Bibliophilia 6 - Guilty Pleasures

Bibliophilia

ISSUE SIX Trenz Pruca APRIL 2015 24 September 2014

Issue six Guilty Pleasures

Book vs Movie Which will emerge victorious

CHOOSE THE RIGHT PROGRAM FOR SELF-PUBLISHING YOUR BOOK Plus short fiction, poetry, book reviews and more

ISSUE SIX - APRIL 2015

Copyright ©2015 by Bibliophilia Magazine All prose and poetry rights are reserved by the contributing authors. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the individual author.

NEXT ISSUE!!

The new year is a time for new starts, new resolutions, and new beginnings.

Considering this we have decided our theme for January’s issue will be THE SEA Whether these are broken, unfulfilled or anything in between - be creative! As always please follow our submission guidelines and make sure your contribution is with us in plenty of time to be included.

Submission Guidelines Our guidelines are few and simple. We want to make it as easy for you to submit to us as possible and want to make our rules (such as they are) easy to follow. So here’s all you need to know: ‣ All submissions must be sent to bibliophilia@outlook.com by the 20th of the month to appear in the next month’s issue. ‣ All submissions must be sent as a pdf or word attachment, with your name, your pen name (if different), a short author bio (no more than 50 words) and your twitter name/ blog address in the email body. ‣ Short fiction can be no longer than 2,000 words, with the words ‘fiction submission’ as the subject of the email. Longer submissions will be considered on a case by case basis. ‣ Poetry can be no longer than 40 lines, with the words ‘poetry submission’ as the subject of the email. Up to three poems can be sent together. Longer submissions will be considered on a case by case basis. ‣ Features can be no longer than 1,500 words; proposals must be sent in the first instance with the words ‘features proposal’ as the subject of the email. Longer submissions will be considered on a case by case basis. ‣ All submissions must be sent via email - we do not accept snail mail submissions at this time.

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ISSUE SIX - APRIL 2015

Regular Features

THE FIRST BATTLE IN OUR BOOK VS MOVIE SERIES PAGE 12

A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR What an issue we have in store for you this month.

We have a new feature on page 12 where we pit books against their movie counterparts in a battle to see who is best. We also have another close reading by Josie, this time by everyone’s favourite bard, Shakespeare.

Next month we have another great new feature - yours truly will be interviewing published authors to get you some quickfire advice on how to submit, polish and edit your work.

So until next month, don’t binge too much and enjoy the pleasure (that needn’t be guilty) that is reading the features and stories within.

CLOSE READING OF THE BARD’S RUDEST WORK PAGE 16

Submission guidelines and next month’s theme Page 1

Follow us on Twitter: @bibliophiliamag

From the Editor and contents Page 2

bibliophiliamag. wordpress.com

Our Contributors Page 3 Our guide to the best writing programs

Page 5 Poetry Corner Page 8 ‘Old Stuff’ flash fiction Page 9 Prompts page Page 10 Book vs Movie Page 12

Book of the Month Page 14 Close Reading of Sonnet 135 Page 16

Mac

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SELF PUBLISH PROGRAMS USED AND REVIEWED PAGE 5

ISSUE SIX - APRIL 2015

CONTRIBUTORS A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE WORDS

Editor

Our Regulars Natasha McGregor - Editor Having written various genres since she was a teenager Natasha is looking forward to a new challenge in editing Bibliophilia. She is also working on her first full length novel and writing a collection of poetry.

Twitter: @Natasha2Mc

Literary Reviewer

http://natasha2mcgregor.wordpress.com

Richard Southworth - Literary Reviewer Following prolific but not terribly original writing as a child, Richard got back into proper writing in 2009 by competing in National Novel Writing Month. He currently has eight NaNoWriMo victories under his belt, in addition to writing book reviews and the occasional short story.

Twitter: @PneRichard

Features Writer

http://velociraptor256.wordpress.com/

Josie Alford - Features Writer Josie is 21 and lives in Bristol after finishing a degree in English Literature. She writes poetry and is saving money for a masters in creative writing. Her blog is full of all of her poetry and she aims to get into more performance poetry – follow her on twitter for updates!

Twitter: @AlfordJmo

Features Writer

http://thefaultymanufacturing.blogspot.co.uk

E"eMay - Features Writer Elle May lives in Lancashire but her heart is travelling around the world. She lives with her parents, sister, and any visitors who extend their stay. She spends her days quietly thinking or loudly voicing her profound thoughts hoping someone will understand what she is saying. http://masiejane.wordpress.com/ 

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Guest Writers Anna Nazarova-Evans - Flash Fiction Anna has completed two writing courses at the Folk House, Bristol. She was also successful in writing 50,100 words for NanoWrimo in November 2014.

She lives in Bristol with her husband and cat.

Twitter: @AnitchkaNE

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE FOR US - WE ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM POETRY TO SHORT FICTION TO FEATURES - THEN GET IN TOUCH VIA BIBLIOPHILIA@OUTLOOK.COM MAKE SURE YOU CHECK OUT OUR SUBMISSION GUIDELINES ON PAGE ONE TO GIVE YOURSELF THE BEST CHANCE OF BEING PUBLISHED

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ISSUE SIX - APRIL 2015

WRITE NOW WITH… Self publishing has come a long way over the past decade. It is no longer the stuff of vanity publishing but an alternative to traditional publishing with many new authors opting to successfully self publish. With this in mind, in the last of her series of articles on writing programs Elle-May will be reviewing Amazons Createspace and KDP, and Fastpencil.

Createspace and KDP both offer a DIY Independent Publishing account for free but you will need to set up separate accounts for both platforms. Createspace offers a ‘self publishing to print’ service and KDP is for publishing ebooks. As they are both owned by Amazon it makes it easier to launch your book onto all of Amazon Marketplaces. Both platforms offer paid for services as well but for this review I shall look at DIY self publishing with minimum costs.

Createspace takes you through the process of creating a ‘real book’ step by step.

The process is easy and the program makes suggestions to make your book more ‘readable’ for readers. The minimum amount of pages is 24 for a print book, there are options for different sizes, cover styles, fonts etc. The pre designed book cover templates are basic so it would be better to design your own for uploading. All the tools are free and you can review the whole before publication. Your book is printed on demand so you pay when someone orders and this is taken from your royalties account. I found KDP easier to work with when creating the ebook version. It was quicker, less hassle to convert my files to a suitable format, and no need to create a book cover. The quality of both finished books was satisfactory and could be better if I spent more time working on them.

Now that you have your finished book you need to sell it. Createspace and KDP make your books available throughout all Amazon

sites and Kindle devices for free. Amazon also owns ACX, an audiobook publishing site. Once you have created your book with Createspace you can submit it to ACX, search for a narrator or narrate the book yourself. Audiobooks are a fast growing market and ACX will distribute your audiobook to audible.com, amazon.com and iTunes.

Let’s talk about money. Money is a taboo subject for writers because most of us live in perpetual poverty and clinching a six figure book deal is like winning the lottery. It happens and deep in our hearts we hope that one day it will happen to us. Createspace advertises ‘up to 80% royalties’. This is before a 30% US holding tax and publishing expenses. They have a calculator to estimate your royalties based on your book. After trying various cost factors I concluded that actual earnings would be between 20% and 30% of your book price. The whole exercise was rather redundant as I had problems setting up an account. According to the United States IRS I don’t exist.

KDP was a lot simpler. There are two royalty options, the first is a fixed 35% and you can price your book from 99p. The second is a little more complex at 70%. Your book cannot be priced any lower than $2.99 (about £2.05), and delivery, distribution and publishing costs still need to be deducted. The 70% is only available on certain Amazon sites, there’s also lots of small print about offers, price matching and returns. There is a royalty calculator to help

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do the maths. The 70% looks good but as a by authors using Fastpencil I have estimated new author launching my first book I wonder if royalties of 20% to 25% for a printed book after the 35% would be better because of the option taxes and publication costs and 50% for an to set the book at a low price. ebook (both exclude the original distribution Fastpencil is based in California and payment).

There is much to think about when self offers a leading software program to get your book ready for publication. With Createspace, publishing your debut novel. The process looks after it had converted my word document to a daunting, but so was writing and editing a novel more suitable format, and you’ve already achieved that. I I had to download learned you cannot do it during one There is much to think rainy afternoon but with time and the updated file then upload it again. With patience you can design and create about when self Fastpencil I had your own book at a minimum cost. to upload each Both programs offer paid for services publishing your debut chapter separately if you need help, but be careful. The novel. The process after that the excitement of publishing your book program took send costings spiralling out of looks daunting, but so can control. There are control, and unless you put maximum options to change was writing and editing effort into selling your book you could the style and size, end up out of pocket. and various basic Createspace is low cost but not designs for book covers with an option to as easy to use as Fastpencil. Fastpencil creates upload your own. I was disappointed that I a more professional looking book but couldn’t preview my book at each stage, I like distribution is costly. Kindle Direct Publishing is to design and change things as I go along. I low cost and easy to use and is a popular opted for the standard setting and the result platform for debut authors but you can only was very professional. I could only preview the publish ebooks. There are more self publishing book in its print form but was satisfied that the companies out there and it is a growing sector. ebook would be just as good.

My advice would be to shop around, look at Creating your book may be free but the quality of the finished product, hidden after that Fastpencil falls short. There are three costings, and distribution. I suspect that soon options for publication. The Private option for the vanity publishers will climb on board the self $9.99 has no distribution; a set number of your publishing boat. Put your business head on, book is available for you to buy. Marketplace, yes there will be costs to self publishing, but also for $9.99, distributes your book on the costs should reflect the quality of the Fastpencil’s book store. Wide distribution for finished product. $299 makes your book available in both formats on Fastpencil, Amazon and Barnes & Noble for 3 years, after that a charge of $19 per year is required to keep your book in distribution.

I couldn’t find details of royalties or final costings until I submitted my book for publication, at which point I would be charged, and there was no handy calculator. Once you have submitted your book you cannot change anything if you did you would have to pay the distribution fee again. From the feedback given

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Amazon Createspace

Amazon KDP

Fastpencil

Ease of use

3 - Once files have been 5 - Very easy and converted you need to upload straightforward. and download again Uploaded files are automatically converted for publication

5 - You upload your files, choose your options and it does the rest

Techno-babble

5 - Simple instructions and simple language. Problem with the tax forms. It is an U.S. company so exemption forms must be filled out

5 - Easy instructions

5 - Easy to use

Quality

4 - Satisfactory on screen.

‘Real’ book quality unknown

4 - Standard ebook quality

5 - Excellent quality on screen, ‘real’ book unknown

Distribution

4 - Only distributed to Amazon sites but Amazon is a popular online marketplace

5 - Distributed on all Amazon sites and available for all Kindle devices

3 - You have to pay for a distribution package every time you publish

Costs

5 - Print on demand so you only pay when a book has been sold.

4 - You only pay once the book has been sold. It’s not clear what the costs are for and come under ‘delivery charge’

3 - Initial distribution costs of $299 plus renewals. Print on demand so publishing costs are only paid when a book is sold, these are slightly higher but you get what you pay for

Royalties

4 - 20% to 30% does not seem a lot but it is about average. Your book has been a labour of love not profit

4 - Two royalty options. One set at 35%, the other more complicated but potentially more profitable

3 - Information on royalties is elusive and I have made estimations on hearsay

Overall

4 - A good starting point once you get past the initial tax paperwork

5 - For a debut 3 - Excellent quality, author who is happy suspicious pricing to publish ebooks only this is a brilliant platform

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Poetry Corner Confession

by Natasha McGregor

My dearest Edmund I hope you are happy on your expedition I hope you haven’t lost yourself or any others I hope the beasts and bugs are treating you well Mother sends her love My darling Meg We lost the compass on day one We lost the guide to a poison arrow on day two We lost the investor on day three I don’t think I’m very good at this Edmund I love you I think you’re right I enclose the fare home Safe journey

Darling it is Thou that hast My Will

by Josie Alford

Darling it is thou that hast my will The Night just past I had thine will again And in that sweet prison thou hold me still Thou hast will’d out the thoughts of other men.

Wilt thou whose control is secure and strong Not grant myself and mine own will freedom?

Shall others be free their will to act on Whilst I remain just part of thine kingdom?

Although I believe I do love him still, My covetous will must be gratified.

Art thou the one my desires to fulfil?

Too many times in the past I have cried Over you because I just could not kill Your beautiful, insatiable will.

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Old Stuff

by Anna Nazarova-Evans There she is - Elvie, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, wearing all my clothes whilst I stand here in the rain.

Her eyes, framed by thick black eyelashes, are half closed as if locked in a dreamy gaze towards Dave's bachelor pad. I want to touch her skin, run my fingers through her jetblack hair, but the glass between us is thick. The blue dress she’s got on is mine. I used to wear it with pride. Now seen through the shop window it looks like a piece of Honolulu sky, a place I will never visit.

They delivered her earlier today.

“A vintage shop isn’t just about old stuff,” Dave told me. He used a penknife to cut through the duct tape on the box. Out she came - Little Miss Perfect created according to the latest advances of technology with a selection of detachable limbs. Her plastic flesh exuded a faint but distinct smell.

He erected her on the stand and marvelled for a minute. He’d never looked at me like that.

“I'll call her Elvie,” he said. My heart plunged.

This was the first time Dave bought anything new for the shop.

He took off my dress leaving only the silk underskirt underneath.

“You won’t be needing this any more, old girl, will you?”

I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to hit him, but I remained silent watching calmly as he undid my buttons one by one.

He pulled up her stockings, trying not to scratch her with his coarse hands. Her feet were smaller than mine and my shoes needed padding. Dave walked back and forth to the kitchen to get more newspaper before he remembered about me.

“There we go, old girl,” he said, throwing an old sheepskin coat over my shoulders.

“Cover yourself up.”

I felt the seams prickle through the lining. A patch of dust and dead moths quickly formed around my feet.

I hate her, I said to myself.

He placed Elvie in the best position in the shop window - between a seventies reproduction of The Last Supper and a wedding dress. Then he rang Mr Borisovski's charity.

“I'll leave it outside for you,” he said. “I'm closing early today... Yes, I am actually. I've signed up for some salsa classes.”

He closed up and left without saying goodbye. I’ve been stood here since, observing her through the window and contemplating my fate. She looks so beautiful and calm. I can’t help but feel my resentment drain away.

Mr Borisovski must have been put off by the rain. He will come over in the morning when the sun paints the sky a bright blue. He will put me under his armpit and carry me like a log across the road in front of Elvie's watchful eyes. The wet fur will glisten in the light, the same way it did when the sheep wore it. It’ll make me feel like I too have been alive once. The top of the coat will flap open bearing my breasts, but I won't be ashamed they're only plastic. !

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First line: They sent me because I don’t exist…

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Prompts Page Have you hit a dead end? Or just need some new ideas?

Look no further - just choose an image, quote or exercise from the page and start writing. Try experimenting with a form you don’t usually write in.

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Guilt is cancer. Guilt will confine you, torture you, destroy you an as artist. It’s a black wall.

It’s a thief.

Dave Grohl

I’ll be glad to notice You’re wearing the very blouse you wore yesterday, A sign you’re still the person I think you are Carl Dennis From ‘Repetition’ (2015)

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BOOK VS MOVIE I Capture The Castle by Dodie Smith IN THE FIRST INSTALMENT OF THIS WAR OF THE WORDS OUR EDITOR MAC CHOOSES ONE OF HER OWN GUILTY PLEASURES - YOUNG ADULT FICTION. HERE SHE PITS INTERWAR NOVEL ‘I CAPTURE THE CASTLE’ AGAINST IT’S 21ST CENTURY COUNTERPART

The story Written in 1949 and set in the Suffolk countryside I Capture The Castle is the story of Cassandra Mortmain and her somewhat bohemian family: her beautiful sister Rose; her eccentric father, a once successful writer; artists’s-model stepmother Topaz; handsome Stephen, part labourer, part ward; and Thomas, her effortlessly intelligent younger brother.

Together they live in a crumbling castle on the edge of a small village, overlooked by an elderly gentleman in the manor house some miles away.

Enter two young men, Simon and Neil Cotton, arrived from America to take over the estate after the death of their grandfather. The story follows Cassandra

and her family’s new relationship with the Cottons, with the young men and their own family, charting all of the ups and down a great drama contains.

The book “I write this sitting in the kitchen sink.”

For me this is one of those opening lines that drags the reader immediately into the story, on a par with “Lyra and her daemon moved through the darkening hall” ( His Dark Materials) and “Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much” (Harry Potter).

I haven’t read I Capture The Castle for several years, but it was my first choice

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when deciding on this feature. I had thought I had forgotten how engrossing it is. And, sitting in the Spring sunshine looking out on the Cumbrian countryside, I felt an affinity with Cassandra I have never felt before. I felt the power of my own surroundings, and could envision Belmotte Tower and its peaceful location like never before.

The prose - simple yet poetic, childish yet deeply evocative - does not feel 80 years old. In fact, until I did the research for this article I had always assumed it was a fairly recent novel. I was mistaken. It makes sense that it’s a little older - the descriptions of pre-WWII England are so perfectly formed they can only come from a person who had lived them. Village life is captured in a way that makes it tender and inspiring, rather than slow and boring.

The film The film starts a little too dramatically for my taste - in the first ten minutes you are bombarded with a mismatch or high-tension moments from throughout the book. As a viewer you are left gasping for breath trying to grasp who is who and when we are. One plus - they manage to squeeze the sublime first line into Cassandra’s voiceover.

After the manic opening it does settle down into a very true adaptation.

Some key events do seem a little glossed over, but of course that’s bound to happen in any film based on a novel. My biggest regret is a somewhat inane one, in that I missed Heloise. Yes, the dog. In the book she is a real character in her own right. And while she does appear onscreen she is certainly not the doting companion to

Cassandra she is on The prose is paper. simple yet But the poetic, childish casting. Oh my yet deeply goodness. I have evocative, and never seen characters does not feel 80 come to life so years old perfectly before. Bill Nighy is perfect as Mortmain, in a way I never thought he would be. He just…is. Romola Garai and Rose Byrne as Cassandra and Rose respectively play their characters perfectly and have a lovely chemistry on screen. The Cotton brothers are played by Americans Henry Thomas and Marc Blucas (who took time off from Buffy the Vampire Slayer to shoot the movie) who, again, play their slightly estranged sibling relationship very well. But the highlight for me has to be a very young Henry Cavill (yes, that’s right Superman) as Stephen. He is perfectly chiselled, softly-spoken and just plays the role fabulously. I have never seen a film adaptation with such spot-on casting and I am so glad of it.

The verdict I have loved the book from the first moment I opened it, and am glad to say I feel the same way about the film. It is faithful to all the rights parts, and takes just the right amount of liberties with characters and events that wouldn’t have worked so well on screen. Dodie Smith always wanted to see the story on screen, and I think she would be very happy with the way it has turned out. If you want to see something simple yet full of love and character, this is definitely one to pick up - in either incarnation.

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Book Of The Month

The DaVinci Code

by Dan Brown Published by Corgi, RRP £7.99

ISBN 9780552159719

Reviewer Richard Southworth examines the second book in the Robert Langdon series as his own ‘guilty pleasure’

The theme of this week’s Bibliophilia

issue is “Guilty Pleasures”, so I was left thinking of a literary guilty pleasure of mine that I could write about. It proved quite difficult. Had it been a film, there’d be no problem: there’s no shortage of films that I recognise as being flawed but which I still love watching. But I don’t tend to look at books in quite the same way.

Normally, if there’s a book I find to be a pleasure, there’s no reason for me to be “guilty” about it because its positive qualities are widely recognised. Then I remembered that there is a book which I enjoy reading but which hasn’t been so well received by critics, at least in recent years: The Da Vinci Code.

This book was a best-seller when it came out in 2003, selling tens of millions of copies and spawning a film adaptation within a few years. As much of its content could be viewed as attacking religion,

it naturally drew controversy – but it also attracted negative criticism for its literary flaws, both when it was first published and in the years since. I’m not sure what current sales of The Da Vinci Code are like, but you don’t tend to hear too many people talking about it these days.

However, if you missed the period when it was a hit, and are wondering whether to read it now, hopefully this review will give you some idea.

While visiting Paris, esteemed symbologist Robert Langdon is unexpectedly called to the Louvre, where the elderly curator Jacques Sauniere has just been murdered, having left a cryptic message before dying.

Langdon barely has time to process the situation before he is taken aside by police cryptologist Sophie Neveu, who tells him that he is in fact the prime suspect.

Langdon and Sophie face a major challenge: following the clues that Sauniere left behind and trying to discover the secret he was protecting, all while evading the police, and another hostile party who wants to see Sauniere’s secret buried forever.

Not only did the book draw controversy for its religious attacks, but for its literary flaws as well

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The reader is presented with a lot of plausible-sounding history throughout this book.

The first page of the book after the title briefly describes which content is supposedly fact (“all descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents and secret rituals”), though without saying what, if anything, is fiction. I confess that when I first read the book about a decade ago, I took a lot of the quite impressive history therein at face value, as well as some of the controversial claims made about Jesus and Christianity. But since then, I’ve learned many of the “facts” presented are either questionable or just plain wrong, to the point that other people have written entire books discussing or debunking them. At least such a thing teaches critical thinking, if nothing else.

And there are certainly other flaws too.

The characters are put in very basic roles – the everyman hero who comes from just the right

background to know what is needed, the supportive female companion, the vicious religious fanatic and the hostile police chief who are going after them - and they don’t change very much throughout the story. The simplicity and occasional clunkiness of the prose makes it feel more young-adult standard at times.

Background information is sometimes dumped on the reader in the form of flashbacks to Langdon teaching; the dialogue of his students in these scenes is particularly cringe-worthy.

And there’s a big twist towards the end that really caught me off guard on the first reading – but became less impressive when I read more of Dan Brown’s work and found he uses the exact same kind of twist in more than one other book.

But even though I’ve matured enough to recognise these flaws since first reading The Da Vinci Code, I still like it and enjoy reading it.

In my eyes, one of the worst things that a book or film can be is boring, and this one definitely isn’t. It’s classed as a thriller, and it does thrill.

Brown paces things very well: he makes sure you’re always aware of the different threads, and he likes to set up reveals to stir the reader’s curiosity, such as talking about Langdon’s reaction to a picture of Sauniere’s corpse without explaining just what he’s seeing until the right moment. There’s no shortage of action and suspense as the heroes rush to accomplish their goals while staying ahead of their various pursuers. For all its flaws, the prose remains very readable – and sometimes, you can just be in the mood for something like that.

Ultimately, you have to approach The Da Vinci Code in the right way. Don’t expect a classic, and don’t trust everything within that’s presented as “fact”. If you’re looking for an easy read, and an exciting thriller, than you can still do a lot worse than this one.

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Sonnet 135 by William Shakespeare A Close Reading by Josie Alford According to the Dictionary of Literary Terms and Literary Theory by J.A. Cuddon, a close reading of a poem is a “detailed, balanced and rigorous critical examination of a text to discover its meanings and assess its effects.” I can only hope I have done a good enough job and you find it interesting to read.

This month’s theme is guilty pleasures and to continue with my series of close readings I chose Shakespeare’s Sonnet 135.

Before I get started let me explain my reasoning in picking this particular poem; it’s all about sex – for is there a more guilty pleasure? But it is also considered amongst Shakespeare’s least successful – critics see it as clunky and forced; the rhythm does not suit natural speech, forcing the reader to slow down. Yet it is still one my favourites because of the sheer amount of innuendos Shakespeare manages to fit in there, if you’ll pardon the pun. For my dissertation I wrote a pastiche of this poem written as a woman, you can read it in Poetry Corner.

Shakespeare’s sonnets are arguably one of the most famous English sequences: he is the namesake of a whole sonnet structure.

However when looking at Sonnet 135 it is pertinent to look back at what came before him in the tradition. Although Lentini is credited with the sonnet’s invention, Petrarch was arguably the most famous early sonneteer.

The Petrarchan or Italian form usually had the rhyme scheme ABBA ABBA CDE CDE. The sonnet came to England with Sir Thomas Wyatt and the Earl of Surrey chiefly through translation around two decades before Shakespeare started writing in and adapting

the form. The traditional Shakespearean or Elizabethan rhyme scheme allowed for more flexibility as it included seven rhymes instead of the Petrarchan five (ABAB CDCD EFEF GG). However, Sonnet 135 only follows the Shakespearean scheme to an extent; the final quatrain and couplet include the first rhyme of “will”. This serves the dual purpose of the constricted form reflecting the speaker’s inability to think of anything else and also as a connection to the original Italian sonneteers and their frequent subject matter.

The sonnet tradition often included the figure of a cold and distant woman who is seen as being “owned” by another man whilst the poet is cursed with an unrequited, obsessional love. Of Shakespeare’s 156 sonnet long sequence; the latter half is devoted to a figure known as the dark lady. In Sonnet 135 she shares some similarities with the typical Petrarchan love, she is not “owned” by another man, she is powerful and wilful, she is the one who dominates and she has her choice of lovers – the speaker seeks to be one of them.

“Will” is used thirteen times throughout the fourteen line poem, with a variety of possible meanings including motivation, sexual desire, the genitalia of both sexes and even Shakespeare’s own name. The speaker begins addressing the woman;

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“Whoever hath her wish, thou hast thy will,/ And will to boot and will in overplus.” It is possible to argue that he is implying that whilst other women have their ways to get satisfaction, she has sex – too much sex, more than she needs. Interestingly the list of three in the first two lines is a technique often used in persuasive writing (anyone else remember their GCSE’s?), the speaker is using all the techniques he can to persuade the woman into bed.

Let us read on to the next two lines “More than enough am I that vex thee still/ to thy sweet will making addition thus.” Here the speaker argues that he is (or would be) enough to satisfy her, making an addition to her “sweet will”. The word will here could be read a number of ways: it could mean her vagina, him adding to it with his penis; it could mean her sexual desire, which he wants to be included in; also with its placement in the line, “will making” could arguably a reference to the act of sex. The speaker reveals that he has asked her before “that vex thee still”, he has been rejected and is still pestering her for sex. I have read that some critics believe that lines 3 and 4 show that he has slept with her and seeks to again because it is in the present tense; “more than enough am I”. However that train of thought contrasts so greatly with the tone of the rest pf the poem I would argue that it is intended as a future conditional but the speaker is so confident in his sexual prowess that he knows he is enough.

The second quatrain questions the woman: “Wilt thou, whose will is large and spacious, Not once vouchsafe to hide my will in thine?

Shall will in others seem right gracious, And in my will no fair acceptance shine?”

In the first question, the “wills” serve two possible meanings; the first instance could be referring to her ample sexual desire, according to the speaker she has plenty of desire so why won’t she accept his own? On another, cruder note it could be referring to the physical state of her vagina which is “large and spacious” after having so many lovers; he wants to “hide [his] will in [hers]”. This is obviously unflattering to the woman; the speaker sounds like a lover scorned who is then seeking to discredit her. Lines 7 and 8 ask the woman why she accepts the sexual advances of other men but not the speakers. Are the “wills” (sexual desires or penises) of other men acceptable but not his own? Again the speaker pleads with the woman, trying to ascertain why she will not lie with him.

Lines 9 and 10 contain the only pastoral imagery in the poem; the sea still accepts rain even though it is all water.

Interestingly the sea is personified as a man, though this could be a reference to Neptune the Roman god of the sea, it is the only time a male is mentioned in the poem and not merely alluded to as a rival lover. The speaker goes on to justify that the woman should accept his love following the sea’s example; “So thou, being rich in Will, add to thy Will/ One will of mine, to make thy large will more.” Here, the speaker seems to be settling for just a part of her “Will” even if it means sharing her with others, he is now encouraging her sexual greed if it means including himself.

In a Shakespearian sonnet the final two lines are a rhyming couplet and are often used as a resolution for the poem. The speaker

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uses the significant part of the poem to bestow some final advice on the woman; “Let no unkind no fair beseechers kill; / Think all but one, and me in that one Will.” Arguably, the speaker asks her to not hurt any kind lovers by denying them or with an “unkind no”. He tells her to think of all potential lovers (or penises) as the same and he should be included in the group of her lovers and his penis should be included in her “will”. On the other hand, the word “kill” could arguably be reference to the French “le petite mort” an idiom or orgasm, in which case the final rhyming couplet becomes a plea for her not to sleep with any other “kind beseechers”. The final use of “Will” in turn becomes the speakers name, he could be saying when you think of “will” and all that it means think of me also.

So then, speaker’s tone is that of a man who has been rejected sexually in favour of other lovers, and who is then simultaneously pleading for acceptance whilst also discrediting her as a lover. To put it simply, the speaker has been friend-zoned and is bitter about it. He wants her to himself but having been rejected is now pleading for just a piece of her “will”. With this sonnet Shakespeare addresses the sonnet tradition and subverts it, he uses a more restricted rhyme scheme and the theme of unrequited love like earlier writers but he is rather more open about what he wants from his love, rather than cloaking it with a recurring pastoral motif. This poem is all about sex, judging by my February article you might have realised that I find what people write about sex to be fascinating. Sonnet 135 is no exception and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Please read my version in Poetry Corner, and follow me and the magazine on twitter.

Sonnet 135 Whoever hath her wish, thou hast thy Will, And Will to boot, and Will in over-plus; More than enough am I that vexed thee still, To thy sweet will making addition thus.

Wilt thou, whose will is large and spacious, Not once vouchsafe to hide my will in thine?

Shall will in others seem right gracious, And in my will no fair acceptance shine?

The sea, all water, yet receives rain still, And in abundance addeth to his store; So thou, being rich in Will, add to thy Will One will of mine, to make thy large will more.

Let no unkind, no fair beseechers kill; Think all but one, and me in that one Will.

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