Our Thoughts

MOORE ON LIFE BY CINDY MOORE Can of worms

Well it’s September and you know what that means? 2020 isn’t over yet?

Exactly! Three more months and counting. I don’t think the world can wait for this year to end. We haven’t had this much anticipation for something since our local grocery store said they were getting a new shipment of double-ply toilet paper.

But fear not Debbie-downers and lovers of all things Twilight Zone-ish. 2020 hasn’t disappointed. It continues.

Like a bad penny, it seems like 2020 just keeps coming back. And speaking of pennies, have you heard? There’s a change shortage. Even bad pennies are hard to come by now. What’s that all about?

It seems like since everything’s been shut down there’s a crimp in the coin circulation. Plus the mint that stamps out the money has cut back on production and has let half of its staff stay at home due to the virus.

All together there’s less ching ching.

You know what that means? All us hoarders with pickle jars filled with spare change need to do our patriotic duty and turn it loose back into circulation. And all those pennies lying around which people once stuck their noses up at and passed by, now have a new appreciation.

Hmm? Just maybe that’s why there are so many clashes in the streets nowadays.

Random citizen: “Hey! There’s a penny on the sidewalk.”

Second random citizen: “Back off! I saw it first!”

Third random citizen: “That’s not a penny. That’s a NICKEL!”

Cue full on street riot to begin.

So not only has this year affected the metals being produced at the mint, but now there’s an aluminum shortage. Does that mean there’s less aluminum foil? No biggie. I

can always get away with using baggies or plastic wrap. Besides, isn’t that what Tupperware is for? Not a huge problem…

What’s that? Aluminum cans are in short supply too. Therefore cans of my favorite soda may be in short supply, therefore people will start stock piling them like a repeat of the great toilet paper shortage of 2020!

Excuse me…I have to get down to my local grocery store. Something tells me there’s a lineup already!

Cindy Moore is the mother of three superlative kids, servant of two self-indulgent felines and wife to one nifty husband. Her ficticious occupation? Archeological Humorist: someone who unearths absurdity and hilarity in strange and unusual places including public restrooms, the lint filter, and church meetings. Most recently, she excavated a find in her neighbor’s bird feeder.

The car’s trip computer told tous. The same folks that came me I had spent 38 hours and 25 minutes driving during the previous five-day period across the Rocky Mountain States to the Pacific Northwest, and back home. Of those hours, roughly three Where there’s smoke, there’s fire here to escape the urban jungle seem determined to make this area just as uninhabitable as the places from where they came. On the plus side of the ledger, most people are reawere spent under cloud cover. The sonably intelligent and behave other 35-plus hours were spent accordingly. And so far no one travelling under a relentless sun has been hurt, and no structhat has baked the western United tures have been damaged. States brown. Here in the neighborhood,

Virtually all the vegetation was we’re doing what we can to get brown unless well-irrigated. The through it. A big tree-removal leaves on trees were shriveling campaign earlier in the year and turning brown. Grasses and was very effective at creating bushes were of a similar parched, fire breaks along our formerlydusty earth-tone. Even the sky overgrown roads. Our irrigawas brown from blowing dust and tion water is still flowing desmoke from wildfires, sparked by spite the exceptional drought, lightning, electrical problems and and everyone keeps fire extinhuman carelessness. guishers on hand. A new fire

Overheated vehicles were regusiren was installed on a utility lar fixtures parked on the roadside pole which, with luck, will never with the hoods up, and frustrated need to be activated. None of owners on phones summoning these measures had been takhelp. Seeing a tow truck broken en two years ago when a large down on the shoulder in a similar wildfire erupted in a different state made me feel grateful that area nearby. Now that we’ve my car ran without a hiccup. seen first-hand what that pos

Arriving home after my long ALWAYS AN ADVENTURE sibility looks like, tree-cutting journey, the heat and lack of moisture here in the mountains is “outBY AVALANCHE and the efficient use of water are high on everyone’s list of side of 1979-2019 climatology,” priorities. in the appropriately dry words of a Lots of residents are loading recent NOAA forecast discussion. Formerly lush landscapes are up trailers and campers should the need to evacuate come to pass. shriveled and parched, despite regular watering. 95 degrees with This brings up the inevitable debate about what is important to 13 percent humidity is not conducive to better lawn and gardens. keep and what we could live without. Unpleasant discussions are It is however, horribly efficient for driving wildfires. held, and difficult judgments are made, with the hope that our

There were three wildfires generating lots of smoke along my efforts will not be necessary. We’re fortunate to have that luxury; way home. Two are continuing to burn and grow two weeks later. some of our friends lost a home two years ago to a rapidly moving Another has erupted along the interstate highway just 20 miles wildfire, escaping with only the clothes on their backs. away. It raced up canyon walls and jumped to both sides of the Much of this is old-hat to those who’ve lived with high fire danger river within hours of starting along the highway shoulder. It has for years. It’s only recently that our area has acquired the moniker grown to over 27,000 acres, with no containment. The temps are ‘California East.’ At some point, cooler and wetter weather will forecast to get even hotter over the next few days, with some dry arrive, and give us more time to prepare for and prevent the next thunderstorms in the mix for added excitement. round of smoke and flames.

Some days the smoke blows our way and our valley gets blanketed by clouds of the dense, acrid smelling fog, with visibility not much more than one mile. “Unsafe for sensitive groups” is the official jargon describing the air condition right now, which fluctuates from completely socked-in, to just very hazy.

The current fire is not likely to spread here; our main concern is that the slightest spark could start another blaze closer to home. Listening to police and fire scanner traffic highlights spectacular examples of stupidity. Despite the obvious smoke in the air, the closed Avalanche is a functional illiterate who left the St. Louis area three decades ago in search of adveninterstate highway and the region-wide well-publicized fire ban, ture. He enjoys motorcycling and all things outillegal campfires and negligent cigarette disposal remain ubiquidoors. He lives with his wife and dogs.