I
t was a glorious day. The sun was shining, the top was down and I was blasting round the country lanes in my Ferrari convertible.
Angelina Jolie was sitting next to me in a rather tight World Combat Arts tee-shirt. We pulled up at some traffic lights and she leaned over to give me kiss.
Left to Right: Anthony Pillage, Mo Teague [centre] & Gavin Richardson
Strange, I thought, that felt like an elbow in the ribs. I went to kiss her hoping for the familiar sensation of warm flesh on flesh - only to feel another less present but equally unmistakable sensation. It was that good old fashioned elbow again, right in the ribs! Angelina smiled at me with those wonderful plump and curvaceous lips, gently opening her mouth and said, “Turn that bloody alarm off!” Another elbow was delivered. I looked at her, puzzled but there it was again “TURN THAT BLOODY ALARM OFF!” Her accent had changed. Angelina no longer spoke with her sexy silky tone, but instead she sounded a lot more like a grumpy half asleep Scouser. Exactly the sort of tone I’d expect to come from my wife when she had been woken despite not needing to get up for least another four hours. One eye opened and I was back in the real world. With my best Neanderthal grunt I rolled over and hit the alarm button. It was 4am. I looked out the window to be greeted by a pitch black sky and heavy rain lashing down without mercy. The trees on the other side of the field were being bent sideways by the wind and I thought, great, I can’t wait to go out in that. Twenty minutes later and I was checking my bag. Bag gloves: check. Boxing gloves: check. Vale tudo gloves: check. Focus mitts: check. Training knife: check. Kali sticks: check. Judo Gi: Check! Bottled water: Check!
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