Pinwheels for Prevention. Tips from the Child Advocacy Center on how to prevent child abuse and domestic violence while schools are closed during quarantine periods

Pinwheels for Prevention

Preventing child abuse during COVID-19 quarantine

Every April for the past five years, thousands of shimmering blue and silver pinwheels have burst into bloom in an artful beach “garden” at the foot of the Naples Pier. April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, and in recognition of the mission to end child abuse, pinwheel gardens spring up in cities and towns all over America. Pinwheels at the Pier, created by the Children’s Advocacy Center (CAC) of Collier County, is thought to be the largest pinwheel garden in the U.S., and the only one known to be planted on a tropical beach.

This year, CAC planned to expand the pinwheel garden to Naples Botanical Garden. At press time, Naples Botanical Garden is temporarily closed due to the coronavirus. Upon its reopening, CAC plans to create a pinwheel garden within Naples Botanical Garden in observance of National Child Abuse Prevention Month. Because Pinwheels at the Pier must take a break this year in the interest of health and safety, the CAC counseling staff would like to share a few stress-busting tips for parents who are home with their children for extended periods.

In many ways similar to close confinement during hurricanes, the COVID-19 crisis piles job and financial fears on top of everything else, creating a breeding ground for stress, conflict, and, at worst, child abuse. Here are six ways to help defuse tense situations as we all get through this together.

Make a schedule

Kids (and maybe you, too?) do best with structure and routine. Maintain set times for waking, sleeping, and meals, just as if they were headed to school or you to work. And, although older kids are guaranteed to roll their eyes, post the schedule. Include game time, or popcorn-andmovie time. Add pictures and silly graphics to appeal to younger kids. Be sure to include “Wash Hands!”

If you’re fortunate enough to be able to work remotely, take a lesson from the world’s top authors, musicians, and artists, who discipline themselves to paint, practice, or write at the same time and in the same spot every day. Let the kids

know your “at work” hours in advance. If you and a partner are both working from home, stagger your times as much as possible. To deal with incoming business calls, come up with a creative nonverbal signal that means “shhh for a few minutes.” For example, put on a baseball cap, put the elf on the shelf, or let the kids make a sign to post on your door.

Burn some energy; breathe fresh air

Aren’t we lucky to live in Florida, especially right now, rather than the land of ice and snow to the north? Make “go outside” a regular schedule item. Ride bikes, walk, swim (in your own pool only), shoot some hoops in the driveway, dig in the garden; whatever works for your family.

And then … take a nap

Oh yes, you can. And it’s physically and emotionally necessary! When we’re rested, we can feel more relaxed and able to handle stress.

Cut some slack

Kids go through clumsy stages at different ages. If your kid is in the spilled milk stage, it might get worse during unsettling times. You may not be used to prolonged 24/7 time with your partner, so some of their quirky habits may turn from cute to annoying. Try to cut them some slack. Be aware that you’re probably a bit off your own game at the moment, too. Try to find the humor buried in these moments, and let them go.

Still, the kids can be perfect angels, the partner 100% supportive, and all your favorite comfort foods may be on hand, but the unknowns of health issues and financial security on top of the normal stresses of parenting when you’re all home all day adds up to the perfect storm. Give yourself and the kids time to adjust to this new paradigm.

Count to 10

Even the smallest children know when something is off-kilter in their personal world. They might be emotional, or act out in uncharacteristic ways. Take a deep breath. A few seconds of emotional time out on your part can make the difference between calm discipline and abuse. Studies have shown that the emotional effects of yelling at a child or constant parental fighting in the child’s presence can be as devastating as physical abuse and require years of counseling to repair.

Talk, listen, acknowledge

Be observant! Even the older ones may not express verbally their worries and fears at this time. “I wonder if …” can be a great conversation-starter if you have a hunch that something specific is bothering the child. For example, “I wonder if you’re feeling scared that grandpa will get sick?” or, when they hear of or see empty supermarket shelves, “I wonder if you’re worried that we’ll run out of food?” That lets children know that it is okay to talk about anything that’s bothering them, even the scary “worst case scenario” thoughts. Avoid dramatic words like “disaster” and “terrified,” and remember: your body language speaks louder than words.

For more information visit caccollier.org. If you know of or suspect abuse, call 800-962-2873.

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