How to Make Your Marriage More Exciting
In medicine there is something called the "Silent Killer." That term refers to cancer, which comes kind of "out of nowhere" and if not discovered and treated, can kill the host - that is, the person who is the carrier.
There's also a "silent killer" in marriage. While it's true that the "big issues" are the most blatant and best-known cause of separation and divorce - affairs, financial issues, parenting differences and others the real root cause of fundamental unhappiness in marriage, and the thing that ultimately leads to dissolution of marriage, is boredom.
Is Boredom in Marriage Inevitable?
So do marriages always end in boredom or lack of excitement over time? My guess is that you talked to 100 married people and got them to be honest, they would all say it does, and that settling into some kind of "half-conscious stupor" or a kind of state parallel to being "roommates" is about all you can really expect in long-term marriage.
Interestingly, many people won't even describe this in too negative a light. All many people are seeking in a marriage after all is comfort, security and - to be frank - to keep from having to go through the hassle of dating and dealing with the constant challenges that go along with it.
A lot of people describe themselves as "reasonably happy" in marriage whose lives together are very humdrum, repetitious and unchanging. They could be "reasonably happy" either because they just like the regularity and predictability of their marriage, or it could be that they simply don't expect much more.
What if You Want More Than A Humdrum Marriage?
Since you're reading this article, you are clearly interested in how to make your marriage a little more exciting. You're probably already bored out of your mind by what's going on at home, and trying to put on a good face and tell your partner things are "OK."
By the standards above, they probably are. As I said before, most people don't expect much out of marriage. But you do.
Stay Away From "Women's Magazine" Tips and Tricks
So let me get on to some answers and tips. These will not resemble what you've normally seen, such as "have a candlelight dinner," "make time to be together," "think of some risquĂŠ thing to do in bed." My experience as a marriage counselor with over 30 years of experience tells me absolutely that these little "tricks" simply do not "work as advertised."
Don't try to trick your partner into being more interesting, or use some tips out of a woman's magazine to "make him go crazy in bed" or any other such claptrap. It's all nonsense, smells badly of tricks and games and will not have any kind of long term value or effect.
Want To Have an Exciting Marriage the Rest Of Your Life Together?
Instead of short-term tricks, let's talk about how you can permanently create a marriage of deep interest, connection, discovery and meaning.
First you yourself must work on becoming more interesting, more exciting and more engaging. How? Find some interests of passion to you, and go deeply into them. If it's art, sports, music, outdoor activities, cooking, anything; it doesn't really matter what it is, as long as you're deeply passionate about it.
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