HOW TO USE THIS BOOK. Using the wrong phrases when supporting someone who has bipolar can be a trigger that affects their mental well-being.
This book is color coded. Each color responds to a character. Example: Ivan has Bipolar 2, he is always in blue.
Look out for the light bulb throughout the book for top tips.
Look out for Dr. Anwar, to find out when it’s time to seek professional help.
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Hello, I’m Dr. Anwar, and these are my patients, who have been diagnosed with bipolar. This book is your personal guide, that will help you as a supporter to use the right language while interacting with them. Empathise with the characters as they struggle with their condition in their everyday lives.
EMMA
IVAN
ALIYA
JOE
LET’S LEARN MORE.
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WHAT IS BIPOLAR DISORDER? It is a mood disorder characterized by swings in a person’s mood from high to low – euphoric to depressed.
SELF
EXCESS
ENERGY
IMPORTANCE
SPENDING
MANIC
FULL OF
SYMPTOMS INCLUDE
4
HOPELESS
LOW ENERGY
DEPRESSIVE
SELF DOUBT
Some media call bipolar disorder a genius disease.
Bipolar increases the risk of suicide by 20 times.
Compared to other health problems, treatment of bipolar is still badly affected by misunderstanding and stigma.
01
02
At least one manic episode, which has lasted for longer than one week. You may only have manic episodes, although most people with Bipolar I also have periods of depression.
If you have had more than one episode of severe depression, but only mild manic episodes – these are called ‘hypomania’.
BIPOLAR TYPE 01
Untreated, a manic episode will generally last 3 to 6 months.
Depressive episodes last rather longer - 6 to 12 months without treatment.
BIPOLAR TYPE 02
03
RAPID CYCLING
If you have more than four mood swings in a 12 month period. This affects around 1 in 10 people with bipolar disorder, and can happen with both types I and II.
Mania 10
T otal loss of Judgment, excess spending & hallucinations
09 Loose touch of reality, no sleep, paranoid & reckless behaviour.
Mood Scale
Hypomania 08 I nflated self-esteem, rapid thoughts & speech. 07
Very productive, doing things excessively.
Balanced 06 Good self-esteem, optimistic and social. 05 Mood in balance, good outlook to life. 04 Slight withdraw from social interactions, less concentration. Mild Depression 03
Feelings of panic, anxiety and poor memory
02
Need to be alone, no appetite and everything is a struggle.
Severe Depression 01
Feelings of hopelessness & guilt.
00 Endless suicidal thoughts.
This scale is not meant to be definitive, but is an indicator of possible behaviors.
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CONTIRBUTING FACTORS
BRAIN CHEMICALS
GENITICS
Studies have shown that there is a relationship between brain chemistry & bipolar disorder.
Approximately half of people with bipolar disorder have a family member with a mood disorder, such as depression.
ENVIROMENTAL FACTORS Some experts believe bipolar disorder is linked to the experience of severe emotional trauma in early life, such as physical, sexual or emotional abuse.
HYPERMANIC EPISODES.
EMMA AGE: 23 DIAGNOSIS Bipolar rapid cycling SYMPTOMS: Inflated self-esteem, rapid thoughts, excessive everything (drinking, smoking), abnormal energy.
FREQUENTLY SAID WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD
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Stop spending money on silly things, you’ve already spent too much. Engage with them, and delay their impulse During Emma’s Hyper manic
Let’s see how the collection is next week? and come back.
episodes she goes through a rush of energy which she channels by enjoying her shopping sprees and spending her money on expensive things that most of the time, she can’t afford. Although, that doesn’t stop her! Going out and spending
Emma is a smart and ambitious
money makes her the most happy.
girl with very big career goals and sometimes her disorder comes in the way of her achieving them. However, Emma is aware of this, so when she is having a manic episode, she tries to use that energy in reaching the
You’re being very impractical, don’t be such a perfectionist
front of the line, not realising how unrealistic some her goals are.
What you are doing is great, maybe if I can help you, we can achieve it quicker?
Try to maintain a balance between encouraging their bright plans and trying to talk to them out of the ones that aren’t practical
It is important for them to keep having their meds, if they act out it’s probably because they
Are you off your medication?
have not been taking them, don’t confront them straight away, ask them about their daily routine and slip in the question as an add on. Medication can be a sensitive topic as well, you don’t want them to think they are irresponsible and not capable of taking care of themselves.
Have you eaten your dinner? And did you take your meds after?
Telling them to calm down, will only
You are very hyper right now, could you please calm down?
trigger the situation, use alternative phrases.
Hold on for a minute, let’s take a break Emma always takes her medication. But just like everyone else, sometimes she too forgets. This can make her act out and telling her to calm down only makes it worse. Just like when you’re furious and someone asks you to calm down, it hardly ever works.
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Answer questions honestly. However, do not argue or debate with your loved one during a manic episode. Avoid intense conversation.
DEPRESSIVE EPISODES.
IVAN AGE: 36 DIAGNOSIS Bipolar Type 2 SYMPTOMS: Depressed mood, such as feeling sad, empty, hopeless or tearful, Feelings of worthlessness, excessive or inappropriate guilt.
FREQUENTLY SAID WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD
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I understand where you are coming from, everybody has a bad day every now and then
You cannot assume, their feeling because you don’t have the medical condition, they do. Telling them you do will make them feel like you aren’t taking them seriously
I’m never going to say, ‘I know how you feel’ unless I truly do, but if I can do anything to help, I will.
Ivan has been feeling depressed for a while now. He doesn’t have the motivation to do anything else except lay in bed and weep. He feels hopeless, lonely and wishes to share with someone the hard time that he is going through in a hope to get better.
Cheer up! Only you can make yourself happy
If they could control their moods, they would. They need support and love, remind them they aren’t alone
Ivan is has been diagnosed for years. He knows that this isn’t a phase and if there was anything he could do to make himself happy, he would. He cant help but feeling sad and the last thing he needs is more people telling him that he needs to find ways to make him self feel happy.
This will pass, and we can ride it out together
Ivan often feels like he cant get achieve certain things in life because of his condition. He thinks he won’t ever be happy, have
Stop feeling sorry for yourself!
real friends or even a meaningful relationship. He is afraid that noone will empathise with him and be there for him.
Try not to be direct with your comment, many of your words can be triggers. They need words of comfort not provocation.
This doesn’t define you, you are still you, and you can achieve all your aspirations.
You’re bad moods are dragging me down with you
I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. I am not going to leave you ever.
They are aware how difficult they must be do handle, try not to lose you patience. A moment of your anger and wrong words can haunt them forever Ivan is on medication, but he hasn’t found the right medication that helps him with his low moods. He needs somebody to be there for him. He needs to be told that his bad mood doesn’t have to affect his relationships. He still has people who love him for who he is, and he will never have to face this alone.
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Don’t take any comments personally. During periods of high energy, your loved one may say and do things that they wouldn’t usually say or do, including focusing on negative aspects of others. If needed, stay away from the person and avoid arguments.
GENERAL DON’TS
!!
Your bad moods are dragging me down with you
Your bad moods are dragging me down with you
I wish I was manic so i could be as energetic as you
JUST TRY A LITTLE HARDER
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YOU SOUND A LITTLE DOWN TODAY
Why don’t you try to smile more, and be happy
?!
Listen. You don’t always need to provide answers or advice to be helpful. In fact, simply being a good listener is one of the best things you can do for someone with bipolar disorder, especially when they want to talk to you about the challenges they’re facing. Offering your acceptance and understanding.
EVERY DAY SITUATIONS.
SIMPLE WAYS TO SUPPORT EMMA
When you first find out that Emma has bipolar Don’t show surprise or discrimination. You need to make her feel that you’re not surprised and she is still understood & respected.
I don’t mind it at all! Do you have time in the afternoon? The weather is great today, we can go to the park together.
During social gatherings such
For the sake of our health, perhaps we should avoid the use of alcohol.”
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as parties help her stay calm encourage her reduce or avoid alcohol.
SIMPLE WAYS TO SUPPORT IVAN
You did really well in today’s presentation A little praise may go a long way in improving Tom’s mood. Only offer sincere praise. Never praise him for behaviors or actions you don’t truly feel positive about.
Ivan may not want to be stigmatized or pity them when you’re at work. Respect his privacy and talk to him normally.
How you doing? Did you finish the work?
If Ivan is manic, this could translate to overzealous behavior in the workplace. He may try to change the scope of a project or create unrealistic goals. Be sure to clearly state the aim and scope of your project going in to prevent this.
That’s a great idea, but at this stage we shouldn’t change our plan or goal
YOU AS A SUPPORTER
Supporting someone with bipolar disorder, like supporting anyone with a serious condition, can be an incredibly rewarding experience that brings two parties closer together, but can also be one that is a source of great stress and confusion.
NOTE TO YOURSELF
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You can’t build a strong house on a shaky foundation. Self-care is something that is often taken for granted as occurring, but in actuality is an area that is frequently neglected. When you are supporting someone, your own needs can often fall by the wayside. Over time, this neglect can build up and leave you burnt out. To prevent this, it is incredibly important to take care of yourself as well as the person with the diagnosis.
I know that it’s difficult putting yourself first in this chaos but it is necessary for you to do so, take care of yourself first so you’re right fit to take care of those that need you
Do as much as you can! Be comfortable of doing so It can be tempting when caring for
Remember that their actions are simply a reaction stemming from their circumstances and seem magnified due to their disorder.
someone with an illness to fill every open position in their life, in order to care for them in what feels like a full and complete way. Just like neglecting your own needs, putting this type of pressure on yourself can cause you to overwork yourself into a state where you are not able to support your own mental well being, let alone anyone else’s. It’s okay to be someone’s parent, friend, romantic partner or coworker, without also being their counselor, mental health nurse, or psychiatrist.
HELP FROM PROFESSIONALS
ALIYA AGE:
31 DIAGNOSIS
Bipolar Type 1 SYMPTOMS:
Lost touch with Reality, incoherent, paranoid, reckless behaviour, exorbitant spending, delusions and hallucinations.
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Treatment for people with bipolar
Be vigilant in observing behavior
disorder usually consists of many
that resembles any of the
therapy sessions and doctor visits.
aforementioned signs. You may
While you shouldn’t necessarily
consider keeping a notebook for
attend these appointments, you
recording manic and depressive
can help Aliya by coming with
symptoms for yourself. Have Lisa
her and then waiting for her until
share her experiences so that you
her appointment is over. These
can journal for her.
appointments can sometimes seem complicated or scary. Having someone there who can offer support and talk to her may help reduce any stress or anxiety that she might be feeling.
Unfortunately, things can escalate very quickly with bipolar disorder, so pay attention and act to protect Aliya and yourself. If a life event happens, such as a
Just because a lot of celebrities, have been diagnosed, doesn’t mean everybody is creative. So, if it were true that everybody diagnosed with bipolar was special or a creative, they wouldn’t hide their illness now would they?
change in job, break up, move, or other change that’s major, be on the lookout. These could be triggers to an episode.
Don’t forget that you are never alone in your experiences, and that this is not a journey that you must navigate without assistance, utilizing these services is recommended.
GENERAL DO’S I LOVE YOU AND I CARE I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. Hold on! Let’s figure this out togther
When all this is over, i’ll still be here.
?!
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!! I am always willing to listen
YOU’RE NOT ALONE IN THIS
It is more polite to say someone “has bipolar” than “is bipolar”. You wouldn’t say that somebody “was cancer”. You wouldn’t say: “This is Lisa. She is diabetes.”
HELP FROM PROFESSIONALS
JOE AGE:
19 DIAGNOSIS
Bipolar Type 1 SYMPTOMS: Hoarding medication, Increased interest in suicide ,Withdrawing from people, Depressive thoughts, Lack of interest and energy, lost appetite.
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Of primary and significant
Let your Joe knows that he is not
importance is that family and
alone and that you care.
friends be watchful for signs of
Don’t take responsibility, however,
suicidal behavior.
for healing him, you can offer
Suicidal behavior is not
support, but you can’t make a
always obvious and is seldom
suicidal person get better. He has
predictable, but there are some
to make a personal commitment
signs that can trigger family
to recovery. This is when you
and friends to ask more direct
have to take support from a
questions, such as, “Are you
professional.
feeling suicidal at all?” It is okay to ask Joe directly whether he is suicidal; there is not any danger that you
WHAT TO SAY
will “put ideas in their head” as some family members and friends may fear.
The Worst Way To React When they Reach Out To You: Saying nothing at all. Asking them why they want to kill themselves, as if that seems “weird” or “dumb.” Changing the subject all together. Making a joke. Telling them not to kill themselves because “you’re great!”
“I am very worried about you” “I have no idea what you are going through” “ I care about you, i cant imagine my life without you” “ I don’t want you to die”
If it feels like things are getting too difficult to handle, reach out to a medical or mental health expert right away. Call 911 if the person becomes abusive or threatens to harm themselves or others.
LETS SUPPORT EACH OTHER. Peer Support Line 0333 323 3880 info@bipolaruk.org Support Groups 0333 323 3885 supportgroups@bipolaruk.org
eCommunity ecommunity@bipolaruk.org Helpline helpline@scope.org.uk 0808 800 3333
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