CNSTC: October 12, 2022

Learn and grow

By Brett Auten

It is progress as promised as a new Wentzville middle school opened its doors this semester.

North Point Middle School, located at 2275 West Meyer Road, opened the school year on time, thanks in part to the support of taxpayers and funding from Proposition C.

With its continuing growth, the Wentz ville School District has been ultra-busy, completing 10 construction projects, all of which have come in on time and un der budget. All 10 construction projects

were completed under props E and C. The Wentzville School District was the fast est-growing school district in Missouri for the past two decades and now has more than 17,300 students.

The halls were bustling with the sound of the new students enjoying the space and making the most of this 216,962 square foot school. North Point Middle School is the largest middle school built in the Wentzville School District to date.

The building has many new details, in cluding the introduction of an American Sign Language class and the inclusion of flexible seating throughout its classrooms.

According to experts, this flexibility in seating gives students the opportunity to increase productivity and adapt to their new learning environment.

The building itself is ready to adapt and grow, with a possible classroom wing ex pansion built directly into the floor plan.

Dr. Kelly Mantz has been beaming since taking up her post as building principal.

“Without a doubt, it has been a pleasure welcoming staff, students, and parents to our new home,” Mantz said. “We have de cided that North Point Middle School is a place where everyone belongs and students

Assumption

Photo

‘LEARN’ from cover

become the best versions of themselves. Everything that we do, day in and day out, is for the betterment of our NPMS commu nity.”

The school has spacious views and wideopen hallways on both the first and second floors and the building utilized the same blueprints from Frontier Middle School, a practice which officials said saved the Wentzville School District $1.3 million since 2005.

While the two schools have similar blue prints, each have their own unique culture.

The large open common areas have be come commonplace for group work or class collaboration. The school also features two gymnasiums and a large health room. The main gymnasium and surrounding areas serve as the storm shelter and will comfort ably protect all students and faculty if such a need arises.

The students are given the opportunities to join clubs, activities, and eighth grade sports as well as a new six-lane, 200-meter

gravel track to let loose at.

The North Point Middle School faculty and staff introduced Den Time on Sept. 6 as a designated time for students to meet with like-minded students. They are being given the opportunity to learn about how to be academically successful while navi gating middle school.

“Our goal is for students to meet other students who share the same interests and discover that they are more alike than dif ferent,” Mantz said.

Photos courtesy Wentzville School District North Point Middle School made its debut this semester, it is the 10th project completed by the Wentzville School District thanks to Props E and C.

Steps to properly manage blood pressure

Nearly half of all American adults have high blood pressure, or hyperten sion, according to the Centers for Dis ease Control and Prevention. Of those, about 75% don’t have it under control, and many may not even realize they have it unless they experience other complications.

In fact, high blood pressure is a lead ing cause and controllable risk factor for heart disease and stroke as well as oth er issues such as kidney failure, vision loss and sexual problems. However, the American Heart Association recom mends taking these simple steps to help control your levels and manage risks.

1. Know your numbers

In most cases, normal blood pressure is 120/80 mm HG or less. Readings con sistently higher than 130/80 are con sidered high blood pressure. Have your blood pressure measured at least once a year by a health care professional and regularly monitor it at home with a vali dated monitor then discuss the readings with your doctor. Getting accurate read ings can help ensure the most appropri ate treatment should any problems arise.

2. Maintain a Healthy weight

If you’re overweight or obese, you’re at increased risk of high blood pressure. Losing just 3-5% of your body weight can help improve your numbers. There are an abundance of plans and programs available that can assist with weight loss, and taking positive steps with a friend or family member may help with moti vation.

3. Get active

To maximize health benefits and help keep blood pressure in the normal range, the American Heart Association recommends adults get at least 150 min utes per week of moderate activity, 75 minutes of vigorous activity or a com bination of the two. Try activities like brisk walking, swimming, bicycling or dancing. For example, the Get Down with Your Blood Pressure campaign uses music and dance to help remember the four easy steps to self-monitor blood pressure:

• Get It – grab your self-monitoring blood pressure (SMBP) device

• Slip It – slide the SMBP cuff up your arm

• Cuff It – wrap the cuff snugly, but not too tight

• Check It – check your blood pres sure on the device

4. Eat well

Making small, simple changes to your eating habits can go a long way toward keeping you and your family healthy.

Eating fruits and vegetables, such as mangos, avocados and blueberries, can lower blood pressure over time. Other smart choices include nuts and seeds, whole grains, lean proteins and fish.

5. Reduce alcohol and tobacco usage

Smoking compounds risk factors for heart disease, such as high blood pres sure and diabetes, and the chemicals in tobacco smoke can harm your heart and blood vessels. Similarly, consuming al cohol excessively (more than two drinks per day) is associated with high blood pressure. Limiting alcohol consumption and stopping smoking – or avoiding secondhand smoke – can help reduce your risk.

If you develop high blood pressure, work with a health care professional to manage it, and visit heart.org/hbpcon trol to find local blood pressure resourc es, step-by-step self-monitoring videos and more.

Monitoring your blood pressure at home

Knowing how to correctly check your blood pressure is important, especial ly if your doctor recommends regular self-monitoring at home.

• Be still. Don’t smoke, drink caf feine or exercise during the 30 minutes before measuring your blood pressure. Empty your bladder and take at least 5 minutes of quiet rest time before mea suring.

• Sit correctly. Sit with your back straight and supported. Keep your feet flat on the floor and your legs uncrossed. Support your arm on a flat surface, such as a table, with your bicep at heart lev el. Place the bottom of the cuff directly above the bend of your elbow. Never take measurements over sleeves or other clothing.

• Measure at the same time every day. For greatest consistency, take read ings at the same time daily, such as a set time in the morning and evening.

• Take multiple readings and re cord the results. Each time you measure, take 2-3 readings approximately 1 min ute apart and record the results to share with your doctor.

Photo courtesy of Getty Images

Heartland Commercial Real Estate breaks ground on state-of-the-art self-storage facility in St. Peters

St. Louis area developer Heartland Commercial Real Estate has broken ground on its newest cli mate-controlled self- and RV-storage facility in the St. Louis metropolitan area.

This new 100,000 square-foot facility will be locat ed on ten acres at Mid Rivers Mall Drive and Ecol ogy Drive in St. Peters. LifeStorage, Inc., a self-stor age management company, will manage the facility which will also operate under the LifeStorage brand. LifeStorage manages more than 1,100 locations in 36 states.

“We are very excited to break ground on this proj ect in St. Peters,” said Brian Mueller, majority own er of this project. “We’re building a state-of-the-art self-storage facility that will have amenities that go hand-in-hand with RV owners’ needs – but not com monly found at storage sites in the area.”

The LifeStorage facility will include more than 600 self-storage units and 150 covered and surface RV storage spaces. The RV spaces offer sought-after

electrical outlets, and the facility will feature an onsite dump and rinse station, as well as vacuum, air and ice services in order help customers prepare for RV trips.

“We would like to welcome Heartland Commer cial Real Estate and are excited to welcome LifeStor age to the city of St. Peters with its state-of-the-art self-storage facility,” said St. Peters Mayor Leonard B. Pagano. “Not only will it offer self-storage, but also RV storage with amazing amenities! We are sure it will be a huge success in the city of St. Peters.”

Work will get underway immediately, with a goal of having the storage facility completed in June 2023. Reservations for the self-storage units and covered and surface RV storage spaces are expected to start in April 2023.

Finish the Sunset Fridays season strong ‘On the Road’ with Power Play at the Cultural Arts Centre

The Sunset Concert series ended its outdoor sea son with a bang at a recent Sunset Saturday, but the music is not over yet in St. Peters.

The final Sunset Fridays concert of the year will be “On the Road” at the Cultural Arts Theatre on Oct. 14, from 7 – 9 p.m. The group Power Play will take you on a musical ride down memory lane with a mix of Jazz, Blues, R&B, Motown, Disco and much more.

Seating is limited for this free event, so come early to claim your spot. Doors open at 6 p.m. Refresh ments will also be available, including adult beverag

es. The Cultural Arts Theatre is located at St. Peters City Hall, One St. Peters Centre Blvd.

Since 2013, the City of St. Peters' Sunset Fridays concert series has brought free, live, local music to thousands each year. Visit www.stpetersmo.net/sun set for more information about the Sunset concert series. There are also over two dozen Virtual Sunset Fridays “On the Road” Concerts available for on-de mand viewing on SPTVnow.net, featuring local fa vorites such as Wade Trent, Garden Party, Serapis, and more.

The Community News receives statewide awards

The Community News was the recipient of four awards in the statewide Missouri Press Association 2022 Better Newspaper Contest.

These awards were for work done during the 2021 calendar year. The Community News was recog nized among weekly newspapers across the state of Missouri.

Columnist Cindy Moore received First Place for Best Columnist – Humorous. Staff writer Charlotte Beard won two Second Place awards for Best News

Story and Best Story About Education.

Beard also received an Honorable Mention award for Best Story About Rural Life or Agriculture.

“It’s always nice to see the work of our staff recog nized,” said Mathew DeKinder, Publisher and Edi tor-In-Chief of the Community News. “I am incred ibly proud of the level of professionalism and hard work our entire staff puts into this paper on a weekly basis.”

Assumption Parish O’Fallon entertains two-day fall festival Oct. 15-16

Enjoy live music, haunted and traditional hayrides, tasty food, games, inflatables, refreshing spirits, raffles, and a country store from 4-10 p.m., Saturday, Oct. 15, and 11 a.m.-6 p.m., Sunday, Oct. 16, at Assump tion Church in O’Fallon. All are welcome to attend this popular two-day festival that features pork steak and sausage dinners on Saturday, fried chicken din ner on Sunday, and lots of fall fun for the entire family.

Here’s the lineup for this year’s event:

Saturday, Oct. 15:

The festivities kickoff at 4 p.m. with inflatables, barrel train rides, and a variety of games for the kids, as well as, plenty of beer, wine, margaritas, and games for the adults. Under the big tent, Music by MadaLyn takes to the stage from 4 – 6 p.m., and the St. Louis band Almost Famous performs from 7 – 10 p.m. Beginning at dusk, picnic-goers of all ages are in vited to experience a 15-minute haunt ed hayride ride through three “scare zones” in the woods. Tickets for haunt ed hayrides are $5 per person. Pork steak and sausage dinners are available all day, and are $12 for adults and $8 for children 11 and under.

Enjoy live music, haunted and traditional hayrides, tasty food, games, inflatables, refreshing spirits, raffles, and a country store from 4-10 p.m., Saturday, Oct. 15, and 11 a.m.-6 p.m., Sunday, Oct. 16, at Assumption Church in O’Fallon.

the first to throw a whipped cream pie at your favorite Assumption priests, teachers, school administrators and staff! The contest is scheduled from 4 –7 p.m., Saturday, and 11 a.m. – 3 p.m., Sunday.

Sunday, Oct. 16:

Adult and children’s activities and games resume at 11 a.m. Cole Blue Steel, the popular O’Fallon coun try band featuring Cole Davis, is set to entertain guests from 1 – 5 p.m. Fried chicken dinner with all the fix ings will be offered all day, and cost $12 for adults and $8 for children 11 and under. And for those seeking a not-so-spooky hayride, old-fashioned tractor-pulled wagon rides through the beautiful church grounds will be avail able all day. Tickets for traditional hay rides are $3 per person.

In addition, a variety of grilled pic nic foods will be available for purchase throughout the weekend, and carryout service is available. Traditional picnic style seating will be offered throughout the picnic grounds and under the big tent. For those who wish to eat inside, seating will be open in the parish cen ter. Funnel cake, cotton candy, and a new dessert stand are sure to be a fa vorite.

The “Pie in the Face” challenge is something you won’t want to miss Be

Assumption Quilters will be raffling off two beautifully handmade quilts: one is king-sized, and the other an el egant baby quilt. Tickets for the quilt raffle are $2 each or three for $5, and can be purchased at the event. A 50/50 raffle will be ongoing. Those tickets are $5 each or 3 for $10. And a new Spirit Wagon filled with a variety of alcohol ic beverages is up for grabs this year. Tickets are $10 each or three for $20. The Sprit Wagon will be raffled off to one lucky winner at the end of the event.

A special thanks to Carpet Creations + Flooring Design of O’Fallon, and Sherman Towing/O’Fallon Garage for their generous festival event sponsor ships this year. Both business logos will be featured on the commemorative cups that will be given out at the beer garden area during the event.

“We are grateful for the support from all our generous community partners, as well as those who travel near and far to enjoy this longtime tradition at Assumption Parish,” says Father Nick Kastenholz, Pastor.

For more information about the As sumption Fall Festival, call the parish at 636-240-3721. Assumption Parish is located at located at 403 North Main St. in O’Fallon.

Submitted photo

Sports you see with Gary B .

Lindenwood captures initial victory in new division

Linden wood Univer sity’s football team earned its first win as a NCAA Di

vision I program over Houston Baptist on Saturday in Houston, Texas. The Li ons blocked a punt with 28 seconds left, and recovered the ball in the end zone for the game-winning touchdown in the 2120 win.

The Lindenwood defense set the tone on the first drive of the season, forcing a three-and-out. The Lions worked me thodically on offense by gaining yards on the ground and in the air. The drive stalled out, but the Lions got on the board first with a 41-yard field goal by Logan Seibert. The defense again forced a fourth down, but a big play by the Huskies made it a 7-3 score. Lindenwood continued to find success on offense, which led to an other field goal by Seibert, this one from 44 yards near the end of the first quarter.

Houston Baptist built its lead back up to four points after hitting a field goal, and extended the lead to 17-6 with an other touchdown on fourth down. The Huskies held the 11-point lead going into the half. The second half started slow, but Lindenwood stayed the course on a drive late in the third frame. After a big fumble recovery by Sterlin Williams, the Lions took hold of the momentum. Linden wood drove down the field, and Andrew Martin scored the first touchdown of the game for the Lions at the 5:11 mark to cut the deficit to 17-12.

The Huskies made it an eight-point game once again, but Seibert was locked in as his 44-yard field goal early in the fourth quarter kept the Lions in the hunt in a 20-15 ballgame. At the 5:10 mark, Lindenwood punted the ball away to flip the field, as it put the weight of the game on the defense. The Huskies killed more than four minutes of game clock, but the Lions forced the Huskies to punt the ball with 28 seconds left. On the punt, Jalen Bethany found a lane to block the kick to

send the ball into the end zone which was recovered by Martin for the game-win ning touchdown. The Lions earned their first win as a NCAA Division I program, and their first win over a Division I team since 2011. Saturday’s win is the first sea son-opening victory for the Lions under head coach Jed Stugart and his staff.

“Although we made mistakes in the first half, you could just tell in the second half that our guys kept believing,” said Stugart. “We always talk about special teams winning games, and we knew if we were in a position in the fourth quarter that we were going to win the game. The special teams unit, the block party, made a big play to win the game. We won a little bit ugly, but those guys just kept be lieving in each other and we won with heart.”

GAME LEADERS

• Logan Seibert (3-for-3 FG from 44, 44, 41)

• Robert Giaimo (20 rushes, 108 yards)

• Tyrone Griffin (9 tackles, 1.0 sacks, 1.0 TFL, 2 PBU)

• Andrew Martin (9 rushes, 49 yards, 1 rush TD, 1 FR, 1 special teams TD)

Comin up next Lindenwood will host Keiser University on Saturday at 6 p.m. at Hunter Stadium in St. Charles.

~~~Keep up the great momentum

Gary Baute, a St. Lou is native, may be edu cated in business but he lives and breathes sports. As a fan or an athlete, Gary is all sports all the time. He hosted a radio sports program on KFNS, emceed the River City Rascals’ inaugural season, and co-hosted SportsRadioSTL. com, and is currently hosting a Health show on 97.1 FM, ‘Prime Time Health’ www.PrimeTimeSTL.com It broadcasts Saturday nights at 8 and Sunday morn ings at 9.

What's Happening EVENTS

Oct. 15: Fall festival fund raiser

A fall festival fundraiser to help support the Meals On Wheels program takes place at the O’Fallon Senior Center at 106 N. Main Street in O’Fallon behind city hall from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Baked, craft and resale items will be for sale, cash only. Venders are welcome, limited table space is available for $25. For more information call 636272-4180.

Oct. 21: Dinner/dance fundraiser

A fall festival of dinner/dance and a silent auction will take place from 6:30 to 10:30 p.m. at the Christy Banquet Center at 9000 Veterans Memorial Parkway in O’Fallon, to ben efit Crossroads Clinic. The clinic provides medical care to qualified individuals between

the ages of 18 and 64 in St. Charles, Warren, Lincoln, and Montgomery Counties who do not have Medicare/Medicaid or any insurance. Every visit is completely free. The dinner/ auction will be held tickets at $60 per person. To purchase tickets please contact Leslie Held at 636-399-6636.

Oct. 29: Trivia night

The Collector Car Trivia Night, hosted by the Archway Olds mobile Club, will be held at the American Legion 312 at 2500 Raymond Drive in St. Charles. Trivia begins at 7 p.m. and ends at 11 p.m. Price is $160 per ta ble of eight or $20 per person. The event benefits the St. Louis

Honor Flight Program, and the Open Door Animal Sanctuary. For more information or to reserve your table, please call 314-825-2980, or email olsonr sa@gmail.com. Make checks payable to the Archway Olds Club, 350 Ashfari Drive, Flo rissant, MO 63034.

Recipe: Add savory spice to game day celebrations

Powering up for a successful game day starts with a pregame spread, and no tailgate or homegate is complete without a spicy dip that brings the heat.

This Game Day Buffalo Chicken Dip is a perfect solution for firing up your crowd as it requires little preparation so you save precious time before kick off. Whether you bake shortly before the game begins or make it ahead of time for a parking lot party, simply keep it warm and serve with chips or veggie sticks for a quick, shareable ap petizer.

Ingredients:

2 cups shredded chicken

8 ounces cream cheese

1/2 cup sour cream

1 1/2 cups sharp

cheddar cheese, plus additional for topping, divided

1/2 teaspoon onion powder

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1 heavy pinach dried dill

1/2 cup hot sauce

2 green onions, chopped blue cheese crumbles chips

vegetable sticks

Game Day Buffalo Chicken Dip

Directions:

Heat oven to 400 F.

In bowl, mix shredded chicken, cream cheese, sour cream, 1 1/2 cups shredded cheese, onion powder, garlic powder and dried dill until combined. Add hot sauce; mix until combined.

Transfer mixture from bowl to oven-safe

dish. Top with additional shredded cheese, to taste.

Bake until cheese is melted, approximately 15 minutes.

Top with blue cheese crumbles and chopped green onion.

Serve warm with chips and vegetable sticks.

‘Avatar: The Way of Water’ will arrive 13 years after original film

Patience,

Movie:

By Steve Bryan

Born and raised in South St. Louis, Steve Bryan is now based in Anaheim, California, and has been allowed access to movie and television sets to see actors and directors at work. Though his writing has taken him far from St. Louis, Steve is, at heart, still the same wide-eyed kid who spent countless hours watching classic movies at neighborhood theaters.

as the old saying goes, is a vir tue, but director James Cameron made fans of “Avatar” wait for 13 years to see “Way of the Water,” the sequel to his wildly popular film about Pandora, a moon in the Alpha Centauri star system. After his brother was killed by a thief, Jake Sully (Sam Worthington), a dis abled Marine, agreed to take his sibling’s place on Pandora and become part of the Avatar project that would allow him to walk again. As the pilot of an Ava tar, Jake learned the ways of the indigenous Na’vi and fell in love with Neytiri (Zoe Sal dana), the daughter of the clan leaders.

Cameron kept fans waiting a long time, but not as long as fans of Disney’s “Bambi.”

The original 1942 animated film followed Bambi, a newborn deer exploring his sur roundings. Along the way, he made friends with a gray rabbit named Thumper and a skunk named Flower. In 2006, “Bambi II,” the sequel, arrived on home video, but some countries released the film in theaters. “Picard” star Patrick Stewart lent his voice to the Great Prince who has been tasked to care for Bambi after his mother was killed.

In 2004, years before Robert Downey, Jr. first said “I am Iron Man,” Pixar released “The Incredibles,” an animated adventure about the Parr family, who were superheroes in hiding due to government regulations. After years working in an office, Bob Parr (Craig T. Nelson) wanted to go back to fight ing crime and would do anything for some action. In “Incredibles 2,” Helen Parr (Holly Hunter), Bob’s wife, was asked to perform super deeds to regain the public’s trust and help other superheroes come out of hiding.

1983’s “Star Wars: Return of the Jedi” closed out George Lucas’ original outer space trilogy, which had been labeled “Ep isodes 4, 5 and 6.” Sixteen years later, Lucas explored the backstory of Darth Vader in

“The Phantom Menace,” which showed a very young Anakin Skywalk er (Jake Lloyd). “Attack of the Clones” arrived in 2002 with Hayden Christensen playing an older version of Anakin. In 2005’s “Revenge of the Sith,” Anakin, af ter a brutal battle with Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), was rescued and placed in the black armor that would save his life.

No one can keep a good adventurer/ar chaeologist down for long, especially one with a fedora and bullwhip. 1989’s “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” was an amaz ing adventure that featured Sean Connery as Henry Walton Jones, Sr., father to Hen ry Jones, Jr. (Harrison Ford). Jones, Jr. pre ferred the name “Indiana” even though that was the name of the family dog. Jones Sr. had been searching for the legendary Holy Grail and was now very close to finding it. Sequels can be planned or pop up as a sur prise for fans after years of waiting. The lat est Indiana Jones film, for instance, should arrive in theaters in 2023, 15 years after Indy’s last adventure. With Harrison Ford reprising his classic role, that should be one heck of an adventure.

20th Century Studios

Photo

TO

PET CEMETERY

It’s never too early to plan ahead, especially when you are expecting guests in your home. Your family and friends know and might love your style, but it can be important to spice things up now and again to impress your visi tors. Factors such as lights, music and food can affect your guests experience in your home.

To remain stylish and keep your party going, consider these tips for fun and festive home entertaining.

Back to basics: Staying organized is key while en tertaining guests in your home. Try to plan out every detail before the big event, which can allow things to go more smoothly on the big day. As you think out your plan ahead of time, making lists can be a helpful way to stay organized and ensure you get everything done. List out your guests, what needs to be picked up from the store and possible decorations you might need to buy or craft yourself. The possibilities can seem endless, but it’s important to have a plan in place before you start putting things together.

Think about theme: There are numerous ways your style can be shown while entertaining. One way is to pick a theme or theme-related food dishes. One way to show your theme is through decorations. Placing them throughout your home can give the party some life and

Moore

I’m not one for food-making. The kitchen isn’t my favorite place to be. Its tight little quarters, which confine me to hard labor and isolation from society, give off a death row vibe.

Oh sure, I have one favorite thing that typically finds me in the kitchen; it’s my specialty called, DBD. Three minutes in the microwave and bada-bing, bada-bang my Doggie Bag Deluxe is ready to eat.

But I’ll be a sport and try out new recipes. I usually find them in the mailbox. Yup, that’s where the restau rant coupons are; you know the fancy places with the drive-in windows.

Around dinnertime, I checked my coupon pile. Gasp, they had all expired. The mailman wouldn’t deliver a fresh batch until tomorrow afternoon. That was much too late. By then my husband would have such hun ger pangs he’d run off with the fry cook at McBurger Queen’s. That woman could whip up a mean batch of fried potatoes.

So, I quickly pulled out my phone and urgently yelled into the voice control, “Newest recipe trending online.”

One popped up; coincidentally a recipe that was on all the TV shows as well.

I dashed to the store and soon had the ingredients and my dinner bubbling away on the stove.

My husband was quite impressed with my culinary skills. I dished up my creation and placed it before him.

He sliced off a hunk and began to chew then turned greenish-gray and began to gag and cough.

I raced to his side to begin the Heimlich, but was quickly pushed away.

help guests get into the overall theme of the party.

Light up the party: Transforming your home can be made simpler by changing the lighting. It’s typical for lights to be dimmed for parties to set a more relaxed mood. Other ideas include us ing candles, lamps or even hanging lanterns if you are entertaining out side. Make sure it’s bright enough so everyone can see, but dimmed enough to set the mood for the evening’s events.

Set the mood with music: Pick music that matches your theme and inspires that same feel throughout the house. If you’re going for a fun, energetic atmosphere, try something with a quick tempo, such as pop. If you’re wanting to relax, go for subtler, soothing tones. Try making your playlist before you entertain and lis ten to it a few times through, that way you can know what to expect and how guests will react to your music selections.

Enjoy it: Through all the anxiety and stress of enter tainment planning, make sure you take time to enjoy yourself during the time guests are in your home. Some guests will notice if you’re not having a good time. Smile and remember to be present in the moment.

Find more entertainment tips at eLivingToday.com.

By Cindy Moore

“Water,” he gasped pointing to his throat.

He downed an entire glass before he could speak. “What the heck have you laced this meat with?! Are you trying to get a gig on one of those murder shows?”

“Hmph,” I said insulted. “This recipe is trending on line everywhere and it’s even on every TV news show. I guess you just have no taste.”

“That’s because my taste buds have been burned off. What are the ingredients?”

“Simple, Nyquil and chicken.”

“What?! Are you kidding? That’s not a recipe. It’s a warning about dumb kids experimenting with stupid taste challenges!”

“Hmm, maybe I should have listened to the entire news segment. Well at least the next course is safe. It’s pumpkin spice mashed potatoes.”

Thank goodness for fall.

Cindy Moore is the mother of three superlative kids, servant of two self-indulgent felines and wife to one nifty husband. Her ficticious occupation? Archeological Humor ist: someone who unearths ab surdity and hilarity in strange and unusual places including public restrooms, the lint filter, and church meetings. Most recent ly, she excavated a find in her neighbor’s bird feeder.

The opinions expressed in this column are Cindy Moore’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.