CNSTC: December 14, 2022

O Christmas tree

Wentzville United Methodist Church provides Thanksgiving turkeys to families in need. Pg. 3

Deliver damaged holiday items to St. Charles County’s Recycle Works. Pg. 3

Dardenne Presbyterian Church hosts ‘Blue Christmas’ service. Pg. 4

UMSL men’s basketball undefeated this season. Pg. 6

Features

By Brett Auten

Whether it’s the aroma or a hearken to holidays past, a live Christmas tree can add a special presence to a home.

Living Christmas trees bring a feel to the holidays that no artificial tree can duplicate. The natural scent of fir or pine can set the Christmas mood as sure as colorful lights or a favorite carol. Live trees are also a renewable resource, unlike artificial ones which are made of non-recyclable metal and petroleum-based products.

The way to get the freshest tree is to make a

family outing of it by visiting a Christmas tree farm and cutting it yourself. In Wright City, Country Pines Christmas Tree Farm opened to the public in 1984.

At Country Pines, you arrive at its picturesque red barn and they provide a hand saw and you get to search the field of scotch pines tree to find the perfect tree for your home, all of its trees range in height of four-feet all the way up to 11-feet tall. Allan Wehrman, the originator of Country Pines, suggests that in case you do not want to recreate a scene from “Christmas Vacation,” bigger is not always better.

“The trees get a lot bigger once you bring them through the door,” Wehrman said. “Once you get them standing straight, you add a little water and check it every day. It’s pretty simple.”

People return year after year to Country Pines for many reasons.

“But mostly, it is all about the family experience and tradition,” Wehrman said. “It’s a big deal to come out and cut your own tree.”

Wherman estimated that he plants 1,500 to 2,000 trees annually.

Recipe, Movie & Sudoku. Pg. F-1

CLA SSIFIEDS AND HOME & GARDEN. Pg. F-2 /F-3

Moore On Life, Lifestyle & Crossword. Pg. F-4

An employee from Wright City’s Country Pines Christmas Tree Farm helps load a tree for a family.

Lynn Sullivan has 33 years in the tree business as Sullivan Farms has locations throughout the region, including St. Charles and Wentzville. Sullivan pulls in his trees from Oregan, Michigan and Canada. He will go through double digit tractor trailer loads of them.

“We tell people, you can’t have a real Christmas without a real tree,” Sullivan said. “It’s about getting back to the basics. Lotsa people will buy candles with that (Christmas tree) smell, but it is not the same.”

Trees like these are a renewable resource since more are planted in the place of those taken. Good conservation practices like this will help keep green on Missouri’s landscapes and a boost to the economy.

There are a few things to remember when caring for a live tree. The most important thing is to keep it watered. A tree can drink up a significant amount of water each day. Not only that, but water can also evaporate quickly in typically dry winter air. Never

let the water level fall below the bottom of the trunk. Placement of the tree in your home is important as well, to prevent any potential fire hazard. You should keep it away from your heating vents, where forced air will dry things out. And you want to keep it away from fireplaces and candles, or any kind of open flame.

A Christmas tree’s work is not done when the holidays are over. According to a Missouri Department of Conservation forester, it’s also the perfect gift for nature long after the holidays are over.

“It can be used for quite a few different things,” Forester Mark Grueber said. “You can just cut up the limbs and place them over your plants, especially those that might be a little more tender because it’s a great way to insulate them over the winter. Chopping the limbs up with pruning shears into little pieces also makes good organic matter for mulch. “

An alternative is checking with local municipalities. Many have Christmas tree drop off sites where they recycle the donated trees to create mulch.

A cut tree can also offer a bounty of gifts to wildlife for the coming year.

“You can just set it out in your yard and it becomes cover for birds and little mammals,” Grueber said.

“Or you can set it up and decorate it with peanut butter-covered pinecones, fruit slices or suet baskets and help provide food for birds.”

Live Christmas trees can be an excellent way to discover and celebrate nature, both during the holidays and for a long time to come.

If you are a last-minute shopper and still in the market for a Christmas tree, buyers have two choices. The first is selecting a cut tree, available in many locally owned tree lots in the area.

“You want to make sure the needles are fairly tight,” Grueber said. “The best thing is to just take it and bang it up and down on a nice, solid piece of ground and check to see how many needles are coming off,” he said. “And you can kind of tell by touch. Brush your hand along some of the needles, and if quite a few are dropping off, that’s probably a tree you want to avoid.”

The other live tree option is to purchase a living evergreen from a local nursery or garden center. Live evergreens normally come either potted or balled in burlap. These trees can also be planted after the holidays and provide homeowners a lasting gift for years to come.

Pet Adoption Center’s holiday season includes Santa Paws event for pets

Jolly Old St. Nick is paying a special visit to all the good little dogs and cats (and rabbits and other animals) at the St. Charles County Pet Adoption Center’s Santa Paws event from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 17. All are welcome to view pets up for adoption and fostering, bring their current pet to meet Santa, and participate in the holiday festivities. The center is located at 4850 Mid Rivers Mall Drive in St. Peters.

The Santa Paws festivities include:

• Pet and family photos with Santa Claus. (Photos are free for those who adopt at the event. Donations will be accepted for photos with current pets.)

• Dog, puppy, cat and kitten adoptions for $30 (originally $60).

• Senior pets (dogs and cats older than seven years of age), pets who’ve been at the shelter longer than 30 days and rabbit adoptions for $10.

• Gift bags for the first 10 dogs and 10 cats adopted.

• Discussions and demonstrations by professional dog and cat trainers.

To view animals available for adoption or fostering at the Pet Adoption Center, visit sccmo.org/pets or visit the facility. Adoptions include a health examination, initial vaccinations, spay/neuter service and microchipping.

“A holiday pet can be a joyous gift that lasts for years, and Pet Adoption Center staff works hard to place the right pet with the right family” Division of Humane Services Director Katie Willis says. “When there is a good match between owners and their chosen pets, animals and families make a lasting connection. We strive to make the transition from our shelter into a forever home as successful and stress-free as possible.”

Can’t adopt? Consider fostering or a gift

While not every home is ready to adopt a new pet, everyone can help the Pet Adoption Center animals.

Those unable to commit to full-time pet ownership might consider becoming a pet foster. Foster families help prepare pets for future adoption. In the quiet comfort of a private home, foster parents can socialize dogs or cats with other people or pets and provide behavioral clues that can be used to improve connection with families interested in adoption. Foster families receive food and care supplies for the animal

and 24-hour support. For information on applying to become a pet foster, visit sccmo.org/PetFoster or call 636-949-7387. If fostering is not possible but you still want to help area animals, here are a few suggestions for those able to donate to the shelter this season:

• Dog and cat treats or toys

• Dog and cat food – canned or dry

• Towels and bedding

• Non-retractable leashes and collars of all sizes

To learn more about pet adoptions and services provided through the St. Charles County Pet Adoption Center, visit sccmo. org/PAC or call 636-949-7387.

Submitted photo

Wentzville United Methodist Church provides Thanksgiving turkeys to families in need

Wentzville United Methodist Church provided 25 turkeys to families in need via the Wentzville School District for the Thanksgiving holiday. In addition, WUMC supply all the food for the District’s Operation Backpack program at Heritage Elementary, Wentzville Middle School, Holt High School, and Pearce Hall throughout the school year. Operation Backpack provides a bag of food every Friday for students in need so they have something nutritious to eat over the weekend.

Deliver damaged holiday lights and ornaments to St. Charles County’s Recycle Works

We’re entering the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”

But, for decorators who find broken, damaged, or outdated light strands and home ornaments, the fun of decorating can turn quickly into frustration.

On your way to the store to replenish your décor, why not drop off those unwanted items at a St. Charles County Recycle Works facility? It just might help to restore your holiday cheer, but definitely will reduce waste and repurpose raw materials into new products. Residents can deliver holiday decorations to Recycle Works Central in St. Charles or Recycle Works West in Wentzville for recycling at no charge.

Please note: light strands and small items may be brought in any condition, but plastic decorations larger than three feet in size must be cut into smaller pieces. In addition to decorations, the facilities accept extension cords, electrical power strips, used or unwanted holiday wrapping paper (without bows or ribbons) and clean cardboard boxes.

“Every year, the holiday season creates a large amount of trash, but a large percentage of that material can be recycled,” Ryan Tilley, Director of St. Charles County’s Division of Environmental Health and Protection says.

Additional items accepted at Recycle Works

Recycle Works complements curbside recycling efforts and accepts many items at little to no cost to St. Charles County residents throughout the year. Residents may bring these materials to either facility during open hours:

• Traditional recyclables: Aluminum, tin cans, most plastics, clean and useable clothing or other textiles, cardboard and dry paper goods, and more are collected at no charge.

• Electronic goods: Items accepted include large and small kitchen appliances, computers and accessories, televisions and monitors, cellular phones and accessories, and more. Some materials are recycled at no charge, while others require a per unit fee.

• Fluorescent light bulbs: Up to five fluorescent bulbs per month can be recycled by St. Charles County residents at no charge. Additional bulbs and those brought in by commercial organizations are charged a per unit fee.

St. Charles County Recycle Works locations

The facilities are open from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Monday through Saturday (except observed holiday) at: Recycle Works Central at 60 Triad South Drive in St. Charles and Recycle Works West at 2110 East Pitman Avenue in Wentzville.

For a complete list of items accepted or for more information, visit sccmo. org/RecycleWorks or call 636-949-1800.

Submitted photo

Submitted photo

Dardenne Presbyterian Church hosts ‘Blue Christmas’ service

All are welcome to attend a “Blue Christmas Service” hosted by Dardenne Presbyterian Church, Sunday, Dec. 18 at 6:30 p.m.

Suffering the loss of a loved one at any time of the year is a heavy burden, but this grief is more difficult to bear during the holidays. Society encourages us to join in all the seasonal activities, but the gatherings, sounds, sights, and smells often trigger sad

memories. The “Blue Christmas” service focuses on facing loss, and how God uses this season as a time for healing.

The service will be held in the Rock Church on Dardenne’s lower campus at 7400 South Outer Road, Dardenne Prairie. For additional information, call the church office Monday-Thursday (9 a.m. – 4 p.m.) at 636-561-4347, Facebook, or online at dpc4u.org.

Waterfowl hunters reminded about waterfowl regulations and other information for the 2022-23 hunting season

The fall migration has begun and with duck and goose seasons upon us, the Missouri Department of Conservation (MDC) offers some important information to help waterfowl hunters in the St. Louis Region.

“Cooler weather has ushered down ducks and geese to our area from up north and good waterfowl hunting should ensue because of this,” said St. Charles County Conservation Agent, Corporal James Bolden.

Currently, MDC intensively manages two conservation areas (C.A.) in the St. Louis Region for waterfowl hunting: Marais Temps Clair in St. Charles County and B.K. Leach in Lincoln County. Each of these areas have a morning draw to allocate hunting positions. Morning draw times and procedures can be found on the MDC website at https://short.mdc.mo.gov/ZFj.

Hunters should note that due to water pumpstation failure, Columbia Bottom C.A. switched to open waterfowl hunting (no draw) on Nov. 8. Naturally variable water levels will dictate available hunting locations on the area. Hunters can call the Waterfowl Hotline at 314877-6014 to check the area’s current water levels.

“There are some additional conservation areas and portions of both the Missouri and Mississippi Rivers that may provide waterfowl hunting opportunities in the region, such as Prairie Slough C.A., Cuivre Island C.A., Upper Mississippi C.A., and the unrestricted portion of the Mississippi River,” Cpl. Bolden said.

There are three separate duck hunting zones in the state, and the St. Louis Region is split by the North Zone and Middle Zone. A full map of the zone boundaries can be found in MDC’s “2022- 2023 Migratory Bird and Waterfowl Hunting Digest.”

“Before going hunting on any conservation area or portion of river, be sure to research if waterfowl hunting is allowed and, if so, the rules and regulations that apply. Feel free to contact the local conservation agent for further information if needed,” said Bolden.

Waterfowl season dates for the 2022-2023 seasons are as follows:

DUCKS AND COOTS:

• North Zone: Oct. 29 – Dec. 27

• Middle Zone: Nov. 19 – Jan. 8, 2023

• South Zone: Dec. 7 – Jan. 31, 2023

GEESE:

• Statewide: Nov. 11 – Feb. 6, 2023

Bolden offered these regulation reminders and general information for the waterfowl seasons:

• Outbreaks of the highly pathogenic avian influenza (HPAI) affecting waterfowl species have been reported in Chariton, Jackson, St. Charles, and St. Louis counties. Waterfowl hunters should properly dispose of harvest waste. After cleaning waterfowl, hunters are encouraged to place the remains in trash bags and dispose of them through trash collection or a permitted landfill. This will help limit the spread of the disease.

• Required Missouri permits are a Small Game Hunting Permit, a Migratory Bird Hunting Permit, and a Federal Waterfowl Stamp. An electronic Federal Waterfowl Stamp is only valid for 45 days, after that a physical Federal Waterfowl Stamp must be possessed and signed across the face while waterfowl hunting.

• Shooting hours are one-half hour before sunrise to sunset.

• Possession and use of lead shot is prohibited.

• Shotguns must be 10 gauge or smaller and cannot be capable of holding more than three shells.

• The head or one fully feathered wing must remain attached to all waterfowl while being transported from the field to one’s home.

• Daily limits for ducks include a total of 6 ducks with species restrictions of four mallards (no more than two hens), three wood ducks, two black ducks, two canvasbacks, two hooded mergansers, two redheads, two scaup during the first 45 days of season and one scaup during the last 15 days of season, one mottled duck, and one pintail.

• The daily limit for coots is 15.

• Daily limits for geese include 20 light geese, three Canada geese and brant combined, and two white-fronted geese.

• Report your bands. Bands recovered and reported by hunters provide important information about survival, migration, and harvest rates for a variety of migratory game birds.

• Be sure to handle game birds properly: do not handle or eat birds that are obviously sick or found dead, clean birds in a well-ventilated area, wear rubber gloves, wash hands and tools, etc.

• When using a boat with a motor, including a layout boat, state statutes apply. See Water Patrol Home (missouri.gov) for further information concerning boating.

Other regulations and general information can be found in the “2022-2023 Migratory Bird and Waterfowl Hunting Digest,” or at www.mdc.mo.gov.

Take Notice . . .

The events listed in this section are the latest updates as of press time, please check with individual sites for the most up to date cancellations and reschedule info.

EVENTS

Dec.

St. Charles County Youth Orchestra (SCCYO) during mid-season video auditions.

hosting a free auto care clinic for women at the repair center. Donations will be accept-

What’s Happening

ed for local charity and each month there will be a class free of charge on the first Sat-

urday of each month.

17: Craft fair

Dec.

17: Gift making workshop/parents day out

A gift making workshop/parents day out takes place from 10:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. at St. John UCC at 405 South Fifth Street in St. Charles. All children should bring their own lunch and an afternoon snack. Children will make gifts, play games and watch movies. Register by calling the church office at 636-724-1015.

Wentzville United Methodist Church at 725 Wall Street in Wentzville is hosting a candy/cookie sale and crafts fair from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. In addition, a Christmas Stocking Display will be featured. For more information visit www:livelovegrow.org or call 636-327-6377.

Dec. 31: Youth orchestra auditions

Music students can join the

SUDOKU answers from page F-1

Video auditions will be accepted through Dec. 31. Rehearsals begin on Jan. 7. All levels of string, wind, brass, and percussion are accepted. The orchestra rehearsals are on Saturdays with two performance opportunities on April 1 and May 20. SCCYO Winter Concert will be held on Dec. 18 at 2 p.m. at Missouri Baptist University. For more information about auditions or tickets for the concert please contact sccyomusic@gmail. com or www.sccyo.org.

Jan. 7: Auto care clinic

Starting in January, Kim Barks of Complete Car & RV Repair Center at 3309 New Town Blvd. in St. Charles will be

CROSSWORD answers from page F-4

Sports you see with Gary B . . .

UMSL men’s basketball undefeated this season

The University of Missouri-St. Louis team, lead by Mayson Quartlebaum, played the old fashioned three-point play with 4.8 seconds that left a 60-all tie and gave the Tritons a 63-60 win over Lewis for its ninth straight win to begin the season on Saturday afternoon at the Mark Twain Building. They improved to 9-0, 4-0 Great Lakes Valley Conference (GLVC) while the Lewis Flyers drop to 4-5.

UMSL is off to its best start in school history.

Lewis led by as many as eight in the opening half as its first six field goals were from three. The Tritons answered with a 9-0 run to take a 20-18 on a pair of free throws from Donovan Vickers with 5:12 left in the half. UMSL extended its lead to 25-22 after two free throws from Victor Nwagbaraocha with 2:25 remaining but the Flyers closed the half on a 7-0 run to take a 29-25 lead into the locker room at the break.

The Tritons opened the second half on a 14-5 run to build a 39-34 advantage on a three-pointer from Bowen Sandquist 4:30 minutes into the frame. Lewis countered with a 7-1 run of its own to retake the lead at 41-40 on a jumper by Jamere Hill 2:22 later.

The Flyers still led by one with 11:09 left after another jumper from Hill but UMSL scored seven straight to grab its largest lead of the game at 51-45 on a layup from Isaiah Fuller at the 8:38 mark.

Lewis rallied scoring eight straight to take a 53-51 lead with 6:01 to play after Atakan Sahinkaya tipped in a miss from Beau Frericks. Nwagbaraocha tied the

game at 53 going coast-to-coast for a layup after rebounding a Sahinkaya miss with 4:45 to play.

Frericks gave the Flyers their final lead of the game with a three-pointer from the top of the key with 4:30 remaining.

UMSL countered with seven straight getting four points from Matt Enright and three from Sandquist to take a 60-56 with 2:23 left.

Once again, the Flyers answered as Sahinkaya got another tip in to cut the lead to two and then with 0:30 left Vlado Zrnic tipped in a Frericks miss to tie the game at 60.

The Tritons held the ball for nearly the remainder of the game. Fuller drove the left baseline and tried to hit a pull-up jumper in the closing seconds but his shot was off but Quartlebaum was there for the putback, was fouled by Zrnic and hit the free throw to put UMSL in front.

Lewis got the ball in the front court and the Tritons chose to foul Hill with 3.1 left. Hill intentionally missed the front end of the one-and-one and the rebound was tipped out to Anthony Sayles Jr. for a game-tying three-point attempt. His shot at the buzzer was short securing the win for UMSL.

The Tritons shot 44 percent (24-for-54) from the field in the contest in the contest, were 6-of-21 from three and shot 75 percent at the foul line. Nwagbaraocha led UMSL with a season-high 18 points while Sandquist finished with 15.

The Flyers finished the game shooting 48 percent (24-for-50) from the floor including 9-of-21 from three and shot 60 percent at the foul line. Frericks led all scorers with 20 points while Hill added 12.

~~~Great start to the season

Gary Baute, a St. Louis native, may be educated in business but he lives and breathes sports. As a fan or an athlete, Gary is all sports all the time. He hosted a radio sports program on KFNS, emceed the River City Rascals’ inaugural season, and co-hosted SportsRadioSTL.com, and is currently hosting a Health show on 97.1 FM, ‘Prime Time Health’ www.PrimeTimeSTL.com It broadcasts Saturday nights at 8 and Sunday mornings at 9.

Recipe: Cheers to charcuterie

Over the past few years, the popularity of charcuterie boards has expanded from restaurant appetizers to holiday get-togethers and everything in between. The infinitely customizable assortment of meats, cheeses, fruits, breads and spreads can add a pop of color and flavor to your table and provide many options for your family and guests.

What is Charcuterie?

Charcuterie is a French term for the art of preparing and assembling cured meat and meat products. Charcuterie-style meat and cheese boards have become very popular outside of France, and this concept has evolved to include many foods besides meat, along with a variety of presentation variations and ingredient themes.

Tips for the

Perfect Board

Prepare a charcuterie board with a collection of foods from different categories. This ensures a wide variety of textures, flavors and colors to choose from, and makes it appealing to the eye as well. Here are suggested selections to include in the perfect board:

Cheese: Opt for a variety of textures, colors and shapes. Pre-slice for ease of serving and allow cheese to sit out to room temperature for enhanced flavor. Soft cheeses can be served in a small dish with a cheese knife.

Meat: Popular meat options are salami, prosciutto, pepperoni and ham. Roll or fold meats and stack.

Fresh Fruits and Vegetables: Grapes, apples, berries and dried fruits such as apricots and cherries are popular fruit choices. Cherry tomatoes, sliced cucumbers and radishes provide additional color and texture.

Bread and Crunch: Sliced baguette, crackers, pita chips, pretzel chips and nuts are all great options. Placing them in small bowls or plates on the side will save room on the board, if needed.

Extras: Complete the board with extra elements that add unique flavors. Examples include jams or preserves, olives, hummus, salted butter, pickled vegetables, dips and honey.

– SUDOKU –

Movie:

By Steve Bryan

Born and raised in South St. Louis, Steve Bryan is now based in Anaheim, California, and has been allowed access to movie and television sets to see actors and directors at work. Though his writing has taken him far from St. Louis, Steve is, at heart, still the same wide-eyed kid who spent countless hours watching classic movies at neighborhood theaters.

Alley was a talented actress who could easily switch between serious roles and broad comedy. Alley passed away on Dec. 5, a victim of colon cancer.

Kirstie

She left behind some truly great performances, not the least of which was her inspired work on “Cheers.”

After her passing, Alley’s children, True and Lillie Parker, released the following statement: “We are sad to inform you that our incredible, fierce and loving mother has passed away after a battle with cancer, only recently discovered.”

The actress left behind a legacy of comedies, dramas and science fiction adventures. In 1982’s “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan,” Alley made an impressive big screen debut as Lt. Saavik, a Vulcan officer mentored by the legendary Mr. Spock (Leonard Nimoy). In the opening sequence, Saavik was seen in the command chair attempting to rescue surviving crew members of the “Kobayashi Maru,” a damaged civilian ship.

After several Klingon attacks, Saavik ordered the crew to abandon ship, but this was later revealed to be a simulation used to test the character of officers. According to James T. Kirk (William Shatner), he was the only one to ever beat that simulation.

Alley’s “Star Trek” debut didn’t take place right away, which turned out to be a good thing. After years of syndicated television reruns, in 1979, Paramount Pictures re-

leased “Star Trek: The Motion Picture,” a full-length feature film with original “Trek” cast members. Fans who had waited patiently for a great movie left disappointed, though, with the overused special effects. When “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” arrived in theaters, Alley portrayed Lt. Saavik as a dedicated Starfleet officer who wasn’t afraid to speak her mind to her superiors including Captain Kirk (William Shatner).

In the late 1980’s, Kirstie Alley returned to earth to star in “Cheers.” Sam Malone (Ted Danson) had sold his beloved bar to the Lillian Corporation and went sailing around the world, so the corporation then named Alley’s Rebecca Howe the new bar manager. Sam finally returned to “Cheers” looking for work and immediately ran afoul of his new boss. For her work on “Cheers,” in 1991, she won a Golden Globe Award as the “Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical Series” and a 1991 Emmy Award as “Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series.”

Kirstie Alley even made time for movies. She starred opposite John Travolta in the popular romantic comedy “Look Who’s Talking.” Alley played Mollie, a New York City accountant who became pregnant by a married man and was befriended by taxi driver James (Travolta).

Voiced by Bruce Willis, baby Mikey used his inner monologue to make sarcastic comments about what all the adults were doing. The original film spawned two sequels and inspired a short-lived sitcom called “Baby Talk.” Alley also received accolades for her work on the sitcom “Veronica’s Closet.”

Kirstie Alley was an award-winning actress who could travel to the depths of outer space, land safely back in a bar where “Everyone knows your name” and still look fabulous. She will be sorely missed for her passion and talent.

Remembering the talented Kirstie Alley

Kirstie Alley photo courtesy Bigstock

It PET CEMETERY over 4,000 pet burials; over 6 acres; over 60 yrs old. 314-576-3030 www.memoryparkpetcemetery.info

has never been known to fail. NOVENA SINGERS WANTED

PRAYER TO ST. JUDE May the Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, glorified, loved and preserved throughout the world, now and forever. Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us. St. Jude, Worker of Miracles, Pray for us. St. Jude, Helper of the Hopeless, Pray for us.

Moore on Life: Song writers and wrongers

There are some things that take the jolly out of my holly and they need to be exposed. Sorry folks, I really hate to be the one to drop a cat doodie in the old holiday fruitcake, but…hmm, on second thought that just might be an improvement.

Anywho, here’s a major humbuggery that really gets my goose giblets in a twist: bad Christmas songs. Don’t even get me started! There are soo many. First: “Please Daddy Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas.”

Really? I realize we all have our personal issues with family weirdoes. I know I have mine in my family because I am one, only no one’s written a song about me…yet. (Oh, what I could do with those royalties…!)

So, can we just leave our dysfunctional family crazies out of the Yuletide and save them for around the Thanksgiving dinner table?

There’s yet another tune that gets my sugar plums in a knot; the one about buying shoes for their deceased mother to wear. Whose genius idea was it to combine glad tidings with the workings of an undertaker?

How did this brainstorming session go?

Songwriter #1: “Let’s think of a catchy Christmas song. What has everyone got?”

Writer #2: “How about candy canes and deck them halls with ribbons and bows then throw in some dancing elves for starters?”

Writer #3: “Naw, that’s overrated. I’m thinking more of misery, poverty, dreaded disease and a barefoot dead lady.”

Writer #1: “Whoa! Edgy! I like it. We’ll add some jin-

The most meaningful gifts are rarely the ones that can be wrapped and found under a tree. This holiday season, gifts can go beyond just thoughtful presents for family, friends and loved ones and can make real impact for children globally.

As the world faces multiple crises from the war in Ukraine to the malnutrition crisis in the Horn of Africa and devastating floods in Pakistan, giving back to those in need is as crucial as ever.

Handcrafted by talented artisans from all around the world, UNICEF Market is a unique collection of carefully curated gifts ranging from jewelry to apparel, home decor, kitchenware and more. The gifts give back three times over by supporting artisans and helping local economies thrive, assisting vulnerable children in need and making for thoughtful and compassionate gifts for loved ones. By purchasing gifts from the market, individuals can contribute to creating a more equitable world for every child.

Additionally, UNICEF Inspired Gifts provide meaningful opportunities to make a difference by donating important resources in the name of a loved one alongside a personalized card or e-greeting. You can help children facing the malnutrition crisis in the Horn of Africa by purchasing High-Energy Biscuits to help a

By

gle bells in the background and wear Santa hats while we record and boom – Christmas hit!”

Then there’s the one about Grandma becoming roadkill because of a flying horned projectile. Sounds like Granny must have been drinking with drunk daddy. Also, a downer, the one about the guy giving his girlfriend his heart for Christmas only to have it returned the very next day.

I’m thinking the dude literally gave away his heart. He must have been on life support and by the time it was returned it was probably way too ripe to reinsert. He also would have given this girl a piece of his mind, but he didn’t have the heart! Buwahahahaha! (And this is why I get paid the big bucks.)

So, songwriters, get a clue: no doom and gloom, although a ditty about cat doodie in the fruitcake sounds like a sure winner to me!

Cindy Moore is the mother of three superlative kids, servant of two self-indulgent felines and wife to one nifty husband. Her ficticious occupation? Archeological Humorist: someone who unearths absurdity and hilarity in strange and unusual places including public restrooms, the lint filter, and church meetings. Most recently, she excavated a find in her neighbor’s bird feeder.

The opinions expressed in this column are Cindy Moore’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.

malnourished child survive and grow healthy. To help provide 50 children with the essentials they need to continue their educations, your donation would provide them with backpacks, exercise books, pens and more. You can also provide a donation to fully vaccinate one child for life, providing him or her with the protection needed to live a healthy and happy life.

To help support its lifesaving mission, UNICEF USA’s partners, including MAC, Hallmark, Pandora and more are making a donation for every product sold this holiday season. For example, every cent of MAC’s Viva Glam Lipsticks is donated to organizations around the world supporting healthy futures and equal rights for all like the United Nations Children’s Fund, which is working to reduce HIV transmission from mothers to babies and help end AIDS in adolescents. In addition, for every “Pandora for UNICEF” charm sold through the new year, Pandora will donate a portion of the proceeds to the organization’s work for children’s education, gender equality, rights awareness and more.

This holiday season, spread some joy and make a difference in the world by visiting market.unicefusa.org where you can support efforts to ensure every child is healthy, educated, protected and respected.

Cindy Moore CROSSWORD: HAPPY HOLIDAYS