MyStoryUK Stephen Mulcahy Jensen "School of Hard Knocks" by New Hanbury Project

“School of Hard Knocks” MyStoryUK “everybody has a story to tell”

Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

“School of Hard Knocks” The School of Hard Knocks 3 Ché Guevara’s legacy 4 Dad can dance 7 Guy 8 Happy New Year 11 Her boyfriend’s smelly feet 11 My Brother Paul 13 Ode to Eric 14 1789 17 The Ode of Seamus 19 The Roaring 20’s 20 The Walter Mitty (of the Black Country) 23 When Marvin met his match 24

MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

“The School of Hard Knocks” You can cope with life in the rain soaked cardboard box cause after all, you went to the school of hard knocks! You can just about cope with life in the tower block, cause after all, you come from the school of hard knocks. Its your first time in the Asylum, you’re in for a shock. But I’m sure you’ll be OK . . . cause you’ve been to the school of hard knocks. You’ve just been made redundant from the Clyde shipyard docks but I’m sure you’ll survive . . . cause you’re from the school of hard knocks! Everyone suffers in their own way but it builds character, so they say, and enables you to deal with what life throws your way and look forward to the better and more prosperous days. Yes, the school of hard knocks . . . sure as hell takes its toll, but it prepares you well and its good for the soul. The School of Hard Knocks. The School of Hard Knocks . . . . MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

“Ché Guevara’s legacy” A youthful Ché Guevara travelled across South America . . . on an “Edward Norton” motorbike, that kept breaking down. He learnt how to “tango” in some pretty little town and worked as a doctor at a leper colony, but he’s best remembered as a revolutionary. Sometimes, it’s not what we do, but what we are that makes people propel us to the status . . . of star! MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

Only legends make it on to t-shirts to be sold in market stalls. A new generation of Ché converts Emblematic of it all. Ché Guevara’s legacy - has never seemed more real. Ché Guevara’s legacy - the DVDs reveal . . . all you need to know about a hero. Ché Guevara’s legacy . . . Is all we need to set us free. Ché, you didn’t die in vain like other martyrs, we feel your pain. From Havana, to Argentina, graffiti artists - just could’t resist spraying your image on walls . . . to show their undying love for you. Intellectuals from Dublin to Rock Stars in Berlin keep your memory alive. But, Ché Guevara’s legacy is not one of poignancy, for, though, he died young, from his heart he sung . . . of defiance. From struggle and adversity comes Ché Guevara’s legacy, there for everyone to see . . . Ché Guevara’s legacy is important, you see, cause there’s more to the “Americas” than coffee and bananas. Ché Guevara, rest in peace. MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

“Dad can dance” “Boogie Wonderland” with all the dads in the land. Dad can dance, Dad can jive, “Staying Alive, Staying Alive.” “Big Daddy,” Shirley Crabtree, he’s a belly dancer, see. Watch Daddy oh! on the disco scene, “He’s the greatest dancer that I’ve ever seen.” Have you seen Dad shake it on the dance floor? And all this time, you wondered what the strobe lighting was for. Dad can dance, Dad can dance, like he’s got “ants in his pants.” One of the greatest times that he had was Boogie Woogie with his dad. Your Dad, he is the best dancer, I swear, with his gold medallion and fake chest hair! And Michael Flatley must be a dad cause his dancing ain’t half bad. River Dance, River Dance, River Dance, River Dance. Irish Dad’ll have a swig . . . of “Guinness” then do a jig. “Saturday Night Fever” “Saturday Night Fever” . . . with all the dads.

MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

“Guy” I bought a gorilla from a taxidermist, 400 quid - a bargain, I couldn’t resist. Guy, he don’t talk much, the strong, silent type, that Gorilla cost a lot to keep - don’t believe the hype. Guy won’t eat me out of house or home or go “Ape s**t” when he hears the phone. He loves his new surroundings - the humidity, and the rubber plants of the Conservatory! Then I moved him into the lounge so we could watch “King Kong”, then listen to “Banana-Rama” . . . though he don’t sing-a-long. The next day he simply couldn’t resist another video, “Gorillas in the Mist”. I quickly blocked the front doorway and the route to the fire escape cause I’d be so sad if he left with “The Planet of the Apes”. Though I love the big hairy fella . . . I have to say, he moves me to tears, cause he don’t eat his monkey nuts . . . and he ain’t moved for years. Guy, you’re the one I love most of all but you just sit there starin’ at the wall. I have to say, Guy, despite your faults, to have you as a friend, I’m chuffed, even though it would appear to me . . . that in fact, you are stuffed!

MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

“Happy New Year” *

*Abba song

This coming year I will pledge to listen to more “Sister Sledge”. And its my new year resolution To steer well clear of the Institutions. OK, I already broke that one in March, spent 10 days in the asylum!

“Her boyfriend’s smelly feet” Between the sheets you can’t be beat, just a shame ‘bout your smelly feet. With you, her other boyfriends can’t compete, just a shame ‘bout her current lover’s pongy feet. He’s a lion, so powerful in bed, but his smelly feet kill the ambience, stone dead! He’s charismatic and romantic, she couldn’t want another, but she has to put up with his stinkin’ feet under the covers. The flowers and chocolates he brings mean little or nothing cause his feet smell so much and even his sensitive touch makes no difference . . . the stench. significant. Next week it’s his 30th birthday, so she bought him odour eaters and shoe spray! Otherwise she’d have no choice, hear the anger in her voice as she’d send him on his way! Cause if she can’t sleep, he’d be the one to pay . . . . . MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

“My Brother Paul” My Brother Paul seems to have it all. He has a house in San Francisco, a good job and cable TV, you know. My Brother Paul eats runny cheese fondu and what’s more, he knows Kung Fu. He’s met Alice Cooper, too. He goes rock climbing to Yosamite after drinking loads of coffee. Still, got to the surface quicker . . . then fell off the top, plummeting faster than “Northern Rock” shares. His fall broken by a buxom blonde called Clare. I wish he would drive safer and wasn’t as keen on “Suzanne Vega.” My Brother Paul, took me to “Alcatraz” and used to live near a record shop sellin’ Jazz. He taught me “Ten Pin Bowling” in Milton Keynes. He’s got a boy called Ellis and a girl called Melody. His life seems to be full of perpetual Harmony. He even has a friend who owns a vineyard and he works in computers . . . so when times are hard . . . you understand, he won’t have to worry about the recession cause “Geeks” are always in demand. My brother Paul used to own a “Porsche,” the swine, how can he possibly be, a brother of mine with such good luck!

MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

“Ode to Eric” Just who is Eric Cantona, footballer, painter and film star? True legend of The Stretford End who soared like a seagull in the air, to nod home a Giggs cross while the goalie clutched thin air. What next for the man, who Kung Fu kicked a ‘Palace’ yob into Row J and had his name plastered across the tabloids the very next day. He, who stamped on John Moncur at a half empty Swindon Town, their horrid fans baying for blood - cause they knew they’re going down. This Gallic genius wouldn’t go amiss in any football hall of fame. At Old Trafford, they still sing his name. I’d have loved to see Eric as a “Match of the Day Pundit”. Boring Lineker can choke on his crisps! Eric, you’ve got it (charisma that is!) Or one day take the reins at Man U, but the “New York Cosmos” job beckoned too. What next for King Eric, a “Palme d’Or”, or a literary prize? Eric knows the score . . .

MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

“1789” Now guillotinin’ people may not seem nice, but the wicked aristocrats must pay the price to bring about Liberty and Freedom, a necessary Revolution. Seventeen Eighty Nine, just another moment of time, a chapter in a History Book. The Royal Scum’s goose must be cooked! They must answer for their heinous crimes. But Seventeen Eighty Nine’s now just a date in time. With Rulers come unfair laws and history defines a cause, if you treat people like rabble you should expect nothing but trouble. But Seventeen Eighty Nine’s Just one more riot in time. A topic of discussion in some “Left Bank” café Or a reason to head for London’s “West End” today and the problems of the poor won’t go away. So the Peasants live to fight another day and I hate that word, I really must say. Slaughter the oppressors, who get in our way. Seventeen Eighty Nine’s just a question on a quiz show cause it occurred such a long time ago. Seventeen Eighty Nine Just one more riot in time . . . “I’d rather die standing up than live on my knees.” * * famous quote MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

“The Ode of Seamus” Seamus, the builder from Ireland and a part time poet in England, his time was extremely well spent writing rhymin’ poems ‘bout cement, and scaffoldin’ when he wasn’t drinkin’ “Guiness” in the pubs of Kilburn . . . or waxin’ lyrical ‘bout Camden Town, with his hard hat and his U2 CD he never felt down. One day he boarded a “Ryanair” to Dublin’s fair city, he ignored the warnings of their appalling record of air safety. The luck of the Irish deserted him, you see, he drowned as the plane crashed into the sea. Seamus, oh, Seamus . . . should have flown “Aer Lingus!”

MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

“The Roaring 20’s” “The Roaring Twenties, The Roaring Twenties”. Just before the great recession of the Thirties, when times were really hard and all there was to eat was lard! (O.K. I made that bit up.) And rationing came in in “39” but in the “20’s” they were having a great time dancing to the tunes of “Irving Berlin”, men at the bar downing tonic and gin. Immediately after the 1st World War, a prosperity England hadn’t known before and everyone took to the Dance Floor to the tunes of “Irving Berlin”, men at the bar downing tonic and gin. “The Roaring Twenties, The Roaring Twenties”. When it was so cheap to go to the movies, football was still a working class game and Percy, a common man’s name. Back in the days when “Jaguar” was still primarily an English car, now the parts come from Japan, they tell me. Oh! for the Glory Days of “The Roaring Twenties”, New York, London, Paris, Berlin. Men at the bar downing tonic and gin, Dancin’ to the tunes of Scott Joplin. My adoptive parents, Desmond and Sylvia, were born during “The Roaring Twenties” Era. “The Roaring Twenties” like the Fifties, when MacMillan said, “We’d never had it so good!” MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

Some people would live in a time machine, if they could, The Swinging Sixties, The Super Seventies, The Affluent Fifties and The Roaring Twenties. The Art Deco Movement so vital and important. “The Roaring 20‘s, The Roaring 20’s”.

MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

“The Walter Mitty (of the Black Country)” His life was one long fantasy. He told his pals how he reached ecstasy with Kelly Brook on a high speed train and scored a hat trick at Wembley once, in the rain. He also claimed to have downed cocktails with a billionaire on his yacht in Cornwall when, in reality, he drove a number Ten bus on the roads of Wallsall. The “Walter Mitty” of the “Black Country” But no-one falls for your buls**t! When a gang of seven converged on you you battered them all with a snooker cue, Of course you did Walter . . . The “Walter Mitty” of the “Black Country” can play jazz piano, the drums, the trombone, spanish classical guitar and the saxophone, can speak fluent Japanese. Walter, dear Walter, this behaviour must cease. The “Walter Mitty” of Wallsall has seen and done it all, from expert swordsman to “James Bond” stuntman. Walter Mitty, Walter Mitty, when will your nonsense end? You’re not a hero at all, just a dreamer with no friends! MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

“When Marvin met his match” The legend Marvin Hagler went to Australia. He drove off the beaten track ended up bein’ shown ‘round the outback by an Aborigine one hot afternoon who told him he’d meet his match soon . . . in the form of a boxing kangaroo called Billy. After 5 rounds, he made Marvin look extremely silly, quite a battering Marvin did take. His cornerman said, “Comin’ here was a mistake.” But Marvin, in a moment of clarity said, “I don’t mind losin’, cause its all for charity and this is a great country, with fantastic scenery and great bars, line up the “Castlemaine” . . . The great taste of “Vegemite” I can’t explain, but it may be a while ‘til I come back again,” as he nurses a cut eye on the “Qantas” plane . . .

MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

Published by MyStoryUK drawings & poems by Stephen Mulcahy Jensen (Hanbury) design and photo RodB the Spitalfields Crypt Trust www.sct.org.uk and the New Hanbury Project 020 7613 5636 3 Calvert Avenue London E2 7JP September 2011 RecoveryChannelUK@gmail.com

There are lots of short films on YouTube RecoveryChannelUK and more online books at ISSUU MyStoryUK

Feel free to share this heartmoving book with your family and friends. For paper copies please contact Spitalfields Crypt Trust Janice Taylor 020 7613 5677 janice.taylor@sct.org.uk 116 - 118 Shoreditch High Street London E1 6JN.

MyStoryUK “School of Hard Knocks” Stephen Mulcahy Jensen

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