Craige Thompson

With Steve Lowe TSKC I remember to an extent getting caught up in the biggest amount of bullshit dojo politics I’ve ever seen. My memory is hazy on this one. One of my instructors had taken time off for personal reasons and had come back to training. Sensei Daz was coaching him while I, and the other black belts were running classes. Over time this began to create friction and upset since almost all the black belts were becoming unhappy with not being taught or given chance to learn since they were effectively coaching (or managing the kids). My then friend at the time expressed his concerns and put it to me to try and talk about it. I’ll spare the details but trying to be an intermediary in this whole mess was a shithouse idea. I got dragged into the argument directly after expressing my own opinions.

I was stripped of my Sandan grade and knocked down to 3rd Kyu. A decision I later was told was to encourage me to quit. I was already going through a rough time after discovering I had epilepsy and it subsequently being a bigger barrier to living a normal life than I thought. I often think back to that situation, the ugliness and cruelty of it. In my darker moments when the bad thoughts kick in, I regret my decision to stay and carry on training. This whole event I think is responsible for the duality of emotions I feel towards training even now.

I distinctly remember my next session back. Putting that brown belt on. The strange looks I was given by everybody. It sent an obvious message to everybody else. Hindsight is 20/20 and it tells me now that this is when the club began to really fracture.

I have mentioned this situation a couple times to folks. Much like here I omit a lot of the bullshit. I always get the same question, “Why did you stay?”

Simple answer, I had an unwavering faith in Sensei Westwood. I was convinced it was the right decision he made (or maybe I had to convince myself that). I couldn’t give up on something that was such a big part of me. My martial arts was the only thing of any value to me as a person, so maybe I was trying to hold on to that one thing that gave me some self-worth. Maybe a part of me needed to prove to everybody else that I was worth my grade (I’d already heard the ‘he was graded too quickly,’ ‘we made a mistake with him’ etc). Ultimately where else would I have gone? I was piss poor and couldn’t have afforded in any capacity to go anywhere or do anything else. But above everything, I felt I’d let my hero down; I desperately felt a need to redeem myself in his eyes.

I believe it was around a year later I was given my belt back. I can’t remember fully but I think it was my Shodan I was given back first. My Sandan I believe didn’t come until much later (again I can’t fully remember this). I do know I wept a little in that lesson.

Time carried on and so did I. I moved away for a while and spent a good chunk of time out of the dojo while I was living in Kidsgrove. I became a father, sank deep into depression, and struggled for work all through that year. Then I spent around another year homeless, more depressed, and more hopeless. I tried to get to the dojo when I could (when I was back in Tipton). It was a really dark time.

It was during that year that I attempted suicide by overdose. I remember sitting in the hospital bed after having chucked my guts up, taste of charcoal in my mouth. Sensei Daz visited, “Well was that worth it?” He was still there for me.

That incident had served to burn my last bridge though. I’d called in any favours I was owed by that point. Fortunately, it wasn’t long after we had a home and things started to stabilise. I even got back into the dojo. Things had changed a fair bit though. We had a few black belts leave by this point, some unhappy, or too injured (not from training), or too busy. A lot changed while I was away and even now my memory is an absolute wreck of those events.

I still kept training though. Kept my own abilities sharp as I could, did my best to attend around work. My attendance at the dojo around this time did start to wane though, besides that I was losing interest. I wasn’t learning anything new and when I did show up for classes it was usually a case of ‘here you go, coach the class’ or ‘here you go, coach these new kids.’ After a long day working including cycling miles to and from work you just don’t want that. Eventually I just stopped attending. I can’t remember if it was before or during my (still training/studying at home) absence that I graded to yondan. Again I’ve not got much memory of this grading save that it was a tough one because I was physically not in as good a shape as I was when I took my sandan.

I’d lost my spark and had sunk into a very deep depression after losing a fairly basic job as a metal polisher. My epilepsy had almost caused me an accident at a lathe and I had to give up on that type of work and start looking at something else. During this period of time I ended up doing a little volunteering.

I remember responding to a little advert looking for someone to coach martial arts for a community group. I took it on as a cash in hand thing to do in my spare time while I looked for work. Extra money for nappies and milk. This one thing became the spark that eventually built to me having my own dojo now. I couldn’t maintain the coaching for an indefinite amount of time since the depression I was dealing with was an almost insurmountable beast at the time. Some months passed after I had to stop and I felt the itch to get back to coaching, more as something to do to distract me than anything.

I approached the studio I was coaching at previously to check availability, I sorted my insurance, safeguarding, booked the space and went for it. With Sensei Westwood’s help I was away as a coach. It was demanding work. Looking back I wasn’t fully ready for it; I was coming home physically and emotionally exhausted most nights. The kids gave me motivation though, I couldn’t let them down. My first class included my first ever student when I volunteered previously (she is still currently training with me since she wouldn’t go to anyone else), my nephew, youngest sister, my eldest son (who was really only there to soak up the atmosphere and run around since he was a toddler) and a couple of people who’d responded to some very basic advertising. It was in a fairly small dance studio, with not much in the way of mats. I built up a nice little class fairly quickly and really got my spark back for martial arts in general.

It remained difficult. A couple hours in a class was wiping me out. But it started to feel like I had some sort of purpose again. I would attend the main dojo when I could which always seemed to be losing people.

Over a year or so I’d moved locations to a larger school hall space, gained some kids, lost some kids. I couldn’t get any adults in my classes (and unfortunately still don’t now) which was always a bit disconcerting. At the time I was doing this I wasn’t really developing too much as a martial artist, but I was as a coach. In learning to coach things, I found I was developing deeper understanding of certain things (especially when I was writing notes or lesson plans on how to coach certain principles).

The timeline is fuzzy but somewhere around this period is when I blagged my way onto an amateur MMA undercard in Bolton. I was still out of work and Christmas was looming. Through a lot of bullshit I got a paid fight. I fought a chap named Matt Parker (I think) in a catchweight bout. I had zero prep time, zero experience in competing MMA. I made weight to fight a guy bigger than me who was much more prepared. I lost that fight at the end of the first round to an arm bar. After this, I started training at the UTC in Erdignton (yes still piss poor and out of work, living that early days Conor McGregor lifestyle but without the opportunities). I picked up a lot there working on Boxing, Muay Thai, and BJJ; that is until they shut down. It all complimented my karate and further helped improve my skillset.

Around that time is when I took over the coaching at the main dojo and merged my club into it. I wasn’t happy with the school hall (or more specifically the company left managing it) and the main club was struggling. Sensei Nath was uninterested in coaching, Sensei Daz had all but stopped attending due to work so there was only me left to do it. I didn’t want my home dojo to die so I stepped in and stepped up.

The club grew fairly well at this time and things were looking at least stable. I think around this time is when I started to attend seminars and events properly and moved into the next stage of my martial arts journey proper.

Ironically, I met some of the best folks and made some solid friendships through a Jessie Enkamp seminar. I attended his first ever UK seminar, which was honestly crap. I don’t know Jessie personally, I don’t train with him, and don’t really know his history. What he demonstrated on this seminar however was pretty rubbish in my opinion. There was the usual “let’s wow everyone who does 80s styled Shotokan karate with something they’ve never done before” exercises; primarily proprioception-based stuff. This was followed with some fairly naff ‘flinch response’ (if I could even call it that) training. At one point we did some over exaggerated variation of nikyo with zero equalisation, use of mechanical advantage, or anything that I KNOW makes the principle what it is. The icing on the cake was someone asking if Jessie would perform a kata (since you know, that’s what he’s really well known for) and he flat out refused.

As much as that seminar sucked, I made some great contacts though. People that have become good friends. The guys from Tividale Shotokan Karate (TSKC), and the guys from Canon Shotokan in particular! I also ended up at a 24hour karate event through Mike Turbitt from this event too.

With the boys at ABA

Thanks to the link up with TSKC though I ended snowballing into a load of seminars over the next couple of years. Now I won’t go into details for each seminar (you can read about some that I’ve written reviews on) but my karate and martial arts world was opened right up through their seminars hosting a variety of people. I met such amazing people as Senseis Simon Oliver, Steve Lowe, John Johnston, Katsu Tiru Jr, Mandie Read. Amazing guys such as Tommy Joe Moore and loads of others.

During this time I began trying to find a way to make myself more useful and look at creating a long term better future for my dojo, all while out of work and being rejected left right and centre for even the most rudimentary jobs.

I’ll save the boring and long bits but eventually I was able to set up a community centre which would serve as a full time matted training space. The dojo had a nice place for classes, we were able to run extra things for schools, get funding for new equipment and run extra projects. The first place lasted just over a year. No thanks to a dodgy landlord and the dreaded covid we ended up needing somewhere new fairly quick. Covid actually helped us get the place where we’re based today, the WMA Community Fitness Centre.

At some point during all of this I was awarded my godan. Both for my continued contribution to the Ryu, but also displaying levels of understanding and study that match the grade (I think). I don’t get to see Sensei Westwood a lot these days, sometimes we’re not in contact for months. It’s quite saddening for me, but such is life; people have their own things to do. I hope someday I’m worth him coming and teaching properly again, or at the very least that I can see him in a gi more regularly.

Setting up this current space has been one of the biggest challenges I’ve faced in life. Thanks to the help of some amazing people I turned my pipe dream into a reality. Hopefully in a few years’ time I’ll be in a position to set up a purely dedicated martial arts gym as a business, or at least find a way to live through martial arts. I don’t need to be a rich man, just an honest and happy one will do. I don’t want to keep living in survival mode.

My time spent dealing with charity-based community work over the past few years has been more bitter than sweet. I personally am more built for martial arts than I am serving a community that in some cases doesn’t care for what we do to help folks. I don’t like dealing with self-serving councillors with crocodile smiles and having to deal with people who always have some alternate agenda when dealing with you.

I’ve built myself up to be a great coach and instructor in my own right. I’ve studied hard and continue to do so in my martial arts. I’m now making links with the right people, good people on their own great journeys who are willing to share their experience and knowledge.

My disability, along with the depression, is an horrendous thing to deal with. They affect my ability to travel, and live ‘normally.’ They limit how hard I can work most days, and how much of myself I can put into things. We all have these barriers in life, I’m not special because of it, but they do shape my decisions and who I am.

Trying to touch very lightly on a lot of things that have happened over the past years is hard. I apologise if this all looks like a jumble of random thoughts, and experiences. I got halfway through writing this and had to stop. I almost decided to delete the entire thing. It doesn’t match my usual writing style and clear-cut review layout. Trying to recall things from a damaged part of my brain probably hasn’t helped especially when some things I have almost no clear memory of at all. I’ve left out loads of smaller stories and tonnes of details of certain events because remembering them was plainly just too painful for me. For anyone interested though I’m always happy to chat about stuff over a coffee.

This about rounds it up for me. I’m currently trying to improve my physical health and maintain regular coaching. My mental health isn’t great, and I’m about 3 years in on a waiting list now for an appointment for one-to-one therapy on the NHS. My karate is sharper than ever though. Now more than ever it is my anchor and my reason for getting up in the morning. It is my focus and my purpose. Maybe it will all turn on its head tomorrow and the dream will clear and it’ll all be the end, or maybe I’ll pull off the impossible and be happy for a change.

One thing is for sure though, I’m open and willing to train with anyone, anywhere, any time. If somebody has their knicker sin a twist about what I do, what I know, or how I train, my dojo is open for them to air their grievances on the mats. If anyone needs my help, they’ll get it. Those individuals that have supported me and continue to support me, you’ve got my loyalty and support in return.

Finally I’d like to shout out and thank a few folks.

Firstly a shout out to Tommy Joe Moore, who I’ve not known long. He’s an impressive gent and has inspired me to get back to writing to the point I am going to write a book.

Lucci Del Gaudio for putting on some awesome events and bringing people together that have been great for me to meet. The guy is putting UK martial arts back on the map. If I’m lucky, maybe I’ll be on one of his events in future, standing alongside giants.

The Canon Shotokan Karate Club, in particular Senseis Paul Connor and James Hinsley! They’ve been good blokes and friends to me over the past couple of years.

Mandie Read, and Dudley Shukokai Club! Mandie was one of less than a handful of people who have checked in on me just to see if I’m all right, especially during lockdown. She is an amazing lady, and fantastic coach; her club is lucky to have her.

Katsu Tiru Jr for much the same reason. One of few people to just get in touch to say hi. He’s one of the nicest guys you could ever meet and I’m glad to count him as a friend.

Les and Steve Knight, and the whole TSKC family! These guys have been nothing but welcoming towards me over the years. We’ve always had this joke that I’m like an adopted stray member of the club. Since meeting them back at that seminar years ago we’ve formed a solid relationship. Through them I’ve met amazing instructors, taken part in phenomenal events; even got into coaching a Foundation Learners group from a local college (probably some of my proudest work)! Thanks for being a home away from home, and a family away from family.

All my students for supporting and believing in me enough to stick with me over the years; and for providing me with the motivation to be my best self and set a proper example.

Sensei Darren Westwood, without whom I’d probably be in jail or dead by now. Sensei Daz is my hero, my friend, my confidant and so much more. He is my Sensei, my Mr. Miyagi. He’s coached me, mentored me, helped me get my first stable full-time job. He taught me that being outside of the norm is best. Most importantly he made me believe that a poor lad from Tipton who spent his life being told he was worthless could actually be worth something.

Most importantly my missus, Katie! She is my rock, my inspiration, my voice of reason, my arse kicker. She’s my everything. She’s helped me every step of the way, whenever I’ve started to flag, she’s stepped in and got me back up. She’s seen the best of me, and the worst of me and through some miracle she still loves me all the same. Honestly, I look at her most days and wonder if I used all my luck up in one go just to have her in my life.

If you read all of that, thank you for reading. Maybe if you ever get the chance, you could come and pay my humble little dojo a visit. My door’s always open and I’m always ready to learn something new.

With Tommy Joe Moore & James Hinsley