IT’S DREAMS... IT’S LOVE... IT’S DRAMA... IT’S
IS YOUR FUTURE A LOVE STORY?
T
his comic is called Heart to Heart because it is all about being true to your heart, and about creating the future with the ones you love. Heart to Heart began in 1990 when a super cool student teacher, called Tricia, went to teach at Magwagwaza High School in Acornhoek, Mpumalanga. Here she invited the young people of Acornhoek to help her create a comic story. They decided to make a love story about life in a rural village, and they called it Dream Love. You can read Dream Love on pages 1 - 9.
Back in the city of Johannesburg, Tricia showed the story to her friends Pete, Izzy and Justin. She asked them to help her turn the story into a comic so that other young people could read and enjoy it. They liked Dream Love - they thought the story was “true to life” - but they were disappointed that the story didn’t offer solutions to some of the relationship problems that young people experience. For example, they did not understand why the young people had chosen an ending in which a beautiful young woman had to let go of her career dreams to marry a man who was not faithful to her. Was this really a happy ending? Tricia did not want to change the Dream Love story by herself, so she went back to Magwagwaza High School to ask the students to help her. Tricia and the young people acted out scenes from Dream Love to help them think of new possibilities for the story. On pages 12 - 18 you can see the students
roleplaying and arguing together, trying to find a story in which Tintswalo could remain true to herself. These role plays gave birth to a new story they called True Love (pages 19 - 28). Check it out! Being loved and learning how to love can be confusing in a world where the choices we make NOW can limit our dreams for the FUTURE. The young people of Acornhoek learnt that it is possible to use our heads and our hearts to make choices that will not trap us, but will allow us to fulfil our dreams.
CREATE YOUR OWN FUTURE!
W
e hope you enjoy reading, comparing and thinking about these stories. We also hope you are inspired to act out and make your own love story because, as this comic shows, there is no one story that can speak for everyone! At the end of the comic there are some games that you can enjoy with your friends to help you think about your own future. Playing these games together can help you to discover your individual dreams, and help each other make the choices that will satisfy the best in you. Enjoy! CREDITS Scriptwriters: Tricia Watson and Peter Esterhuysen. Storyboards: Tricia Watson, Justin Wells and Peter Esterhuysen. Dream Love and True Love artwork: Justin Wells. Students’ Story artwork: Israel Mashigo. Production co-ordination: Gill Mc Dowell. SPECIAL THANKS To the teachers and students of Magwagwaza High, to the Department of Applied English Language Studies at the University of the Witwatersrand and to the Liberty Life Foundation for their assistance in developing Heart to Heart. Published by The Storyteller Group, PO Box 617, Melville, 2109. Tel: (011) 482-3008. Fax: (011) 726-1632. © The Storyteller Group, 1994 - 1998. E-mail: storyteller.group@pop.onwe.co.za ISBN 0-9583890-1-2
One day in Timbavati village...
Today we’ll feast and dance and have lots of xikhapakhapa!*
Magezi’s marrying the beautiful Tintswalo.
Aai, now we’ve let a rich pair of trousers slip off our fingers.
Halilili...
I’m going to be Magezi’s wife!
Ya, the wife of Mister Bunn’s Stores... you’ll get smart clothes, a house. You’re so lucky! Oh, Mamazala*, you must be happy for your son. He’s marrying a strong makoti* who will help you.
Aagh suka!* She hasn’t finished school, and she brings me Magezi’s child.
I don’t want this xitlakati* here! She marries for his money! * xikhapakhapa – homemade beer * Mamazala – mother-in-law * makoti – daughter-in-law
* Aagh suka! – (Go away!) Aagh nonsense! * xitlakati – discardable rag
1
Inside Tintswalo’s room...
And, Tintswalo, Magezi is so handsome and charming.
You know, Lindi, ever since I was a young girl I admired Magezi.
But he didn’t notice me, until that special day at the market last year.
Hayi suka! I’m not an old man.
Tintswalo tells Lindi how she fell in love with Magezi.
Wowa! Who’s that beautiful babe?
That’s Tintswalo. Watch out, she’s too young for you.
Avuxeni,* Tintswalo!
Magezi, you think every woman will drop at your feet. Shh, man! My heart’s doing the talking. This girl’s for me.
*
Oh, Magezi’s so handsome!
Avuxeni – Good morning
2
Tintswalo! Magezi’s calling you.
Magezi and Tintswalo enjoyed many things together. Their love began to grow and grow.
One month later...
Tintswalo, do you love me? Oh yes, Magezi, with all my heart!
I love you too. Let’s do it! But it’s...
Please, Magezi, not yet!
No buts, lovely girl. Our love will grow stronger.
I do... That night they had sex for the first time.
Don’t you love me?
3
Three weeks later at Club Mauritius Mshini...
Magezi said he’d meet me here at 7 o’ clock.
He’s late again. Let’s go and dance.
Oh NO! Look...
Magezi! What are you doing?
But you were kissing Mafresh and everything!
Come dance, sweetie.
4
I’m just passing time waiting for you, sweetie.
One month later at the clinic...
What is Magezi going to say?
I’ve just got the results, Tintswalo. You are pregnant.
Tintswalo told Magezi.
Don’t lie! Women like you get pregnant to catch a husband!
No! It’s yours. Only yours.
Get out of my shop!
Whose baby is it, hey? One of your other boyfriends?
Tintswalo’s heart was broken.
Magezi’s heart was troubled. He asked Tintswalo’s friends if she had been squeezing any other guys.
Pepe, I want to know the truth.
No way! She didn’t even speak to the other boys at school.
Magezi, she only has eyes for you.
Tintswalo has been faithful. It is my baby!
No. She’s too shy to flirt around.
5
A few weeks later Magezi visited Tintswalo to apologise.
Tintswalo, I’ve been thinking about you and the baby.
After Nyiko was born, Magezi and Tintswalo set the wedding date.
And, Tintswalo, today’s your special day!
Don’t look so worried, lovely girl. I will care for you and the baby. I promise.
Can I trust him? He has treated me badly.
No. He says I must respect his mother.
Does Magezi stand by you?
But Mamazala’s not happy about my wedding. I’ll work hard in the house. One day she’ll be pleased I’m Magezi’s wife.
But what about school and your dream of becoming a social worker?
I’ve given up that dream.
Mamazala won’t look after Nyiko. And Magezi wants a wife who will stay at home. But, sisi...
It’s okay, sisi, being with Magezi will make it all worthwhile!
6
Meanwhile Magezi arrives to meet his band at the big wedding tent.
Heyta magitas! * Today I marry the most beautiful woman in the village.
Congratulations, Magezi! You’re a lucky man!
This marrying business is too much mali*; there’s lobola*, then presents and then the wedding feasts...
* Heyta magitas! - Hi gents! * mali - money * lobola - bridal price, dowry
Tintswalo’s a hardworking woman.
Sure this wedding cost me, but it didn’t break me!
7
And we never see her flirting.
Ya, you’re Mr Bunn’s Stores!
She’ll be a good wife.
You’ve got no problem with mali.
Hey, guys, look...
November ...
december ...
And available to men with mali.
Now there’s a girl worth chasing!
november!
Not today. It’s my wedding day. Mafresh’s calling you, Magezi!
She’s fresh, Mafresh.
Go on, Magezi! Avuxeni, beautiful girl.
I hope you won’t forget me, now that you’re getting married. Ayee.
Magezi walks over to Mafresh.
8
No. Later, Mafresh, later.
Let your rhythms fill the village all night long.
Lindi, I can hear the music. The time has come to marry the man of my dreams.
The whole village came to celebrate Magezi and Tintswalo’s wedding.
I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride. Halilili! Halilili! Halilili!
You’re all mine now, Tintswalo. Ndza ku rhandza. *
* Ndza ku rhandza - I love you.
9
At the Storyteller Group studio in Johannesburg... “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
Do you think Tintswalo will be happy, Tricia?
This comic’s unfair and... and sexist! We can’t leave it as it is.
This story came mostly from the boys.
“You’re all mine now, Tintswalo...”
No way, Pete! She’s given up her own dreams for Magezi.
And he will break her heart playing around with Mafresh.
But this is the students’ story that we workshopped last year in Acornhoek.
Izzy and Justin, don’t you think stories need to challenge the way we see ourselves and the world?
JA!
Ja, but the girls went along with what the boys said.
10
We can’t change their story!
JA! And this story’s not doing that!
“Dream Love” is just like the stories on TV or radio and in magazines.
The hero and heroine don’t work out their problems, but still everything ends happily.
But people don’t like unhappy endings.
Yislaaik! What are we going to do?
We could take the comic back to the students.
And Izzy, we could use drama to explore the sexism in the story.
YOW!
Acting the story might help the girls to speak out. The students may even want to make changes, Tricia.
That will be their choice, Justin...
But whatever happens, we can make another story and publish both.
That’s a good idea! I’ll contact the students.
11
But what if the students don’t want to change the story?
OH NO! More work...
A few months later the Storyteller team returns to Acornhoek.
Look! The teachers are on a wage strike.
Do you think the students will still attend the workshops?
Let’s wait and see...
Half of the students who helped us make the “Dream Love” story came to the workshops - with 15 more friends!
We met the principal at Magwagwaza High School.
The students will meet you tomorrow at the school hall.
Nkomo.*
First we played warm-up games...
“November, december, november!”
Everyone... bum-to-bum!
Then we all read the “Dream Love” comic.
* Nkomo - Thank you
12
Thanks, Andre. Take Magezi’s cap. And, Valentine, take Tintswalo’s shawl.
Let’s do the scene where Magezi asks Tintswalo if they can have sex.
On the second day of the workshop we roleplayed scenes from the “Dream Love” story.
Who wants to act as Magezi? Show us what you would do if you were Magezi and Tintswalo.
Er... Tintswalo, we’ve been going out for a month now... and I must ask you something.
Yes, Magezi, what is it? I don’t know how you’ll take it... but... can we have sex together?
Yes I do.
I don’t know who the right man is. I must wait.
I can’t. I don’t feel ready for sex.
But you said you fell in love with ME!
Do you really love me?
But why say you love me, if you don’t want sex?
You can take the PILL.
We can use a condom... Yes. Hmm, but...
Magezi, I don’t want to fall pregnant.
Won’t it make me fat?
13
Tell me, will you ever in your life be able to have sex with me?
But when?
One day, when I’m ready.
But, Tintswalo I mean Valentine that’s not how it is in “Dream Love”!
I will...
In this drama Tintswalo does not want to have sex with Magezi.
Does the group agree with this change?
I think Tintswalo should give Magezi sex.
Why?
Because Magezi takes her out to eat! So if I agree to go to Lucky Star with you for a drink, does that mean I must also sleep with you?
As a man I’m not accustomed to loving a lady without kissing her, buying her a drink, and... urr... having sex. But you can love her without doing that other thing!
That’s part of the deal!
These girls don’t know what love is! They just love a man for his beauty or his money!
Huh! Do boys know what love is?
14
They only love for SEX!
Don’t believe them! Some of these girls are doing that devilish thing!
Which girls would like their boyfriends to love them without having sex?
So what does a girl want from me if I say I love her and she agrees?
It’s true! And there are some girls, if you don’t make sex with them, they just leave you.
Yes, LOVE!! It’s giving, sharing, understanding each other, planning for the future...
LOVE!
It became clear that the boys and the girls held different expectations about dating and falling in love.
LOVE!?? Most of the groups acted out the Club Mauritius scene as it is in the “Dream Love” story. On the third day of the workshop we broke into smaller groups. Each group roleplayed the Club Mauritius scene.
Magezi! What are you doing?
Err... just passing time waiting for you, Tintswalo.
But one group changed the story. They made Tintswalo cheat on Magezi!
Tintswalo! Who’s this other blerry guy?
Oh... Magezi! This is Themba.
Is he also your boyfriend?
Yes, err... I love both of you.
15
But, Magezi, what about Mafresh? Do you also love her?
Themba, she is cheating on both of us!
BEAT HER!
Yes, of course!
What can we do?
You can cheat on Tintswalo, but you want her to be faithful to you?
Of course she must be faithful!
But you’re not faithful.
No! I’m a man... I’m the head of the family. I make the rules!
The roleplay ended in a very heated discussion!
It’s unfair of you to expect your girlfriend to be faithful when you’re not!
But a man needs more than one woman to satisfy his needs.
No! One person can satisfy you very well.
One man, one woman it’s the rule to enter the ark.
No! The problem is caused by the boys. They cheat, so the girls also do it.
I believe the girls start the cheating. They’re not satisfied with what they’ve got.
16
But a girl doesn’t have a good way of telling you that she no longer loves you. She just falls for another guy.
But what if she hasn’t found another guy? What if she’s just fallen out of love with you?
But if you tell him you’ve stopped loving him he’ll beat you!
If a girl falls out of love with me, it means she’s found another guy, that’s why I beat her.
My girlfriend must refuse to love me from the start if she knows that one day she’ll stop loving me.
A woman does not have the right to tell me she no longer loves me.
But at school they beat us if we don’t do our homework and the next day we do it. So if you punish a girl she’ll learn her lesson.
If she does, I’ve got the right to beat her.
But if I don’t love you any more, you can’t force me to love you by beating me.
No! You can beat her body, but you cannot change her mind.
The argument raged on and on...
I say men and women should solve their problems using their heads and their hearts.
Never, ever trust a woman!
Well, men will always be unfaithful!
17
After the workshops, we were all very tired. That night we all slept really well.
The next day...
The workshops were fun hey, Izzy!
We’ll have to choose.
Yebo Justin, but have we found another love story?
Guys, we found so many different stories...
One thing’s for sure, we got more than one side of the love story.
What do you mean?
But the girls had such different ideas from the boys. And the girls couldn’t ever agree amongst themselves.
Well, the girls told us what they think about love and sex and so did the boys.
The boys also could not agree. Everyone has problems talking about love and sex. Later...
Oh, I’ll never understand boys!
The next story must show that Tintswalo can make her own choices!
Well, I’ll never understand girls!
Stop arguing! What ARE we going to do in the next story? On the road again...
So will Magezi also change in the next story?
And will Magezi and Tintswalo still get married?
That’ll depend on how he responds to the new Tintswalo!
We’ll have to wait and see.
18
Back at the Storyteller Group, Pete and Tricia watched the workshop videos. They thought about all the things the students had said. And after many weeks of hard work they made a new story...
One day in Timbavati village...
Today we’ll feast and dance and have lots of xikhapakhapa!
Magezi’s marrying the beautiful Tintswalo.
Aai, now we’ve let a rich pair of trousers slip off our fingers.
Halilili...
I’m going to be Magezi’s wife.
Ya, the wife of Mister Bunn’s Stores... you’ll get smart clothes, a house. You’re so lucky! Oh, Mamazala, you must be happy for your son. He’s marrying a strong makoti who will help you.
Hayi suka! She hasn’t finished school and she brings me Magezi’s child.
I don’t want this xitlakati here! She marries for his money!
19
Inside Tintswalo’s room...
Tintswalo, wake up!
Hmm?
Oh... hi, Lindi. I was dreaming I was marrying Magezi.
Mamazala was angry and I had a baby. And, Lindi, you were helping me dress for my wedding. Magezi! That’s the dream guy you told me about.
Haai, Magezi’s not my dream guy!
But I thought you loved him?
I do love him, that’s the problem.
Hayi suka! I’m not an old man.
Tintswalo tells Lindi how she fell in love with Magezi...
Wowa! Who’s that beautiful babe?
That’s Tintswalo. Watch out, she’s too young for you.
Magezi, you think every woman will drop at your feet.
Oh, Magezi’s so handsome!
Avuxeni, Tintswalo! Shh, man! My heart’s doing the talking. This girl’s for me.
20
Tintswalo! Magezi’s calling you.
Tintswalo and Magezi enjoyed many things together. Their love began to grow and grow.
One month later...
I love you too. Let’s do it!
Tintswalo, do you love me? Oh yes, Magezi, with all my heart!
But it’s...
No buts, lovely girl. Our love will grow stronger.
Please, Magezi, not yet!
Don’t you love me?
I do... But I don’t feel ready for sex!
But we’ve been going out for one month already!
Yes, we’re friends!
Friends! We’re not just friends. This is a love affair!
21
Why do you think I take you to Lucky Star, hey? You’re playing games!
But, Tintswalo, I love you. You don’t love me. You just want sex!
You’re wrong!
But when are we going to do it?
Tintswalo, I’ve got desires... I want us to make love. Don’t you?
I don’t know, Magezi... I don’t know.
Tintswalo, I love you so much, I’ll even wear a condom.
Look! We can make love right now. No! Stop! I’m just not ready.
Oh, Magezi...
22
I do. But I’m not ready... I’m afraid I will get pregnant.
Back in Tintswalo’s room...
Jokwasi just takes me when he wants sex, even if I don’t feel like it!
What happened then?
You’ve got the right to say NO!
But, Lindi, BOTH of you must want it.
Magezi listened to me. He didn’t force me to have sex.
My mother says if he beats me, it means he loves me.
Hayi khona!* Jokwasi would beat me!
NO! I don’t believe that.
If he beats you, it means he just cares about what HE wants.
Later, outside Tintswalo’s room...
So, Tintswalo, have you and Magezi ever... you know... had sex?
If he loves you, he wouldn’t want to hurt you.
A few months later, when I felt ready, we started making love.
And...? It was nca!*
Shh...
* Hayi khona! – No way! * nca! – sharp!
23
I thought Magezi was “Mr Right”, until three weeks ago at Club Mauritius...
Tintswalo thought back to that terrible night.
Magezi said he’d meet me here at 7 o’ clock.
He’s late again. Let’s go and dance.
Oh NO! Look...
I’m just passing time waiting for you, sweetie.
Magezi! What are you doing?
But you were kissing Mafresh and everything! Is that passing time?
Come dance, sweetie.
No! I’m going home.
24
A few days later Tintswalo bumped into Magezi in the village.
Keep your nice words for Mafresh!
What do you mean? Ndza ku rhandza. Kiss me, sweetie... Hey, sweetie, why don’t I see you any more?
You’re cheating on me, and you call that love?
Magezi, it’s over. I can’t be yours any more.
NO!
But it’s you I love. Mafresh is just an old girlfriend. You’re my number 1.
Then why do you want to break up?
Oh, I get it! You’ve got another boyfriend!
No!
25
I bet he tells Mafresh the same thing.
Because I cannot trust you!
Magezi drove off.
Magezi’s heart was troubled. He asked Tintswalo’s friends if she had been squeezing any other guys.
Pepe, I want to know the truth.
No way! She didn’t even speak to the other guys at school.
No. She’s too shy to flirt around.
She must have another boyfriend!
You are right not to trust women.
Later, Magezi met his friend Noah at the Loa hotel.
Magezi, she only has eyes for you.
You want her to be faithful, Magezi, but you’re not faithful. Your unfaithful heart makes you doubt her, man.
But Noah, I’m a man. I can have other girlfriends, ne?
No, man, that’s rubbish!
But, Noah, if she’s not cheating on me, why does she want to break up?
One man, one woman. Can anyone do it?
Serious, Noah. Tintswalo’s my true love.
But... she won’t want you if you don’t change your cheating ways.
One person, one partner. It’s the rule to enter the ark!
26
Outside Tintswalo’s room.
I don’t know, Lindi. He’s coming round later. He says it’s important that we talk.
Oh, Tintswalo! He’s going to ask you to marry him.
Hayi khona! He wouldn’t dare! He knows I’m angry.
Is it really over between you and Magezi?
The best thing is to make him jealous. Find another guy. That’ll teach him!
But you forget, Magezi’s a rich guy. He’ll give you everything!
I don’t need his mali. I’m going to be a social worker one day.
But, Tintswalo, you’ll lose him!
No, Lindi! I don’t want to play games.
Marriage won’t make our problems go away!
What can I do?
27
Oh, Tintswalo, I dream of finding my true love one day.
I do too, Lindi. But what about all our other dreams?
That’s it! Shayile! * The job’s done. But we can’t end a love story like this!
Why not? Because we don’t know what’s going to happen between Tintswalo and Magesi.
Well, what do YOU think is going to happen?
* Shayile! – Work is over! 28
THINKING ABOUT LOOKING AT TINTSWALO’S RISKS
W
hat is the difference between the Tintswalo in the first story and the Tintswalo in the second story. Compare these two pictures.
? What were the things that made Tintswalo choose Magezi as a boyfriend in Dream Love?
Marriage won’t make our problems go away!
This choice meant Tintswalo would have to give up her dream of becoming a social worker. ? Do you think it was worth it?
N
ow look at True Love. In this story Tintswalo keeps her dream to become a social worker, but she loses Magezi. It’s okay, sisi, being with Magezi will make it all worthwhile!
The way she is standing and the words she uses to express her feelings communicate two very different attitudes.
When the things we want cannot exist together we have to choose what is most important to us, and let go of those things that stand in the way - even when it hurts. I don’t need his mali. I’m going to be a social worker one day.
? What attitude do you think she is expressing in each picture?
H
ere is another comparison you can look at:
Magezi! What are you doing?
? Do you think this choice was worth it?
But you forget, Magezi’s a rich guy. He’ll give you everything!
? Have you ever had to make such a choice in your life?
Magezi! What are you doing?
Sometimes we make choices that no one else understands. When we try to be true to ourselves we sometimes risk being misunderstood. ? What do you think Tintswalo’s friends and family in the True Love story thought when she gave up the chance of marrying Magezi? ? What do you think her friends and family thought in the Dream Love story where she did marry Magezi?
? What do these pictures tell you about Tintswalo’s attitude in Dream Love and her attitude in True Love?
29
THINKING ABOUT THE RISK OF CHANGING CULTURE
W
hat part does culture play in our lives? Here is a game that will help us answer this question. Play it with your friends.
One month later ...
Tintswalo, do you love me? Oh yes, Magezi, with all my heart!
just because it is cultural. We can choose to do the things that we agree with and change the things we do not accept.
Look carefully at the pictures in Heart to Heart and see who can find the most pictures that represent traditional culture. When you look at the pictures even look past the characters into the distance. An example of traditional culture is the women making beer on page 1.
For example:
After you have found all the pictures that represent traditional culture, see who can find the most pictures that represent western culture, like the soccer game on page 3.
? In what ways do you think lobola could abuse
? What do you think of lobola? ? How do you think lobola has changed from
the way it was practised in traditional times? women?
? In what ways do you think lobola could help women?
Then look for pictures that represent a mixture of traditional culture and western culture, like the women singing “Halilili!� at a Christian wedding on page 9.
? What do you think of the role of the makoti?
I
t is traditional culture for men to protect their wives and families. But, now there are more unemployed men than unemployed women in South Africa. There are more women supporting their families than men.
After you have seen who found the most pictures you can discuss the following questions with your friends.
? Can you think of some examples of the way you have mixed traditional and western culture together in your life?
? In what way do you think traditional culture has changed?
? Which aspects of traditional culture do you
? What do we risk when we try to change
? Which aspects of western culture do you agree
? What do we gain when we try to change
C
? Some people say condoms are not cultural and
agree with, or disagree with?
traditional culture?
with, or disagree with?
traditional culture?
ulture is not fixed. It changes all the time. It is being changed by the people who are involved in it. We do not have to do something
refuse to use them for this reason. What advice would you give someone who believes this?
30
THINKING ABOUT WHAT IS LOVE? They only love for SEX!
Huh! Do boys know what love is?
These girls don’t know what love is! They just love a man for his beauty or his money!
? What kind of man or woman would you like
At the wedding (page 9) Magezi tells Tintswalo, “You’re all mine now...”
to have a relationship with?
? Are you prepared to sacrifice your dreams for
? Can a person belong to
the person you love?
? Why didn’t Magezi believe Tintswalo in this scene:
someone else?
No! It’s yours. Only yours.
Jokwasi just takes me when he wants sex, even if I don’t feel like it! But, Lindi, BOTH of you must want it. Whose baby is it, hey? One of your other boyfriends?
? Who do you think is hurting in this picture?
Why do you think I take you to Lucky Star. hey? You’re playing games!
think Magezi meant when he said:
? Why do people have double standards?
But a girl doesn’t have a good way of telling you that she no longer loves you. She just falls for another guy.
Mafresh may be seen as the “enemy” by many women, but let’s think for a moment what she’s going through. But you were kissing Mafresh and everything! Is that passing time? Remember Magezi had also made promises to her. give her?
? Does Lindi have any choice? ? What do you
You can cheat on Tintswalo, but you want her to be faithful to you?
? What advice would you
You’re all mine now, Tintswalo. Ndza ku rhandza.
It was nca!
31
? Why do people find it so
difficult to say what they feel? Is there a way of breaking up that causes as little hurt as possible?
? What do you think of Noah’s belief? Is it a sure way of protecting yourself from AIDS?
One person, one partner. It’s the rule to enter the ark!