Summer Issue

MYMUSLIM

FOR THE WOMEN OF FAITH

& HONOR

MAGAZINE

IN THIS ISSUE:

Connect Your Heart To Allah MY HIJAB: The Most Beautiful Part of Me

PLUS: Budgeting Tips, Your Own Hair Mask, Recipes, Crafts, Reminders and MUCH MORE ...

HOW TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND PERFECT

Confessions of a

NIQABI

WEARING HIJAB

DIFFICULT?

I SPEAK FOR MYSELF

LETTER from the EDITOR This Issue is entitled “I speak for Myself”, which is aimed to be the voice of a Muslim Woman. It is aimed to be an inspiration and empowerment for all Muslim Women whether those who wear Hijab or not.

I pray this will be a reminder for all us women to be closer to Allah Almighty, to learn our Deen (religion), to practice and obey commands of Our Creator, because wearing Hijab is to prove your Love for Allah and to obey Him only.

I pray that all of us will be reminded to please the Creator only and not the creation.

Wearing Hijab can be difficult and challenging for many of us, but keep in mind it is also a test for the sincerity of your Faith and love for Allah Almighty.

Be proud of who you are and don’t let anyone make you feel down, because you are special, you are protected roses, and this protection is given to you by the Lord of the Worlds, all Supreme.

I hope this Issue will inspire and give strength to all Muslim Women to show their identity and show the world a beauty of being a Muslim Woman.

“...You are an individual with your own mind and personality....”

Sincerely, Aysha-Anastasia Izg

www.mymuslimveilmagazine.com

CONTENTS WELLNESS 05 Connect Your Heart to Allah

By Kelthum Bal-Fadhal

07 Spiritual Tips for Healing

By Kelthum Bal-Fadhal

VOICES 08 My Hijab: The Most Beautiful Part of Me

19

By Amatullah Rose

10 Wearing Hijab Difficult?

By Eliesa

INSPIRATIONS 12 Confessions of a Niqabi

By Sadaf Farooqi

MOTHERHOOD 15 Crochetting an Ummah

By Juli Herman

MARRIAGE 17 How to Make Your Husband Perfect

By Umm Aliyah 25

FAITH 19 10 Qualities loved by Allah

By Rania

MY MUSLIM VEIL

www.mymuslimveilmagazine.com

SUMMER ISSUE 2012

FAMILY

FAITH

21 Budgeting Tips for your Family

28 Being Grateful: Blessed and Blissful

By Natalja K

By Sadaf Farooqi

RECIPES

CONVERTS

23 At Talbina and its benefits

30 My Journey to Islam

By Kelthum Bal-Fadhal

By Fatimeh Hassan

BEAUTY

CRAFTS

25 Your Own Hair Mask

31 Summer Butterflies

By Hafsa Issa-Salwe

By Nida Mujahid

06

CONTRIBUTORS

32

WEBSITE www.mymuslimveilmagazine.com

PUBLISHER & FOUNDER Aysha-Anastasia Izg Aysha-Anastasia Izg

Writers for this Issue Sadaf Farooqi

CONTACT US aysha@mymuslimveilmagazine.com Info@mymuslimveilmagazine.com WRITE FOR US

Natalja K

Kelthum Bal-Fadhal

write@mymuslimveilmagazine.com SUBSCRIPTIONS

Rania

Not offered at this time

Julli Herman Hafsa Issa-Salwe

My Veil

By Umm Aaliyah

PO box 38645

Nida Mujahid

Germantown, TN 28183 GRAPHIC DESIGN

WWW.MYMUSLIMVEILMAGAZINE.COM

Aysha-Anastasia Izg

MY MUSLIM VEIL MY MUSLIM VEIL

www.mymuslimveilmagazine.com

SUMMER ISSUE 2012

Connect Your WELLNESS

Heart To Allah

WANT HEALING? Get it from the Source!

By Kelthum Bal-Fadhal

In this time of age where it looks like every possible hedonistic and sensualistic aspirations are to be realized people have never been so unhealthy and unhappy. Articles and blogs about alternative medicine, natural approaches to health and wellness and other “spiritual awakening” to deal with stress proliferate all over the Internet.

In a western culture that reads ‘scientifically’ based evidences with materialistic lenses; bringing a holistic approach to health and wellness where spirituality takes a central stage is often perceived with contempt… Well, it should not.

The Islamic perspective on health and wellness has always been one of balMY MUSLIM VEIL

ancing the soul-mind-body where the lack of balance would bring diseases and ailments.

Thus the stronger our connection to our Creator the greater the balance!

Thriving to live a life of spirituality where we thrive to please Allah will bring about the peace of mind and inner happiness that everyone seem to desperately look for. This won’t be achieved by aiming toward materialistic aspirations most of the time and spiritual ones the rest of the time if there are any time and energy left!

Discovering and experiencing our spirituality will be attained by following the precepts of the Quran and the guidance of the Sunnah of our beloved prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

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Allah Almighty said: "And We send down of the Quran, that which is a healing and a mercy to the believers, and the unbelievers it causes not except loss.” (17: 82) Connect your heart to Allah: In order to connect yourself to our Creator your first and greatest resources are certainly your prayers or salah. By praying the five prayers of the day with concentration and sincerity, you release the burden of the soul and your heart gets connected to Him. There are enormous benefits to salah both spiritually and physically that we could never appreciate enough but we SUMMER ISSUE 2012

can certainly mention Dr Zaheer Rabeh’s book “Seeking cure from prayers” that shows how salah or prayers’ timing follow the physiological timing of the body.

Salah keep you away from evil deeds, dishonor and purify your heart as the Quran mentions: "Establish prayer, for prayer restrains from shameful and unjust deeds." (29:45) Building a close relationship to Allah is also accomplished by engaging in Quran reading and recitation daily, and meditating on its wisdom. A little each day is better than reciting a lot once in a while because it will keep you committed to reading Quran beside a busy schedule and will eventually become a habit.

proud.” (16:23)

Dawud.)

The ego or nafs ( soul) is the source behind the too many psychological and emotional distresses and pains.

Sorrow, regrets, vanity, resentment, jealousy, guilt, anger, grudge and other negative or repressed feelings and emotions often manifest in your life in the form of mental and physical ailments when not dealt in a constructive manner.

When tested by Allah Almighty in your health, wealth, family, status and relationships; it can either strengthen or weaken your faith. Accept those tests with humility and patience but never feel self-pity, or resent those tests; as this will make your ego stronger therefore dampening your Iman (Faith).

“Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil) but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere.”

(2:155)

Islam preaches for forgiveness, patience and humility by contemplating and pondering over Allah’s Commandments in the Quran and the teaching of Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) which ultimately brings healing and inner peace.

“Verily Allah raises nations by this book (the Qur’an) and puts down (i.e. destroys) others by it.” (Muslim) In the book of the Prophetic Medicine is said “The heart become well when it acquires knowledge of its Lord and Creator and in his Names, Attributes, Actions and Commandments....while avoiding His prohibitions and what may displeases Him”.

Furthermore the connection between the well-being of your heart and your overall health is explained in this hadith.

"There is a piece of flesh in the body if it becomes good (reformed) the whole body becomes good but if it gets spoilt the whole body gets spoilt and that is the heart." Sahih Bukhari Tackling your ego and healing.

“Pride is dissatisfaction with the truth, and belittling the people.” (Sahih Muslim ) Through these short words, our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) gave a deep and comprehensive description of ego.

And Allah’s loath of an ego inclining toward evilness is mentioned numerous times in the Quran.

“Indeed, He does not love the

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Allah says; “Seek help with patience and prayer: it is indeed hard, except to those who are humble.” (2: 45) Therefore, don’t archive your negative memories and the hurt you have experienced! Don’t keep grudge and grow ill feelings toward those who have wronged you. Let go of the grief and sorrow; practice remembrance/ dhikr of Allah continuously and remind yourself of the reward of Allah when you choose to forgive and let go: “The gates of Jannah (Paradise) will be opened on Mondays and on Thursdays, and every servant of Allah who associates nothing with Allah will be forgiven, except for the man who has a grudge against his brother. About them it will be said, ‘Delay these two until they are reconciled. Delay these two until they are reconciled. Delay these two until they are reconciled.”

(Sahih Muslim, Malik and abu

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Often forgiveness is seen as this grandiose act of generosity when in reality it could be interpreted as a decision with rather a selfish endeavor: it is a decision that benefits YOUR faith, YOUR physical health and YOUR psychological well-being! Dealing with the major stress factors in your life IS by far the second most important step you need to take to restore and balance your health! But being able to forgive and letting go of those negative emotions and thoughts are tasks only a ‘deflated’ ego will allow you to overtake. The consequences of pride are not only destructive in this life but might bring upon you the ultimate lost as Allah says: “So enter the gates of Hell to dwell therein. Indeed evil is the abode of the proud.” (16:29) Finally keep in mind and in your own paradigm that whatever hardship you have faced it is already written as it is the Will of Allah!

“No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but it is inscribed in the Book of Decrees (Al Lawh Al Mahfooz) before We bring it into existence. Verily, that is easy for Allah.”

This leaves you with essentially two choices: the chance to practice patience and show your love and trust to Allah or spiritually rail against those difficulties in your existence and live with the consequences that this path will cause to occur…It is your freewill.

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SPIRITUAL TIPS FOR HEALING

By Kelthum Bal-Fadhal Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “There are three types of patience: firstly, practicing patience to fulfill the obligations and to do righteous; secondly, abstaining from evil and prohibited acts; and thirdly, practicing patience during times of hardship without complaints.”

erously - freely to others - with the intention of pleasing Allah is sadaqa. It can be as simple as a smile, or removing objects or trash from the road or path.

(Generosity does not lie in giving away something that is no longer wanted but in giving freely from the things we love or need in order to please Allah.)

6-Practice Dhikr/remembrance daily:

9- Fast voluntarily to seek the pleasure of Allah:

5-Practice patience: 1-Focus your Intention toward Allah Almighty only!

Strive to bring awareness of Allah Almighty to your life by constantly focusing your intention toward Him only. Whatever deeds you do, thoughts you mind and speech you speak is to connect yourself to Allah.

2- Practice Gratitude!

Because you do not attribute your ability to worldly causes, you know deep inside that you owe everything to Allah Almighty alone and thus avoid ascribing any associates to Him. If you tried to number Allah's blessings, you could never count them. Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (16:18)

3-Make Du’a (Supplication): Du’a is a great weapon for the believer. Ask Allah Almighty for shifa (healing) as He is The Healer (Al Shafi) and put your trust with Allah.

4-Make sincere repentance/tawba to Allah: Do not fear anyone and anything (any disease) but Him. Never despair of Allah’s mercy and forgiveness!

Truly, Allah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves.

(2:222) MY MUSLIM VEIL

In your mind, out loud practice dikhr, recite suras (chapters of Holy Quran): make it a habit so that is it Allah’s name that comes first in your heart and mind when you feel fear or joy.

Alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah, Asthaghfirullah ( I seek forgiveness from Allah), Subhanallah (Glory be to Allah), Allahu Akbar (Allah is the Greatest) must accompany your thoughts and speech.

7- Be optimistic!

Through illnesses and diseases Allah is testing you and the test is to change YOU. Allah tests those He loves.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When Allah desires good for someone, He tries him with hardships." (Sahih Bukhari)

8- Be generous: Give Zakaat. In Arabic, the term zakaat literally means purification of the heart.

Offer sadaqa (charity). Anything given gen-

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Fasting in general and voluntary fasting in particular is a great worship. Fasting is not restricted to Ramadhan. It is an act of worship that can draw you closer to Allah. It is also a great way to detoxify and cleanse your body and soul.

Abu Tharr Al-Ghefari said: "The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said "O Abu Tharr! if you fast three days of every month, then fast the 13th, the 14th and the 15th [these are call the al-ayaam albeedh, the white days]". (Sahih Ahmad, an-Nasaa'i and at-Tirmithi)

10- Smile, it is Sunnah!

And it is therapeutic too .

Connecting your heart to Allah with the enlightenment and true guidance of the Quran and Sunnah and practicing jihad al nafs (tackling the ego) is the ultimate way to wellness of the mind body and soul in this world and the Success and Happiness in the Hereafter.

SUMMER ISSUE 2012

By Amatullah Rose VOICES

As I thoughtfully gaze out of the window of my room, the beautiful and soft voice of the adhan (call to prayer) stirs me from my silent reverie. I hurry to perform my wudhu (ablution) and pray salah (prayer), although I feel sad to break from my moment of reflection, but I know that Allah always comes first before anything.

I remember that it was around the same time of the season – autumn, sad, but beautiful with its multi-coloured leaves falling on the ground – that I was still lost and did not know which way to go.

But Allah is the One Who is the Most Merciful, and He is the One and Only Who continues to guide mankind toward the right path and towards Himself. Although I was born in a Muslim family, I had never prayed salah, been to the masjid (mosque), or worn the hijab (headscarf) So in a similar moment, as I was looking outside the window and reflecting over my life and my purpose here in this dunya (worldly life), I suddenly noticed a sister beauti-

fully covered with hijab amidst the traffic and bustle of the city.

As I recall from that time, a few years ago, it was quite rare to see a Muslimah covered properly with hijab, even though our city is predominantly Muslim.

This sister looked so beautiful and modest in her white hijab, carefully wrapped over her head with the lowered end of her scarf over her shoulders, that I thought: Ya Allah, how beautiful is this Islamic cloth? I have never seen anything more beautiful in my life!

ered myself, I felt shy to do so. However, in that very moment that I was going to turn my head away to another direction, my kind Muslim sister smiled to me and called out to me, “Salaam.”

Days passed by, but the image of that sister in hijab from our train station refused to leave my mind. I would watch out for sisters at my school, on the street, in the market, as they would pass happily and beautifully

The message that this cloth was conveying to me was the essence of modesty and the pinnacle of Muslim identity.

I wished to call out “Salaam” to her, but as I was not cov-

“...they would pass happily and beautifully wrapped in their hijabs; they all looked so beautiful and clean, like protected roses...” SUMMER ISSUE 2012 MY MUSLIM VEIL 8

wrapped in their hijabs; they all looked so beautiful and clean, like protected roses.

I thought: Is there anything more beautiful than this rose garden which is watered by iman (faith) and true belief in Allah? Although I was already dressing modestly, I still could not ignore the way men would look at me.

So I made du’a (supplication) to Allah: please protect me from these kind of lustful glances, because, ya Allah, I know that this

with dignity and everything else that it represents.

is wrong.

I would close my eyes and try to imagine what it would feel like, walking fully covered in hijab. I too would imagine myself smiling and happy like those sisters I saw daily. I thought how safe and secure I would feel, and that with every step I took, I would be in a state of ‘ibadah( worship) to Allah, and proudly proclaiming my belonging to the Deen( religion) of Allah. But when I would open my eyes again, I would see myself back where I was, still uncovered; but only Allah knows how great this yearning of my heart was…

I called out: Ya Allah, please help me so that one day, I too have enough courage and faith in You to cover, and that through it, I may be able to fulfill my iman (faith) and my identity as a Muslimah.

My heart was alone in making du’a( supplication), and I prayed to Allah that He help me to wear my Hijab

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Like Protected Roses 9

“Insha’Allah (God willing),” I thought to myself.

Alhamdulillah (Praise and thanks be to Allah) a hundred times over, that Allah accepted my du’as (supplications). He is the the Only Rabb (Sustainer), and He is sufficient for His Servants who put their trust only in Him. The day I covered myself with hijab was the happiest day of my life; and with the help of Allah, my family also happily accepted my decision and were very proud of me. My father told me, “Everything is more beautiful and has better value if it is covered and protected from strangers.”

I know that Allah hears every beat of my heart, and I know that when we honestly and truly rely only on Him, and make du’a and ask help only from Him, Allah will never leave us to ourselves.

“Allah (Alone) is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs (for us).” (3:173)

And now I get up with tears in my eyes and open an old wooden box near my bed, the contents of which I take out for my salah (prayer). This scarf, I bought only few days ago. It is so beautiful: emerald in color and silky to the touch.

Article was originally published by www.igotitcovered.org and is been republished with permission.

SUMMER ISSUE 2012

Wearing Hijab DIFFICULT?

By Eliesa

“...Why should others’ opinions matter regarding what you wear? Each one of us is an individual, with a unique mind and personality…”

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SUMMER ISSUE 2012

”Stay strong in what you are doing, especially if it is for the sake of Allah. Believe and accept it with your heart, not only your mind…”

You may believe that using a long piece of material to cover the hair and bosom is relatively easy from the outset. How much more different can it be really, than wearing any other piece of cloth?

But the reality is that it is indeed an amazingly difficult thing to do in some cases. There are numerous reasons for this apparent difficulty, but the main reason is usually in the mind of the wearer –a type of paranoia really.

Why should others’ opinions matter regarding what you wear? Each one of us is an individual, with a unique mind and personality. Then why is it that we let the thoughts and opinions of others get to us so much? We shouldn’t think about what people think, but rather focus on what Allah thinks and what pleases Him alone, and voila! The task becomes easy.

It really does. If you totally and entirely block out people’s opinions and do not let them effect you, it surely will be so much easier.

My own struggle with Hijab (headscarf) wasn’t because of what other people thought. I didn’t care. I personally don’t tend to follow any trends or the current fashion and I try not to let such things cloud my judgments. I am my own individual and have a right to express what I think, thus I should do so in the best way possible. Alhamdulilah (praise and thanks be to Allah) if I am in a crowd of people and I am considered the ‘odd’ one out, I do not consider this to be of any importance; these opinions are just that: opinions. Why should I let it affect me as an individual and my beliefs?

way. We shouldn’t be so influenced by these types of people, who in fact, will be dragging us down with them to destruction, may Allah save us from this.

My personal struggle wasn’t related to the opinions of people, but with my own father. The very place I should have received praise and encouragement is where I got the exact opposite. I was ridiculed, threatened, demeaned, ignored, verbally abused, bad-mouthed, belittled, and cursed even! It was one of the toughest things I had to go through, especially since I was actually standing up for the right thing. Being put through this test was indeed very difficult. How could I argue or even voice my reasons?

I could not.

I smiled and cried through it all. I felt humiliated, saddened, maddened, on the verge of giving up; it really felt as though I was in the thick of the storm, and this storm lasted a couple of years.

But Alhamdulilah (praise and thanks be to Allah), I remained steadfast in my decision, did not give up, did not give in.

The two years felt as though they would never end. But Alhamdulilah the storm eventually passed and there was light at the end of the tunnel.

Just by enduring this test, I realized it had made me stronger. This occurred at the beginning of my journey to Islam, from the time I decided to adhere to the way of life Allah has chosen. This change in my life was not easy to begin with, but it became the best and easiest choice I made, with the help of Allah, SubhanAllah (glory be to Allah).

Looking back, I am now actually thankful for this test. Maybe through my father’s actions towards me, I hopefully passed a test that will benefit me in the Hereafter InshaAllah (with Allah’s will).

At least, it helped me to become a stronger minded Muslim Alhamdulillah ( praise and thanks be to Allah).

My words of support would be: It is worth it. Allah puts those whom He loves through these trials. Do not lose hope. Stay strong in what you are doing, especially if it is for the sake of Allah The Most High. Believe and accept it with your heart, not only your mind and what you set out to achieve will become easier with the permission of Allah.

My motto for anybody in this situation is: Just do not care about what ‘people’ think. On the Day of Judgment, in front of Allah, that feeble excuse will hold no value and it will not help you in any Article was originally published by www.igotitcovered.org and is been republished with permission.

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CONFESSIONS Of a NIQABI

By Sadaf Farooqi

“...HER SILHOUETTE framed against the backdrop of the fading evening light, who had caught my attention as a teenager.”...who moved my heart in a way that I could henceforth never forget….”

“..But you know, sometimes Allah places a yearning in your heart that you can no longer ignore, and once I started it, I have never had any second thoughts, even if it is sometimes difficult….”

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“But why do you do niqab (face veil)?” a cute 7-year-old girl asks when she sees me try to take a sip from the straw in my tall glass of cold coffee from behind my niqab (face veil). “Why?” Why, indeed? At times, when I walk across the road in the bright sunlight, or cross glasswalled shops in a busy marketplace and catch a glimpse of my loosely-garbed figure, I catch myself reflecting upon my silhouette: a figurative “shadow”, so to speak, covered top to toe in flowing garments, with little more than my eyes, hands and parts of my feet visible.

At moments like these, I feel a sudden rush of gratitude towards my Creator for guiding me to modestly cover myself up like this. My mind then wanders down memory lane, to my life more than a decade ago, when it was a similarly dressed woman passing by me, her silhouette framed against the backdrop of the fading evening light, who had caught my attention as a teenager, making me ponder upon my own comparatively immodest persona as I gazed at her in awe, transfixed; who moved my heart in a way that I could henceforth never forget.

“Does my lipstick look too dark?” one of my friends had asked as she peered into the rearview mirror of her parked car. We had stopped at the store on the way to a girlfriend’s house for a get-together. As the three of us waited in the car, overdressed to the hilt for the schoolgirl party, a small group of men standing nearby gawked lustfully at us 17-year-olds, leering, snickering and making vulgar facial expressions. I tried to quell the guilt that welled up inside me, and I suddenly wished there was a barrier or a cover between us and them, to shield us from their vile gaze. I regretted having put on the bright lipstick and letting my untied hair cascade in loose curls over my shoulders, even though I knew I had done so only as a natural, feminine quest to “dress up” for a girls’ party.

And just at that moment, wrought with guilt, was when I saw her.

Wearing a graceful abaya and hijab that covered her from head to toe, the niqab pulled MY MUSLIM VEIL

gracefully across her face showing just her eyes, she glided across the road. I observed her for a few seconds, in awe and admiration. I then looked back at the men who were still gawking at us overdressed young tarts.

Not one of them even so much as raised an eye in her direction.

But she wouldn’t. She’d swallow her guilt and remain sitting with them, even though she loathed the company of most of the people in her so-called “friends” clique.

Welcome to the timeless dilemma faced by youth!

It was one of those life-changing moments. Thenceforth, outwardly I appeared and acted the same, but inside, I had changed forever. I just knew that I wanted to adhere to the Islamic dress code, even though I presumed that I would never be able to.

First as a teenager and then more so as a twenty year old, I sought respect from members of the opposite gender. I wished they would not stare at me or “check me out” when I moved around outside. From the moment I had turned thirteen, till I hit twenty-one, I found the lewd stares of guys and men disconcerting and downright demeaning.

Back in the car, overcome with shame and guilt, I suddenly pined to be able to take up hijab and niqab like that graceful lady, and felt so cheap and easy in comparison to her, because of being openly available for the world to leer at whenever I dressed up, especially since I was at an age that lies at the threshold of a woman’s youthful, feminine good looks.

When I visited my girlfriends’ homes, even their fathers and brothers would repeatedly approach us girls, trying to be friendly and cracking insipid jokes just to make us laugh. Even the portly, balding and rotund “Uncles” in my extended family, who used to ignore me as a child, now lavished unwelcome attention upon me at weddings and other family events.

Respect

I craved respect and honor. I wished every man would treat me like a lady, not eye candy or easy entertainment. Yes, that is the appropriate word: easy. Guys and men assumed they could look at me or talk to me as and when they wished.

Groups of girls and boys stand along classroom doorways and corridors; and hang out chatting on stairways, around tables in the cafeteria, or sitting crosslegged on the sprawling campus lawn.

Gossip, teacher-bashing, academics, exams, and the latest films or television programs are hot discussion topics. Peppered throughout the conversations are disguised flirtations, sly comments, underhandedly vulgar jokes, and mockery disguised as harmless teasing.

Sometimes, a guy would cross the line, and the whole group would

break

out in loud guffaws as the young girl who was the target of his jibe turned beetroot red with humiliation and self consciousness, lowering her gaze and wishing she could get up and leave that very instant.

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All praise to Allah, all of that has changed now that I wear the hijab and niqab.

The Difference I have a date with my childhood girlfriend at a local cafe where we have dined for years. As I get out of my car and enter the chic eatery, every man I pass by, from the random guys loitering on the street, to the doorman, to the manager and waiters inside, avert their gaze with respect.

“Assalamu alaikum,” says the doorman while looking at the floor, gallantly swerving the door extra-wide open for me.

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“Wa alaikum ussalam…,” I say in a business-like and somewhat gruff tone, looking straight ahead and walking on without as much as a second glance his way.

The same respect is shown by the manager as he points me towards a table, and the waiter as he hands me a menu card. Eyes of all men who interact with me remain averted; gazes lowered with respect. Even as waiters take my order, they do not look at me to make direct eye contact, except perhaps fleetingly when I explain what I’d like to order.

When I contrast the way the same men’s behavior changes as they interact with other ladies who enter the cafe, I marvel at the enormous power of this seemingly small piece of cloth that falls over my face.

Because, really, it is just the niqab that has made the whole difference. I could feel the enormous change in the way non-mahrum men interacted with me in public places the minute I started to cover my face, even though I was wearing the head cover and abaya since long before that.

They would step out of my way without my telling them to, or waiting for them to. They’d look elsewhere when talking to me, whether it was a male cousin at an Eid dinner party, or a salesman at a shop. They loose the flirtatious, non-serious demeanor and the lopsided, cocky smile the minute they need to interact with me. They hold doors open for me wider than needed.

“Why do you cover your face? It is not obligatory!” demand to know some sisters in my circle; those who tried it and gave up, as well as those who have yet not felt inclined to tread into this “masked” territory.

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“It is a gray area of fiqh. There are two opinions about niqab.”

“It scares away non-Muslims. It makes you a target of persecution, discrimination and racist attacks.”

“It stifles you, and impedes breathing.”

As they continue making such comments in my presence, something that has been happening throughout the past 11 years (ever since I started niqab), perhaps more as excuses for their not being able to do niqab, I smile as I ruefully shake my head at their so-called ‘logical reasoning’, my heart totally at rest with my decision to cover my face, comforted by the belief that I would not have it any other way. Yes, I would not remove this seemingly tedious and tiresome flap on my face even if someone paid me to do it!

Because when I started out on my faceveiling journey, I did it solely to earn the pleasure of Allah, because I knew that the wives of our beloved Prophet () and the women of the Ansar used to cover their faces (Sahih Al-Bukhari).

However, as I went along this sometimes thorny path, I started to marvel at the wonderful worldly benefits the face-veil brings to a Muslim woman. Just like we pray our daily salah solely for Allah’s pleasure, but eventually look forward to, and enjoy, the peace of mind and serenity of the soul that it helps us attain, so do I love the way my niqab automatically forces men to act respectfully and dignifiedly towards me, without my having to request them to.

At parties and gatherings, no one dares take my photograph (not even sisters), which is a great relief in the current age of photo-sharing via online social media, where tags instantaneously land your photos on the desktop and smartphone screens of numerous strangers all over the globe.

People avoid cracking vulgar and crass jokes in my presence, unlike when I used

to just cover my head. Last but not least, I can smile and grin silently when having an enjoyable conversation with my husband and children in public, knowing that none of the male onlookers around would take my grin the wrong way, simply because they cannot see it. Oh, and did I mention, I can wear bright lipstick when out and about just because I want to look good to myself, without feeling guilty that some lecher would take it as an invitation to flirt?

“Why do you wear niqab?” asks the innocent little 7-year-old girl. I look at her lovingly and pause to think carefully before responding.

“I do it, jaan, simply because I want to, not because of some fatwa or fiqhi ruling regarding it being obligatory or supererogatory. I resisted the urge to do it for as long as I could. But you know, sometimes Allah places a yearning in your heart that you can no longer ignore, and once I started it, I have never had any second thoughts, even if it is sometimes difficult.”

She smiles and nods, looking down at her ice cream. I smile too, because even if she cannot see my lips, I know that my smile reaches my eyes as a warm glow.

As I glance at my dark silhouette reflected upon the glass doors of shops when I move around in public, I wonder if some day, some where, some young girl will notice me walking past, and perhaps, just by looking at the way I carry myself and the way men lower their gaze and leave my path as I pass by, she will be moved to do something she never thought she would have the guts to do?

Because, believe me, young girls never forget those older women who inspire them in poignant moments of introspection and self-analysis that

14 SUMMER ISSUE 2012

MOTHERHOOD

CROCHETING AN UMMAH (Nation)

By Juli Herman As I maneuver my crochet hook over the taut yarn, pull it through the loops, and form yet another double crochet stitch on my baby blanket in progress, I silently lament the unevenness of my stitches.

Some are loose, some are tight and some are just nice. I stop crocheting and look the blanket over, laying it on the couch. It appears fine. The loose, tight, and perfect stitches seem to blend together nicely. I can’t tell one loose stitch from one MY MUSLIM VEIL

tight stitch unless I scrutinize each stitch, though after looking it over for a while, I am able to spot the imperfections. Not willing to undo my work and start over, I sigh, pick it up, and continue my hook and pull motions, adding more ‘garden variety’ stitches into my first ever crocheted baby blanket.

Parenting is very much like crocheting. The first crocheted piece will generally be full of imperfections and mistakes. My mother says “The

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first child is the guinea, that’s where most mistakes are made by the parents.”

As a first child, I have to agree. I think of my daughter, my first child. She is my first ‘crocheted’ piece. There are a lot of too tight and some very loose stitches in that piece. I was a young, inexperienced mother when she came along.

Everything was new, and a lot of parenting was by trial and error. Though the piece has grown to a considerable size SUMMER ISSUE 2012

now, I suppose it looks fine, but upon closer scrutiny, one can probably pick out the imperfections; the tight stitches pulling the overall piece one way, and the loose stitches making up for that pull. Whatever mistakes I made in parenting her, I have tried to correct, but just like crocheting, sometimes, you don’t realize you have made a mistake in the first row after you have stitched the tenth row, and so you have to live with that mistake.

With subsequent children, skills improve, and wisdom “...But being in choice of colors Muslims, we and hook size are have to rebound to deepen. member that No longer do you guidance is in struggle to create each stitch as you the hands of did the first time.

Allah. He is the changer of Your fingers are more nimble, and hearts and you might even be thus, our chilable to crochet dren’s guidwith your eyes closed! Ok, maybe ance is in His not, but at least hands…” you won’t have glaring holes as a result of very loose stitches, or skewed edges.

Just like crocheting, parenting involves a lot of experimenting. You try new stitches, thinking they look cool, and sometimes that particular stitch turns out to be too much of a hassle and you try another kind of stitch. You try some endorsed parenting methods, especially if you are trying to break a cycle of “Because I told you so,” from your own

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childhood experiences. Some methods might sit well with you and your children, some might not, just like the many variations of crochet stitches.

In crochet, you need to be aware of your work in progress so you can undo imperfect stitches and redo them as soon as they happen. So too with parenting. It takes self awareness to realize that you should have spent some time answering your five yearold’s curious questions rather than brushing her off curtly. Unfortunately, some parents move on with no awareness whatsoever and repeat the mistakes over a period of years, never realizing them until they have a crocheted piece in progress that is horribly skewed. No amount of pulling, straightening, or easing would fix it. In that case, it would take a lot of work to undo those stitches and rectify them.

This is where the task of crocheting, I mean, parenting, splits between you and Allah.

While parents do all they can to give proper tarbiyyah (upbringing) to their children, the end result is not directly correlated to their effort. Allah may test them with their children. It’s a humbling experience when I began to realize that despite my effort, or despite my mistakes, Allah’s mercy and wisdom can land me with either unexpected skewed stitches or perfect rows.

So many parenting methods give you the feeling that if you do this, your children will behave this way or that way. But being Muslims, we have to remember that guidance is in the hands of Allah.

He is the changer of hearts and thus, our children’s guidance is in

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His hands. We can only convey.

We can only continue to stitch with persistence, patience, and joy. Sometimes, you will be tested in that the good girl you have raised and educated throughout the years suddenly takes off her hijab and starts to hang out with less than good company, breaking your heart in the process. You advise her, and continue to advise her and it gets very challenging because she is already an adult. You can only do so much. Yet, take solace in making du’a (supplication) for her, and hope that she is turned back to Allah’s path and dies in the highest state of iman (faith), even if this happens long after you are gone.

As parents, we have the honor and responsibility of producing wonderfully crocheted pieces to add to other crocheted pieces in the world. As mothers, we have the honor and responsibility of working closely and directly with the hook and yarn.

As Muslim mothers, we have the honor and blessing of immersing in each stitch, the manners and teachings of the Prophet peace be upon him. The hand that crochets an individual Muslim, crochets the whole ummah (nation).

Juli Herman is a stay-athome homeschooling mother of three teenagers and one kindergartener.

Her ‘crocheted pieces’ are still in process. There are days when she wishes she could unravel and start all over again, and there are days when she is thankful for the results so far.

She occasionally blogs at juliherman.wordpress.com.

SUMMER ISSUE 2012

MARRIAGE

By Umm Aaliyah

HOW TO MAKE

YOUR HUSBAND PERFECT You have the ring on your finger, the nikah certificate somewhere safe and you’ve settled into being Mrs Married. But are you feeling a little deflated about married life?

Were you hoping it would be a whirlwind of romantic gestures and that you would be showered with gifts every day? Is your husband falling short of your expectations?

We often hear the phrase “a woman will always try to change a man”. Whilst this might not be true in every case, it is true a lot of the time. We never seem to be satisfied with what we have. But maybe it’s not that our husbands are falling short of the standards we are judging them by, but rather, our expectations are all wrong.

As practising Muslimahs we need to seek the best guidance when it comes to helping us lead the best lives. So, how have we been measuring how good our husbands are? Have we been considering the guidance in the Quran and Hadith – the authentic sources - to assess our spouses? Or have we been influenced by films, television and

romance novels?

What the Media Says: He should be showering you with lavish gifts Do the superficial, external gestures really matter when we get down to things? Of course every girl wants to be made to feel special but maybe a lack of gifts doesn’t mean he is not a good husband – maybe the way we think needs to be re-assessed. Where have we learned that receiving copious amounts of gifts means our husbands love us? Do we compete with our peers as to which of us receives the best presents?

Consider why material things make you happy and think about how long the after -glow of a gift lasts. At the end of the day – do gifts really make you happy?

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If you expect material gifts all the time, or demand expensive gifts or otherwise you are not happy, consider whether your heart is in need of repair and whether you need Islamic balance between the dunya (worldy life) and the deen (religion). The Prophet, peace be upon him, said to live in this life like travellers. Hundreds of Prada and Gucci handbags are definitely not practical accessories for a journey.

What the authentic sources say: “…the best of you are those among you who are best to their wives." [Tirmidhi].

Remember that material possessions are not the be all and end all. Flowers wilt, chocolates melt (and get eaten!) and jewellery won’t comfort your heart when you are sad. But your husband’s good treatment of you is a far more long-

lasting token of love. Consider the intangible gifts he gives you and place the value on them that they deserve. Think about how your husband treats you – is he attentive? Does he look after you, comfort you, and put up with your annoying habits? Ask yourself - what would you prefer; a husband who buys you everything you want or a husband who asks you about your day and really cares about the answer?

There’s nothing wrong with receiving – and giving – gifts to each other. "The messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, used to accept gifts and give gifts in return." [Bukhari]. Just make sure you appreciate anything he gives you – even if it is a daisy plucked out of the earth.

Why not give your husband material gifts now and again too. These don’t have to be expensive: the gift could be a homemade item or a token doesn’t cost much but reminds you of a joke you shared or a day out. Aim to be the one who is best to her husband in the way you treat him.

What the Media Says: He should be writing you love poetry Whilst love poems are great as they show time spent, care taken and are tangible tokens of affection – not to mention they are gestures that remind you of your favourite film and book heroines – on their own, they are not enough.

None of us are perfect wives with unlimited talents so is it fair that we expect our husbands to be good at everything? Some husbands may be fantastic poets and can express their love with beautiful words that melt your heart – but if your husband isn’t the most verbose then look for other signs that tell you how he feels.

If your husband doesn’t write you beautiful love poetry, don’t despair! Remember that husbands are all individual, just as wives are, and focus on the ways that he does show you his love.

What the authentic sources say: “…live with them [wives] on a footing of kindness and equity” [Noble Quran 4:19]

The Quran says the best husband is the one who is best to his wife and this is characterised by his kindness towards her. What are the ways your husband expresses his kindness towards you?

Does your husband ever look at you, perhaps with the utmost love, without saying a word? Perhaps he feeds you when he is eating, without you even having to ask, just because he wants to share? Perhaps he respects you and seeks your opinion on matters? These gestures hold more love than any poem could express. Are we being fair if our husbands don’t express their love in the form of love poetry when other things they do and say tell us everything we need to know? A poetic husband is nice but one who treats you with kindness and on an equitable basis, is even better.

What the Media Says: He should be whisking you away on romantic surprise holidays don’t waste your life comparing your marriage to a film where the man secretly plans a 5* holiday complete with private jet for the woman, and has even packed her suitcase, with every item she needs. Be realistic in your expectations and align them in accordance with what you know your husband is capable of.

Some men will be good at planning meticulously to arrange surprises and be good at grand gestures but some won’t.

Your husband may not be able to pull things off as perfectly as you have seen on television, where a script and a false world make everything seem perfect, but give him credit for any gestures that his abilities – and wallet – allow for.

You could also try organising a romantic surprise getaway yourself and remember that romance and thoughtful gestures work both ways. You might inspire him to plan a future trip himself!

What the authentic sources say: "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are Signs for those who re18

flect." [Qur'an 30:21] Allah SWT has made the risq (provision) levels of human beings vary from one another as a means to test us. Not all husbands can afford to take their wives on sun -drenched holidays to exotic climes and of those who can afford it, there will be many who do not think about romantic gestures like this or may have set their priorities a little differently. Discuss what your needs are – don’t make him guess and remember that balance in this world is the key to success in the next. Appreciate any gestures he does for you and if it isn’t a trip away, thank Allah for your husband’s consideration, however he may show it.

All of our husbands will do things that make our hearts happy so ignore the media’s portrayal of love – focus on the Islamic ones instead. The Prophet, peace be upon him, was reported to have said: 'On the Day of Judgment, God will not look upon the woman who has been ungrateful to her husband." When we consider those of us who are blessed with loving husbands, who are kind and caring and who treat us with equity, but who we respond to with by being angry, resentful or ungrateful –because they aren’t meeting our unfair expectations - we begin to understand this hadith.

When we look at descriptions of the Prophet, peace be upon him - who played games with his wives, spent time with his wives, showed kindness, affection and mercy to his wives - we can see what the perfect husband should look like in Islam.

This is a far cry from the lavish gift-giving, poetry writing and grand gesture-making husband that we often see or read about.

Don’t ignore your husband’s acts of love and kindness by pining for trivial things instead. This will only make your heart always feel unfulfilled and result in a bitter, resentful marriage. Consider your husband in light of the authentic sources and you may find that you have the perfect husband already.

10 QUALITIES FAITH

Loved by Allah

Surah Ahzab: Ayah 35 “ Indeed the Muslim men and the Muslim women, the believing men and the believing women, the obedient men and the obedient women, the truthful men and the truthful women, the patient men and the patient women, the humble men and the humble women, the charitable men and the charitable women, the men who fast and the women who fast, the men who guard their chastity and the women who guard their chastity, the men who remember Allah a lot and the women who remember Allah, Allah has promised them forgiveness and a great reward.�

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SUMMER ISSUE 2012

1. Being Muslim Muslim comes from the root salama, to submit. Islam literally means submission, and a Muslim is one who submits.

So when someone says he or she is a Muslim that means he or she submits to the will of Allah and he or she submits to His commands.

whatever has befallen him or her has come because Allah willed it to happen therefore it must be for the best.

6. Being Humble

A Mu’min is someone who really and truly believes in Allah as well His messengers and scriptures, along with all that which Allah has informed us about, including the Day of Judgment.

Khushu’ is the term mentioned in the ayah. It can be translated as humility but that doesn’t quite cover it. Khushu’ means to be afraid of something, to fear it because of having knowledge of that thing and thus become humble before it. For example, we recognize the greatness, might, power, ability of Allah swt and so we have fear, fear of disobeying Him and earning His punishment. As a result of that fear we are humble before Him.

3. Being Obedient

7. Being Charitable

The word Obedient does not truly cover the deep meaning that is included in the Arabic term: “Qunoot”. Qunoot is to be absolutely and completely devoted to the other, and obey his or her every command.

Sadaqah, charity, is giving to the poor and the needy. It is a quality that truly proves that a person prefers the reward of Allah over their wealth.

4. Being Truthful

Fasting is a deed that is beloved to Allah swt. As Muslims, we are commanded to fast the month of Ramadan from sunrise to sunset. Besides that, we should also strive to fast voluntary fasts to get more reward. Fasting should be a regular habit, not a chore that we must go through for only one month every year.

2. Believing

Truthfulness is a quality that is mentioned again and again in the Quran. It is an extremely important quality to have as a Muslim. First of all we must be truthful to our Lord when we say that we love Him and submit to Him by actually obeying Him. We must be truthful to other people in our speech. We must be truthful with our actions, and make sure they match our speech. We must be truthful to ourselves in pointing out our own mistakes.

5. Being Patient Patience, sabr, means to control the nafs, the soul. It is something that may be difficult to achieve but we must strive for it and try our best, for the rewards are great. A believer should always be patient in any situation. The highest level of patience is Rida, to be pleased, satisfied, and content with what has happened. A believer can reach this level because he or she knows that MY MUSLIM VEIL

8. Fasting

9. Guarding one’s Chastity We as Muslims should guard our chastity and protect ourselves from zina, adultery.

Allah swt has made this easy for us to do if we obey His commands. He has given people, both men and women, the command to cover up. Another command given to facilitate the guarding of chastity is the command of lowering one’s gaze. By obeying these commands of Allah as well as others that He has ordained, we can keep ourselves away from committing sins. Allah swt created us and therefore He knows us best. Whatever He tells us to do is in our best interest. If Allah gives us some precautions to take, like lowering the gaze, to stay away from sin, we should 20

obey because He knows us best and He knows what can lead to the sins.

10. Remembering Allah much It is the constant remembrance of Allah that enables us to constantly obey Him. If we are always thinking of Him, then we should remember what it is that He wants us to do and what He wants us to stay away from. Remembering Allah swt constantly is what will enable us to do the above mentioned items, and have the above mentioned qualities.

Forgiveness and a Great Reward This is what is promised to those who do what is mentioned above, forgiveness and a great reward. Forgiveness is something all humans need because we are not perfect. We will make mistakes and we need to seek Allah’s mercy and forgiveness to be forgiven for them.

A great reward: the greatest reward is Jannah. Great reward comes in the hereafter. This world is limited and any reward that comes in it is temporary.

What is better is the reward in the hereafter that is eternal and not subjected to the limitations of this world. We should all strive for reward in the hereafter, even if it means giving up some immediate pleasure in this world. Because in reality, this world is nothing compared to the hereafter.

Conclusion I pray to Allah that He enables us to be of those who hear and obey so we can do the above mentioned action items.

When we learn of anything we should try to implement it right away. What are we waiting for? Death could approach us at any time whether we are ready for it or not. So, once we have learned of something Allah swt, our Creator, wants from us, we should hasten to do it right away inshaAllah.

SUMMER ISSUE 2012

“..I would like to share with you a few tips that will reduce your family’s spending. Remember, little saving here and there adds up to big savings…”

FAMILY

BUDGETING TIPS

By Natalja K I have never considered myself an extravagant spender, but it was not until I became a stay-athome mom, when I learned the art of really stretching a dollar. Saving your family money can be not only a rewarding activity, but you can turn it into never ending fun quest that will make you, your husband, and of course, your family’s valet very happy.

No, you don’t have to go dumpster diving for coupons, or engage in other questionable activities. You don’t have to go to the extremes, so friends permanently label you “cheap”. You just need to learn how to be thrifty, and use time and resources to your best advantage. In most of the scenarios, you do not even need to settle for less than you want – you can get exactly what you intended, just pay much less for it, and thus save money.

I would like to share with you a few tips that will reduce your family’s spending. Remember, little saving here and there adds up to big savings.

Groceries: Check weekly ad and match it up with coupons that come in your Sunday paper, Red Plum free magazine, local free coupon magazine, various online sites ( just google ). Many stores double

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FOR YOUR FAMILY

coupons that are 60 cents or less, some even triple – check your local store coupon policy.

If you shop earlier in the morning on a week day, you have higher chances to find marked down produce ( ex. They baked too much bread that day, or one apple out of the bag has a dent – no big deal, but it’s reduced sometimes up to 80% ). Sometimes stores mark down things that are closer to the expiration date than the store wants it to be – those are great buys if products are freezable. For example, breads, hummus dip, cheeses, certain vegetables freeze very well. When frozen, expo date goes on hold, so when you defrost it, the product is save to cook and eat.

Plan you meals so that you never have to throw away any leftovers. Pack them into the glass containers and freeze for late use.

If you have a product that you did not especially like, google to see if you can use it in some other recipe.

Old does not always mean trash. Older bananas, apples, peaches are great for baking sweet breads or making preserves.

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Health and Beauty: Coupons and drug store weekly specials will make you glad. Many times drug stores offer rebates, or something like “buy $10 worth of stuff and get $3 back in extra bucks” etc. When you pair those weekly deals with your coupons, you are literally, getting all your shampoos, soaps and toothpastes for pennies.

Product rebates and try-it-free offers can stock you up for a long time. Make sure you have extra copies of your receipts and claims filed away – companies often like to “loose” those offers in the mail.

Baby needs: Last time I checked, best diaper prices are on Amazon MOM – you have to subscribe to the products when they are on special.

Pediatrician offices give away free formula, don’t be shy to ask every time. One time I walked away with about 15 cans, because they said no one wanted them. Alhamdulillah I was blessed with a baby that took any formula I would offer to him.

Subscribe to Enfamil and Similac Strong Moms clubs to receive free formula and cou-

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pons in the mail.

It would not hurt to subscribe to newsletters from any baby company of your interest – they send valuable coupons all the time ( Ex. BabiesRus, baby clothing brands, baby food brands – google your favorites online and subscribe ).

I am not a fan of used baby items, because when you catch a sale with a coupon, you can get most brand new things for a price competitive to consignment & Garage sales, Craigslist, eBay. Some things, such as outdoor slides, or things you will only use a few times, are worth looking into at the above mentioned resources.

There is a lot of free or relatively free entertainment for the kids. Check out your local library for story/crafts time; explore all local parks with playgrounds, Home depot has crafts class on Saturdays. Follow your local Parents newspaper ( pick it up at most local stores in your city, if they have it) for announcements and events. Zoo, many galleries and nature centers often offer a free day for the families.

Retail/ clothes: Subscribe to your favorite retailer newsletters/ mail to receive store coupons. They all run promotions several times a year, study when the best sales take place. For example, you want to buy that cute dress from Macy’s, for, let’s say $25. Guess what – Macy’s often have coupon that reads $10 off your $25 purchase ( send via email ) So you would end up paying $15.

Buy gift cards to the store online. For example, many people on eBay are selling unwanted gift cards. Values of the gift cards vary, but they always end up being sold for a cheaper price than its value. Going back to

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Macy’s example : few days before going to the store, you will go to eBay, and purchase a gift card valued at $15, but because it’s auctioned off, you’ll probably pay for it about $10. Use this strategy with a coupon mentioned above and, here you go- you will get a $25 dress for $10 ( and if that dress happens to be on clearance, then you are just a supersaver!).

Buy summer clothes in the winter and winter in the summer. At change of seasons stores want to get rid of their inventory, so they mark things down.

Social/ gifts: After Christmas sales are my favorite for perfumes, beauty sets and house gifts. They are 50% or more off, so why not stock up?

Retailers such as Marshalls, TJ Max sometimes carry same stuff that Bed Bath and Beyond store does. Be mindful of prices, though, because some other times you can score a better deal at Bed Bath and Beyond if you use their 20% off coupon.

Gas: Check www.GasBuddy.com for gas prices around town.

Plan your trips wisely and don’t just drive around or go to the store for one thing. Make a trip that will take care of multiple businesses.

Educate yourself on latest special/freebies: www.dealnews.com www.shop4freebies.com www.1saleaday.com Google and follow other mom’s blogs on

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couponing and saving money – some blogs offer scenarios for on-going sales at a variety of stores ( they teach you how to pair up things with special & coupons to score free stuff ). There are so many of those, I found their info very useful many times.

At home job If you find you have a little more time and can make some $ from home – go for it!

List unwanted things on eBay. You can also do eBay as a business- let’s say you found something amazing on a huge clearance – list it on eBay and make some money. It works really well with latest electronics and things of high demand, brand name clothing ( Nike, Coach etc. ) Make professional photographs and sell them on stock photo websites.

Have a blog where you review products.

Many times companies contact bloggers with offering of their product to try for free and review.

Become an ambassador for your favorite company. I recently was selected to join CoffeeMate™ Brew Crew team where I do activities to promote their brand and in return get all sorts of perks and freebies from the company.

Saving money can be fun. If you go above and beyond, you will save your family a lot of money – money that can be spent on anything you otherwise would not be able to spend it on – a vacation, a charitable donation…the choice is yours ! Enjoy exploring your options and may Allah reward you for your efforts to save your family money.

SUMMER ISSUE 2012

AT TALBINA RECIPES

At talbina is an easy to make and healthy recipe from the Sunnah of the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

By Kelthum Bal-Fadhal At talbina is a soup made from ground barley with the bran that was used widely in the time of our Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) therefore mentioned in the book of the “Prophetic medicine” by Ibn Qay’em El-Jozeyah to give nourishment to the weak and to the sick.

In this book we can read: “ Whole grain barley soup digest quickly and provide good nutrition and cleanses the stomach when taken while it is still hot.” p149 “At-talbina gives rest to the heart of the patient and makes it active and relieves some of his sorrow and grief” (Sahih Bukhari).

Did you use white flour during the lifetime of the Prophet?” Sahl replied, “No.” Hazim asked, “Did you used to sift barley flour?” He said, “No, but we used to blow off the husk (of the barley)” (Sahih Bukhari).

Some historical facts about barley: Barley was widely used in Ancient time. Barley was one of the first domesticated grains in the Fertile Crescent which spans the land of present day Iraq, Syria, Occupied Palestine, Israel and Lebanon. Wild barley (H. vulgare ssp. spontaneum) ranges from North Africa and Crete in the west, to Tibet in the east. The earliest evidence of wild barley in an archeological context comes from the Epipaleolithic at Phalo II at the southern end of the Sea of Galilee (Wikipedia).

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Some nutritional facts about barley: According to the USDA Nutrient database, 100 g of raw Barley (3,5 oz) will provide you with: 15.6 Dietary fiber 9.9 Protein 29 mg calcium 79 mg magnesium 221 mg phosphorus 2.1 mg zinc It is also rich in copper, manganese, lutein and zeaxanthin. All these nutrients and antioxidants play an important role in your health. Selenium, for example, protects skin from free radical damage and improves the immune system.

Phosphorus is essential for proper formation of teeth and bones and corrects cell growth. Copper helps in the formation of red blood cells and hemoglobin.

Some of the health benefit of consuming barley: According to a recent study, eating whole grain barley can regulate blood sugar (i.e. reduce blood glucose response to a meal) for up to 10 hours after consumption compared to white or even whole-grain wheat, which has a similar glycemix index. The effect was attributed to colonic fermentation of indigestible carbohydrates. (Needless to mention how much benefit lies on the consumption of barley for people in your life who suffer health problems like diabetes.)

This whole grain is not only packed with vitamins, minerals and antioxidants, but it is also

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one of the richest sources of fiber, both soluble and insoluble. Insoluble fiber helps in the detoxification of the body, while soluble fiber attaches to fats to aid them in getting out of your body. And it is this fiber component that causes a delay in the stomach emptying therefore slowing down the body's absorption of carbohydrates from foods.

Furthermore, according to a study made by the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition in 2004, consuming diets with 3 to 6 grams of betaglucan soluble fiber (Beta-glucan, a form of fiber found in the body, is effective in lowering blood LDL cholesterol level or low-density lipoprotein commonly known as bad cholesterol) effectively reduces 6 to 8 percent of LDL cholesterol. Low cholesterol levels can help reduce the risks of other health problems like strokes.

Finally as mentioned in the book of the prophetic medicine; consuming barley soup help cleanses the body. It is now said that barley can help protect against certain form of cancer like colon cancer because of the dietary fiber it delivers providing the good bacteria that will (re-) colonize the colon and promote better functioning of the gut and therefore the overall health.

Last but not least, consuming barley will help you lose weight since it naturally controls your appetite (and cleanse fat)! You feel full faster and for a longer period.

I am sure you will find a good reason among this appealing display of benefits to add barley as a regular item in your grocery list!

SUMMER ISSUE 2012

Breakfast cereal with whole barley

At-Talbina

This is a meal that I make often for my family in the morning because it is satisfying, healthy and it keeps my family and myself full of energy until lunch time! It can also be prepared as another meal of the day or during Ramadhan for Suhr as it keep you full longer.

Here is one way to make At talbina:

First you will need to prepare the barley ahead of time to make the process easier as barley takes time to cook. You can either use a pressure cooker or a slow cooker.

½ cup of well ground barley (I use a coffee grinder) 3 cups water 1 tsp of sea salt ¼ cup of milk 1/3 cup of raw honey

If you use a slow cooker then pour in the same ingredient and program it in high for 3 hours and let it cook through the night for example.

Keep this cooked barley in a glass container and put it in the fridge you can use it as needed through the week.

For 3 to 5 persons: 3 cup of water ½ cinnamon ½ ground anise 3 cup of the cooked barley ⅓ cup of milk ⅓ cup honey 1 tbsp of organic coconut oil (or 2 tbsp of olive oil) Bring the water to a boil and add the spices. Then add the cooked barley and let it cook on medium to low heat for 7 to 10 min while stirring occasionally. At the end of the process add the milk and let boil for another minute or two. Off heat add the honey and oil and enjoy. You can toss on top of your bowl of barley cereal some nuts or dried fruits. Enjoy!

Pour the water with salt to a boil then add the ground barley. Mix with a whisker to dilute the barley into the water. When the liquid comes back to boiling reduce the heat and let it cook in low to medium heat for 45 min. Check and mix few times. At the end add the milk and off heat add the honey and eat the soup warm.

For more information on wellness and health from an Islamic perspective, more healthy tips and recipes please visit: shifa4u.com

If you use a pressure cooker to cook the barley you will need 1 cup of barley for 6 cup of water and a tsp of sea salt. Put it to cook on medium high heat and count 15-20 min after the whistle starts. Let it cool before opening the pressure cooker. Then add ½ cup of milk and let cook for another minute or two. Off heat add the honey, oil and enjoy.

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SUMMER ISSUE 2012

BEAUTY

Your Own Hair Mask

By Hafsa Issa-Salwe If only achieving perfect hair was possible at the click of a finger; picture perfect hair without the fuss and tears. I can’t tell you enough how many times I’ve tried to achieve the perfect hairstyle but to my dismay, it would end up a mess.

Although no one’s invented the whole ‘perfect hair at a click of a finger thing’, achieving great hair needn’t be diffi-

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cult. The key to great hair is keeping it in good condition as it’ll always look wrong if your hair’s damaged with split ends, frizzy and just a mess, no matter if you put hours of effort into perfecting it. Regular conditioning can prevent all of this as conditioning treatments are packed with ingredients that work wonders on your hair depending on your hairs needs, and they coat the strands of hair to

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keep it moisturised, hydrated and a plethora of other things such as protecting the colour of the hair, preventing sun damage and repairing heat damage.

Regardless of your budget, you can slather these deep treatments all over your locks at least once a week, and you’ll be seeing results as soon as you wash these out. Leaving the mask in your hair for a minimum of 1-2 hours ensures maximum results:

SUMMER ISSUE 2012

Splurge Macadamia Oil Deep Repair Mask The macadamia oil in the mask helps to repair the hair from all the harm we do to our hair including straightening, colouring and harsh styling. Consider this as a peace offering to your hair!

Middle Ground LUSH H’Suan Wen Hua Packed with balsamic vinegar, cinnamon leaf oil, bay leaf oil, banana, avocado, egg, rosemary and olive oil, this mask is a preshampoo treatment and will transform the most unruly of hair.

Budget Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Frizz Remedy Cheap but most definitely better than many of the other expensive frizz combating products out there. It also smells divine so, don’t eat it!

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SUMMER ISSUE 2012

You can also whip up a few of your own and sometimes nothing works best than using Allah’s ingredients! My two favourite homemade masks rival many of the hair masks I’ve purchased so don’t be afraid to experiment at home by mixing up your favourite oils and kitchen ingredients like honey. I always advise using existing hair conditioner as a base to my mixes and I’ll add a spoon of honey, a few drops of my favourite essential oil, some castor oil and the list goes on!

The most simple yet very trusty hair mask I make includes just three ingredients. Honey, olive oil and hair conditioner. Honey is a humectant which means it draws moisture towards the hair which is perfect for those with parched hair. The olive oil conditions the hair and because the mask is warm, the heat allows the oil and honey to penetrate the hair shaft leaving your hair even more moisturised than if you were to use it unheated:

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You’ll need:

and shinier:

1/3 cup of hair conditioner 1 tablespoon of honey 2 tablespoons of olive oil

You’ll need: 1/3 cup of hair conditioner 2 heaped tablespoons of coconut oil 2 tablespoons of coconut milk

Directions: Warm the conditioner in the microwave for no longer than 30 seconds.

Add the honey in first as it’ll be easier for the honey to melt into the warm conditioner.

Mix the olive oil in and make sure you’ve mixed all of the products thoroughly well.

My Coconutty Hair Masque, a mask I’d recommend to those with thicker hair only consists of hair conditioner, coconut oil and coconut milk. Coconut oil and milk are both rich in protein which is essential for preventing hair breakage, damage and will leave your hair thicker

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Directions: Add the coconut oil to the conditioner. Coconut oil tends to get quite hard under a particular temperature so if yours is hard, stir the oil around a little or run under hot water. However, make sure you don’t melt it and just use it when it’s not too hard but not runny either. You’ll get a nice fluffy consistency when you don’t melt it.

Then add the coconut milk but be careful to make sure that the mixture is not runny. It should be thick!

You might get a few lumps from the coconut oil as you didn’t melt it so if that’s the case just smooth them out with a spoon.

As nice as a finger clicking machine would be, you can get yourself gorgeous hair with these wonderful masks. Washing your hair has never been so fun. Now stop reading this and get to conditioning!

SUMMER ISSUE 2012

Being Grateful: Blessed and Blissful

By Sadaf Farooqi

REMINDERS

The glasses and crockery tinkle delicately as feminine giggles and pleasurable conversational banter pervade the festive air. Beverages and finger food are passed around as arriving guests take off their demure jilbabs and headscarves amid excited greetings and bear hugs. Girly parties are a delight for any woman who attends.

Her eyes furtively take in the glittering diamonds dangling from the ears of the chatty sister sitting next to her; the flashy touchscreen smartphone another sister across the room extracts from her branded leather tote, and the name printed boldly on the soles of the stylish suede ballet flats another sister takes off before treading on the plush carpet to enter the room.

Long after they have bid each other adieu and left for their homes, the beautiful imagery of the bling, glamor, silks, chiffons, rouge and leather dwindles in her mind. Her mood takes a downward plunge as she

directs her disdainful gaze on the sparse contents of her wardrobe. She can’t quite put a finger on what is causing her to feel dissatisfied, deprived, impoverished and so…unblessed.

“When will I have enough money to finally buy a smartphone?!” she asks herself irritably as she remembers how she was the only one in the room who could not take a photo from her gadget - a simple cellular phone model without a built-in camera.

Before she knows it, ungratefulness and ingratitude for the blessings of Allah unwittingly creep into her heart, and the malicious pangs of envy are beginning to undermine not just her faith but also her pleasure with Allah’s decree regarding her lot in life.

‘Greener Grass’ may lead to ‘Green Eyes’ There are moments like these in every believer’s life, when he encounters situations and people whose comparatively better-off

physical appearance, health, personality, success, financial position, popularity, or social status, makes them ungrateful to Allah, because they allow themselves to feel deprived and less blessed in comparison.

These differences, especially those in economic ranks and social class, have been put in place by Allah, the AllWise, Himself, as a test for us, and in order to make human society function smoothly so that all of its members are able to take work from one and another in return for wages.

Allah says in the Quran: “Is it they who would portion out the Mercy of your Lord?

It is We Who portion out between them their livelihood in the life of this world: and We raise some of them above others in ranks, so that some may command work from others. But the Mercy of your Lord is better than the (wealth) which they amass.” [43:32] Shukr and its kinds

“...being grateful means appreciating not just the bounties that we enjoy in our lives on a daily basis, but also thanking Allah for the tests, trials, difficulties and calamities that He sends our way….”

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SUMMER ISSUE 2012

It is interesting to ponder on the root meaning of the Arabic word shukr that is used to denote gratefulness and pleasure with what Allah has decreed for one’s sustenance. When used for a she-camel, the Arabic word “shakar” means that the she-camel’s udder abounded with milk after it had little milk, when she consumed a share of leguminous pasturage (Lane).

The word shukr implies threedimensional appreciation of the benefactor who has provided one with any kind of benefit: shukr of the heart or mind, shukr of the tongue, and shukr of the limbs or body.

The shukr of the heart and mind is denoted by being humble, lowly and submissive towards the benefactor, resulting in nothing but love and pleasant feelings for them.

The shukr of the tongue is depicted by praising, glorifying and verbally thanking the benefactor, as well as by mentioning or openly proclaiming the blessings that they have given to you.

Finally, the shukr of the limbs or the body is denoted by using them in complete submission, obedience and subservience to the approval and command of the benefactor, in the way the benefactor wants them to be used; not how they would dislike.

Media and Modernity Nowadays, it is easy to fall into two polarized extremes. One involves adopting such a consumeristic lifestyle and materialistic habits that one forgets about one’s acquisitions as soon as they come into one’s possession, to commence hot pursuit of the next object of desire, be it a newly launched brand, a seasonal fashion accessory, or the latest version of an app-loaded technological gadget. The acquisition, showing off and pursuit of material assets has now been blown further out of proportion by social media,

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smartphone technology, instant publishing, and online marketing.

Lying at the other extreme is extreme asceticism and denial of the permissible (halal) blessings that Allah has bestowed us with, to reach a negative mental state in which one dwells relentlessly upon the rampant misery, poverty, civil strife, oppression and anarchy in the world. This attitude makes one get sucked into a one-way, downward spiral of morbid thoughts, gloom and depression.

Being grateful falls somewhere perfectly in between - to maintain the optimum balance that does completely away with avarice, envy and greed; grants one an air of satisfied contentment and self-sufficiency, and makes one think constantly about, and mention to others, just how much Allah has blessed them in every way.

Remember those who have it worse….MUCH worse While we sleep at night in our homes on our warm beds, with a sense of peace and security, mentally reminding ourselves of the normal, everyday chores and errands we have to do the next day, such as the quick grocery run en route to the weekly Quran halaqah, a sister somewhere in the world is sitting on the ground with her head in her hands after having her home demolished by occupational forces in her homeland.

As we crib about the laundry pile getting too high, and the milk that our children drink not being organic enough, somewhere in the world, a sister is sobbing over the mangled corpse of her teenaged son who got caught in a crowd of protesters; was arrested, jailed and then tortured to death by pro-government law-enforcers.

And, as we worry that our parents pamper and spoil our children too much with gifts and attention, we should remember that somewhere in the world, a sister is hearing news over the phone of the death of her elderly parents in a massive flood back in her home country on the other side of the

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globe. With tears pouring down her cheeks, she wishes that she had cashed in on their presence more, treated them more kindly, visited them more often, and done more to make them happy while they were still alive and present in the world, worrying about her, loving her unconditionally, and wishing the best for her.

The loftiest shukr Shukr or being grateful means appreciating not just the bounties that we enjoy in our lives on a daily basis, but also thanking Allah for the tests, trials, difficulties and calamities that He sends our way. This is the loftiest form of shukr, which enables a believer to realize that even the calamities are good for him, because they give him a chance to beget forgiveness for his sins and to ascend loftier ranks of faith, adding good deeds to his account in the Akhirah.

What should one do when they feel ingratitude, or kufr - which is the opposite of shukr building up in their heart? The answer is simple: force yourself to remember how fortunate you are by listing all the blessings you have that others do not possess, even those that people would give their right arm to have.

Try to count your blessings - literally!

If it helps, make a list on a piece of paper, of all the blessings that you have, even those you take for granted, such as the ears with which you hear and the properly functioning brain cells and eyesight with which you are reading this article.

Once you begin to make this list, you will realize something magnanimous; something huge; something that Allah has already stated in the Quran: “If you would count up the favors of Allah, never would you be able to number them: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [16:18]

SUMMER ISSUE 2012

CONVERTS

My Journey to Islam

By Fatimeh Hassan My life had been one of neglect and abuse. My mother and I were never close, my presence was an inconvenience.

With that being said, I grew up hurt, angry and continually wondering what I had done so bad by being born. I was jealous over my friends with "happy normal families".

I desired to have a loving home and parents, but that never happened. The mental and emotional scars from years of abuse lingered on over my youth, teenage years and adulthood.

I was Mormon for many years and continued searching in other denominations the whole time, from one church to another, but nothing fulfilled my heart and soul.

I have never been able to accept Jesus (peace be to him) as god or even as the son of god. It has never made sense to me that the Creator needs assistance in the creation process or that anyone can have a godly state. I had many more questions and doubts about the absolute correctness of the bible, I always felt like at one time it may have been correct but then 'man' corrupted the writings. My own opinion.

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In CA I began working with Del Norte Clinics, Inc., it was the first time I knowingly was around Seik, Hindu and Muslims, the only thing I knew about Muslims was they fasted once a year for 30 days sunup to sundown.

My Seik friends took me to their Temple, everyone was so nice and polite, very accepting and kind. I just couldn't embrace more than one god.

One day I saw a Dr. in a white head scarf and a long modest dress, it felt like a magnet drawing me to her. Quietly I approached the Dr. and I asked about the scarf and dress, she said 'I am Muslim', and I asked if she could help me learn, this wonderful Dr. supplied me with books, CD's, DVD's, I knew immediately this was my destiny where I belonged.

I took my Shahadah (testimony of Faith) and have never regretted a moment, never have looked back, I am no longer searching for my place with GOD, I only search for more knowledge and wisdom to improve my deen (religion) and be a better Muslimah.

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What I didn't know was what would begin once I accepted Islam and felt my conviction to wear hijab, first; I lost all my family, was told by my mother " You are not Arab you are an American".

Second, I came to look for work here in Michigan and no one will hire me because I wear hijab. I have been without income for 11 months, but I cannot compromise what I know I should do. I have never stood up for anything so I fell for everything! Islam is the air I breathe and I cannot take my hijab off for any human. I never thought of this type of treatment by others because I have never seen any human for their color of skin, religion or culture. So my mind can not comprehend this mentality.

Since being Muslim and wearing hijab I am understanding just how much misunderstanding there is about Islam and its our duty as Muslims to spread the true message of Islam.

SUMMER ISSUE 2012

Summer Fun with Butterflies This is a fun craft for all ages, the possibilities are endless. With a simple technique learn how colors mix , patterns form and designs emerge ‌. just like a butterfly !

CRAFTS

1- You will need , cardstock , paint , puffy sticks , scissors and scotch tape.

3- Now fold the cardstock and press from the center outwards with your hands. Gently pull the paper apart , a beautiful butterfly will have formed. Let it dry.

By Nida Mujahid

2- Fold the cardstock into half and put dollops of paint on one half.

4- Cut out the butterfly .Use the puffy sticks to make feelers , stick them on the blank side of your butterfly. Use your creations to decorate your home , cards or presents. Have fun !