OurThoughts MOORE ON LIFE BY CINDY MOORE
Can of worms Well it’s September and you know what that means?
2020 isn’t over yet? Exactly! Three more months and counting. I don’t think the world can wait for this year to end. We haven’t had this much anticipation for something since our local grocery store said they were getting a new shipment of double-ply toilet paper. But fear not Debbie-downers and lovers of all things Twilight Zone-ish. 2020 hasn’t disappointed. It continues. Like a bad penny, it seems like 2020 just keeps coming back. And speaking of pennies, have you heard? There’s a change shortage. Even bad pennies are hard to come by now. What’s that all about? It seems like since everything’s been shut down there’s a crimp in the coin circulation. Plus the mint that stamps out the money has cut back on production and has let half of its staff stay at home due to the virus. All together there’s less ching ching. You know what that means? All us hoarders with pickle jars filled with spare change need to do our patriotic duty and turn it loose back into circulation. And all those pennies lying around which people once stuck their noses up at and passed by, now have a new appreciation. Hmm? Just maybe that’s why there are so many clashes in the streets nowadays. Random citizen: “Hey! There’s a penny on the sidewalk.” Second random citizen: “Back off! I saw it first!” Third random citizen: “That’s not a penny. That’s a NICKEL!” Cue full on street riot to begin. So not only has this year affected the metals being produced at the mint, but now there’s an aluminum shortage. Does that mean there’s less aluminum foil? No biggie. I
12 | OUR TOWN | SEPTEMBER 2020
can always get away with using baggies or plastic wrap. Besides, isn’t that what Tupperware is for? Not a huge problem… What’s that? Aluminum cans are in short supply too. Therefore cans of my favorite soda may be in short supply, therefore people will start stock piling them like a repeat of the great toilet paper shortage of 2020! Excuse me…I have to get down to my local grocery store. Something tells me there’s a lineup already!
Cindy Moore is the mother of three superlative kids, servant of two self-indulgent felines and wife to one nifty husband. Her ficticious occupation? Archeological Humorist: someone who unearths absurdity and hilarity in strange and unusual places including public restrooms, the lint filter, and church meetings. Most recently, she excavated a find in her neighbor’s bird feeder.
