South Carolina Living June 2011

Honey of

a hobby

S.C. beekeepers enjoy sweet rewards

SC Sto r i e s

Teaching from experience SC Tr av e ls

Childhood fun is a tall order Humor Me

Hurricane + hubby = madness

THE MAGAZINE FOR COOPERATIVE MEMBERS Vol. 65 • No. 6 (ISSN 0047-486X, USPS 316-240)

Tel: (803) 926-3 1 75 Fax: (803) 796-6064 Email: letters@scliving.coop

June 2011 • Volume 65, Number 6

FEATURE 12 One honey of a hobby

Across North America, honeybee populations are under attack from a growing list of threats that include manmade pesticides and natural predators. Meet the dedicated South Carolina beekeepers who keep them alive and buzzing.

EDITOR

Keith Phillips FIELD EDITOR

Walter Allread PUBLICATION COORDINATOR

Pam Martin

ART DIRECTOR

Sharri Harris Wolfgang DESIGNER

Susan Collins

4 CO-OP CONNECTION

PRODUCTION

walter allread

Read in more than 450,000 homes and businesses and published monthly except in December by The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc. 808 Knox Abbott Drive Cayce, SC 29033

Cooperative news

Andrew Chapman WEB EDITOR

6 ON THE AGENDA

Van O’Cain

Jump-start your summer fun with festivals celebrating locally grown peaches, watermelons and flowers. Plus: S.C. high school students invade Washington, D.C., and readers challenge “the burning question” of the Civil War.

COPY EDITOR

Susan Scott Soyars CONTRIBUTORS

Julie Belschner, Becky Billingsley, Mike Couick, Sarah Hettich, Carrie B. Hirsch, Jan A. Igoe, Charles Joyner, Sally Mahan, Van O’Cain, Shandi Stevenson Publisher

Tel: (800) 984-0887 Dan Covell Email: dan@scliving.coop Keegan Covell Email: keegan@scliving.coop

POWER USER DIALOGUE

South Carolina’s electric cooperatives prove once again that devastating weather is no match for our dedicated line crews.

National Country Market Tel: (800) NCM-1181 Paid advertisements are not endorsements by any electric cooperative or this publication.

If you encounter a difficulty with an advertisement, inform the Editor.

10

ADDRESS CHANGES: Please send

to your local co-op. Postmaster: Send Form 3579 to Address Change, c/o the address above.

20

TRAVELS

10 Lending a helping hand

National Representation

For Lynn Powell, teaching math and reading to struggling students at Greenville’s Duncan Chapel Elementary is more than fulfilling work—it’s a reminder of her own amazing educational journey.

Periodicals postage paid at Columbia, S.C., and additional mailing offices. © COPYRIGHT 201 1. The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc. No portion of South Carolina Living may be reproduced without permission of the Editor.

20 Big EdVentures

Get inside the mind (and the stomach) of a 40-foot child at Columbia’s EdVenture children’s museum, where learning is always a hands-on experience.

CHEF’S CHOICE

22 A taste of Gullah culture

24

Using old family recipes and hand-me-down cookware, Chef Dye Scott-Rhodan serves up more than just tasty, fresh food at her restaurant on Hilton Head Island—she also serves up a dose of authentic Gullah culture.

RECIPES

24 Summer fare

is brought to you by your member-owned, taxpaying, not-for-profit electric cooperative to inform you about your cooperative, wise energy use and the faces and places that identify the Palmetto State. Electric cooperatives are South Carolina’s — and America’s — largest utility network.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

6

No cream of celery soup Bachelor buttons Emma’s very special lemon apricot cake Tangy barbecue wings HUMOR ME

Laurens Electric Cooperative

30 Waiting for hurricane honey-do

Printed on recycled paper

Member of the NCM network of publications, reaching more than 7 million homes and businesses

Edven tu re

ADVERTISING MANAGERS

STORIES

19 Teaching from experience

Stephanie Frey

Lou Green

SC LIFE

A few storm-damaged trees and the intoxicating scent of chainsaw oil can have a strange effect on a husband.

26 MARKETPLACE

Honey of

a Hobby

S.C. beekeepers enjoy sweet rewards

SC Sto r i e S

Teaching from experience SC tr av e l S

Childhood fun is a tall order Humor me

Hurricane + hubby = madness

28 SC EVENTS

On the Cover: Got honey? If so, thank a beekeeper. Despite their fearsome reputation, honeybees are fragile insects that depend on dedicated apiarists for their survival. Photo by Milton Morris

On the Agenda For a listing p m co lete s, see of Event 8 page 2

Highlights

TOP PICK FOR KIDS JULY 4 AND JULY 14–16

Peachy keen festivals

Summer peach festivals mean plenty of ­delicious activities for ­children and anyone who enjoys down-home fun. In Gilbert, on July 4, the Lexington County Peach Festival celebrates Independence Day in style with a parade, a Revolutionary War reenactment, children’s rides, a fireworks show and plenty of peach-flavored treats. “We’ll have peach tea, peach slush, and this year Bluebell Ice Cream is doing a peach bar,” says Robin McCartha, event coordinator. For details, visit ­lexingtoncountypeachfestival.com or call (803) 892-5207.

JUNE 4–26

S.C. Festival of Flowers

For a bloomin’ good time, head to Greenwood this month for the S.C. Festival of Flowers. Exotic topiary displays will line the downtown streets, and Park Seed will offer plant-lovers tours of their beautiful 9-acre trial garden. The roster of events also includes a kids’ festival, wine walk, triathlon, bluegrass festival and bass tournament. “There is literally something for everyone,” promises festival director Ellesor Holder.

For the full schedule of events, visit scfestivalofflowers.org or call (864) 223-8411, ext. 232.

Next up is Gaffney’s South Carolina Peach Festival, with multiple events scheduled for July 14–16. Kids will love the parade and family festival on Saturday, and the whole family can help pick the winners of the barbecue cook-off. For a full rundown of events, which also include a peach dessert contest, road race and live music, visit scpeachfestival.org or call (864) 425-9836.

JUNE 18–26

JULY 4

Independence Day Fireworks at Patriots Point

There are many first-rate July 4 fireworks displays in South Carolina, but only one of them has the aircraft carrier USS Yorktown launching the ordnance.

The pyrotechnic extravaganza at Patriots Point Naval & Maritime Museum in Charleston starts at 9:15 p.m. and caps a day-long celebration that includes live music and children’s activities.

For details, visit patriotspoint.org or call (866) 831-1720.

6

Hampton County Watermelon Festival

It’s not really summer in South Carolina until the first watermelons are harvested, and that fine tradition is celebrated with a week’s worth of events at the Hampton County Watermelon Festival. It kicks off on Saturday, June 18, with Family Fun Day at Lake Warren State Park and the action climaxes Saturday, June 25, with a parade, carnival, watermelon-eating contest and free watermelon slices for all. Other highlights throughout the week include craft displays, a fishing contest, quilt display, bluegrass concert and a pet show.

For the complete lineup of events, visit melonfest.org or call (803) 943-8324.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | June 2011 | scliving.coop

JUNE 25

Conway Riverfest

Inspired by the Waccamaw River flowing along the edge of their charming downtown, the residents of Conway got together more than 25 years ago and created Riverfest, a one-day celebration of summer that is as laid-back as the waterway itself.

This year’s festival includes a boat parade, a homemade raft race, live music on two stages and the always-­popular Jell-O Jump (yes, people pay to jump in a vat of gelatin). “It’s a great day to enjoy music and people-watch,” says Bridgette Johnson of the Conway Chamber of Commerce.

For a full schedule of events, visit conwayscchamber.com or call (843) 248-2273.

Email COMMENTS, QUESTIONS AND GOOD NEIGHBORS TO LETTERS@SCLIVING.COOP

Web Exclusive

S.C. students travel to D.C.

The sweet taste of summer

Hundreds of rising high school seniors from across the U.S. will descend upon our nation’s capital this month for the electric cooperatives’ annual Washington Youth Tour. South Carolina’s co-ops will send 47 students this year for a fun-filled week of tours, dances, Potomac River cruises and meetings with law­ makers. The tour runs June 11–16.

Follow the S.C. group by logging onto twitter.com/scyouthtour and check out daily photos at youthtour.coop.

No summer picnic is complete without a juicy, ripe watermelon.

Visit SCLiving.coop this month to learn how to grow your own tasty crop, with advice from S. Corry Tanner of Clemson Extension.

“Watermelons can be cultivated statewide,” he says, and if you put transplants in the ground today, there’s still time to enjoy a late season harvest.

A hot topic I found the War Between

the States travel guide (“On the trail of history,” April 2011) to be both interesting and troubling. In the para­ graph under the heading “The burning question,” it is alleged that the respon­ sibility for the burning of Columbia “has never been determined for sure.” This is without merit.

That Sherman’s army was responsible for that heinous war crime has been proven beyond all pos­ sible doubt. One of South Carolina’s finest authors, journalist William Gilmore Simms, wrote a series of contemporaneous news­ paper stories document­ ing the preplanned looting and burning of Columbia together with attendant rape and other crimes against humanity by Sherman’s minions. Those reports were later compiled and are now available in book form under the title A City Laid Waste, with an intro­ duction by South Carolina

­historian David Aiken.

In the spirit of journal­ istic integrity, I would hope that the next edition of South Carolina Living includes a retraction of the offending notion that the responsibility for the burning of Columbia has not been properly proven.

—walter d. carr, charleston

I enjoy your magazine, but like most history buffs I got a real belly laugh at your comments that we are not sure who burned Columbia.

I think you must have a Yankee on your manage­ ment staff somewhere.

The organized burning of Columbia and scores of atrocities including

SCL To-Do List theft, rape and murder by Sherman’s army are well documented. The main­ stream media’s politically correct versions of the War Between the States have collapsed over the years and we would hope you would tell the truth if you cover the topic again.

—joel foster, roebuck

“ The Burning of Columbia, South Carolina” from Harper’s Weekly, April 8, 1865

Tell us about your hobbies In this month’s cover feature, “One honey of a hobby,” (see page 12) we introduce you to beekeeper Jack Collins, a member of Blue Ridge Electric Cooperative. His story raises a question that only you can answer: What other interesting hobbies occupy the time of South Carolina co-op members? We know you like to play as hard as you work, so tell us all about your most interesting pastime. We’ll pick our favorites and run them in a future issue. Send your letters, photos and web links to SCL Hobbies, South Carolina Living, 808 Knox Abbott Drive, Cayce, SC 29033, or email them to letters@scliving.coop. Deadline for entries is July 31. Sorry, photos cannot be returned.

Letters to the editor

Library of Congress

LETTERS

—van o’cain

We love hearing from our readers. Tell us what you think about this issue, send us story suggestions or just let us know what’s on your mind by writing to Letters, South Carolina Living, 808 Knox Abbott Drive, Cayce, SC 29033. You can also email us at letters@scliving.coop or send a note by fax to (803) 796-6064. All letters received are subject to editing before publication.

scliving.coop | June 2011 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

7

On the Agenda GONE FISHIN’

S.C.RAMBLE!

The Vector Fish & Game Forecast provides feeding and migration times. Major periods can bracket the peak by an hour. Minor peaks, ½ hour before and after.

By Charles Joyner, See Answer ON Page 27

Match Boxes 6

Energy Efficiency

Tip of the Month

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Minor

PM Major

17 1:52 6:37 18 2:37 7:22 19 3:22 8:07 20 4:22 8:52 21 9:52 5:22 22 11:37 6:37 23 — 7:37 24 12:52 8:37 25 1:22 9:22 26 2:07 10:07 27 2:52 10:37 28 3:37 11:22 29 4:22 11:52 30 — 5:07

9:37 10:07 10:37 11:07 11:37 4:52 1:52 6:52 8:37 9:52 10:52 11:37 12:22 8:07

2:07 2:37 3:22 3:52 4:22 12:07 5:37 4:22 5:22 5:52 6:37 7:07 7:37 12:37

June

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 EMUCDVNAL Each digit in the code clue above stands for the letter below it.

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8:37 9:07 9:37 10:07 10:37 4:22 12:37 2:52 8:07 9:37 10:52 11:37 7:37 7:52 8:22 8:52

1:07 1:52 2:22 3:07 3:37 11:07 11:52 12:37 4:52 5:37 6:22 6:52 12:07 12:37 1:07 1:52

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9

Dialogue

Lending a helping hand “It looks like a bomb went off.”

erati ve Blue Ridge Elect ric Coop

S. Shepard

Meteorologists say 53 destructive twisters touched down in northern Alabama on April 27, killing more than 230 people and causing $4 billion in damage. Crews from South Carolina electric cooperatives, like this one from Blue Ridge, were quick to lend assistance.

York Electric cooperative

May 11 brought a fierce storm to South Carolina, causing outages to more than 50,000 homes across the state. A crew from York Electric Cooperative works to restore power to some of its approximately 3,000 members who lost service.

10

That was the reaction most of us had to the jaw-dropping images of the devastation caused by the torna­ does that touched down in northern Alabama on Wednesday, April 27.

It took a while to fully comprehend the scale of the destruction: Entire neighborhoods and even small towns were reduced to splinters by the force of twisters that were a mile wide in places and packing 200 mph winds. The news only got worse in the days and weeks following the storms. Eventually we would learn that more than 230 people died, and the property damage was somewhere in the $4 billion range.

The next morning, no one knew the full extent of the damage, but it didn’t matter.

What we did know was that our fellow co-ops in Alabama needed assistance to restore power, and barely 24 hours after the storms struck, 52 line workers from six S.C. electric coop­ eratives—Aiken, Laurens, Blue Ridge, Fairfield, Mid‑Carolina and Newberry— were already rolling west to help.

At the time, outages were spread across 13 cooperatives in the north­ ern part of Alabama, leaving more than 230,000 members without power.

Scott Bryant, the vice president of loss control and training here at The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, coor­ dinated the response of the S.C. co-ops with his counterpart in Alabama, and the rapid, effective action was one of the first steps to returning life to normal for the victims of this disaster.

Fast forward to another stormy Wednesday—May 11, right here in South Carolina. Although the damage was not as extensive, the violent

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | June 2011 | scliving.coop

weather that ripped through the Palmetto State was almost as intense as the Alabama tornadoes. Large trees were uprooted and thrown into trans­ mission lines and substations, causing widespread power outages that affected more than 50,000 people across the Palmetto State. York Electric Cooperative reported that, at the peak of the storm, one-third of its members were without power. Broad River Electric Cooperative in Gaffney had 1,350 members who experienced storm-related outages and Fairfield Electric Cooperative in Winnsboro reported 900 outages.

Once again, our network of co-ops responded quickly to provide mutual assistance. A total of 32 line workers from Aiken, Laurens, Edisto, Little River and Newberry cooperatives helped reconnect members in the affected areas as fast as humanly possible. By the time of York’s annual meeting three days later, power was fully restored in the co-op’s service area—an impressive feat that demonstrates the co-op commitment to excellent service.

Our electric cooperatives exist to serve members with reliable, affordable power. They have contingency plans for nearly every disaster, and they invest in the tools, training and dedicated per­ sonnel to ensure that they can respond in the worst of conditions. It’s also part of the co-op DNA to help others in need and why we have mutual aid protocols in place. We help our fellow co-ops because we know that someday we might need their help, but mostly because it’s simply the right thing to do.

Mike Couick President and CEO, The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina

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11

South Carolina’s honeybee populations are under attack.

Meet the dedicated beekeepers who are the first line of defense

BY JULIE BELSCHNER • Photos by Milton Morris

To protect his hives , beekeeper Ray Farmer isn’t

afraid to kill.

The Abbeville County resident and 2010 S.C. Beekeeper of the Year maintains a constant vigil to protect his honeybees from dangers like the notori­ ous hive beetle. “The beetles winter in clusters of bees,” he explains. “The bees are so nice they actually feed them.” The beetles return the favor by tunneling through combs, killing infant bees and contaminating honey with their waste. Pesticides aren’t an option, so to save an infected hive, Farmer will literally take matters into his own, bare hands and delicately comb through an entire swarm of bees to find and kill the tiny invad­ ers one by one. “You go in there and mash them with your fingers,” he says.

For amateur apiarists like Farmer, dirty jobs like squishing beetles (and suffering the occasional sting for their troubles) are all in a day’s work. And honeybees, it turns out, need all the help they can get. In contrast to their fearsome reputation, bees in South Carolina and the U.S. have become down­ Jack Collins, a member right domesticated. Without the assistance of Blue Ridge Electric Cooperative, was introduced of beekeepers, most couldn’t survive. to apiculture by his father The honey that beekeepers collect in more than 50 years ago. return for their efforts is a nice side benefit His lifelong hobby is now something of a second career. (see “Harvest time,” page 15), but for truly dedicated apiarists, the sweetest reward

12

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | June 2011 | scliving.coop

scliving.coop | June 2011 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

13

is helping generations of the insects stand their ground against a growing number of threats, says Jack Collins, a 50-year veteran beekeeper.

“Honeybees are very delicate insects,” Collins says. “To me, it’s not about honey; it’s about how I can keep them alive for another year.”

The good old days

Life was once much easier for bees. The problems began decades ago with the arrival of Varroa destructor, a para­ sitic mite. The mites reproduce inside hives, where they enter the cells that store the young bee larvae and weaken them by sucking out hemolymph (aka bee “blood”) and spreading a virus that can deform bee wings and other appendages. Those pesky hive beetles were discovered in South Carolina in 1996. Then in 2006 there was the mysterious colony collapse disorder

The annual contribution of bees to food production in the U.S. (CCD)—most likely caused by a ­combination of diseases and stress from agricultural ­pesticides—that decimated bee populations across North America. Rampant use of pesti­ cides by beekeepers to control mites may have played a role in the CCD epidemic as well: The parasitic mites adapted to the chemicals and grew stronger, while the bees were slow to evolve natural defenses, says Mike Hood, professor of entomology at Clemson University.

Nationally, bee populations have dropped

Ways to help bees Even if flying, stinging insects give you (pardon the pun) hives, you can still help protect honeybees, and by extension, the food crops they help pollinate. Here are some tips from the S.C. State Beekeepers Association.

Promote plants that benefit insect pollinators, including: • Sunflowers • Clover • Vetch • Blackberries • Buckwheat • Flowering trees, like apple, pear, maple, blooming cherry, yellow poplar and willow Use only pesticides that don’t harm pollinators (read labels) Don’t use any pesticides around bees Allow portions of yards or fields to grow undisturbed for ­ground‑nesting bees Plant hedgerows of mixed flowering plants 14

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | June 2011 | scliving.coop

from 5.5 million colonies in the 1940s to 2.4 million colonies today. In South Carolina, populations have remained fairly stable for the past 10 to 15 years at around 25,000 to 30,000 managed colonies, Hood says. He credits that success largely to the state’s small-scale beekeepers, many of whom have enrolled in the South Carolina Master Beekeeper Program (see “Getting started,” page 16).

To help bee populations recover, researchers are attempting to breed mite-resistant strains of honeybees.

“If we can just get these genes into our bees, bees and mites could live in harmony, the way it’s supposed to be,” Hood says. But, he admits, “I don’t know if we can totally fix the problems to return to the easy beekeeping times of 30 years ago.”

Jack Collins skips protective gear, and instead relies on experience and an antique smoker used by his father to manage more than 150 hives throughout Oconee County.

. is estimated to be $14.6 billion Family traditions

Collins, a member of Blue Ridge Electric Cooperative, remembers those times well. He was introduced to beekeeping by his father when he was just a toddler. “He had six or eight hives. When I was big enough, my mother made me a bee veil, and I put on a long-sleeve shirt. My daddy gave me some gloves, and we went out to the bee gum,” he says.

Even back then, there were few truly wild bees.

“They were domesticated, but there were some that were hostile,” he says. “We called them hot bees. If I saw a swarm come out, I’d catch ’em and put ’em in a box. My daddy would come home on weekends and say, ‘Son, you catch any bees? ’ and I’d say, ‘Yeah,’ and he’d say, ‘Well, that’s good. Now you’ve got to take care of them.’ ” Collins has been doing that ever since. Retired from a career as a tool and die maker, he now spends his days managing more than 150 hives spread across Oconee County. He no longer wears the veil or gloves, but instead relies on his knowledge of the insects and an antique smoker handed down from his father. The smoke keeps the bees calm and clustered in their hives without doing harm to the insects.

He lifts the lid off a white hive box to reveal a buzzing mass of insects packed into 10 wooden frames of wax and honeycomb. The majority of the worker bees are female, so he offers his traditional greeting—“Hello girls. How you all doing?”—before assessing the health of the colony. “I check

Harvest time When beekeepers like Jack Collins check their hives this month and next, they will have another item on their to-do lists: begin harvesting honey.

Bees collect plant nectar in their honey stomachs, then transport the nectar back to the hive where it is processed into honey. During its short life, each bee in a hive makes about 1/qw of a teaspoon of the sweet liquid, which is stored in cells of the hive’s honeycomb.

This time of year, when plant nectar production is at its peak, the bees produce more honey than is needed to support the hive. From mid to late summer, beekeepers collect the excess honey, then bottle and sell it for anywhere from $5 to $10 a container. Collins won’t reveal how much honey he produces each year, but all that’s required for him to sell out by the end of the collecting season is a modest sign on his mailbox: “Honey for Sale.”

The only jars he won’t sell in a typical season are the ones he takes home for his own family’s enjoyment.

“Honey is a life-sweetening substance,” he says. “I eat it on almost everything.”

them for mites and look for anything that will improve them,” Collins says.

Much of his time is spent helping weak hives grow stronger by feeding them sugar water and tricking the queen into laying more eggs. He has spare colonies used to “seed” weaker ones, and he sometimes swaps boxes of bees with other beekeepers in hopes of breeding stronger and bigger bees. “I’ve got some that look like B-52s taking off,” he chuckles.

Farmer also clocks a lot of miles—9,600 miles last year alone—working with bees. In addition to managing his own hives, he trains other beekeepers, and removes unwanted hives free of charge. “I love it; I love my bees; I love helping others,” he says.

Like Collins and Hood, Farmer also worries about the future of bees and what could happen to the state’s agri­ cultural economy if bee populations crash. Honeybees are important as primary pollinators of many food crops including apples, blackberries, blueberries, cantaloupes, cucumbers, squash and watermelons, and the annual scliving.coop | June 2011 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

15

S.C. State Beekeepers Association summer meeting When:

Where:

Clemson University

Bob Bellenger / Clemson University

Learn more about beekeeping from recognized experts when the S.C. State Beekeepers Association holds its annual summer meeting. The event will include a short intermediate-level beekeeping course and a workshop on how to raise queen bees. During the three-day meeting there will be several out-of-state beekeeping experts, from other universities and from the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Bee Lab. For more information, visit clemson.edu/extension/ beekeepers.

A class at Clemson University introduces future apiarists to beekeeping basics.

contribution of bees to food production in the United States is estimated to be $14.6 billion. “It’s got to get better,” Farmer says. “If things don’t improve, we’re going to have to change our diet tremendously.”

Future generations

The average lifespan of a honeybee is just 42 days, so a big part of a beekeeper’s job is making sure each generation survives to spawn the next. Just as important is teaching the next generation of beekeepers the art of caring for the insects.

Hood says there are only about 10 commercial honey producers in the state, meaning much of the responsibil­ ity for safeguarding bee populations falls to small-scale beekeepers. It helps that South Carolina has a lot of bee­ keepers—more than 2,000 at last count—and that there are 20 local beekeeper associations and a statewide associa­ tion to help attract newcomers. “Over the past three years, we’ve had tremendous interest in beekeeping with over 250 new beekeepers enrolling in beginner-level courses annu­ ally,” he says. “Fortunately, it’s all age groups. In the past 20 years, it was often retired folks, but now we’re seeing middle-aged people and a few younger children.”

Collins does his part teaching future beekeepers through the Oconee County Beekeeping Club. He also advises Oconee County high school biology teacher Angela Cobb, who last year received a $31,000 grant to teach beekeeping at West-Oak High School in Westminster. But sometimes Collins worries that enough young people aren’t taking up the activity.

“Old beekeepers are getting out,” Collins says. “I’m seeing young people who are really enthusiastic, but I don’t 16

July 14–16

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | June 2011 | scliving.coop

Getting started The best way to get started in apiculture is to enroll in the Master Beekeeper program offered by the South Carolina State Beekeepers Association through Clemson University’s entomology program and local beekeeping clubs. There are four levels of certification: Requires completion of an 18-hour classroom course with a field day, basic instruction, written and practical tests.

Certified Beekeeper:

With two years of experience as a certified beekeeper, apiarists can pursue this certification, which requires a 15- to 18-hour classroom course, a written test and practical tests. Candidates also earn credits through public service projects like giving a demonstration to school kids.

Journeyman Beekeeper:

For truly serious beekeepers, this course requires passing a written exam, becoming an expert in several beekeeping subspecialties and requires 10 hours of public service.

Master Beekeeper:

On par with obtaining a master’s degree, Master Craftsman certification requires candidates to conduct an independent research project, publish the results and pass an oral exam.

Master Craftsman:

For more information, visit scstatebeekeepers.org.

think the old beekeepers are being replaced as fast as they go. I’ve seen a lot of them sell their bees and equipment.

I’ve been to the sales.”

For his part, Collins says, he’ll keep careful watch over his hives as long as he is able.

“I’m thankful the good Lord gave me the ability to work honeybees,” he says. “These bees were put here for me to take care of, and I’m going to do the best I can.”

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SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | June 2011 | scliving.coop

SC Life

SCStories

Teaching from experience Lynn Powell AGE:

49

Greenville PET PEEVE: “People making excuses for not trying to better their lives, because an excuse is just another way to tell a lie.”

LITTLE-KNOWN FACT: “I email Ellen DeGeneres every day because I want to be on her show.”

HOMETOWN:

For Lynn Powell, teaching math and reading to struggling students at Greenville’s Duncan Chapel Elementary is more than fulfilling work—it’s a reminder of her own amazing journey from high‑school dropout to author.

Struggling with undiagnosed dyslexia, Powell quit school after ninth grade and took a job in a textile plant. Functionally illiterate until the age of 26, her life began to change when she responded to a television ad for Greenville Literacy and began working with a tutor.

“Reading came to me like water,” Powell says. “I just couldn’t stop.”

After earning her GED at Greenville Tech, she enrolled at Clemson University and earned a bachelor’s degree in special education in 1997, followed by a master’s degree in learning disabilities from Furman University in 2003. She is currently planning to pursue a Ph.D. in psychology. Along the way, Powell has shared her story in the classroom, through volunteer work as a tutor with Greenville Literacy, in testimony before Congress, in national television and radio interviews and in her autobiography, Limitless­—which is available at miriamlynnpowell.com.

“The main message I would like people to take away from my story is that it’s never too late to start over,” Powell says. “It doesn’t matter where you come from; it only matters where you end up. You can do anything that anyone else can do, you just have to want it badly enough to do the work. And finally, what are you waiting for? The world doesn’t owe us anything. We are the one that has to change, so just do it!”— Shandi Stevenson

scliving.coop | June 2011 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

19

SCTravels

BY SARAH HETTICH

Big EdVenture Children and their parents can explore the inner workings of the body inside Eddie, purportedly the world’s largest child.

On a “famously hot” afternoon in

Edven ture

Columbia, cars and buses crowd the parking lot of the EdVenture children’s museum and the glass entranceway is filled with families and groups of giddy children.

Emerging from the family car, a child grabs her father’s hand, screams “Eddie!” at the top of her lungs, and makes a mad dash for the door.

Inside the museum’s central atrium, other families are already exploring the signature attrac­ tion—a 40-foot-high plastic boy holding a giant dragonfly. Billed as “the world’s largest child,” Eddie contains multiple interac­ tive displays on how the human body works, exhibits designed to entertain children ages 12 and under while also teaching them a little about anatomy.

The sound of Eddie’s heartbeat pulsates throughout the atrium as a young, bright-eyed tour guide leads visitors up a winding staircase, stop­ ping even with Eddie’s shoulders, to narrate the exhibits. Several minutes later, the father and daughter emerge laughing from the winding slide of Eddie’s stomach and eagerly climb the

GetThere Location: 211 Gervais St., in downtown Columbia

Tuesday–Saturday: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Sunday: noon to 5 p.m.

Open Mondays through Labor Day from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Hours:

Children and adults: $9.50; seniors (age 52+): $8.50; military (with ID): $8.50

Admission:

Details:

20

(803) 779-3100, edventure.org

stairs again to explore the playground that is Eddie’s brain. The roar of child­ hood excitement is so contagious that even the staff walk around as if they were first-time visitors.

From the playful architecture of the building to the intricately designed exhibits, EdVenture is no mere play­ ground. With 92,000 square feet of display space, it’s the largest children’s museum in the Southeast and attracts more than 200,000 families a year, says Susan Bonk, director of education and exhibits.

In addition to Eddie, the museum is stocked with more than 350 inter­ active displays divided into seven permanent exhibits. There’s more gross-but-fun activity in Body Works, where kids get to play doctor, dentist or nutritionist. One of the largest wings of the museum is World of Work, where guests can try their hand at different careers including farmer,

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | June 2011 | scliving.coop

firefighter, store manager and builder.

And in The Great Outdoors, future engi­ neers can learn about hydropower and aquatic ecosystems by c­ reating lakes and dams on an interac­ tive water table.

“When you take an educational experience and make it handson, that experience has a lasting impact,” Bonk says. “EdVenture provides an environ­ ment designed to allow ­children the opportunity to discover new ways of learning.”

One seasonal exhibit sure to cap­ tivate the kids this summer is Run! Jump! Fly! which teaches the impor­ tance of exercise through the actionadventure moves of popular characters from books and movies. And then there is the jaw-dropping beauty of Blooming Butterflies.

The outdoor butterfly exhibit, which runs through Oct. 8, is a 2,500-square-foot enclosed habitat where more than 20 different species fly free. For an additional $3 on top of museum admission, visitors can enter the enclosure and even watch the transformation of chrysalises into adult butterflies in the Bloom Room.

“It is always inspiring to watch a child’s face light up when they see a butterfly emerge from its chrysalis and spread its wings for the first time,” Bonk says.

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scliving.coop | June 2011 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

21

SCChef’sChoice

BY SALLY MAHAN

A taste of Gullah culture

SERVES 8

2 cups long grain rice 3 tablespoons vegetable oil ¼ cup each of finely chopped onions, bell pepper, celery, green onions 1 H cups of cooked chicken, chopped H teaspoon each of sea salt, black pepper Pinch of pepper flakes 4 cups chicken broth

In a large frying pan, sauté the rice in the oil. Add the onions, pepper, celery and sauté until tender. Add all the remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil. Cover and reduce to simmer. Cook until the liquid is absorbed.

22

Milton Morris

Dye’s COUNTRY CHICKEN AND RICE

Chef Dye Scott-Rhodan serves up more than just tasty, fresh food at her restaurant on Hilton Head Island—she also serves up a dose of traditional Gullah culture.

The menu at Dye’s Gullah Fixin’s features recipes that have been handed down through the generations in her family— fried chicken, pork ribs, macaroni and cheese, collard greens and Lowcountry boil, to name just a few. She even cooks with pots and pans handed down in her family, including her treasured iron Dye’s Gullah Fixin’s skillet. And of course, she uses only 430 William Hilton Parkway the freshest ingredients like raw Hilton Head Island, SC 29925 sugar cane, natural herbs, seasonal (843) 681-8106 vegetables and locally caught shrimp, dyesgullahfixins.com crabs, oysters and fish.

Hours: “Gullah cooking is all natural,” Lunch (menu only): says Scott-Rhodan. “Fish or chicken 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. shouldn’t be covered up with spices.

Monday, Thursday, Saturday Why put lemon on fish? And when Lunch (buffet only): you take a bite of chicken, it should 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. Tuesday, taste like chicken.”

Wednesday, Friday, Sunday A native of Ridgeland (she calls herself an “outland Gullah”), ScottDinner: 5:30 to 8 p.m., Monday–Saturday Rhodan was the second of 10 children.

Her father was a farmer and her mama was a homemaker. “We had a lot of love, but not much else,” she says. “We used what we grew for cooking.” She attended culinary schools in Atlanta and Baltimore and is trained as a chef, sous chef, pastry chef and bartender. But her favorite recipes all come from the kitchens of her mama, aunt and grandmother. “They were, and are, the best cooks I’ve ever known.

I’m here to represent my mama’s kitchen and all of the old-time grandma cooking.”

Scott-Rhodan’s 60-seat restaurant, which is served by Palmetto Electric Cooperative, is something of a shrine to Gullah culture. In addition to the food, Dye’s sells souvenirs and there are occasional performances of live Gospel and other Gullah music.

It’s a cozy spot nestled in the back of Pineland Station Mall on William Hilton Parkway and decorated with family pictures and Gullah-inspired paintings. The dress code is always casual, but reservations are mandatory. “I don’t cook anything in advance and that’s why reservations are required,” says Scott-Rhodan.“I cook everything from scratch, so it takes longer.”

This summer, Scott-Rhodan will release her first cookbook, filled with handwritten recipes handed down in her family, and she recently shot a pilot for a cooking show. Both projects revolve around one fundamental secret: “You just have to put your soul, your heart and your love into cooking to make good food,” she says.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | June 2011 | scliving.coop

scliving.coop | June 2011 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

23

Edited by Carrie Hirsch Mau reen Eng elma nn

SCRecipe

Lucía Cóp pol a

Summer fare Emma’s Very Special Lemon Apricot Cake

Bachelor Buttons

Serves 12

Makes 36–40

Serves 8

1 cup onions, chopped G cup vegetable oil G teaspoon salt G teaspoon black pepper G cup all purpose flour 6 cups of low-fat, low‑sodium chicken or vegetable broth 2 cups celery, peeled and chopped 2 cups carrots, peeled and chopped 2 sprigs fresh thyme 2 fresh bay leaves Salt and pepper to taste

Send us recipes! We welcome recipes for

all seasons: appetizers, salads, main courses, side dishes, desserts and beverages. Selected original recipes win a $10 BI-LO gift card.

About submitting recipes Entries must include your name, mailing address and phone number. When writing recipes, please specify ingredient measurements. Instead of “one can” or “two packages,” specify “one 12-ounce can” or “two 8-ounce packages.” Note the number of servings or yield. Recipes are not tested.

Send recipes to South Carolina Living, 808 Knox Abbott Drive, Cayce, SC 29033, by email to recipe@scliving.coop or by fax to (803) 739‑3041.

24

Optional garnishes: fat-free “Half & Half,” chopped walnuts, chopped red bell pepper or crumbled crispy bacon

In a large sauce pan, over medium heat, add vegetable oil and chopped onions. Season lightly with salt and pepper and sauté until translucent, but not browned.

Whisking, add flour and cook until a light blond roux results, approximately 2 minutes. Add broth and stir to combine completely. Add celery and carrots. Bring to a boil.

Reduce heat to low. Add thyme and bay leaves; cover and simmer until vegetables are completely soft, approximately 30 minutes.

When done, remove the soup from the heat and cool. Remove the thyme sprigs and bay leaves and discard. Using a slotted spoon, put all of the vegetables into a blender along with approximately G cup of the soup liquid. Blend until ­completely pureed and return to the saucepan. Adjust salt and pepper to taste if necessary, then bring back to temperature and serve with ­preferred garnish. mark s. cholowski, murrells inlet

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | June 2011 | scliving.coop

1 package lemon cake mix H cup granulated sugar I cup canola oil (or vegetable oil) 1 cup apricot nectar 4 eggs

Glaze

1 H cups confectioners’ sugar Juice of 1 H lemons Zest of H lemon

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Mix all ingredients except cherries in medium bowl with hands until well incorporated. Roll into 1-inch balls. Press cherry half in center.

Bake for 10 minutes on greased cookie sheet.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

In a medium bowl, blend cake mix, sugar, oil and apricot nectar. Mix in eggs, one egg at a time. Grease and flour a 10-inch tube pan, then bake for 1 hour. While the cake is cooling, make the glaze by mixing sugar, lemon juice and zest together in a small bowl. Pour over warm cake.

martha lynch, easley

emma hardenbrook, westminster

Tangy Barbecue Wings

Makes about 4 dozen

25 whole chicken wings (5 pounds) 2 H cups hot and spicy ketchup O cup white vinegar H cup, plus 2 tablespoons honey H cup molasses 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce H teaspoon onion powder H teaspoon chili powder Optional: H to 1 teaspoon Liquid Smoke Stephanie Frey

Ina Peters

No Cream of Celery Soup

1 cup butter, cut into pieces 1 cup dark brown sugar 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 cup chopped nuts (almonds, pecans, walnuts or favorite type) 1 cup flaked coconut 1 egg J teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon baking soda 18-20 maraschino cherries, cut in half

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Cut chicken wings into 3 sections, discarding wing tips. Place chicken in two greased 15-by-10-by-1-inch baking pans. Bake, uncovered, for 30 minutes; drain. Turn wings; bake 20–25 minutes or longer or until juices run clear.

Meanwhile, in a large ­saucepan, combine the ketchup, vinegar, honey, molasses, salt, Worcester­ shire sauce, onion and chili powders. Add Liquid Smoke if desired. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, for 20–30 minutes. Drain wings, and place a third of them in a 5-quart CrockPot. Top with about 1 cup sauce.

Repeat layers twice, cover and cook on low setting for 3–4 hours. Stir before serving. frances catoe, pageland

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27

Calendar of Events Please call ahead before attending events. For entry guidelines, visit SCliving.coop.

UPSTATE JUNE

15–19 • The Mighty Moo Festival, Cowpens.

(864) 463-3201.

17 • Chautauqua History Theater Festival, Falls Park, Greenville. (864) 244-1499.

18 • Hagood Mill Stage Show, Hagood Mill Historic Site & Folklife Center, Pickens. (864) 898-2936.

20–24 • Garden Explorations Camp, Hanson Nature Learning Center, Clemson. (864) 656-3405.

24–26 • Festival of Flowers, Greenwood. (864) 223-8411.

25 • Searching for Salamanders, Finding Frogs and Catching Crayfish, Hanson Nature Learning Center, Clemson. (864) 656-3405.

25–August 18 • A History of Tattoo in SC, Museum of Art & History, Pickens. (864) 898-5963.

28 • Culinary Herbal Adventures, Hanson Nature Learning Center, Clemson. (864) 656-3405.

JULY

The Fourth of July is a Monday this year.

Fireworks will light up the skies across South Carolina starting Saturday, July 2.

MIDLANDS JUNE

19 • Father’s Day—Dads Get in Free, SC State Museum, Columbia. (803) 898-4922.

19 • Zoo on Father’s Day, Riverbanks Zoo and Garden, Columbia. (803) 779-8717.

19–25 • Camp Wildwood, York Group Camp—Kings Mountain State Park, Blacksburg. (803) 720-9299.

25–July 1 • Up, Up and Away! EdVenture, Columbia. (803) 779-3100.

28 • Poetry Workshop, Main County Library, Sumter. (803) 773-7273.

28 • The Nature of Things, McKissick Museum, Columbia. (803) 777-7251.

1–2 • Festival of Stars, Townwide, Ninety Six. (864) 543-2047.

2 • Freedom Fest, Pendleton. (864) 934-3461.

3 • Clemsonfest, Seneca.

(864) 654-1200.

4 • Hillbilly Day, Downtown, Mountain Rest. (864) 638-1967.

4 • Red, White and Blue, Downtown, Greenville.

(864) 467-5741.

8–9 • Festival of Discovery, Greenwood. (864) 942-8448.

8–10 • Greenwood Blues Cruise, Greenwood.

(864) 942-8448.

9 • Pond Explorations, Hanson Nature Learning Center, Clemson. (864) 656-3405.

JULY

ONGOING

ONGOING

Daily • Trail Riding, Croft State Natural Area, Spartanburg. (864) 585-1283.

Daily • Art Gallery at the Fran Hanson Discovery Center, South Carolina Botanical Garden, Clemson. (864) 656-3405.

Tuesdays and Thursdays until Sept. 15 • Bingo, Festhalle, Helen, Ga. (706) 878-1908.

28

Saturdays until Aug. 20 • Living History Saturdays, Ninety Six National Historic Site, Ninety Six. (864) 543-4068.

Saturdays through October • Hilarious Hillbilly Massacre, Pumpkintown Opry, Pickens. (864) 836-8141.

2 • Boat Parade, Lake Murray Dam Parks, Lexington & Irmo. (803) 781-5940.

2 • Red, White and Boom!

Rock Hill. (803) 329-8756.

4 • Jammin’, Dillon Park, Sumter. (800) 688-4748.

4 • July 4th Fireworks and Celebration, Lake Murray.

(803) 781-5940.

4 • Peach Festival, Community Park, Gilbert. (803) 892-5207.

9 • Jammin’ in July Music Festival, Historic Camden Revolutionary War Site, Camden. (803) 432-9841.

9–10 • Battle of Huck’s Defeat, Historic Brattonsville, McConnells. (803) 684-2327.

Daily • Trail Riding, Kings Mountain State Park, Blacksburg. (803) 222-3209.

Daily • Trail Riding, Lee State Park, Bishopville. (803) 428-5307.

Daily • Trail Riding, Poinsett State Park, Wedgefield. (803) 494-8177.

Daily, except Sundays • Living History Days, Historic Brattonsville, McConnells.

(803) 684-2327.

Daily, except Mondays and major holidays • Historic Camden Revolutionary War Site, Camden. (803) 432-9841.

Daily until July 11 • Conservation Quest, Museum of York County, Rock Hill. (803) 329-2121.

Sundays • Docent-led Gallery Tour, Columbia Museum of Art, Columbia. (803) 779-4005.

Mondays until August 29 • Hopelands Summer Concert Series, Hopelands Gardens, Aiken. (803) 642-7650.

First Thursdays until Oct. 7 • Main Street Live, Rock Hill. (803) 324-7500.

Fridays until June 24 • Main Street Marketplace, Boyd Plaza, Columbia Museum of Art, Columbia.

(803) 779-4005, ext. 2042.

Fridays • Main Street Marketplace, Columbia Museum of Art, Columbia. (803) 779-4005.

First Saturdays until Dec. 3 • Rivers Bridge Battlefield Guided Tour, River Bridge State Historic Site, Ehrhardt. (803) 267-3675.

LOWCOUNTRY JUNE

4 • Corvette Show, Broadway at the Beach, Myrtle Beach. (843) 347-2019 15 • The Run Down Summer Fun Trail 5k, Wannamaker County Park, North Charleston. (843) 795-4386.

16–18 • South Carolina Farmers Festival, Lake City. (843) 374-1500.

18 • Cannon Firings, Charles Towne Landing Historic Site, Charleston. (843) 852-4200.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | June 2011 | scliving.coop

18 • Fishing Tournament, Fishing Pier, Folly Beach.

(843) 588-3474.

18 • Scouts Day, Whirlin’ Waters Adventure Waterpark, North Charleston. (843) 795-4386.

18 • Shaggin’ on the Cooper, Mount Pleasant Pier, Mount Pleasant. (843) 762-9946.

18–19 • Art in the Park, Myrtle Beach. (843) 448-7690.

24 • Moonlight Mixer, Fishing Pier, Folly Beach. (843) 795-4386.

24 • Movies at the Pier, Memorial Waterfront Park and Pier, Mount Pleasant. (843) 795-4386.

25 • Daufuskie Day Celebration, Bluffton.

(843) 986-9515.

25 • Harborwalk Festival, Georgetown. (843) 546-1511.

25 • Luke Mitchell Release Party, Remy’s Bar and Grill, Hilton Head Island. (843) 842-3800.

25 • Riverfest Celebration, Historic Riverfront, Conway. (843) 248-2273.

JULY

1–31 • North Charleston City Gallery Exhibit, Charleston Area Convention Center, North Charleston. (843) 740-5854.

2–3 • Italian-American Salute to America Festival, Market Common, Myrtle Beach. (843) 421-6419.

3 • Red, White and Blue on the Green, Summerville.

(843) 821-7260.

4 • 4th of July Blast, Patriots Point, Mount Pleasant. (843) 971-5041.

4 • Boat Parade & Fireworks, Murrells Inlet. (843) 357-2007.

4 • Fabulous Fourth in the Creek, Goose Creek.

(843) 569-4242.

4 • Firecracker 5000 - 5k Run & Walk, Bluffton. (843) 757-8520.

4 • July 4th Family Fireworks Festival, Emmanuel Baptist Church, Hartsville. (843) 332-6401.

4 • July 4th Festival, Riverfront Park, North Charleston. (843) 740-2504.

4 • Unveiling The Union Army and The Confederate Army, SC Civil War Museum, Myrtle Beach. (843) 293-3377.

9 • Christmas in July Festival, Scranton United Methodist Church, Scranton. (843) 210-9997.

ONGOING

Daily • Trail Riding, Cheraw State Park, Cheraw. (843) 537-9656.

Daily until June 30 • Day in the Life of a Sailor, Charles Towne Landing State Historic Site, Charleston. (843) 852-4200.

Daily except Mondays • Feeding Frenzy, Huntington Beach State Park, Murrells Inlet. (843) 237-4440.

Mondays, until Oct. 31 • Coastal Kayaking, Huntington Beach State Park, Murrells Inlet. (843) 237-4440.

Tuesdays, until Aug. 9 • Plankton—The Ocean’s Garden and Zoo!, Myrtle Beach State Park, Myrtle Beach. (843) 238-5325.

Tuesdays, until Aug. 30 • A Crabby Experience, Myrtle Beach State Park, Myrtle Beach. (843) 238-5325.

Wednesdays, June 1– Aug. 24 • Stingray Shuffle, Myrtle Beach State Park, Myrtle Beach. (843) 238-5325.

Wednesdays, until Oct. 31 • Coastal Birding, Huntington Beach State Park, Murrells Inlet. (843) 237-4440.

Thursdays, June 2–Aug. 11 • Litter Critters, Myrtle Beach State Park, Myrtle Beach. (843) 238-5325.

Thursdays, June 2–Aug. 18 • Jumping Jellyfish!, Myrtle Beach State Park, Myrtle Beach. (843) 238-5325.

Thursdays, June 2–Sept. 1 • From the Forest to the Sea, Myrtle Beach State Park, Myrtle Beach. (843) 238-5325.

Fridays, until Aug. 12 • Tales from the Sea, Myrtle Beach State Park, Myrtle Beach. (843) 238-5325.

Fridays, until Oct. 28 • Farmers Market, Coastal Discovery Center at Historic Honey Horn, Hilton Head Island. (843) 422-4168.

Fridays, June 3–July 29 • Paint By Nature, Myrtle Beach State Park, Myrtle Beach. (843) 238-5325.

Fridays, June 3–Sept. 2 • Seine-sational Fun!, Myrtle Beach State Park, Myrtle Beach. (843) 238-5325.

Saturdays, June 4–Sept. 3 • Crazy Over Crabs!, Myrtle Beach State Park, Myrtle Beach. (843) 238-5325.

Saturdays, June 4– Sept. 3 • Feeding Time, Myrtle Beach State Park, Myrtle Beach. (843) 238-5325.

Saturdays–Tuesdays • Mansion Tours, Hampton Plantation State Historic Site, McClellanville. (843) 546-9361.

Second Saturdays • Local League of Artisans Arts & Crafts Bazaar, Yesterday’s, Hartsville. (843) 498-6576.

Third Saturdays, until July 16 • Fears and Fortified Charles Towne: Cannon Demonstration, Charles Towne Landing State Historic Site, Charleston. (843) 852-4200.

SCHumorMe

By Jan A. Igoe

Waiting for hurricane honey-do For South Carolinians, the month of

June is a mixed blessing. Our weather is fabulous and the beach beckons, but we’re always one burp of La Niña away from Arlene, Harvey, Ophelia and Vince—just a few of the potential stars on this year’s hurricane list.

Every June 1, Honey reminds me not to communicate any special requests involving named storms to a higher power. He still holds me per­ sonally responsible for the 75-foot tree that took out half our house during Hurricane Floyd in 1999. Yes, it was entirely my fault.

Just to be clear: I did not drop down on my knees and pray for a tree attack. I merely hinted that if—just if—we were due to be smashed by any falling object, it would be great if the object could land on the right side of the house. That’s where Honey needed an incentive to enclose the carport and finish the attic, an idea he’d been toying with since our kids, who voted in the last election, were plus signs on my pregnancy test.

As Floyd gasped his last gust, Honey wiped the sweat off his brow and announced that we’d dodged another bullet. Two seconds later, there was an odd, muffled rumble as the world’s largest pine tree came crashing through our roof, attic and carport, where our new SUV broke its fall.

In another home, a 75-foot tree making an entrance through the roof might have been thunderously loud.

But our attic was properly cushioned for emergency landings by several metric tons of vintage craft supplies I’d been hoarding.

The way I see it, nature was kind. In a matter of seconds, Floyd sorted my stuff, gutted our attic, revived Honey’s carpentry skills and

30

landscaped the yard so we could finally stop wondering when that stupid tree would fall on our house.

But Honey summed it up differently: “You did this!”

Nonsense. Guys will never admit it in presence of estrogen, but they can’t wait for hurricane season. It’s the only time of year they can run around the neighborhood revving their chainsaws without getting arrested or cast in a Texas massacre movie.

Unfortunately, there are no laws to keep over-zealous husbands with motorized weapons off steep, wet roofs, especially when there are tree trunks waiting to be lassoed, winched and diced.

I begged him not to go up there.

My only request (besides a finished garage and new master suite to replace the attic) was to hire pro­ fessional tree removers—men with advanced chopping degrees who wear

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | June 2011 | scliving.coop

hardhats and steel-toed boots. But the intoxicating scent of chainsaw oil and thrill of flaunting a machine that could instantly separate him from his extremities was more than Honey could bear. New chest hair was already creeping over his shoulders and marching down his back. Before you could say, “Does our insurance policy cover dismemberment?” he was up on the roof with one flip-flopped foot on the tree, beating his chest like Tarzan.

Eventually, he came back down still in one piece, so I can’t complain.

Besides, he pledged to finish the house if I would just stop stocking craft stuff in the attic. Of course, I agreed. It’s much safer in our new master suite.

Jan A. Igoe is a humorist from Horry County who trusts her husband with a chainsaw at ground level, but keeps an arborist on retainer through October, in case of Harvey.

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