CNSTC: November 7, 2018

November 7, 2018

Veterans museum takes shape Construction begins on the St. Charles County Veterans Museum located in O’Fallon, with plans to open in April 2019

DAR partners with Missouri Veterans Home to honor veterans. Pg. 5 Reminders from St. Charles County Collector help to prepare for tax season. Pg. 5

By Brett Auten Ralph Barrale’s vision is becoming a reality. Barrale, a World War II Veteran who landed on Utah Beach in Normandy and fought at the Battle of the Bulge with General Patton, was with the first troops to liberate Dachau, the oldest concentration camp in Germany. Barrale has a number of accomplishments on his resume. He successfully lobbied the state to name the Highway 364 Bridge Veterans Memorial Bridge. He later lobbied St. Charles County municipalities to rename the South Service Road to Veterans Memorial Parkway.

But Barrale always pushed and lobbied for something more personal and heartfelt, a St. Charles County Veterans Museum.

Unfortunately, Barrale passed away in October at the age of 94, but last week, interior construction began on the new St. Charles County Veterans Museum, located at 410 E. Elm Street in O’Fallon. The St. Charles County Veterans Museum is a 501C tax exempt, nonprofit organization and they are in search of assistance in all shapes and sizes.

“Right now, we’re out there looking for a little help to make Ralph’s dream a reality” says Jim Higgins, a St. Charles County Veterans Museum Executive Board member, said. “We are visiting home improvement stores, contractors, department stores and other suppliers for building supplies and/or funds.”

The museum’s mission is to inspire, inform and engage the residents of St. Charles County to honor the memories of St. Charles County Veterans who served the United States of America with patriotic valor.

“We hope to open our museum in April

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Photos by Brett Auten (Above) Pictured outside the St. Charles County Veterans Museum, located at 410 E. Elm Street in O’Fallon, is, from left, Jim Higgins, Dorris Keeven-Franke and Art Minor.

(Right) These are some of the items that will be on display at the St. Charles County Veterans Museum.

of 2019,” Renee Essary, an executive board member, said. “Our plans go well beyond the building. Our design for the grounds include: Veterans Family Healing Gardens, The Grove – a shaded picnic area with a dry creek and Seabee Tribute bridge, Heroes Walk, Veterans Memorial Pavers and much more. We’re not only designing a museum to honor St. Charles County Veterans, we’re also creating a park-like setting that people from all around can enjoy.”

Dorris Keeven-Franke is St. Charles County Veterans Museum’s curator. She is formerly the archivist for St. Charles County Historical Society, an administrative assistant at the Washington Historical Society and project director for several Missouri Local Records projects.

“Ralph’s dream inspires us,” Keeven-Franke said. “It’s great to have highways, roads See ’VETERANS ’ page 2

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November 7, 2018 • Community News - St. Charles County • www.mycnews.com

‘VETERANS’ from cover

Photos by Brett Auten These are some of the items that will be on display at the St. Charles County Veterans Museum.

and bridges named in honor of veterans but what he really wanted was to have a museum where the public can walk in and see the stories and experience and understand what they did for us.”

Every veteran has a story and the board members are doing their best to reach out to veterans and their families to preserve those stories. Stories can be shared through a uniform, photos, medals or other military or wartime memorabilia – items that bring those stories to life – stories of a veteran’s life and his service to our country – stories that should be told and passed along to future generations.

“We are really interested in special items that the public can relate more personally. Not just patches, badges, medals and uniforms. We’re off to a good start on that. I’m really hoping individuals will come forward with items that are special to their family.

Things that tell a story about that person.”

For more information, including how to help or to donate, visit www.stcharlescountyveteransmuseum.com or call 636-400-7698.

“Ralph’s hope is that visitors to the museum will leave saying, ‘Wow, what a place,’” Higgins said. “We cannot do this without support from our community. This is a great opportunity to be at the forefront of this important community effort. So far, the response has been tremendous. We’re also looking for sponsors.”

www.mycnews.com • Community News - St. Charles County • November 7, 2018

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St. Charles County Department of Public Health expands Travel Service Program Whether for business, service or vacation, more and more Americans are traveling to new and exotic international destinations. During these trips, travelers can become exposed to infections, diseases and other items that may threaten their well-being.

The St. Charles County Department of Public Health is expanding its Travel Services, which not only will help individuals apply for identification documents, but help them remain healthy before, during and after their journey as well.

“Travel should be memorable, but those memories shouldn’t be about getting sick at the destination or not having the right paperwork,” says Hope Woodson, Director for the Department of Public Health. “Beginning Oct. 18, our expanded services will make travel planning less of a hassle by offering a health consultation about the desired destination, recommended vaccinations and assistance in obtaining identification records through one convenient location.”

The Travel Health Clinic is located at the Department of Public Health, 1650 Boones Lick Road in St. Charles. There, nurses will consult with travelers about their medical history and planned itinerary to determine recommended precautions. In addition to vaccinations and other medications, staff will suggest ways to avoid illness during trips and recommend items to pack for particular destinations. Should the individual need a Missouri birth certificate and/or assistance with a U.S. passport, those applications also can be completed through the health department.

The Travel Health Clinic operates by appointment from 8:30 to 11:30 a.m. and 1 to 4 p.m. on Thursdays. Individuals should bring proof of identity, a current vaccination record, a list of medications currently taken (both prescription and over-the-counter) and a detailed listing of travel plans to the appointment. To make an appointment, please call 636-949-1857.

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St. Peters girl brings home national title Rachel Locke, the 16-yearold daughter of Stacey and Sean Locke of St. Peters, brought home the national title of Teen Miss Princess of America. The Princess of America Pageant was held July 30-Aug. 4 in Branson, Missouri. Girls from all over the country competed for the national crown.

As a national titleholder, Rachel receives the official custom crown, banner, trophy, cash scholarship, travel opportunities, including a trip to Atlantic City for the Miss America Pageant, a Caribbean cruise, as well as many other gifts and prizes during her reign. Winners were treated to a professional photo shoot and escorted to their first appearance in a limousine the night after crowning. Rachel will spend an exciting year traveling to other states, making appearances to represent the Princess of America Organization and promoting her

Submitted photo Rachel Locke of St. Peters brought home the national title of Teen Miss Princess of America.

chosen platform.

Rachel is currently a junior at Fort Zumwalt South High School, where she is active in student council. She also enjoys singing, acting and dancing.

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November 7, 2018 • Community News - St. Charles County • www.mycnews.com

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Indian marker trees topic of DAR November Meeting Local Indian marker trees, also known as bent trees, will be the topic of the Caroline Close Stuart DAR Chapter Nov. 10 meeting. Karen Wright, chapter member, will give a presentation on the local bent trees, in particular one being saved in the Wright City, Missouri area.

Indian marker trees — also called Indian thong trees for the leather thongs used to pull the saplings into place — served as marker signs, usually pointing to water or shelter. Consequently, surviving marker trees often point from now-forgotten wilderness trails to caves and springs.

The meeting will be held at the Triggs Banquet Center at 300 O’Fallon Plaza in O’Fallon.

Members and prospective members of the chapter will gather for the regular chapter meeting followed by lunch and the program. Friends and relatives as well as any other women who

are interested are encouraged to attend.

“Our local heritage includes the Native Americans who populated this part of Missouri several hundred years ago. The trees they used to mark paths are just a reminder of their culture”, said Wright.

Chapter members will also recognize November Native American Month with a show and tell of their own Native American jewelry.

The group’s mission is to promote historic preservation, education and patriotism. Any woman 18 years or older, regardless of race, religion, or ethnic background, who can prove lineal descent from a patriot of the American Revolution is eligible.

Interested women who would like to attend the November meeting must make reservation for the lunch portion of the meeting. For more information

Submitted photo Local Indian marker trees, also known as bent trees, will be the topic of the Caroline Close Stuart DAR Chapter Nov. 10 meeting.

about the DAR or to make reservations contact Judy Blandino at 314-440-4603. You may also find information about the local DAR chapter on the web at http://www.mssdar.org/ccstuart.

www.BYERLY.COM Inspiration Corner: When cake attacks

www.ofallon.mo.us

He walked slowly, balancing the delectable sheet of sugary gladness. It glistened white, like a snow-capped mountain covered with primary-colored frosting balloons. The carefully crafted purple-dyed words emphasized best wishes on the recipient’s day of birth, and while I have no doubt the heart behind its delivery was big, I nevertheless cringed. They set up shop right outside my desk, as if to ensure I must pass it every time I dared leave my workspace. Like some insidiously blatant trap, it beckoned to my senses and I felt nearly powerless beneath its thrall.

There is a special place in a dark and smoky environment I dare not mention for people who cast off their leftover cake on co-workers. Rather than place their corn syrup laden castoff in the rubbish where it belongs, they choose to torture reformed sugar-addicts like myself. Not that they are altogether horrible people – these genetically pre-disposed to never gain weight abnormalities. Sure, they can eat one small piece and satisfy their sweet tooth while gluttons like me need four pieces and are basically just getting warmed up. They simply don’t understand the torturous burden they hoist upon my unsuspecting shoulders each and every time they supply their residual delicacies.

When I chose to forsake sugar until the end of all time, no one disputed my decision. After all, most people understand how toxic it is for the body. Also, when one is an unusually large person (over 300 pounds), acquaintances and co-workers don’t generally try to convince one to eat more.

Therefore I was somewhat of a folk-hero for a time as I slowly dropped the weight by natural means (diet and exercise).

But then a strange phenomenon began to occur.

After I had experienced lasting success, I found myself on the receiving end of serious pressure to indulge. My friends reasoned that I had my sugar addiction under control and could therefore eat what I wanted. Unfortunately, that is not the way any type of addiction works. One hit of cake will bind me to the sugar monkey once again and it takes at least one week of torturous withdrawal to untangle myself. If only I could convince them to research the body’s chemical response to sugar so that they too might think twice before consuming it themselves.

In a strange twist of fate, the woman who once subsisted on every form of sugar imaginable has become the fashionista of sugar resistance. On my worst days I am guilty of shouting, “Guilt! Guilt!

Guilt!” at those who dare enter my territory to consume the cake, mainly because I am working so hard to resist it myself. But on my best days I gently encourage those who feel they have no hope to try again. I bless the day I connected sugar addiction to my overeating conundrum, and if you “dessert” it, maybe you will too. For more inspiration, follow me on my blog: www.destinationdiscipline.com.

Margaret Wolfinbarger is a wife and mother of three peculiar children. She lives in St. Charles and likes to shine light into dark places.

www.mycnews.com • Community News - St. Charles County • November 7, 2018

Around Town

Reminders, information from St. Charles County Collector help to prepare for tax season With tax season right around the corner, the office of the St. Charles County Collector of Revenue is available to help residents plan and prepare.

“We know that the end of the year is a busy time for everyone, so we want to do all we can to make the tax payment process as easy and seamless as possible,” explains Collector of Revenue Michelle McBride.

Following are reminders and information on how tax bills are prepared and distributed: 1. Real estate and personal property tax bills are prepared after all tax rates have been certified by the Missouri State Auditor. Per state statute, this can take until Oct. 31. Tax rates are determined by the respective taxing authorities (school, city, fire districts, etc.) based on the budgetary requirements needed to fund the services provided within their jurisdictions.

2. The Collector of Revenue’s office prepares real estate tax bills first, typically during the first or second week of November. Personal property tax bills are prepared shortly after. Once these bills are complete, both are available for residents at stcharlesmocollector.com to access and pay online.

3. Paper bills are created and mailed after tax bills are posted online. Because real estate and personal property tax bills are merged into one bill for taxpayers, these typically take two weeks to produce.

4. Real estate and personal property tax bills are generally mailed to taxpayers in midto late November. The state statutory deadline to mail bills is Dec. 1.

Per state statute, real estate and personal property tax bills are delinquent if not paid/postmarked by Jan. 1. Information is available at sccmo.org/Collector about ways to pay tax bills, including the Collector of Revenue’s partial and advance payment programs.

Online Payment and e-Alerts “More and more citizens are enjoying the convenience of paying their tax bills online,” explains McBride. “Another benefit of our online payment system is the ability to sign up for e-Alert notifications when bills are posted.”

Taxpayers who received bills for 2017 and prior can register to receive these free text and email alerts: 1. Visit stcharlesmocollector.com to pull up the existing account(s). For those who do not know their Property Identifications Number (PIN), the address of the property can be entered to obtain the PIN. 2. Select “View” for one of the tax bills associated with the account. When it displays, click on the e-Alert button.

3. Enter email address and/or cell phone number to receive e-Alerts.

Note: Setting up an e-Alert for one email address and/or cell phone number does not prevent additional e-Alerts from being set up for that PIN. Example: If co-owners of a property or multiple members of an LLC want to be notified, they can each sign up for an e-Alert and it won’t prevent the other parties from receiving a notice.

For questions or more information about tax bills, please contact the Collector of Revenue’s office at collector@sccmo.org or 636-949-7470.

DAR partners with Missouri Veterans Home to honor veterans In celebration of Veterans Day, Nov.11, the Caroline Close Stuart Chapter National Society of the Daughters of the American Revolution (NSDAR) put together a special display for the Missouri Veterans Home in North County.

Military themed books donated to the Veterans Home were used along with images of a variety of past wars. Chapter members brought cookies and also held a bingo for the residents the day the display was put up. A fun time was had by all.

Chapter members serve the Veterans Home as a part of their DAR Service for Veterans Committee. The committee provides a tangible way for DAR members to say “thank you” by acknowledging and recognizing veterans’ service, sacrifice, and commitment to the preservation of our nation’s freedom.

“Our members are very dedicated to supporting our veterans in any way we can,” says Chapter Regent, Marilyn Hartnett. “Along with sponsoring bingo games, the chapter members also sew shrouds for the home so the veteran

Submitted photo DAR members Jean Lorenz, Marcy Hosty, Mary Jo Anderson and Nancy Milliken put together a special display for the Missouri Veterans Home in North County.

can leave with dignity when they pass. This part of our mission statement shows what talented women can do for worthy members of our community”.

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School

November 7, 2018 • Community News - St. Charles County • www.mycnews.com

Moody’s Investors Service maintains top rating for the Wentzville School District Moody’s Investors Service has released its Annual Issuer Comment Report for the Wentzville School District. In the report, Moody’s maintains an Aa2 rating on the district’s outstanding general obligation debt, one of the highest ratings for any school district in Missouri.

“The Aa2 rating released by Moody’s Investors Service is a reflection of the district’s sound fiscal position,” said Pam Frazier, District Chief Financial Officer. “It is also evidence of our staff ’s commitment to fiscal responsibility and to remain good stewards of taxpayer dollars.”

According to the report, the favorable rating reflects the district’s “robust financial position, a substantial tax base and a strong wealth and income profile.” The WSD has been the fastest growing school district in Missouri since 2001, averag-

Photo courtesy Wentzville School District Moody’s Investors Service maintains an Aa2 rating on the Wentzville School District’s outstanding general obligation debt, one of the highest ratings for any school district in Missouri.

ing over 600 new students every year. As a result of the record growth, the WSD has built 11 new schools since 2001.

The report also cites the district’s fiscal management and governance as a reason for the strong rating. The district’s net cash balance as a percent of

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revenues sits at 39.38 percent which is “far stronger than other school district’s nationwide,” according to the report. Continued population growth, and a median family income that is a healthy 126.8 percent of the national level, are also cited as reasons for the WSD’s high rating.

WSD students honored with Glory of Missouri Awards

Photo courtesy Wentzville School District Twenty-one WSD students have been named recipients of the 2018 Glory of Missouri Award by State Representatives Bryan Spencer, Bart Korman and Justin Hill.

Twenty-one WSD students have been named recipients of the 2018 Glory of Missouri Award by State Representatives Bryan Spencer, Bart Korman and Justin Hill. The Glory of Missouri Awards were created to recognize students who display virtuous qualities both as students and as citizens. Each student honored represents one of the virtues of good government engraved on the walls of the House Chamber. The virtues include knowledge, liberty, equality, law, justice, fraternity, education, progress, honor, truth, virtue, temperance, enterprise and charity.

“Our area is blessed to have outstanding young people who are exceptional students, as well as individuals of the highest character. These are young people who are on track to accomplish great things in life,” said Spencer, R-Wentzville. “The Glory of Missouri Awards exist to shine a spotlight on our very best students and citizens, and this year’s winners are without question some of the most accomplished young people we have recognized,” added Hill, R-Lake St. Louis.

• Luke Price, Holt High School, and Austin Fields, Wentzville Middle School (Charity) • Katherine Matney and Hailey Vohsen, Holt High School (Education) • Baylee Ramey, Holt High School (Enterprise) • Steven Marion, Holt High School, and Kyle Rehme, Timberland High School (Equality) • Allen Baker, Holt High School, and Allison McDonald, Timberland High School (Fraternity) • Austin Medlock, Holt High School, and Alexis Vohsen, Wentzville Middle School (Honor) • Annalise Le, Holt High School (Justice) • Macy Steber, Holt High School (Knowledge) • Samuel Rowan, Holt High School (Law) • Maxwell Mades, Holt High School, and Olivia O’Rando, Wentzville Middle School (Liberty) • Carson Byrnes, Holt High School, and Eric Reininger, Timberland High School (Progress) • Mya Robinson, Holt High School, (Temperance) • Jessica Ballard, Holt High School (Truth) • Hunter Richardson, Holt High School (Virtue) Nominations for each of the categories were made by teachers, community leaders, and parents. Spencer, Korman and Hill are now accepting nominations for the 2019 Glory of Missouri Awards. Individuals interested in nominating an outstanding student must provide a name, address, category, and in 50 words or less a description of how the student’s characteristic represents a specific category. Nominations should be mailed to their representative at Missouri State Capitol, 201 West Capitol Avenue, Jefferson City, Missouri, 65101 or by fax at 573-522-0463. For additional information, please call 573-751-1460.

www.mycnews.com • Community News - St. Charles County • November 7, 2018

AT&T donates $10,000 to DECA/CAPS program While presenting a check for $10,000 to the Duree Center for Entrepreneurship at Lindenwood University, AT&T-Missouri President, Craig Unruh, said, “AT&T is proud to support the DECA/CAPS Consultancy through our Aspire Foundation program. AT&T Aspire focuses on assisting high school students to successfully complete their studies and advance to college or job training programs. It is impressive to see the five school districts in St. Charles County and Lindenwood University come together on a program inspiring entrepreneurship. This program of pairing college students and high school students is very unique. Having real experiences with real businesses creates real success. On behalf of ev-

Community Spotlight: Laser Lipo and Vein Center

Submitted photo

eryone at AT&T, we are happy we can partner with you in this endeavor.”

Pictured are leaders from AT&T, Lindenwood Univer-

sity, the five St. Charles County school districts, St. Charles County CAPS Board members and students.

Show Me Granite celebrates new location with ribbon cutting Owner Terry Gerard celebrated the grand opening of Show Me Granite with a ribbon cutting on Oct 2.

Joining Gerard was city of St. Peters Mayor Len Pagano and Alderwoman Terri Violet, Molly Dempsey with St. Charles County Government, co-workers, employees and family. Also on hand were board members and ambassadors with the Greater St. Charles County Chamber of Commerce.

Show-Me Granite is a full service stone contractor located in St. Peters. From a marble vanity in a bathroom remodel, to a custom granite kitchen in a new construction home, from

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“Venous insufficiency, the underlying cause of varicose veins, can lead to serious health issues. Dr. Wright also treats cosmetic vein concerns such as unsightly spider veins on the face, leg and other parts of the body.

Dr. Wright also performs liposuction, most commonly on the tummy area, flanks, hips and thighs. He uses the tumescent liposuction technique, which emphasizes patient safety and quick recovery time.

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a living room fireplace in a historical property to an entire high-tech office, their licensed contractor and expert installers are dedicated to working with you to implement a solution

that meets your needs.

For more information on Show Me Granite, please contact Terry Gerard at 636-5270999 or by email at Salesteam@ showmegranite.com.

Housing market remains strong in St. Charles County The St. Charles County housing market remained strong in the first nine months of 2018.

There were 5,640 homes sold during the first nine months of the year in the county, which is an increase of .18 percent. This accounted for just under $1.4 billion in sales volume or an increase of just under four percent over the first nine months of 2017.

“The numbers show that it is a great time to sell your home in St. Charles County,” commented Rick Stokes, 2018 President of the St. Charles REALTORS. Through the end of September, the

median home in St. Charles County sold for a record setting $224,000, which is up 4.19 percent from a year ago. In more good news for sellers, the median home only took nine days to sell during that same period.

“Home buyers realize that St. Charles County offers a wide variety of homes at affordable prices, safe neighborhoods, award winning schools and great employment opportunities,” commented Stokes. “For these reasons and many more, we anticipate buyers continuing to strive to call St. Charles County home,” concluded Stokes.

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What’s Happening

November 7, 2018 • Community News - St. Charles County • www.mycnews.com

Send your event to editor@mycnews.com and we'll print it!

EVENTS The Spirit of St. Louis Doll Club invites you to their 41st Annual Doll and Bear Show at St. Charles Community College at 4601 Mid Rivers Mall Dr. in Cottleville from 9 a.m. – 3 p.m. Vendors are needed. Please contact Teri at 314423-2635 or cell 314-445-7845.

a.m. until 6:30 p.m. at Holy Cross Lutheran Church at 8945 Veterans Memorial Parkway in O’Fallon. Members of the O’Fallon Kiwanis Club are raising money to support children in the local community. For the all-you-can-eat event, cost for adults is $8, for veterans and seniors is $7 and children under 12 years is $6. Call Don at 314-630-4738 for more information.

Nov. 11: Comedian performance

Nov. 14: Tree lighting ceremony

Nov.11: Doll show

Branson’s own Joey I.L.O. comedian to perform at Sunrise Church in O’Fallon for one night only at 6:30 p.m. Comedian Joey I.L.O.’s clean comedy connects with a broad array of audiences performing at churches, comedy clubs, and universities all around the U.S. and Canada. Free limited tickets are available online at sunrisefamily.org and will be available to pick up at the door on the night of the performance. A love donation will also be taken at the door.

Nov. 12: Veterans Day ceremony

Honor our nation’s heroes at the city of St. Peters’ annual Veterans Day Ceremony. Hosted by the St. Peters Veterans Memorial Commission, the ceremony will begin at approximately 10 a.m. at the Veterans Memorial adjacent to St. Peters City Hall. There will be a helicopter landing prior to the ceremony at 9:30 a.m. Refreshments will be served inside city hall after the ceremony. This event is free and open to the public. The featured guest speaker will be retired Lieutenant Colonel Gary Turner, Army Reserves. A former St. Peters Mayor (1978-1992) and current Lake St. Louis alderman, Turner served more than 28 years in the Army Reserves. In case of inclement weather, the ceremony will be moved inside to the Cultural Arts Centre at St. Peters City Hall. The Veterans Memorial is located at One St. Peters Centre Blvd. in St. Peters. For more information on the Veterans Day Ceremony, go online to www.stpetersmo.net.

Nov. 14: Pancake and Sausage Day

The Kiwanis Club of O’Fallon is holding a Pancake and Sausage Day from 7

Steeped in fun, tradition and family-friendly activities, O’Fallon’s free Tree Lighting Ceremony is set for 6 – 8 p.m. in O’Fallon’s Municipal Centre (City Hall) at 100 North Main Street in O’Fallon. The magic starts when the doors open at 6 p.m. with music by the Winfield Chamber Singers. At 6:15 p.m. Mayor Bill Hennessy will welcome guests in the rotunda and invite everyone to join him in officially launching the holiday season in by counting down to the lighting of the Great Tree. If the countdown is successful, Santa will appear at city hall and be available for visits and photos from 6:30 – 8 p.m.

(Parents and grandparents, don’t forget your cameras!) The evening’s activities include shopping at vendor’s booths for holiday gifts and decorations, free rides on the City Train outside city hall (weather permitting), games, holiday crafts, music by the Forest Park Elementary School Recorder Band and a performance by O’Fallon’s Civic Dance troupe. And in the spirit of the season, everyone is encouraged to bring their choice of items for donation to those in need: New winter hats, gloves, mittens, scarves and socks of all sizes for decorating the “Giving Tree” in the lobby.

The items will be donated to the Salvation Army. Non-perishable canned or boxed food and personal care items, which will be distributed to local food pantries through O’Fallon’s Cornucopia of Care food drive. For more information about the Tree Lighting Ceremony visit www.ofallon.mo.us/tree-lighting-ceremony.

Nov. 14-18: Theater performance

St. Charles Community College’s Cen-

ter Stage Theatre will present “Don’t Talk to the Actors” in the Donald D. Shook Fine Arts Building theater on the SCC campus. This show is appropriate for high school students and above. The show will be performed at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 14-17; 10 a.m. Nov. 15 and 2 p.m. Nov. 18. Tickets are free to SCC students with ID, $8 for general admission, $6 for seniors, veterans and students. The campus is located at 4601 Mid Rivers Mall Drive in Cottleville.

For more information, contact Jean Deimund at jdeimund@stchas.edu or 636-922-8050. To purchase tickets, visit stchastickets.com.

Nov. 16: Trivia night

The Child Center, Inc. will host its annual Superheroes for Kids Trivia Night at St. Peter Parish Center located at 301 First Capitol Dr. in St. Charles. Doors open at 6 p.m. and trivia starts at 7 p.m.

For only $200 per table or $25 per person, each guest can look forward to 10 rounds of trivia, beer, and soda; outside food and beverages are also allowed.

The evening will be packed with games, an auction, raffles, and prizes for the top teams. For more information or to register please visit www.thechildcenter/trivia or contact Lisa Zweifel at 636332-0899 or lzweifel@cacnemo.org to reserve your team.

Nov. 16: Holiday bazaar

Immanuel Lutheran Church Wentzville Women in Mission invite you to attend their Holiday Bazaar from 7:30 a.m. to 2 p.m., featuring homemade baked goods and holiday crafts. A hand-quilted quilt will be raffled along with a oneof-a-kind stained glass wall hanging.

A lunch will be served from 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. The church is located at 632 E. Hwy. N in Wentzville. Call 636-3274416 for more information

Nov. 16: Tree lighting ceremony

Get into the holiday spirit with beautiful holiday lights, musical performances by local groups, photos with Santa Claus and the community’s lighting of the tree – all for free at the city of St. Peters’ 29th annual Tree Lighting Ceremony. This year’s event begins at 6:30 p.m. at St. Peters City Hall located at One St. Peters Centre Blvd. in St. Peters.

Don’t miss holiday-themed musical performances starting with Joshua Barclay on the piano, followed by the kids of The Childbloom Guitar Program of St. Charles County, students from the Fort Zumwalt East High School Orchestra, singers from The St. Peters Choral Society, and a unique a cappella choir, Lindenwood University’s Voices Only. The countdown to the lighting of the tree happens right outside City Hall under the stars following the last musical performance. Following the ceremony, kids and families can visit and get photos with Santa Claus himself, so don’t forget to bring your wish lists.

Abra-Kid-Abra also returns this year, making one-of-a-kind holiday balloons kids can take home for free. Tasty treats will also be provided. For more information on the Tree Lighting Ceremony, go online to www.stpetersmo.net.

Nov. 17: Quilt social

St. Robert Bellarmine Ladies Council

is hosting a quilt social at 1424 South First Capitol Dr. in St. Charles (at intersection of S. Hwy. 94 & Sherman Dr.).

Doors open at 10:30 a.m. with lunch available for purchase. Bingo begins at 12 p.m. with 24 regular bingo games, quilt given away every fourth game, plus four special “Dizzy Games” wins cash. For additional information contact Martha at 636-441-4609.

Nov. 17: Disc golf tournament

Compete for cash prizes, trophies and a Thanksgiving turkey at the 15th annual Disc Golf Blind Turkey Toss Tournament at Indian Camp Creek Park near Wentzville. Just in time for Thanksgiving, this nighttime event is fun for disc golf enthusiasts and first-time disc golfers alike and is hosted by the St. Charles County Parks and Recreation Department and the St. Charles County Disc Golf Club. Using baskets lined with glow sticks to mark the course, a 5 p.m. shotgun start will kick-off the 18hole contest. Trophies will be awarded to first, second, and third-place finishers and the competitor closest to the pin of one of the glowing baskets wins a Thanksgiving turkey. The tournament is for individual play, and cost is $10.

The event is open to the first 72 registered contestants. Registration begins at 4 p.m. on the day of the event. A limited number of LED disc lights will be available for competitors to purchase at the registration table. For more information, call the Parks Department at 636 -949-7535. Indian Camp Creek Park is located 2679 Dietrich Road off Highway 61 near Wentzville.

November 17-18: Holiday market

Nestled between St. Charles and historic Brussels Illinois, enjoy a short Golden Eagle Ferry ride to shop at the Third Annual Holiday Market in Illinois. This event is Nov. 17 and Nov. 18 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Featured are gifts, crafts, home-baked goods and decor located on East Main Street in the Brussels Village Hall and Village Consignments, the store with the yellow door. For more information call 618-883-2032.

Nov. 18: Jingle Bell Run

The 2018 Jingle Bell Run for arthritis is bringing holiday cheer to an all new, U.S. Track & Field certified course in St. Charles. This annual, holiday-themed 5K run and one-mile walk encourages participants to dress in festive costumes and get moving to raise awareness and funds to cure America’s number one cause of disability. All activities, including kids zone, pancakes, hot chocolate, vendor booths, and medal ceremony will be inside the Olympia Athletics & Events Centre this year, with the course running through Downtown St. Charles and Katy Trail. Register today at www.jbr.org/stlouis or contact Emily Fisher at 314-356-2329.

Nov. 30: Trivia night

St. Charles Community College will host an Athletics Trivia Night at 7 p.m. and all trivia will be sports themed.

Trivia will be held in the College Center gym on SCC’s campus, located at 4601 Mid Rivers Mall Drive in Cottleville.

Doors open at 6 p.m. Parking for guests is free and available in both the

Yellow and Orange Parking Lots. For a campus map, visit stchas.edu/maps.

Tickets cost $25 per person or $200 per table of eight. Beer, soda and water are included, and teams are welcome to bring snacks. All proceeds will go to the SCC Athletic Department to increase scholarships and support SCC’s athletic teams with their travel, equipment and other needs to help them be successful.

For more information and to register, visit www.stchas.edu/athleticstrivia, or contact Tim Brix at 636-922-8211 or tbrix@stchas.edu.

Dec. 2: Christmas house tour

The residents of New Town at St. Charles are inviting you to visit their homes at the ninth annual New Town at St. Charles Residents’ Christmas House Tour. Mark your calendars to attend from 1 - 5 p.m.. The tour will begin at the Town Hall at 3300 Rue Royale, where you will have an opportunity to register for a door prize as well as obtain a map directing you to the houses on tour. Tickets are $10 and may be purchased at Marsala’s Market in New town beginning on Nov. 14 or at the Town Hall the day of the tour. Proceeds benefit St. Charles City/County charities.

Dec. 11: Holiday concert

Start a great tradition by joining the St. Charles Municipal Band and Big Band for their seventh annual “Holiday Concert at Scheidegger” at The Lindenwood Theater of the J. Scheidegger Center for the Arts, 2300 West Clay St, St. Charles, readily accessible from I-70. There is free parking and easy handicapped access. Meet the new Concert Band Director, and Earl Kreder returns to lead the Big Band. St. Nicholas will make a special appearance at this free family friendly event. See www.stcharlesband. com and Facebook for more information, or call 314-544-6166 or 314-8785296.

ONGOING EVENTS Mondays: Take off Pounds Sensibly

Take off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS) meets every Monday from 9:30 - 10:30 a.m.

Weigh-ins begin at 8:30 a.m. We meet at Memorial Hall in Blanchette Park at 1900 Randolph St. in St. Charles. For more information contact Joyce at 636206-5306.

Mondays: Take off Pounds Sensibly

TOPS meet every Monday at Holy Cross Lutheran Church at 8945 Veterans Memorial Hwy in O’Fallon. Meetings at 9:30 a.m. with weigh in beginning at 8:30 a.m. For more information please call Linda Wilcox at 636-4479056.

Mondays: Parent support group

Because I Love You, (BILY), Gateway parent support group meets every Monday at 7:30 p.m. at First United Methodist Church at 801 First Capitol Dr. in St. Charles. For information and directions, please contact the helpline at 314-993-7550 or email gateway_par-

www.mycnews.com • Community News - St. Charles County • November 7, 2018 ent_help@yahoo.com. BILY is a program of self-help for parents of troubled children (all ages). We are not professionals, but parents helping each other.

The meetings are free to attend.

Mondays: Alcoholics Anonymous

If you want to drink, that’s your business. If you want to stop, we can help.

Call Alcoholics Anonymous at 636970-0013.

Mondays: practice

Choral Arts Singers

Choral Arts Singers resume practice on Mondays, at 7 p.m. at Transfiguration Episcopal Church, 1860 Lake St. Louis Blvd. in Lake St. Louis. New singers are welcome. Auditions are not required.

See www.concertarts.org.

Mondays: St.Charles County Council of the Blind meetings

Business meetings are held on the first Monday of each month (second Monday in September due to Labor Day) unless otherwise specified. No meetings are held in June, July, or December.

Meetings are held in the Community Council Building (Second floor of the Spencer Branch Library) from 6:30 8:30 p.m. For more information contact Beverly Kaskadden (Treasurer) at 636561-6947.

Mondays: St. Peters Rotary Club

Noon at St. Peters City Hall, One St. Peters Centre Blvd. www.stpetersrotary. org.

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays: Fitness First Exercise Class

9:30-10:30 a.m., American Legion Hall, 504 Luetkenhaus Blvd., Wentzville.

314-369-6521.

Mondays and Thursdays: Bridge

St. Peters Senior Center plays bridge from 9 a.m. to noon on Monday and Thursdays, and would love to have any player, regardless of skill level, to join in.

Call Mary Ann at 636-397-0866 if you are interested in playing on Monday or Thursday morning.

Mondays: American Legion Post 388 Meets

Meets the fourth Monday of the month at 6:30 p.m. at American Legion Hall, 607 Westridge Dr., O’Fallon, 636-2190553.

Mondays: Measurement Mondays:

10 a.m. - 12 noon at the ST. Charles Health Deparment in the Upper Level Conference room. Measurement Mondays is a family-friendly breastfeeding support group. We are open to all moms and moms-to-be who are breastfeeding or interested in breastfeeding. The group is supported by the St Charles County WIC program so there will be information about the program available at each meeting. Each meeting will be a little different than the last. There will be baby weigh-ins, introductions, games, interactive education, group conversation, and even snacks.

Mondays and Wednesdays: Tai Chi for arthritis class

Every Monday and Wednesday a Tai Chi for arthritis class, sponsored by the city of St. Charles Parks and Recreation, takes place from 9:15 - 10 a.m. at Webster Park across from the Family Arena.

This is a class that is taught nationally to manage arthritis and to prevent falls.

For more information call 636-9493372.

Tuesdays: Cribbage Club

Meets every Tuesday, 12:30 – 3:30 p.m. at The Falls Golf Course Clubhouse.

Relaxed, friendly play and is open to all. Call 636-561-2970 for more information.

Tuesdays: Seniors group

Please join us on the third Tuesday of each month from 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. for a gathering for senior adults. There will be lunch (no charge), cards and bingo (no charge), community program referrals, occasional health and wellness presentations and clergy available upon rewww.treesbywoody.net quest. The event takes place at Church of the Transfiguration at1860 Lake St. Louis Blvd. in Lake Saint Louis. For more information call 636-561-8951.

Tuesdays: Gateway Spotlight Chorus Rehearsal

Gateway Spotlight is a women’s a capella chorus that meets at First United Methodist Church at 801 First Capitol Dr. in St. Charles every Tuesday evening beginning at 7 p.m. Call 636-2566823 for more details.

Tuesdays: Optimist Club meeting

The St. Charles Optimist Club meets each Tuesday at noon at Pio’s Restaurant. For more information contact Jack Ross at 314-287-0569 or jack-ross@att. net.

Tuesdays: Cribbage

Looking for an evening out? Come and play cribbage Tuesdays at 6 p.m. at Rookies at 15358 Veterans Memorial Pkwy in Wentzville. Win prizes and awards with semiannual tournaments.

ACC sanctioned. For more information contact Dee at 636-233-8032.

Tuesdays: Cottleville Spring Kiwanis Club

Weldon

Cottleville Weldon Spring Kiwanis Club meets the first Tuesday of the month at 6:00 p.m. and the third Tuesday of the month at 11 a.m. Both meetings are at Rack House Kitchen Wine Whiskey.

New club looking for new members who want to better our community.

Contact Christy at 314-583-0538.

Tuesdays: Kiwanis Club of St. Charles

12:05 p.m. at Bogey Hills Country Club in St. Charles. Kiwanis is a global organization of volunteers dedicated to improving the world one child and one community at a time. The group is looking for new members who want to better our community and help its youth. If you are interested in making a positive impact in St. Charles for generations to come, please come for lunch. For more information call 636448-4277. You can also visit http://stcharleskiwanis.com.

Tuesdays: Quilting Guild at the O’Fallon Family YMCA 1-4 p.m. Free. Quilt for local charities.

No sewing experience required.

Tuesdays: Toastmasters Meeting

7 p.m. at the Midwest Bank Centre Board Room at 2299 Technology Blvd., O’Fallon, MO 63368. Info: 636-3792505.

Tuesdays: St. Louis Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association Male Caregiver Experience

The group meets on third Tuesday of every month from 10-11:30 a.m. at theAlzheimer’s Chapter Office at 9370 Olive Blvd. For more information about Alzheimer’s disease, support, or the Male Caregiver Experience, please call the Alzheimer’s Association’s 24/7 Helpline at 800-272-3900 or visit www. alz.org/stl. Registration is requested before the first meeting.

What’s Happening

Tuesdays: Show-me Stitchers Embroiderer’s Guild of America

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SUDOKU answers from page F-1

Meets at 7 p.m. on the second Tuesday of the month at the Ladue Chapel. Info: www.showmestitchers.com.

Tuesdays: O’Fallon Garden Club

Meets at 6:30 p.m. on the fourth Tuesday of the month at Sunrise Methodist Church, 7116 Twin Chimney Blvd.

Info: Barb at 636.978.5930. Club does not meet in August or November.

Tuesdays: St. Charles American Legion Post 312 spaghetti dinner.

5pm, St. Charles American Legion Post 312, 2500 Raymond Drive in St. Charles on the last Tuesday of the month. $6 per person. For more information call Post 312 at 636.947.7666.

Get your event or good news published in Community News: email your information in calendar and article

formats to editor@mycnews.com.

Tuesdays: Social club for widows and widowers

On the first and third Tuesday of each month a social club for widows and widowers meets at 7 p.m. at St. John’s United Church of Christ at Fifth and Jackson Streets in St. Charles. On the first Tuesday there are refreshments and on the third Tuesday there is either a speaker or entertainment. The group also goes to breakfast, lunch and dinner monthly, and has a pot luck dinner each month.

www.SHOESANDHOPE.org

Tuesdays: Monthly veterans coffee

Veterans from all branches of service are invited to the Wentzville Green Lantern Senior Center at 506 S. Linn Ave. in Wentzville on the second Tuesday of each month from 9 – 10:30 a.m. for coffee, pastries and camaraderie. Come meet with fellow veterans who served our country and share your experience.

Tuesdays: Dardenne Presbyterian Church Basketball

8-9:30 p.m., in the Christian Life Center, 7400 South Outer 364 in Dardenne Prairie. Open to high school and adult men.

www.myprovidencebank.com

Tuesdays: Fleur de Lis Garden Society

Meets first Tuesday of the month, 6:30 pm at various locations. Info: www. fleurdelisgardensociety.org;

Tuesdays: Central Missouri Railroad Association meeting

This unique organization is for railroad modelers, railfans, photographers and railroad retirees with layouts in O, HO, N hoping to add G scales. Meetings are on second Tuesdays of the month from 7 to 9 p.m. at the Warrenton Masonic Lodge. For more info call 636-279-5522 or 636-456-0776 or visit our Facebook page.

Tuesdays: Cancer support group

Cancer Companions Support Group is a support group for any cancer patient in treatment or post treatment, their caregiver and their loved ones that meets on the second Tuesday of each month at Dardenne Presbyterian Church at 7400 South Outer 364 in Dardenne Prairie at 7 p.m. in the parlor.

www.treasurechestshows.com

10 Sports November 7, 2018 • Community News - St. Charles County • www.mycnews.com Gary B. will be broadcasting the “STL Health and Wellness LIVE” show every Saturday from 9-11 am on 590 The Fan and 590TheFan.com

Sports you see with Gary B...

Lutheran High sophomore excels Congratulations to sophomore DE Travion Ford for breaking the single season sack record with 17 on the year, last week vs. Soldan High.

The record was previously held by Bryce Propst in 2015.

Head coach for the Cougars is former St. Louis Ram’s running back Arlen Harris. “We still have games left and that number probably will rise! This kid secured an SEC offer recently and already has D1s sniffing around like crazy,” coach commented. *Future prospect Class 3 race in the Missouri girls cross country meet O’Fallon Christian’s Mercedes Schroer topped defending champ John Burroughs’ Kylie Goldfarb for the individual title Saturday at Oak Hills Golf Center.

In the latest edition of head-to-head battles between the super sophomores, Schroer crossed first in 19 minutes, 36.26 seconds, on the 5-kilometer course that was muddied by rain in recent days.

“It’s a great feeling,” Schroer said. “Just having the other girls to push me really helped. It’s an amazing feeling. While I was running, I felt kind of tired, but I knew I had to stick with the other girls until the last bit. I would say the conditions on the course weren’t ideal, but I mean you’ve just got to work with it.”

Goldfarb crossed second well ahead thirdplace Olivia Littleton of Smithville.

The gap between Schroer and Goldfarb was less than a second with 200 meters to go before the O’Fallon Christian runner pulled away.

“I love racing against (Schroer),” Goldfarb said. “We push each other. I like it and I’m really happy to have her so we can each get better.” *Competition is healthy

Thanksgiving Eve features big fundraiser for first responders Since 1987, the Guns ‘N Hoses event has been putting on our boxing gloves to raise money for The BackStoppers – an organization that provides immediate and long-term financial aid, as well as support, to the families of our fallen heroes.

The event will be at the Enterprise Center formerly the Scottrade Center, on Nov. 21.

Mixed martial arts has been added to the card recently.

Go to www.STLGunsnHoses.com for all the details. *One of the best and fun events UMSL ends women’s volleyball season The University of Missouri-St. Louis volleyball team closed out its 2018 season with 3-0 set scores victory at Maryville University Saints on Saturday.

Highlights included: *Junior Kylie Rudsinski recorded a matchhigh 12 kills, Junior Selena Nolte had nine and freshman Karlyn Hannewald with eight. *Maddy Russell finished with seven kills, 16 digs and two aces in her final collegiate match. *Freshman Cara Ferchen had 21 assists with sophomore Payton Kennelly with 18. *Freshman Megan Woll tallied 18 digs and finishes the year with 620, a single season record.

The lady Tritons ended the season with a 1415 record and 7-11 in conference. *Great way to end the season Gary Baute, a St. Louis native, may be educated in business but he lives and breathes sports. He hosted a radio sports program on KFNS, emceed the River City Rascals’ inaugural season, and co-hosted SportsRadioSTL. com, among many other activities.

www.mycnews.com • Community News • November 7, 2018

Recipe:

Small plates to make for appealing dishes

Ingredients: Champagne-Dijon Vinaigrette: 2 tablespoons champagne vinegar 1 teaspoon Dijon Mustard 1 tablespoon clover honey 1/2 cup organic olive oil 1/2 teaspoon garlic, minced 1/2 teaspoon sea salt 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 1 teaspoon fresh parsley, finely chopped 1 teaspoon basil, finely chopped 1 pound carrots, peeled and finely shredded 2 tablespoons Italian parsley, chopped 2 tablespoons chives, thinly sliced, plus more cut into 3/4-inch pieces, for garnish 1/3 cup Champagne Vinaigrette fine sea salt, to taste freshly ground black pepper, to taste chive sticks, for garnish Directions: In medium mixing bowl, combine champagne vinegar, Dijon and honey. Whisk constantly until well combined. While whisking, slowly drizzle in olive oil to emulsify. Add garlic, salt, pepper, parsley and basil: whisk to combine.

In mixing bowl, toss carrots, parsley and chives.

Carrots and Fresh Herbs with Champagne-Dijon Vinaigrette

– SUDOKU –

Prep time: 10 minutes | Servings: 6

Add dressing. Season, to taste, with sea salt and freshly ground black pepper. Garnish with chive sticks.

Notes: Vinaigrette can be stored in refrigerator up to five days. For zestier salad, add additional 2 tablespoons vinaigrette to carrots; serve with crusty bread.

Movie sequels could be a Thanksgiving treat

M O V I E

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Fill in the blank squares in the grid, making sure that every row, column and 3-by-3 box includes all the digits 1 through 9.

Plan how you’ll adapt your favorite dishes for size – and season – with more tips and recipes at carapelliusa.com.

M

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any Americans can turn the Thanksgiving Day holiday into a four-day weekend filled with friends, family, food and football.

After the pumpkin pie is served, many people also head to the local multiplex for the latest movie offerings. This year, a couple of notable sequels will arrive just before the turkey is on the table.

Three years ago, “Creed,” a film in the “Rocky” family of movies, told the story of Adonis Johnson (Michael B. Jordan), the son of Apollo Creed who was born out of wedlock. He had a good-paying office job but decided to pursue a career in boxing. He sought out Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone), his father’s friend and former boxing rival, to train him. Rocky also had his own battle to fight with cancer.

Though part of a long-running movie franchise, “Creed” really was in a class by itself, surpassing the original “Rocky” films in numerous ways. “Creed II,” due in theaters on Nov. 21, continues the story and sees the return of Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren), the Russian boxer who landed a fatal blow on Apollo Creed. In response, the cold-hearted Drago simply said, “If he dies, he dies.”

The “Creed” sequel focuses on a bout between Adonis and Viktor Drago (Florian Munteanu), Ivan’s son. Mary Ann Creed (Phylicia Rashad), having already lost her husband, doesn’t want

SEE ANSWERS ON PAGE 9

By Steve Bryan

must navigate around pop-up ads and avoid information overload.

Vanellope, who adores racing cars, finds herself drawn to “Slaughter Race,” a violent game that gives her the freedom to drive any way she likes.

“Wreck-It Ralph” worked well thanks to the dynamic between Ralph and Vanellope. Ralph adores his best friend, but she finds a kindred spirit in Shank (Gal Gadot), a “Ralph Breaks the Internet” photo courtesy Walt Disney Pictures driver in “Slaughter Race.” Vanellope also has a close encounter with a large group of notable Disney princesses. Afher adopted son dying in the ring as well. Adonis also has Bianca (Tessa Thompson), his girlfriend ter all this, Ralph is afraid his friend may never and the mother of his child, to worry about. In return to the game she left behind.

Between the turkey stuffing and the shopping, the trailer, Rocky puts the fight into perspective “Creed II” and “Ralph Breaks the Internet” defiwhen he says “He (Drago) broke things in me nitely will offer some tasty entertainment over that ain’t never been fixed. It ain’t worth it.”

Also opening on Nov. 21, “Ralph Breaks the the holiday weekend.

Internet,” the sequel to “Wreck-It Ralph,” revisits a couple of charming Disney characters.

Born and raised in South Ralph (voice of John C. Reilly), a video game St. Louis, Steve Bryan is villain with a soft heart, is still hanging with now based in Anaheim, California, and has been his best friend Vanellope von Schweetz, a racer allowed access to movie in the “Sugar Rush” arcade game who also is a and television sets to see princess. actors and directors at Unfortunately, the game’s steering wheel work. Though his writing breaks, forcing the arcade owner to unplug it. has taken him far from St. Louis, Steve is, at heart, After evacuating the game’s characters, Ralph still the same wide-eyed kid and Vanellope travel the Internet to find a re- who spent countless hours watching classic movies placement. They, like anyone with a browser, at neighborhood theaters.

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November 7, 2018 • Community News • www.mycnews.com

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NOVENA PRAYER TO ST. JUDE May the Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, glorified, loved and preserved throughout the world, now and forever. Sacred Heart of Jesus, Pray for us. St. Jude, Worker of Miracles, Pray for us. St. Jude, Helper of the Hopeless, Pray for us.

Say this prayer 9 times a day for 9 days, then publish. Your prayers will be answered.

It has never been known to fail.

Thank you, St. Jude. R.H.

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www.mycnews.com • Community News • November 7, 2018

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Yeggs

November 7, 2018 • Community News • www.mycnews.com

John Hanna

Moore On Life

By Cindy Moore

TONE DEAF

‘Yeggs’ is a comic series about Robert and Bill, two rabbits who have opened their own egg franchise in the Midwest (St. Louis area). We follow their day to day lives, watching as they go about the hectic task of preparing for their one big day every year. Along the way they have adventures filled with fun, comic doings and pathos.

We just got done with Halloween and let me tell you…it was frightening! The creepers, ghouls and witches were everywhere.

Pathetic creatures all of them out there begging for handouts. No, I’m not talking about the cute little gremlins trick-or-treating door to door, but the fiends campaigning for the midterm elections. It brings out the worst monstrosities one can imagine all hoping to get back to Washington.

I’ve been keeping an eye on them by watching the news. The politicians say they’ve polled the nation and have the results on what Americans think about critical issues. Now that’s a load of steamy bovine excrement since no one answers their cellphones to strangers. If an anonymous number rings, we are alerted with an “Unknown caller” message. It’s immediately sent to the trash heap of mystery calls. No one gets through.

The only people left on the planet who might answer nameless callers are the few who still have landlines and are born before 1930.

My Uncle Lemont would be one of those people. He’s mostly deaf and partially blind. He might hear it on the eighth ring only after unintentionally sitting by the phone next to his easy chair. But then it would take three more rings for him to locate the thing and answer it. I guess if the command center polling station has the patience, it technically could happen.

Eleventh ring: “Hello. Who’s calling? Speak up please!”

Command Center: “Hello, Sir. This is Washington.”

“You want to do my washing? Well that’s mighty kind of you. I’ve got a load of dirty underdrawers that need scrubbing. Come on over and get them.”

“No Sir. I mean, do you have a minute? We’d like to take a poll.”

“Now that’s a fool thing. Why would you take someone’s pole? I’m calling the authorities!”

“Sir, if you could tell me what your opinion is on medical marijuana.”

“Mary? That was my first wife’s name. Joanna was my fourth.

Don’t tell them I’m still alive!”

“I’ll mark that as an affirmative. Now tell me what your feelings are on immigration?”

“Oh, I’m all for it!”

“So I can put you down as a yes?”

“Absolutely! I carry a hose and sprinkler around now and it wears out my bones. I’d take irrigation any day.”

“Wonderful. Thank you for your time.”

Government procedures, like Lemont’s undies, need serious changing.

Cindy Moore is the mother of three superlative kids, servant of two self-indulgent felines and wife to one nifty husband. Her ficticious occupation? Archeological Humorist: someone who unearths absurdity and hilarity in strange and unusual places including public restrooms, the lint filter, and church meetings. Most recently, she excavated a find in her neighbor’s bird feeder.

The opinions expressed in this column are Cindy Moore’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.