Fabulize your 50's

Fabulize your 50's

5 Tips For Fabulous Women 50+

By C.D. Carter

Table of contents THE DATING GAME I OWE SO OFF TO WORK I GO FOOD IS MY FRIEND I LIKE YOUR STYLE GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!!

Inspiration

C. D. Carter has been a driving force, as far as her career goes. She has always been a "dreamer" spending her free time using her creative abilities to succeed. "CD" had a flourishing successful concierge clientele in the beauty industry for 30 years. She attributes her winning way to her mother who always groomed her to be a strong independent force to be reckoned with. "CD" recognized that entering a new chapter in her life, her 50s, brought on a plethora of emotions, actions, and issues. After continually learning things the hard way she ventured out to embark on a journey that will be life-changing. "Facing 50's" takes a totalitarian approach to all things 50's to provide that insight for women approaching that milestone and those who sit inside of it. She credits strong women in her life, who are mothers, daughters, friends, family, and special relationships that have organically blossomed. Mallori, Mom you have my heart.

C.D. Carter

The Dating Game

If you are single and 50 something, intimate relationships seem like an episode of The Dating Game, and not in a good way, and the challenges are just as great. There can be a number of unspoken topics, because no one wants to admit that they're having issues developing, maintaining, and blossoming a long-lasting connection with a significant other. It is a silent and secret world a lot of women are in their 50’s with no one to confide in face every day. Usually, your married friends can't relate because they have someone. Or there are those that say, "You're being too picky", "Having a piece of man or woman is better than having no one at all" and "You're gonna grow old, all by yourself. Wow! That's hurtful. No one chooses to be alone. You are already insecure, afraid, you lack confidence or even worse many will just settle into a comfortable toxic relationship. It is better to deal with the Devil you know than the one you don't. What happens next is not pretty.

Usually, what happens is you will transfer those insecurities into other areas of your life: comfort eating, being a workaholic, shopaholic, and most devastating is becoming an alcoholic or doing drugs. All is not lost. Here are a few things that can help you shake the dust off.

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The Dating Game Three Tips To Consider: 1. Do something fearless!

Go get a makeover and do one of those Fierce photoshoots. Set up a new Facebook page with your new pictures and your new Alter Ego and slowly but surely elevate your new you!

2. Try virtual speed dating.

Since the pandemic has limited the dating space. Set up several zooms, or other types of meetings and spend five minutes with each candidate, asking the deal-breaker questions.

Women usually know if we like someone within the first five minutes so don't waste your time, go with your instinct.

3. This is an oldie but goodie.

Start a new hobby that would attract your type of mate. Don't be shy because when we are confident people take notice.

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I OWE SO OFF TO WORK I GO

No one really understands the concept that keeps 50 something women up at night, as it relates to their careers. It's called ageism. You've worked hard to foster work relationships, network with the appropriate people, get the certifications you need and when that new position is available, lo and behold, someone who could be your child's age gets championed into your deserved position. Usually, it's a younger man who one-ups you. So, it's a double gut punch.

You're being discriminated against because you're older and you're a female and what you look like could also be a deal-breaker.

If you're juicier than most then there is the third bias, sizeism. So even if you know more than the other people and have done the job for the last 10 years without the pay, or title, someone else gets the prize. But you can't quit. Or can you? Historically, 50 somethings are from the end of the baby boomer to the beginning of Generation X. We grew up believing that you work hard, you work your way up, put in your time, you learn the job and still you get nothing but frustration. You have bills, children, health issues, and you need your stable pay & insurance to protect you. What adds insult to injury is women are the worst against other women. Baby Boomers are ready to wind it down so you would think they would look to mentor you to carry the torch. Not!! There is a mean girl resurgence crippling corporate America.

How many of you had bad bosses? How many of you are bad bosses, let's keep it real? Women are among the biggest culprits in the destruction of careers of other women. Why is that? It deals with those coming of age thinking that no one should no more than they do. Let's stop doing this to each other. The next generation doesn't deserve that besides, you can't blossom if you're holding someone else back. The name is Karma. If you are the victim and believe me, you are made to feel like a victim you have to stop the cycle. This is your time to shine. First, make sure you talk to a professional or a support group. This is essential. This will give you the answers to questions you don't know to ask. The damage has already occurred, and it needs to be mitigated to get a fresh start.

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I OWE SO OFF TO WORK I GO

Three Tips To Consider:

1. Make sure you talk to a professional or a support group.

This is essential. This will give you the answers to questions you don't know to ask. The damage has already occurred, and it needs to be mitigated in order to get a fresh start. You have to get unstuck. Anxiety and depression are different for everyone so it's unrecognizable to the host and a great counselor will help you identify what you need to progress forward in all areas of your life.

2. Establish a financial plan.

Set your target goals, for example, paying off your bills. Calculate how much per month that you'll need to make and meet that goal. Find resources such as YouTube, Facebook, and others to find work-from-home jobs. Some of these jobs pay great, good benefits, flexibility, reimbursement of tuition and some even offer equipment setup as part of the job. When you dread going to work or biting everyone's head off, it's time to move on. Your job is getting in the way of your career.

3. Start your own business

It's time. You have to step out on faith. You say, "I don't know what to do", "I don't know what business to start. That is not important, seek like-minded ladies, tap into resources that they have available to you and you'll find it's easier than you think. You can be your own boss. Get a coach or mentor and have them to walk you through the process. Now, it’s time to Fly!!!

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FOOD IS MY FRIEND

Now when it comes to food, I don’t have any willpower and I love a great presentation. So I decided to reach out to a good friend and major foodie. Desiare Duplechan aka Foodieondutytx. She is all over Facebook, Instagram and even recently started a podcast with the same name. Daily we are bombarded with super thin or women that have made the choice to surgically enhance their bodies.

Let me say there is nothing wrong with someone getting the nip/tuck if that is what makes you happy and I underline YOU. But if you are like me and want to stay all natural then you may have to modify what and how much you eat, and that’s not just for physical appearance but as we age, we are more susceptible to health issues like high blood pressure, cholesterol, and a host of other stuff that only a Ph.D. can pronounce. Eating better does not mean you run out and join every internet diet or stop enjoying all your favorites, we are aging not dying, After having a great lunch with Foodieondutytx I grabbed a few suggestions that should allow you to enjoy all that food offers and even a couple of ideas that help with chronic health conditions.

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FOOD IS MY FRIEND Three Tips to Consider: 1. Limit your beef

We all love a good steak, BBQ Ribs, and other red meats. But when our hands and those ankles are swollen it's no a party. According to health.clevelandclinic.org research shows both processed and red meat are high in saturated fat, which causes inflammation. So maybe alternate between beef and chicken. Also, eat more seafood, they are packed full of those omega 3’s that we all need daily.

2. Treat yourself Make sure that you reserve time just for yourself, have a nice dinner with all the trimmings. If you have made your home a palace then eat like a queen.

3. Explore the globe.

Don’t be that person that says, “ I don’t eat that” and you have never even tried it.

There are so many great cuisines out there from all over the world right in your neighborhood. Go out and try a new restaurant every two weeks or once a month, you might find that not only do you love the food but where to plan your next vacation.

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I LIKE YOUR STYLE

Fashion has changed from day to day and year to year. From our hair to what we wear, I can remember back in the day, I’m talking about my 20’s, there wasn’t anything off of the table as far as what I CHOSE to wear. Short, tight, revealing, slinky, see-thru…IT WAS ALL GOOD!! I could even get away from those things well into my 30’s. My 40’s brought in a little different perspective because I had a teenage daughter who was embarrassed simply by me being around.

I Loved it! It’s the little things in life that bring you the most joy.

When it comes to style and dress in our 50’s, we often find ourselves staring at the closet wondering "what do I wear" then we begin to think there are so many other options hanging in someone else’s closet. You don't have to look like your grandma dressing in housecoats and furry slippers. The style in your 50’s can be FABULOUS, but you have to know your limits. Here are a few more things to consider:

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I LIKE YOUR STYLE Three Tips to Consider: 1. Body shape

As we age, some 50 somethings have gone through menopause, hysterectomy, childbirth, and illnesses such as diabetes that affect our weight specifically how our weight is distributed. Some fabrics are kinder than others and we must be aware of what we look like in clothes. Until recently, in my mind, I still had my 35–40-year-old body but while I while was asleep someone exchanged it for a 50 something body. The Nerve of some people! The fabrics that can be more flattering are flowy, sexy but loose just falling over those glorious curves, a little decolletage (neck & chest), something that might accentuate the fullness of those bosom buddies but cover the arms to the elbow to hide that extra wave some of us might carry. Everyone is different but we want to present as pleasing to all eyes not just our own.

2. Support garments

It is critical that we upgrade our undergarments, ex: Brassieres, Panties (Yes, you should wear them), Shaper/Slimmer, Pantyhose, Leggings or Tights. These are essential to smooth everything out so that our clothes are not a distraction but a distinction. We all need a little help sometimes. We are ladies that celebrate all variations of human stature. The last thing that we need is to look like a “can of busted biscuits”.We can be sensual, professional, and comfortable with a hint of all three (My personal choice) with the proper support items. Let your sexy shine through!

3. Career/Profession

There is a fine line between stepping over the line and seeing the lines through your clothes.

As 50 somethings, we should be the talk of the town when we walk in a room and a polished appearance not a meme on social media. Most corporate sectors have a dress code some very strict and some more relaxed but that doesn’t mean wear your clubwear to work. We have a reputation of excellence to uphold. Be honest and accepting of your appearance so you are dressed for success. Wardrobe mishaps could affect your career growth. We all have heard dress for the career you want not the job you have. Let’s turn heads but for the right reason.

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GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN

As 50 somethings, we have spent most of our lives working, raising children, raising grandchildren, trying to navigate the loss of some relationships, and trying to figure out where we fit in. With the pandemic, it has really been a challenge to find those times to let our hair down. The days of hanging out in the club with the girls have passed us by. Besides, going out to sports bars, concerts, events, etc. has been plagued with people on the cell phones texting to whomever. People no longer converse in person even if you are there. The last time I went out to a sports bar, a guy sat next to me ordered himself a drink and didn’t say a word until I was getting up to leave. He then proceeds to ask me for my number so he could text me later. Ummmm…No! I was taken aback because he could’ve taken advantage of the time we were sitting there to strike up a casual conversation. I used to think that I appeared standoffish when I was out but I later was told by a guy that I don’t appear to be easy. (You got that right!) He told me that men come to clubs, events to pick up women. He said that you look like you don’t take any shit and that no one could just run a game on you. I guess that I was flattered but again mystified by the whole noncommunication of male/female interaction.

What I found I enjoyed was hanging out with me. This was essential in learning to love me because as corny as it sounds If you don’t love you how can anyone else? Besides when you are out with a group of ladies if a man was going to approach you have disarmed him in case of rejection. Most men are not as confident as they let on and rejection is devastating to their ego. I always say that if you are scared to approach me at this point in our lives you will be terrified of what is next to come.

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GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN Here are a few activities that you can participate as a single 50 something to fulfill that “Fun Factor” we so dearly miss: 1. Poetry readings.

I love the energy at a poetry slam and there is usually a bevy of articulate, handsome men that know how to express themselves. When the pandemic is over, look online to see where they host them.

2. Sip and Paint events These are good too because there are libations and this allows the artistic juices to flow. These activities is usually aimed at women but we are trying to have fun whether men/women are around or not.

3. Scavenger hunts These are not only fun but they allow you to get some exercise. Most cities have an organization that hosts them but if not host your own. This is a great idea to get to know local fooderies, bars, stores, parks, etc. Also, this can be set up as teams of 2 and you can target this towards guys without them feeling pressured.

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Fabulize your 50's

I hope you enjoyed this eBook about empowering 50 something females to Be Bold, Be Self Aware, Be a Better version of yourself in all areas. I like to explore what is my Why? What makes me happy? What does success look like? How can I get there? What is in my future? How can I put myself out there to achieve my goals. Don’t allow others to dictate to you how your life should unfold and Fabulize your 50’s. Inspiration should come in the form knowledge, creativity, setting your intention for success and removing roadblocks from your journey. I love to read lots of self-help literature to inspire me and I have chosen a few for you to check out.

Credits:

Health.clevelandclinic.org FoodieondutyTx - Food is My Friend

C.D. Carter