CNSTC: February 15, 2023

Business goes to school

General Motors Wentzville Assembly Center will provide funds for manufacturing programs at St. Charles Community College

By Brett Auten

Education and industry disclosed a new partnership last week.

For decades, community colleges have been a channel between students and meaningful career paths. To ensure that there is a solid branch between education and the skills needed to succeed in today’s modern manufacturing facilities, the General Motors Wentzville Assembly Center announced a grant specifically for advanced manufacturing programs at St. Charles Community College to expand skills-based education to keep pace with modern manufacturing facilities.

St. Charles Community College was one of only seven community colleges to study and share best practices for integrating

advanced manufacturing credentials into their college curriculum. Funding provided by GM will support the colleges’ efforts to expand and leverage local programs into national networks.

“We are excited to continue our partnership with St. Charles Community College and our investment in the community,” Lamar Rucker, GM Wentzville Assembly plant executive director, said. “Through this grant, the college can further study needs for technical training and help meet the growing demand for job-ready employees in advanced manufacturing.”

In not only the automotive industry, but manufacturing technology in general is becoming more advanced, and it is increasingly important to equip the current and future workforce with the skills and train-

ing they need to succeed in modern manufacturing careers.

“The days of the dirty, noisy factory are kind of going by the wayside,” John D. Wiemann, Vice President, Workforce & Strategic Initiatives, St. Charles Community College, said. “They are going to look to us to also plan for future jobs. The electric vehicle, for example, is a whole different skill set. Not only are they looking for ways to attract high school and community college students, but also looking for us to help train existing employees.”

The seven colleges selected are located near GM facilities and will take part in an initial study that explores options that launch individuals into higher skills and

What women need to know about stroke risks. Pg. 3

Photo courtesy SCCC

Leaders from GM Wentzville Assembly Center and St. Charles Community College last week announced a grant to expand skills-based education to keep pace with modern manufacturing facilities.

Lawn mowing assistance available in St. Peters for seniors or residents with disabilities. Pg. 4 Assumption School and PSR Students Win contests. Pg. 4

Around Town

‘SCHOOL’ from cover

higher wage opportunities. SCCC will receive $40,000 each in order to help parlay local successes into national models.

“Partnering with GM is a wonderful opportunity to develop our manufacturing program to meet the needs of today’s workforce,” Dr. Barbara Kavalier, SCC president, said. “We are proud of our longstanding partnership with the GM Wentzville Assembly Center and look forward to working with GM in this new way, to give people in our area even more opportunities to learn and pursue manufacturing as a career.”

The other community colleges selected include; Ivy Tech Community College, Indiana; Lansing Community College, Michigan; Columbia State Community Col-

lege, Tennessee; Owens Community College, Ohio; Johnson County Community College, Kansas and Imperial Valley Community College, California.

“This has been going on a long time,” Wiemann said. “Industry has always supported higher education.

St. Charles Community College is a public, comprehensive two-year community college with associate degrees and certificate programs in the arts, business, sciences and career-technical fields. SCC provides workforce training and community-based personal and professional development as well as cultural, recreational and entertainment opportunities. For more information, visit www.stchas.edu.

Photos courtesy SCCC

Leaders from GM Wentzville Assembly Center and St. Charles Community College last week announced a grant to expand skills-based education to keep pace with modern manufacturing facilities.

What women need to know about stroke risks

It may not be widely known that women face unique risk factors for stroke throughout their lifetime. Things like pregnancy, preeclampsia and chronic stress can increase the risk for high blood pressure, a leading cause of stroke.

Cardiovascular disease, including stroke, is the leading cause of death among women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), and one in five women will have a stroke. However, a large majority of strokes can be prevented.

Caring for yourself by understanding your risk factors can help reduce your risk for stroke and provide a better quality of life. Start managing your stroke risk with these tips from the American Stroke Association, a division of the American Heart Association:

Monitor your blood pressure

The first step you can take in reducing your risk for stroke is knowing your blood pressure and keeping it in a healthy range. High blood pressure is the No. 1 preventable cause of stroke, according to the American Heart Association.

The best way to know your blood pressure is to have it measured at least once per year by a health care professional and regularly monitor it at home then discuss the numbers with a doctor. For most people, a normal blood pressure should be 120/80 mm HG or less.

In addition to properly monitoring blood pressure, maintaining a healthy weight, being physically active, eating healthfully and reducing or eliminating alcohol and tobacco usage can help control blood pressure. If you do develop high blood pressure, work with a health care professional on a plan to help manage it.

Plan for pregnancy

In the United States, high blood pressure during pregnancy is becoming more common, according to the CDC, and medical conditions including preeclampsia, gestational diabetes and blood clots during pregnancy all increase stroke risk during and immediately following a pregnancy.

Managing conditions like high blood pressure before getting pregnant helps keep you and your baby healthy during pregnancy and beyond. In addition, your health during and immediately after a pregnancy can shape the lifelong health of you and your child. If you’re plan-

ning to become pregnant or are currently pregnant, it’s important to regularly monitor your blood pressure.

Take care of your mental health

Some stress is unavoidable but constant stress is not healthy. Chronic or constant stress may lead to high blood pressure and other unhealthy behavior choices, which can increase risk for stroke.

Based on findings in a Stress in America 2020 survey conducted by the American Psychological Association, the top sources of stress are money, work, family responsibilities and health concerns. Managing your stress and blood pressure can improve your overall health and well-being. Reclaim control of your schedule and build in time to invest in your health. Find 10 minutes every day to do something for you, like listening to music, meditating or going for a walk.

Learn the warning signs

A stroke can happen to anyone at any point in life. Immediate treatment may help minimize the long-term effects of a stroke and even prevent death. Learn how to spot a stroke F.A.S.T:

• Face drooping – Does one side of the face droop or is it numb? Ask the person to smile. Is the person’s smile uneven?

• Arm weakness – Is one arm weak or numb? Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward?

• Speech difficulty – Is speech slurred? Is the person unable to speak or hard to understand? Ask the person to repeat a simple sentence like “The sky is blue.”

• Time to call 911 – If someone shows any of these symptoms, even if the symptoms go away, call 911 and get to a hospital immediately. Check the time so you’ll know when the first symptoms appeared.

Talk to your doctor about ways to improve your well-being and help prevent stroke. Find more wellness tips at stroke. org.

Photo courtesy of Getty Images

Spring and summer lawn mowing assistance available in St. Peters for seniors or residents with disabilities

St. Peters residents who are older or who have disabilities could qualify to have their lawns mowed up to 10 times between April 1 and Oct. 1, through the city’s Lawn Mowing Assistance Program.

Applications for the program are available online and must be submitted by 5 p.m. Feb. 14.

To qualify, homeowners must meet established guidelines and income levels. Everyone living in the home must be at least 62 years old or have severe disabilities. Applicants are required to provide proof of income. The maximum household income may not exceed the following levels:

• One-person household ($33,250)

• Two-person household ($38,000)

• Three-person household ($42,750)

• Four-person household ($47,450)

To download an application for the program, go on-

line to www.stpetersmo.net/cdbg-programs.aspx and select Lawn Mowing Assistance.

You may also request to have an application mailed to you by calling 636-279-8279 and choosing Option 4. Be sure to spell your name and provide your street address, and leave a phone number that can be used to contact you.

Completed applications with required documents must be returned to St. Peters City Hall before 5 p.m. on Feb. 14. Applicants may also email completed applications, with required documents, to communityprojects@stpetersmo.net.

The city received Community Development Block Grant funds for the Lawn Mowing Assistance Program from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. Funds will be disbursed based on lowest income first, then by time the applications were received.

Assumption School and PSR Students Win K of C Poster and Essay Contests

More than 300 students from Assumption Catholic School and the Parish School of Religion (PSR) participated in the annual Knights of Columbus (K of C) O’Fallon Council #2269 poster and essay contests this year.

On Jan. 20, during a school prayer service at Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary Church, Ken Thornhill of the Knights of Columbus announced the winners of the Keep Christ in Christmas Poster Contest and the Catholic Citizenship Essay Contest. Of the many entries, four of the winners have advanced to the international contests for consideration.

Using their creative talents and imaginations, students ages five-to-14 who participated in the poster contest were asked to submit artwork that portrayed a deeper understanding of the true, spiritual meaning of Christmas. For the essay contest, participants in sixth-through-eighth grades were asked to write short stories that expressed their views about the topic, “How do I evangelize family and friends.” Overall, six, first place winners were awarded cash prizes, and several students acquired honorable mentions for their work. Everyone who entered the contests took home a certificate of appreciation for participating.

2022-23 POSTER AND ESSAY CONTEST WINNERS

Keep Christ in Christmas Poster Contest:

• Sixth-through-eighth grades - First Place: Melody Gagliano

• Honorable Mentions: Nora Bertel, Lizzie Lifritz and Brooklynn Douglas

• Third-through-fifth grades - First Place: Ben Goff

• Honorable Mentions: Lex Felix, Cooper Gonzalez and Ethan Heiss

• Kindergarten-through-second grades - First Place: Nora Reller

• Honorable Mentions: Grace Meyer and Charlotte Conley

Catholic Citizenship Essay, “How do I evangelize family and friends,” Contest:

• Eighth Grade - First Place: Meagan Davies

• Honorable Mentions: Declan Jeffries and Isabel Fontana

• Seventh Grade - First Place: Danica Willis

• Honorable Mentions: Jack Chitwood and Lizzie Lifritz

• Sixth Grade - First Place: Kate Eckhard

• Honorable Mentions: Noah Kleckner and Brody Bross

Winning poster entries from Melody Gagliano, Ben Goff and Nora Reller, along with the winning essay from Meagan Davies, have advanced to the Knights of Columbus International competition that will be announced in March.

Knights of Columbus (K of C) O’Fallon Council #2269 contest essay winners.

Take Notice . . .

The events listed in this section are the latest updates as of press time, please check with individual sites for the most up to date cancellations and reschedule info.

EVENTS

Feb. 18: Dance

St. Charles Dance Club is hosting their monthly dance at Dardenne Prairie Hall at 2199 Post Road in O’Fallon. Dance to the band Trilogy. Free dance lessons from 6:15 to 7 p.m. Bring your own snacks. For details email dinamaria1@ outlook.com.

March 11: Trivia night

Saint Charles Daughters of the American Revolution and Fernando de Leyba Sons of the American Revolution are hosting a trivia night at St. Peter’s Catholic Church Parish Center at 221 First Capitol Drive in St. Charles. Doors open at 6 p.m. The event starts at 7 p.m. A table of eight is $160. Contact Jan Radcliff at 314578-4242 or Bernadette Hall at bhall63376@gmail.com to reserve your table or for more information.

March 18: Quilt social

A quilt social hosted by the quilters from Immaculate Conception Parish of Dardenne Prairie will be held in ICD parish hall which is located on the lower level of the church. Doors open at 10 a.m. and bingo starts at noon. Lunch and homemade desserts will be available for purchase. All over the age of 16 are welcome.

March 25: Trivia night

Hop on over to the Pezold Banquet Center at 5701 Highway N in Cottleville to support United Services for Children at their annual trivia night. Teams of eight are $200 per table. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. and the action starts at 7 p.m. This is a 21 and older event. Register at www.usfctrivia.org.

May 24: Theater auditions

Registration is open now for auditions for St. John UCC summer show for Performing Arts Camp, “Matilda the Musical Jr!” for grades sixthrough-12. Call Anna DiVesta at 636-946-0961 or visit stjohnucc.org/PAC-audition.

March 31: Fundraiser gala

Resonating Hope’s Starry Night Spring Gala is at 7 p.m. at Water’s Edge Banquet Center at 200 Salt Lick Road – St. Peters Golf Course. Enjoy a date night or evening with your friends with a formal

three course catered dinner, dessert, dancing with live music by The Magnifikats, silent auction and raffles. Proceeds go to support arts and education for St. Louis’ inner-city kids. Tickets are $45/person or $425 for a table of 10. Tickets online at ResonatingHope.org or Eventbrite.com.

March 31: Fish fries

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Fish Fry takes place at 2 Seton Court in St. Charles from 4-7 p.m. every Friday in Lent, except Good Friday. Dine-in or carry-out orders only. Order online at MKT.com/seasfishfry. Adult plates are $13. Child plates are $6.

ONGOING EVENTS

Mondays: Optimist Club meetings

The Wentzville/Lake St. Louis Optimist Club meets on the second and fourth Monday of each month at 6:30 p.m. at the Wentzville IHOP, 10 Layla Lane, Wentzville, MO.. For more information contact Ed Jurotich at 314-560-1868.

Mondays: Take off Pounds

Sensibly

TOPS meet every Monday at Holy Cross Lutheran Church at 8945 Veterans Memorial Hwy in O’Fallon. Meetings at 9:30 a.m. with weigh in beginning at 8:30 a.m. For more information please call Leogene Weber. 636-399-3124.

Mondays: Parent support group

Because I Love You, (BILY), Gateway parent support group meets every Monday at 7:30 p.m. at First United Methodist Church at 801 First Capitol Dr. in St. Charles. For information and directions, please contact the helpline at 314-993-7550 or email gateway_parent_help@ yahoo.com. BILY is a program of self-help for parents of troubled children (all ages). We are not professionals, but parents helping each other. The meetings are free to attend.

Mondays: NAMI St. Louis Connection Recovery Support Group

If you have mental health concerns and need support, please come on Mondays at 6:30 p.m. at Friedens United Church of Christ at 1703 Old Highway 94 South in St. Charles.

Mondays: Alcoholics Anonymous

If you want to drink, that’s your business. If you want to stop, we can help. Call Alcoholics Anonymous at 636-970-0013.

Mondays: Kiwanis Club meeting Cottleville-Weldon Spring Kiwanis Club meets the first Monday of the month at noon at Bandana’s at 3446 Pheasant Meadows Dr. in O’Fallon. Contact Mary Vaughan at 314-581-0497 or Karen Grant at 773-914-4900 for more information.

Mondays: Seasoned eye carvers meeting

Meetings are held from 9 to 11 a.m. at the St. Charles Senior Citizens Center at 1455 Fairgrounds (near the Bass Pro Shop). Visitors are always welcome. For more information visit http://www.stcharlesareawoodcarvers.com/ or contact Charles Sapp at cwsapp@charter.net.

Mondays: St. Peters Rotary Club Noon at St. Peters City Hall, One St. Peters Centre Blvd. www.stpetersrotary.org.

Mondays: Choral Arts Singers practice Choral Arts Singers practice on Mondays, from 7-9 p.m. at Connection ChristianChurch, 1332 Feise Road in Dardenne Prairie. New singers (high school and older) are welcome. Auditions are not required. See www.concertarts.org.

Mondays: St. Charles County Council of the Blind meetings Business meetings are held on the first Monday of each month unless otherwise specified. Currently, during the COVID pandemic, meetings are held via conference call, starting at 6:45 pm. For more information, contact Beverly Kaskadden at 636-561-6947.

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays: Fitness First Exercise Class 9:30-10:30 a.m., American Legion Hall, 504 Luetkenhaus Blvd., Wentzville. 314-3696521.

Mondays: American Legion Post 388 Meets Meets the fourth Monday of the month at 6:30 p.m. at American Legion Hall, 607 Westridge Dr., O’Fallon, 636219-0553

Mondays: Measurement Mondays: 10 a.m. - 12 noon at the ST. Charles Health Deparment in the Upper Level Conference room. Measurement Mon-

days is a family-friendly breastfeeding support group. We are open to all moms and momsto-be who are breastfeeding or interested in breastfeeding. The group is supported by the St Charles County WIC program so there will be information about the program available at each meeting. Each meeting will be a little different

than the last. There will be baby weigh-ins, introductions, games, interactive education, group conversation, and even snacks.

Mondays and Wednesdays: Tai Chi for arthritis class

Every Monday and Wednes-

SUDOKU answers from page F-1

day a Tai Chi for arthritis class, sponsored by the city of St. Charles Parks and Recreation, takes place from 9:15 - 10 a.m. at Webster Park across from the Family Arena. This is a class that is taught nationally to manage arthritis and to prevent falls. For more information call 636-949-3372.

CROSSWORD answers from page F-4

TheHair & Nail Nook, or “The Nook” as we call it, has been turning heads since we opened our doors on April 30, 2015. Stephanie and Nikki met back in 2010 when Nikki went to work at a salon with Stephanie as a nail tech. After becoming great friends and working together for over several years, we had the opportunity to re-open the location as our own. It took six months to do a complete remodel. Stephanie’s dad is a contractor and helped and guided us through the project. Along with the help of family and friends (and a few band-aids) we turned four walls into our dream workspace!

Built with love and managed by experienced beauty professionals,“The Nook” is now home to two additional operators, Katie and Dana. Together we offer all of your beauty needs, from cuts & color to nails & waxing. We love what we do and where we do it!

We invite you to stop by sometime and check it out!

Sports you see with Gary B . . .

to make the score 5-3 heading into the final stanza.

Soccer Ambush takes victory from Eskay’s hat trick

The St. Louis Ambush in the 2022-23 will play in the Major Arena Soccer League (MASL) with their home games at The Family Arena in St. Charles.

The team clawed out a 7-5 victory over the Florida Tropics Saturday night at The Family Arena. The win improved the Ambush to 5-8-1 on the season and was an important comeback after losing 7-0 to Milwaukee Friday night.

Head Coach Jeff Locker held a closed-door meeting with his team before the game and whatever was said must have resonated with the team as they played a hard 60 minutes and came away with the win.

After a scoreless first quarter, Florida got the first tally of the night when Vini Dantas snuck a shot through a cluster of players at the goalmouth in the sixth minute of the second period.

The Ambush answered when Billy Stimac headed the ball into the goal nearly two minutes later. St. Louis knotted the score to 2-2 in the tenth minute when Christian Briggs navigated a shot through Florida’s defensive wall.

The Ambush took a 3-2 lead on Will Eskay’s goal, followed by a nice sequence when Eskay passed to Almeida, who sent a pass across the goal mouth to Wil Nyamsi, who put the ball in the net with just over a minute remaining, giving the Ambush a 4-2 edge at halftime.

The third quarter was a scoreless affair until the thirteen-minute mark, when Eskay sent a pass to Almeida, who headed a high shot that Frederick got a hand on, but couldn’t stop from finding the net. Florida used the unusual tactic of the sixth attacker in the third quarter, but it worked when Ruggles found the back of the net

St. Louis increased their lead to 6-3 in the tenth minute of the fourth quarter when Pepe Junqueira passed across the penalty area to a charging Will Eskay, who pounded in his second goal of the contest. Florida wasn’t going away quietly though as they employed the sixth attacker again, resulting in a goal from Dantas to make it a 6-4 game. Florida continued to chip away at the lead as Julio Varela put a high shot out of reach of Ambush goalkeeper Paulo Nascimento in the thirteenth minute of the period to make it a one goal game (6-5). St. Louis provided one more thrill for the home crowd when Eskay completed the hat trick with 16 seconds left in the match for a 7-5 Ambush triumph.

*Keeping the pressure on

Bring your dog to an Ambush game

The St. Louis Ambush is hosting a “bring your dog” event during their home game against the Milwaukee Wave on March 5 at 4:05 p.m. at the Family Arena in St. Charles.

In order to bring a dog to the game, fans can purchase tickets for their four-legged friend on the website. All proceeds from these pet ticket sales benefit Five Acres Animal Shelter. A dog from the shelter will be delivering the game ball to the field, and during halftime all dogs are welcome to be part of the “pet parade” around the field.

*Great soccer venue with your pet

Gary Baute, aka Gary B, a St. Louis native, maybe educated in business but he lives and breathes sports. As a fan and an athlete, Gary is all sports all the time. He hosted a radio sports program on KFNS, emceed the River City Rascals’ inaugural season and broadcasted for several indoor football teams since 1999.

Recipe: Stay on track with dairy snacks

EveryJanuary, individuals create New Year’s resolutions to help keep them on track for the upcoming year. Despite the drop in resolve, there are still ways to stay on track not only during February, but also throughout the entire year. One simple way is by powering up with dairy snacks.

“Even if an individual is no longer following a certain diet or health plan, adding dairy every day can help maintain physical strength and health while reaching the recommended three servings,” states registered dietitian Maggie Cimarolli.

Creamy Veggie Dip

Packed full of protein and delicious flavors, this creamy veggie dip just made snacking even better!

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Yield: 12 servings

Ingredients:

8 oz. light cream cheese, softened

½ cup light mayonnaise

½ cup Greek yogurt, plain

2 green onions, diced

Directions:

¼ cup fresh parsley, finely chopped

2 Tbsp. fresh dill, finely chopped

½ tsp. salt

¼ tsp. pepper

Combine all ingredients in a food processor and pulse until smooth. If you do not have a food processor, you can combine all ingredients in a bowl and whisk together until smooth. Cover and chill for 30 minutes.

Serve chilled with your choice of raw veggies, crackers, or any other snack you like to dip and enjoy!

Formoreinformationonpowerpackeddairysnacks,visitwww.stldairycouncil.org

2023 movie preview: Ant-Man, Tom Cruise, Shazam return to theaters

Movie:

By Steve Bryan

Born and raised in South St. Louis, Steve Bryan is now based in Anaheim, California, and has been allowed access to movie and television sets to see actors and directors at work. Though his writing has taken him far from St. Louis, Steve is, at heart, still the same wide-eyed kid who spent countless hours watching classic movies at neighborhood theaters.

In2019, Marvel and the Walt Disney Company were the undisputed box office champions. After 12 years of planning and execution, “Avengers: Endgame” packed theater seats and generated $2.8 billion at the box office. Disney Studios followed that with Jon Favreau’s live-action adaptation of “The Lion King,” “Toy Story 4” and “Spider Man: Far from Home.” As the Christmas holidays approached, “Star Wars: Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker” attracted fans while Elsa, the Snow Queen, kept things chill in “Frozen II.”

After a banner year, movie attendance suffered setbacks in 2020 because of the pandemic. In 2023, however, the list of upcoming theatrical releases has been quite promising. Due in theaters on Feb. 17, “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania” shows Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) and Hope Van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly) exploring the Quantum Realm. Michael Douglas and Michelle Pfeiffer round out the cast as Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne, the original Ant Man and the Wasp. This film also introduces Jonathan Michael Majors as Kang the Conqueror, one of Marvel’s deadliest characters.

In 2022, Tom Cruise turbo-charged theaters with “Top Gun: Maverick,” the long-awaited sequel to the 1986 summertime blockbuster. This summer, Cruise will star in “Mission: Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One,” which picks up where “Mission: Impossible – Fallout” left off. “Dead Reckoning” signals the beginning of the end for Ethan Hunt, Cruise’s iconic character in the “Mission: Impossible” universe. “Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One” has a current release date of July 14.

When it comes to horror, Wes Craven knows how to scare audiences. He directed 1996’s “Scream,” a decidedly different take on slasher films from past decades. Kevin Wil-

liamson (“Dawson’s Creek”) wrote the script about a group of friends terrorized by a killer wearing a ghostly mask. The film opened on Casey Becker (Drew Barrymore) who was home alone in the town of Woodsboro when she received a deadly phone call from someone obsessed with horror films. “Scream VI,” the latest film, has been given a March 10 release date.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson stirred up controversy with “Black Adam,” a companion film to 2019’s “Shazam!” Johnson played Teth-Adam, a slave who had been imprisoned centuries earlier but showed his true colors in the 21st century. The jury has been out on whether or not the film was a huge bomb, even with Henry Cavill’s surprise cameo as Superman. The outlook for “Shazam! Fury of the Gods” looked brighter with Zachary Levi reprising the role of Shazam. Due to unusual strategic moves from Warner Bros. Discovery’s CEO David Zaslav, it’s hard to tell when – or if –that film will be released.

If all goes well, though, Ant-Man, Tom Cruise, Scream and Shazam should appear in theaters and make 2023 an exciting year at the movies.

Fill in the blank squares in the grid, making sure that every row, column and 3-by-3 box includes all the digits 1 through 9.

‘‘Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania’ photo courtesy Marvel Studios

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PET CEMETERY over 4,000 pet burials; over 6 acres; over 60 yrs old. 314-576-3030

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CROSSWORD: VALENTINE’S DAY

adventures filled with fun, comic doings and pathos.

By Cindy Moore Moore

on Life

ApparentlyChina just threw some kind of major shindig and one of their party favors tore loose and es caped. Hmm, some leftover from a New Year’s bash maybe?

Eye spy in the sky

Those guys sure know how to have fun, I mean this thing was the size of three city buses. What kind of celebration needs that big of a balloon unless you’re King Kong. When’s his birthday anyway?

Of course, all accusations of it being a spy balloon have been denied. I guess maybe the thing just broke off its tether and drifted away – conveniently towards Alaska. It then made a sharp right at Canada and floated down to Montana.

Let’s see now, Alaska and Montana, two of the least populated places if you’re a spy craft trying to sneak into the U.S. undetected. But we’re not supposed to make any rash judgments.

Here’s what’s even more disturbing, we have the most advanced technology on the planet and this snoopy bag of gas was spotted by some civilians with binoculars! Well call me blind and slap on a pair of skepticals, but is this how we’re supposed to believe it actually was discovered:

“Hey Norm, take a look at this. I think I may have just spotted a white-bellied angry bird up in the sky.”

“Naw Earl, wrong time of year. What you’ve got there is an ingenious part of a duplicitous smuggling racket.”

“You think?”

“I’m positive. That’s one of them there spy balloons you see in the 007 movies.”

“Well, I’ll be a monkey’s knuckle. What do you think they’d be smuggling in?”

“Something highly valuable, extremely rare and exceedingly

“Noo…you don’t mean?!”

“Ya, I mean just that. Piece it all together and it makes perfect sense. Only a devious mind would think to make their inflatable blend in with the same colors

“You’re telling me that they’d have the nerve to smuggle in that white illegal contraband right over our very noses?!”

“Oh ya, I mean just that.”

“White gold?!”

“Yes…eggs!”

“Now that explains everything. Don’t suppose we should shoot it down should we?”

“Nope, I’m sure the Air Force will intercept its radio signals and scramble them.”

“Not a good idea.”

“Huh? Why’s that?”

“Cause nobody should ever scramble anything when dealing with three busloads of eggs.”

Cindy Moore is the mother of three superlative kids, servant of two self-indulgent felines and wife to one nifty husband. Her ficticious occupation? Archeological Humorist: someone who unearths absurdity and hilarity in strange and unusual places including public restrooms, the lint filter, and church meetings. Most recently, she excavated a find in her neighbor’s bird feeder.

The opinions expressed in this column are Cindy Moore’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.

ACROSS

1. “Without further ____,” pl.

5. Sweet 16 gift

8. Steps to the river, in India

12. *Michael Bublé’s “____ the Last Dance for Me”

13. Bigger than big

14. Nonkosher

15. Big-ticket one

16. October birthstone

17. *#5 Down’s target

18. *Reason to celebrate Lupercalia, Valentine’s Day predecessor

20. Make over

21. Omit

22. Hexagonal fastener

23. December birthstone, pl.

26. Most gemütlich

30. Ed.’s request

31. Two dots above a letter

34. Brussels org.

35. Church recesses

37. ____ or chicken?

38. Encourage (2 words)

39. What hoarders do

40. He crossed the Rubicon

42. Jet follower

43. English county courts, in the olden days

45. Gentlemen’s

gentlemen

47. Chop off

48. Paparazzo’s quest

50. Port in Yemen

52. *Heart-shaped box content

56. Range

57. Top notch

58. Baron Munchhausen, e.g.

59. Journalists and reporters

60. Speed unit

61. All is well that does this well

62. Bald eagle’s nest

63. Ever, to a poet

64. Tinkerbell’s powder

DOWN

1. “Clueless” catch phrase

2. *Get-together

3. End of a break-up phrase

4. Explosive of Czechoslovakian origin

5. *Winged one

6. September stone

7. Bank on

8. *____ card

9. Not tails

10. ‘70s hairdo

11. Sylvester, to Tweety

13. Wholism, alt. sp.

14. Monotonous hum

19. Intestinal obstruction

22. “Wayne’s World” catchphrase

23. Japanese port

24. Necklace clasp location, pl.

25. Affirmatives

26. *Kisses’ partners

27. National emblem

28. Type of weasel

29. BBQ tool

32. Pasturelands

33. Accompanies wisdom?

36. *a.k.a. St. Valentine’s Malady

38. *Muse of love poetry

40. Large edible mushroom

41. Long-legged shore bird

44. Regions

46. Bummed about

48. Bell’s invention

49. Laurels

50. Homesteader’s measure

51. Active one

52. Soap block

53. Hokkaido language

54. Small amounts

55. Formerly, formerly

56. *Romantic destination

‘Yeggs’ is a comic series about Robert and Bill, two rabbits who have opened their own egg franchise in the Midwest (St. Louis area). We follow their day to day lives, watching as they go about the hectic task of preparing for their one big day every year. Along the way they have