Feb 1st, 2001: Fiery Trials

The Staff and Sword Ministry

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February 2001

RYTRIALS PART V

By Nancy-TONY

"Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange su erin s ty ing has happened to you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's ff g ; that, (I Peter 4:12-13,) when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also witl exceeding joy."

A WALK OF FAITH In this series of articles the Lord Jesus has led me to address some issues in a variety of ways to prepare God's people for coming through the times ahead with their faith in tact and, by the Grace of God, perhaps even stronger than before. As part of this I realize now that the Spirit of God has had me address this subject in such a way so as to confront our ideals or expectations in contrast with what God may have in store for us and the reality of the possibilities that we may face. Our ideal versus reality - how often has this been a source of confusion, trial, disappointment and/or condemnation for us all? In this article I have the leading to share some of the things I have learned by the Spirit of God in my walk in Christ which touch on this question: What is a walk of faith? What might be our ideal or expectation of what a walk of faith is like in contrast to the reality? So that you might not think "as though some strange thing has happened to you", let's take a look at some of the ways God operates which may be different from what we've come to think and expect in watching others from a distance. Let's take a look at the way we want God to operate versus the He does operate.

ONE OF MY FIRST LESSONS Years ago, when I was in high school, I believed in Jesus Christ and desired to draw near to Him but I didn't know how. At the same time, I was going through a difficult time in my life as for years I had been picked on by one or more fellow students at school. It seemed as though no matter where I turned, no matter what classes I took, someone was there to torment me. I didn't know then about demons and how the Devil can use people to come against another person. All I knew was that I just wanted to be left alone. I felt I had done nothing to them nor had I done anything to draw attention to myself and yet attention I got — unwanted attention in the form of teasing, ridicule and derogatory remarks. It became so bad that I just wanted out. I thought about suicide but that was too painful and difficult and I realized I didn't really want to die but could see no end to my torment and nothing to live for. I wanted an escape from my present life.

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During this time when I realized that I didn't want to die but felt such hopelessness, I then cried out to God, to Jesus to take me out of here or to appear to me or do something, anything to show me He was real. I cried out to Him for help but nothing happened. No appearance was made, no vision was given me, no supernatural experience occurred. Instead, I went home and my life seemed to go on as usual.

Nothing seemed to really change after that except that I did notice that my senior year in high school was the first year since the 6" grade that someone didn't pick on me. For the first

time in 6 years I didn't have a tormentor and I had some peace. Since this happened about a year after my prayerful plea I didn't recognize His answer until couple of years later.

It would be about another two years after I graduated from high school before I would be baptized (as an adult) and began to learn about being filled with the Holy Spirit and was beginning to develop a closer relationship with Jesus and to hear from Him. It was about that time that I began to ponder in prayer why God didn't respond that day to my heartfelt cries for help. I didn't have to ponder this long as I immediately Knew by the Spirit of God why. The reason God didn't respond to my prayer/pleas as I wanted Him to was because to respond to me in that soulish, carnal state and on that soulish, carnal level would only hinder my walk in Christ later and feed the wrong kind of behavior. How, you may ask, would this hinder my walk in Christ? Well, let me try to explain.

I can see now that at that moment in time I was being very soulish and worldly in wanting Jesus to "show Himself' to me. I was crying out for something I could see with my eyes or a comfort that I could feel overpowering my own feelings. In some ways, I was behaving like a child that exaggerates an injury to get a reaction from a parent. A part of me was trying to "force" or get a reaction from God. Unfortunately, like a parent with a child, if God were to begin to relate to me on that level, then I would inwardly take that as a cue to continue to relate to God in that manner to get what I wanted and God does not want to relate to any of us that way. God wants us to communicate with Him at His level and not be brought down to ours.

Just think of your basic soulish behavior as being like that of a spoiled, undisciplined child full of its will and own desires. This child will initially do whatever it can to get its way. Its main goal being to draw others down to its level and to bend to its will. God does not want to feed this side to our self nature so God does not usually respond to it. Instead, God is like a Father who lets us get our soulish tantrums out of the way and waits for us to quiet ourselves to listen to Him. God wants to draw us up to His level and not the other way around.

A walk of Faith is just this — it is a believer rising out of him or her self to God's level and operating from there in Christ. Too often we are attempting to draw God down to our level and we get frustrated, confused, disappointed, angry or just plain exhausted from using our own efforts but this is not God's fault, it is our own fault because we don't know how to relate to God.

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Just to clarify where I am coming from, the circumstances I am referring to here are different that those when one is facing a truly life-threatening situation or a genuine crisis point in their life and they call out to God and a miracle can happen. I also know that there are times when Jesus will come and reveal Himself to an individual seeking Him like He did with ChuckJOHNEL, however, in a case such as his, Chuck-JGHNEL wasn't seeking the experience or manifestation like I was. Chuck-JOHNEL was seeking God and lie sent Jesus to show him to

open his heart to Him. In his case, God clearly initiated the experience so that His Will would

be done and Chuck-JOHNEL would be shown what to do that Christ may enter

Min.

It is a

whole other matter when it is we ourselves seeking such a miraculous experience to enhance our walk and it is that kind of behavior that God rarely honors and it can lead us into deception. The truth is that as we look to God through Jesus Christ we can rest assured that if He wills for us to have such an experience, we won't miss it and yet if our focus is on Him, we won't find it necessary either.

GOD'S GUIDANCE Now let's take a look at some of the ways God does operate. Just how does He give us guidance then? Well, I was reading in Come Ten Boom's book NOT I BUT CHRIST recently where she shares how God guides His children in a three fold way: (1) in our prayer time, (2) by His Word, the Bible or by (3) circumstances. What this means to me is that we can receive guidance from God when we are praying and a word, a knowing or a peace settles over us and we know what to do in a given circumstance. I personally find that I receive the clearest and most reliable Words or loadings when I seek Jesus after a time of prayer and drawing close to Jesus and abiding there. I wait until my soul is still and I am at peace and am aware of the presence of the Lord. From this place, I feel most comfortable receiving guidance from Jesus because I know my own soul and spirit is quiet and least likely to interfere.

The second is to receive guidance by His Word, the Bible which is to say that we could receive a scripture or we can know by the lessons taught in the Bible how to handle a particular situation. The only drawback to using the approach too much is that if you know the Bible well, your own spirit could give you a scripture to confirm your point of view or you might lean too much on your own understanding and miss what Jesus is telling you. The two main sources of interference and deception in receiving guidance from the Lord will be either the devil or your own self. My experience is that our own self-nature and ego tend to be the biggest problem because we are used to listening to it and it will try to imitate God to us. For this reason it is helpful and necessary to be yielded to the Spirit of God and however God may choose to reveal something to you. With God, there are no formulas or pat ways of doing things. He does whatever it takes to keep us reliant on Him.

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Lastly, God can and does work through circumstances or seemingly "natural" events to guide us on the right path. Let me try to give you an example of the subtle, natural way God can work sometimes. About a year ago we were sent a video entitled "Exposing the Illuminati From Within" but we had no leading nor time to look at it. Then about 11 months later we were sent a book about the Illuminati but we had been sent so many different materials by then I was tempted to return the book when Chuck-JOHNEL changed his mind and decided to take a look at it first. In the meantime, we gave our box of 35 videos which we have received since last year to Jun-REPHAEL to review for us to narrow down which ones may be important to see and which ones to take a pass on. One of the first videos He watched was the one on the Illuminati and reported back that it was interesting and worth watching. By this time ChuckJOHNEL had read enough of the book on the Illuminati that it was quickened to him that it needed to be dealt with. As we continued to pray about what the Lord was leading us to do, Chuck-JOHNEL was given a vision of how to deal with the demonic, spiritual enemy of our soul. Following this insight, we "decided" to watch the video (at last, after all this time) and on there was a confirmation of what the Lord had shown Chuck-JCHNEL. Then the next day we listened to a tape sent in a week earlier of a Prophet named Dan Bohler. On his tape he would prophesy a word further confirming the leading we were getting and what Jesus was telling us. Was this all a coincidence the way it dovetailed together? I think not But you see, to the natural, carnal mind this could appear as just being lucky or a big coincidence but this is the Hand of God and often the way He operates with those who trust in and are yielded to Him. In some ways it is like the more we yield to God, the more we are like a branch floating down a river with God gently nudging us this way and that to get us safely to His destination.

Finally, I would say that of these 3 ways of guidance that they are interchangeable or even interwoven by the Spirit of God to communicate His Will to us. I like what Francois Fenelon wrote in his book, THE ROYAL WAY OF THE CROSS and the way he explains this very same thing. He wrote; "God hides his work beneath a series of imperceptible events, both in grace and nature, and thus he subjects us to the mysteries of faith. Not only does he accomplish hiswork gradually, but he does it by the most simple and likely means, so that its success appears natural to men.

Otherwise all that God does would be as a perpetual miracle, which would overthrow the life of faith by which he would have us exist."

He then goes on to explain: " So it is to ensure that the operation of grace may remain a mystery of faith that God permits it to be slow and painful. He makes use of the inconstancy, the ingratitude of men, the disappointments, the failures which attend human prosperity, to detach us from the created world and its good things. He opens our eyes by letting us realize our own weakness and evil in countless falls. It all seems to go on in the natural course of events, and this

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series of apparently natural causes consumes us like a slow fire. We would much rather be consumed at once by the flames of pure love, but so speedy a process would cost us nothing. It is utter selfishness that we desire to attain perfection so cheaply and so quickly." (Unquote)

WHAT MIGHT BE HOLDING YOU BACK? At this point you may begin to wonder just what might be holding a person back from a deeper walk of faith. On this subject I have a little "food for thought" for you to ponder in prayer and search your heart own about. I pray it will be of benefit to you.

EXCESSIVE FEELINGS OF UNWORTHINESS One reason we may tell ourselves is that we are unworthy of the Love and Righteousness of God. This is true, we aren't worthy and on our own terms and by our own effort we never will be worthy but that is beside the point. Jesus came and died for us and through Him we are counted as worthy and that is all that matters.

Be careful of entertaining excessive feelings of inferiority and unworthiness to keep yourself from surrendering to God. God may or may not seem to be responding to your pleas but it has nothing to do with how worthy or unworthy you think yourself to be. I found it interesting that in three separate books by 3 different, deep Christians that they all say very much the same thing. Come Ten Boom and Madame Guyon both say that feeling inferior is pride and that it demonstrates we are not willing to accept our limitations.

Madame Guyon in EXPERIENCING GOD THROUGH PRAYER wams against allowing one's mind to dwell too much on our weaknesses and unworthiness as these stem from the root of pride and a love of our own excellence. Francois Fenelon calls it false humility. I see it this way -- when we have an excessive or strong feeling of unworthiness the root of it is pride because this is masking the fact that somewhere deep inside, in another area, we think that we are worthy.

Francois Fenelon put it this way, "That is false humility which believes itself unworthy of God's goodness and dares not look to him with trust. True humility lies in seeing our own unworthiness and giving ourselves up to God, never doubting that he can work out the greatest results for and in us."

So dear ones, it is healthy and needful to come to the realization that we are unworthy of all God and Jesus Christ has and will do for us but let it end there and abandon yourself to Him. Don't let your prayer life become weakened and don't withdraw from Jesus because of your imperfections and sin. Jesus already knows what is in us even before we do. Also, remember that nothing can separate us from the Love of God unless we let it. Let go and give your all to Him and press in gently and prayerfully to have a closer relationship with Jesus Christ.

Page 6 FIERY TRIALS - by Nancy-TONI February 2001 A WALK OF FAITH - WHAT MIGHT BE HOLDING YOU BACK? continued WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Another question you might ask yourself if you are having a hard time abiding in God's Presence and drawing close to Jesus is, What am I afraid of? Why don't I just cast myself into the anus of Jesus and let His Love embrace me? What do you have to lose in abandoning yourself completely to Him? The reason I raise this question is because of something Francois Fenelon wrote which caused me to look closer at this question. He wrote: "What are you afraid of? Of following too much goodness, finding a too-loving God; of being drawn by an attraction which is stronger than self or the charms of this poor world?

What are afraid of? Of becoming too humble, too detached, too pure, too true, too reasonable, too grateful to your Father which is in heaven? I pray, be afraid of nothing so much as of this false fear - this foolish, worldly wisdom which hesitates between God and self, between vice and virtue, between gratitude and ingratitude, between life and death."

To some this may seem like a strange fear - the fear of being too good or pure - and yet due to the carnal mind and Adanuc nature within us, this can be a force that would seek to keep one from God. How and why? Well, before we come to Christ we all have sin, darkness and carnality at work within us. When we accept Christ and begin to let Him into our heart, His Light then shines upon the darkness within. From there, depending on the individual, this darkness either begins to be dispelled by Christ's Light or the individual retreats back into the darkness. In John 3:19-21 is says:

"And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought (shaped as with a hammer) in God. " In the visions of Sadhu Sundar Singh, he was shown several individuals in different ways, who after they had died and were allowed to come to Heaven but due to the darkness within them couldn't bear the Light of God and chose darkness instead. For others who were believers in Jesus Christ, they were saved from Hell but due to the amount of darkness left in them were unable to enter directly into the fill Glory of God but would occupy an outer region of Heaven until the time when they could move into the fullness of Heaven. (This is an oversimplified version of some of the visions he received but it helps to demonstrate my point.)

The good news is that while those that do evil will be reproved of God, those that do truth and come to the Light will have his or her deeds manifested so that God can shape and mold him or her into His likeness and being. With Jesus Christ working in our hearts darkness has

February 2001 FIERY TRIALS - by Nancy-TONI Page 7 A WALK OF FAITH - WHAT MIGHT BE HOLDING YOU BACK? continued WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? continued to flee and cannot exist for long so don't be afraid to let God do His work in you.

THE SUBMISSION ISSUE I personally believe that another reasons some people don't enter into a deeper walk of faith with Jesus Christ is because of abuses in their past- Namely, I believe there is a fear of submission to Jesus Christ due to the abuse of authority by men and women in ther world. Too often in the Church System of man we see individuals attempting to exert thei power and authority over the members of the Church and people get hurt. The world is no different either but I found it very disappointing to see the world in the Church.

How often have we submitted to someone in authority only to find that authority abused or found that we've submitted to something not of God but full of fear and condemnation instead.

How many times have we mistakenly submitted to the wrong people and gotten hurt so that now when Jesus says to us, "SURRENDER TO ME" or "YIELD TO ME AND TO THE HOLY SPIRIT" that we inwardly cringe and hold back for fear of getting hurt again.

To make matters worse, some individuals have presented themselves in the Church as being representatives of God and yet lay heavy burdens on people they cannot bear and expectations they cannot meet- Some even feel it is their duty to rebuke or correct those they see as being out of line even though there is no scriptural basis for it. All these abuses add up to tell you one thing, it is not the Lord God of Heaven which is being represented but man and Satan. These are simply modem day scribes and Pharisees like the ones Jesus spoke of in Matthew 23:4, "For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers " Jesus then went on to say, "And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven. Neither be called masters: for one in your Master, even Christ" (Matthew 23: 9-10)

Jesus recently reassured me that, "I WILL NOT GIVE YOU BURDENS YOU CANNOT BEAR NOR HAVE EXPECTATIONS YOU CANNOT MEET." (January 19, 2000) This same Word goes to everyone that comes to Him. As a matter of fact we all have this promise in Matthew 11:28-30, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart, and ye sharl f nd rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Jesus will not abuse His authority over us and I have found that in submitting to God and Christ that there is a greater freedom that I ever would have expected. He takes off the burdens of man and the burdens we ourselves weigh ourselves down with and sets us free by taking care of our burdens Himself.

Page 8 FIERY TRIALS - by Nancy-TONI February 2001 A WALK OF FAITH - WHAT MIGHT BE HOLDING YOU BACK? continued WHAT IF GOD ASKS MORE OF ME THAN I CAN DO? The beautiful and wonderful thing about God is that when He asks us to do something, all we have to do is to yield and look to Him and let Him do His work through us. Jesus and God don't just tell or ask us to do a thing and then leave us to our own devices -- no, God then gives us the direction and provision to complete what He has asked of us as we continually look to Him. So, if you are afraid that God will ask of you more than you can do, then you need to realize how self-focused you are at that moment and realize that when God does ask you to do more than you feel able to do, then that is His plan. He often doesn't ask us to do what we already know how to do because He wants us to learn to rely on Him and not on our own self-efforts and abilities. This isn't to say that God won't use and work through our God-given abilities and talents but we need to yield to Him and let His Spirit lead in how we make use of those God-given talents. Each step of the way, through every aspect of our lives, God wants to be in charge and lead us how we make use of all He has given us.

I would even go so far to say to not be afraid that God will ask more you than you feel comfortable with but rather come to accept and even expect that He probably will ask you to do more than you think you can. That's the only way you'll grow in your walk of faith and in your relationship with Him. FEAR OF ENEMY ATTACK Lastly, I believe that we often hold back from a deeper walk of faith due to either a conscious or unconscious fear of attack from the enemy of our souls. I know for myself that the attacks on me began from the time I first gave Jesus Christ charge of my life. Oddly, I didn't fully realize that until recently, some 25 years later. However, I now know that just as the Devil moved through Herod to try to kill Jesus after He was born, so the enemy has been trying to kill Christ within me from the start as well. And if this is my experience, it's probably the experience of every Christian to one degree or another, whether they realize or not. The Devil didn't want Jesus to come the first time and he certainly doesn't want Jesus to come in us so

he's been there working to destroy Christ within each of us but by the Grace of God, he hasn't succeeded.

I remember years ago the Holy Spirit gave Chuck-JOHNEL an insight, "CAN YOUA VOID YOUR PAIN BY AVOIDING YOUR JOY?" For example, would a woman want to avoid the joy of having a baby because of the pain of the delivery? Do you really want to avoid the joy which comes from Christ Jesus because of the pain the enemy may try to inflict? If your answer is yes, then a deeper walk of faith is not for you. With the Joy of life in Christ Jesus is also the pain of the cross, of abandoning all that is of self and, at times, experiencing attacks from the enemy of our souls. To follow Christ, Jesus said we must take up our cross and follow Him and part of that experience is to be persecuted as He was persecuted.

February 2001 FIERY TRIALS - by Nancy-TONI Page 9 A WALK OF FAITH - WHAT MIGHT BE HOLDING YOU BACK? continued FEAR OF ENEMY ATTACK continued In this world we know that if we go out of our way to bother someone that they may and likely will bother us back. We tend to live in a cause and effect world of actions that lead to reactions. However, these same rules don't always seem to apply to our spiritual enemy. The Devil and his bunch will trouble you and attack you for no other reason than the fact that you are a Christian. It is that simple. It's not "personal", it's just that the Devil is still working overtime to prevent Jesus' Second Coming because when that happens it is all over for him.

We are in a battle down here and being neutral is not an option.

The Blessed truth is that the Devil has already lost, it's just a matter of time before he's defeated once and for all. Until then, Jesus Christ has given us His power and His authority over this Enemy of our souls so we don't have to "take it" anymore. So, if you do find yourself fearing an enemy attack just keep in mind where that fear is coming from certainly not from God! Then take time in prayer to take on the whole annor of God (Ephesians 6:1417), bind and plead the Blood of Christ in Jesus' Name on that fear and cast it far from you, commanding the Lord's Angels to take those demons where Jesus says to. In Christ, we have the victory and don't ever lose sight of that!

In the end, no matter what fear may be creeping up in your heart, don't let it keep you from God the Father and Jesus Christ. Instead, take a look at Hebrews 4:14-16 and seek to apply it in your daily walk in Christ.

"Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession (of our faith). For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with feelings of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may (Hebrews 4:14-16) obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. "

"Come, Walk with Me" Now I'd like to take another look at just what a "Walk of Faith" is For example, in 2 Corinthians 5:7 Paul writes, "For we walk by faith, not by sight. "In Ephesians 5:8 he wrote, "For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light". Then in Galatians 5.16 & 25 he goes on to say, "... Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. .. If ye live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. " To understand what is being said on a personal level then you need to realize that going by sight, being darkness or in darkness, and fulfilling the lusts of the flesh are all part of your soullife and self-nature and that which we are called to die to. To walk by or in faith and in the spirit is not to go by sight, it is to be filled with and walk in Light and not darkness and it is

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to be yielded to and doing the will of God and not our own will, desires and lusts. In other words, we need to learn to operate on a different level and in a different way from our own.

In Psalm 32:8 . 9 the Lord is saying, "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go. I will guide thee with mine eye. "It also says in Psalm 48:14, "For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death. " can give to illustrate my point is the story of Peter walking out on the water to Jesus. It goes like this: The best example I

"And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. But straightway Jesus spoke unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go out to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid, and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, 0 thou of little faith, wherefore didn't thou doubt?

And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased."

(Matthew 14:25-32) Now, think of the water as being your soul and self-life. When you are operating or swimming in your soul it is tiresome, dark at times, and the currents of your emotions, thoughts, opinions, fears, desires and lusts pull you this way and that. At the same time there is a lot of feeling and sensation while operating on a soulish level just like being in the water that we've become accustomed to. You're cold and there is the weight of the water giving you resistance, currents pushing you in this direction or that and undercurrents threatening to pull you under but at the same time we've come to rely on that strength of feeling or sensation to guide us on our way.

Now think of what it would be like to suddenly be pulled out of the water and to walk on the water by faith. Gee, here there is no resistance to overcome, there is warmth in the Sonshine and Light from God and Jesus is there to guide us and keep us on top of the water. At the same time, the soul begins to notice that there are no handrails and so safety net to keep you from falling back into the water. Only by keeping our focus on Jesus and not on the water or any troubling wind that threatens to approach, will we be kept on track.

Still, Jesus bids us all to come and walk on the water with Him. Come, leave your self-life behind and walk in the Spirit with Jesus Christ.

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The fears I wrote about in the section "What might be holding you back?" will also send one back into the "drink" again. Anything that keeps you looking inward more than to Jesus is something that needs to be given over to Him. If you do find yourself in this kind of behavior or going through the kind of trial that seems to overwhelm your self-nature, try following David's example in Psalm 40. Here in verses 8-11 be is declaring the intent of his heart and the works he has done for the Lord: "I delight to do thy will, 0 my God: yea, thy law is within my heart. I have preached righteousness in the great congregation: lo, I have not refrained my lips, 0 Lord, thou knowest. I have not hid thy righteousness within my heart; I have declared thy faithfulness and thy salvation: I have not concealed thy lovingkindness and thy truth from the great congregation. Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, 0 Lord: let thy lovingkindness and thy truth continually preserve me. " Then he shares the difficulties he has been going through in verse 12: "For innumerable evils have compassed me about.- mine iniquities have taken hold won me, so that Jam not able to look up; they are more than the hairs of mine head: therefore my heart faileth me. " But from there he prays to God for deliverance and puts his focus on the Lord inverses 13-17: "Be pleased, 0 Lord, to deliver me: 0 Lord, rnake haste to help me. Let them be ashamed and confounded together that seek after my soul to destroy it; let them be driven backward and put to shame that wish me evil.... Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: let such as love thy salvation say continually, The Lord be magnified. But I am poor and needy: yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, 0my God. ,' I see this as like when Peter reached out to Jesus after he went into the water upon seeing the wind approaching. Just reach out to Jesus and He will be there for you to pull you out. Quiet the winds of your fear by putting and keeping your Faith on Jesus Christ and all will be well with your soul.

DYING TO SELF For the longest time I have pondered just what does it mean to "die to self'? At first I believed that my self-nature must die or cease to exist but this didn't seem possible. The more I tried to "kill" it, the more life it seemed to exert. Then I found where it says in Scripture to

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"possess your souls with patience" and realized that we weren't to destroy our souls but to bring our soul to salvation and into proper submission and relationship with the Jesus Christ.

However, that still left me with the issue of dying to self and just what did that mean? Well, recently I received a Holy Spirit insight which helped to clarify the issue for me. That insight Is this.

To die to self is to no longer seek life from self but to seek life totally from God and Jesus Christ.

The way I see this insight is that the reason we hang onto our self-life is because we believe it will give us what we want and desire or in other words, our life. If we didn't want something from it, why is it so hard to give up? Well, that's because we really do want something from it which contributes to and gives us our lives, or so we think. To "die to self' means that we no longer look to ourselves, our self-nature, our self-life to give us anything and we start looking to Jesus to give us our life and everything we need.

Here even the water analogy can apply. Look at your soul as that sea again - all full of salty water. Oh, you could drink it but it won't satisfy you and will actually leave you thirsty after you drank it, and it certainly won't sustain you and give you life in the long run. But look at what Jesus said in John 4:13-14: "... fJ1wsoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life."

And in John 7:37-38 Jesus said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink He that believeth on me, as the scripture bath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water."

So with our eyes and heart focused on Jesus we not only can be brought out of our self-life and walk on the water but we can then partake of His Water, a living water that satisfies and gives us life, everlasting life. And as we partake of His Life, so His Living Water begins to

flow through us and to others that they too may partake of His Life-giving Water. How beautiful! How effortless!

When all is said and done, in the end it will be up to each of us individually to seek Jesus and

learn to develop a relationship with Him for his or her self All I can do is encourage you and equip you as the Spirit of God gives me to but you and Jesus in you will have to work in prayer on the rest. However, with Jesus as your guide and your goal, how can any of us miss? Put your trust in God and begin exploring your Walk of Faith today. In Jesus ' LOW-,