Resources on How to Save Your Marriage The day you took your vows with your partner, you were so much in love that you never imagined that one day things would turn out to be the way they are in your marriage today. You may be asking yourself what happened. How did you end up where you are now that you are trying to save your marriage?
Certainly it is an emotionally draining period in your life and no one ever wants to be in the same position. When couples commit themselves into marriage, their intention is to have a lifelong relationship.
You may be reading this article and realizing that the love and affection which you initially had in your marriage is no more. You may be wondering if your partner is the same person you felt so much in love with years ago.
Don't Throw Up Your Hands
The trouble is usually the marriage confusion turns out to be so great that you throw up your arms in defeat and decide not to care anymore or slip back to your baser instinct where anger and fear take hold.
This normally makes things worse. To make sense of the confusing area of marital distress, you must first realize that you can make things simpler than they are by focusing on one pillar of marriage - which is love.
If you still believe that love still exists between you and that it is the driving force for your marriage, then you can begin with developing the same attitude in your spouse even if it looks like your partner does not have any interest. However, to do this you must begin with defusing hostile situations to create the right environment for you to communicate properly without putting blame on one another. Below are some tips to help you get out of this awkward situation.
Stop the Hostility
The first barrier in problematic marriages is the hostility, which develops within the marriage. It comes a time when both couples do not want to back down because they feel hard done and are not willing to lose the argument in order to save their face and to prove that probably it is not the issue at hand.
There is a problem when every one is keeping a score, wants to win and to be right. This is a poisonous attitude in marriage where the couples should work together and understand each other on an intimate level that only lovers can reach.
If both partners can leave the ego and at their door step and realize that it is fruitless to keep a score, they will be able to talk properly only after getting rid of the hostility.
Find out the Real Issue
Most arguments normally revolve around small and insignificant things like money matters, house hold chores, or small personal habits. Probably you know that these are not the real issues in your marriage hiccup, but all these small problems might have a kernel of truth or can be signals of other major marital issues.
Do not Try to Manipulate Your Spouse
One may think that he or she can simply dedicate to his or her spouse what is supposed to happen next and can manipulate them in order to save the marriage from collapsing. This has never worked. Manipulation is just a thinly disguised effort to assert control in the marriage and battle normally ensues on who is having the most influence over the marriage. Both partners must avoid the urge to assert themselves in this manner.
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