NeAr ModERn DIsaSTer?
Hi there! I’m Sam Kramer, the Lady In Charge at Near Modern Disaster. I’ve been working under the name in one form or another since 1999, when I first came across the Near (modern) Disaster photo series by artist Nic Nicosia. I loved the series - and obviously loved the title. A few years into my run, Nicosia got word that I was using the name. (His daughter messaged me on LiveJournal: “You have my dad listed as an interest...”) He approved of my remarkable taste circa 2003 - let’s hope he still feels the same.
Near Modern Disaster has gone through many incarnations
over the years. (It was a killer Geocities page back in the day.) Its current (and most memorable) form as a line of “cards for people who don’t think they’re card people” was born in 2009.
While we’d been “in the game” for a while, it wasn’t until 2014 that Near Modern Disaster properly debuted to the wholesale market - trade shows and all. We added new designs and refreshed old ones. We outsourced printing. We began working with sales reps. And, of course, like any good small business, we started talking in third person.
Since 2014, Near Modern Disaster has grown from a line of greeting cards to a small gift lineadding different items over the years like notepads, mini enclosure cards, fridge magnets, stickers, and enamel pins. You can find Near Modern Disaster products in about 500 stores across the USA - and a slew of stores across Canada and Europe thanks to our international distributors and licensing agents. Visit our website for a list of our current domestic retailers and international partners.
ConTAct iNfO
Have a question about a product? Need help with an order? Give us a shout! Our current catalog is always online at:
Follow us on Instagram! Tag us in your posts, stories, and reels - and we’ll repost.
Need to reach us via snail mail or IRL? We’ve got an address for that too:
www.nearmoderndisaster.com904-683-2485wholesale@nearmoderndisaster.com
@moderndisaster
Sam NearKramerModern Disaster 3316-A Beach Blvd Jacksonville, FL 32207
2
3 NEW RELEASES! ....................................... 4 to 21 GREETING CARDS ................................... 22 to 57 TOPICAL .............................................................. 22 LOVE + FRIENDSHIP 23 VALENTINE’S DAY ........................................... 33 BIRTHDAY 34 WEDDING + ENGAGEMENT .................... 42 BABY 46 EVERYDAY .......................................................... 49 NEW JOB / HOUSE 49 ALL THE SWEARS 50 SYMPATHY ......................................................... 52 ENCOURAGEMENT 53 MISS YOU .......................................................... 54 THANK YOU 56 CONGRATS 57 GRADUATION ................................................. 59 MOM + DAD 60 EVERYDAY 60 MOTHER’S DAY 62 FATHER’S DAY .................................................. 65 HOLIDAY 68 HANUKKAH 74 CUSTOM / STATE-SPECIFIC 75 VINYL STICKERS ....................................... 76 to 81 FRIDGE MAGNETS ................................... 82 to 85 ENAMEL PINS ........................................... 86 to 87 MINI ENCLOSURE CARDS ...................... 88 to 91 NOTEPADS ................................................ 92 to 93 WHerE TO FInd the THINGS:
2022 HOLIDAY GIFT BAGS
Our premium Eurotote-style gift bags are made in the USA! Printed in full color on heavyweight scuff-resistant matte paper in sunny California.
Large bag size -13” tall x 9.5” wide x 4.5” deep - great for larger items like puzzles or clothing! Braided rope handles are white unless noted otherwise.
Note : BAG1514 and BAG1526 have different images on the front and back sides.
$4.00 each. Minimum 4 per style. In-stock quantities vary - expect lead times up to 3 weeks.
4
VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
2022 HOLIDAY GIFT BAGS
Our premium Eurotote-style gift bags are made in the USA! Printed in full color on heavyweight scuff-resistant matte paper in sunny California.
Large bag size -13” tall x 9.5” wide x 4.5” deep - great for larger items like puzzles or clothing! Braided rope handles are white unless noted otherwise.
Note : BAG1514 and BAG1526 have different images on the front and back sides.
$4.00 each. Minimum 4 per style. In-stock quantities vary - expect lead times up to 3 weeks.
5
INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
2022 HOLIDAY GIFT BAGS
Our premium Eurotote-style gift bags are made in the USA! Printed in full color on heavyweight scuff-resistant matte paper in sunny California.
Large bag size -13” tall x 9.5” wide x 4.5” deep - great for larger items like puzzles or clothing! Braided rope handles are white unless noted otherwise.
Note : BAG1514 and BAG1526 have different images on the front and back sides.
$4.00 each. Minimum 4 per style. In-stock quantities vary - expect lead times up to 3 weeks.
6
VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
2022 HOLIDAY GIFT BAGS
Our premium Eurotote-style gift bags are made in the USA! Printed in full color on heavyweight scuff-resistant matte paper in sunny California.
Large bag size -13” tall x 9.5” wide x 4.5” deep - great for larger items like puzzles or clothing! Braided rope handles are white unless noted otherwise.
Note : BAG1514 and BAG1526 have different images on the front and back sides.
$4.00 each. Minimum 4 per style. In-stock quantities vary - expect lead times up to 3 weeks.
7
INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
8 GINGERBREAD#515 CHAOS 2022 HOLIDAY CARDS All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #514 ICE CREAM WISHES SEASON'S#517READINGSSEASON'S#516EATINGS VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
9 #519 SNAIL MAIL SEASON 2022 HOLIDAY CARDS All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. CHRISTMAS#518FRONT DOOR #521 GIFTS I NEVER RETURNSPEAKING#520TERMS INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
2022 HOLIDAY CARDS
10 #523 LESS OF A SHITSHOW
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #522 BIG CITY LAWYER #525 BRIGHT START NEW YEAR #524 NO SNOW NO PROBLEM VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
2022 HOLIDAY CARDS
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style.
CHRISTMAS#527
11
DOG
CHRISTMAS#526 CAT INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
12 JUNE 2022 POSTCARDS Postcards measure 4” x 6”. Printed on heavyweight 17 pt. uncoated cardstock. $1.25 each. Minimum 6 per style. Shipped loose (no cello sleeves.) VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM PC - 001 JUST ONE MORE PAGE PC - 002 SNAIL MAIL FOREVER PC - 004 READ BANNED BOOKS PCSPEAK005UP! PC - 008 THE WORLD IS SHIT PC - 007 MORE LETTERS FEWER EMAILS PC - 010 TBR PILE
13 JUNE 2022 POSTCARDS Postcards measure 4” x 6”. Printed on heavyweight 17 pt. uncoated cardstock. $1.25 each. Minimum 6 per style. Shipped loose (no cello sleeves.) INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM PC - 006 I MISS YOUR FACE PC - 003 SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL BOOKSTORE PC - 011 CATS ARE BETTER PC - 009 BOOK STACK PC - 012 DOGS ARE BETTER
Durable, weatherproof, waterproof, dishwasher safe, all the things. Made of scratch-resistant matte vinyl. Stickers measure 3” on the longest side. $1.50 each. Minimum 6 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging.
14
JUNE 2022 STICKERS READLOCAL#ST-975BOOKSTORE#ST-976BANNEDBOOKS MOREMORE#ST-978BOOKS#ST-979LETTERS #ST-980#ST-977TBRPILE SNAIL MAIL FOREVER VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM #ST-981 MORE PLANTS FEWER PEOPLE PAPER#ST-982PLANE #ST-983 I HATE IT HERE
15 JUNE 2022 MAGNETS Magnets measure 2” x 3”. $2.50 ea. Minimum 4 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging. ALWAYS#MAG-836TIRED CAT#MAG-837INBOX MORE#MAG-838CATS MORE#MAG-839DOGS #MAG-835 JUST ORDER TAKEOUTMORE#MAG-834LETTERS#MAG-833 ASK ME WHAT I'M READING #MAG-840 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
JANUARY 2022 CARDS
16 #502 NOT HELP YOU MOVE
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #501 PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME *ALREADYCOOL#504AGAINABESTSELLER*BREAKUP#503SONG VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
JANUARY 2022 CARDS
17 #506 IT'S NEVER TOO LATE
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #505 WHAT THE FUCCULENT? #512 SO HAPPY FOR YOU! #511 CUTEST FUCKING BABY INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style.
#507 MOM PUTTING UP *ALREADY A BEST SELLER*
JANUARY 2022 CARDS *ALREADY A BEST SELLER*
18 #508 DAD PUTTING UP
FATHER'S#510WILD CHILDMOTHER'S#509WILD CHILD VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. FUCKING PROUD
WEIRDEST#476SENIOR YEAR
JANUARY 2022 CARDS 2021 TOP SELLER IS BACK!
19
OUR
#513 SO
INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
Durable, weatherproof, waterproof, dishwasher safe, all the things. of scratch-resistant matte vinyl. Stickers measure 3” on the longest side. $1.50 6 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging.
20
Made
each. Minimum
JANUARY 2022 STICKERS #ST-966 BAKING LOVE DRESSES#ST-969LANGUAGEWITHPOCKETS NEVERMORE#ST-967CATS#ST-970TOOLATE IMPERFECTLYMORE#ST-968DOGS#ST-971PERFECT VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM *ALREADY A BEST SELLER**ALREADY A BEST SELLER* KILLIN'#ST-972IT SWEARING#ST-973HELPS #ST-974 FOR FUCK'S SAKE
21 JANUARY 2022 MAGNETS INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM BOOKWORM#MAG-830DOGS#MAG-829AREBETTERCATS#MAG-828AREBETTER *ALREADY A BEST SELLER**ALREADY A BEST SELLER* Magnets measure 2” x 3”. $2.50 ea. Minimum 4 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging. #MAG-831 JUST ONE MORE PAGE *ALREADYWHAT#MAG-832THEFUCCULENTABESTSELLER* #MAG-826 COFFEE IS MY LOVE LANGUAGE #MAG-827 TEA IS MY LOVE LANGUAGE
TOPICAL carDS
22 #466 AFTER QUARANTINE
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #470 FOUND IN A PANDEMIC #472 REMEMBER GOING PLACES?REMEMBER#471HUGGING? VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
LOVE FrIenDSHiP
23 #486 HAVEN'T KILLED EACH OTHER
+
*NEW* All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #222 GODDAMN MAGICAL UNICORN *BEST SELLER* BEAUTIFUL#212FROM BEHIND *BEST SELLER**BESTBURN#360INHELLSELLER* INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
LOVE FrIenDSHiP
24 SOMEONE#451LIKE YOU
+
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. RAINBOW#429HEARTS#176 ROLL WITH YOU *BEST SELLER* VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM BECAUSE#304YOU SNORE *BEST SELLER*
25 LOVE + FrIenDSHiP All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #298 EXCELLENT TASTE ANNIVERSARY #245 REMEMBERED OUR ANNIVERSARY DESERVE#372YOU (THANKS FOR SETTLING.) mmmmade.nearmoderndisaster.cominn.c.-style#242 A6 CARD FILES HAVE BEEN DRAGGED IN, CENTERED, RESIZED TO 90%. TEXT ON BACK OF CARD POSITIONED TO 1/2” ABOVE CARD BOTTOM. MAKE SURE TO ADJUST BLACKS FOR CMYK! #242 OUT OF MY LEAGUEMAINTAINING#336RELATIONSHIP#244MEANTFOREACHOTHERANNIVERSARY#371AROUND NOW GODDAMN#316DAYDREAM
26 #447 LOVE THAT YOU LOVE BOOKS LOVE + FrIenDSHiP All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #481 MY FAVORITE BOOKWORM *NEW IN SPRING 2021* LOVE#463THEUSPS#443 DIFFERENT TASTE IN MUSIC VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
27 #445 DRESSES WITH POCKETS LOVE + FrIenDSHiP All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. AGGRESSIVELY#358 PURSUE ADULT#446FRIENDS#293 TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
LOVE FrIenDSHiP
28 #416 BE A BETTER PERSON
+
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. COULDN'T#415DO BETTER #373 RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP #467 PUTTING UP WITH MY SHIT VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
29 LOVE + FrIenDSHiP All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #203 LOVE YOU TO THE MOONGOOD#333FORTUNE #221 SO MANY#286FEELINGS ONLY ONE FOR ME #374 LIKE YOU MORE EVERY DAY WITH#317MYFACEHATEMAGICAL#223UNICORN#417THESAMETHINGS
LOVE FrIenDSHiP
30 #418 BEST PERSON I KNOW
+
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #213 GLAD YOU EXIST WOO#273YOU#243 CLIMB YOU LIKE A TREE VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
31 #444 FAVORITE BAD DECISION LOVE + FrIenDSHiP All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #299 FOUND ON THE INTERNET mmmmade.nearmoderndisaster.cominn.c.-style#247 (IT SIGNIFICANTLY DECREASES MY CHANCES OF DYING ALONE AND BEING EATEN BY THE CAT.) A6 CARD FILES HAVE BEEN DRAGGED IN, CENTERED, RESIZED TO 90%. TEXT ON BACK OF CARD POSITIONED TO 1/2” ABOVE CARD BOTTOM. MAKE SURE TO ADJUST BLACKS FOR CMYK! EATEN#247BYTHE CAT*NEWBETTER#483FAMILYINSPRING2021* INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
32 LOVE + FrIenDSHiP All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. FOUL#314MOUTH#313 MARRIED FOR MY BODY MAKE#318OUT CITY #311 SEE YOU NAKED #285 SUPER #201ROMANTIC I LIKE YOUR FACE #448 TOP 10#284PEOPLE LOVE IS IN THE AIR
VALENTINE’S DAY
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style.
#411 SELLER*
#414 (VALENTINE'S
33 #412 CORPORATE AMERICA VALENTINE
VALENTINE'S DAY IS OVERRATED *BEST
WORLD IS SHIT
DAY) *BEST SELLER* #413 FIRST VALENTINE I SAW INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
BIRTHDAY
34 #404 YOU'RE ONLY YOUNG ONCE
*BEST SELLER* All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #487 FAVORITE FRIEND BIRTHDAY *NEW* TOILET#346BIRTHDAY*BESTSELLER*#332 BIRTHDAY AROUND NOW *BEST SELLER* VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
35 All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY#179 PYT madeintheusa-style #282.nearmoderndisaster.com@moderndisaster mmm BIRTHDAY#282GIVE A SHIT #309 PROPER ADULT BIRTHDAY #231 YOU BEING BORN #261 ANOTHER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY #345 ALL A YEAR OLDER *BEST SELLER* *BEST SELLER* *BEST SELLER*
BIRTHDAY
All A2 size. Blank $2.50 ea. Minimum
36 #438 IT'S YOUR FUCKING BIRTHDAY
cards are
inside.
6 per style. #454 CELEBRATE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU *BEST SELLER* #452 BEING YOUNG IS EXHAUSTING #437 BIRTHDAY WEEK ASSHOLE VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
BIRTHDAY
37 STUPID#268BIRTHDAY
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. YOU#210ARE OLD BIRTHDAY#156PIÑATA#302 ANOTHER YEAR. STILL ALIVE. INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
BIRTHDAY
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style.
A6 CARD FILES HAVE BEEN DRAGGED IN, CENTERED, RESIZED TO 90%. TEXT ON BACK OF CARD POSITIONED TO 1/2” ABOVE CARD BOTTOM. MAKE SURE TO ADJUST BLACKS FOR CMYK!
38
#403 FAVORITE CHILD BIRTHDAY #407 TIME SPENT TOGETHER FACEBOOK#230BIRTHDAY SIBLING#350BIRTHDAY VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
BIRTHDAY
39 #406 FREE FOOD PARTY
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. HOPPY#267BIRTHDAY #348 EXCUSE TO EAT CAKECELEBRATE#453YOU ANY DAY INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
BIRTHDAY
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style.
40 #408 GETTING OLDER TOGETHER
#328 ANOTHER TRIP AROUND THE SUN NEVER#410GLITTERREQUIRES#349A CARD VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
BIRTHDAY
41 FORGOT#347THE CARD
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #281 WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY #478 WORST BIRTHDAY EVER #477 BEST BIRTHDAY EVER INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style.
DISGUSTINGLY#270 PERFECT
WEDdING + engAGEMent SELLER*
A6 CARD FILES HAVE BEEN DRAGGED IN, CENTERED, RESIZED TO 90%. TEXT ON BACK OF CARD POSITIONED TO 1/2” ABOVE CARD BOTTOM. MAKE SURE TO ADJUST BLACKS FOR CMYK! AT
42 WED#384THESHIT
*BEST
*BEST SELLER*
#232 DRUNK
YOUR WEDDING *BEST SELLER* #355 DUMB SHIT WEDDING *BEST SELLER* VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
WEDdING + engAGEMent
All
43
cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #354 TALKING ABOUT YOUR WEDDING #352 MORE EXCITED WEDDING #296 HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM #241 WHEN ARE YOU HAVING A BABY?
WEDdING + engAGEMent
44 #441 NOT A BEACH WEDDING
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. MARRIED#278ON A FARM #442 SAD TO MISS YOUR WEDDING #351 TAKE ME ON YOUR HONEYMOON VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
WEDdING + engAGEMent A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per
45 madeintheusa-style #277.nearmoderndisaster.com@moderndisaster mmm
All cards are
style. ENGAGED#343LADIES ENGAGED#344 GUYS #277 FINALLY! (RAINBOW WEDDING) INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
46 made in the usa - style .nearmoderndisaster.com#338@moderndisastermmm NAMED#338AFTER ME bABy All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. BURRITO#269BABY*BESTSELLER* CONGRATS#485BABY BLOCKS *NEW IN SPRING 2021* #383 OOH BABY BABY VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
47 COOL#394IN-LAWS bABy All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #440 MAKE A GREAT PARENT #259 BETTER DRESSED BABYDEFINITELY#395THE FRIEND INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
48 BABY#398AGAIN! bABy All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. TWO-FOR-ONE#397 DEAL #439 MISSING PIECE OF PUZZLE #396 LUCKY KID ADOPTION VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
49 #482 HOLY SHIT BOUGHT A HOUSE EVeryDAY *NEW IN SPRING 2021* All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. FANCY#488NEW JOB *NEW* #287 OH HELL NO #288 OH HELL YES INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
50 #490 FOR FUCK'S SAKE EVeryDAY *NEW* All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. WELL,#489SHIT*NEW* #492 HOLY FUCKING SHIT *NEW* #491 I HEAR SWEARING HELPS *NEW* VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style.
#276 THE ACTUAL FUCKING EVERYTHING SELLER*
51 EVeryDAY
WHAT
FUCK? #421 OVARIES ARE ASSHOLES #462 SHIT IS FUCKED UP *BEST SELLER* #315 FUCK
*BEST
INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
SyMPATHY A2 size. $2.50 ea.
EPICALLY#484SHITTY TIME
52
*NEW IN SPRING 2021* All cards are
Blank inside.
Minimum 6 per style. #493 RUN OUT OF *NEW*SWEARS #422 DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY #479 SIMPLE PET SYMPATHY VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
EnCOUraGeMENt
53 IMPERFECTLY#464PERFECT
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #494 GOING TO CRUSH THIS *NEW* #389 DON'T FUCK THIS UPBEST#388OFLUCK! INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
MISs YOU
All size. $2.50 ea.
54
cards are A2
Blank inside.
Minimum 6 per style. #496 MISS YOU ALREADYMISSMIST#495YOU#174YOURFACE *NEW**BEST*NEW*SELLER* #109 MISS YOUR STUPID FACE VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
MISs
55 #359 SEE YOUR FUCKING FACE
YOU All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #465 RUN IN SLOW MOTION *BEST SELLER* #480 MIDDLE SEAT MISS YOU *NEW IN SPRING 2021* #154 NO YOU HANG UP FIRST INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
THANK YOU
56 #199 THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. INTERPRETIVE#295 THANKS *BEST SELLER* FANCY#258MANNERS#392 COULDN'T HAVE WITHOUT YOU VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
THANK YOU + COngRAts
57
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #391 WTF WITHOUT YOU? WARRANTED#393 A CARD #450 CHAMPION OF THE MF UNIVERSE *BEST SELLER* *BEST SELLER* KILLIN#341 IT *BEST SELLER* INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
COngRAts
58 DESERVE#390ADRINK
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #386 MEGA FUCKING CONGRATS! DESERVE#420A PIZZA #419 DESERVE AN ICE CREAM CAKE VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
59 GraDuATIoN All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #382 LOUSY GRADUATION SELECTION STUDENT#381LOAN DEATH #249 FINALLY! (GRADUATION) CERTIFICATE#342ORFANCY HAT INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
MOmS DAds
60 OFFSPRING#424 IOU
+
*BEST SELLER* All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #423 MY BEST TRAITS #426 LOVING ME UNCONDITIONALLY #425 LITERALLY WOULDN'T BE HERE VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
MOmS DAds
61 TOTALLY#290WINNING
+
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. KEEPING#334ME ALIVE #207 GIVING BIRTH TO MEADOPTING#250 ME INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
MOTHER’S dAy
All are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style.
62 #474 BEST PARTNER MOTHER'S DAY
*BEST SELLER*
cards
#473 MOTHER'S DAY SWEET FRIEND CELEBRATE#427 MOM #291 FAVORITE PARENT MOTHER VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
MOTHER’S dAy
63 MOTHER'S#379ACCIDENT
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #255 PRETTY GREAT MOM *BEST SELLER* #326 GOT YOU A CARD MOM #206 MOM'S FAVORITE CHILD *BEST SELLER* INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
64 MOTHER'S#377DAY SEX MOTHER’S dAy All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #375 FIRST MOTHER'S DAY #252 TWO MOMS ARE BETTER THAN ONEADDITIONAL#324HOLIDAY MOM VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
FATHER’S DaY
65 CELEBRATE#428 DAD
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #475 BEST PARTNER FATHER'S DAY *BEST SELLER* #327 GOT YOU A CARD DADFATHER'S#380ACCIDENT INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
FATHER’S DaY
66 #292 FAVORITE PARENT FATHER
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #205 DAD'S FAVORITE CHILD *BEST SELLER* ADDITIONAL#325HOLIDAY DADPRETTY#254GREAT DAD *BEST SELLER* VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
67 FATHER'S#378DAY SEX FATHER’S DaY All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #376 FIRST FATHER'S DAY #253 TWO DADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE #251 MY TWO DADS INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
HOLIDAY
68 #498 EXTRA GRATEFUL HOLIDAY
*NEW* All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #497 MERRY CHRISMUKKAH!*NEW* #500 WHERE THE F DID THIS YEAR GO *NEW* #499 READY FOR A *NEW*DO-OVER VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
HOLIDAY
69 CHRISTMAS#430MIRACLE
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. CHRISTMAS#456NORMALCY*BESTSELLER* HOPPY#266HOLIDAYS#461 WORLD IS SHIT (HOLIDAYS) *BEST SELLER* INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
HOLIDAY
70 #170 THIS WILL BE OUR YEAR
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. CHRISTMAS#370 TOILET *BESTPIZZA#265TREESELLER*WHISKEY#271SEASON VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
HOLIDAY
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style.
#459
IS IT OVER YET?
*BEST SELLER*
#455
IF IT KILLS ME
*BEST SELLER*
#431 ANOTHER YEAR OF THIS SHIT
#366
END OF THE YEAR AS WE KNOW IT
71
INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
HOLIDAY
72 HOLIDAY#433 PIE
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. HOLIDAY#405BIRTHDAY #458 CARDS FROM THEIR PET #399 DOGS IN SWEATERS VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
HOLIDAY
73 HOLIDAY#369BOOZE
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. #457 TOGETHER FOR THE HOLIDAYS #432 SOCIAL CONVENTION INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM #308 PROPER ADULT HOLIDAY
HANUkKAh
74 #364 LOUSY HANUKKAH SELECTION
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. HANUKKAH#434MOTHER HANUKKAH#363AROUND NOW *BEST SELLER* #402 LITTLE LIKE HANUKKAH VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
STatE-sPeciFIC HOLiDAY
All cards are A2 size. Blank inside. $2.50 ea. Minimum 6 per style. Interested custom holiday cards for your city or state? Let’s chat! WARM WISHES FROM FLORIDA HOLIDAY
75 #368 WARM WISHES FROM CALIFORNIA
#367
#436 NY MAGICAL CHRISTMAS #435 NY EXPENSIVE
INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
Durable, weatherproof, waterproof, dishwasher safe, all the things. Made of scratch-resistant matte vinyl. Stickers measure 3” on the longest side. $1.50 each. Minimum 6 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging.
76
VINYL DIE CUT STICKERS COFFEEVACCINATED#ST-951#ST-949COFFEEEYE#ST-947LOVELANGUAGE COFFEEGODDAMN#ST-911UNICORN#ST-948TEALOVELANGUAGE#ST-914SPIRITANIMAL ICEDMAGICAL#ST-927UNICORN#ST-939TEASPIRITANIMAL#ST-957COFFEESEASON VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM *BEST SELLER* *NEW IN SPRING 2021* *BEST SELLER**NEW IN SPRING 2021*
77 Durable, weatherproof, waterproof, dishwasher safe, all the things. Made of scratch-resistant matte vinyl. Stickers measure 3” on the longest side. $1.50 each. Minimum 6 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging. VINYL DIE CUT STICKERS CAT#ST-930INBOX#ST-956 FAKE PLANTS NEVER DIE DOGS#ST-962AREBETTER WHATCATS#ST-961AREBETTER#ST-955THEFUCCULENT#ST-932HEARTDOGS IHEART#ST-931CATS#ST-921KILLPLANTS#ST-963CAN I PET YOUR DOG? *BEST *BEST*NEW*SELLER*SELLER**NEW IN SPRING 2021* *BEST SELLER* *NEW IN SPRING 2021* *NEW IN SPRING 2021* *NEW IN SPRING 2021* INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
78 FINGERS#ST-923CROSSED STRING#ST-924FINGEROH#ST-925HELLYES OH#ST-926HELLNO Durable, weatherproof, waterproof, dishwasher safe, all the things. Made of scratch-resistant matte vinyl. Stickers measure 3” on the longest side. $1.50 each. Minimum 6 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging. VINYL DIE CUT STICKERS #ST-915 FUCK#ST-953EVERYTHING SHIT IS FUCKED UP #ST-946 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? SPEAK#ST-917UP! OVARIES#ST-950AREASSHOLES#ST-945IFITKILLSME VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM *BEST SELLER* *NEW IN SPRING 2021*
79 Durable, weatherproof, waterproof, dishwasher safe, all the things. Made of scratch-resistant matte vinyl. Stickers measure 3” on the longest side. $1.50 each. Minimum 6 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging. VINYL DIE CUT STICKERS INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM BOOKBOOKWORM#ST-959#ST-941USPSLOVE#ST-933WASBETTER LOVEBOOK#ST-934PILE#ST-937LETTER#ST-960JUST ONE MORE PAGE #ST-958 READ MORE MAILBOX#ST-936BOOKS#ST-964ASK ME WHAT I'M READING *NEW IN SPRING 2021* *NEW* *BEST SELLER* *NEW IN SPRING 2021* *NEW IN SPRING 2021* *BEST SELLER*
Durable, weatherproof, waterproof, dishwasher safe, all the things. Made of scratch-resistant matte vinyl. Stickers measure 3” on the longest side. $1.50 each. Minimum 6 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging.
80
VINYL DIE CUT STICKERS #ST-942 THIS WILL BE OUR YEAR #ST-954 THE WORST ALWAYS#ST-938RIBBONTIRED GARBAGERAINBOW#ST-944HEARTS#ST-922PERSON#ST-952ISITOVERYET? CHAMPHEART#ST-935SUNGLASSES#ST-965OFTHEMFUNIVERSE#ST-916THROUGHWITHPEOPLE VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM *NEW* *NEW IN SPRING 2021* *NEW IN SPRING 2021*
81 Durable, weatherproof, waterproof, dishwasher safe, all the things. Made of scratch-resistant matte vinyl. Stickers measure 3” on the longest side. $1.50 each. Minimum 6 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging. VINYL DIE CUT STICKERS #ST-919 I HATE#ST-913SUMMER PIZZA BEER TRUE LOVE #ST-918 ICE CREAM FOR DINNER #ST-920 I HATE#ST-912WINTER OUT OF YOUR #ST-928LEAGUEPRETZEL GODDAMN#ST-943DRINK#ST-940MAKEOUTCITY#ST-929DONUT INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
FRIDGE
Magnets measure 2” x 3”. $2.50 ea. Minimum 4 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging.
82
MAGNETS
THISFUCK#MAG-810EVERYTHING#MAG-804WILLBEOURYEAR GODDAMN#MAG-801UNICORN MAGICAL#MAG-819UNICORN VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM *BEST SELLER* *BEST SELLER* #MAG-821 CHAMP OF THE MF UNIVERSE ACTUAL SIZE *BEST SELLER*
83INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM FRIDGE MAGNETS GODDAMN#MAG-806DRINK#MAG-816 ICE CREAM FOR DINNERJUST#MAG-807ORDERPIZZA*BESTSELLER* Magnets measure 2” x 3”. $2.50 ea. Minimum 4 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging. #MAG-822 I KILL PLANTS #MAG-823SPEAKUP! #MAG-817 COFFEE IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL #MAG-818 TEA IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
84 FRIDGE MAGNETS BOOK#MAG-820WASBETTERHATE#MAG-815WINTERHATE#MAG-814SUMMER Magnets measure 2” x 3”. $2.50 ea. Minimum 4 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging. LOVE#MAG-824LETTER MAKE#MAG-825OUTCITY #MAG-812CATLOVE DOG#MAG-813LOVE VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
Magnets measure 2” x 3”. $2.50 ea. Minimum 4 per style. Shipped loose / no retail packaging.
85 FRIDGE MAGNETS DON'TOH#MAG-809HELLNO#MAG-811FTHISUPOVARIESOH#MAG-808HELLYES#MAG-805AREASSHOLESTHROUGHONLY#MAG-803YOUNGONCE#MAG-802WITHPEOPLE
INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
86 SUMMERCOFFEE#PIN-720EYE#PIN-726LOVE WINTER#PIN-705WHISKEY#PIN-727LOVEISPIRITCOFFEE#PIN-703ISMYANIMAL#PIN-707HATESUMMER #PIN-709 TEA IS MY SPIRIT #PIN-708ANIMAL I HATE WINTER Pins vary in size from 1” to 1.25”. $5.00 ea. Minimum 4 per style. Pins are packaged on a small backing card in a zip-top clear bag with hanging hole. ENAMeL PInS GODDAMN#PIN-717UNICORN#PIN-730OHHELLYES FUCK#PIN-725EVERYTHING#PIN-731OHHELLNO *BENEFITSNOTSPEAK#PIN-724UP!#PIN-712YOURTYPECHARITY**BEST SELLER**BEST SELLER* *BEST SELLER* VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
87 (STRINGDON’TBOOZE#PIN-716HEART#PIN-729FORGETFINGER) FINGERSNOT#PIN-706INTERESTED#PIN-728CROSSEDFOOD#PIN-710HEART#PIN-721IKILLPLANTS OUTCANDY#PIN-711HEART#PIN-723OFYOURLEAGUE Pins vary in size from 1” to 1.25”. $5.00 ea. Minimum 4 per style. Pins are packaged on a small backing card in a zip-top clear bag with hanging hole. ENAMeL PInS *BEST SELLER* *BEST SELLER* INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM THROUGH#PIN-714WITHPEOPLE STUPID#PIN-715BIRTHDAYPIZZA#PIN-704BEER GARBAGE#PIN-713PERSON *BEST SELLER*
88 Our mini cards measure 2.5” x 3.5” - the perfect size to hold a standard gift card! Paired with kraft envelopes in clear sleeves. Blank inside. $1.25 ea. Minimum 6 per style. MInI ENcLOSUre CARDs #S-118 LITTLE CARD BIG DEAL #S-112 NOT A GIFT CARD #S-130 SO HAPPY FOR YOU! THOUGHT#S-105THAT COUNTS BEST#S-122OFLUCK!#S-123JUST WHAT YOU WANTED FANCY#S-111REGISTRY #S-129 BUY YOUR OWN GIFT
Our mini cards measure 2.5” x 3.5” - the perfect size to hold a standard gift card! Paired with kraft envelopes in clear sleeves. Blank inside. $1.25 ea. Minimum 6 per style. CARDs
89
MInI ENcLOSUre
GODDAMN#S-104UNICORN#S-113LITTLETHANKYOU OH#S-106HELLYES #S-106 BEING#S-114AFRIEND OH#S-125HELLNO#S-115THX*BEST SELLER* *BEST SELLER* SORRY#S-119 #S-120 I FUCKED UP *BEST SELLER*
Our mini cards measure 2.5” x 3.5” - the perfect size to hold a standard gift card! Paired with kraft in clear sleeves. Blank inside. $1.25 ea. Minimum 6 per style.
90
envelopes
MInI ENcLOSUre CARDs WASDIDN'T#S-116FORGET#S-126YOURBIRTHDAY BIRTHDAYSTUPID#S-117BIRTHDAY#S-127AROUNDNOW ONLYYOU#S-108AREOLD#S-128YOUNGONCE#S-107 BDAY GIVE A SHIT #S-109 YOU BEING BORN
91 Our mini cards measure 2.5” x 3.5” - the perfect size to hold a standard gift card! Paired with kraft envelopes in clear sleeves. Blank inside. $1.25 ea. Minimum 6 per style. MInI ENcLOSUre CARDs BURRITOOUR#S-124YEAR#S-110BABY OOHPIZZA#S-101TREE#S-121BABYBABY! WHISKEY#S-102SEASON#S-131RAINBOWHEARTS*BEST SELLER* *BEST SELLER* #S-132 WARM WINTER WISHES PROPER#S-103ADULT
NOTEPADS
Notepads on this page measure 4” x 6.75”. 50 sheets per pad. $4.00 ea. Minimum 4 per style.
92 #NP-008 DO IT BEFORE THE WEEKEND #NP-003 STUFF I FORGOT TO DO YESTERDAY
*BEST SELLER*
VIEW OUR CURRENT CATALOG ANYTIME AT WWW.NEARMODERNDISASTER.COM
NOTEPADS
Notepads on this page measure 4” x 9”. 50 sheets per pad. $4.00 ea. Minimum 4 per style.
93 #NP-002 TO BUY : MOUTH / NON-MOUTH THINGS #NP-001 TO DO : AFTER COFFEE / AFTER ALCOHOL
INITIAL ORDERS - $150 MINIMUM. SUBSEQUENT ORDERS - $100 MINIMUM
PROdUCt + ORDErinG deTaILS
PRINTING & PACKAGING:
Greeting Cards and Enclosure Cards are digitally offset printed in the USA on FSC-certified cover stock. All cards are blank inside and paired with 100% recycled brown kraft envelopes. Cards are packaged in clear open-top cello sleeves. (Available unsleeved at buyer request.)
Vinyl Die-Cut Stickers and Fridge Magnets are manufactured in the USA and are sold with no additional retail packaging.
Enamel Pins are manufactured in China. Pins are packaged with a small backing card in clear hang-top zip bags for easy display. (Available without bags at buyer request.)
Notepads are offset printed in the USA on 70# paper stock with a rigid chipboard backer. Pads are packaged in clear sealed-top sleeves. (Not available unpackaged.)
PRICING, MINIMUMS, & PAYMENT:
Initial orders - $150 min. Subsequent orders - $100 min. Payment charged when order ships.
Greeting Cards $2.50 ea - min 6 per style
Vinyl Die-Cut Stickers $1.50 ea - min 6 per style
Fridge Magnets $2.50 ea - min 4 per style
Enamel Pins ................................... $5.00 ea - min 4 per style
Mini Enclosure Cards $1.25 ea - min 6 per style
Notepads $4.00 ea - min 4 per style
SHIPPING & TURNAROUND:
All orders ship within 2 business days via USPS Priority Mail unless otherwise specified. Orders that do not fit into USPS boxes ship FedEx Ground. Buyer is responsible for all shipping costs.
SELLING ONLINE:
We’re thrilled to have NMD products sold in your shop - be it brick and mortar, online, or both! For online listings, please credit Near Modern Disaster as the maker. Need product images for your site? You can always find them at www.nearmoderndisaster.com/catalog
ORDERING:
NMD works with a number of sales reps across the country. Please order with your local rep. In non-rep territories, please order online at nearmoderndisaster.faire.com or email your order details to wholesale@nearmoderndisaster.com
