20 Having Kids: a (mostly) irreversible (and entirely irresponsible) decision Inspired by “stove”
I don’t know if you have a ranking of different types of stoves, but here’s mine: 1. Gas stove: This is what I grew up with. You can see the flame, and you can make it go as big or as little as you want pretty immediately. Good for making s’mores, too. Easy, fairly beginner friendly, and it works wonders when your power goes out as long as you have a lighter. 2. Wood burning stove: personally, I have never used one, but I like bonfires, which is basically the wood burning part without the stove. Right? Also the aesthetic (and smell) is very nice. 3. Electric stoves: Fairly easy to clean (I think?) but also how are you supposed to know how hot it is? Like yes the dials will tell you, but still… how? You’re telling me that I’m just going to have to trust what the dial says and trust that, even though I can’t really see a physical representation of the heat (i.e. the size or color of the flames like on a gas stove), that my food will cook and not burn? Don’t like it. Don’t like it one bit. If my opinion on electric stoves tells you anything, it may tell you this: I don’t trust many people or things. This is something that I’ve been working on. While doing some mediocre selfpsychoanalyzing is something I don’t seek to do, I will say this: I am a firm believer that, at the end of the day, there is nobody you can truly trust to have your best interest in mind besides you. Not even your parents, not even your significant other, and not even any person whom you hold in high regard. I am a triplet, and I will be the first person to tell you that I’d trust my triplet siblings with my life and most decisions that matter. But I will also be the first to disclaim that statement and say that at the end of the day, I can only truly trust myself. This perspective is a really strange one. At least a strange one for me to have, at least. For someone who can often be (and used to be 100% of the time) very self- loathing, trusting myself is a fairly novel concept. It’s kinda funny though. I only truly trust one person in this world– me– but it’s also someone whom I hate 99% of the time. It’s an irony and and truly cognitively dissonant. I have no explanation for it, besides the analogy of, “Only I can have something bad to say about myself. Only I can say that I’m loud, annoying, selectively confrontational, and anxious. Nobody else can say that.” The self awareness I have about myself can only be expressed by me. Is this censorship? Probably. Is it a measure to protect my feelings and my feelings only? Most definitely. Is it healthy? Debatable. Trust truly is a one of a kind thing. With it, so much is possible. Community. Relationships. Accomplishing goals. Dividing and distributing responsibilities. Without it, or once it’s broken; nothing. Trust, in all of its forms, is the bridge that connects us as people. Some of these bridges are much older and stronger and carry the weight of personal, life- changing responsibilities: money, caretaking, meeting basic needs, emotional support, etc. Others are not as strong but still carry the weight of professional or acquaintance- level responsibilities: getting tasks done for a group
