St. Louis, 314.994.3300. Story Time: Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. 9 months to 2 yrs.

Room 1 (Lap Time); Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. Ages 3–5. Room 2; Thursdays, 10:30 a.m. Ages 3–5. Room 1.

Florissant Senior Citizens’ Bingo Clubs: 314.839.7604.

Every 1st Wednesday of the Month: Stroke Support Group

3-4 p.m., Center for Senior Renewal, Detrick Building 1st floor, 11133 Dunn Rd. For more information, contact Jamie Stevens at 314.653.5331.

Thursdays: Bingo

Community Bingo at the Bridge At Florissant, at 1101 Garden Plaza Drive (intersection of Parker and Arlington) takes place on the fourth Thursday of each month from 2:30 - 3:30 p.m. There will be snacks and

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www.TheSarahCommunity.com

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Sports

November 7, 2018 • Community News – St. Louis County • www.mycnews.com

Sports you see with Gary B...

w w w. s e n i o r s h e l p i n g s e n i o r s . c o m / s t l o u i s c e n t r a l

www.treesbywoody.net

Lutheran High sophomore excels Congratulations to sophomore DE Travion Ford for breaking the single season sack record with 17 on the year, last week vs. Soldan High.

The record was previously held by Bryce Propst in 2015.

Head coach for the Cougars is former St. Louis Ram’s running back Arlen Harris. “We still have games left and that number probably will rise!

This kid secured an SEC offer recently and already has D1s sniffing around like crazy,” coach commented. * Future prospect Class 3 race in the Missouri girls cross country meet O’Fallon Christian’s Mercedes Schroer topped defending champ John Burroughs’ Kylie Goldfarb for the individual title Saturday at Oak Hills Golf Center.

In the latest edition of head-to-head battles between the super sophomores, Schroer crossed first in 19 minutes, 36.26 seconds, on the 5-kilometer course that was muddied by rain in recent days.

“It’s a great feeling,” Schroer said. “Just having the other girls to push me really helped. It’s an amazing feeling. While I was running, I felt kind of tired, but I knew I had to stick with the other girls until the last bit. I would say the conditions on the course weren’t ideal, but I mean you’ve just got to work with it.”

Goldfarb crossed second well ahead third-place Olivia Littleton of Smithville.

The gap between Schroer and Goldfarb was less than a second with 200 meters to go before the O’Fallon Christian runner pulled away.

“I love racing against (Schroer),” Goldfarb said.

“We push each other. I like it and I’m really happy to have her so we can each get better.” * Competition is healthy Thanksgiving Eve features big fundraiser for first responders Since 1987, the Guns ‘N Hoses event has been putting on our boxing gloves to raise money for

www.aperioncare.com

The BackStoppers – an organization that provides immediate and long-term financial aid, as well as support, to the families of our fallen heroes.

The event will be at the Enterprise Center formerly the Scottrade Center, on Nov. 21.

Mixed martial arts has been added to the card recently.

Go to www.STLGunsnHoses.com for all the details. * One of the best and fun events UMSL ends women’s volleyball season The University of Missouri-St. Louis volleyball team closed out its 2018 season with 3-0 set scores victory at Maryville University Saints on Saturday.

Highlights included: *Junior Kylie Rudsinski recorded a match-high 12 kills, Junior Selena Nolte had nine and freshman Karlyn Hannewald with eight. *Maddy Russell finished with seven kills, 16 digs and two aces in her final collegiate match. *Freshman Cara Ferchen had 21 assists with sophomore Payton Kennelly with 18. *Freshman Megan Woll tallied 18 digs and finishes the year with 620, a single season record.

The lady Tritons ended the season with a 14-15 record and 7-11 in conference. * Great way to end the season Gary B. will be broadcasting the “STL Health and Wellness LIVE” show every Saturday from 9-11 am on 590 The Fan and 590TheFan.com Gary Baute, a St. Louis native, may be educated in business but he lives and breathes sports. As a fan or an athlete, Gary is all sports all the time.

He hosted a radio sports program on KFNS, emceed the River City Rascals’ inaugural season, and co-hosted SportsRadioSTL.com, among many other activities.

www.mycnews.com • Community News • November 7, 2018

Recipe:

Small plates to make for appealing dishes

Ingredients: Champagne-Dijon Vinaigrette: 2 tablespoons champagne vinegar 1 teaspoon Dijon Mustard 1 tablespoon clover honey 1/2 cup organic olive oil 1/2 teaspoon garlic, minced 1/2 teaspoon sea salt 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 1 teaspoon fresh parsley, finely chopped 1 teaspoon basil, finely chopped 1 pound carrots, peeled and finely shredded 2 tablespoons Italian parsley, chopped 2 tablespoons chives, thinly sliced, plus more cut into 3/4-inch pieces, for garnish 1/3 cup Champagne Vinaigrette fine sea salt, to taste freshly ground black pepper, to taste chive sticks, for garnish Directions: In medium mixing bowl, combine champagne vinegar, Dijon and honey. Whisk constantly until well combined. While whisking, slowly drizzle in olive oil to emulsify. Add garlic, salt, pepper, parsley and basil: whisk to combine.

In mixing bowl, toss carrots, parsley and chives.

Carrots and Fresh Herbs with Champagne-Dijon Vinaigrette

– SUDOKU –

Prep time: 10 minutes | Servings: 6

Add dressing. Season, to taste, with sea salt and freshly ground black pepper. Garnish with chive sticks.

Notes: Vinaigrette can be stored in refrigerator up to five days. For zestier salad, add additional 2 tablespoons vinaigrette to carrots; serve with crusty bread.

Movie sequels could be a Thanksgiving treat

M O V I E

F-1

Fill in the blank squares in the grid, making sure that every row, column and 3-by-3 box includes all the digits 1 through 9.

Plan how you’ll adapt your favorite dishes for size – and season – with more tips and recipes at carapelliusa.com.

M

Feature

any Americans can turn the Thanksgiving Day holiday into a four-day weekend filled with friends, family, food and football.

After the pumpkin pie is served, many people also head to the local multiplex for the latest movie offerings. This year, a couple of notable sequels will arrive just before the turkey is on the table.

Three years ago, “Creed,” a film in the “Rocky” family of movies, told the story of Adonis Johnson (Michael B. Jordan), the son of Apollo Creed who was born out of wedlock. He had a good-paying office job but decided to pursue a career in boxing. He sought out Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone), his father’s friend and former boxing rival, to train him. Rocky also had his own battle to fight with cancer.

Though part of a long-running movie franchise, “Creed” really was in a class by itself, surpassing the original “Rocky” films in numerous ways. “Creed II,” due in theaters on Nov. 21, continues the story and sees the return of Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren), the Russian boxer who landed a fatal blow on Apollo Creed. In response, the cold-hearted Drago simply said, “If he dies, he dies.”

The “Creed” sequel focuses on a bout between Adonis and Viktor Drago (Florian Munteanu), Ivan’s son. Mary Ann Creed (Phylicia Rashad), having already lost her husband, doesn’t want

SEE ANSWERS ON PAGE 9

By Steve Bryan

must navigate around pop-up ads and avoid information overload.

Vanellope, who adores racing cars, finds herself drawn to “Slaughter Race,” a violent game that gives her the freedom to drive any way she likes.

“Wreck-It Ralph” worked well thanks to the dynamic between Ralph and Vanellope. Ralph adores his best friend, but she finds a kindred spirit in Shank (Gal Gadot), a “Ralph Breaks the Internet” photo courtesy Walt Disney Pictures driver in “Slaughter Race.” Vanellope also has a close encounter with a large group of notable Disney princesses. Afher adopted son dying in the ring as well. Adonis also has Bianca (Tessa Thompson), his girlfriend ter all this, Ralph is afraid his friend may never and the mother of his child, to worry about. In return to the game she left behind.

Between the turkey stuffing and the shopping, the trailer, Rocky puts the fight into perspective “Creed II” and “Ralph Breaks the Internet” defiwhen he says “He (Drago) broke things in me nitely will offer some tasty entertainment over that ain’t never been fixed. It ain’t worth it.”

Also opening on Nov. 21, “Ralph Breaks the the holiday weekend.

Internet,” the sequel to “Wreck-It Ralph,” revisits a couple of charming Disney characters.

Born and raised in South Ralph (voice of John C. Reilly), a video game St. Louis, Steve Bryan is villain with a soft heart, is still hanging with now based in Anaheim, California, and has been his best friend Vanellope von Schweetz, a racer allowed access to movie in the “Sugar Rush” arcade game who also is a and television sets to see princess. actors and directors at Unfortunately, the game’s steering wheel work. Though his writing breaks, forcing the arcade owner to unplug it. has taken him far from St. Louis, Steve is, at heart, After evacuating the game’s characters, Ralph still the same wide-eyed kid and Vanellope travel the Internet to find a re- who spent countless hours watching classic movies placement. They, like anyone with a browser, at neighborhood theaters.

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Feature

November 7, 2018 • Community News • www.mycnews.com

HELP WANTED

SERVICES PET CEMETERY

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over 2,500 pet burials; over 6 acres; over 40 yrs old. 314-576-3030 www.memoryparkpetcemetery.info www.memoryparkpetcemetery.info

SINGERS WANTED

NOVENA PRAYER TO ST. JUDE May the Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, glorified, loved and preserved throughout the world, now and forever. Sacred Heart of Jesus, Pray for us. St. Jude, Worker of Miracles, Pray for us. St. Jude, Helper of the Hopeless, Pray for us.

Say this prayer 9 times a day for 9 days, then publish. Your prayers will be answered.

It has never been known to fail.

Thank you, St. Jude. R.H.

STATEWIDE CLASSIFIEDS

HELP WANTED  ADVERTISING SALES St. Louis & St. Charles Counties WE OFFER: GENEROUS COMMISSION | PLUS BASE SALARY

Full or Part Time Flex hours Position is ideal for seasoned pro or entry level rep.

No experience necessary, but a strong work ethic and ability to self manage are essential.

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE Send resume to COMMUNITY NEWS by mail or E-mail to: info@mycnews.com 2139 Bryan Valley Commercial Dr., O’Fallon MO 63366

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www.mycnews.com • Community News • November 7, 2018

CLASSIFIEDS

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Feature

Yeggs

November 7, 2018 • Community News • www.mycnews.com

John Hanna

Moore On Life

By Cindy Moore

TONE DEAF

‘Yeggs’ is a comic series about Robert and Bill, two rabbits who have opened their own egg franchise in the Midwest (St. Louis area). We follow their day to day lives, watching as they go about the hectic task of preparing for their one big day every year. Along the way they have adventures filled with fun, comic doings and pathos.

We just got done with Halloween and let me tell you…it was frightening! The creepers, ghouls and witches were everywhere.

Pathetic creatures all of them out there begging for handouts. No, I’m not talking about the cute little gremlins trick-or-treating door to door, but the fiends campaigning for the midterm elections. It brings out the worst monstrosities one can imagine all hoping to get back to Washington.

I’ve been keeping an eye on them by watching the news. The politicians say they’ve polled the nation and have the results on what Americans think about critical issues. Now that’s a load of steamy bovine excrement since no one answers their cellphones to strangers. If an anonymous number rings, we are alerted with an “Unknown caller” message. It’s immediately sent to the trash heap of mystery calls. No one gets through.

The only people left on the planet who might answer nameless callers are the few who still have landlines and are born before 1930.

My Uncle Lemont would be one of those people. He’s mostly deaf and partially blind. He might hear it on the eighth ring only after unintentionally sitting by the phone next to his easy chair. But then it would take three more rings for him to locate the thing and answer it. I guess if the command center polling station has the patience, it technically could happen.

Eleventh ring: “Hello. Who’s calling? Speak up please!”

Command Center: “Hello, Sir. This is Washington.”

“You want to do my washing? Well that’s mighty kind of you. I’ve got a load of dirty underdrawers that need scrubbing. Come on over and get them.”

“No Sir. I mean, do you have a minute? We’d like to take a poll.”

“Now that’s a fool thing. Why would you take someone’s pole? I’m calling the authorities!”

“Sir, if you could tell me what your opinion is on medical marijuana.”

“Mary? That was my first wife’s name. Joanna was my fourth.

Don’t tell them I’m still alive!”

“I’ll mark that as an affirmative. Now tell me what your feelings are on immigration?”

“Oh, I’m all for it!”

“So I can put you down as a yes?”

“Absolutely! I carry a hose and sprinkler around now and it wears out my bones. I’d take irrigation any day.”

“Wonderful. Thank you for your time.”

Government procedures, like Lemont’s undies, need serious changing.

Cindy Moore is the mother of three superlative kids, servant of two self-indulgent felines and wife to one nifty husband. Her ficticious occupation? Archeological Humorist: someone who unearths absurdity and hilarity in strange and unusual places including public restrooms, the lint filter, and church meetings. Most recently, she excavated a find in her neighbor’s bird feeder.

The opinions expressed in this column are Cindy Moore’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.