Nubian Message September 21

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THE SENTINEL OF THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMMUNITY AT N.C. STATE UNIVERSITY

NUBIAN MESSAGE RALEIGH, N.C. n VOL. X, ISSUE 4 n THENUBIANMESSAGE.COM n SEPT. 21, 2011 Salute to Higher Education n2

NPHC Organization Spotlight n 4/5

Letter to the Editor: President Obama Coverage n 6

Are You Making the Right Impression? #Let’s Be Honest: What Are People Really Thinking? CJ GUION | EDITOR - IN - CHIEF Last night, the Xi Zeta Chapter of Phi Beta Sigma, Fraternity Inc. and the Kappa Omicron Chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha, Sorority Inc. hosted a program entitled #Let’s Be Honest, What are people really thinking which examined the impressions that students make around campus and discussed the benefits of making a good impression. Several of the topics addressed during the program were personal appearance, name brand clothing, African Americans interactions within and outside the race, as well as social networking etiqutte. Attendees discussed the pros and cons of each specific subject and shared personal experiences. Attendees also viewed a video of interviews with professors detailing whether or not the appearance of a student has an effect on the way that they are perceived in the classroom and etiqutte for communication between student and faculty members. The biggest topic of discussion of the night was social networking. Many of

Photo by CJ GUION MEMBERS OF PHI BETA SIGMA, FRATERNITY INC. AND ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA, SORORITY INC. MODEL UNACCEPTABLE ATTIRE FOR AN ON-CAMPUS AND PROFESSIONAL SETTING. students had many personal experiences with Twitter and Facebook. Many students felt that for the most part students showcased a positive image of themselves on Facebook, but at times tend to get a bit out of hand on Twitter. Attendees felt that many times there are people on Twitter who build an entirely different identity online than the one they portray in person. One question that was left

HONEST CONTINUED ON PAGE 3

Photo by CJ Guion EACH YEAR STUDENT ORGANIZATIONS AROUND CAMPUS BUILD SHACKS ON THE BRICKYARD TO RAISE MONEY FOR HABITAT FOR HUMANITY. THE WINNER GETS BRAGGING RIGHTS AND AN AUTOMATIC PLOT FOR NEXT YEAR’S EVENT.

Annual Shack-A-Thon

ALEXIS TEASDELL | STAFF WRITER

It’s that time of year again! If you haven’t noticed the brickyard is filled with new homes for some of our fellow NC State students. The event is called ShackA-Thon. Every year for the last 21 years students from several organizations have come together to raise money for Habitat for Humanity. This year we have over 20 organizations and 16 shacks selling everything from Krispy Kreme donuts to pizza in order to raise money for this cause.

North Carolina State University’s Habitat for Humanity has been on campus since 1991 making a difference through education, building, fundraising and advocating. The international Habitat for Humanity organization is a ecumenical Christian ministry founded in 1976 and has built over 350,000 houses world wide and provided shelter for more than 1.75 million people. Last year this program raised over $17,000 at NC State and this year they are looking at raising $20,000. The way Shack-A-Thon works is, various organiza-

SHACK CONTINUED ON PAGE 3


PAGE 2 | SEPT. 21, 2011

NEWS NUBIAN MESSAGE K97.5’s Salute to Higher Education

What’s Happening on Campus NPHC WEEK 2011 September 19-25th Today: MSA Success Series: Resume Building Workshop Talley Walnut Room 5:30 - 6:30 PM Today: #NotAboutThatLife 7:00 PM Riddick Hall 451 Mu Xi Chapter of Zeta Phi Beta, Sorority, Inc. and Kappa Lambda Chapter of Omega Psi Phi, Fraternity Inc. September 22nd - Have You OverPlaid - 7 PM Washington Sankofa Rm Kappa Xi Chapter of Kappa Alpha Psi, Fraternity Inc. and Mu Omicron Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta, Sorority, Inc. September 27th - Sickle Cell Awareness Program Hosted by Kappa Omicron Chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. Washington Sankofa Room Witherspoon 126

On Monday, K97.5 stopped by campus on it’s Annual Salute to Higher Education Tour. Each year the Hip Hop and R&B Station travels to different campuses around the Triangle praising students who pursue higher education. The radio station also sought out to educate students about the dangers of drinking and driving. The event is sponsored by Anheuser-Busch. Students also had the opportunity to partake in trivia games, win station prizes, and gift cards during their breaks in between classes.

October 1st-15th Hispanic/Latino Heritage Month Programming NUBIAN MESSAGE STAFF/INTEREST MEETING TODAY 5PM WITHERSPOON 356 INTERESTED IN JOINING THE NUBIAN MESSAGE? SEND US A MESSAGE AT EDITOR@NUBIAN.NCSU.EDU

Nubian Message

Sentinel of the African-American Community at North Carolina State University

CJ GUION | EDITOR - IN - CHIEF JASMINE HARRIS | MANAGIING EDITOR STAFF WRITERS: MADAVIA JOHNSON JONATHAN KIM HIND MALIK KIERRA LEGGETT YOLANDA RAY SHALIESE HARDY ALEXIS TEASDELL TEVIN BYRD COURTNEY PREISTER CHELSEA GARDNER KAREEM WILLIAMS Only with the permission of our elders do we proudly produce each edition of the Nubian Message. Dr. Yosef ben-Yochannan: Dr. John Henrik Clark: Dr. Leonard Jeffries: The Black Panther Party: Mumia A. Jamal: Geronimo Pratt: Tony Williamson: Dr. Lawrence Clark: Dr. Augustus McIver Witherspoon: Dr. Wandra P. Hill: Mr. Kyran Anderson: Dr. Lathan Turner: Dr. M. Iyailu Moses: Dokta Toni Thorpe and all those who accompany us as we are STILL on the journey to true consciousness. COPYRIGHT 2011 BY NORTH CAROLINA STATE STUDENT MEDIA, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Locations Avent Ferry Complex Brooks Hall Caldwell Hall Harrelson Hall DH HILL LIBRARY Witherspoon Student Center Wolf Village Apartments

325/326 Witherspoon Student Center Box 7138 NC State University Raleigh, NC 27695-371 PHONE NUMBER: 919.515.1468 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: ncsu.nubian@gmail.com TWITTER: @NUBIANMESSAGE Facebook.com/NubianMessage


NUBIAN MESSAGE The Nubian Message’s Guide to What’s Goin’ On in Arts & Entertainment

BLAZIN 8 OF THE WEEK 1. Cheers (Drink To That) Rihanna 2. How To Love- Lil’ Wayne 3. Mirror- Lil’ Wayne feat. Bruno Mars 4. SuperBass- Nicki Minaj 5. Give Me Everything- Pitbull feat Ne-Yo 6. Marvin & Chardonnay- Big Sean feat. Kanye West and Roscoe Dash 7. Love On Top- Beyonce 8. Otis- Jay Z and Kanye West

WKNC’s UNDERGROUND Top 5 of the Week 1. LITTLE BROTHER - I Got Work For Ya 2. NOTTZ- I Do It For Yawl 3. SKYZOO- Wikipedia Rap 4. MOBB DEEP- Animal Instinct 5 . STAT- The Emcee Listen to Underground Radio on WKNC 88.1 FM... CHECK WKNC.ORG FOR AIR TIMES

Coming Soon

Chris Brown

SEPT. 21, 2011 | PAGE 3

SHACK CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 tions buy a spot on the brickyard to raise money for Habitat for Humanity. For the entire week, someone must stay in the shack, night and day. While organizations are out there they can do whatever they think of to raise money. Some find sponsors such as Subway, McDonald’s or Jimmy Johns and other’s make homemade treats to sell such as cookies. The organization that raises the most money receives bragging rights as well as a guaranteed plot for next year. The fundraiser lasts for an entire week starting Monday at 8 a.m. Yesterday, September 20th, they hosted a photo scavenger hunt at 8 p.m. and today there will be a costume contest at 7 p.m. Thursday will be the tentative concert and Friday will be the last day that students will stay in the shack…unless they want to. Saturday morning is “Whack-AShack” where the various organizations tear down their shacks and donate the materials. These organizations will be camped out all week, so when you enter the brickyard make sure you have some cash on you to help donate to these various organizations. Also, if your club or organization is interested in having a Shack next year, look out for the informational meeting in late August to prepare for this outstanding fundraiser. Help Habitat for Humanity reach it’s goal and visit a few shacks this week.

HONEST CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 unaswered after the program was whether social networking sites are meant to be a place where people can post what they want or whether their should be a limit to what is and what is not acceptable? One thing that was agreed upon is that social networking has become a big part of college student’s lives today and everyone must make very tough decisions of what they should and what they should not post. Many employers use social networking sites as the first unofficial part of the interview process. Students must make sure that they are making the best impression possible, because most times students only have one time to make a good impression. The first impression is the best impression. QUICK TIPS FROM THE PROGRAM 1. Dress for yourself, and not for others 2. Watch what you put on Twitter and Facebook, people are watching 3. When you email professors, leave text messaging habits at the door 4. Don’t Poke people on Facebook 5.Show your true self when you are on the web... People will begin to associate your Twitter alters with your true personality 6. Don’t argue with people on Twitter and then act like you are best friends in person 7. Live within your means... Don’t Buy 100 Dollar shoes that are really worth 15 dollars 8. Always be mindful of everything you say and everything you do, because someone is always watching 9. Once you click send, you have just released your thoughts to millions of people and you can’t take it back

Nubian Message on the Move The Nubian Message has found a new home in Witherspoon 325 and 326. Over the summer, Student Government moved out of it’s suite in Witherspoon Student Center into Harrelson Hall until the completion of the Talley renovations. The vacated space has since been taken over by the Student Media professional staff members and the Business Office which sells advertising for al l Student Media publications. For many years, the Nubian Message was a staple resident organization in the African American Cultural Center. However, it has now joined Technician, WKNC, Wolf TV, and the other student media outlets in the Student Media suite.

Chris Brown will be in town on October 1st at the Time Warner Pavillion which special guests Kelly Rowland, T-Pain, and Tyga Photo courtesy of Jive Records Editor’s Office

Nubian Message Production Office


NUBIAN MESSAGE

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Organization Spotlight : National Pan The Eta Omicron Chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha, Fraternity Inc. National Chapter Founded – December 4th, 1906 NC State Chapter Founded – April 7th, 1971 Motto: “First of All, Servants of All, We Shall Transcend All” Nickname: Alphas Colors: Black and Gold Notable Programs: Bowling for Babies, Annual HIV Testing Drive, Go to High School - Go to College, A voteless people is a hopeless people, Project Alpha First established Male African American Fraternity in the Nation and On Campus

The Kappa Omicron Chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha, Sorority, Inc. Nickname: AKAs Motto: “By Culture and By Merit” Founding Year : 1908 Founding Date on Campus: April 27, 1976 The first established Greek-letter organization by African American women Notable Events: School Supply Drive, Sickle Cell Awareness Program Has received awards for Sorority of the GPA and Highest GPA of all Greek organizations on campus Pink and Green

NCSU NPH

The NPHC is a collaborative org cally, African Americ Fraternities and Sororities. Ea community and has a strong fo sues in t African American

Sigma Gamma Rho, Sorority I Fraternity, Inc. don’t currently campus

The Kappa Xi Chapter of Kappa Alpha Psi, Fraternity Inc. Founding Year: 1911 Campus Founding Date: December 12th, 1980 Colors: Crimson and Cream Nickname: Nupes, Kappas Notable Programs/Events: Krimson Kafe, Hoopin’ For Hunger, Heart Walk, Relationships: Men vs Women, Prostate Walk, Interact


NUBIAN MESSAGE

SEPT. 21, 2011 | PAGE 5

n-hellenic Council (NPHC) Mu Omicron Chapter Delta Sigma Theta, Sorority Inc. Nickname: Deltas Colors: Crimson and Cream Founding Year: 1913 Campus Founding Date: October 25th, 1975 NC State’s First African American Sorority - founded on 3 principles: scholarship, public service, and sisterhood - programs based on 5 points: economic development, educational development, international awareness & involvement, physical and mental health, political awareness & involvement Notable Events: Mr. Crimson and Cream Pageant, Red Pump Affair, Christmas Wrapping Party

U HC

Kappa Lambda Chapter of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc. National Founding Date: November 17th, 1911 Ques Founded on Campus: April 27th, 1978 Chartered on Campus: March 28th, 1980 Royal Purple and Old Gold

ganization of nine historican Greek Letter ach group is active in the ocus on education and isthe community.

Inc. and Iota Phi Theta, y have active chapters on s.

The Xi Zeta Chapter of Phi Beta Sigma, Fraternity Inc. Motto: “Culture for Service, Service for Humanity” Founding Date: 1914 Campus Founding Date: March 4th, 1982 Royal Blue and Pure White Notable Programs: Sleepout for the Homeless, Blue & White Gospel Explosion, State of NC State: A Leadership Summit Mu Xi Chapter of Zeta Phi Beta, Sorority, Inc. Nickname: Zetas Motto: “A community-conscious, action oriented organization” Founding Year: 1920 Campus Founding Date: May 5, 1990 Scholarship, Service, Finer Womanhood, Sisterly Love Royal Blue and Pure White


PERSPECTIVES

PAGE 6 | SEPT. 21, 2011

NUBIAN MESSAGE

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I wanted to thank you for your cover article regarding President Barack Obama visiting NC State University. It is an honor for the President of the United States to visit the campus and I was excited to see him on the cover of the Nubian Message in a picture from his previous visit to campus. As excited as I was to see your cover, I felt the opposite about The Technician’s cover. The cover of The Technician portrayed the president with a scowl on his face, a black background andwas entitled, “He has a plan, but will it work?” First, I couldn’t believe that that was the image of the president they chose to use with a scowling look. Secondly, the president is visiting our campus and they decide to question his jobs plan on the cover? Will the plan work? It is absolutely appropriate to havediscussion about the president’s jobs plan in The Technician, but I could not believe that that was thecover. I had hoped the cover would set a tone of respect and excitement for the momentous occasionand truly look to welcome the president. Instead, it seemed to question the President. After seeing the cover, I shared my disappointed with others. The individuals I talked to shared thatthey thought that the next day The Technician would have a better cover, a cover that showed the president and celebrated this moment for NC State. We all stated that of course there would be a largepicture of the president and crowd on the front page of The Technician. Instead, the next day, I sawhalf of the front page of The Technician dedicated to the president, and the other half dedicated to anAfrican American student accused of sexual assault. I could not believe that these stories were placedbeside one another. Not only was the placement upsetting, but so was the fact that The Technicianincluded a picture of the student accused of sexual assault and included the student’s home address inthe article. I was extremely disappointed in The Technician for seemingly downplaying our president’svisit and for placing the sexual assault article right beside the president’s article. However, I was notcompletely shocked that they had done this, because I had expected that in some way they would notfully celebrate the president’s visit. Ultimately I believe that The Technician is missing cultural understanding

regarding diverse peopleon this campus. I believe that The Technician probably has no idea why it would be offensive for the president to share the cover of the newspaper with a student accused of sexual assault. I believe thatthey have no idea why the cover questioning the president the day he visited be upsetting, or whyit might be offensive to give out the home address of a student who is accused of a crime and whohappens to be African American. This and many other examples (such as the editorial on why the African American community should embrace hate), is why The Nubian Message was ultimately created. There is an African proverb that states, “Until the lion has its own historian, the tale of the hunt willalways glorify the hunter.” The Nubian Message is the perspective/historian for the African Americancommunity and others who do not have a voice at NC State. Too many times students of color have seenThe Technician print things that illustrate misunderstanding of the African American community. This is why The Nubian Message’s presence is so important. However, with the task of being the voice of the African American community on campus, much isexpected of The Nubian Message. There are many issues that impact students of color on this campusthat The Nubian Message should be covering. Talk to students on campus about hard hitting issuessuch as enrollment rates of students of color, retention rates of students of color, the fact that not everycollege at NC State has a diversity coordinator. These are issues that The Nubian Message should becovering, not giving valuable space to articles that talk about the importance of leggings. If you don’t tell the story of diverse people on this campus, who will? After all, The Nubian Message has a rich history that we should all be proud of. Let’s try and live up to that history and make a difference. Regards, Jayson Merritt

How Do You Get Involved When You Don’t Know What’s Going on? CHELSEA GARDNER | STAFF WRITER On August 9th I moved into NC State University with high expectations for academic life, social life, and extracurricular activities. Since I’ve arrived, I’ve only found one area that has yet to meet up to its promises and that is the extracurricular activities. We were told that NC State offers 400+ clubs and organizations. We were told that within weeks we would find our niche and what we are interested in. But for some of us, that has not been the case. Early in the school year, we had the opportunity to get information about clubs and organizations but some of us were not reached out too or expected things to be a lot different in terms of involvement. I can even attest to feeling like I had to reach out for more information from clubs instead of the other way around. With this being said, I realize it is not high school anymore and with a school of 34,000 it is almost impossible to have a central location to post stuff where everyone will see it. But I have yet to see the evidence that there are various clubs out there just waiting for us to get involved in.

So let’s face it: a lot of the freshmen have no idea what’s going on around N.C. State. In the process of transitioning from high school to college, extracurricular activities often get left behind. Without flyers around the hallways and constant reminders via intercom announcements or posts on the school website, freshman are left confused, helpless, and clueless about the year to come. It is hard to come from being super involved to suddenly feeling like you are dropped in the middle of nowhere and have no idea what is going on. My hopes are that even if they are not being reached out too, freshman students are making the conscious effort to find other means to get involved. It is time for us to take the initiative where others are lacking and leave our mark on this great university. As a future working member of society, we have to build our resumes and getting involved freshman year shows dedication and determination. Entering a world full of freedom and independence is tough but we have to do our research and find what’s right for us, whether the communication is there or not.


LIFESTYLES

NUBIAN MESSAGE

Has God Forsaken Us?

The Classroom I step into the ring a ring of thoughts around my head from the time I hit 5 this was where I’d been led a glove called knowledge a glove called vision left shoe common sense right shoe intuition quick on my feet in this fight of my life Everything I do, in order to win, must be done right left hook to stereotypes jab to preconceived notions two piece to everybody who thought I was filling a quota blood dripping from my jaw for not answering a question in class pounding in my head from not raising my hand Everyone is watching. I just want to stay on my feet being all I can be in a war that is more than just me back against the ropes of the ring as they continue to speak Topics like freedom of speech, slavery and how it all affects ME every fact I didn’t know sends a blow to my stomach Every time I mess up I feel like defeats coming diploma on my side but the diploma isn’t the prize the prize is my pride to be able to hold my head high to confidently speak on topics with no fear of lacking knowledge to go back to my home and show others they can go to college punched between my eyes because they can’t see my story they don’t know I raise my hand, not for participation grades but for the glory I fight for more than a degree I’m fighting for people to see more from themselves from seeing more out of me The training of precision the decision to sit at the front of class Office hours unlike most cowards questions I have to ask Pushing for more, I need A’s it’s not enough to pass but I’m still on my feet when I was supposed to be cut at my knees Fighting an opponent that doesn’t know were in my ring.

- Alexis Teasdell

SEPT. 21, 2011 | PAGE 7

HIND MALIK | STAFF WRITER

Whenever I hear in the news about destruction caused by a disaster in poor Black nations or communities, whether it is a natural disaster, a pandemic, a political or an economic disaster, I wonder, does the color Black attract misfortune, or is it our fate? Why has God created us, and then bestowed upon us such awful suffering adorned by endless struggle? Are we cursed, or are we blessed by constantly being the victims rather than the offenders, who are corrupted by power and wealth? Perhaps it is a blessing that God allows the mass murder of Africans or the poor in general by the hands of their leaders hurriedly ending their misery to grant them entry into Heaven where they can finally find peace! I recently finished reading a book by Nawal El Saadawi, an Egyptian feminist writer, activist, physician and psychiatrist, titled God Dies ByThe Nile. A translated version of Saadawi’s book is available on campus at D.H. Hill Library. I will not expand on the book itself because the title alone conveys the tragedy of the story and the reality of the nations that lie along the banks of the Nile River in Africa. God Grew Tired of Us is also a documentary which traces the journey of a group of children, who lived not far from the Nile area. They are the “Lost Boys” of Southern Sudan who journeyed to the United States fleeing violence. There are many other similar documentaries, books, and films that express the weariness and the challenging experiences of the poor and disadvantaged. Again the question arises: Has God really forsaken us? Looking back into the history of African-Americans, one

could not help but notice the extraordinary role that religion and faith in God played in helping our ancestors persevere through slavery, the struggle for emancipation, the Civil War, and Jim Crow laws, segregation and other discriminatory legislation. Historically, the Church has played an indisputable role in preserving African-American community, establishing educational institutions as well as serving as the epicenter of the Civil Rights Movement. Has God really forsaken our people; or is it through their strong faith that they have persevered through some of the worst atrocities in human history, to become some of the greatest leaders, scholars, citizens, artists, and entertainers that the world has seen? This brings us back to the present and to one of the most recent upheavals in African political history. Is God really dying by the Nile? On February, 25, 2011, the world witnessed the popular uprising of Egyptians as they overthrew the thirty year regime of President Hosni Mubarak. Did God grow tired of Southern Sudanese? On January, 2011, Southern Sudanese voted in a referendum in favor of succession from Sudan. On July 9, 2011, Southern Sudanese celebrated their freedom and victory as the independent state of Southern Sudan. Both of the aforementioned events should renew our faith and help to remind us: At times, it may seem that God is not responding to our prayers as fast as we desire, but the Lord has surely not forgotten us. God may have a special plan for us, and for a time, it may seem that part of our fate may be to suffer and struggle. Like our ancestors, though, we can find strength in the struggle and persevere to overcome.

WORDS OF ADVICE

Dear Nubian,

I know that last year you did an advice column, and I was wondering what happened to it. But anyways I have this issue... My best friendhas been dating this guy for a couple of months... We've been realclose for like two years, but he's been trying to talk to me behindher back. At first it started with him texting me here and thereasking me about my day... Then it turned into phone calls, and then he asked me to go to the movies with him. I know that I should probably tell her, but I don't want to ruin our friendship... I think that I have feelings for him too. What should I do? Sincerely, Confused Dear Confused, The first thing that you should do is tell your friend! I understand that you do not want to ruin the friendship that you all have, but if she finds out from someone else that will make the situation ten times worse. If she is your friend then she would want to know and even if it is not what she wants to hear. I would not expect her to be too appreciative though. Now, the fact that you have feelings for this guy is a completely different issue. If your friend and this guy had a serious relationship and she had or still has feelings for him then you may be in serious jeopardy of breaking the “girl code.” If this is indeed the case then it seems as if you were acting as an enabler and promoting his behavior. Personally, I would not feel comfortable with my friends engaging in such behaviors with my ex and I’m pretty sure many people would agree. Your loyalty should ultimately be to your friend and you should not try to make personal gains from her loss. End-

ing a friendship over a guy is not worth it. I think I should reiterate that, ending a friendship over a guy is not worth it. If your friend and this guy weren’t serious then I do not think anything is wrong with it. However, you still should ask your friend for permission. Yes, permission! Just because things did not work for those two does not mean that it will not work for you two. But, remember that people usually repeat past behaviors. So what this guy is doing to your friend, he will probably end up doing to you. At the end of the day consider this as a lesson learned. We all want companionship but at what cost? In the future, never allow a potential friendship to jeopardize an actual friendship. You will end up friendless and single. I know, I know it is easier said than done. Remember, your friends will be there when everyone else turns their back on you. Sincerely, Nubian Queen

Need Advice? If so, send your question to the Nubian... editor@nubian.ncsu.edu

Is Marriage for White People? KELVIN CARTER | STAFF WRITER

A Stanford law Professor wrote a book called, “Is Marriage for White People,” states that most Black Americans are not getting married. Studies prove that black women have surprised black men economically. These women then have a scarce supply of men that they can choose from in the pool of love. What do women decide to do? Refuse to marry. Black women are more geared to marrying a man of a different race than to choose a black man that does not make as much money as her. Many college students don’t even think of marriage because they usually want to focus on school. However we are still aware of what’s to come ahead. If women are choosing not to marry our men, who are not as successful as they are, then what about the men who are successful. One out of four black men will end up in jail; many will not make it to college. The percentage of black males that do make it to college is lower than the percentage of black women. So if you haven’t realized the problem yet let me set up the scenario for you. If you see a black woman walking with a white male hand in hand the question that may come up is, “Why didn’t that beautiful woman marry a black guy.” The answer is there may not have been a black guy to meet her standards. There may be black guys who wouldn’t treat her as well as a white male, or any other race would. Black males are missing out on women who will benefit them most because they are too lazy to satisfy their woman or afraid of commitment.


PAGE 8 | SEPT. 21, 2011

MORE PERSPECTIVES

Roommate Problems:

NUBIAN MESSAGE Question of the Week What are some of your pet peeves when it comes to roommates?

An On Campus Student’s Worst Nightmate JASMINE HARRIS | COPY EDITOR

One of the biggest issues that on-campus freshman and even some upperclassmen students face are roommate conflicts. Freshman in particular experience many new obstacles having not lived closely with another person before and being used to their own space. Here are common issues that people run into when living in a dorm room with someone for the first time. My roommate sleeps a lot and does not go to class. She never studies and I never get alone time in the room because he/ she is always here. She tends to tag along with my friends and I whenever we go out, but they don‘t want to hang out with her. I’m concerned about her, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Your roommate is probably having a hard time adjusting to college and there could be some underlying issue to why she clings to you and does not get out and make friends. She could be depressed or homesick. Try talking to your roommate sincerely about how you are feeling. Talk to your resident advisor about your concerns if you don’t feel comfortable talking to your roommate, and see what she or he think is the best approach to this situation. It may be helpful if you and your resident advisor both sat down with her and talked about these concerns, because they could result in something major like her failing her classes.

Sarah Brown Sophomore Chemical Engineering My biggest pet peeve is when roommates sign off and agree to the roommate agreement but do not follow them.

My roommate has sex with people in the room while I’m there. He has people over that stay overnight frequently and even has people in the room late at night on weekdays. Start by telling your roommate that you don’t feel comfortable when he has people of the opposite sex. Ask him if he could have people over less frequently or if you can designate a time when people can come over. What some people usually do when they want to have intimate time with a guest is the “sock on the door knob” method, indicating that they would like privacy. However, talk to your roommate first about doing this, so that it is a mutual thing and one of you isn’t being forced out of the room when you need to be there. Many of the residence halls on campus have a visitation policy where people of the opposite sex have to be out of their room by a certain time. For halls that have 24-hour visitation, your roommate still has to be courteous and make sure it’s okay with you to have guests over. If you are not comfortable when they have someone over, you have the right to say so. Let your resident advisor know what’s going on if it continues to be a problem so he or she can try to mediate you two or if the roommate is violating the visitation policy. My roommate keeps eating my food and using my stuff. She also roommate allows guests to sit on my bed and touch my things. She changed our room around without my permission. Did you agree to share food when you completed your roommate agreement? If so, and you’ve decided you would rather keep your belongings to yourself, or that you’d rather have them ask before using something that’s yours. If you didn’t make an agreement to share stuff, I would remind your roommate that they are not following the rules that you have set and that you would like them to ask if they want to eat or use something or that you would like them to not use your belongings at all. Tell your roommate that you weren’t okay with the changes and ask he or she if you can sit down and arrange the room in a way that you both feel comfortable. If issues continue, ask your resident advisor about a mediation and adding things to your roommate agreement. My roommate is messy. How do I talk to them about cleaning up their belongings? Sometimes asking is all you need to do is give your roommate a little reminder about cleaning up. During the school year, people get very busy with studying and involvement and tend to forget about things like cleaning, doing laundry etc. and they may be so busy that they don’t have time to do cleaning and waiting for the first opportunity to do so. If they’re just overall messy, ask them if they can be considerate enough to keep the areas that you both use clean and to keep their belongings in their personal area or side of the room. And of course, if it comes down to it, go to your resident advisor with your concerns. My roommate doesn’t like me very much. She tends to ignore me when we’re in the room together and she doesn’t even want to hang out with me. People often come to college expecting to be best friends with their roommate. However, this is most likely not going to happen unless happen to get lucky. Some people that are best friends before college even come to college as roommates thinking things are going to always go smoothly. If you feel comfortable ask your roommate why he or she ignores you or why they don’t like you. You may just have to accept the fact that they are just a roommate and that you’re not going to be friends, just as long as they follow the rules you’ve set for the room. If they do not follow the rules, you may need to talk to your resident advisor.

Brooke Knopp Freshman Geology My biggest pet peeve is probably when roommates do not put away their belongings.

Allen Hsu Junior Chemistry and biochemistry My pet peeve is when roommates continuously ask me how am I doing.

Communication is key to any relationship, even if you’re just living together. Concisely, I believe the biggest solution for any roommate conflict, is to simply talk to them about it in the nicest manner possible. Usually telling them what the problem is right away will keep it from escalating and sometimes that’s all it takes to even solve it. Confrontation can be very challenging, because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make them upset with you. The key is talking to your roommate is to do so in a manner that does not seem like you are attacking them, angry at them or trying to argue with them. If talking to them doesn’t help or change your roommates actions, remind them of what you agreed on in your roommate agreement, that way they remember that they actually signed a form saying they agree that you will maintain your room a certain way. If there is something you didn’t state during your roommate agreement or something you didn’t think was a problem, but it turned out to be, you can always talk to your roommate and resident advisor about adding this to your agreement. Your resident advisor is there for a reason! Get to know them and keep them updated on how you and your roommate are doing; they’ll be sure to help by mediating the issues between you and your roommate and assist you with coming up with a solution for those issues. Despite of this, going to your resident advisor for a room change should be your last resort, because having a roommate is a part of that transition to growing up and being on your own; being able to solve these issues on your own prepares you to face these issues out in the real world.

Jeannette Theora Junior Chemistry and biochemistry I do not like nosy roommates always asking me stuff and snooping through my things.


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