South Carolina Living September 2012 by American MainStreet Publications

RAcing with the wind The joys of sailing on South Carolinaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lakes Fall l Travdee Gui

SC Sto r i e s

September 2012

Uncommon threads

Humor me

Brace yourself

SC R e c i pe

A last taste of summer

Read the fascinating stoRies of 100 WoRld WaR ii veteRans “I wasn’t in combat that much, just the 34 days that I was on Iwo Jima, but it was dangerous enough.”

From the Pearl Harbor bombing to the Iwo Jima flag raising, from the Normandy Invasion to the Berlin Airlift, this 212‑page book will absorb you with the profiles, period photos and portraits of 100 South Carolina World War II veterans.

Don o. Daniels, BlythewooD

“I went in on the second or third day. They were losing so many people that they took the replacement battalion and sent us right in. I had no combat training. I had no experience in machine guns whatsoever. When I hit the shore, I was grabbed by a lieutenant, and he said, ‘What experience do you have?’ I said, ‘None.’ He said, ‘You’ll make a good machine gunner.’ ”

to order Honor Flight, complete and return this form with a check made payable to electric Cooperatives of s.C. PLEASE PRint CLEARLY

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EmAiL AddRESS

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Number of books _________________________ at $29.95 each. Amount enclosed $_________________________________________

1, 2012 A p r i l 1Wash ington, D.C. Columbia, S.C. to N

Questions: EmAiL: HonorFlight@scliving.coop PhonE: (803) 739-5066

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Price includes shipping and sales tax. Allow 3 to 4 weeks for delivery.

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Honor FligHt H

Mail form and check to: Electric Cooperatives of S.C. P.O. Box 100270 Columbia, SC 29202-3270

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AddRESS

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YouR nAmE

order your copy of honor flight today!

t h C a r ol

THE MAGAZINE FOR COOPERATIVE MEMBERS Vol. 66 • No. 9 (ISSN 0047-486X, USPS 316-240) Read in more than 450,000 homes and businesses and published monthly except in December by The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc. 808 Knox Abbott Drive Cayce, SC 29033

September 2012 • Volume 66, Number 9

Tel: (803) 926-3 1 75 Fax: (803) 796-6064 Email: letters@scliving.coop EDITOR

Keith Phillips ASSISTANT EDITOR

Diane Veto Parham FIELD EDITOR

Milton Morris

Walter Allread PUBLICATION COORDINATOR

Pam Martin

ART DIRECTOR

Sharri Harris Wolfgang DESIGNER

Susan Collins PRODUCTION

Andrew Chapman WEB EDITOR

Van O’Cain COPY EDITOR

Susan Scott Soyars Contributors

Becky Billingsley, Mike Couick, Jim Dulley, Hastings Hensel, Carrie B. Hirsch, Jan A. Igoe, Charles Joyner, Madeline Keimig, S. Cory Tanner Publisher

Lou Green ADVERTISING MANAGERS

Tel: (800) 984-0887 Dan Covell Email: dan@scliving.coop Keegan Covell Email: keegan@scliving.coop

Fall l Travee Guid FEATURE

22 Sailing Away

South Carolina’s lakes are a great place to learn to sail, but once you earn basic keelboat certification, don’t be surprised if your new hobby grows into a lifelong passion. Plus: Meet two local sailors who are putting Columbia’s Lake Murray front and center in national and international sailing circles.

National Representation

Paid advertisements are not endorsements by any electric cooperative or this publication. If you encounter a difficulty with an advertisement, inform the Editor. ADDRESS CHANGES: Please send

to your local co-op. Postmaster: Send Form 3579 to Address Change, c/o the address above.

Periodicals postage paid at Columbia, S.C., and additional mailing offices. © COPYRIGHT 201 2. The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc. No portion of South Carolina Living may be reproduced without permission of the Editor. SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING is brought to you by your member-owned, taxpaying, not-for-profit electric cooperative to inform you about your cooperative, wise energy use and the faces and places that identify the Palmetto State. Electric cooperatives are South Carolina’s — and America’s — largest utility network.

4 CO-OP CONNECTION Cooperative news

6 ON THE AGENDA

Learn how to win two tickets to the Clemson-USC game in the Touchdowns with Touchstone Energy contest. Plus: Read the speech that won a South Carolina teenager a top national co-op honor.

POWER USER DIALOGUE

10 The Potomac pentathlon

In the race for the White House, both campaigns should take a few tips from our Olympic athletes. ENERGY Q&A

12 Is your house losing energy? A simple DIY energy audit is the first step to big savings.

Printed on recycled paper

S C LIFE STORIES

14 Uncommon threads

He’s the “tailor to the all-stars,” but Jonathan Smith’s greatest achievement has nothing to do with sports or fine menswear.

16 Capturing a last taste of summer Summer-fresh yellow squash soup Jalapeño and rice meatballs Bernice’s macaroni salad Butterfinger oatmeal bars

GARDENER

18 Overwintering container-

grown citrus

RAcing with the wind

Expert tips for keeping lemons, limes and kumquats healthy through the change of seasons.

The joys of sailing on South Carolina’s lakes Fall Travel Guide

HUMOR ME

38 With braces for all

You can’t put a price on a winning smile. Or can you?

34 MARKETPLACE 36 SC EVENTS Member of the NCM network of publications, reaching more than 7 million homes and businesses

RECIPE

SC Sto r i e S

Uncommon threads

SepTember 2012

National Country Market Tel: (800) NCM-1181

Humor me

Brace yourself

SC r e C i pe

A last taste of summer

Learning to sail on Columbia’s Lake Murray can be the start of a lifetime of adventure. Photo by Milton Morris.

On the Agenda For a listing p m co lete s, see of Event 6 page 3

TOP PICK FOR KIDS

Highlights

OCTOBER 14–18

Starburst Storytellers’ Festival

Somewhere in between “once upon a time” and “happily ever after,” stories burst into life at this Anderson County Library festival, thanks to master storytellers. Be it a child with chopsticks or a Civil War spy, Lynn Ruehlmann transforms herself into her characters. If you like wacky sound effects, pull up a chair for Andy Offutt Irwin’s humorous tales, complete with “manic Silly Putty voice” and guitar tunes. Jump into stories of diversity and hope with Oba William King (left), who invites audience participation. Kids will be captivated by these antics and other tales told aloud. The five-day event is sponsored in part by Blue Ridge Electric Cooperative.

SEPTEMBER 29

The Enchanted Chalice Renaissance Faire

Broadsword battles. Jousting. Fire-breathing. Jesters and jugglers. Apart from the State House, where else in South Carolina can you find entertainment like this? Adding to the merriment, medieval attire is encouraged— but not required—at this Greenville faire. Peddlers sell period clothing and trinkets, and ye olde food booths offer hearty roasted meats and other fare. A special “Childe’s Realm” includes Rapunzel’s Tower. No maces, pikes or halberds, please.

For details, visit andersonlibrary.org or call (864) 260-4500.

For details, visit greenvilleuu.org/renfaire2012 or call (864) 271-4883.

SEPTEMBER 28–30

Raylrode Daze Festivul

Get a taste of bygone days at Branchville’s annual festival, where can-can girls, kangaroo courts and gunfights are daily entertainment. Branchville even built a replica Old West town, complete with a jail, saloon and mercantile, in celebration of its railroad heritage. Take a ride on the Cal Smoak Special tram-style train, or test your 21st-century fitness in old-time contests, including spike driving, coal shoveling and hay bale stacking.

OCTOBER 6

The Night before King’s Mountain

The British are coming again, and this time, you can watch. Bring children, lawn chairs and a picnic dinner to Cowpens National Battlefield near Gaffney at 6 p.m. Re-enactors from the Overmountain Victory Trail Association will recreate the drama of October 6–7, 1780, when Revolutionary patriots from Tennessee and Virginia joined S.C. militiamen at a cow-pasturing field to fight the British loyalists in the pivotal Battle of King’s Mountain. Spoiler alert: the Americans win! For details, visit nps.gov/cowp or call (864) 461-2828.

For details, visit raylrodedazefestivul.com or call (803) 274-8831.

OCTOBER 10–21

South Carolina State Fair

You know the drill: elephant ears, funnel cakes, deep-fried anything and then the Tilt-AWhirl, if you can stomach it. This year’s S.C. State Fair challenges you to “Find Your Happy” with wider midway aisles, the addition of Mexican cuisine, NASCAR Nite and a special Girl Scouts of America centennial exhibit. Concert headliners include Jake Owen, the Doobie Brothers and Boyz II Men. Channel your inner food critic by voting to send three chefs to the Famously Hot Chef Showdown. If you lose your happy, plan to meet it at the rocket. For details, visit scstatefair.org or call (888) 444-3247.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

Email COMMENTS, QUESTIONS AND Story suggestions TO LETTERS@SCLIVING.COOP

Home repair

What to look for in an HVAC contractor Installing a new heating

system can be a real headache, but finding the right HVAC installer can make the experience as pain-free as possible. Here are three tips for screening potential contractors. n Ask around: Ask neighbors and friends if they can recommend a good contractor—or if there’s someone you should avoid. n Do your homework: When you talk to an HVAC contractor, don’t be afraid to ask a few tough questions. What are the contractor’s licensing and qualifications? Is the contractor a member of and cooling

state and national contractor associations, such as Air Conditioning Contractors of America? Is he or she adequately insured? “It’s important to have these conversations before work begins,” says Alan Shedd, director of residential and commercial energy programs for Touchstone Energy. “That way, if there are any surprises after installation, you know what to expect.” n Get an estimate —or three: Shedd advises getting three written estimates of the work to be performed. A good contractor will inspect your home and old system thoroughly and then explain your best replacement options. In addition to the bottom-line price of the installation, make sure each bid includes the estimated annual operating cost of the proposed HVAC system to be installed. Air conditioners are measured by Seasonal Energy Efficiency Ratio (SEER)— the higher the SEER, the more efficient the unit.

Touchdowns with Touchstone Energy Are you ready for some high-flying fun? Enter South Carolina Living’s “Touchdowns with Touchstone Energy” contest. One winner will receive a flight in the Touchstone Energy Hot Air Balloon (weather permitting) and two tickets to the Clemson-South Carolina game. This contest is open to any South Carolina electric cooperative member, 18 years of age or older, whose co-op belongs to The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc., the state association of electric cooperatives. For complete contest rules and to fill out an online entry form, visit SCLiving.coop. A mail-in entry form can be found on the back cover.

A facebook salute to our veterans

The Honor Flight sponsored by your local electric cooperatives was so successful that we’re doing it again. Follow the adventures of more than 180 veterans, guardians and volunteers as they tour the National World War II Memorial in Washington, D.C., on the next co-op- sponsored Honor Flight. Photos from the trip will be posted throughout the day on Sept. 26 on facebook.com/SouthCarolinaLiving.

— MADELINE KEIMIG

S.C.RAMBLE!

energy efficiency tip

By Charles Joyner, See Answer ON Page 35

Using compact fluorescent lamps (CFLs) in outdoor lights can save money and energy because these lights stay on the longest. Energy Star-qualified CFLs use 75 percent less energy than traditional incandescent bulbs. To save even more, look for fixtures designed for outdoor use that have automatic daylight shutoff and motion sensors. Learn more at energysavers.gov. Source: U.S. Department of Energy

UnscramblIt!

Cy Nical says …“Each morning is the D — — — — — — — — — — — — — — .” — c s e m b a s m r e r l l b l Use the capital letters in the code key below to fill in the blanks above.

A D E F N O R W means s c r a m b l e

scliving.coop | September 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

On the Agenda Washington Youth Tour

Oliver named national co-op spokesman

Devin Oliver, who represented Palmetto Electric Cooperative on this year’s Washington Youth Tour, has been selected national spokesperson for the Youth Leadership Council, a program sponsored by the National Rural Electric Cooperative Association (NRECA). Oliver’s route to this honor began in June when he traveled to Washington, D.C., with 47 other South Carolina high school students for the annual Youth Tour.

South Carolina’s students selected him as their representative to the Youth Leadership Council Conference, held July 21–25 in Washington. It was at the conference that Oliver delivered his winning speech, which he will deliver again during the NRECA annual membership meeting February 13–20 in New Orleans. “I’m pumped,” Oliver says. “I’ve taken my leadership skills in my school and community to a new level. I want to thank Palmetto Electric Cooperative for allowing me to go on this trip of a lifetime.”

E Pluribus Unum

BY DEVIN OLIVER

My name is Devin Oliver, and I’m representing the great state of South Carolina. I want to share with you what visiting our nation’s capital has meant to me. I want to share with you how touring places like the U.S. Capitol, the Lincoln Memorial, the Tomb of the Unknowns and the Washington Monument have left their mark on me. I want you to look in your pocket, or your wallet or purse and, if you find a one-dollar bill, I want you to take it out and hold on to it. Now pass it up to the stage; this is my speaking fee. Just kidding, I’ll tell you why you need it in a minute. While we visited each of those landmarks I just mentioned, I noticed something small and seemingly insignificant. I saw it first at the National Archives. I saw it again at the World War II Memorial and later at the Capitol building. Three words: E Pluribus Unum. I didn’t know what it meant, but I became curious because I kept seeing it. When I looked up the meaning of this Latin phrase, I discovered that it meant “out of many, one.” It got me thinking about our trip to Washington, D.C. The very first time that I met the three other students selected to go from my co-op, Palmetto Electric Cooperative, there were some polite smiles, but mostly awkward silence. Now I’m sure y’all had the same experience when you first met the students from your co-ops. In the six days we spent together, sharing experiences, we became so close that it seems like we always knew each other. Out of many individuals, we became one closeknit group.

A total of 48 students from the great state of South Carolina traveled to Washington in June. When we all met for the first time at the airport, it was awkward. We were all strangers. We were all individuals from our own little world. Through the course of the week, the boat tour on the Potomac River especially, and the tours of D.C., we became a family; one giant dysfunctional family. Now, I’m sure y’all had the same experience. Two hundred thirty-five years ago, our founding fathers knew of the importance of this power of diversity and the strength that it creates. Our founders knew that people from different backgrounds, races, religions, political backgrounds, education and upbringing would form together to create a better, stronger country to live in. E Pluribus Unum can be found all over Washington, D.C., and even in your pocket. In the journals of the Continental Congress, dating back to 1782, you’ll find this phrase. On the Statue of Freedom, atop the U.S. Capitol, you’ll find this phrase. On the seal of the United States of America, you’ll find this phrase. In the rotunda of the Capitol, in the painting of “The Apotheosis of Washington” way up on the ceiling, you’ll find this phrase. And on every coin ever produced by the United States Mint dating back to 1786, you’ll find this phrase. Even the formation of electric cooperatives is based upon the idea of E Pluribus Unum. Electric cooperatives were created to serve rural consumers when private, for-profit companies wouldn’t. Co-ops were formed to serve the needs of the many. By the time our plane landed back in South Carolina, many of us were in tears. A group of strangers only six days before

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

were now transformed into a family. E Pluribus Unum means out of many, one. Prior to June 16, we were many. Now we are one brought together by our electric cooperatives. Each of our state’s electric cooperatives chose each of us to represent them. Where we once didn’t know each other, in just a few days we became one: one group representing each state, comprising one great nation. So, remember that dollar bill I asked you to take out? Flip it over on the back. Look to the right side and you will see an eagle. Inside that eagle’s mouth is a scroll. Written on that scroll is “E Pluribus Unum.” From this day forward, I ask that every time you have a dollar bill in your hand, I want you to think of the greatness of our respective states, and the greatness of our nation that is built upon those words and ideals of our founding fathers. Our greatness, our strength comes from our diversity. I would like to thank my local co-op, Palmetto Electric Cooperative, especially Mrs. Kristen Keller and our CEO, Mr. Tom Upshaw, for allowing me to go on this trip of a lifetime. Next, I would like to thank The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, including Mr. Van O’Cain, for bringing all of us from the great state of South Carolina together for a fun and truly inspiring trip. I would also like to thank the National Rural Electric Cooperative Association for organizing and bringing students together from across our country. Lastly, I want to thank our founding fathers for their wisdom. Out of many, we are one. Thank you so very much, and may God bless our America.

Get More Visit SCLiving.coop to watch a video of Devin’s speech.

Education Safety First

Lightning strikes Lightning can strike up to 10 miles away from a thunderstorm, so if you can hear thunder, you are within striking distance. The best policy is to plan ahead so you do not get caught outside in a storm. However, if you cannot find shelter in a building, take the following precautions: n Seek shelter in a closed vehicle, like your car or truck. n Avoid water, high ground and open spaces. n Do not seek shelter in open-frame shelters or vehicles such as golf carts. n Do not stand near poles, metal fences or bleachers, trees or even other people (spread out 20 feet apart). n Wait until 30 minutes have passed without lightning or thunder before returning outside. For more information on electrical safety, visit SafeElectricity.org. Source: Energy Education Council

GONE FISHIN’

The Vektor Fish & Game Forecast provides feeding and migration times. Major periods can bracket the peak by an hour. Minor peaks, ½ hour before and after. Minor

AM Major

September

17 7:52 1:22 18 8:52 2:07 19 9:52 2:52 20 11:07 3:37 21 — 4:52 22 — 6:07 23 — 7:52 24 1:22 9:07 25 3:07 10:07 26 4:22 10:52 27 5:07 11:22 28 5:52 11:52 29 — 6:37 30 — 7:07

October

Minor

PM Major

1:37 7:22 2:07 7:52 2:52 8:22 3:37 8:52 1:22 9:37 10:52 3:07 9:22 3:52 10:07 4:22 10:37 4:52 11:22 5:22 5:37 11:52 5:52 12:07 12:22 12:37 12:52 6:37

1 7:52 1:07 1:22 6:52 2 8:22 1:37 1:37 7:22 3 9:07 2:07 2:07 7:37 4 9:52 2:52 2:22 7:52 5 11:07 3:22 2:52 8:07 6 — 4:22 1:07 8:07 7 — 5:22 — 3:07 8 — 6:52 12:37 3:22 9 — 8:22 9:52 3:52 10 2:37 9:07 10:22 4:07 11 3:52 10:07 10:52 4:37 12 4:52 10:52 4:52 11:22 13 11:22 5:37 5:22 11:52 14 — 6:22 12:07 12:22 15 — 7:07 12:37 6:07 16 8:07 1:07 1:22 6:37

Reader Reply Contest

Bon voyage!

Congratulations to Ricki Wright, the winner of our June/July Reader Reply Contest. Her prize? A four-day, three-night Caribbean cruise for two to the Bahamas, courtesy of Carnival Cruise Lines and Island Travel of Hilton Head. To enter the current Reader Reply Contest, use the online application form at SCLiving.coop or the mail-in form on page 21.

Write SCL Letters to the editor We love hearing

from our readers. Tell us what you think about this issue, send us story suggestions or just let us know what’s on your mind by writing to Letters, South Carolina Living, 808 Knox Abbott Drive, Cayce, SC 29033. You can also email us at letters@scliving.coop or send a note by fax to (803) 796-6064. All letters received are subject to editing before publication.

WIRE presents opportunity scholarships who are returning to college will get a hand from the WIRE Opportunity Scholarship. Two South Carolina women

Jennifer Oliver of Wallace, a member of Marlboro Electric Cooperative, is a teacher’s assistant with the Chesterfield-Marlboro Head Start program. She is enrolled at Northeastern Technical College in Cheraw, where she majors in early childhood education. “I’m a hard-working, single parent who loves giving back to my kids and community,” Oliver says. “I pulled myself to return to school after many years to help better serve preschoolers in Marlboro and Chesterfield counties.” Leah Walters, a member of Mid-Carolina Electric Cooperative, is a production coordinator at Pegasus Originals. She attends Midlands Technical College where she’s majoring in nursing. Her long-term goal is to open a respite care facility to help families who are caring for their elderly loved ones. “Respect is due to the generations that reared us, and I would want them to have the same care that I hope to have when I am in my senior years,” she says. WIRE—Women Involved in Rural Electrification—is a statewide service organiza tion established in 1981. The organization presents $2,500 scholarships each year to benefit women who may not have been able to attend college after high school, but who want to continue their education. Applicants must be co-op members who graduated from high school or earned a GED at least 10 years earlier. This year, 30 women from across the state applied. The WIRE Opportunity Scholarship is named for Jenny Ballard, an early leader of WIRE. She is the wife of Al Ballard, former president of the statewide association of electric cooperatives.

scliving.coop | September 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

Dialogue

The Potomac pentathlon I find it fascinating that the Summer Olympic Games

precede the U.S. presidential election every fourth year. I sit spellbound watching the world’s best athletes give their all to stand atop the medal platform. When the Olympic flame is extinguished, I am stuck with watching three months of the Potomac Pentathlon. The contrast is striking. Olympic athletes embrace the values of excellence, respect and friendship. While the modern media spectacle may seem gaudy with its advertising spin and “Today” show interviews with the personality du jour, there is an authenticity to each athlete’s quest. A gun sounds or a bell chimes and their opportunity of a lifetime is now “make or break.” Someone wins, others lose, but most competitors embrace. As spectators, we sense that they are celebrating a common investment of hard work, sweat and perseverance—and a common rejection of cheap tricks. Contrast that to our acceptance (maybe encouragement) of less than the very best from our presidential contenders. They engage in a Potomac Pentathlon of five events—spin, innuendo, hype, deflection and “family photo op.” The two major-party campaigns and their affiliates discount the power of ideas, instead counting on winning the final leg of the political cross-country after an “October surprise” when their competitor is tripped up in the final lap. And you and I let it happen. We have come to reward a segment of our media that titillates rather than informs. I genuinely doubt that the drafters of our Constitution had this in mind when they secured the freedom of just one industry in the Constitution—the press. Am I venting? Yes. Parents and teachers once challenged their children and students to work hard so as to earn the privilege of being elected president of the United States of America. When Art Linkletter asked children in the 1960s

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

what they wanted to be when they grew up, president and astronaut were common answers. If interviewed today, a driven 10-year-old athlete might say, “An Olympic swimmer with more medals than Michael Phelps.” A 10-year-old dreamer might say, “I want to invent a better iPhone.” And the 10-year-old future public policymaker might say, “I want to start my own federal Super PAC.” In this coarse campaign process, I fear we are limiting our children’s aspirations and driving away potentially visionary leaders. Could Abraham Lincoln have survived assaults from MSNBC and Fox News if they had been around in 1860? Would he have been allowed to lead with his determination to preserve our Union, often displeasing friend and foe? Would Republican Theodore Roosevelt have had the courage to unleash the American economy from monopolistic trusts? Would Democrat Harry Truman have been willing to accept his sole ability to bring an abrupt halt to World War II? Whether you are a Republican, Democrat or one uncomfortable with either party, get ready to vote in November. Our vote is but a part of what we owe to those who have defended that right. No one should be trusted who tells you that your choice is wrong or your vote is irrelevant. Most important, tell a young person you love that if they work very, very hard they can still grow up to be president of the United States.

Mike Couick President and CEO, The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina

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scliving.coop | September 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

EnergyQ&A

BY jim Dulley

Is your house losing energy?

Tape a thermometer on the wall next to the furnace thermostat to check its accuracy. Black & Decker’s Thermal Leak Detector can sense warm and cool spots throughout the house.

where siding and brick meet. Look for openings around electrical and gas service entrances, cable TV and phone lines, outdoor faucets and dryer vents. Anywhere two different building materials come together, there may be openings where air can escape. Plug cracks or holes with a sealant appropriate to that area. Make sure doors and windows close er & D ec k

The older your house is, the more likely you can significantly reduce your utility bills with a few energy-efficient improvements. A simple, do-it-yourself home energy evaluation can help you locate trouble spots and figure out where to make adjustments. Start in areas with symptoms of existing problems, such as condensation or drafts. Check around window and door frames for leaky gaps and joints. Accidental air leakage accounts for about a third of the energy used for home heating and cooling, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. Look for leaks around electrical outlets, switchplates, baseboards, fireplace dampers, attic hatches, plumbing, wiring and air conditioners. Air

Bl ac k

Q A

My house could probably be more energy efficient, but I’m not sure where to start. How can I make some changes that will lower my energy costs?

James Dulley

A do-it-yourself inspection can reveal ways to increase energy efficiency

Accidental air leakage accounts for about a third of the energy used for home heating and cooling. leaks indicate places to seal gaps with caulk or weather stripping. To identify the leaky spots, hold a lighted stick of incense near walls, windows and doors and observe the smoke trail (you can also use a damp hand to feel for drafts). Check for gaps where the walls rest on the top of the foundation, called the sill, as well as at exterior corners, around the chimney, and at any areas 12

properly. Shut the door or window on a piece of paper, then pull the paper out. If it tears, the fit is tight; if not, you’re losing energy. Older homes often have inadequate insulation, allowing for significant heat loss (or gain during summer). Attics, crawl spaces and basements are prime candidates for air leaks and may call for weather stripping, additional insulation or vapor barriers in problem

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

areas. The U.S. Department of Energy website offers tips for how you can add insulation to an existing home at energysavers.gov. A good way to check for specific hot and cold wall areas, indicating air leaks or lack of insulation, is to purchase a thermal leak detector for under $40. Using infrared technology, these devices pinpoint cold and warm on walls and around windows. You can also check the accuracy of your central furnace or air conditioner thermostat by taping a bulb thermometer next to it on the wall. You may find the thermostat is inaccurate and you’re actually keeping the house warmer or cooler than you think. Make sure your heating and cooling equipment is in good working order. Look for dirt streaks on the ductwork that indicate air leakage, especially near seams, and seal those with duct mastic. If your unit is more than 15 years old, replacing it with a newer, more energy-efficient model will help reduce energy consumption. If you prefer to consult a trained energy expert, ask your local electric cooperative if it offers comprehensive home energy audits. HVAC contractors trained to Building Performance Institute (BPI) or Home Energy Rating System (HERS) standards can also perform audits, usually at a cost of $250 to $300. To download a list of certified auditors compiled by the South Carolina Energy Office, visit energy.sc.gov/publications/registry.pdf. Send questions to Energy Q&A, South Carolina Living, 808 Knox Abbott Drive, Cayce, SC 29033, email energyqa@scliving.coop or fax (803) 739-3041.

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scliving.coop | September 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

SC Life

SCStories

Uncommon threads

Jonathan Smith AGE:

Pleasant View community, Horry County OCCUPATION: Owner of Bespoke Carolina GREATEST MOMENT: It happened on a mission trip this summer: “Having an Ethiopian boy accept Jesus Christ as his savior to me personally.” FAVORITE PASTIME: Spending time with his two grandchildren, Lane and Matthew Shane. HOME TURF:

Jonathan Smith—aka “The Suit Man”— specializes in suiting up the well-heeled, especially athletes who want to look their best off the field. He’s been called a “tailor to the all-stars.” Smith’s business, Bespoke Carolina, catapulted to sartorial stardom after he began outfitting Deion Sanders in the ’90s. With word-of-mouth advertising from “Neon Deion” and others, Smith built an impressive roster of clients, currently including Harold Reynolds of the MLB Network and Joe Mauer of the Minnesota Twins. Known for his meticulous measurements —“bespoke” is, after all, a British term for “custom made”—Smith has outfitted NASCAR legend Richard Petty, former Clemson basketball coach Oliver Purnell and a bevy of South Carolina businessmen. His suits range from $800 to $1,800. Not bad for a self-described country boy who works, with his wife, Mary, from his farm in rural Horry County. “I’ve been very fortunate over the years to love what I do and be successful at it,” he says. “I’ve been very blessed.” He doesn’t mean just materially. Deeply religious, Smith this summer took part in a Baptist mission trip to Ethiopia. After witnessing for Jesus, he asked one man, “What motivated you to accept Christ?” The Ethiopian replied, “When I saw the way you treated me and the way you loved me, and the way that you embraced me, I knew that the story of Jesus was true—it was true!” Faith, Smith says, “goes beyond things that you acquire. If you know Christ, it’s a common thread that we can all join in and be a part of.” —WALTER ALLREAD

Milton Morris

Web Extra Visit SCLiving.coop this month to see the video of Jonathan Smith’s mission trip.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

scliving.coop | September 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

Recipe

Edited by Carrie Hirsch

Capturing a last taste of summer SUMMER-FRESH YELLOW SQUASH SOUP SERVES 4

2 tablespoons olive oil 1 small onion, chopped 2 cloves garlic, chopped 2 pounds yellow squash, peeled, cooked and mashed 1 12-ounce can chicken broth 1 teaspoon fresh basil leaves, chopped 1 teaspoon cumin 1 teaspoon lemon pepper Salt

In a medium pot, heat olive oil, then saute onions and garlic until soft. Add squash, chicken broth, basil, cumin and lemon pepper, and stir. Bring to a light boil. Cover and simmer, stirring occasionally, for 25–30 minutes. Salt to taste. BESSIE CAPPS, WALHALLA

Ina Peters / iStockphoto

JALAPEÑO AND RICE MEATBALLS 5 pounds raw hamburger meat (80 percent lean) 1 large onion, diced 2 jalapeño peppers, diced ¼ cup hot sauce ½ cup rice, uncooked 1 26-ounce can condensed tomato soup

Rita Jacobs / iStockphoto

In a large bowl, combine hamburger meat, onion, peppers, hot sauce and uncooked rice. Mix well, using your hands. Shape meatballs slightly smaller than the size of golf balls. Pour tomato soup into a large sauce pan (do not add water). Place meatballs in the soup (the soup level will not cover the meatballs). Bring to a simmer, and then cook on low heat, covered, for about 2 hours. Note: After the meatballs have cooked for 1 hour, turn them and continue to cook for the remaining hour. These are delicious by themselves or can be served over hot rice. JENNIFER BELL, CLOVER

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

Debbi Smirnoff / iStockphoto

SERVES 12

BUTTERFINGER OATMEAL BARS MAKES 24 BARS

1 cup dark brown sugar TOPPING ½ cup granulated sugar 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips 1 cup butter, melted ¾ cup creamy peanut 4 cups quick-cooking butter oatmeal

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a medium bowl, mix together dark brown sugar, granulated sugar, butter and oatmeal. Press into 9-by-13-by-2-inch pan. Bake 15 minutes, and then allow to cool. In a small pot over low heat, melt chocolate chips and peanut butter, stirring constantly. Spread on top of cooled oatmeal bars. KAREN DEMARANVILLE, LAKE WYLIE

Karen Hermann / iStockphoto

BERNICE’S MACARONI SALAD SERVES 10–12

1 pound elbow macaroni 1 ½ cups mayonnaise 2 cups fully cooked smoked ham, diced 2 cups sharp Cheddar cheese, diced 3 cups frozen mixed vegetables, thawed ½ medium onion, chopped 2 teaspoons onion powder 2 teaspoons paprika 2 teaspoons dried cilantro ½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

In a medium pot, cook macaroni according to package directions. Drain. In large serving bowl, combine cooked macaroni, mayonnaise, ham, cheese, vegetables and onion. Sprinkle onion powder, paprika, cilantro and black pepper evenly over the mixture and stir to combine. Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before serving. BERNICE JORDAN, AIKEN

Send us your original recipes!

We welcome recipes for all seasons: appetizers, salads, main courses, side dishes, desserts and beverages. Selected recipes win a $10 BI-LO gift card. Please specify ingredient measurements. Instead of “one can” or “two packages,” specify “one 12-ounce can” or “two 8-ounce packages.” Note the number of servings or yield. Recipes are not tested. Submit recipes online at SCLiving.coop or send to South Carolina Living, 808 Knox Abbott Drive, Cayce, SC 29033, or by email to recipe@ scliving.coop. Entries must include your name, mailing address and phone number.

scliving.coop | September 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

SCGardener

BY S. CORY TANNER

Overwintering container-grown citrus Citrus plants are ideal summer adornments

for South Carolina patios and porches, with their handsome evergreen foliage and fragrant flowers. Lemon and lime trees, even kumquats and tangerines, make excellent container plants and perform admirably in the warmer months. But getting them to survive the winter and produce quality fruit can be challenging. Nothing will kill a citrus tree faster than going from 70 degrees to below freezing in 24 to 48 hours—and that can certainly happen in a South Carolina winter. A few tips can help your container citrus plants survive the winter and be productive next year.

This potted kumquat tree can withstand colder temperatures than some other citrus varieties.

Select a cold-tolerant variety. Meyer lemon is generally considered the most cold-tolerant lemon, and it is fairly common in garden centers. In coastal areas, Meyer may survive outside all winter if planted in the ground, but in a container it will need protection statewide. Kumquat and mandarin orange varieties with even greater cold hardiness are available from specialty nurseries. Feed and water during growing season. Container-grown citrus plants require lots of water and fertilizer. Fertilize in early spring with a slow-release citrus fertilizer, then every other week during the summer with a liquid fertilizer like fish emulsion. In the heat of summer, plants need frequent watering. Allowing them to wilt will cause fruit drop. Be careful, however, not to let the container become waterlogged. To improve winter hardiness, stop fertilizing after July. Reduce watering as temperatures cool. Transition plants to cooler temperatures. Prepare to move your plants into a protected

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

location in the fall once nighttime temperatures fall into the lower 40s (Fahrenheit). Citrus, being evergreen, requires high light levels even in the winter. Indoor lighting does not come close to the quality of the sun’s rays, so leave plants outside as long as possible. Several weeks

Nothing will kill a citrus tree faster than going from 70 degrees to below freezing in 24 to 48 hours. before you expect the first freeze, start reducing light levels by moving the plant into increasingly shady locations. It is normal for some leaves to drop, as the plant cannot support as many evergreen leaves at lower light levels. An unheated garage or similar location will be sufficient protection for most of the winter. But more protection, like a heated room, will be necessary when temperatures fall below 25 degrees. Move to the heat. Don’t be afraid to move your plant back outside during prolonged warm spells. To make moving heavy potted plants in and out less of a chore, put them on casters or a dolly so you can roll them from one location to another. If the plant is too big to move and temperatures are not too low, you can cover it with a drop cloth (not plastic) and place a spotlight with an incandescent bulb underneath or drape it with non-LED Christmas lights. This will provide several degrees of cold protection, but make sure you remove the covering once the temperature warms. Success with citrus can be a little more challenging than with other potted plants, but a glass of homegrown lemonade is worth the effort in the end. is an area horticulture agent and Master Gardener coordinator for Clemson Extension based in Greenville County. Contact him at shannt@clemson.edu.

S. CORY TANNER

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scliving.coop | September 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

T H E FA L L T R AV E L G U I D E

Season Schedule 2012-2013

Sept. 2012

9/9 9/13 9/14 9/16 9/21 9/23 9/24 9/27 9/28 9/29 9/30

John, Janet and Jazz 3pm Robert Earl Keen 8pm Nitty Gritty Dirt Band 8pm Jerry Butler 3pm Maurice Williams 8pm Tommy Emmanuel 7pm The Royal Drummers & Dancers of Burundi 8pm Mother’s Finest 8pm Mac McAnally 8pm Gordon Lightfoot 8pm Jerry Sims 3pm

10/6 10/7 10/11 10/12 10/14 10/19 10/21 10/22 10/25 10/30

Oktoberfest - Downtown Newberry Steve Tyrell 7pm Preservation Hall Jazz Band 8pm Special Evening with Edwin McCain 8pm Deer Camp 3pm Legends: Featuring Rick Wade 8pm Janis Ian & Tom Paxton “Together at Last” 3pm Cindy Williams in Nunset Boulevard 3 & 8pm Ailey II 8pm Jo Dee Messina 8pm

11/4 11/8 11/9 11/10 11/26 11/27-28

Oyster Roast 5pm Away in the Basement A Church Basement Ladies Christmas 3 & 8pm The Hit Men 3 & 8pm Cowboy Movies 9:30am Art Reception & Exhibit - Christian Thee 7pm Fiddler on the Roof 3 & 8pm

12/1 12/2 12/4 12/6 12/7 12/8 12/8 12/9 12/10 12/14 12/15 12/18 12/31

The Kings of Swing Crystal Gayle Mid Carolina Band Carolina FreeStyle - Jingle all the way Palmetto Mastersingers Harley Davidson Toy Run 208th Army Band A Chorus Line - Broadway Musical Ozark Jubilee presents Branson Country Christmas Christmastime in Ireland Christmas with Emile Pandolfi A Christmas Carol New Year’s Eve

1/13 1/19 1/20 1/24 1/25 1/26 1/27 1/31

Glen Miller Orchestra 3pm Deep River Rising 8pm Don Willimas 3pm Swingin’ Medallions 8pm Up Yonder with Karen Morgan & Vic Henley 8pm Steel Magnolia 8pm Spirituality Expressed Through Arts 3pm Barber of Seville - Teatro Lirico D’Europa 8pm

2/8 2/9 2/10 2/11 2/12 2/14 2/15 2/16 2/17 2/23 2/24` 2/26 2/28

John Michael Montgomery 8pm Cowboy Movies 9:30am The CB Smith Show of Pigeon Forge 3pm Clint Black 8pm Mitzi Gaynor 8pm Women of Ireland 8pm Mountain Heart 8pm The Songs of Andrew Lloyd Webber 8pm Rhythm of the Dance 3 & 7pm James Gregory “Funniest Man in America” 3, 6 & 8:15pm Ralph Stanley and His Clinch Mountain Boys 3pm Peking Acrobats 8pm Karla Bonoff 8pm

3/2 3/3 3/5 3/8 3/10 3/14 3/15 3/16 3/17 3/21 3/22 3/23

Lorrie Morgan The Lettermen Helen Reddy Delbert McClinton Leahy SC Storytelling Network John Anderson Biloxi Blues - Neil Simon Canadian Brass Branson on the Road Chamber Orchestra Kremlin Ben E. King

Oct. 2012

Nov. 2012

Dec. 2012

Jan. 2013

Feb. 2013

Mar. 2013

Apr. 2013 4/1 4/7 4/13 4/14 4/18 4/20 4/27 May 2013 5/4 5/5 5/11 5/17

8pm 3 & 8pm 8pm 8pm 8pm 8pm 3 & 8pm 3 & 7pm 3 & 8pm 8pm 3 & 8pm 8pm

South Carolina Department of agriCulture

2012 Fall

Flower Festivals AutumnFest at the Market Greenville State Farmers Market 1354 Rutherford Road, Greenville

8pm 3 & 8pm 8pm 8pm 3pm 8pm 8pm 8pm 3pm 3 & 8pm 8pm 8pm

Swan Lake - Russian National Ballet Theatre 8pm Taming of the Shrew - Aquilla Theatre Co. 8pm Ricky Skaggs and Kentucky Thunder 3 & 8pm The Oak Ridge Boys 3 & 8pm Guy Lombardo’s Royal Canadians 8pm Pork in the Park - Downtown Newberry Hen Party - Comdey 8pm Legends of Doo Wop 8pm Doug and Bunny 3pm Rick Alviti 8pm Yesterday Once More, Carpenters Tribute 8pm

September 21–23 Friday & Saturday 8 a.m.–6 p.m. Sunday 10 a.m.–4 p.m.

Midlands Fall Plant & Flower Festival South Carolina State Farmers Market

Visit .sc.gov www.agriculture ation rm for more info

Box Office and Online: 803-276-6264

www.newberryoperahouse.com

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

3483 Charleston Hwy, West Columbia

September 28–30 Friday & Saturday 8 a.m.–6 p.m. Sunday 12–5 p.m.

Pee Dee Fall Plant & Flower Festival Pee Dee State Farmers Market 2513 W. Lucas Street, Florence

OctOber 5–7 Friday & Saturday 8 a.m.–6 p.m. Sunday 12–5 p.m.

South Carolina

• Shop

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• Visit

A variety of hotels, spas & recreational venues

• Dine

Over 20 restaurants & bars

Gotta Get Away!

Aiken

T H E FA L L T R AV E L G U I D E

Downtown

kend e e w a in w d You coul ountain Village in Stone M er or December to visit this in Octob ain Park. Choose a weekendto Georgia’s famous Stone Mount lovely village next

December package includes: • Two nights for two (one room) at October package includes: Holiday Inn Express Stone Mountain • Two nights for two (one room) at • ART Station’s holiday performance Holiday Inn Express Stone Mountain • Day pass to Christmas in the Park • ART Station’s Tour of at Stone Mountain Park Southern Ghosts • Two $40 dinner vouchers for • Day pass to Stone Mountain Park local restaurants • Two $40 dinner vouchers for • Gift basket with local goodies local restaurants H Come Dec. 7–9 and also receive • Gift basket with local goodies tickets for the Stone Mountain Woman’s Club Tour of Homes on H Come the weekend of Oct. 12–14 Dec. 8! and enjoy our Oktoberfest, too!

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jj Historic Bennettsville jj City of Aiken Tourism jj Towns County, Ga. jj S.C. Farmers Markets Flower Fest jj Irish-Italian Fest, N. Myrtle Beach jj Historic Brattonsville jj Culture & Heritage Museums, Rock Hill jj Cafe at Williams Hardware, Travelers Rest jj Alpine-Helen, Ga. jj Santee Cooper Country jj Cheraw Tourism jj Aiken Downtown Developement jj Lowcountry Tourism jj S.C. National Heritage Corridor

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scliving.coop | September 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

“ Slow down and think about it,”

my skipper, Brian Adams, repeats in a calm, firm voice as he stands in the cockpit of Rusty, a 22-foot Capri sailboat, and watches me through dark, tinted glasses. “Always have a plan when you’re sailing.” It’s my first sailing lesson, but we are already halfway out into a large cove on Lake Murray called Hollow Creek, the boat propelled by a small outboard motor that is thrumming in my hands. We’re set to hoist the mainsail and begin moving under wind power alone, and this means my plan is to take the boat “in irons”—facing it directly into the wind—so we won’t have any resistance when we try to raise the canvas. I ease the wooden tiller a few inches away, look up to the mast and see the weather vane is pointing directly forward, into the wind. The plan so far is good. Brian nods and scratches his beard, seemingly pleased. My fellow crew member, Susan Benesh, boosts herself with one sandal-covered foot against the cockpit and raises the mainsail with the halyard. Her son, and my other crew member, John Benesh, tightens the Cunningham and takes out the luff in the sail. I push the tiller to the side, bearing the boat away to a broad reach, then move to cut the motor and hoist it up. Brian’s head swivels like an owl’s, monitoring every move. “Wait, wait, wait,” he says. “You didn’t slow down and think about it enough, did you?” Unsure of what I have done wrong, I turn to see him pointing to an orange-and-white buoy that indicates we are nearing shallow water. “Now, if you go to turn around and bring the motor up, who is controlling the boat?” he asks. The answer is obvious—no one. And someone, Brian has told us, must always be steering the boat. Susan volunteers to take the tiller while I hit the kill switch and hoist the motor out of the water. The sail fills with the light breeze of a hot summer day, and Rusty eases smoothly across the lake’s surface. Without the loud sound of the motor, everything seems suddenly vivid and clear. We can hear the waves sloshing at the hull and the soft thump of the wind as it hits the sails. We are, at last, sailing. ll

Fall l Travee Guid

Learning, cruising and racing: Inside the ‘three heads’ of sailing BY HASTINGS HENSEL | Photography by Milton Morris

scliving.coop | September 2012 SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

Sailing away

A beginner’s guide to

Tack Jibe Jib Spinnaker Sheet No-sail zone Broad reach

sailing lingo

To change course by turning the bow of the boat through the wind.

To change course by turning the stern of the boat through the wind.

A triangular sail set forward of the mainmast. A large, lightweight, rounded sail used when sailing downwind.

A line used to control the alignment of a sail relative to the boat and the wind.

Author Hastings Hensel, left, learns the basics of sailing from Brian Adams of Lanier Sailing Academy at Lake Murray.

Nestled in the no-wake zone of Big Horse Creek near Southshore Marina, the office/classroom of

Lanier Sailing Academy at Lake Murray is the perfect place for Brian Adams to greet his students with the firm handshake of a man who hoists ropes and sails for a living. Shortly after I arrive at 9 a.m. for my first Basic Keelboat Sailing 101 class, the skipper begins quizzing me and my two fellow students on the contents of the first three chapters of our textbook, the American Sailing Association’s (ASA) Sailing Made Easy. Brian draws six sailboats on a whiteboard and asks us which point of sail each boat is on—then displays his patience by waiting a full minute for the first thing resembling an educated guess. “There is absolutely no pressure this morning. I will be emphasizing the word ‘basic’ over and over,” he says in his diluted British accent, which seems quite fitting for a sailing instructor. Indeed, everything about Brian Adams seems to fit with the notions of what a sailing instructor should look like— the white tennis shoes with the white tube socks, the white collared shirt tucked into the navy-blue shorts, the brown beard flecked with gray spots, the tan that would take years to scrub away. He conducts his classes through a mixture of direct 24

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

The zone in relation to the wind where the sails cannot generate power. The point of sail at a 90-degree angle to the wind.

statements (“Always know the weather report when you come out sailing”), fill-in-the blank questions (“This part of the sail here is called a … ?”), witticisms (“Boats can move. Land can’t.”) and mental exercises (“If the wind is coming from this direction, and you want to go to this imaginary island, what point of sail should you use?”). But despite appearances, Brian is not your typical sailor. He did not grow up sailing in fancy yacht clubs; he learned by taking this same introductory course at the LSA-San Francisco branch in 1992, when he was 28 and touring America by train. After a few years of selfdescribed “booze-cruising” while working construction jobs in the Caribbean, Brian and his wife, Paula, who helps run the business, moved to Atlanta and joined the Passport Sailing Club at the LSA headquarters on Lake Lanier. Brian loved it so much that he volunteered as a dockhand and eventually decided to branch out on his own. “Because I didn’t grow up sailing, I don’t necessarily think that sailors are a breed of their own,” he says. “I don’t think you have to be a hard-core sailor to enjoy sailing.” “You can do it by what I call ‘sail-by-numbers’—by going through a checklist,” Brian continues. “What is poetical and mystical is when it all lines up, and the boat takes off, and it all feels right. Then you start relaxing, and you go through your checklist again, and before you know it, you’re going through your checklist without thinking about it, and then it becomes intuitive.” Despite its stereotypical image as a leisurely sport, sailing is not inherently relaxing. There is too much to do on a sailboat to make it go in the direction you want it to go—much more than simply cranking the engine, pushing the throttle forward and turning the steering wheel. “In sailing, you’re never in a hurry. If you want to be in a hurry, you can pay $70,000 for that,” Brian says, pointing at a cabin-cruiser as it motors past. “Sailing is not

T H E FA L L T R AV E L G U I D E

5th Annual

Italian Festival and

Bocce Tournament “Where Italian Hospitality Awaits You!”

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2012

Downtown Columbia Main St 11 AM – 10 PM

Hosted by Columbia’s Bella Italia Lodge 2808

Free Admission!

• Authentic Italian Food • Homemade Italian Dolci (sweets) • Fresh Market, Music • Tarantella Dance • Live Entertainment, Games • Trevi Fountain, Opera • Grape Stomping • Family Friendly! • Sponsor Opportunities!

City Garage Parking! www.osiacolumbiasc.org Tel 803.600-3720 or 803.772.0164

scliving.coop | September 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

Sailing away

necessarily relaxing for beginners, but it can be one of the most relaxing things in the world once you get it.”

Throughout the first two days of lessons, we work mostly on points of sail, tacking, jibing, docking

Built for speed

Joe Waters and the quest for the perfect sail Stick around any Lake Murray marina long enough, and you’re bound to hear about Joe Waters, a local sailor with an international reputation. A competitive racer with 15 national sailing championships to his name, Waters is a sailing instructor, boat builder and former Olympic sailing coach who helped the Russian team win a silver medal in the 1996 summer games. But his current claim to fame is as an internationally acclaimed sailmaker, designing and stitching custom sails at his modest shop near Lexington. His passion for racing proved to be the key to success when he quit his job at UPS and launched his business—Waters Sails—in 1985. “I was racing, and I was buying sails, and I developed the knack of being able to take those sails and change them just a little bit and basically outperform [the originals],” he says. “So I would go to the race, we’d win, and somebody would come over and like the sails and want to buy them.” Specializing in sails cut to fit the unique sailing characteristics of each boat, Waters has clients across the country, but he’s happy to stay rooted right here in South Carolina. “I grew up in Orangeburg, went to school in Charleston, and I’ve been sailing up here on Lake Murray since 1962,” he says of his decision to remain close to home. “Here I get to design it, I get to build it and then go see if it will fly.” —HASTINGS HENSEL

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

and executing man-overboard drills. “Sail toward the island,” Brian says. Or: “Sail toward that red-colored house.” Or: “Sail toward that observatory, count to 10, and then bear away.” But as we begin sailing toward these reference markers, Brian will arbitrarily change his mind. “Okay,” he says once we’ve lined up on the red-colored house. “Now I want to go back to the island.” Thus, we never really get anywhere but instead continuously circle Hollow Creek, practicing basic maneuvers and learning the checklists by heart. One of the most important maneuvers is tacking—an essential skill that involves turning the bow of the boat through the no-sail zone and trimming the sails to maintain a smooth forward momentum. I’m at the helm, with the tiller in hand, when Brian signals me to begin. “Ready to tack?” I call out, and wait for John and Susan’s answer of “Ready!” “Helm’s a-lee,” I reply, steering the tiller away from the wind. As soon as the boom of the mainsail crosses sides, I stand up, cross the tiller behind my back, and sit down on the other side of the boat—all without ever taking my eyes away from where we are headed. For their part, Susan and John perform a ballet of their own, loosening the jib lines on one side of the boat and tightening them on the other, allowing the forwardmost sail to move into position. But things don’t always go smoothly, and I am constantly amazed at how much Brian can observe that is wrong or out of place. “You’ve got a rear-end cleat,” Brian shouts when one of us is sitting on a line, preventing it from moving. “Your sail is trimmed in too tight,” he’ll say, correcting us. “Are your telltales happy? Are we really going in a straight line? Really? Well, look at the zigzag of your boat wake.” The most frequent error, however, is the problem of rushing. “Slow down and think about it. Have a plan first,” he repeats nearly a thousand times. And whenever we get comfortable for a moment, Brian will throw a new scenario into the mix—like when he tosses Sally overboard, surprising us all.

Sally makes a splash, and we yell, “ Crew overboard!” Then we toss her an imaginary throw cushion, keeping point on her as we bring the boat around in a figure-eight pattern to begin our rescue. Sally, fortunately, is not in any real danger. She is only a pair of old Clorox bottles knotted together with a rope—one empty, the

Basic keelboat certification courses offered through the American Sailing Association (ASA) or U.S. Sailing cost between $500 and $600 and include three days of classroom instruction and practical sailing. For more information, contact these South Carolina sailing schools.

Big Water Marina at Lake Hartwell 320 Big Water Road Starr, SC 29864 (864) 226-3339 bigwatermarina.com

Charleston Sailing School Charleston City Marina 17 Lockwood Drive Charleston, SC 29401 (843) 277-4236 charlestonsailingschool.com

Come for a day, a weekend, a week, or vacation here for the rest of your life! Fish for a state or world record in lakes Marion & Moultrie that cover 171,000 acres and have 450 miles of shoreline! Golf our 13 beautiful championship courses. Camp at one of the hundreds of sites along the shores of our lakes. Stroll through three breathtaking gardens. Discover our past in five museums. Visit our small towns and discover their treasures.

KINGVILLE HISTORICAL FOUNDATION FESTIVAL

1028 George Wilson Blvd., Gadsden, SC 29052

Friday Night Sept. 14, 2012 7:30pm-11:00pm

DANCING UNDER THE STARS WITH FANTASY BAND Donation $15.00

Saturday, Sept. 15, 2012 10:00am until, Featuring:

DOC MCKENZIE & THE HI-LITES

Pelham Meyers and the 5 Singing Stars • Other local Gospel groups • IBILE-Afrikan Drummers & Dancers • Talent Show • Darren G’s Band • The Educators Band • Historical Tours Activities for the kids Vendors will be available

Call or email us today for information on vacationing in Santee Cooper Country, S.C. (803)854-2131 email: tourscc@oburg.net www.santeecoopercountry.org

FOR MORE INFO:

803-920-4983

NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION

Berkeley, Calhoun, Clarendon, Orangeburg & Sumter counties.

Lanier Sailing Academy at Lake Murray Southshore Marina, 3072 Hwy 378 Leesville, SC 29070 (803) 317-9070 laniersail.com/columbia.htm

On Deck Charleston

COUPON

Basic keelboat certification is the first step to even more sailing adventure.

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scliving.coop | September 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

T H E FA L L T R AV E L G U I D E

Learning the ropes

Santee Cooper Country

3RD ANNUAL

Sailing away

we sail long enough and far enough for me other filled with lake rocks. But we pro to get caught up in a series of daydreams: ceed as if she were one of us, repeating the extended island trips, sunset cruises— drill so many times that I begin to resent her clumsiness. perhaps even living in a sailboat along Indeed, there is a part of me that simply the coast. But these daydreams only last wants to let the wind take me down the so long. Soon enough, Sally is overboard lake (“to turn the air-conditioning on,” as again, and we scramble to complete our they say) and not have to try a new tactic. I figure-eight and rescue her one more time. simply want to cruise. “Sailors have different heads,” Brian tells me. “And they put them on at different times—different attitudes to sailing. You’ve call it the competitive streak—that wants got your racing head and your cruising to wear the racing head. head. And if you do what I do for a living, “Anybody can get out there and sail a an instructing head.” sailboat,” says Hootie Bushardt, the affable In competition, the mad dash to For the final sailing session of the president of the Lake Murray Yacht Racing be the first around each marker course, I am paired up with Jonathan Association (LMYRA). “The question is: buoy requires all sailors to be Welsh and Diana Ward, a married couple can you make it sail efficiently?” wearing their racing heads. from Greenville, who want to learn how So two days after I make a 94 on the to sail so they can cruise the British Virgin Islands. written test and Brian signs off on my Keelboat Sailing 101 It is a day of storm clouds and threatening rain, but it certification, Hootie sets me up with Roger Dougal, a prois also the first day with any significant wind. Sensing our fessor of electrical engineering at the University of South desire to wear our cruising heads, Brian lets us sail in one Carolina, who agrees to let me crew on his boat for an direction a little longer than normal between drills. In fact, evening LMYRA race.

Yet there is also that part of me—

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

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scliving.coop | September 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

Sailing away

The Commodore

Jan Jernigan and the need for speed

As a vice president at Morgan Stanley in Columbia, Jan Jernigan spends her workdays helping clients plan their financial futures. But on most weekends, the second-ever female commodore of the Lake Murray Yacht Racing Association (LMYRA) can be found on the water—either competing in, or officiating, sailboat races. She began sailing 10 years ago when she took an all-female sailing clinic at the Columbia Sailing Club, fell in love with the sport and bought her first boat. Today, one of Jernigan’s priorities is to get more women interested in competitive sailing. “There are more and more women getting involved. There are some really good women sailors,” she says. Jernigan is certainly one of them, but she can remember a time when she wasn’t. “When I first started racing, there were times when they were pulling the buoys up and we were the last boat out there,” she says. “So, believe me, every trophy I get now means something. I took a lot of time to learn how to win a race.” A member of the Columbia Sailing Club, Jernigan was the driving force behind the group’s successful bid to host U.S. Sailing’s 2013 Championship of Champions. The prestigious race, featuring 20 of the world’s top sailors, is expected to draw sailing celebrities and international attention to Lake Murray. The three-day event is scheduled for the fall of 2013, though the exact date is yet to be determined. “The winner will be awarded the Jack Brown Perpetual Trophy, one of the most prestigious trophies in sailing,” Jernigan says. “It’s going to be a big deal on our own Lake Murray, one of the true gems of South Carolina.” —HASTINGS HENSEL

For information on the Championship of Champions, visit columbiasailingclub.org.

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When I arrive at the Columbia Sailing Club one Saturday evening in mid-July, Roger introduces me to his crew: his wife Jodi Petersen, Sydney McIver and Devin Shanks—all experienced sailors. The boat is called Tutakrnaut Too (a cryptic sailing/Hamlet reference: “to tack or not”), and it is a J/24, a world-class racing boat, intricately different from the Capri 22. For starters, it is two feet longer but has a smaller cockpit, only one jib sheet, and we will be using a spinnaker sail—something they didn’t cover in my basic course. As we sail out to the start line, where the race officials are s tationed aboard a pontoon boat, the crew acquaints me with the boat and my position on it. I will mainly be ballast—which means that I will help stabilize the boat by sitting on the windward side—but this requires me to quickly scoot and crawl across the cockpit whenever we tack, settling in on the other side of the boat with my feet dangling overboard. As we circle the start area, switching between the spinnaker and the jib, Roger tells me that this will be a pursuit-start race, in which each boat will begin at a certain time based on its rating. As one of the faster boats, we will begin our race nearly eight minutes after the start horn.

Roger Dougal and crew, with the help of a full spinnaker, speed the Tutakrnaut Too toward the finish.

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scliving.coop | September 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

T H E FA L L T R AV E L G U I D E

BACK ROAD TO AIKEN COUNTY

Sailing away

Lake Murray Sailing Clubs Columbia Sailing Club

292 Shuler Road Columbia, SC 29212 (803) 781-4518 columbiasailingclub.org Founded in 1957, the Columbia Sailing Club is the oldest and most established club on the lake and hosts the popular Outback Cup Regatta in the fall and the Easter Regatta in the spring.

Happy Sails Club

Southshore Marina 3072 Hwy. 378 Leesville, SC 29070 (803) 317-9070 laniersail.com/columbia.htm The Happy Sails Club is a part of the Lanier Sailing Academy at Lake Murray and offers one of the best deals on the lake. For a one-time initiation fee of $750 ($500 for recent LSA graduates) and a monthly fee of $99, members can enjoy access to three sailboats, and participate in club activities.

Lake Murray Sailing Club

235 Old Forge Road Chapin, SC 29036 (803) 345-0073 lmsc.org/contact-us A private sailing club in Chapin, LMSC hosts clinics, classes, races and several regattas: The San Juan 21 North American Championship, the Flying Scot Master’s National Championship, the Mallory Cup Quarter Finals and the Flying Scot Carolinas District Championship.

Lake Murray Yacht Racing Association

lmyra.org LMYRA started as a group of sailors who wanted to promote good racing on Lake Murray. It has representatives from every yacht club and sponsors races in the spring, summer and fall.

Windward Point Yacht Club

164 Mystic Court  Irmo, SC 29212  (803) 781-2285 windwardpointyc.org/wordpress Windward Point Yacht Club has been around since 1985 and promotes itself as “a fleet of sailors who take sailing seriously, but not ourselves.” Like the other sailing clubs, it hosts clinics, classes, races,and cruising trips, but you are more likely to find events with titles such as the “Luau and Beer Can Race.” 32

“But we want to be going as fast as we can when we cross the start line,” he says. “So get ready.” In the meantime, we scout the serious competition among the 13 boats on the water—two other J/24s and a San Juan 21. Roger and Devin plot out their course based on the wind, drawing imaginary lines with their fingers on the cockpit, as they decide when and where they want to have a certain sail position. And then we are off, sailing as fast as we can towards the first marker buoy on the four-mile course. Even with the strong wind and relatively fast speeds, the race still requires chess-like strategy. We are constantly trying to find pockets of wind on the water, deciding when to tack, and judging our position in relation to the other boats. When we do tack, Roger turns the boat, the jib sail snaps, the boom crosses the cockpit. I scramble, trying to stay out of the way, as Devin, Jodi and Sydney all perform their assigned tasks in a choreographed routine so quick that as we round the first mark and hoist the spinnaker for a downwind sail, we take a lead that we will never relinquish. The crew’s experience and discipline put us ahead for good. So much so, in fact, that Roger cracks open a beer three minutes before the end of the race and lets me control the spinnaker as we cross the finish line.

Afterward, as the sun is setting and the wind is dying down and the dark Lake Murray night is coming on, we sail back to the dock slowly with the spinnaker. Roger has taken off his racing head and put on his instructing head, showing me the finer points of handling the oversized sail, but I, for one, have put on the cruising head at last, enjoying our unhurried pace beneath the first stars.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

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scliving.coop | September 2012 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

Calendar of Events Please confirm information before attending events. For entry guidelines, go to SCLiving.coop.

UPSTATE

SEPTEMBER

13–15 • Rudy’s Bluegrass in the Woods, 110 Smith Motors Rd., Belton. (864) 356-3444. 15 • McCormick Gold Rush Festival, downtown, McCormick. (864) 852-2835. 15 • South Greenville Fair Antique Engine and Tractor Show, City Park, Simpsonville. (864) 430-1412. 15 • Pianist Dan Franklin Smith, Community Performance Center, Rock Hill. (803) 328-2787. 20–23 • Euphoria, various venues, Greenville. (864) 233-5663. 21–22 • Festival of Quilts, Shaver Recreation Center, Seneca. (864) 710-3429. 21–23 • South Carolina Campground Cookoff, Calhoun Falls State Park, Calhoun Falls. (866) 354-0003. 21–23 • AutumnFest at the Market, Greenville State Farmers Market, Greenville. (803) 734-2210. 22 • Jonesville Town Festival, Main Street, Jonesville. (864) 426-6317. 22 • Founders Day Music Festival, Main Street, Pickens. (864) 878-0105. 22 • Show Your Wheels at Midway Car Show, 1579 Overbrook Dr., Gaffney. (864) 489-7043. 22 • Rabon Creek Farm Fair, The Farm at Rabon Creek, Fountain Inn. (864) 380-6910. 22–23 • Art in the Park, Main Street, Greenville. (864) 735-8823. 29 • The Enchanted Chalice Renaissance Faire, Greenville Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, Greenville. (864) 271-4883. 29 • Birchwood Arts & Crafts Show, Table Rock Wesleyan Camp & Retreat Center, Pickens. (864) 878-9269. 29 • Harvest Day, downtown, Inman. (864) 472-3654. 29–30 • Summer’s Last Kiss — An Affair with the Arts, town square, Hiawassee, Ga. (706) 896-4966. OCTOBER

2–6 • Carolina Foothills Heritage Fair, 1220 Highway 59, Fair Play. (864) 903-2764. 3–6 • “The Hungry Woman: A Mexican Medea,” Johnson Theatre, Winthrop University, Rock Hill. (803) 323-4014.

3–13 • Eastern Carolina Agricultural Fair, 5226 E. Palmetto St., Florence. (888) 665-5173. 4–6 • Blues & Jazz Festival, various venues, York and Rock Hill. (803) 328-2787. 4–6 • Moonshiners Reunion and Mountain Music Festival, Plum Hollow Farm, Spartanburg. (864) 680-0225. 5–6 • Squealin’ on the Square, downtown, Laurens. (864) 984-2119. 5–7 • Greenville Symphony Guild Tour of Homes, Cleveland Park, Greenville. (864) 370-0965. 6 • Aunt Het Family Fall Festival, downtown, Fountain Inn. (864) 862-2586. 6 • Belton Standpipe Heritage & Arts Festival, downtown, Belton. (864) 226-8799. 6 • Click646, various venues, Greenwood. (864) 227-1188. 6 • Greer Station Oktoberfest, downtown, Greer. (864) 877-3131. 6 • Night before Kings Mountain, Cowpens National Battlefield, Gaffney. (864) 461-2828. 8–14 • Piedmont Interstate Fair, 575 Fairgrounds Rd., Spartanburg. (864) 582-7042. 13 • Pumpkin Festival, Oolenoy Community House, Pumpkintown. (864) 898-0261. 14–18 • Starburst Storytellers’ Festival, Anderson County Library, Anderson. (864) 260-4500. ONGOING

Daily • Trail Riding, Croft State Natural Area, Spartanburg. (864) 585-1283. Daily through Oct. 28, except Sept. 17–19 • Oktoberfest, Festhalle, Helen, Ga. (706) 878-1908. Saturdays through Nov. 3 • Mac-Dufus Dinner Theater Variety Show, Pumpkintown Mountain Opry, Pickens. (864) 836-8141. Second Saturdays • Music on the Mountain Bluegrass Jams, Table Rock State Park, Pickens. (864) 878-9813. Third Saturdays through September • Youth Fishing Days at Buck Shoals, Smithgall Woods State Park, Helen, Ga. (706) 878-3087. Weekends through early November • Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch, Little Cane Creek Farms, Walhalla. (864) 903-1074.

MIDLANDS SEPTEMBER

13–16 • Columbia’s Greek Festival, corner of Sumter and Calhoun streets, Columbia. (803) 461-0248. 14–15 • Lee County Cotton Festival, ballpark, Bishopville. (803) 484-5145. 15 • Palmetto Aeroplane Classic, Woodward Field, Camden. (803) 420-8214. 15 • Bike with a Park Ranger, Lee State Park, Bishopville. (803) 428-4988. 15 • Animal Enrichment Day, Riverbanks Zoo & Garden, Columbia. (803) 978-1113. 15–16 and 21–22 • “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels,” URS Center for Performing Arts, Aiken. (803) 648-1438. 20 • Sumter Green Fall Feast, Nettles Auditorium, USC Sumter. (803) 436-2640. 25–30 • Sumter County Fair, Artillery Drive, Sumter. (803) 775-5200. 28 • ZOOfari, Riverbanks Zoo & Garden, Columbia. (803) 779-8717. 28–29 • Irmo Okra Strut Festival, Irmo Town Park, Irmo. (803) 661-1049. 28–30 • Raylrode Daze Festivul, downtown, Branchville. (803) 274-8831. 29 • Italian Festival & Bocce Tournament, Main Street, Columbia. (803) 772-0164. 29 • Viva La Vista, The Vista, Columbia. (803) 269-5946. OCTOBER

4 • Porches of Sumter: Simply Delicious, Memorial Park, Sumter. (803) 775-1231. 4–6 • Carolina Downhome Blues Festival, various venues, Camden. (803) 425-7676. 5–6 • Rock Around the Clock Festival, Congress Street, downtown, Winnsboro. (803) 635-4242. 6 • Farmville, EdVenture Children’s Museum, Columbia. (803) 779-3100. 6 • Congaree Bluegrass Festival, Granby Gardens Park, Cayce. (803) 796-9020. 6 • Carolina Fest Amateur Antique Road Show, Chesterfield Visitors Center, Chesterfield. (843) 634-6447. 10–21 • South Carolina State Fair, fairgrounds, Columbia. (888) 444-3247. 12–14 • Oktoberfest, Incarnation Lutheran Church, Columbia. (803) 256-2381.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

13 • Beyond the Gravestone, Redcliffe Plantation State Historic Site, Beech Island. (803) 827-1473. 13 • Jefferson Blue Jay Festival, 223 N. Main St., Jefferson. (843) 658-7600. ONGOING

Daily • Trail Riding, Kings Mountain State Park, Blacksburg. (803) 222-3209. Daily • Trail Riding, Lee State Park, Bishopville. (803) 428-5307. Daily • Trail Riding, Poinsett State Park, Wedgefield. (803) 494-8177. Daily, except Mondays • Living History Days, Historic Brattonsville, McConnells. (803) 684-2327. Daily, except Mondays and major holidays • Historic Camden Revolutionary War Site, Camden. (803) 432-9841. Daily, through Oct. 6 • Blooming Butterflies, EdVenture Children’s Museum, Columbia. (803) 779-3100. Mondays through May • Homeschool Mondays, Riverbanks Zoo & Garden, Columbia. (803) 978-1113. Second Tuesdays • Family Night $1 Admission, EdVenture Children’s Museum, Columbia. (803) 779-3100. Fourth Thursdays • Tales for Tots, EdVenture Children’s Museum, Columbia. (803) 779-3100. Saturdays • Behind-theScenes Adventure Tours, Riverbanks Zoo & Garden, Columbia. (803) 978-1113. Second Saturdays • Children’s Art Program, Sumter County Gallery of Art, Sumter. (803) 775-0543. Saturdays and Sundays • Gallery Tour, Columbia Museum of Art, Columbia. (803) 799-2810. Sundays • Sunday Brunch & Jazz Series, Senate’s End, Columbia. (803) 748-4144. Daily, by appointment • Overnights and Night Howls, Riverbanks Zoo & Garden, Columbia. (803) 779-8717, ext. 1113.

LOWCOUNTRY SEPTEMBER

13–16 • Mozart in the South, various venues, Charleston. (843) 763-4941. 14–16 • Yemassee Shrimp Festival, downtown, Yemassee. (843) 589-2120.

14–23 • SOS Fall Migration, various venues, North Myrtle Beach. (888) 767-3113. 15 • Aynor Harvest Hoe-Down, downtown, Aynor. (843) 358-1074. 15 • Charleston Scottish Games & Highland Gathering, Boone Hall Plantation, Mt. Pleasant. (843) 884-4371. 15 • Coastal Island Horse Show, Mullet Hall Equestrian Center, Johns Island. (843) 768-5867. 22 • Street Music with the Kruger Brothers, Paris Avenue, Old Village, Port Royal. (843) 379-2787. 22 • Golden Leaf Festival, Smith Haven Park, Mullins. (843) 464-9583. 22 • Italian Festival, Shelter Cove Park, Hilton Head. (843) 682-4625. 27–Oct. 14 • Pawleys Island Festival of Music & Art, various venues, Pawleys Island. (843) 626-8911. 27–Oct. 28 • Fall Tours of Homes and Gardens, historic district, Charleston. (843) 722-4630. 28–30 • Atalaya Arts & Crafts Festival, Huntington Beach State Park, Murrells Inlet. (843) 237-4440. 29 • Irish Italian International Festival, Main Street, North Myrtle Beach. (843) 280-5570. 30 • Taste of Charleston, Boone Hall Plantation, Mount Pleasant. (843) 577-4030. OCTOBER

4–6 • South Carolina State H.O.G. Rally, Ocean Drive, North Myrtle Beach. (864) 214-6472. 6 • Pier Tournament, Folly Beach Fishing Pier, Folly Beach. (843) 762-9946. 6 • Old South Day, Browntown Museum, Lake City. (843) 389-0399. 6 • Conway Fall Festival, downtown, Conway. (843) 248-1740. 7 • American Music Celebration, Freshfields Village Green, Kiawah Island. (843) 762-9125. 7 • Scrumptious Summerville Kitchen Tour, Summerville. (843) 875-1551. 7 • Latin American Festival, Wannamaker County Park, North Charleston. (843) 795-4386. 9 • Taste of the Town, Myrtle Beach Area Convention Center, Myrtle Beach. (843) 448-6062.

9 • From the Garden to the Kitchen: Incorporating Edible Plants in the Landscape, Brookgreen Gardens, Murrells Inlet. (800) 849-1931. 13 • Blackwater Ukulele Festival, Cypress Gardens, Moncks Corner. (843) 853-5374. 13 • Chili Cookoff, Coastal Discovery Center at Honey Horn, Hilton Head. Hiltonheadkiwanis.com 13 • Goose Creek Fall Festival, downtown, Goose Creek. (888) 500-0089, ext. 104. 13 • S.C. Sweet Potato Festival, downtown, Darlington. (843) 393-6129. 13–14 • Charleston Green Fair, Marion Square Park, Charleston. (843) 513-2655. 13–14 • Little River ShrimpFest, waterfront, Little River. (843) 249-6604. 14–21 • Historic Bluffton Arts & Seafood Festival, various venues, Bluffton. (843) 757-2583. ONGOING

Daily • Trail Riding, Cheraw State Park, Cheraw. (843) 537-9656. Daily, except major holidays • Parris Island Museum, Beaufort. (843) 228-2166. Daily • Nature Center, Hunting Island State Park, Hunting Island. (843) 838-7437. Daily, except Christmas • Self-guided Colonial Tours, Charles Towne Landing State Historic Site, Charleston. (843) 852-4205. Daily, through Oct. 28 • National Sculpture Society Annual Awards Exhibition, Brookgreen Gardens, Murrells Inlet. (800) 849-1931. Exhibition, through Oct. 31 • God Bless America from Candace Lovely, ARTworks, Beaufort. (843) 379-2787. Tuesdays, through Oct. 16 • Mount Pleasant Farmers Market, Coleman Boulevard, Mount Pleasant. (843) 884-8517. Fridays through Dec. 8 • Hilton Head Farmers Market, Historic Honey Horn, Hilton Head Island. (843) 785-2767. Saturdays through October • Lawn Mower Racing, MCK/Cyclone Speedway, Bennettsville. (910) 334-6638.

SCHumorMe

By Jan A. Igoe

With braces for all If you happen to

be a dentist, you may want to quit reading and go find some teeth to drill. While this column is not meant to offend any member of the dental profession—particularly those who stick sharp objects in my gums twice a year—I occasionally wonder if the entire tooth-growing population really needs braces as much as you guys need yachts. I’m certainly not implying that every mammal’s bite couldn’t be improved, but when your grand mother’s dentures need braces, I tend to worry. And at this point, if your kid isn’t a metal mouth by kindergarten, the next knock on your door might be social services. My daughter’s orthodontic journey began in second grade, when our dentist gave me two options: Pay by credit card or check. “Your child’s teeth have outgrown her mouth,” he said. “You can change her name to Beaver or give me $4,000.” He had a point. My daughter was starting to look like the shark from Jaws, only she had more teeth. Rather than remove some, the dentist decided to expand her palate with a Frankel device—a wire contraption that was several times the size of her head. The device was the exact same one used to torture heretics in the Middle

Ages, except heretics wore theirs outside their heads, which was probably much more comfortable. I was wondering how they planned to cram this Frankel-stein thing into my daughter’s tiny mouth when the dental team moved in with crowbars. Panic flooded her eyes, but before she could scream, the thing disappeared behind her lips, contorting her cheeks into bowling balls. Her teeth were now behind bars, completely imprisoned by wire. My beautiful, intelligent child was grunting foreign syllables and drooling on herself. Then the dentist gave me the bad news: “She’ll have to take it out to eat.” I politely asked if we could leave it in and just feed her intravenously, but he’d already left to count his money. I wasn’t being cruel. I’d gladly stand up in any PTO meeting and admit to being the biological mother of a snaggle-toothed, slobbering heretic, but if any child ever needed braces permanently jackhammered into her head, it was my daughter. That first night, the Frankel thing

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | September 2012 | scliving.coop

must have triggered her gag reflex, launching the oral invader airborne. Across her bedroom, our grateful dog was waiting to snap it up like a slimy, flying liver treat from heaven. Daytime was worse. As predicted, she forgot the droolcoated contraption, leaving it on her school lunch tray for Mom to rescue. Luckily, no one was willing to touch it, even to throw it out. After a nice dinner at a Mexican restaurant, my daughter confessed that her Frankel device was on the lam again. We spent hours crawling around the restaurant floor and interrogating busboys in broken Spanish but got nowhere. The Frankel device had escaped again. For the second time that month, I handed over my credit card to an exuberant orthodontist to make another frightening Frankel thing. That’s when he told me she’d still need $8,000 in braces later on, even if this one managed to stay in her mouth. Of course, it didn’t. A zillion dollars later, my daughter does have one of the most beautiful smiles around. But the dog’s teeth are straighter. Jan A. Igoe ,

a writer with no medical credentials, hopes her dentist will forget this column before her next checkup. Share your thoughts at HumorMe@SCLiving.com.

SCORE two tickets to the Clemson-South Carolina Football Game Saturday, November 24, 2012

with One winner will receive a flight in the Touchstone Energy Hot Air Balloon*and two tickets to the Clemson/South Carolina game. To enter, visit scliving.coop and fill out the online entry form or mail in the entry form below. Entries must be received by Nov. 7, 2012. Contest is open to any South Carolina electric cooperative member, 18 years of age or older, whose co-op belongs to The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc., the Take state association of electric cooperatives.

off, fly high and

touch down in the Touchstone Energy Hot Air Balloon

Enter To Win Contest Award Entry Form

with

Enter today by filling out and mailing this form, or visit scliving.coop to enter. Entry deadline is November 7.

*Weather permitting See complete rules at scliving.coop. Mail entry form to: Touchdowns with Touchstone Energy 808 Knox Abbott Drive, Cayce, SC 29033-3311

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