Bibliophilia Issue four Connections
ISSUE FOUR Trenz Pruca FEBRUARY 2015 24 September 2014
How to reconnect with the work that you thought you didn’t like
THE BEST JOURNALING APPS TO TAKE WITH YOU Plus short fiction, poetry, book reviews and more
ISSUE FOUR - FEBRUARY 2015
Copyright ©2015 by Bibliophilia Magazine All prose and poetry rights are reserved by the contributing authors. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the individual author. NEXT ISSUE!! The new year is a time for new starts, new resolutions, and new beginnings. Considering this we have decided our theme for March’s issue will be SPRING March is the beginning of a new season, with baby animals frolicking through the fields and slightly warmer days. So we’re looking, as always, for poetry, short fiction, features and of course, one talented artist to illustrate the magazine for us.
Submission Guidelines Our guidelines are few and simple. We want to make it as easy for you to submit to us as possible and want to make our rules (such as they are) easy to follow. So here’s all you need to know: ‣ All submissions must be sent to bibliophilia@outlook.com by the 20th of the month to appear in the next month’s issue. ‣ All submissions must be sent as a pdf or word attachment, with your name, your pen name (if different), a short author bio (no more than 50 words) and your twitter name/ blog address in the email body. ‣ Short fiction can be no longer than 2,000 words, with the words ‘fiction submission’ as the subject of the email. Longer submissions will be considered on a case by case basis. ‣ Poetry can be no longer than 40 lines, with the words ‘poetry submission’ as the subject of the email. Up to three poems can be sent together. Longer submissions will be considered on a case by case basis. ‣ Features can be no longer than 1,500 words; proposals must be sent in the first instance with the words ‘features proposal’ as the subject of the email. Longer submissions will be considered on a case by case basis. ‣ All submissions must be sent via email - we do not accept snail mail submissions at this time. PAGE ONE
ISSUE FOUR - FEBRUARY 2015
Regular Features
JOSIE’S ARTICLE ON SEX!! PAGE 22
A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR
TWO MORE WRITING PROGRAMS USED AND REVIEWED PAGE 4
Contents Submission guidelines and next month’s theme Page 1
We are well and truly into the new year now, and I hope all of your resolutions are going well and you’re being the healthy, happy, productive person you said you would be on January 1st. But it’s already February, and that means love is in the air and Easter is just around the corner - I know, time really can fly. We’ve avoided the obvious theme of love, and gone instead for connections. So I’ll be advising you how to reconnect with the manuscript you thought was lost on page 12, while Josie is tackling the much more sensitive subject of sex and relationships on page 19. We don’t have a featured artist this month, but if you’d like to see your work in here next month, get in touch.
HOW TO LOVE YOUR NOVEL THAT YOU REALLY DON’T LOVE PAGE 14
From the Editor Page 2
A Little Less Lit Sex Education Page 19 Tearable Puns Page 23
Our Contributors Page 3 Our guide to the best writing programs Page 5 Poetry Corner Page 8 Prompts page Page 10 How to love the work you hate Page 12 Twist on an Old Tale - Flash Fiction Page 14 Book of the Month Page 15 What We’re Working on Page 17
Mac PAGE TWO
Follow us on Twitter: @bibliophiliamag
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ISSUE FOUR - FEBRUARY 2015
CONTRIBUTORS A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE WORDS
Editor
Our Regulars Natasha McGregor - Editor Having written various genres since she was a teenager Natasha is looking forward to a new challenge in editing Bibliophilia. She is also working on her first full length novel and writing a collection of poetry. Twitter: @Natasha2Mc
Literary Reviewer
http://natasha2mcgregor.wordpress.com
Richard Southworth - Literary Reviewer Following prolific but not terribly original writing as a child, Richard got back into proper writing in 2009 by competing in National Novel Writing Month. He currently has eight NaNoWriMo victories under his belt, in addition to writing book reviews and the occasional short story. Twitter: @PneRichard
Features Writer
http://velociraptor256.wordpress.com/
Josie Alford - Features Writer Josie is 21 and lives in Bristol after finishing a degree in English Literature. She writes poetry and is saving money for a masters in creative writing. Her blog is full of all of her poetry and she aims to get into more performance poetry – follow her on twitter for updates! Twitter: @AlfordJmo
Features Writer
http://thefaultymanufacturing.blogspot.co.uk
E"eMay - Features Writer Elle May lives in Lancashire but her heart is travelling around the world. She lives with her parents, sister, and any visitors who extend their stay. She spends her days quietly thinking or loudly voicing her profound thoughts hoping someone will understand what she is saying. http://masiejane.wordpress.com/ 
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Guest Writers Anna Nazarova-Evans - Flash Fiction I completed NanoWrimo this year for the first time and wrote 50,100 words. I am planning to take part in it every year from now on. I have done two writing courses at the Bristol Folk house. Twitter: @AnitchkaNE
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WRITE NOW WITH… WRITING A JOURNAL IS THE MOST UNRESTRICTED PRIVATE FORM OF ART THERE IS, AND THE MOST DIFFICULT. WHAT DO YOU WRITE IN ONE? THE ANSWER IS ANYTHING! ONLY YOU WILL READ IT. ONE OPTION IS A PADLOCKED BOX TO KEEP YOUR PRECIOUS PAGES AWAY FROM PRYING EYES; THE OTHER IS A JOURNAL PROGRAM.
I’ve never kept a diary; perhaps because I pictures, links, and pagebreaks, it has a live in a household full of prying eyes and I search function and you can add multiple don’t possess a padlocked box. I’m told pages for each day. You can also export your writing in a diary can take you places you work into different document and HTML wouldn’t normally go and improve your formats, should you feel the need to publish writing skills along the way. Many journals your private musings. iDailyDiary and diary programs are data encrypted and automatically saves your work and a password protected, so pouring the depths calendar at the bottom of the page of your soul into words has never been safer highlights any days with entries. A whole from prying eyes. The two programs I will host of potential uses and ideas spring to be reviewing are iDailyDiary and The mind but I confine myself to one page with Journal 6. the intention of keeping iDailyDiary is a a simple diary filled with I got out this diary and read, as free program from whatever inspiration Splinterware software comes to me that day. one always reads one's own solutions. With its quick iDailyDiary also writing; with a kind of guilty download and familiar supports Unicode (nonintensity. ~ Virginia Woolf appearance, starting a western character sets). journal has never been Curious to see if it would easier. As soon as you work I switched the open your new diary you are greeted with a language from English to Chinese, but like welcome page, guiding you through the Alice in Wonderland, I soon lost my way. basic ‘How to’ details, which is My sum of writing Chinese was the day a 5 automatically saved under that days’ date. year old very patiently taught me the It’s a handy reference point should you need symbol for water while I was waiting for my it but it’s doubtful you will. Half an hour of takeaway in the Restaurante Ze Yun, rummaging around the menus, tabs, and Algeciras, Spain. I eventually found my way icons and I’ve discovered just about back by pushing all the buttons until everything this program has to offer. something happened. After leaving Chinese, It has everything a good writing skipping through German with a brief program should have. There’s a full range of interlude in Swedish, I arrived back to the fonts and text colours, you can insert English language and made a small entry in
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my new multi- linguist diary The Journal 6 does have more to A personal diary, with a little offer then the free version of iDailyDiary. imagination, should have something It’s very flexible and can be adapted to suit sensational written in it. This would be a any needs. If you get stuck there are FAQ fortunate circumstance in the case of pages, email support and forums where you iDailyDiary as the program is remarkably can find the answers. The layout is easy to lacklustre. The program designer has added navigate and you can do I lot more with the a ringbinder effect overall appearance, customising it to the page, there to your own personal taste. As Each new day is a blank page is a large variety of well as the usual editing features in the diary of your life. The fonts to choose you can also insert music and secret of success is in turning video files, tables, and reminders, from and you can that diary into the best story change the colour there’s a doodle feature and a of the page, but blogging tool. The more I look you possibly can that’s about it. around it, the more I find, and the - Douglas Pagels There are three more I believe that I could use themes, Luxury, Journal 6 to organise every aspect Brilliant Pink and Brilliant Blue but frankly, of my life from my daily business accounts, I couldn’t see a difference. Lack of my personal appointments to my part-time distraction is a good thing though; I’m writing projects. And that is where my inspired to leave the house looking for an problem would lie with The Journal 6. adventure to fill my blank pages with. I have a page a day business diary; I Unfortunately my local park holds only aged have a monthly calendar for my personal dog-walkers with arthritic pooches. No appointments, I have recently acquired a spies, no murders, no lost forlorn lovers, notebook to use as a writing journal, and I even the kiosk is closed. also have various reminders to prompt me iDailyDiary is an easy to use, basic, not to forget momentous occasions. I could free journaling program available from put all these together onto The Journal 6 on www.splinterware.com. There is also a my laptop instead of carrying a small filing professional version costing $30 (£20) which cabinet around with me. But the important has more features and a 30 day free trial. thing is that they are all separate. Writing is The Journal 6, available from my escapism; I don’t want to glimpse bits of www.davidrm.com , has a 45 day free trial bookwork while I’m racing down a snowclad before committing to the price of £38.46, a mountain with a pack of ravenous wolves at 30 day money back guarantee if you are not my heels. Likewise when the tax returns are completely satisfied, plus a whole array of due I need to focus on figures and discounts available, as well as an offer of percentages. And when I go out for a gossip 40% commission on all orders placed from with the girls I don’t think of anything. people you refer to The Journal. It also Yes, there is no doubt that paper is patient advertises itself as ‘a powerful journaling and and as I don't intend to show this writing tool that can help you take control cardboard-covered notebook, bearing the of your life’. Forgive me for being cynical proud name of "diary," to anyone, unless I but if it’s that good why all the offers and find a real friend, boy or girl, probably incentives to make a purchase.
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nobody cares. And now I come to the root descriptions of windswept African plains in of the matter, the reason for my starting a a leather-bound journal while on safari, diary: it is that I have no sitting in a Parisian cafe such real friend. ~ Anne I never travel without my diary. listening to Le Seine, Frank sipping coffee, sketching One should always have As good as The and writing in a notebook, Journal 6 is, personally it something sensational to read or just curled up in my wouldn’t work as a writing favourite chair with my in a train. journal for me. I would be pen, my diary and my ~ Oscar Wilde too tempted to use it for thoughts. Like love letters more mundane matters. and birthday messages And while iDailyDiary is some things are better more simplistic, it is also impersonal. written by hand, in person and on paper. Perhaps I’m a little too romantic when it Now I just need a padlocked box. comes to journal writing; penning iDailyDiary
The Journal 6
Ease of use
5 - Simple, easy to navigate, familiar Microsoft Word layout
5 - Easy to navigate, similar to Microsoft Word
Visual
3 - Looks like any other Word program - boring. There is a handy calendar along the bottom
4 - Default format is basic but there are lots of options so it can be altered to suit your taste
Download speed
4 - Very quick download but the desktop icon looks fuzzy
4 - Quick download and easy step by step instructions
Features
2 - Basic features of a good writing program with a few extras
5 - Lots of useful features for keeping any kind of diary or journal
Technobabble
3 - Download procedure isn’t explained well. You manually download and .exe or .zip file and hope your computer takes over
4 - Everything is explained in simple English with pictures
Instruction manual
5 - Very easy to understand and is automatically saved in your diary
5 - Basic start up instructions saved in the calendar. FAQs and technical help on their website
Overall
3 - Very limited program. Possible the paid version is better but if the free version is an example of what to expect then I don’t think I’ll bother
5 - This has grown on me over the 45 day free trial - I’m very tempted to buy it. Very versatile and I think I would use it for a lot of different things
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Poetry Corner You are so beautiful by Josie Alford
You are so beautiful, inside and out I’m talking drop dead gorgeous, with a smile So handsome that it makes me want to shout From rooftops so that all around for miles Will know of my love for you and rejoice Knowing that this poet has found the one Thing that gives song to her once quiet voice You are my constant, everlasting sun. In the years to come your beauty will fade But I won’t care because your loving soul Will live on with mine I am not afraid Of death; for our love will never go cold Instead it will burn as bright as the stars And all will hunger for a love like ours.
My Prayers by Josie Alford In#days#gone#by#I#did#once#pray.#A#prayer## Silently#pleading#kneeling#by#my#bed# Transmi8ng#language#into#the#s;ll#air# Hopeful,#sending#it#up#over#my#head.# In#later#nights,#only#half#faithful# Offering#desperate#vows#to#a#missing# God#in#exchange#for#a#journey#less#painful# Above,#only#Orion#stood#watching.# And#now#it#seems#the#only#prayers#I#hear# Are#quiet#whispers#beneath#a#lover’s#breath# Falling,#blasphemy,#into#wai;ng#ears## We#lie#lonely,#together#in#this#bed.# So#in#spite#of#it#all,#we#have#prayer# Cries,#bargains,#Pleas,#to#whoever#is#there. PAGE EIGHT
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A Summer’s Day by Natasha McGregor Breathing. Sighing. Talking. Laughing. A summer breeze through the still bare trees. Breathing. Napping in the sun on a crowded green. Sighing. Kisses and hugs among nibbles and mugs. Talking. Throwing and kicking and missing the ball. Laughing.
Dancing. Hugging. Kissing. Sleeping. The hold all wrong, to laughs instead of song. Dancing. Two arms, two souls, two hearts, connected. Hugging. They meet, they stay, meant to be this way. Kissing. Sleeping.
Hoping. Wishing. Holding. Dreaming. Watching from a distance while sitting in the centre. Hoping. Knowing that this day was unique in every way. Wishing. Photographs. A video. Building memories. Holding. The first fun of the summer still to come. Dreaming.
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First line: She danced, and the world ended.
One may think that dares not speak.
Prompts Page Have you hit a dead end? Or just need some new ideas? Look no further - just choose an image, quote or exercise from the page and start writing. Try experimenting with a form you don’t usually write in.
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We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender. Winston Churchill to the House of Commons (4 June 1940)
A robot may not injure humanity or, through inaction, allow humanity to come to harm. Isaac Asimov’s zeroth law of robotics
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Love your words We all fall out with our work now and then, whatever its medium. But there is always hope. Editor Mac explains why. So you’ve done the hard work - the words are on the page and you’ve actually completed a whole piece, whether it’s a poem, a short story or a full novel. But we all know that’s not the end of the road, only the beginning. Now begins the long, hard slog that is the editing process. It’s one of the first pieces of advice we ever receive - the most important thing upon completing any work is space. You two have spent a lot of time together recently and you both need to breath. Of course, this is the point when, having spent some time apart, you realise you don’t actually like each other very much. First of all, relax. So you’re not very keen on your words. It’s a wellknown fact that artists don’t enjoy their
own work, finding it difficult to get past the (at least to them) obvious flaws and imperfections. Actors dislike seeing themselves on screen. Poets don’t read their own poetry for fun. So why should you, as a writer, be any different? The important thing at this early stage is to take a step back and look at it with a purely analytical eye. Write a list of exactly what it is you want from the initial read through and focus only on that. If this is too difficult for you to do, find someone else to read it for you. If you have a local writing group, go along and share some excerpts and get some feedback. If there are no groups near you, or if that sounds way too daunting, websites such as Scribophile are great places to receive critiques from
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other writers in return for you critiquing theirs. Not only will you get fair feedback from someone who isn’t your mum or your best friend - and therefore massively biased - but you’ll also improve your own feedback skills while reading some great undiscovered writers. On handing your work to someone else, always make sure you tell them exactly what sort of feedback you’re looking for. Do you want a blow by blow account of exactly what they loved and hated, or will a general overview of the structure and storyline be enough for you. There’s nothing worse than receiving negative criticism for something you knew wasn’t perfect. You do, of course, have to actually believe the critique you get back. If someone hates your main character or, worse, feels complete apathy for them, don’t jump on the defensive. Thank them for their time and ask what exactly doesn’t work about it. You won’t be next to your reader when they take it in, able to justify every decision you’ve made. the words have to work for themselves, so make sure they’re the right ones. Of course there is always the possibility that your work actually isn’t as good as you’d hoped. All is not lost.
At this point you go through with another (different) critical eye and find the good stuff. Trust me, it’s in there you’ve put hours of work into it so there will some chapters, a couple of scenes or characters who aren’t a complete dead end. Liberate them. They may be the start of something new and better. Most importantly, don’t let it get you down. There will be works you create that won’t be, for whatever reason, right for the world to see. Every word you right makes you learn more about your style, your craft, and the best way you work. If the manuscript you wrote on the laptop in bed isn’t great, perhaps you should get a desk. If your characters are a bit bland, try basing them on real people (loosely - people can get quite offended if they think the character based on them is less than perfect). What you should always remember is you’re doing this because you love it, so don’t let the love disappear. Yeah, there are few words in that file you don’t get on with. So make some new friends - there are a thousand combinations of words and phrases, character and places, creatures, monsters and things that could happen. Let them loose.
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Twist of an Old Tale by Anna Nazarova-Evans I don’t feel like setting up the stall today. The Farmers’ Market has just expanded and shoppers are already flowing in as we are laying the tablecloths. Another big event, which means Claire will be here, the new WI trainee journalist, admiring my jams just so she can get close to Donal. I noticed it a few weeks ago. She twists her curls round her fingers when she speaks to him and giggles. She must be one of those new wave, pole dancing, slow-clapping Women’s Institute members. Here she comes. Claire’s fresh face appears by Iolanda’s Mexican baking stand. I wish my skin was still as smooth as hers. The aromas of cinnamon and coconut made saliva collect in my mouth as we set up the stall earlier. Now, as Claire chirrups away about exotic flavours, they make my stomach churn. She trots over. “Hi Deborah! Your jams look lovely as always,” she says, examining the tester jars. “Cherry, Black Pepper and Apricot?! That’s fantastic. Are these cocktail inspired?” Claire makes notes on her flip chart. Donal coughs. “Actually, I came up with that one.” “You did?” Claire says twirling a lock of hair round her index finger, then turns to me. “Well, that’s a lovely combination. I’ll add it to my list of modern twists on WI traditions for the article. Any more ideas in the pipeline?” “No,” I say taking a step back from the counter. “But where do you get the inspiration?” Claire asks, her big blue eyes wide open. “In me!” Donal budges in. And here it goes – her giggly laugh, that can only be to entice my husband… but then something happens that shakes me awake. Donal pulls his spectacles down to the end of his nose and smiles coyly over them. “We’re not all lost causes, us old men.” That phrase and the tone trigger a long forgotten memory of working in my first teaching assistant job for Mrs Hutchinson, the greatest tutor I ever had. I hung on her every word and followed her around like a puppy dog, even after she spread the rumour about me being after Mr Hutchinson. No, of course I wasn’t. I nervously twisted my hair and laughed, because I was perplexed by the advances of someone old enough to be my father – what else could I do? Now that I think about it, Donal only started helping me with the fairs after meeting Claire two months ago. At the thought of how distant Mrs Hutchinson became, even though I adored her, I step back to the table. “Why don’t I come by the office tomorrow, Claire?” I say smiling at the girl. “I’m trying out new ways of making chutneys. Perhaps you could mention them in your article. I won’t bring this old bore.” We share an understanding nod, as Donal peers over the top of his spectacles.
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Book Of The Month
11.22.63 by Stephen King Published by Hodder Paperbacks, RRP £6.99
From Doctor Who to Back to the Future to the Terminator films, time travel has proven to be a concept full of endless potential for brilliant, imaginative stories. The past and the future, after all, are pretty big places to have adventures in. So what can Stephen King, one of the most successful authors of modern times, bring to the table where time travel stories are concerned? Reviewer Richard Southworth finds out. ! Maine!schoolteacher!Jake! Epping!gets!a!shock!one!day!when! he!finds!his!friend,!a!diner!owner! named!Al,!has!become!significantly! older!and!terminally!ill!overnight.!Al! explains!that!some!?me!before,!he! discovered!a!temporal!portal!in!his! diner!which!leads!back!to!the!year! 1958!–!his!apparently!sudden! physical!changes!are!due!to!him! spending!a!few!years!living!in!the! past,!with!the!intent!of!preven?ng! the!assassina?on!of!John!F!Kennedy!in!1963.!Al! didn’t!make!it!that!far!–!but!he!successfully! persuades!Jake!to!take!up!the!same!mission!in!
ISBN 9781444727333 the!hopes!of!changing!history!for!the!beKer.! Thus,!Jake!goes!back!to!1958!where!he!must! wait!five!years!for!his!date!with!des?ny,! spending!the!intervening!?me!building!a!new! life!for!himself,!inves?ga?ng!the!leadMup!to!the! assassina?on,!and!–!to!make!things!especially! complicated!–!falling!in!love.!!! ! Jake’s!journey!is!exci?ng!and!intriguing,! despite!the!fact!that!he!needs!to!wait!five!years! to!properly!fulfil!his!purpose,!and!it’s!too!soon! to!even!carry!out!any!kind!of!detec?ve!work!for! much!of!that!?me.!He!manages!to!keep!himself! busy,!and!the!reader!interested;!King!even! introduces!some!ac?on!rela?vely!early!on,!by! having!Jake!try!to!prevent!a!tragedy!in!the!life! of!one!of!his!presentMday!pupils.!The!whole! thing!is!made!more!complicated!by!a!unique!–! and!clever!–!element! of!?me!travel!that!King! brings!to!the!table:!if! you!try!to!change!the! past,!the!universe!itself! tries!to!stop!you.!If! you’re!driving!to!do! something!that!will! change!future!events,! your!car!will!break! down!or!the!road!will! be!blocked,!for! example.!Jake!is!forced!to!wrestle!with!this! invisible!adversary!throughout!the!story,!with! the!consequences!ranging!from!inconvenient!to! extremely!painful.
The whole thing is made more complicated by a unique – and clever – element of time travel
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! While!this!may!not!be!a!horror!novel,!it’s!got! Stephen!King’s!unmistakeable!mark!on!it:!not! just!his!writer’s!voice!and!the!dialogue!of!his! characters,!but!some!eeriness!too.!Things!like!a! few!inexplicable!coincidences!that!Jake! encounters!make!us!wonder!just!what!kind!of! force!might!be!lurking!in!the!background.!In!the! end,!as!with!many!of!King’s!stories,!the!reader! is!leV!to!fill!in!some!of!the!gaps!of!how!it!all! works,!but!that!doesn’t!bring!down!the!story.! King!even!connects!11.22.63!to!his!larger! universe!by!having!some!of!the!children!from!It! make!a!cameo.! ! The!world!of!the!late!FiVies!and!early! Six?es!that!King!portrays!is!very!detailed,! clearly!showing!the!differences!in!places!and! people!between!then!and!now.!Much!of!the! ?me,!it!looks!more!innocent!and!idealis?c!than! today;!but!Jake!deliberately!highlights!the!fact! that!this!isn’t!the!full!story,!using!a!gas!sta?on! toilet!facility!for!coloured!people!as!his! example.!There’s!also!a!lot!of!detail!regarding! the!Kennedy!assassina?on!itself:!King!claims!to! have!read!“a!stack!of!books!and!ar?cles!on!the! subject!almost!as!tall!as!(him).”!This!research! isn’t!just!necessary!for!the!sake!of!historical! accuracy;!a!further!complica?on!in!Jake’s! mission!is!the!possibility!that!the!conspiracy! theorists!are!correct!and!Lee!Harvey!Oswald!
wasn’t!the!gunman.!King! has!his!own!conclusion! on!that!front,!and!applies! it!to!the!story,!but!I!won’t! spoil!it.!Oswald,!a! necessarily!important! figure!in!the!story,!is!very! well!explored,!even! though!our!narrator! never!has!an!actual! conversa?on!with!him.! ! This!being!the!issue!of! Bibliophilia!that’s! covering!Valen?ne’s!Day,! it’s!appropriate!that! romance!plays!a! significant!role!in!the! story.!The!rela?onship!that!develops!between! Jake!and!fellow!teacher!Sadie!Dunhill!is!one!of! the!best!fic?onal!romances!I’ve!read!recently.! With!the!likeability!of!the!two!characters,!and! the!obstacles!they!have!to!face!(Jake’s! priori?es,!problems!in!Sadie’s!past,!and!the! liKle!fact!that!Jake’s!a!man!out!of!?me),!I!got! really!invested!in!the!rela?onship!and!definitely! didn’t!feel!it!was!taking!up!too!much!of!the! story.!I!also!liked!how!Jake’s!rela?onships!with! Sadie!and!others!are!affected!by!the!things!he! has!to!hide;!both!how!his!friends!are!clever! enough!to!realise!that!something’s!up!and!call! Jake!out!when!necessary,!and!how!they!s?ll! value!Jake!enough!to!give!him!support!when!he! needs!it.!! ! If!I!had!to!find!a!flaw!in!this!story,!it! would!be!that!Jake!is!a!bit!too!generic.!He’s!far! from!being!a!cardboard!cutMout,!but!he!doesn’t! have!all!that!many!quali?es!that!make!him! stand!out!as!a!character.!However,!the!story! doesn’t!suffer!for!this;!I!was!s?ll!very!invested!in! his!journey.! ! 11.22.63!is!one!of!the!best!Stephen! King!novels!I’ve!read.!Definitely!check!it!out!if! you’re!a!fan!of!King,!but!with!all!the!different! elements!contained!therein,!I’d!certainly! recommend!it!to!anyone!else!too.!!
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WHAT WE'RE WORKING ON Mac I’ve been working on a novel for the past year, and despite falling out with it massively not so long ago, I’m working hard to edit and tidy it so it’s ready to be sent out to prospective agents and publishers.
Elle Two years ago during NaNoWriMo I made my first attempt at writing a romantic novel. It has been gathering dust since then. I've decided to dedicate the romantic month February to salvaging, rewriting and editing the oversentimental, gooey 50000 words which I achieved during the month of November. I'm also planning to plot two more gruesome and grim modern fairy tales as a little light relief from my romantic endeavours.
We all feel connections to our work sometimes positive, sometimes negative. This month our contributors share the projects they are working on and how they feel about them.
Anna I am currently working on a piece of Flash fiction based on a story my grandmother told me when I was six. It revolves around a relationship between a girl and her pet pig. Every time I re-read it for editing, I remind myself to avoid eating pork. My grandmother's actions seem as upsetting now as they did when I was a little girl.
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Josie Because of my full time job it is difficult to find the time to focus and write new poetry, especially as I find myself thinking about my job and getting frustrated during my free time. In an attempt to find new ways of connecting with my poetry I have been planning on performing again at some open mic nights around Bristol (Watch this space).
Richard I’ve had difficulty writing fiction so far this January, but I have been keeping my blog up to date. I’ve had the blog for a year now; I feel very proud of how much I’ve put into it and that I’ve had a decent number of views and followers. Occasionally it’s hard to think of new ideas for posts though; I like to keep things diverse.
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A LITTLE LESS LIT Sex Education IT’S VALENTINE’S DAY. LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX. I DON’T CARE WHETHER YOU ARE BONKING EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND EVERYONE ELSE UNDER THE SUN; WHETHER YOU DO IT WITH ONE PERSON FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE OR LOTS OF PEOPLE IN ONE GO; OR IF YOU AREN’T DOING IT WITH ANYONE. WITHOUT SEX EDUCATION, ESPECIALLY THE BASIC CONUNDRUM OF WHERE BABIES COME FROM WE WOULD ALL BE VERY CONFUSED.
Just like my friend who, because of
and the voluminous amount of sex “tips”
the slang term “sleeping” with someone,
that Cosmopolitan has spewed over the
used to think that it was no wonder he had
years, it’s a wonder I’m not more confused
so many siblings because his parents slept in
than I am. But it was with the help of a
the same bed every night. I want to tell you
YouTube channel called Sexplanations that I
about my experiences, what I learnt and
have learnt more about sex, sexuality and
when, the good, the bad and the downright
gender identity than ever before.
wrong. What with the gaps in my school’s curriculum, my church preaching abstinence
Now then, the sex education in my school wasn’t too bad in the grand scheme
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ISSUE FOUR - FEBRUARY 2015
The only things I remember are a cartoon boy’s voice breaking and doing a role play about contracting Hepatitis C
of things. It seemed to get the basics sorted;
the national
periods and what-goes-where logistics. Our
curriculum for science
school nurse did her best to eliminate any
is not compulsory.
awkwardness and encourage questions. But
Schools are
despite her best efforts we always sat in
encouraged to teach it
stony silence with the occasional awkward
and there are lots of
giggle. I never really understood what she
guidelines but schools
was talking about and the only things I
can decide how much
remember are a cartoon boy’s voice
they want to teach and parents can
breaking and doing a role play about
withdraw their children from classes should
contracting Hepatitis C. Also, I was never
they wish.
taught how to use a condom; I think I am
Another key source of information
one of the few, maybe I just missed that
(or lack thereof) was my church and its
class or my school just had a banana
youth group. To summarise the teaching I
shortage that day. But in the end, I knew
received on sex as a young woman: “don’t.”
about STI’s and pregnancy and how to avoid
Sex would ruin your relationship with God.
both. However this was not the way for all it
It would make you impure. It was reserved
seems; when I started preparing for this
for the realm of married people in order to
month’s article, I asked on Facebook about
pro-create – and it certainly wasn’t fun or
people’s experiences of sex ed; one of my friends
One of my friends had to
had to watch a zoomed in
watch a zoomed in video of a
video of a woman giving birth. This sounds cringy and traumatising enough except the teacher then
woman giving birth. I’m surprised their entire class wasn’t put off sex for life
decided to rewind the
enjoyable. It was something not be discussed or debated. Yet all the good looking charismatic leaders at the front of the youth camps would admit to premarital sex and no one
video, they “saw the baby
batted an eye because they
get sucked back up into the vagina at double
were now married. It seemed sex was only
speed. It was mortifying.” After watching
acceptable for married people, and it was
that video I’m surprised their entire class
also ok to admit to premarital sex once you
wasn’t put off sex for life. But something I
had the ring on your finger. In our local
was a little upset to find out is that sex
youth group sex was reduced to a series of
education, beyond that which is covered by
metaphors around Valentine’s Day. One year
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ISSUE FOUR - FEBRUARY 2015
we were shown a demonstration with play
good place to start. However there are some
dough, two different colours were folded
dangers when accessing so much
into each other, in the same way the colours
information – not all of it will be useful:
could not be separated we could not regain
amongst the many statistics, the most
our virginity and purity once lost. However
popular number claims that the internet is
this comes from the same people who
supposedly 37% porn. Watching porn can
preferred men in power purely because they
create unrealistic expectations, pressure on
were men, said that I as a woman would
partners and upset when it doesn’t happen
have to do what my husband wanted just
like it does on screen. Anyone else seen Don
because he was a man, or that my friends
John? However one of my biggest downfalls
were wrong for loving each other because
when I was younger was Cosmo and their
they were the same gender – balls to all of
sex “tips” which are available in numbered
that. Not to mention the play dough looked
lists in abundance online – it is also worth
awesome with the pretty swirls of different
noting the sheer amount of blogs and
colours.
articles ridiculing said lists. If you would like to read the pure idiocy of some of these “tips” by all means google it, but let me break down the reasons I have a problem with them: 1) They are ridiculous, cringy and if anybody actually did them it would be hilariously weird. 2) They are predominantly about pleasing men; “girls keep your man happy by
But what if the basics aren’t enough?
doing these silly things or he won’t love you
It’s all very well and good telling us what goes where, telling us to be safe doing it or
anymore.”
telling us not to do it at all, but what about
3) They encourage paranoia and
the rest of it? Isn’t there some romance or
distrust within relationships with
something? Where do we find out how to
large numbers of articles advising
do it like the movies? The same place you
what to do if you think he is
are reading this magazine – the magical and
cheating.
mysterious land of the internet seems a
Cosmo do a disservice to men by saying they are all cheating or at least thinking
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ISSUE FOUR - FEBRUARY 2015
about it; and an even bigger disservice to
studies that I would never have known
women by saying that this is normal
about who have shaped how we as a culture
behaviour and we should try to please them
view sex. So not only is this channel
anyway. But fear not! There are exceptions,
incredibly useful, it is downright interesting.
there are places online where people can share experiences and learn from each other. With some intelligent googling you can find some genuinely useful information. To save you from searching, or at least give you somewhere to start, I wanted to share with you one of my favourite online resources at the moment: The point I’m trying to make is that
Sexplanations. The YouTube channel is fronted by Dr Lindsey Doe who is an
sex education too often carries negative
American Sexologist with a doctorate in
connotations. People tend to look back on
human sexuality. She gives frank, honest and
any sex education classes with
helpful advice on lots of different things,
embarrassment and talking about sex is
and backs it up with explanations of
considered a taboo by most people. But I
theories on sex and sexuality. One of the
fear that not discussing it fully and honestly
things I have learnt the most about is
can actually do more damage, without these
sexuality & gender identity including Trans
conversations people cannot make informed
awareness. She deals with these often taboo
decisions. People who are pro teaching
issues with a kind honesty which is
abstinence without any sex ed in America
refreshing and it’s helped me understand a
often believe that in doing so it will stop
community that is often stereotyped and
teenagers having sex. I, however, believe
stigmatised. I just watched her most recent
that people will have sex whether we talk
video in my lunch break called “Choices”
about it or not, we might as well give them
she explains about the history of birth
the knowledge they need to make informed
control in America and its entanglement
decisions and avoid unwanted pregnancies
with the law. She discusses the controversial
and STI’s. So let’s talk about sex and in the
figure of Margaret Sanger and her campaign
words of Lindsey Doe: “stay curious.”
for access to birth control. Without this channel there are important figures and PAGE TWENTY-TWO
ISSUE FOUR - FEBRUARY 2015
TEARABLE PUNS If you have a bad pun you think should be shared with the world, send it to us! Email us at bibliophilia@outlook.com with ‘Tearable Puns’ as the title.
I tried to catch some fog I mist
What do they do to dead chemists? They barium
I was in a show about puns It was a play on words
I didn’t like my beard at first But it grew on me
School trip to the Coca-Cola factory I hope there isn’t a pop quiz
How do you make holy water? Boil the Hell out of it
Energizer bunny arrested Charged with battery
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity I can’t put it down
My friends bakery burned down Now his business is toast
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