MyStoryUK “everybody has a story to tell”
Fragments of Amy
Fragments of Amy My first 22 years on the planet have been somewhat atypical. I have a condition that causes me to experience long blackouts and so just fragments of my life remain in my accessible memory. Pleasant Until I was 10 years old I am told my life ran smoothly, I don’t remember anything of my childhood but I am assured it was pleasant enough. Parents At around age 10 I became aware of my parents addictions. Both of my parents are addicts and their behaviour was to escalate as the years went on. I began smoking weed and drinking to cope with my home life, which was chaotic and disruptive.
OCD I developed OCD (obsessive窶田ompulsive disorder) and became depressive, self harming and paranoid. At age 15 I was admitted to hospital following a suicide attempt for 24 hours observation. I was discharged 13 months later, more unwell than when I arrived. Diagnosed Having been diagnosed with every mental illness from Psychosis to Anorexia, I was medicated heavily. I was sent to live with my father and my using continued to progress. I began smoking crack cocaine and practically moved out to live with friends who used heavily like I did.
Addictions My mother died suddenly as a consequence of her addiction and I spiralled out of control. Several hospital admissions later I got into a relationship with someone just like me. We used together for 2 years, being made homeless several times and eventually ending up living with my father. With no money we stole and lied to feed our addictions. Wanted to die At around age 18 I stopped eating completely. I was broken and wanted to die. I was admitted to hospital with severe physical consequences and several months later was placed in addiction treatment. I was discharged 6 months clean. I ended the relationship and started to rebuild my life.
Voice my truth Narcotics Anonymous had come into the treatment facility and I had begun attending meetings. At 2 years clean I relapsed, ended up using heroin and losing myself again. I repeated this a year later when I was 9 months clean. My relapses came from an unwillingness to let go of the past and being unable to voice my truth. Not a mistake I can afford to make again. Recovering I am now 100 days clean. I attend the New Hanbury Project and have been accepted to do a creative writing degree in September 2009. I live in a third stage treatment house with other recovering addicts and am grateful to be clean everyday. I continue to attend NA and work with a sponsor through the 12 steps.
I ask for help Life is better now than I ever thought it would be, things are still difficult but I know what to do about it now. I ask for help, show up, do the work and turn the results over to the universe. Smile and Laugh I can smile and laugh and allow myself to be the person I am. Slowly I am learning how to do what other people do naturally - have healthy relationships and be proud of themselves. Today I have a future.
Fragments of Amy Published by the MyStoryUK project written and drawn by Amy (New Hanbury Project) photo and design RodB the Spitalfields Crypt Trust www.sct.org.uk at the New Hanbury Project 020 7613 5636 3 Calvert Avenue London E2 7JP April 2009 RecoveryChannelUK@gmail.com lots of short films at YouTube RecoveryChannelUK online books at ISSUU MyStoryUK
Feel free to share this heartwarming story with your family and friends. For paper copies please contact Spitalfields Crypt Trust Janice Taylor 020 7613 5677 janice.taylor@sct.org.uk 116 - 118 Shoreditch High Street London E1 6JN.
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