South Carolina Living January 2012

Loca l H e ro e s

South Carolina’s WWII veterans SC Sto r i e s

January 2012

Born to sing

THE MAGAZINE FOR COOPERATIVE MEMBERS Vol. 66 • No. 1 (ISSN 0047-486X, USPS 316-240) Read in more than 450,000 homes and businesses and published monthly except in December by The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc. 808 Knox Abbott Drive Cayce, SC 29033 Tel: (803) 926-3 1 75 Fax: (803) 796-6064 Email: letters@scliving.coop EDITOR

January 2012 • Volume 66, Number 1

FEATURE

16 On the hunt for gators

Recreational harvesting of North America’s largest reptile surges in popularity, thanks to rebounding alligator populations and a hit TV show.

Keith Phillips FIELD EDITOR

Walter Allread PUBLICATION COORDINATOR

Pam Martin

ART DIRECTOR

Sharri Harris Wolfgang DESIGNER

Susan Collins

4 CO-OP CONNECTION Cooperative news

6 ON THE AGENDA

PRODUCTION

Andrew Chapman WEB EDITOR

Van O’Cain COPY EDITOR

Susan Scott Soyars Contributors

Becky Billingsley, Larry Chesney, Mike Couick, Tricia Despres, Jim Dulley, Tim Hanson, Carrie B. Hirsch, Jan A. Igoe, Charles Joyner, Shandi Stevenson, S. Cory Tanner Publisher

Journey back in time to a pivotal battle of the American Revolution in this month’s round-up of weekend events. Plus: Learn how to save money on your power bill with a myth-busting energy quiz.

POWER USER DIALOGUE

10 Homegrown heroes

Lou Green ADVERTISING MANAGERS

Tel: (800) 984-0887 Dan Covell Email: dan@scliving.coop Keegan Covell Email: keegan@scliving.coop National Representation

National Country Market Tel: (800) NCM-1181 Paid advertisements are not endorsements by any electric cooperative or this publication.

If you encounter a difficulty with an advertisement, inform the Editor.

ADDRESS CHANGES: Please send

to your local co-op. Postmaster: Send Form 3579 to Address Change, c/o the address above.

South Carolina’s electric cooperatives pay tribute to the veterans of World War II. ENERGY Q&A

12 Know your options

Consider efficiency when replacing your home’s heating and cooling system.

SMART CHOICE

14 Nothing but fun

Got a holiday gift card burning a hole in your pocket? Here are seven fun ways to spend it.

Periodicals postage paid at Columbia, S.C., and additional mailing offices.

Meet Ella Mae Bowen, the 16-year-old singer/ songwriter from Walhalla who’s hard at work on her first album for a major Nashville label.

SCENE

22 Honoring the

Greatest Generation

21

Calling all World War II veterans: We want YOU to join the co-op Honor Flight to Washington, D.C., this April.

OUTSIDE

26 The perfectionist

Gunsmith Kenny Jarrett earns his reputation for top-quality products one rifle at a time.

TRAVELS

28 The fast and the famous

NASCAR legends get the hero treatment at the Darlington Raceway Museum.

RECIPE

30

CHEF’S CHOICE

32 An Orchid in full bloom Loca L H e ro e s

South Carolina’s WWII veterans sc sto r i e s

January 2012

Born to sing

South Carolina’s electric cooperatives are recruiting veterans for an allexpenses-paid trip to the National World War II Memorial in Washington, D.C. Memorial photo by Lee Milverton. Photo illustration by Sharri Wolfgang.

Member of the NCM network of publications, reaching more than 7 million homes and businesses

heart out

Lucy’s olive balls Oven pork stew Miss El’s grits pie

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

Printed on recycled paper

STORIES

21 Singing her

30 New Year’s kitchen kickoff

© COPYRIGHT 201 2. The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc. No portion of South Carolina Living may be reproduced without permission of the Editor. is brought to you by your member-owned, taxpaying, not-for-profit electric cooperative to inform you about your cooperative, wise energy use and the faces and places that identify the Palmetto State. Electric cooperatives are South Carolina’s — and America’s — largest utility network.

SC LIFE

At One Hot Mama’s on Hilton Head Island, chef Orchid Paulmeier serves up “good food with a little bit of attitude.”

HUMOR ME

38 Kourtney and Khloe take Kabul America’s ultimate weapon, if it comes to a DEFCON 1 scenario, is right there on the front pages of the tabloids.

34 MARKETPLACE 36 SC EVENTS

28

On the Agenda For a listing p m co lete s, see of Event 6 page 3

Highlights TOP PICK FOR KIDS

JANUARY 14–15

Cowpens Battle Anniversary Celebration FEBRUARY 1-27

It’s been 231 years since Gen. Daniel Morgan’s Patriot troops gave the British “a devil of a whipping” in a livestock pasture near modern-day Gaffney, turning the tide of the Revolutionary War in the process. Park rangers at Cowpens National Battlefield will mark the anniversary with a free living history weekend packed with family-friendly events, including site tours, musket firings and hands-on demonstrations of what life was like for colonial South Carolinians during the war.

For details, visit nps.gov/cowp or call (864) 461-2828.

Hilton Head Gullah Celebration

Brought in bondage to the Lowcountry of South Carolina, African and Caribbean slaves blended their native tongues and traditions to forge the unique dialect and culture of the state’s modern-day Gullah population.

That heritage is celebrated on Hilton Head Island during the entire month of February with an art exposition, Gullah breakfast, gospel concerts, plays, a 5K run, golf tournament and seminars. Highlights include the Taste of Gullah food festival on Feb. 11 and the Crab Expo on Feb. 18–19.

For details, visit gullahcelebration.com or call (843) 683-0489.

FEBRUARY 4

FEBRUARY 4

In the final months of the Civil War, 1,200 Confederate troops at Rivers Bridge near Ehrhardt attempted to stop 5,000 of Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman’s Union soldiers on their march to Columbia. The Union won the two-day battle, and today the battlefield and its fortifications are a State Historic Site. Feb. 2–3 marks the 147th anniversary of that fight, and a guided tour of the site will be offered at 2 p.m. on Feb. 4.

Break out the bell-bottom jeans and the leisure suits, because disco is back! Retro Fest, the annual fundraiser for the Piedmont chapter of the American Red Cross, kicks off in Spartanburg Memorial Auditorium and is billed as “one funky party.” Attendees don afro wigs and ’70s attire to Hustle the night away and compete for the cash prizes awarded to the best-dressed dancers. The party band called Sleeping Booty will provide the tunes; hanging mirrored balls, beaded curtains, beanbag chairs and lava lamps provide the vibe.

Rivers Bridge Battlefield Tour

For details, visit southcarolinaparks.com or call (803) 267-3675.

6

Retro Fest

For details, visit piedmontredcross.org or call (864) 583-8000.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

FEBRUARY 15­–19

Beaufort International Film Festival

Film buffs can spend a long weekend screening submissions from some 200 filmmakers during the Sixth Annual Beaufort International Film Festival. Five categories include feature, documentary, animations, short and student, and there’s also a screenplay award. At this fund-raiser for the non-profit Beaufort Film Society you’ll pay just $5 to view a movie (popcorn not included) or you can buy a $125 pass to see them all.

For details, visit beaufortfilmfestival.com or call (843) 522-3196.

Email COMMENTS, QUESTIONS AND GOOD NEIGHBORS TO LETTERS@SCLIVING.COOP

Energy quiz

Myth or money-saver?

Interested in saving energy and lowering your electric bill? Test your knowledge of efficiency with this true or false quiz.

True or False?

It takes less energy to have your thermostat maintain a comfortable temperature while you are away for a full day of work than it does to have it heat up or cool down the house when you get home.

Answer: False. If you’re going to be gone for more than a few hours, you’ll save the most energy and money by lowering the thermostat in winter and raising it in summer whenever the house is vacant. Energy Star, a joint program of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the U.S. Department of Energy, recommends adjustments of about 8 degrees Fahrenheit while you’re asleep or away from your house.

Programmable thermostats are a great tool for making these adjustments automatic and hassle-free.

True or False?

When you turn off electronics (like TVs, game consoles and computers), they stop drawing power from the outlet.

Answer: False. Even when turned off, most modern electronics consume a small amount of electricity if they are still plugged in.

Chargers for mobile devices also consume electricity if plugged in, even when they are not actively charging the device. This wasted energy, called “phantom load,” accounts for as much as 10 percent of a home’s total electric use, according to the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory. The solution: Unplug your electronics when you’ve finished using them. Using a power strip can help you conveniently unplug multiple devices at once, while newer, “smart” power strips can automatically cut off phantom loads on their own.

True or False?

One of the easiest ways to save electricity is to seal small air leaks around windows and doors and make sure your home is adequately insulated.

Answer: True. According to Energy Star, small air leaks throughout your home can add up to the equivalent of leaving a window open— all day, every day of the year. Typical homeowners can save up to 10 percent on their total annual energy bill by sealing gaps and cracks and adding insulation.

Taking flight

In case you missed it on our Facebook page during the holiday bustle: Frankie O’Cain, a member of Aiken Electric Cooperative, was the winner of the Touchdowns with Touchstone Energy Contest. O’Cain, on the right in the photo, received two tickets to the South Carolina-Clemson game from Lou Green, executive vice president of The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina. He also took a thrilling ride over Columbia’s Williams-Brice stadium in the Touchstone Energy hot-air balloon. A Vietnam Veteran, O’Cain was inspired by his trip in the balloon to make a donation to Honor Flight of South Carolina, a Columbiabased group that escorts veterans of the “Greatest Generation” on all-expensespaid trips to Washington, D.C., to visit the National World War II Memorial. Turn to page 22 to learn how your local electric cooperative is sponsoring the next Honor Flight, and how you can help.

Find us on the web

Visit SCLiving.coop for bonus content and “behind the scenes” material we couldn’t fit in this month’s magazine. l Homegrown Heroes We’ve compiled more than 20 stories of World War II veterans who served with honor. You’ll be inspired by their stories of service and sacrifice. l Honor Flight Application Calling all World War II veterans—we want you! Apply now for a seat on the April 11 Honor Flight to Washington, D.C., sponsored by your local electric cooperative. l Energy Q&A Read more about heat pumps and how they can save money on your power bill. l The Great Gator Hunt Watch alligator hunters in action in two videos produced by the S.C. Department of Natural Resources. l S.C. Stories: Ella Mae Bowen Learn more about the rising country music star from Walhalla and how music is a family tradition. Plus: Bonus photos and videos.

Find us on Facebook

“Like” us on Facebook if you love living in South Carolina. Our new Facebook page celebrates all that’s good about life in the Palmetto State. Visit facebook.com/SouthCarolinaLiving to add your stories, photos and ideas to the conversation.

scliving.coop | January 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

7

On the Agenda Correction

S.C.RAMBLE!

By Charles Joyner, See Answer ON Page 35

Barking up the wrong tree

Match Boxes

2

3

1

8

5

7

5

8

4

1

5

4

6

M

A

E

S

L

V

L

S

T

E

L

T

R

2

4

M

T

Solve these multiplication problems and write your answers in the box tops, one digit to each box. Then match boxes to find the colorful name of a town in Greenville County in your answer.

Write SCL Letters to the editor We love hearing from our readers. Tell us what you think about this issue, send us story suggestions or just let us know what’s on your mind by writing to Letters, South Carolina Living, 808 Knox Abbott Drive, Cayce, SC 29033. You can also email us at letters@scliving. coop or send a note by fax to (803) 796-6064. All letters received are subject to editing before publication.

8

Several readers called or wrote to question our tree identification skills after reading the profile of Congaree National Park in the previous issue (“Life among the trees,” Nov./Dec. 2011).

So we went straight to source—Park Ranger Stuart Greeter, one of the two people shown on page 27 measuring the tree in question. “I’m quite certain that tree is the last one we measured on our trip, which is a big, old overcup oak,” Greeter says.

Gardening Tip

GONE FISHIN’

Shopping for seeds

The Vector Fish & Game Forecast provides feeding and migration times.

Major periods can bracket the peak by an hour. Minor peaks, ½ hour before and after.

A word of caution for gardeners who pass the cold, dark evenings of January by perusing seed catalogs and websites: Don’t let the tantalizing plant descriptions and photographs tempt you into buying more seed than you really need.

Sketch out your available planting area before ordering. Decide what you want to grow and how much garden area each crop will need to satisfy your family’s demand for fresh produce, your canning and freezing needs and any donations you’d like to make to friends or the local food bank. Calculate the quantity of seed needed to meet these goals—then increase your order by about one-third. This will ensure you have enough seed to replant “skips,” or areas of the row where the seeds don’t come up. For help determining the quantity of seed to purchase, as well as proper spacing and planting dates for vegetable crops, check out the fact sheet “Planning a Garden” (HGIC 1256) available for free from Clemson Extension’s Home & Gardening Information Center at clemson.edu/hgic.

Seeds are perishable, so don’t let any excess go to waste. Place leftover seed in sealed containers and store them in the refrigerator until the next planting season. For extra shelf life, use desiccant packets in each container to keep moisture levels low. When stored this way, most vegetable seeds will last more than three years with little decrease in germination rates.

— s. cory tanner

energy efficiency tip

Start the New Year with more efficient lightbulbs. Switch to energysaving halogen incandescent bulbs to cut lighting energy use by 25 percent. These bulbs last three times longer than traditional incandescent bulbs and can easily be dimmed. Learn more at energysavers.gov. Source: U.S. Department of Energy

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

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Still learning new tricks By now, just about everyone has heard of Chaser, the amazing border collie from Spartanburg who made international headlines when researchers at Wofford College proved she could parse language and understand more than 1,000 different words and 200 different commands.

Written up in scientific journals and featured on television, in YouTube videos and in numerous newspaper and magazine articles throughout 2011, Chaser demonstrated that dogs are capable of learning abstract concepts and making mental inferences, rather than just associating words with objects. For example, Chaser can retrieve an object she’s never seen before from among several familiar objects, in response to a name she’s never heard—apparently through a process of elimination—and she seems to recognize “categories” of words, such as “toy,” in addition to specific object names.

After a year of intense publicity, capped by a recent appearance at the American Psychological Association, it’s back to “work” for Chaser and her trainer/owner, retired ­psychology professor Dr. John Pilley. The pair are now declining public appearances as the professor continues to explore his companion’s capacity for understanding language. While Pilley works hard to design scientific experiments, Chaser has a criterion of her own, he says. “It has to be fun.”

To learn more about Chaser’s ability, visit chaserthebordercollie.com.

—shandi stevenson

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scliving.coop | January 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

9

Dialogue

The world was at war on Friday, Dec. 5, 1941, but that war was half a world away from rural South Carolina.

In my hometown of Clover, the Charlotte Observer’s front page carried headlines about the fighting in Europe, but most readers were chiefly concerned with how the weather (partly cloudy with a low of 52) might affect their weekend plans. Men looked forward to hunting birds, rabbits or squirrels, while the ladies probably didn’t look forward to fixing Sunday lunch—including catching, killing and skinning the chicken.

Seven young South Carolinians, ranging from age 16 to 22, began the day by starting off to various middle schools, high schools and colleges. One was starting a first job that morning, and another was asleep in his Army barracks. A little more than 48 hours later, their world changed.

On Sunday, Dec. 7, at 7:55 a.m. in Hawaii—1:55 p.m. in South Carolina—the first wave of Japanese planes began bombing and strafing the American naval base and airfields at Pearl Harbor. The news reached Clover at 2:30 p.m., probably on WBT, 1110 AM radio.

How shocking was Pearl Harbor? Think of 9/11, the fallen World Trade Center towers and the smoking Pentagon. Thousands dead. A nation shocked. Fortress America invaded—only the attack on Pearl Harbor wasn’t the work of a shadowy terrorist network. The aggressor was an industrialized nation with the world’s fifth largest economy (equivalent to France today), the world’s second most powerful Navy (equivalent to Great Britain’s today), and a standing army of 6 million troops (larger than the current armies of China, India or Iran).

The war was no longer just on the front page of the Charlotte Observer.

On Monday, Dec. 8, men lined up at recruiting offices.

Friends and brothers joined the service together. Women went to work in factories and took over managing the family farms. A generation of young Americans was thrust suddenly into adulthood with an awesome responsibility— save the world.

Those seven young South Carolinians all played a role in the victory, and on Dec. 5, 2011, I had the unique opportunity to visit with many of them and share their wartime stories. One joined the U.S. Navy as a W.A.V.E, becoming one of the first women to be fully enlisted in the armed services. One flew supply missions that kept Gen. George Patton’s tanks rolling in the North African Campaign. One served on a Navy supply ship that supported Gen. Douglas MacArthur’s successful invasion of the Philippines. One

10

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

Library of Congress

Homegrown heroes

New recruits await their train to Parris Island soon after Pearl Harbor’s bombing.

fought the Germans from a foxhole on the frontlines of Anzio in the push to liberate Italy. One witnessed the first wave of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, and later survived some of the bloodiest fighting of the Pacific Campaign. One fought his way across the Rhine River as the Allies pressed into Germany. One manned a 40mm anti-aircraft gun on a warship destined for the invasion of Japan had the atomic bomb not ended the war.

As we mark the 70th anniversary of World War II, your local electric cooperative is celebrating the service and sacrifices of our veterans by sponsoring a special Honor Flight to Washington, D.C., on April 11. Working with Honor Flight of South Carolina, we will host the men and women who served on a VIP visit to the National World War II Memorial, but we need your help to make sure every deserving South Carolina veteran has an opportunity to join us.

In the Co-op Connection section of this month’s magazine we’re proud to share the inspiring story of a local World War II veteran as a reminder that homegrown heroes are all around us. If you know any veterans of the “Greatest Generation,” please help us honor their service by pointing them to the story and application package beginning on page 22. Veterans can also register for the April 11 Honor Flight online at SCLiving.coop or by calling Betsy Hix at (803) 739-3024. The deadline for submissions is March 1.

While you’re at it, do yourself a favor and take the time to chat with a veteran about his or her experiences. It may take some coaxing, but they all have amazing stories and a lifetime of wisdom to share. You’ll come away from the conversation inspired.

Most World War II veterans are in their 80s and 90s now, and we lose nearly 700 of them a day. They deserve nothing less than our full respect and admiration, so let’s honor them while we can.

Mike Couick President and CEO, The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina

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scliving.coop | January 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

11

EnergyQ&A

BY jim Dulley

Know your options Consider efficiency when replacing your home’s heating and cooling system

Q

Water Furnace

My old heating and cooling system must be replaced. With high energy costs and future energy price volatility, how can I determine the best way to go?

A

GetMore For more details on air-source and geothermal heat pumps, see “Energy Q&A: What’s new in heat pumps” in the August 2011 issue and “Energy Q&A: Geothermal heat pumps” in the February 2010 issue. You can also find these articles online at SCLiving.coop.

12

Q A Trane

Your heating and cooling system is a long-term investment, one that you’ll be living with for 20 years or more. Calculating the “best” energy source over its life is difficult because the costs of heating fuels such as natural gas, propane and heating oil have shifted dramatically over the past decade and are likely to shift again.

Your local electric cooperative works hard to make sure you have reliable, affordable electricity and given the climate of South Carolina, modern air-source or geothermal heat pumps make good sense because a single unit can heat and cool your house efficiently.

A standard air-source heat pump is basically a central air conditioner with a few extra parts. The outdoor unit looks exactly the same as a central air conditioner. It is called a heat pump because it literally pumps heat out of your house (in cooling mode) or into your house (in heating

Energy-efficient heat pumps fall into two categories: Geothermal (shown at top) and air‑source (above).

mode) to or from the outdoor air.

Among central heating and cooling systems, geothermal heat pumps provide the highest efficiency and lowest year-round utility bills. While geothermal heat pumps have much higher installation costs (due to the need to place loops, or tubing, underground), a 30 percent federal tax credit—available through the end of 2016—can help lower the initial cost of a new system in your primary residence.

The primary advantage of installing a heat pump of any kind is it can provide year-round savings and shorten the payback period for your new system.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

Are portable heat pumps a r­ eliable alternative to space heaters or window air conditioning units?

Portable heat pumps are freestanding units designed for indoor use, and they can be used to heat a single room in winter or cool it in summer. Used properly, they can be an efficient choice, but they are not a substitute for a good central heating and cooling system.

I use a portable heat pump in my home office, and in heating mode it can produce 11,000 Btu per hour. This is much more heat than a standard electric space heater can generate using the same amount of electricity. In cooling mode, my portable heat pump produces 14,000 Btu per hour of cooling, an amount comparable to a window air conditioner.

Portable heat pumps like those from Soleus Air (soleusair.com) are often mounted on casters so they can be easily rolled from room to room.

Use it in the dining room for dinner, roll it into the living room for television, and then to the bedroom for sleeping. Most operate on standard 120-volt electricity, so they can be plugged into any wall outlet.

Send questions to Energy Q&A, South Carolina Living, 808 Knox Abbott Drive, Cayce, SC 29033, email energyqa@scliving.coop or fax (803) 739-3041.

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SmartChoice

By Becky BILLINGSLEY

Nothing but fun

REMOTELY FUN

Get your kicks with these entertaining gadgets and gizmos Now that the rush of the holidays is over, it’s time to get down to the not-so-serious business of spending those gift cards you received.

Here are a few ideas for treating yourself to a little fun.

WEARABLE GUITAR Strike up the band wherever you happen to be with the Electronic Rock Guitar Shirt from ThinkGeek. It plays all major chords, and strumming is achieved with an included magnetic pick that’s waved over the “strings.” The shirt even comes with a miniature amplifier that clips to your belt for impromptu gigs. When the shirt gets sweaty from energetic performances, just remove the electronic parts and toss it in the wash.

Uses four AAA batteries. $30. (888) 433-5788; thinkgeek.com.

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SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

PARTY ON WHEELS Guests will be amused, and you’ll be spared the chore of delivering beverages with the Remote Controlled Rolling Beverage Cooler from Hammacher-Schlemmer. A dozen bottles or cans, plus ice, will fit in this 40-inch insulated tub on wheels. An easy-to-use remote control moves the cooler left, right, forward and backward. Party on! $70. (800) 321-1484; hammacher.com.

CIVIL SERVANT R2D2, the ever-helpful android from Star Wars, can now help around the house. Developed by Hasbro, the 15-inch-tall robot responds to more than 40 voice commands such as “Hey R2, go on patrol!” and will play games such as tag, complete with cheating attempts. He answers yes-or-no questions, repeats dialog from the movies and, if you need justification for the purchase, can act as an alarm when set to detect motion. $200.

(800) 321-1484; hammacher.com.

ROCK ON UPDATED COLLECTION Turn those crates full of old vinyl LPs into the ultimate iPod playlist with the ION Easy Play LP. It looks like a normal turntable, but when you connect it to a computer with the provided USB cable, the songs can be saved digitally as MP3 files or recorded onto CDs. It even comes with a 45 RPM adapter. $100.

(800) 333-3330; staples.com.

MAGICAL REMOTE Put more magic in your life with The Kymera Wand. Turn on a television, flip pages on a smartphone or switch on a light—all with a magical flourish. Inside the wooden handle there is an accelerometer that recognizes up to 13 gestures which can be set to activate any electronic device with infrared remote control signals. $74. kymera-wand.com.

EYES ON THE PRIZE

CATCH THE ACTION Bird-watchers, stargazers and sports fans can zoom in on the action and capture it in high-definition video with the Sony DEV-3 digital recording binoculars. Features include low-light sensitivity, a 1920-by-1080 highdefinition resolution on movies and 7.1 megapixel still images, 2.5 hours of recording time on one charge and Dolby Digital two-channel sound. $1,400.

(877) 865-7669; store.sony.com.

ASTRONOMICAL EDUCATION Can’t differentiate the Big Dipper from Cassiopeia? That’s OK. The new SkyProdigy telescope from Celestron will do it for you. This educational toy uses patented technology to capture images of the sky and find more than 4,000 celestial objects without any user input. SkyProdigy weighs 18 pounds, requires no tools for assembly and has a Newtonian reflector with a 130mm aperture, a focal length of 650mm and a useful magnification of 307x. $500–$700. (310) 328-9560; celestronsites.com.

scliving.coop | January 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

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On t he h unT for

g ato r s 16

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

A slender shaft of bright green light

cuts through the darkness and falls on the armored shoulders of an American alligator.

The animal does not know it, of course, but the light is coming from the laser sights of a compound crossbow held by Megan Cline, a hunter who plans, in the next few seconds, to loose an arrow that she hopes will lodge soundly beneath the gator’s thick hide.

For two months now, ever since she received word that she was one of 1,200 hunters issued a state permit to kill an alligator in South Carolina, Cline has been anxiously anticipating this moment. And now, at just before 2 a.m. on a Friday in mid-­ September, seated on the bow of her hunting guide’s 22-foot flat-bottomed boat somewhere along the North Santee River, the moment has arrived.

Cline breathes easy, presses the stock of the crossbow against her shoulder and then squeezes the trigger. The arrow snaps forward into the night—but the shot is maybe an inch or so too high and passes over the alligator’s back.

For a few moments, Cline is nonplussed.

Did she unconsciously jerk the trigger at the last moment? Maybe the alligator moved unexpectedly and she didn’t notice. But before she can determine exactly what happened, the gator slowly slips beneath the surface of the river and swims safely away.

Blame it on Swamp People

Gene Images / iStock

A month earlier, in Moncks Corner, wildlife biologist Jay Butfiloski of the S.C. Depart­ ment of Natural Resources, stepped to a lectern to talk about all things alligator to a room filled with hunters. The meeting was the first of three such sessions he would lead around the state prior to the opening of the month-long 2011 alligator hunting season.

Batesburg-based river guide Brad Taylor knows where to look for gators.

Recreational harvesting of North America’s largest reptile surges in popularity thanks to healthy animal populations and a hit TV show

BY TIM HANSON • Photos by Milton Morris

Around the back walls of the ­auditorium, vendors—hunting guides, meat processors, taxidermists and merchants selling equipment unique to alligator hunting—tended to tables displaying their wares and services.

One vendor even offered up samples of deepfried alligator meat.

Butfiloski told the crowd that some 6,400 people from 42 states and Canada applied for a permit to hunt and kill an alligator in 2011—a 70 percent increase from the previous year.

“I have only one guess,” he says, speculating on the reason behind the spike in applications. “And that is the popularity of Swamp People.” The biologist was referring to the History Channel’s highly-rated reality television series that follows the adventures of Cajun alligator hunters in Louisiana’s sprawling Atchafalaya Swamp.

First-time gator hunters in South Carolina are often surprised by the differences between the commercial hunt portrayed on

scliving.coop | January 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

17

g ato r h u n t Living dinosaurs If nothing else, the American alligator— the largest reptile in North America—is a survivor. Scientists reckon that it has been around for 200 million years and walked the planet at the same time as their dinosaur cousins. And, 65 million years ago when those giant creatures were wiped out along with more than half of all animal and plant life on earth, the gator hunkered down and weathered the cataclysmic storm.

In the end, it was man that proved to be the alligator’s near undoing. Through much of the 19th and 20th centuries, alligators were hunted for their skins to satisfy a widespread demand for fashionable leather goods like handbags and shoes. Unregulated killing continued unabated until populations declined to such perilous levels that government agencies stepped in to save the species from extinction.

In South Carolina killing alligators at night became illegal in the mid-1950s, and nearly a decade later, in 1964, gator hunting was shut down completely. Federal regulations also curtailed hunting until the mid 1980s when the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service announced that the

iStock

Gator hunting by the numbers

450 13'6" 9'1" $1,000

The number of alligators harvested during the 2011 hunting season.

Length of the largest gator reported during the 2011 season. That monster weighed in at more than 900 pounds and was taken from the Cooper River.

Average length of all gators harvested in 2011.

For the record, a gator must be at least 4 feet long to be harvested.

Approximate fee for an experienced hunting guide—recommended for first-time hunters.

May 1 to June 15, 2012

Application period for a 2012 alligator hunting permit from the S.C. Department of Natural Resources. A non-refundable $10 application fee is required for each application. Hunters are selected by lottery and must pay an additional $100 fee to receive a permit to take a single alligator. For additional details, visit dnr.sc.gov/wildlife/alligator/index.html, or call (803) 734-3609.

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SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

American alligator had fully recovered, although its “threatened” status remains to this day. South Carolina reinstated a one-month fall hunting season in 2008.

Jay Butfiloski, a wildlife biologist with the S.C. Department of Natural Resources, says one of the goals of a recreational hunting season is to prevent problems with “nuisance gators”— animals that grow dangerously large and lose their natural fear of humans.

The agency is tracking the effect of the hunting season on the state’s alligator population, and while it’s still too early to draw conclusions, anecdotal evidence suggests the hunt is working.

“We have had people tell us that it’s getting harder to get up close to alligators, and that’s good—for us and the alligators,” he says.

the show and the realities of tracking down and killing a single animal in the wetlands of the Palmetto State.

Shooting at reptiles from a distance and setting baited hooks, to cite two examples, are not approved recreational hunting techniques.

“What you see on Swamp People is a highly commercialized activity,” Butfiloski says. “They can do a lot of things in Louisiana that we can’t do here. What we do in South Carolina is more of a recreational opportunity.”

Another striking difference is in alligator populations.

While Louisiana is home to some 2 million of the ancient reptiles, South Carolina’s population is closer to just 100,000 animals, spread throughout the state’s coastal plain. DNR divides alligator country into four hunting regions—the Midlands, Middle Coast, Southern Coastal and the Pee Dee—and it is in these areas that life for the alligator begins, humbly enough, inside an egg laid by its mother sometime during the month of June. The female alligator lays anywhere from 20 to 60 eggs in a mound-like nest built from mud and grass.

After incubating for about two months, the baby alligators break through their shells and begin peeping, sounds that prompt the mother gator to tear open the nest and meet her progeny for the first time. At birth, each baby alligator is about 10 inches long and is black with yellow stripes, temporary markings that will eventually fade away.

The youngsters will spend the next two or three years with their mother before venturing off on their own and, if lucky, will grow to be longer than 13 feet, weigh in excess of 1,000 pounds and live for a half-century or more.

Hunters, of course, prefer large trophy animals, and South Carolina has a reputation for big gators. During the 2010 hunting season, a woman from Massachusetts made national headlines when she killed an alligator in Lake

Moultrie that measured 13 feet, 6 inches and weighed in at 1,025 pounds. The record gator taken in South Carolina during the 2011 season, was a 900-pound monster from the Cooper River that also measured more than 13 feet in length.

On the hook

South Carolina alligator hunts are normally conducted at night from boats that skirt the edges of lakes or rivers. In accordance with state law, hunters use powerful hand-held spotlights to locate an animal before easing their way close enough to attach a line to the gator using arrows, harpoons or rods and reels outfitted with heavy treble hooks. But the gator, of course, does not easily surrender. Once hooked, it fights the line attached to its body, shaking its head, diving or executing a number of “death rolls” in an attempt to break free. The hunter must work the line to gradually bring the alligator alongside the boat, slip a wire snare around the animal’s head and administer the coup de grace using a knife, handgun or “bang stick” at the base of the gator’s skull. Then it’s a matter of wrestling the alligator into the boat, tagging it and heading for home.

Batesburg-based river guide Brad Taylor has seen his share of big alligators over the years, and has helped hunters fill their tags since the recreational season resumed in South Carolina in 2008. To date, his clients have brought home numerous trophy gators including five animals longer than 12 feet.

Now, it is Megan Cline’s turn. It is just after 7 p.m., with clear skies and temperatures riding easily in the mid70s. Cline, her husband, Travis, and assistant guide Mike Roland, settle in for their journey along the North Santee River as Taylor eases the boat away from the ramp just below the Highway 17 bridge south of Georgetown.

Wearing khaki shorts and a T-shirt with the image of an alligator on the back, Taylor stands at the boat’s console and pushes the throttle forward until the craft cuts through the water at exactly 18 mph. Over the sound of the boat’s Mercury engine, Taylor recounts his week: “Last night, we killed one gator that was 11 feet, 1 inch long and two nights ago we killed one that was 11 feet, 3 inches.” But he’s quick to add that there are no guarantees. Permit holders can only take a single animal, and finding the right gator takes patience, as Cline will learn over the next several hours.

Taylor throttles forward until the boat cuts through the river at full cruising speed. Just past Doar Point, he turns starboard into Six Mile Creek and settles the boat into a gentle cruising speed along the much narrower channel.

“There’s a real big gator that lives in here,” Taylor says, scanning the riverbank. “I want to see if we can get a look at him.” At about 7:30 p.m., he spots the first gator of the evening, but not the one he was hoping to see. After maybe a mile of motoring along the channel, he turns the boat around and heads back to the North Santee.

By 8 p.m., a classic coastal sunset filled with violent shades of red has finally yielded to night and now, as Taylor

On the ride up the North Santee River, Megan Cline, far right, and her husband Travis, center, get a briefing on alligator hunting techniques from assistant guide Mike Roland.

shines the spotlight along shore—first off the port side and then starboard—scores of alligators, their eyes shining like burning orange coals, begin to appear where before there had been only darkness.

Taylor snicks off the boat lights, cuts the main engine and uses a small electric trolling motor fitted to the port bow to navigate slowly and silently. The hunt begins in earnest as Cline takes a seat in the captain’s chair on the starboard bow, her compound crossbow at the ready.

A long night’s journey

Shortly after 9 p.m., an orange moon appears in the eastern sky. A breeze rises, tugging lightly at Taylor’s shirt, as he turns the boat into another channel. The waterway gradually narrows until its width is less than 30 feet—so narrow that the hunters can hear the wind rustling through the grass. Light spilling from one side of Taylor’s spotlight hits Cline’s crossbow and casts an ominous oversized shadow of the arrow’s triangular broadhead tip against the wall of spartina grass just a few feet away.

It will be hours yet before Cline will get a clear shot at a decent-sized gator, but smaller ones are all around. At one point, a standing patch of reeds on the port side begins to scliving.coop | January 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

19

g ato r h u n t

From top: Assistant guide Mike Roland holds the spotlight for Megan Cline as she subdues the injured but still-fighting gator. Brad Taylor wrestles it into the boat and loops Cline’s DNR tag through a slit made in the tail.

Below, Cline poses with her 8 foot, 2 inch trophy.

move and one small alligator, maybe four or five feet long, emerges. He swims directly toward the boat, then dips below the water’s surface. Those on board can hear and feel the gator’s bump-like scales, called scoots, rake the hull.

At 10:30 p.m., as flashes of lightning fracture the darkness, another alligator—a good one, maybe 10 feet or so— appears off the starboard bow a dozen feet away. Cline shoulders the bow and hits a button that turns on the green laser. She lays the beam of light on the gator’s back and is ready to pull the trigger when the reptile suddenly sinks back beneath the water’s surface.

Undaunted, Taylor and Cline continue the routine: spotlighting the shoreline in search of those glowing telltale eyes, easing the boat close enough to estimate the size of the animal—figure one foot in length for every inch between the gator’s nostrils and its eyes—and then hoping it stays still long enough to take a shot.

Other than good weather, Taylor tells his group, the key to a successful hunt is patience. “Finding the right gator can happen quick,” he says. “Or, if the animals are not feeding, you are going to have to camp out and be patient until you find the gator you want.”

Cline’s missed shot—her first of the night—comes more than three hours later near Little Crow Island. “I don’t know what happened,” she tells Taylor, as the guide recovers the tethered arrow from the river. “I thought for sure I had him.”

Cline now has been on the river for just about seven hours. She is disappointed by the missed shot and although not tired—the excitement of the hunt keeps any sign of fatigue at bay—she’s becoming concerned that the night might end without the filling of her hard-won gator tag.

But 20 minutes later, with lightning again painting the sky, her luck turns, as another alligator—Taylor thinks it may even be the same alligator that earlier dodged Cline’s arrow—is spotted floating on the surface of the river, it’s brown, cat-slit eyes taking in the approaching boat.

Again, Cline takes a deep breath and shoulders the bow.

She clicks on the laser and shines the green light beam onto the gator’s back. The light wobbles just a bit, then settles, and this time when Cline pulls the trigger her aim is true and the arrow burrows deep into the alligator’s hide.

By 2:30 a.m., the alligator is dead and Cline’s plastic blue tag, No. 11217, is attached to the animal’s tale. After eight and a half hours on the North Santee River, the small band of adventurers returns to shore, where Taylor measures the gator at 8 feet, 2 inches and estimates its weight to be about 180 pounds.

“It’s not the biggest gator in the river,” Taylor tells Cline as she poses for pictures with her trophy. “But he’s all yours.”

Web extra video See South Carolina alligator hunters in action on SCLiving.coop, courtesy of videos produced by the S.C. Department of Natural Resources from the 2008 and 2009 hunting seasons.

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SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

SCStories

SC Life

Singing her heart out

At an age when most kids can only think about getting a driver’s license or what to wear to prom, 16-year-old Ella Mae Bowen’s mind is occupied with song lyrics, musical arrangements and her next Nashville recording session.

In October, the talented singer/songwriter from Walhalla signed a recording contract with Big Machine Records—the label behind megastars Taylor Swift and Rascal Flatts—and she is hard at work on her first album, due out later this year. “I have to pinch myself sometimes,” she says. “There’s nothing I enjoy more than sharing my songs with people and I love the experience of being in the studio.”

Born into a musical family, she wrote her first song at the age of three, and grew up wowing audiences at local talent shows in Oconee County. At 11, she began working with a producer, fellow Walhalla musician Seth Bolt of the Christian rock band Needtobreathe. But it was the 2011 remake of the movie Footloose, featuring Bowen’s powerful vocals on the song “Holding Out for a Hero,” that brought her national attention.

In Nashville she’s a rising music star, but back home in Walhalla, where parents John and Gigi Bowen are members of Blue Ridge Electric Cooperative, she’s still just your average teenager, keeping up with her home school curriculum, spending time with her kid brother Jed and cheering for her beloved Clemson Tigers. “I can’t be any more thankful for what’s happening in my life right now,” she says. “It’s all I have ever hoped for.” —tricia despres

Ella Mae Bowen AGE: 16 HOMETOWN: Walhalla CLAIM TO FAME : Singer,

songwriter, newly signed recording artist FOND MEMORY: Playing in the waterfalls of the Blue Ridge Mountains

Milton Morris

LITTLE-KNOWN FACT:

Visit SCLiving.coop to watch the “Holding Out for a Hero” video.

Loves the “C’mon Man!” segment of ESPN’s Monday Night Countdown.

scliving.coop | January 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

21

SCScene

Honoring South Carolina’s ‘Greatest Generation’ Your electric co-op joins forces with Honor Flight of South Carolina to pay tribute to the veterans of World War II U.S. Army Cpl. Bronsil Metz, a native of Iva, woke up early and walked outside his barracks at Wheeler Field to take in the view of the mountains surrounding Pearl Harbor. But instead of a beautiful Hawaiian sunrise, Metz witnessed the infamous surprise attack that pushed the United States into World War II. “All of a sudden these planes, so many of them, came through there right over me, so low they were almost on the ground,” says Metz, now 89.

He began running across the tarmac to reach his battle station and almost didn’t make it. “This Japanese plane was diving down on us,” he says. “It was strafing the runway and coming right at me and I said, ‘Oh, God, I’m gone.’ The gunner had me in his sights—I could see him and he could see me, and for some reason he turned his gun up and flew over me.”

The attack at Pearl Harbor was only the first of many history-making events Metz would witness during the

Calling all World War II veterans

22

Walter Allread

Lee Milverton

On the morning of Dec. 7, 1941,

Bronsil Metz of Iva was stationed at Pearl Harbor in December 1941, and still feels fortunate not to be among the casualties. He married his sweetheart, Johnnie, soon after his 1945 homecoming.

war. He went on to serve in some of the bloodiest fighting in the Pacific Campaign, including Guadalcanal, the Northern Solomons and the Philippines. When he returned to South Carolina in 1945, he quickly married his sweetheart, Johnnie, and settled in to live his life.

Metz is typical of the World War II generation in rural South Carolina.

The men and women who saved the world came home, put away their military uniforms and went on to quietly build the state and country we enjoy

South Carolina Honor Flight veterans will visit the National World War II Memorial and other sites in Washington, D.C., this April 11.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

Applications are being taken now for the co-op sponsored Honor Flight departing from Columbia on Wednesday, April 11. The one-day trip also includes stops at the Korean War Memorial, Vietnam Veterans Memorial, the Iwo Jima Memorial, as well as a visit to Arlington National Cemetery to observe the Changing of the Guard at the Tomb of the Unknowns.

Any American veteran who served in the armed forces during World War II and who has not previously been on an Honor Flight is eligible. Preference will be given to members of electric cooperatives and their families, but all veterans are urged to apply. Use the application on the facing page, or fill out the online version at SCLiving.coop.

The deadline for applications is March 1.

For more information, call Betsy Hix at (803) 739-3024.

today. In rural South Carolina, that work included building the network of electric cooperatives that now serve more than 1.5 million people in all 46 counties.

The veterans of World War II are doers, not talkers, and as the nation marks the 70th anniversary of the conflict, we are at risk of losing their remarkable stories to the passage of time. Now in their 80s and 90s, these quiet heroes deserve to be honored for their service and sacrifice.

To pay tribute to South Carolina’s “Greatest Generation,” your electric cooperative and 18 others across the Palmetto State, have made a combined donation of $60,000 to Honor Flight of South Carolina. The funds will be used to fly veterans to Washington, D.C., on a VIP tour of the National World War II Memorial on April 11. This is ll

H H H H HONOR FLIGHT APPLICATION H H H H Honor Flight and The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina recognize America’s World War II heroes for your sacrifice and achievements by flying you to Washington, D.C. to see YOUR memorial at no charge. This Honor Flight is scheduled for April 11, 2012.

The one-day trip departs Columbia Airport at 8 a.m. and returns at 7:45 p.m. Honor Flight’s mission is to ensure every WWII Veteran is given the opportunity to experience this special tribute to your ­service to our country. Please submit application by March 1, 2012.

Date of Birth: ___________ /___________ /___________ (Month/Day/Year) Official Name: ______________________________________________________________________ Nick Name: ______________________________________________ Address: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ City & Zip Code: __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Phone: Day ( ________ ) __________________________ Evening ( ________ ) __________________________ Cell ( ________ ) __________________________ Email: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Occupation: ____________________________________________________________ Branch of Service: _____________________________________________________ Operating Force (Fleet, Division, Brigade, etc.): __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Rank at time of retirement: ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Activity during WWII:

Atlantic

Pacific

Both

Other: _____________________________________________________________

Hometown: _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ MEDICAL INFORMATION: Information about your medical needs will NOT disqualify you. It permits the physicians and nurses accompanying the flight to prepare and support any needs you may have. Honor Flight and The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina will not share your medical information.

Do you use mobility equipment?

Might you need a wheelchair at any time during the trip?

Yes

No

Yes

Do you use oxygen?

No

List any drug allergies: ______________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________

Do you have a history of seizures?

Yes

No

If yes, type: ___________________________________________________________ If your last seizure occurred within the last five years, you MUST discuss this trip with your physician prior to submitting this application.

Yes

No

You MUST submit your physician’s prescription for your oxygen for the flight at the time you submit this application. Honor Flight of South Carolina will provide the oxygen based upon the prescription. l If you use a nebulizer, you MUST discuss this trip with your physician prior to submitting this application.

A prescription for the nebulizer must accompany this application. Honor Flight of South Carolina will provide a portable machine if you do not have one. l If you have a urostomy or colostomy bag, you will need to bring an extra as a precaution.

Application Continues on next Page

scliving.coop | January 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

23

H H H H HONOR FLIGHT APPLICATION H H H H Application Continued from previous Page

Please list ALL of your medications Medication

Taken how often?

Medication

Taken how often?

____________________________________ ___________________________________

____________________________________ ___________________________________

____________________________________ ___________________________________

____________________________________ ___________________________________

____________________________________ ___________________________________

____________________________________ ___________________________________

____________________________________ ___________________________________

____________________________________ ___________________________________

Additional health-related comments or concerns: _________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Alternate/Emergency Contact (son, daughter, etc.): Name:

_________________________________________________________________

Address:

Relationship:

_____________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

City/State/Zip: _____________________________________________________________ ____________ _______________________________________________________________ Phone: Day (

________

)

__________________________

Evening (

________

)

__________________________

Cell (

________

)

__________________________

Email: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Guardians play a significant role on every Honor Flight, physically assisting veterans at the airport, during the flight and at the memorials.

Will you need the assistance of a guardian?

Yes

No

You are a member of which electric cooperative? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ Who referred you to Honor Flight? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ T-Shirt Size:

XXXL

XXL

XL

L

M

S

Please review and sign: I, the undersigned, acknowledge and agree that, as photographic and video equipment are frequently used to memorialize and document Honor Flight trips and events, I grant permission for my image, voice and/or likeness to appear in any public forum, such as the media or Honor Flight promotional material. I hereby waive any rights, compensation or ownership thereto.

Furthermore, I acknowledge that medical insurance is my responsibility. I understand that Honor Flight and The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina do NOT provide comprehensive medical care or medical insurance. It is my responsibility to discuss medical issues with my physician prior to the trip. I accept all risks associated with travel and other Honor Flight activities and will not hold Honor Flight, The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc., or any electric cooperative responsible for any injuries incurred by me while participating in this program.

Print Name: ________________________________________________________________ Signature: ________________________________________________________________ Date: ___________ /___________ /___________ (Month/Day/Year) Please submit form to:

Honor Flight, The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina 808 Knox Abbott Dr., Cayce, SC 29033 24

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

For telephone inquiries: (803) 739-3024 To apply online: www.scliving.coop

SCScene better with this money than the What is Honor Flight? to give it to Honor Flight,” first time in the history of he says. “Our World War II Honor Flight of South Caro­ Honor Flight Network is a national non-profit organization veterans deserve to know lina that one group has created solely to honor America’s veterans for their sacrifices. Since the inaugural flight in 2005, the organization how much we appreciate paid for an entire trip, says has flown more than 63,000 veterans to Washington, D.C., them.” founder Bill Dukes, and it for VIP visits the National World War II Memorial.

Couick and Dukes were comes at an opportune time.

Columbia-based Honor Flight of South Carolina, founded joined at a December Recent statistics indiin 2008, is the state “hub” of the network (which also announcement of the flight cate World War II veterans includes groups in Charleston, Greenville-Spartanburg and

by U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint, across the U.S. are passing Myrtle Beach) and to date has flown 11 chartered trips to who also contributed to away at the rate of 670 per the nation’s capital, honoring more than 1,200 veterans in support the program. day, and the organization the process.

DeMint’s father served is in a race against time to “The idea is real simple,” says Bill Dukes, a Columbia in the U.S. Army Air Corps make sure all surviving vetrestaurateur who founded Honor Flight of S.C. “We want during the war, and the erans have a chance to visit every veteran of that war to have an opportunity to see the World War II Memorial.” senator and his staff often the memorial. Honor Flight While the co-op donation provides full funding for the meet with Honor Flight vetof South Carolina is also April 11 flight, Dukes is planning several more trips in 2012, erans during their visits to eager to reach more veterand seeking additional private donations to cover the the memorial. The sacrifices ans in the rural areas of the costs of future flights while there is still time to honor of the World War II genstate, Dukes says.

World War II veterans. “We’ve been really fortunate to have eration provide an inspir“No question, the so much community support, but it’s a never-ending job to ing lesson for today’s youth, window for this program make sure we can cover expenses.”

DeMint says. is beginning to close. And To make a donation toward future Honor Flights for “It’s not just to honor the that’s why I am so thrilled South Carolina veterans, visit HonorFlightSC.org, or call veterans and to make them about the partnership with (803) 582-8826. feel good about what they the co-ops. I think they’ll did, it really is to remind a find the vets we haven’t younger generation of the character we thought we could serve.” been able to reach,” he says. of this country,” he says. Now, more Honor Flight’s track record made “It was an answer to our prayers,” than ever, “We need courage; we need it a natural choice when the coopDukes says of the co-op sponsorship. character. And we need to be inspired eratives sought a way to honor the “We’re losing our veterans at such a be those who, without meaning to state’s World War II veterans, says fast rate. This flight we’re going to be heroes, signed up so willingly to Mike Couick, CEO of The Electric take April 11 ensures we have the give their lives for their country, their Cooperatives of South Carolina. opportunity to serve an additional fellow countrymen and the concepts “We couldn’t have done anything 100 to 120 World War II veterans than of freedom that we created for the whole world.

“I appreciate the co-ops taking this U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint has greeted previous groups of South Carolina Honor Flight on as a project,” DeMint says. “There’s veterans at the National World War II not a better group to do it.”

[honor flight, cont.] ll

Memorial in Washington, D.C.

GetMore Homegrown Heroes: Mike Couick, CEO of The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, shares his thoughts on the extraordinary service of our state’s “Greatest Generation” in “Dialogue,” page 10.

Co-op Connection/Web Extra: Read about a World War II veteran who lives near you in this month’s Co-op Connection. Then visit SCLiving.coop to meet more than 20 other veterans who served with honor.

scliving.coop | January 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

25

SCOutside

BY LARRY CHESNEY

The perfectionist Gunsmith Kenny Jarrett earns his reputation for top-quality products one rifle at a time Kenny Jarrett isn’t a

namedropper, but when you enter his office it’s hard to miss the wall of signed photos featuring some very familiar faces: Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf, Chuck Yeager, Ted Turner, Chipper Jones, Hank Williams, Jr., Davey Allison, Travis Tritt and Dale Earnhardt, to name a few. All satisfied customers of one of America’s finest makers of precision hunting rifles.

Jarrett has been hunting deer around the family farm since he was old enough to carry a rifle, and his experience as a sportsman and competitive marksman led him to question the capabilities of some outof-the-box barrels. “I believed that I could build a better one,” he says.

That was in the late 1970s. Since then, Jarrett has specialized in handcrafted rifles that surpass the most rigid standards of the industry, and command prices generally ranging from $5,400 to $11,000, though some custom-built pieces can cost as much as an SUV. Another photo on his office wall GetMore speaks to his To find out more demand for perabout Jarrett Rifles, visit fection: It shows jarrettrifles.com or call Jarrett taking a Rissa Jarrett, (803) 471-3616. saw to the barrels

26

Kenny Jarrett, right, poses with his children and business partners Jay and Rissa. More than 30 years ago Kenny set out to build a better rifle; today, a custom Jarrett Rifle can cost as much as an SUV.

of rifles that didn’t meet his approval.

Never mind the fact that his rejects may be more accurate than most factory-produced rifles. When something isn’t perfect, Jarrett culls it.

“I made bench rest rifles before I made hunting rifles, so I know how a gun should be put together,” says Jarrett, a member of Aiken Electric Cooperative. “When you’ve been doing this for nearly 34 years, you have a culmination of experience that is priceless.”

His family-run company is tucked

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

away on Cowden Plantation near Jackson—10,000 acres of pines and hardwoods, planted fields and vast cypress swamps, bordered by the Savannah River— where a small team of craftsmen make every part of their product except for the rings and the trigger.

And no rifle leaves the plantation without first being tested on the range.

“We shoot every rifle, develop custom loads that are a perfect match, and we guarantee that you’ll like it, or you get your money back,” Jarrett said.

Jay Jarrett, Kenny’s son, is the company’s production manager and like his father, a stickler for long-range shooting accuracy. “Most people don’t realize there are a thousand different little things that go into making a rifle,” he says.

“What my dad has done from the beginning is to make all those things as perfect as they can be to get that end result we’re looking for.

And that’s half-inch groups of three shots at 100 yards. That, in turn, gives us the accuracy we need, out to even 1,000 yards.”

While the company produces fewer than 200 guns a year, it’s that one-gun-at-a-time philosophy that keeps long-term clients like Troy Major of Springfield, Mo., coming back. “These guns are shooters,” Major says. “They’re not ‘pretty boy’ guns. They’re made to hunt.

Incredibly accurate. Incredibly dependable. Nobody makes a gun that shoots better than Kenny’s.”

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scliving.coop | January 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

27

SCTravels

TEXT AND PHOTOS BY TIM HANSON

The fast and the famous NASCAR legends get the hero treatment at the Darlington Raceway Stock Car Museum Mike McNeely, a devoted NASCAR fan

since he was a boy, had driven past the Darlington Raceway Stock Car Museum many times over the years but was always in too much of a hurry to drop by for a visit. Then one warm afternoon in early September on his way back from Myrtle Beach to his home in North Carolina, he stopped to take a look around.

“It’s extraordinary,” McNeely, 38, said as he strolled through the museum galleries that highlight many of the drivers he followed in his youth.

“It helps bring back a lot of those old NASCAR memories from years past.”

McNeely is one of thousands of racing fans from around the United States who visit the museum each year to pay homage to their beloved sport and the legions of drivers who took NASCAR from humble beginnings to the most popular spectator sport in the nation.

Darlington raceway holds a special place in the hearts of NASCAR fans because it was the sport’s first paved speedway. Before that, rough-andtumble drivers competed on rural dirt tracks scattered throughout the South.

The Darlington Raceway Stock Car Museum showcases 62 years of track history with stock cars—including the 1950 Plymouth that Johnny Mantz drove to victory in the first Southern 500— and profiles of the drivers who raced them.

GetThere The Darlington Raceway Stock Car Museum is located at 1301 Harry Byrd Highway in Darlington.

9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday–Friday, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday, and 11 a.m. to 4 p.m on Sunday.

Hours:

$5 for adults. Children under age 12 are admitted free of charge.

Admission: Details:

28

(843) 395-8821, darlingtonraceway.com

The museum was built in 1965 and was originally called the Joe Weatherly Stock Car Museum in memory of the popular 1960s driver who had long championed a museum honoring the

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

sport. In 2003, a renovation more than doubled the exhibition area. And, because NASCAR had changed dramatically over the years, the museum’s name was changed to the Darlington Raceway Stock Car Museum.

Inside, the history of stock car racing is mixed with exhibits on the colorful personalities who wheeled their way around the famous eggshaped track over the last 62 years.

Don’t miss Richard Petty’s trademark straw hat, Dale Earnhardt’s iconic sunglasses, Fireball Roberts’ silver helmet and period photographs of legendary drivers Cannonball Baker and Jim Paschal.

And, of course, there are the cars.

One of the first sights that greet visitors when they enter the museum is the black 1950 Plymouth that Johnny

Mantz drove to victory—at a thenblistering 75 mph—during the first Southern 500 at the Darlington track.

The win netted him the princely sum of $10,510 and a priceless spot in NASCAR history.

Other stock car gems include the famous No. 43 Plymouth that Richard Petty drove to the checkered flag 10 times in 1967; the 1985 Ford Thunderbird Bill Elliott drove to win that year’s Southern 500 and collect a $1 million bonus; and a 1956 Ford convertible that won 22 races in a single year—a NASCAR record un­broken to this day.

“The cars are truly the stars of our museum,” said Terry M. “Mac” Josey, the speedway’s vice president and general manager. “There are very few places in the world where you can see the evolution in racing like you can in our museum. When you walk in here, you just know it is a very special place.”

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scliving.coop | January 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

29

SCRecipe

Edited by Carrie Hirsch

New Year’s kitchen kickoff OVEN PORK STEW WITH SWEET POTATOES & SHALLOTS serves 4

Jean Gill / iStock

serves 8–10 as appetizer

1 cup Cheddar cheese, grated ¼ cup butter, softened ¼ teaspoon paprika 1 drop of Tabasco ¾ cup all-purpose flour 36–40 tiny pimento-stuffed olives

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a small bowl, mix together cheese, butter, paprika and Tabasco. Blend in flour. Shape dough into 1½-inch circles. Place olives in center and fold dough around olives to form balls. Refrigerate 10 minutes. Bake on lipped baking sheet for 20 minutes. Serve warm. lucy orton, columbia

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Heat the olive oil in a large ovenproof Dutch oven. Add the pork in two batches until it is well browned on all sides, about 6 minutes. Remove the pork from the pan and set aside. Add in the onion, sweet potatoes, shallots and garlic and

Jonathan sloane / iStock

LUCY’S OLIVE BALLS

1 tablespoon olive oil 1 pound boneless pork loin, cut into 1½-inch pieces 1 medium onion, chopped 2 medium sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 8 wedges 8 large shallots, peeled and left whole 4 garlic cloves, minced 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1 ½ cups low-fat, reducedsodium chicken broth ½ cup dry white wine 1 tablespoon fresh thyme Kosher salt or sea salt Fresh ground pepper to taste ½ pound small cremini or white button mushrooms, cleaned, stems removed and cut in half ½ cup fresh parsley, chopped

MISS EL’S GRITS PIE

saute for 2–3 minutes. Add back the pork with any accumulated juices. Sprinkle the pork and sweet potato mixture with flour. Cook and stir until the flour is absorbed into the pork and vegetables. Add in the chicken broth, wine, thyme, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil.

Lower the heat and add in the mushrooms. Transfer the pan to the oven and bake, uncovered, for 40–45 minutes or until the vegetables are tender. Sprinkle with parsley.

serves 8

¾ cup water J teaspoon salt ¼ cup quick-cooking grits (not instant) 1 stick (8 tablespoons) butter 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour ¾ cup granulated sugar ¼ cup buttermilk 3 large eggs, beaten 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 pie shell (thawed, if frozen) Real whipped cream, sweetened

katherine putnam, effingham

Send us recipes! We welcome recipes for

all seasons: appetizers, salads, main courses, side dishes, desserts and beverages. Selected original recipes win a $10 BI-LO gift card.

Send recipes to South Carolina Living, 808 Knox Abbott Drive, Cayce, SC 29033, by email to recipe@scliving.coop or by fax to (803) 739‑3041.

30

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

Ron Bailey / iStock

About submitting recipes Entries must include your name, mailing address and phone number. When writing recipes, please specify ingredient measurements. Instead of “one can” or “two packages,” specify “one 12-ounce can” or “two 8-ounce packages.” Note the number of servings or yield. Recipes are not tested.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Bring water and salt to boil in medium saucepan. Add grits and cook 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Add butter and cook one more minute.

Remove from burner and set aside.

In a medium bowl, mix together flour, sugar, buttermilk, eggs and vanilla extract. Slowly stir mixture into the cooled grits. Pour mixture into the pie shell then bake for about 40 minutes or until set. Serve warm or cold with whipped cream and/or berries, if desired. eleanor lightsey o’key, hilton head island

scliving.coop | January 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

31

SCChef’sChoice

BY Carrie Hirsch

An Orchid in full bloom Courtesy of Food Network

Orchid Paulmeier’s infectious smile

Butch Hirsch

and enthusiasm come through immediately when she welcomes you to the dining room of One Hot Mama’s on Hilton Head Island, and it’s easy to see why the producers of Food Network’s Next Star cast the bubbly barbecue chef as a contestant in season seven of the popular reality show.

For six and half weeks, Orchid (who prefers to go by her first name) competed against cooks from around the country, demonstrating the creative culinary skills she’s honed in the kitchen of her 160-seat eatery.

A strong contender from the start, she wowed the judges with both her cooking and vibrant personality, and she consistently won the hearts and votes of viewers. “Orchid, did you know you were public enemy number one?” judge Bobby Flay asked her in one episode.

Each Sunday night during the series, local fans packed One Hot Mama’s to cheer Orchid to victory and whenever she appeared on screen, customers hooted their approval between bites of her signature ribs, wings and the award-winning Triple B

Orchid Paulmeier was back on Hilton Head Island when Food Network’s Next Star aired. Sworn to secrecy about the show’s outcome, she could only smile as fans cheered her on.

and slow-cooked barbeOne Hot Mama’s cue are favorites, and for chips—kettle chips covered 7 Greenwood Drive dessert, who can pass Hilton Head up chocolate chip pecan in blue cheese, beer sauce (843) 682-MAMA (6262) pie? It’s all served in a and beef brisket. casual, friendly setting, by Although she was edged onehotmamas.com a doting staff. “We want out in the show’s final Open for lunch and dinner daily from 11:30 a.m. people to feel like it’s rounds, Orchid’s fan base Sunday brunch (buffet) is their house,” Orchid said continues to grow, as she served from 10:30 a.m. to of the restaurant’s atmoadds award-winning items 2 p.m. Happy hour daily 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. Hours may sphere. “If the staff didn’t to a menu described as vary depending on season. feel that way, it wouldn’t “comfort food with a kick.” work.”

That kick comes from her Since appearing on the show, Filipino grandmother, who first taught Orchid has launched a line of hot her to cook. “Filipino cooking has a sauces with flavors including “Perfect Latin influence in terms of the ingre10” and “Hot Asian Sauce,” and had dients,” she said. the opportunity to reconnect with old Inside the brick-walled, neon-lit friends and neighbors, but is still hapdining room, couples, families, sports piest working in her kitchen to give fans and friends enjoy a reasoncustomers “good food with a little bit ably priced menu that’s heavy on of attitude.”

Southern classics. Collards, cornbread

CHOCOLATE CHIP PECAN PIE WITH APPLEWOOD BACON GRAHAM CRACKER CRUST Serves 8

Crust

2 cups graham crackers, crushed ½ cup butter, melted ½ teaspoon salt ½ cup bacon pieces, chopped ¼ cup bacon drippings 1 tablespoon granulated sugar

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. In a medium bowl, mix crust ingredients together. Press crust into 8-inch pie pan. Bake for 5 minutes.

32

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

Filling

3 eggs 1 cup granulated sugar 1 cup light Karo corn syrup 1 tablespoon vanilla extract ¼ cup butter, melted

1 cup medium pecan pieces 1 cup milk chocolate chunks (or chips) 1 pint vanilla bean ice cream

In a medium bowl, stir together eggs, sugar, syrup, vanilla and butter. Mix pecans and chocolate together, then place in pie crust. Pour filling over nuts and chocolate. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Serve with vanilla bean ice cream.

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35

Calendar of Events Please confirm information before attending events. For entry guidelines, access SCliving.coop.

Fridays • Main Street Marketplace, Columbia Museum of Art, Columbia. (803) 779-4005.

Saturdays • Behind-theScenes Adventure Tours, Riverbanks Zoo & Garden, Columbia. (803) 978-1113.

Saturdays and Sundays • Gallery Tour, Columbia Museum of Art, Columbia. (803) 799-2810.

LOWCOUNTRY

ROBERT HOOPER/NPS

JANUARY

The Cowpens Battle Anniversary Celebration takes place January 14-15.

UPSTATE JANUARY

13–15 • South Carolina International Auto Show, Carolina First Center, Greenville. (864) 233-2562.

14–15 • Cowpens Battle Anniversary Celebration, Cowpens National Battlefield, Gaffney. (864) 461-2828.

21 • Greenville News Downtown Run, Greenville News Building, Greenville.

(864) 298-4729.

21 • Hogpen Hill Climb, Unicoi State Park, Helen, Ga. (706) 754-5313, Ext. 223.

28 • “Titanic Medley” by the Spartanburg Philharmonic, Twichell Auditorium at Converse College, Spartanburg. (864) 948-9020.

28 • Winter Wino Fest, SauteeNacoochee Vineyards, SauteeNacoochee, Ga. (706) 878-0542.

FEBRUARY

4 • Retro Fest, Spartanburg Memorial Auditorium, Spartanburg. (864) 583-8000.

11 • Fasching, Helendorf River Inn & Conference Center, Helen, Ga. (706) 878-1908.

ONGOING

Daily • Art Gallery at the Fran Hanson Discovery Center, South Carolina Botanical Garden, Clemson. (864) 656-3405.

36

Daily • Trail Riding, Croft State Natural Area, Spartanburg. (864) 585-1283.

Through Feb. 9 • David & Denise Woodward-Detrick: Sculpture & Ceramics, Pickens County Museum of Art & History, Pickens. (864) 898-5963.

Through Feb. 9 • Michael & Lynda Slattery: Drawings & Collage, Pickens County Museum of Art & History, Pickens. (864) 898-5963.

Through Feb. 9 • Flowers Squared: Three Generations of Art, Pickens County Museum of Art & History, Pickens. (864) 898-5963.

MIDLANDS JANUARY

14 • Hog Butchering Day, Historic Brattonsville, McConnells. (803) 684-2327.

21 • Wild Game CookOff, Langley Pond Park, Langley. (803) 663-6142.

21 • Steep Canyon Rangers concert, McCelvey Center, York. (877) 369-2290.

FEBRUARY

3–5 • Antiques in the Heart of Aiken Show and Sale, Aiken Center for the Arts, Aiken. (803) 641-9094.

4 • Ethnic History Parade and Gospel Soiree, Waverly and Five Points communities, Columbia. (803) 361-5470.

4 • Rivers Bridge Battlefield Guided Tour, Rivers Bridge State Historic Site, Ehrhardt. (803) 267-3675.

10–12 • Columbia Women’s Show, Columbia Metropolitan Convention Center, Columbia. (864) 250-9713.

Daily, except Mondays and major holidays • Historic Camden Revolutionary War Site, Camden. (803) 432-9841.

Sundays • Docent-led Gallery Tour, Columbia Museum of Art, Columbia. (803) 779-4005.

Mondays through May • Homeschool Mondays, Riverbanks Zoo & Garden, Columbia. (803) 779-8717.

2–31 • North Charleston City Gallery Exhibit: Works by Lori Starnes Isom, Charleston Area Convention Center, North Charleston. (843) 740-5854.

12–15 • Society of Stranders Mid-Winter Break, multiple venues, North Myrtle Beach. (888) 767-3113.

13–15 • Charleston Marathon, festivities at various locations, Charleston. (843) 300-7500.

14 • Champions of Magic, Gilmore Auditorium, Myrtle Beach. (843) 626-8191.

14 • Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Celebration Concert, Royal Missionary Baptist Church, North Charleston. (843) 740-5854.

14–15 • Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre, Arts Center of Coastal Carolina, Hilton Head. (843) 842-2787.

ONGOING

Daily, by appointment • Overnights and Night Howls, Riverbanks Zoo & Garden, Columbia. (803) 779-8717, Ext. 1113.

Daily • Trail Riding, Kings Mountain State Park, Blacksburg. (803) 222-3209.

Daily • Trail Riding, Lee State Park, Bishopville. (803) 428-5307.

Daily • Trail Riding, Poinsett State Park, Wedgefield. (803) 494-8177.

Daily • SOS Planet Showing, Riverbanks Zoo & Garden’s 3-D Adventure Theater, Columbia. (803) 779-8717.

Daily, except Sundays • Living History Days, Historic Brattonsville, McConnells.

(803) 684-2327.

Daily, except Mondays • Columbia Museum of Art, Columbia. (803) 799-2810.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

The CSO Gospel Choir will perform the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Celebration Concert on January 14 in North Charleston.

Second Tuesdays • Family Night $1 Admission, Edventure Children’s Museum, Columbia. (803) 779-3100.

Fourth Thursdays • Tales for Tots, Edventure Children’s Museum, Columbia. (803) 779-3100.

21–22 • Total Health Fair, Omar Center, Mt. Pleasant.

(843) 402-0310.

22 • Lowcountry Soup Challenge, Westin Resort, Hilton Head Island. (843) 681-6612 ext. 235.

27 • A Night in the Valley, The College Center, Trident Technical College, Charleston. (843) 574-6693.

27–29 • Charleston Boat Show, Charleston Area Convention Center, North Charleston. (864) 250-9713.

28 • Hilton Head Snow Day, Shelter Cove Park, Hilton Head Island. (843) 681-7273.

29 • Lowcountry Oyster Festival, Boone Hall Plantation, Mt. Pleasant. (843) 577-4030.

FEBRUARY

3–5 • Lowcountry Coin Club Show, The Exchange Park, Summerville. (843) 200-7416.

10–21 • Lowcountry Blues Bash, various venues, Charleston. (843) 762-9125.

11 • A Taste of Gullah, Arts Center of Coastal Carolina, Hilton Head. (843) 686-3945.

11 • Hilton Head Island Half Marathon and 10k/5k, Jarvis Creek Park, Hilton Head Island. (843) 757-8520.

11-12 • Myrtle Beach Stamp & Postcard Show, Clarion Hotel & Conference Center, Myrtle Beach. (843) 347-0087.

15–19 • Beaufort International Film Festival, multiple locations, Beaufort. (843) 522-3196.

ONGOING

Daily • Trail Riding, Cheraw State Park, Cheraw. (843) 537-9656.

Daily • Nature Center, Hunting Island State Park, Hunting Island. (843) 838-7437.

Daily, except Christmas • Brookgreen Gardens, Murrells Inlet. (843) 235-6000.

Daily, except major holidays • Parris Island Museum, Beaufort.

(843) 228-2166.

Daily except Mondays • Feeding Frenzy, Huntington Beach State Park, Murrells Inlet. (843) 237-4440.

Saturdays–Tuesdays • Mansion Tours, Hampton Plantation State Historic Site, McClellanville. (843) 546-9361.

Second Saturdays • Local League of Artisans Arts & Crafts Bazaar, Yesterday’s, Hartsville. (843) 498-6576.

SCHumorMe

By Jan A. Igoe

Kourtney and Khloe take Kabul OK, it’s time for a pop-

Where do the words headless, horse, gallop and goat mean fun for the whole family?

Sorry, time’s up.

If you guessed Afghanistan, you’re right. The Afghans are crazy for ­buzkashi, a sport that makes our National Hockey League look like Pansies “R” Us. Even if our guys played naked and switched to exploding pucks, they’d still be wimps by buzkashi standards. Remember, we’re talking about a country where Local Warlord is a job title.

(And I’m not sure they like us.)

In lieu of a ball, this sport uses the carcass of a decapitated calf.

(In a pinch, a goat will do.) Teams of screaming men on horseback gallop around dragging the departed beast toward their goal, while opponents beat each other senseless with whips. That’s it. No refs, no rules, no cheerleaders—just a lot of unhappy livestock.

While some fair-minded sports fans might argue that any leather ball is basically a dead animal carcass, the nice round ones from Wilson with the tidy stitching and lack of entrails don’t leave fans wondering where the head went. Anyway, it seems more civilized.

This got me thinking back in December, as I searched for some New Year’s resolutions beyond the delusional pledge to rise at 4 a.m., do three hours of cardio, consume organic quiz!

38

beets with spinach juice and make Mother Teresa look like a slacker. So this year, I’ve decided to donate my spare time to the Pentagon to assist with matters of national security. Don’t tell them yet. I want it to be a surprise.

If you watch the news, you probably know that our military folks have a lot of trouble extracting information from suspected terrorists without offending them. No one can agree on how to do these things politely.

Martha Stewart doesn’t make a line of color-coordinated interrogation tools (yet), so we’re pretty much left offering a Tootsie Pop to the first Taliban dude who’ll cooperate.

Fortunately, I have years of experience torturing reluctant men without getting the ACLU involved. When America uncovers a credible threat and the safety of millions could hinge on immediate access to accurate

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2012 | scliving.coop

intelligence, I suggest a Brazilian wax job. People from the buzkashi-playing side of the planet may be exceptionally tough, but they’re also exceptionally hairy.

Surely, a simple procedure that delicate women regularly endure can’t be labeled torture. Do you know how they evict errant ear hair over there? The barber sets his alcoholsoaked shears on fire and singes those little suckers into oblivion. You see?

We’re dealing with folks who don’t mind having their heads flambéed, so it’s going to take something special to get their attention.

In the event of a total disaster—if all else fails and we’re faced with a DEFCON 1 scenario—we bring out the Kardashians. According to my sources, four new Kardashian Klan shows are plotting to assault the American public as we speak. Even more frightening, there’s still their dancing brother and two stealth mini sisters, Kendall and Kylie, who’ve been ripening in the wings, prepping for primetime. By any standard, that’s a credible threat.

So that’s the plan. If Al Qaeda starts acting up and we need intel now, we launch the Kardashians.

Game over.

That ought to get their goat.

JAN A. IGOE ,

writer and aspiring defense strategist, resides in Horry County with her canine posse and torture victim of 20-plus years. You can wax nostalgic anytime at HumorMe@SCLiving.coop.

Happy New Year, everyone!

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