Family Matters Volume 7 Issue 10 October 2016
Family Matters
October 2016 Diane Coffill State Family Programs Director diane.l.coffill.civ@mail.mil (984) 664-6324 MSG Ramona Robertson State Family Programs Specialist ramona.k.robertson.mil@mail.mil (984) 664-7005 SSG Tammy Fowler State Family Programs Assistant tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil (984) 664-6876 Lana Greer State FAC Coordinator lana.m.greer.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-1667 Alice Dean Lead Child and Youth Coordinator alice.c.dean.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6676 David Nobles Outreach Coordinator david.m.nobles.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6721 Terry Henderson Airman and Family Readiness Program Manager terry.r.henderson3.civ@mail.mil (704) 389-4949 About Family Matters Family Matters was created to provide Service Members and their Families the most up to date information and services available. If you would like to contribute to future issues, please contact SSG Tammy Fowler @ tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil
References in this newsletter to specific commercial products, processes, services or the use of any trade, firm corporation name does not constitute endorsement, recommendation or favoring by NCNG Family Programs
A Message from the Director Happy Fall Ya'll! We finally made it to Fall and the temperatures are dropping nicely! While we all remember that Halloween is in October, I'm sure that some of us don't realize that October is also Domestic Violence Awareness month. I know that I didn't remember that... until now.
You will see a flyer, and some great information about How to End an Abusive Relationship from Military OneSource. In addition, please remember that we have a great resource, SFC Kristian Hall. He has worked across the state coordinating Domestic Abuse Resources for our Service Members and Families. If you need to get in touch with him or are looking for a resource, you can contact a Family Assistance Center Representative, contact IBHS at 855-3223848 (24/7/365) or Military OneSource at 800-342-9647 (24/7/365). It’s October and that means Halloween is coming up so there is an article about 15 Fascinating Halloween Facts You Didn't know, and Halloween Safety Tips to keep our children SAFE while they are having FUN on Halloween. All parents need a "short break" sometime, so we've included an article about Setting Social Media Boundaries with Babysitters. We know we need to talk with our children about social media, but who would have thought about also talking with our babysitters regarding social media while they are caring for our children? We have included an article from Parents.com about this very thing.
We have a couple of great fall events coming up, both for Halloween and Post-Halloween. Please take a look at them. I hope you enjoy the cooler weather. Remember that we're always here for you, so don't hesitate to contact us. Enjoy FALL !!
Diane
Table of Contents
4 15 Fascinating Halloween Facts You Didn’t Know
6 Halloween Safety Tips 7 BOO Bash 8 Domestic Violence Awareness Month 9 How to End an Abusive Relationship
10 Setting Social Media Boundaries with Babysitters 12 Upcoming Teen Council Events 14 Our Military Kids 17 KOG: 2016 Pumpkin Smashing Palooza If you would like to submit photos or stories for future issues of Family Matters, please contact SSG Tammy Fowler at tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil On the cover: Lincoln Smith (3 months) Son of SFC April Smith JFHQ
15 Fascinating Halloween Facts You Didn’t Know Discover sweet, scary and downright surprising trivia about the spookiest holiday.
1. Supersized. No matter how scary your local haunted house is, it probably can't top the Haunted Cave in Lewisburg, Ohio. Measuring 3,564 feet long, the Guinness World Records has named it the world's longest haunted house. Even spookier: It's located 80 feet below ground in an abandoned mine.
Federation, party-goers spent an estimated $2.8 billion on costumes overall.
4. Feeling Corny. Since its invention in 1898, by the Herman Goelitz Confectionary Company of California (now known as Jelly Belly Candy Company), candy corn has been wildly popular— so much so that today, nearly 35 million pounds of candy corn are produced each year.
2. Great Gourds. Halloween 5. Money Bags. From its vampy costumes wouldn’t be the and sweet treats to macabre household same without decorations, Halloween is big business. So pumpkins, and big, in fact, that it’s the second-largest thankfully, there are commercial holiday in America— only plenty of gourds to go around. According Christmas surpasses it in sales. According to the United States Department of to the National Retail Federation, Agriculture’s National Agricultural Statistics consumers spent $5.8 billion on Halloween Service, 2014, the top pumpkin-producing 2010, and by 2015, that states— Illinois, California, Ohio, New York, figure jumped to nearly Pennsylvania, and Michigan— produced $7 billion. 1.31billion pounds of pumpkins. 6. Heart in Hand. In 1950, 3. The Kids are Alright. In 2013, the U.S. Philadelphia-based trickCensus Bureau estimated there was 41 or-treaters traded in a sweet tooth for a million trick-or-treaters ages 5-14 in sweet action. In lieu of candy, residents America. Parents spent collected change for children overseas an estimated $1 billion and sent it to UNICEF. Subsequently, the on children’s costumes. Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF program was By 2014, that number born. nearly tripled. According to the National Retail 4
7. The Illusionist. A working magician from may be ghoulish, the sentiment is sweet— the age of 17, Harry Houdini (née Ehrich according to Hallmark, Halloween ranks Weisz) became America's favorite as the sixth most popular card-giving magician and a world-renown legend for holiday, with 20 million cards sent each his daring escapes. It was only fitting, year. Christmas comes in first place, with a then, for this master trickster to die on whopping 1.5 billion cards sent each year. October 31, 1926—from a ruptured 12. No Teen Spirit. In 2010, Belleville, Illinois, appendix. became the latest city to ban trick-or8. Circle of Wagons. Due to treating for kids over 12. Teens can face safety concerns, trunk-orfines from $100 to $1,000 for going door-to treating was introduced in -door (although according to officials, 2000 as an alternative to more often than not, over-age Halloween hitting the pavement for candy on -goers are just given a warning). Halloween night. Cars are parked in a 13. The Golden Touch. Halloween candy circle at a school church or parking lot, coffers wouldn’t be the same without with event-goers decorating their open California. Why? Because according to trunks and dressing in costume in order to the U.S. Census Bureau, the Golden State hand out treats. leads the nation in nonchocolate 9. Dressed to Thrill. Americans are more ready than ever to get into the Halloween spirit. According to the National Retail Federation, 64% celebrated the holiday in 2015, and they spent an average of $74.34 per (adult) person on candy, costumes, and decor.
confectionary production. Out of the 409 sites that manufacture nonchocolate confections in the U.S., California is home to 45 of them. 14. Rock On. It was just tricks—no treats—for Charlie Brown in It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. In the 1966 TV special, he utters, "I got a rock," while trick-or-treating. The phrase went on to become one of the most famous lines in Peanuts history.
10. Sweet Spot. Valentine's Day is no longer the sweetest national holiday—at least when it comes to candy sales. 15. Hold Tight. Got leftover Halloween More than twice as candy? Save it for later! Dark and milk much chocolate is sold for Halloween as chocolates can last up to two years if for Valentine's Day; 90 million pounds of stored in a dry, odor-free spot. Hard chocolate are sold during Halloween candy can last up to a year, while week alone. In total, $1.9 billion is spent on unopened packages of candy corn can Halloween candy each year. last nine months. 11. Dear Mr. Postman. Although the cards Article courtesy of Woman’s Day-www.womansday.com 5
Halloween Safety Tips
Plan your route and share it with your family. If possible, have an adult go with you.
Wear light-colored or reflectivetype clothing so you are more visible. (and remember to put reflective tape on bikes, skateboards, and brooms too!)
Use face paint rather than masks or things that will cover your eyes.
Cross the street only at corners.
Look both ways before crossing the street to check for cars, trucks, and low-flying brooms.
Don’t hide or cross the street between parked cars.
Walk, slither and sneak on sidewalks; not in the streets.
Carry a flashlight to light your way.
Only visit homes that have the porch light on.
Use a light stick instead of a wick! Candles used in pumpkins are a fire hazard. (Also, keep in mind that costumes can be extremely flammable.)
Accept your treats at the door and never go into a stranger’s house.
Be cautious of strangers and animals.
Have a grown-up inspect your treats before eating. And don’t’ eat candy if the package is already opened. Small, hard pieces of candy are a choking hazard for young children.
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How to End an Abusive Relationship It’s never easy to end a relationship. But the decision is even harder and more complicated when your partner is hurting you either physically or emotionally. Abuse can shake your confidence and sense of self like nothing else can.
fund of cash in case you won't have access to your shared accounts, or open a new account in your name only.
Even in the darkest times, it’s important to remember that no one deserves to be abused, ever. If you’re feeling afraid, trapped and hopeless, know that you’re not alone. A fresh start is possible if you want to end your relationship, and there are people who will help you find it — confidentially, safely and at your own pace. Whatever you decide, you deserve to understand your options and, above all, keep yourself safe. Here are a few tips and resources for creating a safety plan to help you make a fresh start:
Connect with a domestic abuse victim advocate. The Family Advocacy Program office on your installation can put you in touch with a victim advocate, or you can find a victim advocate in your civilian community. Ask about your options for reporting domestic abuse and how to find a safe place to go. You can remain anonymous if you aren't quite ready to share your story. Talk with a trusted friend or relative. Find someone you can trust, and establish a code word or signal so they'll know if and when they need to call for help. You can also stash a change of clothing for yourself and your children at your friend's house, along with anything else you might need to make a quick exit. Gather important documents. Keep important documents like birth certificates, health insurance cards, checkbook, important phone numbers and addresses, and your driver's license in one place for easy access. Save some money. Save a secret
Talk with your children. Make sure your children know how and when to call 911, if necessary. Pick a safe place they can go if they need to escape quickly, like a neighbor's house. Depending on your child's age, you may or may not want to discuss your plans to leave. Find a safe place to go. Ideally, your safe place will be somewhere your abuser can't find you. A domestic abuse victim advocate can talk with you about shelters or other local places that provide a safe haven. Get a restraining order or military protective order. This will make it illegal for your abuser to enter your home or workplace, or to contact your children. You can also give a copy to your children's school or child care providers so they'll know who does and doesn't have permission to pick up your children. Save documentation. The more documentation you have, the stronger the case against your abuser will be if you decide to take legal action. Save any threatening messages or emails, and take pictures of any physical injuries you might have.
You deserve to feel safe, loved and protected — and know that you're not alone. There are resources available to help you if you're ready to end an abusive relationship.
Article courtesy of Military OneSource. For more information, visit www.militaryonesource.mil
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Setting Social Media Boundaries with Babysitters: What Parents Need to Know Leaving a list of emergency contacts for your kid’s babysitter isn’t enough these days. Now, protecting your kids includes setting boundaries for your sitter’s social media use on the job. By Melissa Willets
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tlanta, Georgia mom. Lorrie Thomas Ross never thought much about how her child’s babysitter used social media until a former employee of hers mentioned that she’d seen photos of Ross’s daughter on a babysitter’s Instagram account. “While the photos were adorable, I was very shaken,” Ross said. “A sitter’s job is to be watching my child, not playing on social media.” Furthermore, the sitter never asked her permission before sharing the photos, and Ross worried her daughter’s safety could have been compromised if the sitter was on the phone too much. But the worst part of the situation was that, like many parents, she’d simply never thought to address the social media boundaries with her daughter’s caregiver. According to Care.com 2015 Babysitter Survey, approximately one in five parents say they caught their sitter playing on social media without their permission while watching their kids. Distracted childcare is enough of a problem on its own, of course, but there’s an additional element to consider with social media as well: What might your sitter be sharing online about your kids, without your knowledge? And how that could potentially harm them? To be honest, something bad happening to your kids
because a sitter is oversharing on social media “is highly unlikely,” says Chris Rothey, Executive Chairman of Net Nanny. “But that’s where parents’ minds go immediately.” The more likely result of a sitter’s social media share is that it’s removing focus from engaging with your kids. Further, a post can serve as a real-time advertisement to your sitter’s friends, and anyone else she’s connected to online, that you, the parents, aren’t home. And in the case of photos of your child being posted online, Rothey says, “you lose control.” A sitter’s social sharing can also feel like a huge invasion of your privacy, if you find out a trusted caregiver is posting unflattering details about your family. East Grand Forks, Minnesota mom of three, Kathryn (last name withheld for privacy), found out her former nanny was venting her frustrations about her kids online, complaining that her kids were terrible listeners and that she despised working with the family. Stories like that are why Katie Bugbee, senior managing editor of Care.com, says setting social media boundaries with a caregiver should ideally happen at the outset. “Have the discussion in the beginning— but it’s never too late.”
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Discussing social media boundaries can feel awkward, especially since sitters in high school and college may be used to sharing every aspect of their lives online. Frankly, they may not even realize that some parents feel uncomfortable about having their kids’ pictures on social media. “Developmentally, teenage and young adults place a high value on their social world,” says Andrea Vazanna, Ph.D., Clinical Assistant Professor, Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at NYU Langone’s Child Study Center. “When something worth capturing sharing happens, a younger sitter is simply more likely to act on impulse”, she explains, “and to have lapses in judgment.” With that in mind, Rothey advises thinking about the social media boundaries conversation as just another item to go over when your kids are in a sitter’s care. You wouldn’t think twice about telling the sitter when you expect your kids to go to bed, your screentime rules, or what they should be fed— and this is no different. “There’s nothing wrong, offensive, or inappropriate about sharing your rules about social media,” he says.
okay as long as they’re only shared with you; asking that she doesn’t check in locations on Facebook and turns off her location settings; and requesting that social media posts not be about your family. Establishing your social media boundaries with your caregiver will ensure that your kids are kept safe, that your privacy is respected, and that your children’s online social footprint is protected. “Whatever limits you decide to set around this, just be sure you are clear and consistent in conveying them to the caregiver,” Vazanna adds. “It’s smart to offer occasional reminders to your babysitter about your policies by bringing them up again, both directly and in casual conversations.” As for Ross, she says, “I own completely that I assumed that sitters knew posting pictures of children was a no-no without permission. But now, my husband and I always communicate our social media policies with sitters.”
Article courtesy of
You might consider telling your child’s sitter that you expect her to restrict her social media usage to nap times, or after bedtime; saying photos of your kids are 11
Don’t let your NCNG Teen miss out on the next Teen Council Meeting in your area. October 18th Greensboro Teen Council October 20th Charlotte Teen Council October 25th Triangle Teen Council For times and locations or to find out how your NCNG Teen can become a part of the NCNG Teen Council, please contact one of the Child & Youth Staff.
Alice Dean
Kristi Wagner
Courtney Coyle
Lead Child & Youth Coordinator
Child & Youth Coordinator
Child & Youth Specialist
alice.c.dean.ctr@mail.mil
kristi.l.wagner4.ctr@mail.mil
courtney.a.coyle.ctr@mail.mil
(984) 664-6676
(984) 661-4761
(984) 664-6082
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Family Assistance Centers
Statewide Support
Charlotte Unit Family Contact Center 4240 West Blvd. 28208 Carry Bandy: carry.s.bandy.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4573 Anthony Moore: anthony.r.moore8.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4547
NCNG Service Members and Families’ First Line of Defense Call 1-855-322-3848
East Flat Rock Unit Family Contact Center 2025 Spartanburg Hwy. 28726 Rebekah Torres: rebekah.s.torres.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-0565 Military OneSource Here to help you with just about any need, by phone or online. The service is completely private and confidential with few exceptions. www.militaryonesource.mil 1-800-342-9647
Greensboro State Family Assistance Center 110 Franklin Blvd. 27401 Chassidy Hepler (984) 661-5649 Greenville State Family Assistance Center 1401 N. Memorial Dr. 27834 David Kovach: david.p.kovach2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-1150 Lenoir State Family Assistance Center 1535 Beecher Anderson Rd. 28645 Frances Johnson: frances.r.johnson28.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-1242 Morrisville Unit Family Contact Center 2050 National Guard Dr. Mark Woolbright: mark.l.woolbright.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-6377 Raleigh Unit Family Contact Center 1636 Gold Star Dr. 27607 Wendi Bell: wendi.h.bell.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6078 Lisa Faison: lisa.m.faison.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-7100 Smithfield Unit Family Contact Center 406 Hospital Rd. 27577 Abby Millsap: abigail.e.millsap.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-2784
Family Readiness Support Services 130th MEB Nikkie Newsome genesia.k.newsome.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4548
449th TAB George Lane george.w.lane2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-6313
30th ABCT/139th REG Jacqueline Connell jacqueline.a.connell.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5136
JFHQ/60th TC Norman Dean norman.g.dean2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6537
30th ABCT Gerald Murray gerald.t.murray.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5423
FRSS Trainer Gloria Fields gloria.d.fields.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5620
113th SUS BDE Cherrie Mason 984-661-5651
Southern Pines Unit Family Contact Center 510 Morganton Rd. 28387 Earlene Buchan edna.e.buchan.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-2683 Wilmington Unit Family Contact Center 2412 Infantry Rd. 28405 Jim Marley: james.e.marley.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-6918 Winston-Salem Unit Family Contact Center 2000 Silas Creek Pkwy. 27103 Sandy Harrison: sandra.b.harrison2.ctr@mail.mil (984)-661-7131
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