Narcisse Magazine April/May 2009 Part 1 of 2 by Narcisse Magazine

N A R C I S S E

VOLUME 4 ISSUE 3 APRIL/MAY 2008

C O N T E N T

The Team

R��A�S 2 - Contents 4 - Attention 8 - I Think Therefore I BLOG 45 - Lynns Lookout 104 - Style Council 113 - Style Council - Next Month 158 - Birthday Pages 166 - Hororscope 170 - As Voted 180 - Time To Vote 190 - Adverts 199 - And Now...

Mandy Taylor

Editor - in - chief (Whatever THAT means??!!)

email mandytaylor6662000@yahoo.co.uk

Lynn Westlake UK Author and Right-hand Girl, without whom Narcisse would be nowhere near as good, full of ideas, enthusiasm and the cheek of the devil xxx

�IF�S� �LE 7 - Play safe 48 - Fashion - Pretty Cardis and Floaty Dresses 66 - Personal Profile - Nails 92 - Centrefold - Jennifer Ann Nelson 122 - Fashion - Heels 134 - Personal Profile - Feel The Burn! 143 - Dont Panic! 188 - Conversion Tables

C O N

Kaz - Bestest mate a girl could have - UK Based GG - Author of “ Personal Profile”

Joanne - Long-suffering wife of Mandy, roving reporter and general snoop, the source of

F�A�UR�S 29 - QOTM - Hiding the Girl Within 35 - The Secret Dress 62 - Make Some Noise 82 - Transgender History Part 2 100 - TGaming(NEW)

“ In the paper’s”.

Janet Smith

- our newest intern, and producer of our front covers Studio “A” Photography janetcd1@yahoo.com 2

www.studioaphotography.biz www.myspace.com/studioaphotography2006

C O N T E N T

T�UE �IFE 5 - Letters To The Editor 20 - One Girls Story - Jamie Renae 60 - In The Papers 116 - Ask The Girls 132 - FACEBOOK IS HERE!! 181 - Helplines

Lisa-Gayle - US based writer,

Author of "Across Golden Pond" an expats view of life in the States!

Nicola James

��ST �OR ��N 10 - The Americans Guide to Speaking English 139 - Cartoon 140 - Top Tips

C��PE�I��S 58 - Black and White Competition Winner 72 - Rock Chick Competition Entrants 81 - Next months Competiton - Jeans 114 - Basque In Glory Competition Winner 148 - Go On , Be A Sport Competition Entrants 156 - Tammis Torments 187 - Quiz Answers

- UK based writer, one of the ‘girls’ in “Ask The Girls”, and a VERY good friend ( even though she is Scottish hehe )

Drew NieldMassey - UK Based Writer and all-round good egg, Author of the Hororscope

Centrefold - Jennifer Ann Nelson

One Girls Story - Jamie Renae

Guest Writer 3

- Gloria Glamourpuss

Well then. some of the more observant of you â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;mayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; have noticed a slight difference in the set-up where Competitions are concerned, not much, but let me explain. The pictures of competitors will still appear here, in the magazine, and also on my Yahoo group ( http:// groups.yahoo.com/group/lilboutique/ ). The only real difference is that now you vote HERE! You will find the voting section on this site , so no more need to troupe off to lilboutique to vote - easy huh?! All pictures for the subsequent competitions can still be sent to me at mandytaylor6662000@yahoo.co.uk as well as any enquiries, so get entering/voting/etc etc hehe

ATTENTION!!! 4

to the Editor Following on from this letter last issue........

“The word NARCISSE is a derivative of the term narcissism - to be enamored of one’s own reflection, the trait of excessive and self destructive self-love. This concept, when applied to our people, has always irritated me at best, and insulted and angered me in the extreme. It implies that we are what we are due to a basic self-centeredness, a psychological deviation, a single-minded, monopathic self obsession. Frankly, We are what we are because of hormonal imballance. What we see in the mirror is confusing, and thouugh we might be drawn to it, like a moth to a flame, we are not caught there by self-centeredness. We are no less participating, contributing members of society than any other. We see what is beautiful and self fulfilling, but denied us by society. The schism is facinating... happiness just out of reach. To allow someone to categorize us as self centered is wrong, and a conceptualization that must be destroyed. This is about as useful to our cause as the turn-of-the-century drawings of us demonstrating a preclusion for bondage, whips, chains... We are no more driven to this by masochism than we are by narcissm. Gain some self respect! How can society give us acceptance us if we don’t respect ourselves?”

“ Mandy, I hope you take no notice of any detractors. They invariably have ‘issues’ and/or personal problems that comes out as written rubbish. They cannot stand anothers success, so it must be faulted. Please ignore them. You’ve done a fantastic job with Narcisse, and if anyone does not like it or the mags name, I’d remind them that like all of us, they have a key on their PC thats spelt D,E,L,E,T,E . Hugs Gina “

“Thanks for the great magazines” Otis

Just started viewing mag and my first thoughts are do you ever sleep, must take ages. Found bit about discrimination towards transgen most interesting as suffered a bit of verbal crap a few months ago from a neighbour, nothing major but was told to report it to cops, took ages doing statements from myself and witnesses and all for for the case to be dropped because of witnesses i had were so say friends. As a result neighbour thought it was party time and the insults flowed like water, felt like ramming his teeth down his throat. Things with him and his family have since calmed down, however a couple of weeks ago a group of kids from round the corner asked if i was bi sexual, made the fatal mistake of saying do i fucking look like it and one replied yeah cos of the trousers i wear (actually leggins). Now i should of just laughed and walked away but i found myself threatening to kick the living daylights out of all four of them, one of them actually said “if you know whats good for you, your walk away” must be all of 14 and still showing umbillical cord. Did manage to get one on his own and advised him not to go out alone at night in not so many words, funny thing is when i saw him he was carrying man bag and wearing pink gloves!!!and im the fucking one whos bi sexual?? For a couple of weeks i just found myself thinking i should just leave my wife and be on my own as its not fare that they have to put up with the same crap i do, however had a good old chat to wife and she bascially make me see sense. Just pisses me off i keep myself to myself, play footy with most of the kids in the street and all i ever seem to get is frowned upon, just gets on my tits sometimes. Anyway hope alls well with you. Shell Just finished reading the latest issue of Narcisse. Wow! I cannot imagine the amount of time & effort that went into producing it. Excellent. Everything is so beautifully presented. Great job. My congratulations to you and everyone else who had a part in it’s production. Hugs Lena

I love the latest Narcisse magazine very much and I do read them or most of them as often as I can. The work put into it is obvious by the content and thought which comes out. Mandy, you are great and so is your magazine. Sidney

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P L A Y

ROTECT YOUR IDENTITY

Do not reveal information which could expose your identity until you are confident that it is safe. Be cautious revealing your name, address, phone number, email address, place of work, website address, etc. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into revealing details before you are ready. If they are overly aggressive in asking for identifying information, cut off communication. Do not feel obligated to be more open than you are comfortable being. Contact the administrator of the website if you have concerns.

ET SOMEONE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING Be sure that someone knows where you’re going and when to expect you back.

LWAYS TAKE A PHONE AND YOUR FARE HOME

If you have a cellular phone, take it along, and have a friend call periodically. You may wish to take along some form of personal protection just in case. If someone tries to get you into a situation you are not comfortable with, don’t hesitate refuse, leave, or do whatever is necessary to protect yourself. Nothing that anyone else does can obligate you to compromise your own safety.

OUR SAFER IN A CROWD member, there is safety in numbers!

S A F E

intimate one on one meetings put you at a huge risk, re-

TAY IN PUBLIC PLACES erm...................DUH!!!!

VOID TOO MUCH ALCOHOL

All drinks can be spiked, but it only takes a few too many drinks for you to lose your inhibitions and agree to things you will later regret, a clear head nearly always lead to a clear conscience.

EELINGS MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE, TRUST INTUITION If you feel

uneasy about someone you’ve met online, err on the side of caution. It’s probably better to miss a few good experiences than to have one bad one.

NJOY!!! 99% of the time you will be safe and have a great time, but for the sake of that 1% always err on the side of caution, remember, if they are serious they will arrange to meet again, if they dont , it wasnt worth the risk! xxxx7

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BLOG

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Oh gawd! here we go again! So much to write and so little time! Well, thats not strictly true, but you get the gist... So, what do you want to talk to me about?.....yes?... Yes ..you. Why should I always be the one to start the ball rolling? oooohhhhh go on then, if I have to...... Right then, this week I have mostly been eating... CHOCOLATE! Yes, dear reader, I am one of those great fortunates who can eat their entire body weight in chocolate on a daily basis, and not put on an ounce ( hateful aren’t we!). At work they are astounded at the sheer VOLUME of food i consume, my packed lunches are a stuff of legends, and as one they cry “ she must have hollow legs” and the like. S’not my fault, I eat a fairly balanced diet, I mean....a pack of fruit pastilles DOES give me 5 of my daily 8 fruit and veg........doesn’t it? and theres the jam tarts! another 2, and if you count the yoghurt then I am quids in ! 8 out of 8 and thankyou very much! ....And then theres your dairy too! said yoghurt is one! Cheese in my sarnies - 2 ! SEE!! never been so healthy! AND roughage in the way of bread.......and..... crisps.........SEE!! LOADS of the stuff! Dont know what their bleating about...... although they did once do a calorie count on my bag of goodies and...well....so.....3500 calories IS....somewhat on the large side BUT I’m a growing girl!! What do you want me to do - STARVE??? Giggle

Mandy xx 9

The Americanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Guide To Speaking English

Slang... Ace - If something is ace it is brilliant. I used to hear it a lot in Liverpool. Kids thought all cool stuff was ace, or brill. Aggro - Short for aggravation, it’s the sort of thing you might expect at a football match. In other words - trouble! There is sometimes aggro in the cities after the pubs shut! All right? - This is used a lot around London and the south to mean, “Hello, how are you”? You would say it to a complete stranger or someone you knew. The normal response would be for them to say “All right”? back to you. It is said as a question. Sometimes it might get expanded to “all right mate”? Mostly used by blue collar workers but also common among younger people. Any road - Up north (where they talk funny!!) instead of saying anyway, they say “any road”! Weird huh? Arse - This is a word that doesn’t seem to exist in America. It basically means the same as ass, but is much ruder. It is used in phrases like “pain in the arse” (a nuisance) or I “can’t be arsed” (I can’t be bothered) or you might hear something was “a half arsed attempt” meaning that it was not done properly. Arse about face - This means you are doing something back to front. Arse over tit - Another version of arse over elbow, but a bit more graphic! Arsehole - Asshole to you. Not a nice word in either language. Arseholed - Drunk! Usually in the advanced stages of drunken stupor, someone would be considered “completely arseholed”. Never me, of course! Ass - Your backside, but mostly a donkey! Baccy - Tobacco. The sort you use to roll your own. Bang - Nothing to do with your hair - this is a rather unattractive way of describing having sex. Always gets a smile from Brits in American hair dressers when they are asked about their bangs. Barmy - If someone tells you that you’re barmy they mean you have gone mad or crazy. For example you’d have to be barmy to visit England without trying black pudding! Bees Knees - This is the polite version of the dog’s bollocks. So if you are in polite company and want to say that something was fabulous, this phrase might come in handy. Belt up - For some reason I heard this quite a lot as a kid. It’s the British for shut up. Bender - I used to go out on a bender quite frequently when I was at university. Luckily bender doesn’t only mean a gay man, it also means a pub crawl or a heavy drinking session. The sort of bender I went out on was the second kind. Obviously! Bite your arm off - This is not aggressive behaviour that a football fan might engage in. In fact it just means that someone is over excited to get something. For instance you might say that kids would bite your arm off for an ice cream on a sunny day. Bladdered - This rather ugly expression is another way of saying you are drunk. The link is fairly apparent I feel!

Bleeding - An alternative to the word bloody. You’ll hear people say “bleeding hell” or “not bleeding likely” for example. Blimey - Another exclamation of surprise. My Dad used to say “Gawd Blimey” or “Gor Blimey” or even “Cor Blimey”. It is all a corruption of the oath God Blind Me. Blinding - If something is a blinding success - it does not mean that any eyes were poked out with sharp sticks - it means it was fantastic. Bloody - One of the most useful swear words in English. Mostly used as an exclamation of surprise i.e. “bloody hell” or “bloody nora”. Something may be “bloody marvellous” or “bloody awful”. It is also used to emphasise almost anything, “you’re bloody mad”, “not bloody likely” and can also be used in the middle of other words to emphasise them. E.g. “Abso-bloody-lutely”! Americans should avoid saying “bloody” as they sound silly. Blooming - Another alternative to the word bloody. You might hear someone say “not blooming likely” so that they don’t have to swear. Blow me - When an English colleague of mine exclaimed “Blow Me” in front of a large American audience, he brought the house down. It is simply an exclamation of surprise, short for “Blow me down”, meaning something like I am so surprised you could knock me over just by blowing. Similar to “Well knock me down with a feather”. It is not a request for services to be performed. Blow off - Who blew off? Means who farted? Constant source of amusement to us Brits when you guys talk about blowing people off. Conjours up all sort of bizarre images! Bob’s your uncle - This is a well used phrase. It is added to the end of sentences a bit like and that’s it! For example if you are telling someone how to make that fabulous banoffee pie you just served them, you would tell them to boil the condensed milk for three hours, spread it onto a basic cheesecake base, slice bananas on top, add some whipped double cream, another layer of banana and Bob’s your uncle! Bodge - We bodge things all the time here. I’m sure you do too! To do a bodge job means to do a quick and dirty. Make it look good for the next day or two and if it falls down after that - hey well we only bodged it! Applies to building, DIY, programming and most other things. Bogey - Booger. Any variety, crusty dragons included! Bollocks - This is a great English word with many excellent uses. Technically speaking it means testicles but is typically used to describe something that is no good (that’s bollocks) or that someone is talking rubbish (he’s talking bollocks). Surprisingly it is also used in a positive manner to describe something that is the best, in which case you would describe it as being “the dog’s bollocks”. Englishmen who live in America take great delight in ordering specialised registration plates for their cars using the letters B.O.L.L.O.X. Good eh? Bomb - If something costs a bomb it means that it is really expensive. We say it when we see the price of insurance in the US, you could try saying it when you see how much jeans or petrol cost over here! Bonk - Same meaning as shag. Means to have sex. E.g. “Did you bonk him/her?”.

Bottle - Something you have after twenty pints of lager and the curry. A lotta bottle! This means courage. If you have a lotta bottle you have no fear. Brassed off - If you are brassed off with something or someone, you are fed up. Pissed off perhaps. Brill - Short for “brilliant”. Used by kids to mean cool. Budge up - If you want to sit down and someone is taking up too much space, you’d ask them to budge up - move and make some space. Bugger - This is another fairly unique word with no real American equivalent. Like bloody it has many uses apart from the obvious dictionary one pertaining to rather unusual sexual habits. My father was always shouting “bugger” when he was working in the garage or garden. Usually when he hit his thumb or dropped a nail or lost something. Today we might use the sh** or the f*** words but bugger is still as common. The fuller version of this would be “bugger it”. It can also be used to tell someone to get lost (bugger off), or to admit defeat (we’re buggered) or if you were tired or exhausted you would be buggered. You can also call someone a bugger. When I won £10 on the lottery my mate called me a “lucky bugger”. Bugger all - If something costs bugger all, it means that it costs nothing. Meaning it is cheap. If you have bugger all, it means you have nothing. Bum - This is the part of your body you sit on. Your ass! It might also be someone who is down and out, like a tramp. You might also bum around, if you are doing nothing in particular, just hanging out. Finally to bum something means to scrounge it from someone. Bung - To bung something means to throw it. For example a street trader might bung something in for free if you pay cash right now! Or you could say “bung my car keys over, mate”. Butchers - To have a butchers at something is to have a look. This is a cockney rhyming slang word that has become common. The reason “butchers” means a look even though it doesn’t rhyme is because it is short for “butchers hook” and “hook” of course, does rhyme. Camp - Someone who displays effeminate or gay behaviour is somewhat camp. And to “camp it up” would be to dress in drag. Chat up - To chat someone up is to try and pick them up. If you spotted a scrummy girly in a bar you might try to chat her up. Or a girl might try and chat up a chap! Cheeky - “Eee you cheeky monkey” was what my mother said to me all the time when I was a kid. Cheeky means you are flippant, have too much lip or are a bit of a smart arse! Generally you are considered to be a bit cheeky if you have an answer for everything and always have the last word. My licence plate on my MX5 (Miata in American) was CHEEKY, which most Texans thought was something to do with bottoms - wrong!! Cheers - This word is obviously used when drinking with friends. However, it also has other colloquial meanings. For example when saying goodbye you could say “cheers”, or “cheers then”. It also means thank you. Americans could use it in English pubs, but should avoid the other situations as it sounds wrong with an American accent. Sorry!

Chuffed - You would be chuffed to bits if you were really pleased about something. Cock up - A cock up means you have made a mistake. It has nothing to do with parts of the male body. Cockney rhyming slang - There are lots of words that make up cockney rhyming slang. These are basically rhyming words like “butchers hook” which means “look”. If you are in London and you hear someone talk about a Septic they are probably talking about you - because it’s short for “Septic tank” which equals “yank”, which is our word for an American. How do you like that! Codswallop - Another one I heard a lot as a kid - usually when I was making up excuses for how the window got broken or why my dinner was found behind the sofa. My Dad would tell me I was talking a load of codswallop. American kids might be talking baloney under the same circumstances. Crap - The same word in both countries - but less rude here. I loved watching Brits being interviewed on US chat shows and embarrassing the interviewer when they said something was “total crap”. Crusty dragon - A booger. One of the really crispy ones. Daft - My Dad used to call me a daft ‘apeth which is short for a daft half penny (in old money). It basically means stupid. Doddle - Something that is a doddle is a cinch, it’s easy. Unlike ordering water in Texas with an English accent, which is definitely not a doddle! Dodgy - If someone or something is a bit dodgy, it is not to be trusted. Dodgy food should be thrown away at home, or sent back in a restaurant. Dodgy people are best avoided. You never know what they are up to. Dodgy goods may have been nicked. When visiting Miami I was advised by some English chums that certain areas were a bit dodgy and should be avoided! Dog’s bollocks - You would say that something really fantastic was the dog’s bollocks. Comes from the fact that a dog’s bollocks are so fantastic that he can’t stop licking them! Nice huh? Often shortened to just “The dog’s”. Dog’s dinner - If you make a real mess of something it might be described as a real dog’s dinner. A bit like some joint Anglo-American approaches to Eastern Europe for example! Donkey’s years - Someone said to me the other day that they hadn’t seen me for donkey’s years. It means they hadn’t seen me for ages. Excuse me - This is a great one! It’s what kids are taught to say when they belch in public. We are also taught to say “pardon me” if we fart out loud. Unfortunately in American “excuse me” means you are encroaching in someone’s personal space and you say “pardon me” when you don’t hear someone properly. Imagine our surprise when we discovered that actually Americans are not belching and farting all the time. Fanny - This is the word for a woman’s front bits! One doesn’t normally talk about anyone’s fanny as it is a bit rude. You certainly don’t have a fanny pack, or smack people on their fannys - you would get arrested for that! Careful use of this word in the UK is advised! Fanny around - I’m always telling people to stop fannying around and get on with it. It means to procrastinate. Drives me mad!

Fit - Fit is a word that I have heard a lot recently - it seems to be making a comeback. A fit bird means a girl who is pretty good looking or tasty! A fit bloke would be the male equivalent. Flog - To Flog something is to sell it. It also means to beat something with a whip, but when your wife tells you she flogged the old TV it is more likely she has sold it than beaten it (hopefully!). Fluke - If something great happened to you by chance that would be a fluke. When I was a kid my Mum lost her engagement ring on the beach and only realised half way home. We went back to the spot and she found it in the sand. That was a fluke. Flutter - I like to have a flutter on the horses. It means to have a bet, usually a small one by someone who is not a serious gambler. Gander - When I was a kid, my Dad often used to go off for a gander when we were visiting a new town or village. It means to look around. Get lost! - Politely translated as go away, this is really a mild way of telling someone to f*** off! Get stuffed! - Even politer way to tell someone to get lost is to tell them to get stuffed. However, this is still not a nice thing to say to someone. Give us a bell - This simply means call me. You often hear people use the word “us” to mean “me”. Goolies - If you have been kicked in the goolies, your eyes would be watering and you would be clutching your balls! Grub - Food. Similar to nosh. I remember my Dad calling “grub’s up”, when dinner was ready as a kid. A grub is also an insect larva. Not usually eaten in England. Actually is available in some Australian restaurants!

Gutted - If someone is really upset by something they might say that they were gutted. Like when you are told that you have just failed your driving test! Hanky panky - Hanky panky - or “slap and tickle” as some older folks call it - would be making out in America. Hard - After your 20 pints of lager, the curry or the doner, your average 20 year old feels hard. Since his male organ has no chance of working at this stage, hard clearly refers to something else - it means he is ready to fight anything or anybody or to take on any bet. This is the time to make fun of drunken lads by betting them they can’t jump off the end of the pier, hang on to the back of a bus etc. Her Majesty’s pleasure - When visiting England, try to avoid being detained at Her Majesty’s pleasure. This means being put in prison with no release date! Hiya - Short for hi there, this is a friendly way of saying hello. Honking - Honking is being sick or throwing up. Presumably this is a problem in New York where there are signs on the streets that say “No Honking”. How’s your father? - This is a very old term for sex which plays on our apparent British sensitivity. Rather than saying the actual “sex” word you could refer to having a bit of How’s your Father, instead - nudge, nudge, wink, wink. The sort of old fashioned saying dragged up by Austin Powers. Hump - If you have got the hump it means you are in a mood. If you are having a hump, it means you are having sex. Care is advised when you try using these words for the first time. It could be embarrassing! Irony/sarcasm - The cornerstones of British humour. This is one of the biggest differences between the nations. The sense of humour simply doesn’t translate too well. Jammy - If you are really lucky or flukey, you are also very jammy. It would be quite acceptable to call your friend a jammy b****rd if they won the lottery. Khazi - Another word for the toilet. Our version of your bathroom. Kip - A short sleep, forty winks, or a snooze. You have a kip in front of the telly on a Sunday afternoon. Knackered - The morning after twenty pints and the curry, you’d probably feel knackered. Another way to describe it is to say you feel shagged. Basically worn out, good for nothing, tired out, knackered. Knees up - If you’re having a knees up, you’re going to a dance or party. Knob - Yet another word for your willy. Knockers - Another word for breasts. Knuckle sandwich - If somebody offers you a knuckle sandwich you’d be best to decline the offer and leave at the next convenient moment. It isn’t some British culinary delight - they’re about to thump you in the face. Love bite - You call them hickies - the things you do to yourself as a youngster with the vacuum cleaner attachment to make it look like someone fancies you! Lurgy - If you have the lurgy it means you are ill, you have the Flu. Don’t go near people with the lurgy in case you get it!

Luvvly-jubbly - Clearly another way of saying lovely. Made famous by the TV show Only Fools and Horses. Mate - Most chaps like to go to the pub with their mates. Mate means friend or chum. Mug - If someone is a bit of a mug, it means they are gullible. Most used car salesmen rely on a mug to show up so they can sell something! Naff - If something is naff, it is basically uncool. Anoraks are naff, salad cream is also naff. You could also use it to tell someone to naff off, which is a politer way of telling them to f*** off! Nice one! - If someone does something particularly impressive you might say “nice one”! to them. It is close the Texan good job that you hear all the time. Nick - To nick is to steal. If you nick something you might well get nicked. Nicked - Something that has been stolen has been nicked. Also, when a copper catches a burglar red handed he might say “you’ve been nicked”! Nookie - Nookie is the same as hanky panky. Something you do with your bird! Nowt - This is Yorkshire for nothing. Similarly owt is Yorkshire for anything. Hence the expression “you don’t get owt for nowt”. Roughly translated as “you never get anything for nothing” or “there’s no such thing as a free lunch”. On about - What are you on about? That’s something you may well hear when visiting the UK. It means what are you talking about? On the piss - If you are out on the piss, it means you are out to get drunk, or to get pissed. On your bike - A very polite way of telling someone to f*** off. Pants - This is quite a new expression - I have no idea where it came from. Anyway, it is now quite trendy to say that something which is total crap is “pants”. For instance you could say the last episode of a TV show was “total pants”. Pardon me - This is very amusing for Brits in America. Most kids are taught to say “pardon me” if they fart in public or at the table etc. In America it has other meanings which take us Brits a while to figure out. I thought I was surrounded by people with flatulence problems! Pear shaped - If something has gone pear shaped it means it has become a disaster. It might be preparing a dinner party or arranging a meeting, any of these things can go completely pear shaped. Piece of cake - I remember saying it’s a piece of cake in front of one of my American friends, who then started looking around for the cake! It means it’s a cinch! Piss up - A piss up is a drinking session. A visit to the pub. There is an English expression to describe someone as disorganised which says that he/she could not organise a piss up in a brewery! Pissed - This is a great one for misunderstanding. Most people go to the pub to get pissed. In fact the object of a stag night is to get as pissed as possible. Getting pissed means getting drunk. It does not mean getting angry. That would be getting pissed off!

Plastered - Another word for loaded. In other words you have had rather too much to drink down your local. It has nothing to do with being covered with plaster though anything is possible when you are plastered. Porkies - More cockney rhyming slang. Short for “porky pies”, meaning “pork pies”. Rhymes with lies. My Mum always used to tell me I was telling porkies! And she was right! Posh - Roughly translates as high class, though if you look at Posh Spice there are clearly exceptions to the rule! Comes from the cabins used by the upper class on early voyages from England to India. The coolest (and most expensive cabins) were Port side on the way Out and Starboard on the way Home. Potty - This isn’t just the thing you sit a toddler on - if you are potty it means you are a little crazy, a bit of a looney, one card short of a full deck. Prat - Yet another mildly insulting name for someone. In fact, this one is a bit ruder than pillock so you probably wouldn’t say it in front of Grandma. Pukka - This term has been revived recently by one of our popular young TV chefs. It means super or smashing, which of course is how he describes all his food. Pull - Me and the lads used to go to the disco when we were on the pull. It means looking for birds. Of course, it works the other way round too. The ladies may also be on the pull, though probably a bit more subtly than the chaps! Put a sock in it - This is one way of telling someone to shut up. Clearly the sock needs to be put in their loud mouth! Quid - A pound in money is called a quid. It is the equivalent to the buck or clam in America. A five pound note is called a fiver and a ten pound note is called a tenner. Really - This is one of those words where you say almost the same thing as us, but just can’t be fagged to finish it off. The word is “really”, not real. You say things like it’s real hot, something’s real cool, a baby is real cute. If we said that we would be sent to the back of the class for our grammar - or lack of it!

Round - When you hear the words “your round” in the pub, it means it is your turn to buy the drinks for everyone in the group - nothing to do with the size of your tummy! Since beers are more and more expensive these days, the art of buying the rounds has developed into ensuring you buy the first one before everyone has arrived, without being obvious! Row - Rhymes with “cow” this means an argument. You might hear your Mum having a row with your Dad, or your neighbours might be rowing so loud you can hear them! Rubbish - The stuff we put in the bin. Trash or garbage to you. You might also accuse someone of talking rubbish. Sad - This is a common word, with the same meaning as naff. Used in expressions like “you sad b***ard”. Skive - To skive is to evade something. When I was a kid we used to skive off school on Wednesdays instead of doing sports. We always got caught of course, presumably because the teachers used to do the same when they were fourteen! Slapper - A slapper is a female who is a bit loose. A bit like a slag or a tart. Probably also translates into tramp in American. Slash - Something a lager lout might be seen doing in the street after his curry - having a slash. Other expressions used to describe this bodily function include; siphon the python, shake the snake, wee, pee, piss, piddle and having a jimmy. Smeg - This is a rather disgusting word, popularised by the TV show, Red Dwarf. Short for smegma, the dictionary definition says it is a “sebaceous secretion from under the foreskin”. Now you know why it has taken me 3 years to add it in here. Not nice! Rather worryingly smeg is also the name of a company that makes ovens!!! Sod - This word has many uses. My father always used to say “Oh Sod!” or “Sod it!” if something went wrong and he didn’t want to swear too badly in front of the children. If someone is a sod or an “old sod” then it means they are a bit of a bastard or an old git. “Sod off” is like saying “piss off” or “get lost” & “sod you” means something like “f*** off”. It also means a chunk of lawn of course. You can usually tell the difference! Sod all - If you are a waiter in America and you serve a family of Brits, the tip is likely to be sod all or as you would call it - nothing. Because we don’t know about tipping. Sod’s law - This is another name for Murphy’s law - whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. Sorted - When you have fixed a problem and someone asks how it is going you might say “sorted”. It’s also popular these days to say “get it sorted” when you are telling someone to get on with the job. Spend a penny - To spend a penny is to go to the bathroom. It is a very old fashioned expression that still exists today. It comes from the fact that in ladies loos you used to operate the door by inserting an old penny. Ta - We said “ta” as kids in Liverpool for years before we even knew it was short for thanks. Taking the piss - One of the things Americans find hardest about the Brits is our sense of humour. It is obviously different and is mainly based on irony, sarcasm and an in-built desire to “take the piss”. This has nothing to do with urine, but simply means making fun of someone.

And on that note ...... 19

One Girl’s Story.... Jamie Renae I discovered the pleasures of female clothing somewhere between 10 - 12 years old. It was a full slip that my mother had left in the bathroom. All I had to do was slide it over my bare legs to discover the pleasures of nylon. From there I started experiencing the thrill of sneaking into her closet and just sitting on the floor underneath the collection of dresses. I would run my hands over the material and get completely aroused. Several years later I had rescued some of the “give away” clothes and stashed them in the bottom of a drawer in my bedroom. When the opportunity arose, I would lock the door and put on the dress or blouse, letting the fabric fall over my shoulders. I got pretty good at sewing up the garments by hand, so that they would fit better. During High School I managed to rescue a few items that my girlfriends would leave in my car. I was still small enough to slip them on. After entering the Military, I got married for the first time. That is when things began to gain momentum. I was starting to get quite a collection of women’s clothes. They were mostly used things that I had picked out of Salvation Army, Goodwill and D.A.V boxes. I kept everything stashed in a cardboard barrel that had a locking lid. My first wife didn’t ever know about my habits, as far as I know. I am sure that my oldest son would know if he could remember that far back. He was less than two years old when his daddy would strut around the bedroom in a dress. After leaving the Military, I had another son, and got divorced. Those were tough times. I lived by myself for a while so I was able to enjoy my wardrobe. After I met my second wife, I decided I could stop dressing and threw away all that I had collected. So much for that plan, within a couple of years I started to slip into my wife’s clothes when she was gone. It was pretty easy, she worked days and I worked nights. I also started to buy some new things of my own, including a wig. One evening my wife decided, for whatever reason, to put makeup on me. I was ecstatic inside. From that time on things progressed. I finally told her about my desires. She didn’t handle it very well. That pretty well ended that marriage. I was back on my own again, with a very sizable wardrobe. I had been introduced to makeup and wigs. Being an amateur photographer I proceeded to make a photo history. It was really scary looking at those early pictures. Before long I had met another very nice woman. This time, I told her up front about my desires. She didn’t seem to be moved much either way. We got married a couple of years later. I again thought that I would be able to stop dressing, and pretty well destroyed my whole wardrobe. I still miss some of the things I lost in that purge.

As time passed, the lure of the closet overwhelmed me. My wife had a good selection of nice clothes. I also started to buy new things again. Being in a job that required a security clearance, I was very careful to keep my dressing securely inside. My wife was getting accustomed to seeing my female wardrobe in our closet. I also started wearing a nightgown to bed every night. When we both went out of town, I would take a couple of outfits along. I got to put on a skirt, blouse, slip, bra and panties after a visit to the hot tub. (I had to get dressed in something). As time passed I gave my alter ego a name. Jamie Renae had a very nice ring to it, plus it matched my initials. I could actually sign my femme name so it looked like my real name, no middle name used. I continued in this fashion for several years. One night, during one of my wife’s out of town trips, I was surfing the Internet, looking for wigs. In the search results was a site for Transgendered. Pandora’s box flew open. I started reading the web sites of many T.G.s. I soon discovered that I was not alone in the world of crossdressing. There was another Jamie in my town. I emailed her and set up a meeting. We finally arranged to meet at another girl’s apartment (Lisa). Other than driving down to the video store at 5:00 in the morning, this would be my first time out as Jamie Renae. I was soooo nervous I could hardly get my nails on. That first meeting was one of the major highlights in my life. I was among friends and sisters. What a feeling of relief. The group I got introduced to was a mixture of Pre and post op Transsexuals and male to female and female to male crossdressers. A wonderful and very supportive group of ladies and gentlemen. To this day I think of them often. My wife was not a happy person when she found out that I had gone out in public enfemme. There were some tough conversations. She finally saw that I was not going to leave and become a full-fledged woman. I finally got her to come with me to a support meeting; I went in “boy mode”. She got her first look at the rest of the TG world. After that we managed to go out with Lisa and Jamie a couple of times to dinner. What a blast it was to be out on the town with other TG girls. Alas, change is a constant. We retired from our jobs and moved to NW Arkansas. Saying goodbye to my Sisters was a hard thing to do. We have found a TriEss group in Springfield Mo. (Sigma Mu) that supports couples. I think my wife has come to grips with Jamie. She still rolls her eyes sometimes when I come out of the bedroom completely dressed.

I have come to the point now that I want to be of assistance to others that are trying to come to grips with their “Femme self”. All I can offer is a good ear and maybe some insights related to my past experiences. If you have managed to read this complete story, God bless you. If there are any questions that you may have, please don’t hesitate to ask. I can assure you that anything said will stay confidential. I know what a wrong word to the wrong person can do to marriages and careers.

Jamie sent me such wonderful stories that I felt that we should continue, so here you are xx (Ed) Since I have moved to Northwest Arkansas, things have been moving along at a pretty good clip. After joining Sigma Mu and starting to attend meetings in Springfield Mo. I have gotten involved in TriEss to a much larger extent. Rachael was an inspiration to me, in a sense. She was the leader of the group when I joined. She was a very nice person, in boy and girl mode She was also very nice looking and quite passable. It wasn’t long until I was really enjoying my newfound Sisters. Another Sister, Jay, and I decided to go to Houston Texas, for our first Holiday Enfemme. This is an annual TriEss convention where you get to stay a girl for four days. We stayed at a very plush hotel in Houston Texas. There were a whole bunch of “Ladies” there. I found that most Cross Dressers were very nice people. I met one in particular that would eventually change my life. After spending 4 days as Jamie I had to get back into Boy mode and go home. That was a minor letdown, but it was still quite an experience. After Houston, I was determined to improve my appearance, it seems like a life long effort. I continued attending meetings at Springfield and working on my ‘ladylike presentation”. I was still doing pictures and videos to see how I looked out of my “minds eye”. A video camera is a very good tool. I was able to walk and talk as a girl, I was getting pretty good at it. I also was able to model all of my outfits, so that I could see how they really looked. I still do that to this day.

In Nov 2000 I decided to attend a different convention. There was an event called Fall Harvest 2000 in St. Louis Mo. This was not a TriEss function. It was a more “open” event for Cd’ and Ts’s. I drove to St. Louis, in boy mode, and met up with a new Sister from Long Island. This was to be her first time out in public. We ended up having a BLAST. Barbara really had a great time. So did Jamie. I even met a girl that I had known in Colorado. The following spring, my wife and I decided to hit the road and see some more of the Country. We started out in S.E. Texas in our motor home. We were close to Houston, so we decided to pay a visit to the TriEss group there. We went to a meeting and my wife got to meet several other wives and their husbands. These were very nice people. I think that she had a major change of heart that weekend. Since then she has been a lot more participative with Jamie. After Texas we went to Colorado to spend the rest of the summer. I met another CD there and we got to know each other some. Before long Tootsey and I were headed to Denver to do some shopping and having dinner. We were very well received by everyone we came in contact with. At one restaurant we had finished eating and were taking each other’s when the gentleman in the next booth offered to take a picture of us together. As I was waiting for Tootsey to finish in the ladies room I noticed a woman staring at me. I looked her in the eye and gave her a big smile, which she returned. Tootsey and I spent a lot of time together that summer. I think we both got a lot more comfortable with our Femme selves. I credit those days for where I am now. After we returned from Colorado our next event was “Holiday Enfemme” in Chicago. This time my wife went with me. Jamie got to drive from NW Arkansas to Chicago. That was a very exciting drive. We checked into the hotel and had another great 4 days. We met up with some other couples we had met earlier and had a very nice time. During the summer we had arranged to take a cruise around the Caribbean for 7 days. We were part of a 20-person group of CDs, some with spouses, on a Ship of about 2200 people. Jamie drove to Galveston and stayed enfemme for the whole cruise, except for the times we went ashore in Mexico and Grand Caymen. Even with the increased security, after 9-11, I was not given any trouble traveling as Jamie.

Just prior to the cruise, I started a new phase of my femme self. I had the opportunity to start giving “Outreach” presentations at The University of Arkansas. I visited my first class in late November of 2001. Since that time I have continued to visit two different classes at the University. This has had a major effect on my confidence. I have come to a point where I can just take a day and go into town and shop or get a wig worked on without worrying about getting made. It just isn’t an issue anymore. I do love it when a sales clerk says ”thank you m’am” or Ms …… I have never had anyone say anything negative, or had a negative experience. It seems that people just are not paying attention, that much. I spent the summer of 2003 in Colorado again and Tootsey and Jamie had another great time, shopping and dining. We even got together with two other girls and played a round of golf. Had a great time, until the afternoon storms chased us off the course. I guess this all leads up to me telling you that it is not a “Jungle” out there, as long as you think like a woman and stay out of places that you shouldn’t be in. Being out in public, dressed appropriately, is absolutely the most fun a CD can have. I will continue to grow as a person. I feel that Jamie has helped me find that “center of balance” that I have been missing for so long. I do feel that any Transgender person can do the same.

Cruiser Test On Wednesday the 29th, Jamie did another first. I had gone into Fayetteville to get some after Christmas business done and while I was in town, I decided to go visit a car dealership. My Wife and I have been discussing replacing the Honda, that we tow behind the Motorhome and I also drive on a daily basis. She had mentioned a PT Cruiser, instead of another Honda. Since I had never set in one, much less driven one, I wanted to go see what they were like. So Jamie goes to the local Chrysler dealer and parks the car . She then walks down the line of new cars to the Cruisers. A salesman approached and introduced himself. I ask him if these were the new Cruisers and he replied that they were. He then smiled real big and asked me my name. I told him my name was Jamie, and we shook hands. I told him that I was looking for the used (pre-owned) Cruisers. He led me back to the other lot and proceeded to show me the inventory. We chatted about car things, like, was the Honda paid for, and was I wanting to trade it. He also explained that he had lived in Las Vegas for some years, prior to coming to NWA. During all of this idle gossip, he showed me all of the different options and equipment on the Cruisers. He then asks me if I would like to drive one, so I said yes. Since I had never been in one before. He drove it to the front of the showroom and let me get in the drivers seat, after adjusting the seat and holding the door for me. We took off and I gave it a good test drive (without acting too much like a Man), I ask questions about the operation of different equipment and he was very good at answering my questions. After I parked the Cruiser back beside my Honda, he ask me what I thought and I told him that I was going to go look at the Hondas before I made a decision. I then got into my Honda and drove away. From the time that he introduced himself till I closed the door on my car, to leave, he was a perfect gentleman. I was treated like the Lady I was hoping to portray. Not once did he skip a beat in our conversation. I feel the he had things figured out (pretty well) but was not going to ask, just in case he might be wrong. His actions were those of a very dedicated car salesman. I am sure that he would have set down with me and arranged all of the necessary papers for a purchase, if I was so inclined. This episode was just more justification that shows that we can be out in public, as long as we are dressed appropriately, and behave in a lady like manner. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I guess the next episode will be when I go back, in Boy mode, to purchase something, if I decide to. That would be the â&#x20AC;&#x153;True Testâ&#x20AC;? of a dedicated salesman. As an added note, I did end up buying a PT Crusier. It was from a different dealer, due to a very good bargain. J.R.

First Time Outreach Fall 2001

It all started with a strong desire to help others get through what I had just come through a few years earlier. After starting a website and getting the first hits from other cross dressers, I was on my way. I was going to be able to give something back. After a time I was introduced to the term “Outreach” . I thought any C.D that did that had to be very confident with herself. I decided that I would set that confidence as my new goal. Some time later, and many outings, I finally found the strength to proceed with starting my journey in Outreach. To me, it was the best way to let people know that we, as Cross Dressers, were just regular people that had some different differences than others. I proceeded to do some research at the University of Arkansas web site. Since I live in the Fayetteville area, it was the logical starting point. After compiling a list of Professors in the Psychology and Sociology fields, I drafted a cover letter explaining what I was wanting to do. There were 26 separate letters that were going to be mailed to each individual Professor. As I was getting the literature, from Jane Ellen, put together, all Hell broke loose in New York and the mail became very unhealthy in some places. I was worried that if the Professors received a letter where the post mark and return address didn’t match, they might do something counter productive. I was using the TriEss return address. Such as turning it over to Security or just trashing it. I decided to send the whole batch to Jane, in Houston, and have the letters mailed from there. Of course, during this same time I was trying to decide on an appropriate outfit to wear to such an occasion. I had decided that a “business” type of dress would be my choice. I already had a couple of possibilities but my Wife and I were shopping in Dillard’s at the sale racks and we found a Plum colored dress and jacket by Liz Clairborne. It was just what I was looking for. I got the “approval to purchase” and took it home with me.

In just a few days after Jane had mailed the letters, I got an Email from her that I had received a reply from one of the Professors. I emailed the Professor with some questions I had about her class. She responded very positively and I knew I was on the way. Since I worked in the area, I decided to do some reconnaissance. I found a few options for parking and scoped out the building I was going to visit. I finally visited the Professor’s office, in boy mode, and introduced myself. She was very nice and we had a great chat. Her desire was to have me visit a Sociology “Families” class before the end of the semester. That was cutting it pretty close, since I was going to Holiday Enfemme in November, then Thanksgiving was coming up and I was also going on the Dignity Cruise in early December. That would leave no time afterwards. The semester would be in finals by the time I got home. I decided that the 27th of November was the only time I had to make this work, and I wanted to make it work the first time. By now I was “wound up real tight”. I got all of my presentation printed out on note cards and TriEss literature sorted out. The 27th was on a Tuesday and the class was at 5 :30 pm. I had already arranged to take the afternoon off from work ,so that I could get put together. On Monday the weather took a turn for the worse. They were talking freezing rain by Tuesday evening. On Monday I stopped by the Professors office and assured her that I would make it if at all possible. After all, my first time out in Colorado Springs, 3 Y2 years earlier, was in a driving snow storm. Weather was not going to deter this girl. I did make a change in wardrobe though. I just couldn’t see me walking down the street in a knee length dress with a cold wind blowing. I elected to wear a pair of dress slacks with a long sleeved T neck and short vest with a pair of ankle boots, I knew I would stay warm. As I was driving into town that evening, I just couldn’t believe I was actually doing this. I had a good conversation with the “Man upstairs” and thanked him for giving me the strength to carry this out and keeping the freezing rain away. I found a close parking place and walked a short walk to the building. There were some students on the way, but I didn’t have any problems. I got to the Professors office a few minuets early, so we had some time to get used to each other. The time had finally come, so we headed of to the classroom. Fortunately, for me, the class was small, only 10 or 12 students. They had been forewarned, so they were all there that evening. I introduced myself and we all sat at our desks in a circle facing each other. There was quite an age span in this class. There were several college age students plus a few older ladies, one around my age, fiftyish. As I was going through my biography we would stop and discuss different things. I got very comfortable very quickly. After I had finished, we all had a question and answer session. I had answers for all of them, much to my amazement The questions were all very intelligent and varied. I have to say that I was very impressed with these people. Here we are in the middle of “Razorback Country” and a Cross Dresser was being accepted as “sort of a regular person”. There was one male student that was pursuing a Law Enforcement major, that was very impressed and ask some very good questions. I regret to say that I had a “Brain Lapse” and didn’t ask if he would talk to his Professor and see if I could visit one of the Law Enforcement classes. I did get several suggestions on other classes that I hadn’t thought of initially. The Professor was also very impressed, so I will be doing more of her classes in the spring and summer semesters.

I walked out of class with two young ladies answering more questions as we walked. They said that they had seen me crossing the street before class. I have always said that it is the Girls that make us first They went on up the street and I headed to my car. It was dark by then and I managed to find a hole. As I put my foot to the bottom of it, I pretty well lost my Feminine composure. I picked myself up and checked for grass stains on my slacks and headed to the car. As I approached the car I used my remote to unlock the doors. I set my briefcase in the back seat and then realized that I didn’t have my purse. I locked the car and backtracked my steps. There was my purse where I had stepped in the hole. I did the feminine thing and checked the contents for cell phone wallet and lipstick. This action brought a chuckle. I guess I fulfilled the role pretty good. I drove home without any other surprises. I have to say that that evening was one of my “Milestones of Life”. If any of you have ever considered doing Outreach with an organization, don’t put it off. It is one of the most important things we can do to help our Sisters of the future. We all do small-scale outreach each time we go out in public, but this kind of coverage is an investment in the future. It is also a great confidence builder. I left for Galveston and the Dignity Cruise with a renewed confidence. That, of course, is a whole other story.

H H II D D II N N G G

QOTM

the girl within

I’ve never written for Narcisse, or any other Trans publication before but when I received an email from Mandy pleading for someone to step forward and tell stories of old hiding places I volunteered. I guess it is something we all have experience of so I’m assuming that many of my ‘secret places’ will sound familiar to others. And those that don’t may prove useful to others. When I was younger and living at home with my parents, keeping my clothes hidden was a real challenge. While I didn’t have many, my wardrobe did grow gradually and invention was needed. I began buying (and hiding) clothes from about the age of 12 and initially hid them in a padlocked sports bag in my wardrobe which was then placed underneath all sorts of junk. My wardrobe eventually outgrew this and I discovered a great hiding place in the bathroom; by removing the bath panel and hiding items in bin liners behind it. No one ever rumbled that one but again, space was limited. While the sports bag and the bath were working fine, I now needed another place and my parents came to the rescue when they donated an old desk to the cause of my studies. An old style desk with locking drawers which (you guessed it) became by new, additional hide away. Soon it was time to head off to university and I had the problem of moving my clothes to my new, shared home. A big suitcase with all my boy stuff got them out of the house and I soon had them hidden away in my new place, benefitting from a lock on my room door. With the lock on the room door I got a little lazy and started just hanging clothes in the wardrobe or folding them in drawers. It wasn’t long before I suffered my first case of ‘discovery’ when I nipped to the toilet leaving my door ajar and one of my housemates decided to use the moment to pop into my room to borrow something; I forget what. When I returned from the loo, he was sitting on my bed with a dirty grin on his face asking whose the clothes in the wardrobe were. He had obviously figured it out but I went bright red and blurted out that they were my girlfriends. Of course, he had never seen me with a girlfriend, much less one that slept over. He just said “yeah, right” and left my room. To my amazement he never told anyone. I was soon on the phone to my parents begging them to bring my desk down to help with my studying and, after much pleading, they agreed. I once again had my locking drawers. After graduating I lived in a succession of rented places on my own and had no need of hiding, the only visitors tending to be boyfriends who (obviously) knew about that side of me.

Things changed in the last couple of years when I have had a live in job and I have returned to secrecy, remembering how easily a ‘private’ room can be entered by someone else. I still have locking drawers but the other ‘weapon of stealth’ that I use is suit bags, the type you can buy at any dry cleaners. I hang my clothes in the wardrobe in these with something male at the front, hidden in plain view if you like. This works fine and keeps my clothes in far better condition. I’m looking for a new job now, principally because I want my own life back and need to earn enough to pay for my own place so I can be me when I want. Wish me luck!

Since my wife is still unaware of my desire to cross dress after 25 years, I can’t keep my girl stuff at home. So, I have found an indoor storage facility, where I have plenty of space to keep everything in a climate controlled locker. For $16 a month, I have a 4x4x6 locker, where I can hang my clothes, organize my shoes, and keep everything else in boxes, ready to go. I truly recommend a similar arrangement for any girl who has doubts about keeping her clothes hidden at home. I once stored my items in the rafters in the garage, but when one of the slats broke and a bag fell to the ground (luckily my wife was not at home), I decided to make other arrangements. I also lost a dear friend about two years ago, when she did not heed my advise. She had kept her clothes in storage, but due to the cost, decided to hide them home. Well, within a month, her spouse caught her dressing at home, found the clothes and to make a long story short, their marriage ended in a divorce. So my recommendation for those who are in the same situation as I am, Play It Safe. Get a storage locker. You will sleep better at night. Love, Carollyn Faith Olson

Years ago, when Julie was still deeply closeted and I was hiding “her” from my spouse, I hid my femme things in a large plastic trash bag in the crawl space under my house -- and deep inside the space, so nobody could look in the opening and see things there. (That’s when I felt that the decency police did cruise through neighborhoods looking for these sorts of things!) Of course, the contortions I had to go through to shimmy through that little opening and get to the stuff made it a challenge. Best of all, the field mice never discovered the nice pile of soft clothing to nest in! I’ve made it to the big time now, as I have an old chest freezer that I installed a padlock on to stash stuff there. Even though my spouse discovered Julie a decade ago, she’s still not accepting, so I adhere to the “out of sight out of mind” theory. But this is easier to get to and holds quite a lot. The little shelf over where the compressor is located is perfect for Styrofoam wig heads! Julie Graham VC 347

Probably the most unique place I hid my wardrobe was in a small knee wall which was created when a dormer was added to the attic and the attic converted to two bedrooms. it had a light and a bar for hanging cloths. I put a lock on it. Nothing obvious like a pad lock but a door knob with a key lock. Served well until I out grew it. Hugs, Rene’ V.C. 452

I hid my pretties in storage boxes amidst my back issues of “Air & Space” and “Flying” magazines. No one else in the house had the slightest interest in those publications ... LOL! Brenda VC 491

When I was in the Army, I had a Top Secret clearance and worked with something that made a huge boom. As a result, our cars, barracks, etc were searched quite often. I had a little station wagon style car and found that if you lifted the speakers out of the rear panels there was a huge amount of space under them. So, I used to hide lots of stuff inside the molding of my car under the speakers.

Kimberly Huddle VC 503

In a large trunk.....locked with only one key (lost the other)...... Heather Michaels

As a youngster my exposure to the wide & wonderful world of transgenderism was extremely limited, if not non-existent. I knew I liked girls clothes but didn’t know enough to realize that that wasn’t “normal” for little boys. The first time I was able to put this into any kind of perspective was when a friend gave me a book describing all kinds of sexual “perversions”. I don’t recall how old I was but I do recall that, at whatever age, this book seemed like pretty hot stuff and needed to be well-hidden. I racked my brains, searched the house for hiding places and eventually ended up in our finished, carpeted attic where I rolled back the carpet, pried up a floor board & stashed the book under the floor. Every so often, I’d go up to the attic, close the door, retrieve my book and learn some new words. There was a chapter on eonism. It was from reading this book that I came to realize that I was an “eonist” - the word that was used back then for transvestite. Possible the book was written by Havelock Ellis who coined the term eonism after the Chevalier d’Eon, a French politician who was born a man but lived much of his life, including the time he spent in the court of Catherine the Great, as a woman. I sometimes wonder if the new owners of that house ever found the book. As far as I know it’s still there - 60 (?) years later. Hugs Lena 33

I had clothes hidden all over the place early on. Later on when I was into old cars I hid my stash in the trunk of a ‘56 Ford I owned. I told everyone that I didn’t have the keys to that car so I had no idea what might be in the trunk since I couldn’t open it. More recently I used two old steamer trunks in the attic of my barn. Now that my wife knows, They’re in a spare closet in the house Lisa Harris

As a kid, at home my “other me” now my “current me” was hidden in a tall skinny box in my closet that I shared with my brother. The top couple of inches were filled with some of my books that I knew he’d never have any interest in. Worked pretty well, till I was about 19 and only coming home weekends from college and my Mom and brother decided to do some spring cleaning! Oy. Later on during marriage number 1 (the nonsupporting one) I kept “...me” in 2 large double upped black plastic leaf bags, stashed in a section of the cellar that only I ever went into... Not so crafty, but as Lilly Tomlin used to say... “.. and that’sth the truththth “. Linda In the basement. The laundry room was unfinished. The family room was. At the top of the wall in the laundry room, between some wall studs, between two joist and on top of the “ceiling” to the family room. One, my wife would never think of looking there and two, it required a step ladder to access.. Gianna 34

At Sparkle 2008 I enjoyed a drink and a chat with Audrey Hepburn. Obviously not the original, this Audrey Hepburn name and would-be dress-alike, is a 6’6” unemployed security worker, build like the proverbial latrine door. And still – apart from stolen weekends like this one – as the expression goes, still hidden in his closet, Or should I say hidden in his organ. Or should it be her organ (now I’m confused). Perhaps I’d better explain that Audrey keeps his cross-dressing secret, despite sharing a flat with two straight friends. (Well you would wouldn’t you?) And so keeps her stash of femme clothes well-hidden in the back of a disused Organ. A Hammond Upright Mahogany ElectroVoice Organ. When I learned of this, I did rather become aware of a rather crumpled dustiness to Audrey’s look.

Closetta_tv

The Secret Dress By Drew Nield

When you think of WWI or WWII you would never at first put into the same picture either men or women pretending to be the opposite sex. But the truth is quite the opposite, you see quite a few times men and women would don the attire of the opposite sex to get information for the news or to spy and get vital secrets for another country. Here in this article I hope to go a little way into explaining and showing you the wonders of the wartime cross dresser.

Ecaterina Teodoroiu born January 15, 1894 died September 3, 1917, born Cătălina Toderoiu, was a Romanian woman who fought and died in World War I, and is regarded as a heroine of Romania, and all this she achieved while dressed in the uniform of a Romanian man. In Romanian history , Ecaterina Teodoroiu is placed in the same context of gendered experienced of the Great War on the Eastern Front, as that of Queen Maria of Romania.

She was born in the village of Vădeni (nowadays part of Târgu Jiu), in the historical region of Oltenia, in Southern Romania. After studying for 4 years in Vădeni and Târgu Jiu and graduating from the Girls’ School in Bucharest, she was to became a teacher when the Romanian Kingdom entered World War I on the Entente side, in 1916. In October 1916, Ecaterina joined the Romanian Army during the first Jiu battle when General Ion Dragalina’s 1st Army repulsed the 9th German Army offensive. A Scouts’ member, she had initially worked as a nurse but she subsequently decided to become a front-line soldier, being deeply impressed by the patriotism of the wounded and by the death of her brother Nicolae (Sergeant in the Romanian Army). It was an unusual decision for a woman of that epoch, so she was sent to the front rather reluctantly. However, soon she proved her worthiness as a symbol and as a soldier. She was taken prisoner but managed to escape by killing two, or perhaps three German soldiers. . In November, she was wounded and hospitalized, but came back to the front where she was soon decorated, advanced in rank to Sublocotenent (Second Lieutenant) and given the command of a 25-man platoon. For her bravery she was awarded the Military Virtue Medal, 1st Class.On September 3, 1917 (August 22 Old Style), she was killed in the Battle of Mărăşeşti (in Vrancea County), where she was hit in the chest by German machine gun fire. According to some accounts, her last words before dying were: “Forward, men, I’m still with you!”She was buried in the city center of Târgu Jiu, and her grave is honored by a monument erected in 1936 by Miliţa Petraşcu. Her life had started off in one direction but she took what she knew turned it on its head and went to war to become a hero of Europe and her people.

Dorothy Lawrence born 4 October 1896 died on an unknown date in 1964 was an English reporter who secretly posed as a man to become a soldier during the First World War. Lawrence was born in Polesworth, Warwickshire, the second daughter of Thomas Hartshorn Lawrence, a drainage contractor, and his wife, Mary Jane Beddall. In 1914, at the start of the war and aged 19, Dorothy was living in Paris and had a desire to be a war reporter on the front lines, but was unable to get employment because she was a woman, and it was nearly impossible for even male reporters to get to the front line at that time. She recorded in a later autobiography “I’ll see what an ordinary English girl, without credentials or money can accomplish.” (Lawrence, 41-2). She befriended two English soldiers in a café, and they agreed to give her a uniform which they smuggled into her apartment. She bound her chest, padded her back with sacking and cotton, and her friends taught her to drill and march. She persuaded two Scottish military policemen to cut her hair military style and then dyed her skin using diluted furniture polish to give it a bronzed color. With forged identity papers as Private Denis Smith of the 1st Bn, Leicestershire Regiment she headed for the front lines, eventually arriving at the Somme by bicycle. Dorothy Lawrence born 4 October 1896 died on an unknown date in 1964 was an English reporter who secretly posed as a man to become a soldier during the First World War. Lawrence was born in Polesworth, Warwickshire, the second daughter of Thomas Hartshorn Lawrence, a drainage contractor, and his wife, Mary Jane Beddall. In 1914, at the start of the war and aged 19, Dorothy was living in Paris and had a desire to be a war reporter on the front lines, but was unable to get employment because she was a woman, and it was nearly impossible for even male reporters to get to the front line at that time.

She recorded in a later autobiography “I’ll see what an ordinary English girl, without credentials or money can accomplish.” (Lawrence, 41-2). She befriended two English soldiers in a café, and they agreed to give her a uniform which they smuggled into her apartment. She bound her chest, padded her back with sacking and cotton, and her friends taught her to drill and march. She persuaded two Scottish military policemen to cut her hair military style and then dyed her skin using diluted furniture polish to give it a bronzed color. With forged identity papers as Private Denis Smith of the 1st Bn, Leicestershire Regiment she headed for the front lines, eventually arriving at the Somme by bicycle. A Lancashire coalminer named Tom Dunn befriended Dorothy and found her work as a Sapper with the British Expeditionary Force tunnelling company, a mine-laying company within 400 yards (365 m) of the front line, where she was constantly under fire. He found her an abandoned cottage in Senlis Forest to sleep in, and she returned to it each night after laying mines by day. The toll of the job, and of hiding her true identity, soon gave her a case of constant chills and rheumatism. She was concerned that if she was killed her true gender would be discovered and the men who had befriended her would be in danger. After 10 days of service she presented herself to the commanding sergeant, who promptly placed her under military arrest. She was taken to the British Expeditionary Force headquarters and interrogated as a spy and declared a prisoner of war. From there she was taken cross country by horse to Calais where her interrogation occupied the time of six generals and approximately twenty other officers. She was ignorant of the term camp follower (prostitute) and she later recalled “We talked steadily at cross purposes. On my side I had not been informed what the term meant, and on their side they continued unaware that I remained ignorant! So I often appeared to be telling lies.” (Lawrence, 161). From Calais she was taken to Saint-Omer and further interrogated. The Army was embarrassed that a woman had breached security and was fearful of more women taking on male roles during the war if her story got out. She was then taken to the Convent de Bon Pasteur where she swore not to write about her experiences and signed an affidavit to that effect. She was then sent back to London. Back in London she was unable to write of her experiences, which had been her original intent. She later said, “in making that promise I sacrificed the chance of earning by newspaper articles written on this escapade, as a girl compelled to earn her livelihood” (Lawrence, 189). After the war ended she wrote of her experiences, but it was censored by the War Office and not fully published until many years later when discovered by a historian in the archives. Her story became part of an exhibition at the Imperial War Museum on women at war. In 1919, she moved to Canonbury, Islington, but after claiming she had been raped by her church guardian, she was institutionalised as insane in 1925. She died at Friern Hospital (formerly Colney Hatch Lunatic Asylum) in 1964. Little else is known of her life after 1919. So here we see that unfortunately sometimes even with the best intentions it never went the way the people had originally wanted it to go, so there ended the life of poor Dorothy all but forgotten in an asylum. (on a back not the asylum where she ended her days was also home at one time to Jack The Ripper suspect Aaron Kosminski)

More recently during his service as a commando in the elite Sayeret Matkal, Ehud Barak (formerly Ehud Brog) was involved in the 1973 Israeli raid on Lebanon (code-named Operation Spring of Youth) took place on the night of April 9 and early morning of April 10, 1973 when Israel Defense Forces special forces units attacked several Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) targets in Beirut and Sidon, Lebanon. The Israeli Sayeret Matkal forces arrived at the Lebanese beaches in Zodiac boats launched from missile ships offshore. Mossad agents awaited the forces on the beaches with cars rented the previous day, and then drove them to their targets and later back to the beaches for extraction. During the operation, three PLO leaders, surprised at home, were killed, along with other PLO personnel (reports of actual number killed vary from a dozen to 100). Several Lebanese security people and civilian neighbors were also killed. Two Israeli soldiers were killed by defending militants. The main target was a pair of seven-story buildings in the fashionable neighborhood of Verdun in West Beirut. These buildings were residential housing for both British and Italian families amongst other Arab families. The building housed Muhammad Youssef Al-Najjar (Abu Youssef). The second seven story building was on the opposite side of the road and was residential. There were two targets in this building, Kamal Adwan and Kamal Nasser. The team attacking the target was mostly based on Sayeret Matkal commandos, led by then unitcommander Ehud Barak. (Barak later became IDF Chief of Staff and subsequently Prime Minister). The attacking team also included Yonatan Netanyahu, who became unit commander two years later and became known for leading the hostage rescue operation in Entebbe in which he was killed. The team approached the buildings disguised as civilians and couples. (Barak was disguised as a brunette woman.) In the building, the team killed three PLO and Black September leaders:

Muhammad Youssef Al-Najjar (Abu Youssef) - an operations leader in the militant group Black September the group responsible for the 1972 Munich massacre. He was also a PLO veteran, previously head of the Lebanese Fatah branches, head of Fatah internal intelligence organization. His latest duties were head of the PLO’s political department and one of Yasser Arafat’s deputies (third in line of Fatah’s leadership). Kamal Adwan - a PLO chief of operations, responsible for armed militant activities against Israel in the West Bank and the Gaza strip. Kamal Nasser - PLO spokesman and member of the PLO Executive Committee. During the operation, four others were also killed: an Italian woman who resided in the building, Abu Youssef’s wife, and two Lebanese police officers. A separate nearby target was a multi-story building which housed militants of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine. The attacking team had 14 commandos, mainly Sayeret Tzanhanim Commando paratroopers led by Amnon Lipkin-Shahak, who later succeeded Barak as IDF Chief of Staff. The attacking team met strong resistance early on, and two of its soldiers were killed. Despite this resistance, the force was able to bomb the building. Lipkin-Shahak was also decorated for bravery for his conduct in this operation. This was all done by commandos who at times to get past security forces dressed as women of the local community to infiltrate and carry out their missions. Until recently, women have rarely been allowed to serve as soldiers. So what was a gal to do if she wanted to serve her country? Naturally, disguise herself as a man and join the troops. At least 400 Civil War soldiers were women in drag. These included Union Army soldier “Frank Thompson” (also known as Sarah Edmonds), whose small frame and feminine mannerisms (rather than causing suspicion) made her an ideal spy, as she could spy on the Confederates disguised as... a woman! She wasn’t the first woman to don a male disguise and join the army, though. During the Revolutionary War, women fought as men on both sides. Hannah Snell, for example, joined the British army to find her husband, who had walked out on her to enlist.

Once her true sex was discovered (thanks to a pesky groin injury), she became a national celebrity in Britain, and made a post-war career of performing in bars as the “Female Warrior.” Mental Floss: The Confederacy’s plan to conquer Latin America

Muhammad Abdul Aziz is a Pakistani cleric, son of Maulana Muhammad Abdullah and elder brother of Abdul Rashid Ghazi. He is descended from Sadwani clan of Mazari tribe in the town of Rojhan at the border of southern Punjab and Balochistan.[2] He is the Khateeb in the central mosque of Islamabad known as Lal Masjid. His correct name is Maulana Abdul Aziz. He does not add ‘Ghazi’ to his name unlike his younger brother. On July 4, 2007, he was arrested by the Pakistani police as he was trying to escape the complex while dressed in a burqa. Some have said that he was tricked by a senior official of an intelligence agency into donning the Burka on the pretext of having a clandestine meeting with the official. There have been many instances of cross-dressing spies (including Sarah Edmonds, mentioned above), but one of the most impressive deceptions in history was carried out by Shi Pei-Pu, a singer with the Beijing Opera (in which, traditionally, all roles are played by men).

In 1964 he disguised himself as a woman to seduce Bernard Boursicot, an attache in the French Foreign Service. Their affair lasted 20 years (on and off), during which Boursicot passed several official documents to Shi, believing that “her” safety was at risk if he didn’t participate. After they were separated in 1965, Shi came back into Boursicot’s life by claiming to be pregnant, and even revealed a baby boy. They later lived as a family. The happy couple was eventually arrested for espionage in 1983, and Shi’s secret was revealed, Crying Game style, to the stunned Boursicot.

But how did they have this romance for so long without Bousicot knowing the truth? Officially, they rarely made love, and always did it hurriedly and in darkness -- something that Boursicot always ascribed to Shi’s demure Chinese upbringing. One theory, however, is that he always knew the truth, but played dumb to conceal his homosexuality. (He later came out.) The affair was the basis for the play “M. Butterfly.” It was filmed in 1993, starring Jeremy Irons and former Beijing Opera player John Lone (better known for the title role in the film “The Last Emperor”). There has been other occasions of crossdressing during World Wars that was aimed at entertaining the soliders , just after WWI a group of 6 ex servicemen formed a dramatic and operatic group called “Splinters”. Splinters, formed after the First World War, consisted entirely of ex-servicemen. It was produced by Eliot Markeham (who was also in the men’s chorus) and played the Queen’s Theatre in Shaftesbury Avenue and to capacity houses in all the major centres for almost two decade. It went into several editions, made three films and provided a spring board for many of the most successful impersonators working in the years between the two World Wars. Many of them were still working in the 1960s.

Soldiers in Skirts toured throughout World War II and well into the 1950s. These established acts in WWI era were ready and available to join the second generation of all-male revenues that sprang up again after the World War II. The first of these was called We Were in the Forces and opened (while the war was still on) at Warrington in March 1944. As before, the initial promotions suggested that the performers were ex-servicemen recreating for the civilian public the shows they had concocted to amuse themselves while serving. The success of the original show took everyone by surprise; the public flocked and filled the theatres. More and more revues were set up for touring the nation’s theatres. Their titles emphasized the shows’ origins - Soldiers in Skirts, Forces Showboat, and Forces in Petticoats.

This is The Ascot scene from Forces in Petticoats. Danny La Rue is between the two men at the right of the photograph. So as you can see the clothes of ones opposite gender have been donned at many many times both for entertainment and for important wartime missions, so be proud of a institution that has helped make this world as great as it is today. 43

LL YY NN NN SS

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I am proud to be British. I love other countries but this one is home. We have very few natural disasters, although we are not blameless in the present wars by any stretch we suffer comparatively little by them. We have free(ish) health care and education as well as a police force and political system which are by world standards not at all corrupt. Human rights as well as animal rights are much more protected than in the vast majority of other countries. Britain is by no means perfect but sometimes its nice to count our blessings. Being British means being proud of our history, for without it we have nothing to base our future on. It is irrelevant whether we agree with what happened in our country’s past (as I am sure future generations will not like what we are doing now) history is a foundation to build on. If we had not had an Empire would we have such a diverse society as we do now? We need to be proud of all that we achieve. Being British also means in times of adversity getting on with life, supporting those weaker than ourselves, being a friend to others and a help to our neighbours. The British play by the rules, and enjoy Sunday pub lunches and still love cricket on the green. After many cities not wanting to offend other cultures by putting up Xmas lights. After hearing that a certain council changed its opinion and let a Muslim woman have her picture on her driver’s license with her face covered. After hearing of a Primary School where a boy was told that for PE they could wear Football League shirts (Aston Villa, Birmingham, West Brom etc) but NOT an England shirt as it could offend others! Take It Or Leave It I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on London, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Brits. However, the dust from the attacks has barely settled and the politically correct crowd begins complaining about the possibility that our patriotism is offending others. As Britons, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. This culture has been developed over Centuries of wars, struggles, trials and victories fought by the untold masses of men and women who laid down any one of the millions of men and women who have sought freedom. We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language! “In God We Trust” is our National Motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture. If St George’s cross offends you, or you don’t like “A Fair Go”, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet 46

We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don’t care how you did things where you came from. This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our National Motto, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great British freedom, “THE RIGHT TO LEAVE”. With Saint George in my heart keep me singing! I’m English, and I’m proud to be English. We are GREAT Britain, its time we regain the GREAT!!

Now I’ve got off my soapbox and calmed a little, I’d like to offer some more titbits of What It Is to Be British but on a much lighter note (note to Editor…………..you did say I could write what I wanted) (note to Readers…………watch this space get edited……..lol) (note to Editor………….did I mention I love you?? Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. Only in Britain... do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight. Only in Britain... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

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FASHION>>>>>

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In The

PAPERS Transgender activist murdered in Turkey By Staff Writer, PinkNews.co.uk • March 13, 2009 - 12:12 The killing of Ebru Soykan, a prominent transgender human rights activist on March 10th in Istanbul, Turkey, has led to calls for the Turkish government to protect trans people. Soykan, 28, who worked for Lamda Istanbul on ending police violence against trans people, is the second murder victim in the organisation in the last year. In July 2008, 26-year-old Ahmet Yildiz was shot and killed as he was leaving a café near the Bosporus. As yet, no one has been charged. According to Human Rights Watch, Soykan had asked for police protection from a man who had beaten her on several occasions and threatened to kill her. Lambda Istanbul was told that a few weeks ago police detained the man but released him two hours later. The same man is under police custody as the murder suspect. “The Turkish police have a duty to respond to all credible threats of violence, whoever the victim,” said Juliana Cano Nieto, researcher in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender rights programme at Human Rights Watch. “Investigating violence against LGBT people, prosecuting suspects, and passing effective legislation to ensure equality are all critical to ensuring that these murderous abuses end.” Lambda Istanbul has said that in 2007, it submitted a file of 146 cases they had documented to the Istanbul Provincial Human Rights Board, many dealing with reports of violence against transgender people, including cases of violence by the police. Several of these cases had been reported to the police. According to the organisation, the then-deputy governor of Istanbul told Lambda Istanbul that the governor’s office had found no records of these allegations and complaints in the police districts involved. “Until an anti-discrimination law is in place to protect the LGBT community and the police take seriously their duty to protect everyone, these murders will continue,” said Cano Nieto. “Turkey cannot continue to ignore its obligations when lives are at stake.”

Gay comic Graham Norton drags up for Comic Relief By Staff Writer, PinkNews.co.uk • March 14, 2009 - 1:33

Gay comic and television chat show host Graham Norton showcased his role as Albin in La Cage aux Folles on the BBC’s charity fundraiser Comic Relief. Norton dragged up to kick-start his segment of Comic Relief. Despite the recession, the biennial event has surpassed all previous records on fund-raising, at 3:00 am so far raising over £57.8m, greater than the sum raised in 2007. Controversially, during a comedy sketch about Angus Deayton giving his banking details, he said: “f**k yes” to co-host Davina McCall two hours before the 9pm watershed for bad language and sexual content. A BBC spokesperson apologised saying: “within any live programme there is a possibility that something can happen that is not planned.” 61

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A Night Out At By Tara Martel

Located in the heart of King’s Cross’s club and pub area, is London’s latest, new and totally banging tranny venue. It is modeled closely on the Way Out Club format and is very similar to how that was when in its infancy: a truly trendy place to be seen in; where the cream of London’s tranny glamour and trampy gothic punk boogie down! Just like all of the best venues, it is in a basement with a pair of deep alcoves to smooch and share intimate moments with your loved ones… or the ones you’d like to love. Thanks to the Tasty Tara riding the decks, the music is distinctly funky clubby with a touch of industrial glamour though not so loud that you can’t chat, but loud enough to strut your stuff in those sexy new stilettos. The brain child of the gorgeous Chrissy, it is set to become London’s trendiest mecca for all things tranny exactly like their previous incarnation, Pegasus of Birmingham.

“That was just a trial,” said Chrissy, “we needed to make sure that we got the formula exactly right before bringing it to the Capital. It’s so easy to fall flat on your face when you do something like this!” And by using this tried and trusted formula they have got it bang on! I was talking to pair of extraordinarily glamorous ladies who were in evening gowns, feather boas and glittery eyelashes. “It’s so important to make an effort for Paps!” But that is exactly the kind of person you will find in Paps, the weird and the colourful, just like a fancy dress party on acid!!!

There are hopes to expand the concept to Manchester and Birmingham very soon and then to other cities in the near future, so watch out for a Papillon near you soon!

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REPRODUCED BY KIND PERMISSION OF www.naturalhealthnbeauty.com

Ten Steps to Give yourself an at Home Manicure This is a fun, easy, and safe way to achieve polished fingernails without paying the higher beauty store prices when going through these ten steps. This is for adults only, or to do with adult supervision for younger girls, always keeping safety in mind, and always putting the products up safely after use. Before beginning, wash your nails thoroughly, even with the polish on your fingernails. Try mostly to get your nails clean underneath your nail cartilage where it is not attached to the skin before beginning. If you notice growths, tiny knobs under there, or any redness or dirt substance that does not come out from under your fingernail bed, stop this process, and go to see a medical doctor.

You will need: •

1 pack of cotton balls

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1 fingernail polish remover

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1 emery board

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1 nail trimmer

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1 cuticle remover

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1 bottle of fingernail polish

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A couple of paper towels

Nail polish removing. Firstly, take out as many cotton balls as needed one at a time, and safely douse each fingernail with nail polish remover, until your whole fingernail is your natural true color. It is available now at the stores in bottle or sponge form in a bottle. For the sponge type, you have to dip your finger into the container, usually a plastic one, and swish your finger around frequently checking it to make sure your fingernail polish is coming off. For the fingernail polish in the bottle without a sponge embedded in it, you have to carefully tip it about a fourth of the way over using the cotton ball at the top to stop up the top from spilling out all over, and If you need to, you can have some paper towel handy to wipe off any excess fingernail polish remover that spills over as a result. Whichever fingernail polish remover you choose, swab your fingernails one by one until they are your natural color. If you frequently use fingernail polish, your natural nail can become tinted a little of a yellowing color, not to be confused with bold yellow, and not red or green, or swollen. If your fingernails or fingers start to become red, green, or swollen, seek medical attention immediately. If you are doing ok, and your nails are now their natural color, go to step 2.

Filing your nails with an emery board. Next, you should have what is called an emery board. An emery board is usually a very inexpensive fingernail board used for filing down rough nail surfaces that is rough on the surface at least on one side. An emery board should not be used to scrape your natural nail surface at all. It will make your smooth fingernails rough. You can use the emery board quite effectively on the end of your nail, in order to give it a consistent shape and make the tip of your nail smooth, not rough. Emery board comes in all shapes and sizes, and you can even look for one to fit your personality or wardrobe color-wise. As soon as you are done smoothing the tips of your nails in a uniform manner, proceed to the next step 3.

Trimming your fingernails. A fingernail trimmer is used in your home nail process when you want to reshape or shorten your nails more efficiently than with an emery board. You can make your fingernails shorter using fingernail clippers, which are clippers that are small in size designed to fit your nail shape and be able to cut your fingernail tip surface, without having enough force in them to really do massive cutting damage, but still use safety. You should trim your nails at least once a month if they are healthy. Never trim unhealthy, discolored or brittle fingernails. Never trim your nails to the quick, which is the place where your fingernail cartilage meets your skin. Be mindful of safety, even at this stage of the process. If you have hypoglycemia, or any other disease such as Parkinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s or nerves, do not clip your own fingernails if you might have an issue of safety. Some fingernails are hard, and take some sharper fingernail cutters to cut through them. If this is the case with yours, you may want to consider going to a salon or a simple medical visit and have a professional trim them. However, if not, trim away. This is mostly a basic and fun procedure for most people. Then start with step #4.

Cuticle removing. Next, you need to use your cuticle remover to remove your cuticle, or actually push it down. Your cuticle is that soft skin that forms at the bottom of your fingernail at the place where your fingernail cartilage and your skin meet. It is just like a foreskin. Its job is to cover the place where your nail cartilage meets your skin, and make a smooth transition for that to happen. As your fingernails grow, your cuticle skin stretches, and this process of removing your cuticle pushes back that excess to promote your nail growth and health. Again, you would want to check your cuticle area for rashes, redness, swelling, discoloration of any kind, and if any of those issues are present in your cuticle, seek the advice of a medical professional before pushing it back. If you find that it looks pretty much like your fingernail and finger color, but with a different smoother and softer texture, go ahead and push the cuticle back with the cuticle remover, which is a little stick like device with a softer but firm tip made especially for the cuticle. It is not a cutting type tool. It looks a little shorter than a chopstick, but has a necessary soft tipped end to make sure that your cuticle does not get damaged. Push back your cuticles one at a time using the cuticle removing tool. These are available from nearly any beauty supply store, or store that carries fingernail accessories of any kind. These are also relatively inexpensive. It is important to note that if at any time in your process for any reason, if your nails start to bleed mildly or a lot, stop this procedure at once. This is not likely to happen in a normal fingernail manicure, but it may be a nice way of warning you of a problem with your own nails that you may need to get medical attention for.

Pick a color. Now you are ready to pick out a nail polish color from your own home nail polish collection. Pick out a color that matches your skin coloring, outfit styles that you wear, or shade of lipstick. If you polish your nails frequently, make sure that you give them one or two days to air out and breathe naturally to promote healthy nails in between polishes.

Application of finger nail polish color. Each bottle of nail polish comes with itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own applicator inside the bottle, attached to the handle of the fingernail polish bottle. Just unscrew the fingernail polish bottle, and scrape off the excess fingernail polish on the fingernail polish brush applicator on the side of the bottle itself. You can use a paper towel for this process, but you may end up with paper towel residue mixed into your color, so I would not recommend it. Also, you need to make sure that you have a steady hand for this in order to get your finger nail polish on your fingernail area only, not on your skin. Skin always needs to breathe, and cannot with polish on it. When you are ready, take the applicator holding non-dripping color to your nails, brushing from the base of your fingernails upward towards the top tip of your nail. Make sure you coat your whole nail evenly. Starting at the base of the nail and applying polish in an upward motion helps you evenly coat your nail.

Correcting polish mistakes. If you make a mistake, take a paper towel and douse it with nail polish remover as you did with the cotton ball in step one, and try to get the excess polish off your skin using the flat edge of the paper towel. Then, if you need to re-coat that fingernail, go ahead. If not, great. Just move on to the next fingernail until you are done.

Second coats of nail polish. Wait at least ten minutes before applying a second coat. You should not paint over your nails another time unless your nail polish is dry the first time. Without air, or low to medium speed fans blowing on them, it will take about five minutes for your fingernails to dry. Using high-speed fans near your wet nail polish can move your fingernail polish around your fingernail and mess its even coat up.

Quick drying nails. You can buy the quick drying kind of nail polish at the stores, or a quick drying sealer that is clear over the color of your nail polish to quicken drying if you are in a hurry. As a reminder, do not attempt to polish your fingernails in an area that does not have proper ventilation. And do not polish your nails around the face of infants.

Pedicure Tips

A step-by-step guide to help to achieve a professional looking pedicure in your own home, saving time and money. Giving yourself a professional looking pedicure at home is a snap if you follow some simple steps. Pedicures can be done alone of course, but they are so much more fun when you invite a group of girlfriends over for a pedicure party. Here are tips to help you achieve salon quality results without the expense. You need the following materials, which you can find at beauty supply stores: •

Pumice stone or dry skin buffer

•

Toe separators or cotton balls/roll

•

Emory board

•

Cuticle remover

•

Orangewood stick

•

Color nail polish

•

Base coat

•

Top coat

•

Nail polish remover

•

Quick dry spray

•

Nail clippers

•

Dish pan

•

Cotton balls

•

Towels

•

Cuticle nippers, if desired

•

Lotion

•

Nail buffer, if desired

•

Paper pedicure slippers, if desired.

1. Thoroughly saturate a cotton ball with nail polish remover and use it to remove any old polish you may have on your toenails from you last pedicure. Gently pressing the cotton ball on the nail for a moment before wiping the nail with a circular motion will make it easier to remove the polish. 2. Fill the dishpan with enough warm soapy water to cover your feet. Soak for at least five minutes. Note: Whenever you are working on one foot, the other foot should be soaking in the warm water. 3. 3. Dry your foot and apply the cuticle remover at the base of each nail. Wait one minute for the remover to soften the cuticle. Use the wedged end of the orangewood stick to push the cuticle back. If desired, carefully snip off the excess cuticle. Repeat this procedure on the other foot. Note: If you like, you may trim your cuticles with cuticle nippers. I don’t recommend this if you aren’t experienced at it. Once you start trimming cuticles you have to keep doing it every time you give yourself a pedicure. You may nick yourself in the process and bleed. This will not make for a relaxing pedicure experience!

1. Using the nail clippers, cut off any nails that are too long. Length is a personal preference, but make sure the nail is shorter than the toe. Be careful not to cut the nails too short as this can cause ingrown toenails and can be quite painful. With the emery board, file the nail into a square shape. 2. Use the nail buffer to smooth any roughness or ridges on the surface of the nails. 3. Wet the pumice stone in the dishpan. Rub any areas of dry or flaking skin gently with the pumice stone. Rinse the foot and dry. You may also use skin-buffing sponge instead of the pumice stone. Note: Do not ever use a filing tool that cuts your skin or allow one to be used on your feet. Not only is it unsanitary, but you may cut too deeply, causing pain or even drawing blood. 4. Apply a generous amount of lotion to the foot, massaging it in and taking care to cover all the foot, especially the dry and flaky parts. Massage the lotion up your legs to your knees. Close your eyes and relax for 10 minutes, allowing your skin to soak in the soothing lotion. 5. Saturate a cotton ball with nail polish remover and go back over your toenails, making sure that all lotion residues are removed. This is important, since the polish will not stick to any surface that still has lotion residue on it. 6. Press the toe separators between the toes, so that each toe is not rubbing on the next. Note: If doing a group pedicure, make sure that each person has his or her own pair of toe separators, for the sake of hygiene. If toe separators are not available, use cotton balls or a roll of cotton. Be very careful to keep the cotton away from the nails themselves, as cotton fibers will ruin the look of the polish. 7. Brush 1 coat of the base coat over each nail. Allow it to dry for one minute. 8. Apply 2 coats of the nail color. Allow it to dry for 5 minutes. 9. Apply the top coat. Allow it to dry for 1 minute, then spray your nails with the quick dry spray. If possible, allow a half hour for the nails to dry completely. If you don’t have that much time, carefully remove the toe separators and slip your feet into open toed shoes. Be very careful that the wet nails don’t touch the shoes or other toes. You may want to use the paper “sandals” that are available at beauty supply stores to preserve your polish until it is dry. This entire procedure should take about an hour. After your nails are dry, you can look down often and admire your handiwork. Your pedicure should last about 2 weeks or even longer if you apply more coats of the topcoat. Have fun!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rock Chick

Competition 72

VOTE#1- Cyndi

VOTE#2- Erica

VOTE#3- Gorgeous TB

VOTE#4- Heather

VOTE#5- Jessi

VOTE#6- Renae 78

VOTE#7- Sandi

VOTE#8- Rachel

Jean Jeanie OK

Gang, competition time again, this time I want to see your â&#x20AC;&#x153;Jeaniousâ&#x20AC;? ( sorry lol ) ideas with the staple diet of any girls wardrobe - JEANS!! All pics can be sent to me direct at mandytaylor6662000@yahoo.co.uk or in the folders provided on http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lilboutique/

Competition 81

Transgender

0 6 8

A History

9 1

Thought Transgenderism was a recent phenomenon? Well think again, far back in the mists of time our fore-fathers were already carrying the torch!

OW 7 6

CB7

38 83

Part Two

1948 -- Harry Benjamin is introduced by Alfred Kinsey to a boy who wants to become a girl, and whose mother seeks a treatment to assist, rather than thwart the child. The following year, he begins treating transsexuals in San Francisco and New York with hormones. The Institute for Sexual Science had not previously done this; the treatment was entirely new. 1949 -- Michael Dillon becomes the first female-to-male transsexual to complete sexchange operation procedures after a series of 13 pre-phalloplasty operations performed in London over a four-year period. Phalloplasty for FTM transsexuals would not be coherently developed until 1958.

1952 -- Christine Jorgensen (May 30, 1926 – May 3, 1989) is “outed” to the American press, and becomes the subject of great controversy. Her surgery had been performed two years earlier by Dr. Christian Hamburger in Copenhagen, Denmark. She hadn’t wanted to become a public spectacle, but spent her remaining years educating people about transsexuals. 1953 -- Ed Wood Jr.’s film Glen or Glenda appears, providing a surprisingly sincere attempt to understand transgenderism, despite its bizarre and schlocky B-movie trappings. Purportedly inspired by Christine Jorgensen. Wood would later become rather famous in Hollywood circles as being a transvestite. 1955 -- Dr. John Money, a psychologist, writes the first of many papers in the Bulletin of the Johns Hopkins Hospital which will establish for him a reputation as a pioneer in the field of sexual development, and a proposes the theory that gender identity develops primarily as a result of social learning from early childhood. Dame Edna Everidge (alternate link) first appears in a Melbourne comedy revue in 1955. At this time she is known as “Mrs Norm Everage”. She goes on to become an Australian figure of note in the 1990s.

1958 -- The first complete Phalloplasty for gender reassignment purposes is performed by Dr. Judy T. Wu in Bratsk, Russia. Previously, the procedure had only been devised for men who had experienced amputations, particularily during WWI, with some early attempts to develop FTM procedures in the decade preceeding. Phalloplasty would still not become very refined until the 1970s, when additional aspects such as a pump for creating erections would be devised for injured Vietnam veterans. Phalloplasty for female-to-male transsexuals is more complicated for 84

1960 -- Virginia (Charles) Prince begins publishing Transvestia Magazine. She also founds Los Angeles’ Hose and Heels Club and another organization that develops into Tri-Ess (”The Society for the Second Self”). These organizations are thought to be the first modern transgender support groups, and the magazine is the first publication for and by transgender people. She proceeds with a strong belief, however, in “heterosexual crossdressing” (i.e. crossdressers who are only attracted to women) and excludes “gay” or “bisexual” crossdressers from her groups, as well as transitioning transsexuals. Prince eventually goes on to live full-time as female, but Tri-Ess still does not allow full membership for gay men or MTF transsexuals to this day. 1961 -- José Sarria becomes the first transgender-identified person to run for public office. A legendary drag queen, Sarria received 5,600 votes when running for the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Sarria (who still identified as male, at least at the time) proclaimed himself “Her Royal Majesty, Empress of San Francisco, Jose I, The Widow Norton,” the latter being a reference to the 19th Century Joshua Norton, who had colorfully proclaimed himself Emperor of the United States. This led to the 1965 founding of the Imperial Court System, a non-profit charitable organization of mostly drag queens that continues to this day to raise funds and awareness for other charities and people in need. Based on Sarria’s model, another Court materialized in Vancouver, Canada in 1971, followed by many more in many major cities across North America. Sarria also later appears with other drag queens in the opening portion of the motion picture, To Wong Foo: Thanks For Everything -- Julie Newmar. 1965 -- David Reimer is born (named Bruce, by his parents). The following year, his penis is burned up to the base during a circumcision accident. He was taken to the Johns Hopkins Medical Center in Baltimore to see John Money. Money recommended that Reimer be raised as a girl. An orchidectomy was performed, and Reimer was raised with the name “Brenda.”

1966 -- Harry Benjamin publishes The Transsexual Phenomenon. Although he hadn’t coined the word “transsexual,” it became the term of choice following this publication. Johns Hopkins Medical Center opens the first Gender Clinic, under John Money’s guidance. Although Money’s beliefs and writings cause severe damage with regards to intersex children and gender reassignment at birth, he also champions gender reassignment surgery (SRS) in adults, and the clinic becomes the mecca for gender transition. Much of the surgical work from this time would pioneer SRS techniques. Money’s legacy would be a mixed blessing / curse to the transgender cause. One hot August night in San Francisco, the management at Gene Compton’s Cafeteria call police to deal with an unruly table of transpeople, hustlers, and down-and-outers (a typical segment of their clientele). When they attempt to arrest one of the drag queens, she throws coffee in his face, and a riot ensues, spilling out into the street. Although transgender (and gay pride) activism wouldn’t be galvanized until the Stonewall riot of 1969, the Compton’s riot would help set the stage for the gay pride movement, as well as be a spark to draw the San Francisco GLBT communities together earlier than elsewhere, making the city a cultural mecca for alternate sexualities. The story of Comton’s Cafeteria is not well known, but told in the documentary Screaming Queens (alternate link). After the riot, (now-Sgt.) Elliot Blackstone, who had been appointed the first liaison to the GLBT community in 1962, educates many on the Police force, helping the city to become one of the most trans-friendly environments in the world. He also helps to organize San Francisco’s first transgender support group. Mid 1960s through the ‘70s -- Reed Erickson (1917 – 1992) founds the Erickson Educational Foundation, which supports many research projects that don’t fit into the usual catagories of grants... parapsychology, dolphin / human communication, human potential movement, and transsexuality. Erickson’s financial support makes much of the work of Harry Benjamin, John Money’s Gender Clinic at Johns Hopkins Medical Center possible. 1968 -- The International Olympic Committee (IOC) begins chromosome testing of female athletes, effectively banning transsexuals and some intersexed individuals (some of whom were fertile as female, with children) from competition, until 2002. Universities also begin opening clinics for treating transsexuals; the first surgeries are performed on non-intersexed transsexuals. 1969 -- Sylvia Rivera (2 July 1951–19 February 2002) throws a bottle at New York City cops harrassing patrons at Stonewall Inn on June 28, 1969; friend Marsha P. Johnson (1945 - July 6, 1992 -- Johnson is one of the many we remember during the Transgender Day of Remembrance) and several others join in, and the Stonewall Riots touch off the Gay and Lesbian Liberation movements (in other retellings, Johnson throws the first projectile). A founding member of both the Gay Liberation Front and the Gay Activists Alliance, by 1974, those organizations would abandon her, seeing transgendered people as being an embarassment and a political liability to the gay rights cause. By the 1990s, political gay and lesbian groups would denounce Rivera’s contribution, even denying that she was present during the Stonewall Riots. Rivera gradually fell into alcoholism, and it wouldn’t be until the turn of the millennium that she would reemerge as a public figure. 86

1970 -- Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson form STAR, the first transgender activist organization, which later (at times) included a safe-house. Virginia Prince, of Tri-Ess, coins the word “transgender,” albeit with a limited definition to describe her transvestitism. April Corbett’s (neé Ashley; alternate link) marriage is annulled and she is declared to be legally still a man, in spite of a legal sex reassignment, leaving United Kingdom post-operative transsexuals in legal limbo, unable to marry as either sex, until 2004. Andy Warhol protege Holly Woodlawn debuts in the movie Trash, for which the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences would be petitioned to nominate her for an Oscar (they wouldn’t). Woodlawn would appear in a few more films and then disappear from sight, but not before being immortalized in the Lou Reed song, “Walk on the Wild Side.” After initial rejection by founder Betty Friedan (who referred to lesbians as “the lavender menace”), the National Organization for Women (NOW) expands policy to include lesbian rights. Embrace of transgender issues does not come until circa 2003, and remains a marginal part of their policy. As NOW represents much of the core of the feminist movement, feminism as a whole is still very resistant to accepting transwomen as “women,” even after surgery is performed. 1970s (specific year unknown) -- Metoidioplasty is developed for female-to-male transsexuals. Phalloplasty had existed previously, but Metoidioplasty was seen as a more affordable option, with better results in sensation. 1972 -- John Money (with Anke Ehrhardt) publishes Man & Woman, Boy & Girl: Gender Identity from Conception to Maturity. He would go on to publish several books asserting that gender is learned, and not genetically predetermined. This theory is seized upon by the feminist movement as evidence that women are socialized to be passive against their true natures, and this later becomes a wedge between lesbian feminists and transsexual women. In many of his writings of this time, Money cites his famous “John/Joan case”, which he touts as being a socialization of a boy whose penis had been lost in a circumcision accident, to be raised successfully as a girl. “John/Joan,” however, is David Reimer, who is not settling into his reassigned gender as “Brenda” as well as Money believes. As a consequence of many of Money’s writings, paediatricians mistakenly take up the practice of gender assignment at birth. This is most often determined by the length of the penile / clitoral tissue: if it is smaller than a certain length, the child’s tissue is trimmed and they are assigned to be raised as a girl. This policy continued up to the turn of the millennium, and is a major factor in the origins of many intersexed children. Jamie Farr’s crossdressing character, Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger, debuts on the CBS television show, M*A*S*H, the first transgender-related character to appear regularily on TV. Although Klinger was said to crossdress only as an attempt to be given a discharge from the Army, it is the first moment of particular visibility outside comedians’ sporadic use of crossdressing for comedic purposes (popularized by Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon in the movie “Some Like It Hot” as well as by comedians ranging from Milton Berle to Jerry Lewis to Monty Python’s Flying Circus). 87

1973 -- Folk singer and accomplished activist Beth Elliott, aka “Mustang Sally,” becomes vice-president of the Daughters of Bilitis. Soon afterward, she is “outed” as a transsexual, and hounded out of the organization by transphobic lesbian seperatists. At the West Coast Lesbian Conference held in Los Angeles later that year, the controversy would continue as lesbians protest the fact that Elliott is scheduled to perform at the meeting. She would mostly abandon activism until 1983. This division continues, as Sylvia Rivera is followed at a Gay Pride Rally by Jean O’Leary, who denounces transwomen as female impersonators profiting from the derision and oppression of women. Homosexuality is delisted from the medical community’s standard DSM, declaring that it is no longer a mental disorder (and never was). Transgenderism, however, remains listed as a mental disability, termed “gender dysphoria,” to this day. The stage musical, The Rocky Horror Show debuts in London. Jim Sharman and Richard O’Brien would later translate it to film as The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which would become a true cult phenomenon. The theme, “don’t dream it, be it” becomes a rallying cry for many transsexuals as well as many libertarians of all stripes. Australian showgirl-turned-actress Carlotta (known for her performances in the long-running 1963 Les Girls cabaret, in which she was a founding member) debuts in the soap opera, Number 96 playing Robyn Ross, a transgendered showgirl. When the character’s (and actress’) identity is revealed, she is quickly written out of the show due to viewer response. Carlotta later becomes the inspiration for the movie, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. 1974 -- Jan Morris publishes Conundrum, the story of her quest for personal identity, and one of the earliest autobiographies to shed light on the transsexual dilemma. 1976 -- Reneé Richards (August 19, 1934 - present) is “outed” and barred from competition when she attempts to enter a womens’ tennis tournament (the U.S. Open). Her subsequent legal battle establishes that transsexuals are fully, legally recognized in their new identity after SRS, in the United States. Her story would be told in the book and movie, Second Serve, but Richards would later decide that she regretted her transition and the resulting public harassment. Jonathan Ned Katz publishes Gay American History: Lesbians and Gay Men in the U.S.A. and the connection between Jonathan Gilbert’s “H” and Dr. Alan Hart, but asserts Hart as a lesbian, effectively stealing transgender history. 1977 -- Sandy Stone is “outed” while working for Olivia Records, the first womens’ music record label, as a recording engineer. Lesbian activists threaten a boycott of Olivia products and concerts, forcing the company to ask for Stone’s resignation. Angela Douglas writes a satirical letter to Sister as a protest of the transphobia in the lesbian community in general, and the attacks on Sandy Stone in particular.

1979 -- Janice Raymond publishes The Transsexual Empire, a semischolarly transphobic attack. In the book, she cites Douglas’ letter out of context as an example of transsexual mysogyny, and casts Sandy Stone’s involvement in Olivia Records as “divisive” and “patriarchal.” (Stone would reply to these accusations in her book, The Empire Strikes Back: A Posttranssexual Manifesto.) She championed the idea that gender is purely a matter of “sex role socialization” (an opinion that coincided very much with John Money’s, despite her open attacks on him), writing “... All transsexuals rape women’s bodies by reducing the real female form to an artifact, appropriating this body for themselves. However, the transsexually constructed lesbian feminnist violates women’s sexuality and spirit as well.... Transsexuals merely cut off the most obvious means of invading women, so that they seem non-invasive.” Johns Hopkins Medical Center closes its Gender Clinic, under the recommendation of new curator, Paul McHugh, John Money’s successor and an opponent to both Money’s idea of gender as being learned, and Money’s support of transsexuals’ need to transition. Over the next two decades, many of the other Gender Clinics across North America would follow suit. The closure was justified by pointing to a 1979 report (”Sex Reassignment: Follow-up,” published in Archives of General Psychiatry 36, no. 9) by Jon Meyer and Donna Reter that claimed to show “no objective improvement” following male-to-female GRS surgery. This report was later widely questioned and eventually found to be contrived and possibly fraudulent, but the damage had been done. Musician and synthesized music pioneer Wendy Carlos transitions and goes public. Gays, lesbians and transsexuals, who were previously condemned to death in Iran, are given a new fate under law: they are forced to undergo SRS surgery to “correct” the inclination. Transsexuals are still held with a great deal of derision in Iran, and are encouraged to keep silent about their past. 1980 -- David Reimer (as “Brenda”) learns at the age of 15 from his parents that he had been born a boy, and decides to re-establish a male identity. This process would take until 1997, and involve testosterone injections, a double-mastectomy and two phalloplasty surgeries. Joanna Clark, aka Sister Mary Elizabeth, an Episcopal Nun, organizes the ACLU Transsexual Rights Committee. Paul Walker organizes the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association to promote standards of care for transsexual and transgendered clients. He also founds the Janus Information Facility, continuing the work of Erickson Educational Foundation. Later, he would fall ill, and Joanna Clark and Jude Patton would cofound J2CP Information Services to continue this legacy.

1981 -- Model, actress and Bond Girl Caroline Cossey (”Tula”) is “outed” by the British press. She would later become the first post-operative transsexual to pose for Playboy. By 1988, she would be struggling with the European Court of Human Rights to recognize her as a female -- she would win in June 1989, but the court would overturn their decision a year later. Recognition would not come until The Gender Recognition Act 2004. 1982 -- Boy George (George Alan O’Dowd) and Culture Club emerge on the pop charts with the song, “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?” His crossdressing image is not totally new (androgyny had been played with by the likes of David Bowie, Steve Tyler and Aerosmith, Hall and Oates, Elton John...), but had certainly never been taken to the same extreme. By 1986, however, the disintegration of his relationship with drummer Jon Moss and drug problems would hamstring him and Culture Club would be disbanded. Despite some resurgences (he had a hit with the Roy Orbison song for the movie The Crying Game, for example) 1983 -- Jessica Lange wins the Best Actress Oscar for her role in Tootsie, a Sydney Pollack movie in which Dustin Hoffman plays an actor who takes on a female persona in order to secure work in a soap opera. Hoffman and Pollack are also nominated in the Best Actor and Best Director categories but do not win Oscar. Although not a portrayal of the transgender community, the movie is the first gender-transgressive one to be recognized with such an honor. Lange also later appears in the transgender positive made-for-TV movie, Normal. Later recognition for transgender-related film works include a win for Hilary Swank (Oscars, 2000, Boys Don’t Cry, Best Actress), a Golden Globe win for Best Picture (Ma Vie En Rose), and nominations for Jaye Davidson (Oscars, 1993, The Crying Game, Best Supporting Actor; Neil Jordan won the Oscar for his screenplay but lost the Directoral nomination), Felicity Huffman (Oscars, 2006, Transamerica, Best Actress; Golden Globe win for same category), and Edouard Molinaro (Oscars, 1980, La Cage Aux Folles, Best Director). 1984 -- The International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE) is founded, becoming the first major transgender organization to welcome both transsexual and crossdressing members, along with dual inclusion in its magazine, Tapestry (later, Transgender Tapestry Journal). Heavy Metal band Twisted Sister brings gender-bending to the fore in a different music genre, although glam rock had been somewhat previously popularized by Aerosmith and KISS in the 1970s. Censorship contributes to the failure of their follow-up album, and front man Dee Snider spends two years heavily occupied with the music industry fight against the PMRC music labelling movement.

1985 -- A pink granite monument is unveiled at the site of the Neuengamme concentration camp dedicated to the homosexual victims of Naziism. To some, it stands as a memorial to all gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered individuals killed in the Holocaust, as the Nazis did not discriminate regarding individual differences. 1987 -- Albertan k.d. lang makes her musical debut. lang, whose image is very much a gender-challenging form of androgyny, exemplifies the dichotomy within the lesbian community regarding female-to-male transsexuals: so long as one does not step beyond the “butch” limit to actually transition to male, they are accepted and even applauded, but those who transition are deemed “traitors.” lang herself is out as a lesbian, but does not identify as being transgendered. 1989 -- Billy Tipton, a well-respected jazz musician, dies and is discovered to be female, after presenting as a man since 1933. Ray Blanchard proposes the theory of autogynephilia, which he defined as “a man’s paraphilic tendency to be sexually aroused by the thought or image of himself as a woman.” This theory catches on with some writers of the time, even transgender advocate Dr. Anne Lawrence, but is never quite accepted by the medical community as a whole, as it has many gaps in study (and logic), and widely conflicts with the accepted model of gender identity disorder. By the turn of the millennium, it would be dropped in favor of more biological studies of transgenderism. RuPaul first appears in the Talking Heads video “Love Shack,” and goes on to become a drag queen of worldwide notoriety. 1990 -- The term “two-spirit” originates in Winnipeg, Canada, during the third annual intertribal Native American/First Nations gay and lesbian conference. It comes from the Ojibwa words niizh manidoowag (two-spirits). It is chosen as a means to distance Native/First Nations people from non-Natives, as well as from the words “berdache” and “gay” -- previously, there were a myriad of words used, different depending on tribe. The phrase “two-spirit” is used to denote all third-gendered peoples, whether gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered -- but the intersexed are held in particularily high regard, and thought to be beings of potentially great power and blessing. The older term of “berdache” had been French in origin, and is derived from Arabic and Eastern words meaning “kept boy” or “male prostitute.” “Berdache” was used by explorers to explain to Western cultures how many Native traditions held a special reverence for two-spirit peoples to the earliest time, especially the Lakota, Ojibwa, Blackfoot, Cheyenne, Mojave, Navajo and Cree tribes (others, such as the Comanche, Eyak, Iroquois and many Apache bands did not often recognize the existence of two-spirits). Two-spirit peoples were thought to have both male and female persons living within the same body, and a twospirited child’s gender would be determined at puberty, based on their inclination toward masculine or feminine activities. In the last century, modern Christianity had “evangelized,” indoctrinated and destroyed many Native traditions, and two-spirit people are only now just re-emerging from homophobic stigmas.

Part Three next month

CENTREFOLD

J E N N I F E R

A N N

N E L S O N

This months Centrefold is made up of some of Jennifers writings as well as her lovely pictures x February 17, 2009 Walking the Gender Divide By, Jennifer Ann Nelson What’s it like to walk on both sides of the gender divide sometimes as a man and sometimes as a woman? This is the kind of question that gets asked by those who are naive yet curious. My answer, as a transgendered woman, is; “I don’t know.” Though I have a male body, for as long as I can remember, I have thought of myself as female. I hide it well, even though I don’t relate well to guys doing guy things. My heart aches to have a doll collection. When I see a beautiful woman, my thoughts are; “how can I be more like her.” Men and women are truly different. In body, it’s obvious. In the mind, where you can’t see it, it’s no less profound. Looking across the gender spectrum, probably 99% of men are congruent with being men and 99% of women are congruent with being women. These men have absolutely no interest in putting on a dress and the women have no interest in being men. Their gender and sex are congruent. This is at the heart of the misunderstanding the general public has about us as transgendered women. They have no comprehension of what it is like to walk in our shoes. (No pun intended.) They can’t even imagine it. Many are even revulsed by the idea because it is so foreign to who they are. What woman would want to be a man? What man would want to be a woman? Yet here we are, women on the inside struggling to make the person we see in the mirror congruent with our inner selves.

Being married and transgendered further complicates the situation. On the one hand our spouses have expectations of us as men and specifically as husbands. On the other hand we are transgendered. Denial, purges, prayer, nothing seems to change who we are inside. I was once scolded by one of my wifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s friends who had heard that I sometimes wore womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clothes. If she only knew. I had no interest in getting into a discussion with her but she did get me thinking about how could I ever explain my conundrum? How can this make sense to those who are congruent as males or females? Imagine, as a mind game, that a beautiful genetic woman is made to look like a man; short hair cut, no makeup, no jewelry, no earrings, takes testosterone, has no breasts, grows a beard or shaves every day wears male clothes lowers her voice and walks like a soldier. Next, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s told this is who she is for the rest of her life which means, among other things, that all her relationships will change. Other women will look upon her as a man; i.e., one of them, useful but not girl friend material. She will also now have to relate to men as one of them. Remember that through all of this, in her mind, she is still a woman. Every time she looks in the mirror, every time she puts on her clothed every time she comes in contact with another person, who she is and who she appears to be are in diametric opposition. This is truly a recipe for disaster. Welcome to being transgendered.

This is what I wrote Amanda Richards after she did a makeover and photo shoot on me in 2006: “I can’t express how much I appreciated your artistry in doing my makeover. When I first saw myself in the mirror, I didn’t recognize the woman smiling back at me. I saw a beautiful woman, young, modern, vibrant, classy, elegant and sophisticated looking like she had just stepped out of the pages of Elle Magazine. My smile for the rest of the day was real, I felt like I’ve never felt before. I was the woman in the mirror. I was the woman I had always dreamed I could be. Even that night when I looked in the mirror, I saw this same beautiful woman smiling back at me. Jim Bridges taught me a lot but you brought my face to a totally new level. Your color palette is so different from what I’ve been using that I’m going to have to get the complete MAC kit before I can even start to reproduce my new look. I have so much to learn but the wonderful result you showed me gives me the encouragement to get started. Amanda, you’ve turned the clock back 30 years! I want to look spectacular. “Last year I watched a reality program called the Swan, where a group of women who considered themselves flawed, ugly and rejected were put through a rigor of diet, exercise, face lifts etc., never seeing themselves in a mirror until the final reveal. Dressed to the nines, they finally saw themselves for the first time as the beautiful women they had become. Watching the program I could feel their joy, elation and even disbelief as they saw themselves for the first time. Now, I truly know how they felt because I too was that woman. The photo shoot, seeing my new self in various outfits, is a wonderful �remembrance of the day. I see myself in the green dot dress as elegant and sophisticated. With the corset pulled tight, my shape is so feminine. How I felt in the wedding gown is beyond words. I shall never be a bride, but wearing such an elegant and beautiful gown has always been a fantasy that has now been given life. Thinking back over the day and reviewing my pictures, I want to cry with joy. “The need for congruence as a woman is very strong.”

I’m flying. As Jennifer I haven’t flown in 20 years but here I am flying from LAX to DTW. On the outbound (in drab) I talked to a TSA supervisor. I told him I was transitioning to become a woman but I would still be in my male ID for some time. He took it like it was no big deal, no problem, just show two pieces of picture ID like your drivers license and your passport. (He also mentioned Social Security card which is not a picture ID.) On the return, as Jennifer, I used my drivers license and a photocopy of my DL with a picture of me as Jennifer attached and the note that, “the person hereon is transgendered and is not dressed in this manner for fraudulent or deceptive purposes.” I also carried a letter from my transgender councilor which I did not have to use. I look nothing like my picture in male mode. (The first time I visited my transgender councilor as Jennifer she comment that she wouldn’t have recognized me if she hadn’t been prepared having seen pictures of me as Jennifer.) I was dressed much as my pictures, red hair, face lightly made up, wearing a green, low cut sweater that showed lots of cleavage (since the pictures you’ve seen I’ve increased my breasts four sizes) a white, 17 inch, mini skirt and white heels. I saw one of my VC girl friends while I was in LA and she thought I looked great in this outfit. When I went through TSA security I was wearing an underbust corsets. (I had decided that my figure was a first priority.) I knew I would flunk the metal detector but, so what. I flunked. ID security passed me with my two pieces of picture ID. I did have to go through a wanding and pat down. The lady who did me was very polite and treated me like a lady. I had been upgraded to Business Class and enjoyed the pampering all the way to Detroit. At all points of the trip I was treated as a lady and often received smiles from other women. My biggest problem was having to wrestle my luggage into and out of the airports. I pack way too much stuff. I hope this is helpful. I cherish my time as Jennifer and love to put myself in challenging (but safe) situations. I am a better woman for it. I’m going to be flying as Jennifer a lot more often. 96

TGaming

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By Gloria Glamourpuss

Once upon a time, well early nineteen eighties actually, a young boy, a teenager really, had two major interests in life, firstly dressing up in his mothers and sisters clothes and wishing he was a girl, and secondly playing video games. That was a long time ago now, the boy grew up to be a man, decided he didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like being a man and became the girl he had always wished he was, and the world of video games changed just as radically too. Instead of shooting down endless waves of aliens, or running round mazes eating dots players would experience ever more complex scenarios, fantastical quests to save princesses, realistic World War 2 battles, racing high performance cars around the worlds greatest cities, and so much more. So here I am now, a forty something T girl who still likes to play video games, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the beginning of a new year, so lets have a look back at the last year in gaming before this year really gets started.

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The majority of 2008s big games shared something in common, the fact that they were sequels, just new and improved versions of games we’ve played countless times before. How many times can you play a Call of Duty, a Metal Gear Solid, a Gears of War or a Grand Theft Auto before it gets boring? On top of that are these the kind of games u gurls really want to be playing, playing the part of a macho man, sure it can be fun watching some fit guys arse as he runs around blowing things up, but we don’t really need so many games so similar. And besides, apart from some tranny/shemale jokes on one of Grand Theft Auto 4s radio stations I’d hardly call them transgender friendly. Not all the sequels were testosterone drenched shooters though, 2008 saw the welcome return of quite a few more gender neutral franchises. The much under-rated Nintendo Wii brought us a couple of gems with Mario Kart Wii, and Super Smash Bros Brawl, neither have extensive single player games, but that’s not really the main attraction of games like this. It’s just some simple arcade action that really shines in multiplayer modes, and after all the times Princess Peach has been kidnapped by Bowser, and rescued by Mario, its good to play as her and kick their arses for a change.

Another girl showing the boys how things are done was Lara Croft too, she may not be as buxom as she once was, but her latest adventure is up to the high standards set when Crystal Dynamics took over the franchise. Another returning franchise that made a big impact was Guitar Hero, with its World Tour, where you could be more than just a Rock Chick, with the introduction of other instruments you could start your own girl band.

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Other franchises that hadn’t been seen for a while made some welcome returns too, the bear and bird duo of Banjo & Kazooie made their first outing for over six years. This time mixing up its traditional platforming action with some serious vehicle customization, this came in for some pretty mixed reactions, but despite the changes made to the gameplay it still retained the same feeling as its predecessors. Fallout was another franchise that made a long awaited return with some major differences, with ten years since the release of Fallout 2 the franchise is now in the hands of Bethesda softworks, who have brought the game back using the engine used in the much acclaimed Oblivion. This was a game of some serious depth, with easily over one hundred hours of gameplay on the disc and a more futuristic scenario to your average role playing game makes it more accessible than a sword and sorcery theme. There were plenty of new names popped up in 2008 though, and some of the more notable ones took a decidedly retro twist, the biggest of which was Little Big Planet. The game itself is nothing particularly spectacular, just an average 2D platformer, but what make it special is the games level designing tools, giving you limitless possibilities. Once you’ve created your levels you can upload them on to the Playstation network and people can buy them. The 2D platforming continued across all major consoles with the Xbox 360 getting the exceptional Braid and the Wii getting Lost Winds, both available for download on their respective networks. Both have a very quaint graphical style, and some excellent level designs, but Lost Winds also uses, as the title would suggest, wind to help you on your way. Controlling the winds with the Wii’s motion controls can be a little tricky to get the hang of, but once you’ve got them it adds a whole new dimension to the game. You’re probably thinking by now that there’s a whole load of games worthy of mentioning that I’ve overlooked, and yes there have been plenty of good games that I’ve not mentioned. But you can only play the yearly sporting franchises, the generic shooters, the licensed racing games, and so on so many times, no matter how good they are, before they lose their attraction. The gaming market is reaching a point of stagnation, which it seems to have been building to over the last few years, and every year there seems to be less and less to get really excited about. The market is flooded with endless sequels and yearly updates or the same games repackaged with a different name or characters or setting. In this day of high definition super computers more effort is spent on production values than original ideas, and the sad thing is the public just lap it up, they’ve got their nice shiny graphics, and don’t really care it’s the same old thing over again. 2009 doesn’t look like it’s going to make any big difference in the way things are going either, the few big name game we’ve seen so far have all been sequels, who knows though, maybe there’s some hidden gems in development somewhere that the publishers are keeping quiet about, fingers crossed.

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The

Style Council

! S

S E

T L U

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OK, at last , the long awaited results..... You voted in your......10’s....... The premise was a simple one... We’ve had man against machine....... but NEVER in human History have we had........ ( A TOTALLY friendly, warm, cuddly and not at all threatening.........)

GG v TG Fashion Showdown!!! The premise is simple, each issue ONE garment is chosen, from which each gurl has to ensemble an entire outfit, submit their selection to an independant writer, who then creates the article, no cheating!, no conspiring.... just pure, raw......fashion savvy! Last issue a Black and White Shoulder Bag of mine was chosen, and from it two UNIQUE interpretations were created... you came.... you voted...... you knew not which was the GG’s and which was the TG’s...... and so....by

57% it’s.......

TG! 105

OK, so, lets start the bidding with this beautiful EmilioPucci Bag, sleek, stylish and perfect fare for a summers day ...... and its YELLOW!!!

...And what a way to start! Designer A has gone for a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;girlyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; look, kicking off with this delicate daisy chain necklace....

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...... and teamed it with this GORGEOUS white mini-dress, such a lovely design and fab detail o the hem.

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Carrying on the mellow yellow theme throughout, she has gone for a bright yellow belt to compliment the dress perfectly.

Lastly, some cute lil sandals to make for a lovely , fresh, girly theme .

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Same starting point, but Designer B has â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;kickedâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; off with a darling pair of yellow and white heels...

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.... which compliment the 50â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s style dress that is the main piece in this ensemble.

She has them brought it right up to date with this stunning 3â&#x20AC;? white belt...

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....Then added a delicate lil white shrug and yellow paste jewellery to keep the yellow and retro look going throughout.

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So, there you go, two completely different styles, but which one floats your boat? Designers A’s Girly Look or Designer B’s Cute 50’s one? Only you can decide so get voting at:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ lilboutique/

or simply write to me at:mandytaylor6662000@yahoo.co.uk

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The

Style

Council

CALLING ALL GG’S!! Think your good? Think you have Style? Fancy a lil.................. Wager? You know the deal, if you would like to pit your wits against our TG Style Guru then get in touch. This months challenge is to develop an outfit from this delicate lil black shrug.

Write to me at mandytaylor6662000 titling your mail “Bring It On!!” and let battle commence!!!

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PICTURE B A S Q U E In Glory

R E

N N

I W

COMPETITION 114

C�n�ra��la�i�n�

Lena 115

Ask The Girls 116

MANDY TG

NICOLA TS

GG LYNN

I do so hate the term ‘Agony Aunt’, to me it lends itself to a matronly figure tut-tutting at you and unleashing their ‘wisdom’ in a oneway torrent. So, this isn’t an Agony Aunt column, this is you, chewing the fat with a few friends, sounding out your buddies over a glass or three of Chardonney. I have had the great fortune over the years to have had such a diverse group of friends, that if I ever had a problem I knew there was SOMEONE out there I could ask....this has ranged from the mundane ( what lippy goes with that top? ) to the more complex like..... “ i’ve just taken a PVC dress out the packet and it looks like an inner-tube!!! how on earth do I get it shiny??!! “ ( I do not lie!!!!! ) So, now I felt that it might be an idea to get a few friends together and see if we might be able to help you iron out the creases in your lives. and I do mean ANY creases!! to this end I thought it might pay to have a small spectrum of views, so each issue you can ask advise from a TG, a TS AND a GG!!! so if they cant solve it NO-ONE can ( I even have a few suitable guys to hand if the need arises! ) so come one, come all..... so......need a top up?........

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Okay. Um...geez I hope this doesn’t sound stupid. Well, I’m in my early teen years, and a bio girl. Problem is I’ve felt like I should have been born with a male body for my entire life. I kept it quiet, but now I want to come out to my family. They are liberal and very open-minded. Two of my friends and my sister and cousin know. Everyone was great, except my sister wasn’t exactly thrilled. She wanted a sister, not a brother. Well, I really want to tell my folks. They’ve always said that they would love me no matter what, with special empisize on if I was gay (i’m not). I wrote a heartfelt letter that I am planning on giving to my mom when before I go to bed. Then she will have to time to read it and tell me what she thinks. But I’m really scared, like maybe she won’t accept me. And then I wonder if I don’t act ‘masculine’ enough for them to believe me! So I’ve started having doubts and all these stupid jitters. What I’m most worried about is if I’m too young to know, or that my family would think so. Help?

What you are experiencing is what many have to face with this condition, the doubts and the need to be open about it. I would suggest that you do tell your parents but tell them you have doubts about your gender. Explain you think you should have been born a male but at this stage you are confused and you really want their support in finding out who you are. 118

Ask them to help find someone who you can talk to, to explore your thoughts and feeling. Ask them if they will become involved in helping you come to the right decisions and follow what course of treatment, if any, you need. You are their child, basically asking for their help and who can deny that. I know that many have been rejected by their families, me included, but your parents sound far more open minded than many and love you for who you are. You do not want to force yourself down any route and into acting one or another just to please people. By asking for help to discover who you truly are removes this pressure. You donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need the hassle of conforming to one gender or the other. Just spend time discussing your feelings, in depth. Be brutally honest with yourself is the number one priority. Only by being honest with yourself can you truly find out who you really are. Best of luck, Nicola

I think writing a letter is an excellent idea but think through carefully how you write it as letters can be read in more than one way and something you might mean in a specific way could be mis-read in a totally different way.

Also, I would put in your letter that although youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve written this initial broaching of the subject, you would very much like to discuss it with them in person and would welcome any questions they may have so that both sides get to understand the other sides feelings. 119

Based on what you have said about them being liberal and openminded and the fact that they have mentioned they will love you no matter what, leads me to believe that they believe there’s more to you than you’re letting on and that is a good thing as it sounds as though they are open and loving enough to let you know in a roundabout way that no matter who or what you are or believe you are, they will be there for you and support you. Hopefully by being able to discuss this with them in person, this may allow you to help make up your mind about the person you want to be or just confirm what you have believed all along. I say go for it and if you’re folks are as great as you say they are, continue to discuss things with them every step of the way and allow them to support you for each of those steps. Good luck hon

I think that you are pretty much answering a lot of your own questions here. You can feel the conflict inside yourself, but are still unsure whether it is a gender issue or an age ‘thang’ Your parents ,too ,seem to have their finger on the pulse and are doing what any self-respecting parent would do, and leaving the door open for you to make your own choices. The other thing that you do have nowadays is ‘realisation’. I am fast approaching 41 and when I was your age ‘transgender’ and Gender Dysphoria was virtually unknown.

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