“ School’s out” takes on new meaning for children of abused women.
Survey paints disturbing picture of need. Like all 13 of the women’s shelters in Toronto, the physical address of Interval House is, out of necessity, a carefully guarded secret. But because of that need for secrecy, few outsiders understand the urgent need for financial support. Last month, the Canadian Network of Women's Shelters and Transition Houses lifted the veil slightly on that need, with the results of its first-ever national survey painting a very disturbing picture. On the day of the survey, 14,178 women and 2,490 children were living in shelters across Canada. One statistic was particularly grim: 286 women and 205 children were turned away that day because there simply wasn't room. “These statistics are alarming,” Interval House’s Paula Del Cid says. “Without funding there’s a risk that that number could double. What’s going to happen to these women and children. Are they going to put up with abuse just to get
Interval House supporters make an enormous difference for survivors of abuse and their children. As the school year nears an end, that support is more critical than ever. www.intervalhouse.ca
food and shelter? Are they just going to be another murder statistic in Toronto?” Most women who use shelters don't know how to navigate the social service system, and they often stay in violent and dangerous living situations to avoid becoming homeless. That’s what makes financial support so critical — but the reality in Ontario is that government funding for shelters like Interval House has not increased since 2008. In fact, the survey showed that a lack of funding is the biggest challenge for most shelters. “Having our shelters is so important,” says Paula. “Our dream would be that shelters wouldn’t have to exist in the first place. But the reality is we do exist and we need to help these women. They don’t know all the help that’s available out there. We want women to know we’re here to help. We say to them: “We can offer a bed, some food and help to get through this. It’s not going to be easy but we’re going to work at it together.”
Please consider making a special donation today. Your gift of $40 provides a Welcome Kit for an abused woman $60 provides Welcome Kits for a mother and her child $80 provides a Family Welcome Kit for an abused mother and her children
Interval House is a registered Canadian charity with a charitable tax number of 11897 1159 RR0001.
It’s a shocking reality that as kids across Canada prepare to toss the books aside and celebrate the start of a long hot summer, thousands will be fleeing their homes with mothers who are escaping abusive relationships. Christmas isn’t the only time of year that sees a spike in the numbers of women seeking shelter. In fact all across Canada, late spring is one of the busiest times, and Interval House is no exception. The reason? These women — battered and abused but not broken — are putting their kids first. According to Paula Del Cid, Residential Co-Supervisor at Interval House, mothers often hang on as long as they can, leaving home at the end of the school year in order to minimize the disruption to their children's routines.
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INTERVAL HOUSE
IN THE SPRING 2014 ISSUE: “School’s out”............................ 1 I was more happy in the shelter ............................. 2 Survey paints disturbing picture of need ........................ 4
“These women put their children before themselves,” Paula says.
“There are days where a woman’s story will really hit you hard. But you try to think of it as ‘this is what I’m here for.’ If we’re not here for these women, who else will do it?”. – Paula Del Cid
“Sometimes moms think that if their child is finishing school it’s an easier transition for them — and they will endure the abuse until they can make it better for their child.”
At Interval House, this end-of-schoolyear spike in numbers means we must be prepared. “When the kids arrive, there’s often a lot of fear,” Paula says. “It’s a new place for them. The first few weeks are the hardest. They’re not in their bed, they don’t have their toys. We explain to the child what the shelter is. We say this is a place where people are living for a while all together until mommy can find a new home.” Even being in that environment and witnessing abuse is abuse itself. When we have the older kids who do understand and who say ‘I want to come back and be a social worker one day’ or ‘I’m not going to treat my partner or cont’d on page 3
“ I was more happy in the shelter than my own house”
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In the end, it was a fight about food that finally drove Maria* from her violent, hard-drinking husband.
She’d endured five years of physical and mental abuse, but on that final day in her home she couldn’t bear that her husband was refusing to feed his own children. He constantly complained about having to provide, yet wouldn’t help Maria with the tools she needed to learn English, get a job, or go to school. “He hit me. He controlled the money. He cheated on me,” Maria says of the man she married. It was an impossible situation. On the day Maria made up her mind to leave, her husband had been drinking and fighting with his own mother. And when he turned on Maria, she was deeply frightened about what he might do. “That day my children asked me for food and I didn’t have food,” Maria recalls. “I said to him, ‘I need to buy food for the children.’ He said, ‘you need to work.’ That day was enough for me. I knew I couldn’t continue like that. My children didn’t need this life.” Maria fled with her kids — two girls, now 7 and 3 — to a community centre where staff helped them make www.intervalhouse.ca
kids like that’ … if we only reach one child that way then we’ve made a difference.” Paula admits it’s tough to see so much pain and tragedy every day. But she prefers to focus on the good that comes from a stay at Interval House. Equipping and motivating the women to rebuild and reinvent themselves is a big task; watching the transformation play out in their lives is enormously rewarding.
their way to Interval House. “I was very afraid,” Maria says. “It was new for me. I was afraid for my children because they didn’t know where we were going.” Maria also feared what might happen if her husband somehow found her. Being outside was terrifying, so she stayed indoors most of the time. It took about two months for her to finally feel safe. “After about two months my children were making friends,” Maria says. “We were very happy. I started to sleep well. I, too, made friends. The workers there helped me a lot with my children, with me, with my feelings. I was more happy in the shelter than my own house.” Interval House exists to help women like Maria find safety and rebuild their lives. Since leaving Interval House, Maria has been accepted into a transitional program while she waits for a permanent housing placement. She’s thrilled and proud that her children are thriving, and she knows how very far they have come.
But looking back, she acknowledges how tough it is for a woman to leave an abusive partner. “When I lived with him I felt very scared all the time,” says Maria, now 26. “I didn’t have power in me. All the time I felt like he controlled my life. Now I feel that I have control of my own decisions and my own life. If I want to go to school I can go. If I want to find a job I feel I can do it. I feel like I can be stronger. I feel more comfortable with myself. I am now myself.” Maria wants you to know how much your support for Interval House means. “I didn’t have clothes, no money, nothing for me and my children,” Maria says. “The many donations helped me. Most of the women have children. If you help and encourage the moms, the children can go forward with their life. If you help the children, they’re going to grow — and they are the future of this world.” *Maria’s name has been changed to protect her identity.
“These are women of different languages, countries, income levels, education levels,” she says. “It’s not just low-income women who are new to the country. Unfortunately it hits everyone, it hits hard, and no one’s immune to it.” As an organization we’re always evolving and broadening our services to reach more women. “I’ve always been a firm believer in the phrase that when one door closes, another opens,” she explains. “When that new door opens into Interval House, I want that woman to know she’s not alone. I’d like to believe that if I were ever in need of assistance, there would be someone there for me. That’s the drive that keeps me going: passion for my career and knowing that Interval House is changing lives every day.” And if Paula has one message for donors who generously support the work of Interval House, it’s this: “Although our name is Interval House — and the women are here for that brief interval — the impact lasts a lifetime. She will forever remember her time here. She’ll remember that someone like you gave her the opportunity to make a better life for herself, that you helped feed her children and clothe her, you provided her with the opportunity to be treated like a human.” www.intervalhouse.ca