Family Matters August 2016

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Volume 7 Issue 8

Summer Adventures with NCNG Child & Youth Program

Heading to College Tutor.com for Military Families


Family Matters

August 2016 Diane Coffill State Family Programs Director diane.l.coffill.civ@mail.mil (984) 664-6324 MSG Ramona Robertson State Family Programs Specialist ramona.k.robertson.mil@mail.mil (984) 664-7005 SSG Tammy Fowler State Family Programs Assistant tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil (984) 664-6876 Lana Greer State FAC Coordinator lana.m.greer.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-1667 Alice Dean Lead Child and Youth Coordinator alice.c.dean.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6676 David Nobles Outreach Coordinator david.m.nobles.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6721 Terry Henderson Airman and Family Readiness Program Manager terry.r.henderson3.civ@mail.mil (704) 389-4949 About Family Matters Family Matters was created to provide Service Members and their Families the most up to date information and services available. If you would like to contribute to future issues, please contact SSG Tammy Fowler @ tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil

References in this newsletter to specific commercial products, processes, services or the use of any trade, firm corporation name does not constitute endorsement, recommendation or favoring by NCNG Family Programs

A Message from the Director Happy August! When did time start going so fast. My mother always told me that as you get older, time goes faster. I didn’t believe it but it’s true! It has been a hot summer so far, and according to the experts, we're not done with the hot days! So, drink plenty of fluid and take plenty of breaks in the shade if you're outside. I know that everyone is trying to cram more fun and adventure into the Summer before school starts again and we have to buckle down to a set routine, but remember to take care of yourself and your Family, as you're out and about. In this Family Matters, you will see an article about some of the adventures that we were able to provide for our National Guard youth is this year. We always look forward to having some fun with your children and teens! It's great to watch them grow and mature in fine young men and women.With school starting for many children towards the end of the month, that signals the beginning of our Teen Council meetings across the state in September. If you have a Teen who would be interested in participating with other teens in their local area, please contact Alice Dean, our Lead Child & Youth Coordinator to find out more details (her info in on the last page of this Newsletter). And with school starting, please take a look at our Facebook page, and keep in touch with your Family Assistance Center Representative for specific dates of Back-to-School events in your Region or at your Unit. Our Community Partners are working hard to be able to provide some school supplies for you again this year, but as we all know, money is tight for everyone. Operation Homefront partners with Dollar Tree, and through our partnership with them, the Units, and other Partners across the state, we will do what we can to assist you with school supplies. As "Back-to-School time" quickly approaches and everyone has to get back in the "groove", please remember that Tutor.com is still available to assist you and your children with homework. They even have a mobile APP now to help make contact and assistance even easier. See the attached Flyers for more information. Remember, we are always here to assist you, please don't hesitate to contact your local Family Assistance Center Representative if you have questions about anything in this month's Family Matters or anything else.

Diane


Table of Contents 4

Brophy Knows: Heading to College

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Tutor.Com for Military Families

8 Upcoming Family Programs Events 10 Summer Adventures with NCNG Child & Youth 12 4 Ways to Maintain Friendships this Election Cycle 14 2016 Volunteer Workshop & Youth Symposium

If you would like to submit photos or stories for future issues of Family Matters, please contact SSG Tammy Fowler at tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil


The end of Summer 2016 is rapidly drawing to a close, and with it brings a time for many Guard Families that can be both exhilarating and nerve-wracking: Freshmen leaving for college. Having been a college student <ahem> years ago, I’ve put together a list of tips for both parents and new college kids that can help ease the transition: 1.

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Use your resources. Like the Guard, Schools offer tons of resources in addition to the classes they offer. Parents and Students alike would do well to study up on the website about what all is available. Students should most definitely 5. talk frequently with their advisors, get involved in sports, join a couple clubs, use the gyms, etc. The money being paid to your institution of choice doesn’t just go to fund the classroom. Talk about career path. I, like many students, went to College with one idea about what I wanted to do as a career, and changed my mind way too many times. The 6. most successful folks tend to go to college with a career field in mind that has good prospects for jobs afterwards, stick to it, and off they go! Parents and Students should talk with the school, and do independent research about job placement rates and career success of the various programs of interest at the school. Your first year can be spent knocking out common classes and electives, so you don’t have to know exactly what you want to do during your first year, but it is incredibly important to make a decision and commit to it after that. Get money smart. If your family hasn’t started talking about money management and being smart about saving vs. spending yet, it is now absolutely imperative that you do so. Tons of students get into a lot of debt during college or find themselves struggling to make ends meet. This can often lead to disenrollment from school because short term money seems more important than the medium term completion of your degree. If a parent isn’t as money savvy as they’d like to be, this might be a great time for both parents and students to take some time to get educated together.

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class with 300 other students, doesn’t mean that you have to be a number or a face in an auditorium. You should absolutely go and introduce yourself during office hours, and make it a point to go and ask questions several times a semester. Not only will this help you potentially identify mentors, but you’ll get more honest feedback about your school work, you’ll usually do better on tests and papers (not because you’ve bribed them, but because you have a better understanding of expectations), and further you’ll get to meet some really interesting people. Talk about partying. Get real with each other on this one, Parents and Students. Talk about the dangers involved, talk about how to be responsible while still having a good time, and discuss how to not get caught up in peer pressure to do things you ought not. The primary objectives of College are Education, Career Development, and Networking. They shouldn’t be how to skate by in classes, how to play beer pong, and how to get all the digits on campus. Make friends and network. As mentioned earlier, join some intermural sports teams, join some clubs, join in study groups! This is a prime time for you as a Student to meet tons of new and interesting people. Get involved with campus affairs, play sports to stay healthy, and learn about new things in various clubs. The more engaged you are with school life, the better a time you’ll have in the long run, and the more productive you’ll be at school. Talk about nutrition. Students and Parents alike have probably heard of the freshmen 15. It is really easy to go off to college and find that suddenly you’re living on a diet of beer and pizza (not necessarily in that order). Personal health is a lifelong issue, so take some time to discuss healthy eating! Maybe you should even have some cooking lessons because cooking at home (in the dorm if possible) can not only save money, but can also be fun as a date!

Hopefully Parents and Students get a little something out of the above tips to make College one of the best times of your life! Good luck!

Engage professors. Students! Listen up! Always, always, always engage your professors. Just because you’re in a 4



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Summer Adventures With NCNG Child and Youth Program The NCNG Child and Youth Program has had a very busy and fun-filled summer! From helping your teens to learn about what to expect from college at North Carolina State University to spending a week at Child and Youth Camp with the younger ones, Summer 2016 has provided ample opportunity for us to spend time with NCNG kids from across the entire state. It has been an exciting and educational summer for both our youth and our staff. 2016 NCNG Teen Retreat In June, the NCNG Child and Youth Program hosted 32 teens at the week-long NCNG Teen Retreat: College to Career Preparation and Readiness on the campus of North Carolina State University. Part of the week focused on the admissions process to include applications, essays, financial aid, and scholarships. There were opportunities to explore different majors and the careers that coincided with each degree, some of which were very surprising. There were several guest speakers throughout the week and one of the favorites was Dr. Jones, a university professor who did a lecture on “College and

Beyond” which focused on building strong relationships. Dr. Jones emphasized that building relationships is about “personality and not personal.” Lauren, a teen who attended the camp shared Dr. Jones’ philosophy with her grandmother who shared her thoughts with us. “This statement is so important and so basic but not something Lauren would have learned from if I had said it,” stated the grandmother. She continued, “she gained so much from this experience that will serve her right now– anytime, anywhere even if she does not go to college.” The teens also learned a lot about the history and traditions of NC State while exploring campus during a scavenger hunt. From college ambassadors, they learned the importance of having a balanced college experience by getting involved with special events, clubs and other extracurricular activities. The teens got to experience this for themselves by getting creative with paint on the Free Expression Tunnel and a night out of bowling and impromptu dancing.

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Another fun treat was from the School of Agriculture and Life Science who have their own dairy farm. This dairy farm produces the famous Howling Cow Ice Cream which the teens got to enjoy every meal. We also visited the School of Engineering and the School of Textiles on the Centennial Campus. There, we were able to learn about advanced technology available at the Hunt Library as well as the Book-Bot, which will retrieve your choice of more than five million books. During the 2016 Teen retreat, our NCNG Teens established new friendships and got a head start on preparing for their college future. The days were long and there was a lot of walking but the lessons learned from week made it all worth it. We hope that the week was beneficial for the teens and gave them a glimpse of what their future may hold. Please visit our Flickr page for more photos from this event: https://www.flickr.com/ photos/143198244@n03/ albums/72157668450020784 2016 NCNG Child & Youth Camp In July, the NCNG Child and Youth Team headed outdoors and hosted the 2016 NCNG Child and Youth Camp at the Betsy Jeff Penn 4-H Center in Reidsville, NC. This year, along with the 52 youth ages (8-13), we had our first ever “Clover Bud Camp” (ages 5-7) who stayed at camp Sunday through Wednesday. Between swimming, canoeing, horseback riding and rock climbing, the youth created lasting friendships and lifelong memories.

Kristi Wagner, Child and Youth Coordinator, provided Resiliency Training for the older youth, focusing on mental agility: learning to recognize and avoid thinking traps. The “Clover Buds” participated in 7 Habits of Happy Kids by Stephen Covey in which they learned ways to be proactive instead of reactive. All of the children tried new things, and some even conquered fears on the high ropes course or taking stage at the talent show. The counselors kept the youth energized through songs, dances, and cheers throughout the long hot days and told fun ghost stories with S’mores by the campfire at night. The youth had a great time. One of our Clover Bud Campers, Vivian (age 7) commented, “I don’t want to leave camp. Can’t I stay all summer?” The week ended with a dance. Everyone got dressed in their best attire and had a blast on the dance floor. The children said goodbye on Friday afternoon and some shed some tears because they were not ready to go. The Holst family shared that their camper had a wonderful time and will definitely be back next year. Please visit our Flickr page for more pictures from this event: https://www.flickr.com/ photos/143198244@N03/ albums/72157671372993395

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4 Ways to Maintain Your Friendship this Election Cycle by MJ Boice

Courtesy of The presidential election is quickly approaching. Opposing candidates, all those ideas, all those strong opinions. Sometimes it 3. can be exciting and stimulating; other times it can be a bit much. For the most part, when we become overwhelmed with it all and have had enough, we can turn off the TV, change the radio station, walk away from the computer or put down the phone. No matter what political ideologies you subscribe to or which candidate you personally identify with, there is one aspect of the election cycle that my be a little more difficult to look away from: OUR 4. RELATIONSHIPS. Whether it’s your BFF from back home, your favorite coworker to have lunch with or even the Service Member you’re married to, you’re NOT going to agree on every issue, every candidate or every belief. This can occasionally cause strife within a relationship. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen a friendship implode or dissolve after a subject like politics enters the conversational arena. I swear it’s like a heat -seeking missile! So, does that mean that we should never ever talk about our beliefs, political or otherwise, with the people we know and care about? OF COURSE NOT! The issue isn’t WHAT we talk about, but HOW we talk about it. Here are a few suggestions that might help keep your partner-in-crime (co-worker, spouse, sister-from-another-mister) from becoming your sparring partner: 1.

2.

friend’s intention at all. Just try to think about where the other person is coming from. Find your common ground. Even though we come from all sorts of backgrounds, there are still those key issues that impact us all– yet we STILL have to respect the opinions and beliefs of others. When we find ourselves moving toward the point of no return in a political discussion, let’s make a pact to consciously move the discussion from “Me against You” to US against the WORLD”. Walk AWAY. Let me clarify. If we’re in a slowly-gettingheated debate and our BFF is in the middle of throwing down their pundit skills, we should NOT turn on our heels and start “chuckin’ up the deuces” in order to avoid further damage. What I AM saying is that if we are fairly certain about our reactions to certain topics, then let’s walk away from the mere idea of said topic. For example, I have these two mil-friends who have known each other for a little under two decades. One of them is very vocal with her political opinions and beliefs and the other stands more on the “hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil” side of things. Every single election cycle, they unfriend one another on social media and the subject of politics is completely off limits when they hang out. Once the election is over, they re-add each other and all is good. This is a conscious choice that they have both worked out, because they know each other (and themselves) THAT well. After nearly 2 decades of friendship, deployments, holidays, babies and the loss of family and friends, their relationship will not play second fiddle to controversial topics. This is how we should all agree to disagree.

Try to understand where they are coming from. We’ve all heard this one before, but let’s take it a step further and actually consider where they literally came from. One of the best parts of living the military life is getting to meet, know and love people from all walks of life. All of those things make them interesting to us are also those things that have been shaped by where they’ve been, what These are just a few suggestions they’ve done and how they were raised. based on my own experiences, but there are all sorts of ways to Try not to take it personally. This one is difficult, I realize preserve our relationships through that. So let’s just flip the script. If the conversation starts to good times and bad. take on a combative tone, let’s ask ourselves why. Our beliefs make up a significant part of who we are at our core. It’s possible that we might feel as if our very identity is being questioned or attacked, when that wasn’t our

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Family Assistance Centers

Statewide Support

Charlotte Unit Family Contact Center 4240 West Blvd. 28208 Carry Bandy: carry.s.bandy.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4573 Anthony Moore: anthony.r.moore8.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4547

NCNG Service Members and Families’ First Line of Defense Call 1-855-322-3848

East Flat Rock Unit Family Contact Center 2025 Spartanburg Hwy. 28726 Rebekah Torres: rebekah.s.torres.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-0565 Military OneSource Here to help you with just about any need, by phone or online. The service is completely private and confidential with few exceptions. www.militaryonesource.mil 1-800-342-9647

Greensboro State Family Assistance Center 110 Franklin Blvd. 27401 Vacant (984) 661-5649 Greenville State Family Assistance Center 1401 N. Memorial Dr. 27834 David Kovach: david.p.kovach2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-1150 Lenoir State Family Assistance Center 1535 Beecher Anderson Rd. 28645 Frances Johnson: frances.r.johnson28.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-1242 Morrisville Unit Family Contact Center 2050 National Guard Dr. Mark Woolbright: mark.l.woolbright.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-6377 Raleigh Unit Family Contact Center 1636 Gold Star Dr. 27607 Wendi Bell: wendi.h.bell.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6078 Lisa Faison: lisa.m.faison.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-7100 Smithfield Unit Family Contact Center 406 Hospital Rd. 27577 Abby Millsap: abigail.e.millsap.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-2784

Family Readiness Support Services 130th MEB Nikkie Newsome genesia.k.newsome.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4548

449th TAB George Lane george.w.lane2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-6313

30th ABCT/139th REG Jacqueline Connell jacqueline.a.connell.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5136

JFHQ/60th TC Norman Dean norman.g.dean2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6537

30th ABCT Gerald Murray gerald.t.murray.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5423

FRSS Trainer Gloria Fields gloria.d.fields.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5620

113th SUS BDE Vacant 984-661-5651

Southern Pines Unit Family Contact Center 510 Morganton Rd. 28387 Earlene Buchan edna.e.buchan.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-2683 Wilmington Unit Family Contact Center 2412 Infantry Rd. 28405 Jim Marley: james.e.marley.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-6918 Winston-Salem Unit Family Contact Center 2000 Silas Creek Pkwy. 27103 Sandy Harrison: sandra.b.harrison2.ctr@mail.mil (984)-661-7131

@ncngfamilyprograms

@ncngfamily

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