Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth Chapter Sample by New Hope Publishers

FACE-TO-FACE BIBLE STUDY SERIES

FACE-TO-FACE WITH

NAOMI TOGETHER

AND

RUTH

JOURNEY

JANET THOMPSON

Birmingham, Alabama

New Hope® Publishers P. O. Box 12065 Birmingham, AL 35202-2065 www.newhopepublishers.com New Hope Publishers is a division of WMU®. © 2009 by Janet Thompson All rights reserved. First printing 2009. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the prior written permission of the publisher. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Thompson, Janet, 1947Face to face with Naomi and Ruth : together for the journey : five sessions for individuals, M&M’s (mentors & mentees, friends, family) or groups ; with leader’s guide for group study facilitators and session guide / Janet Thompson. p. cm. -- (Face to face Bible study series) Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-1-59669-253-4 (sc : alk. paper) 1. Naomi (Biblical figure) 2. Ruth (Biblical figure) 3. Christian women--Religious life--Textbooks. 4. Mentoring--Religious aspects--Christianity--Textbooks. I. Title. BS580.R8T56 2009 222’.350071--dc22 2009003256 Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from The HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked The Message are taken from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked Holman or HCSB are taken from The Holy Bible, Holman Christian Standard Version. Copyright ©2004, B & H Publishing Group. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ISBN-10: 1-59669-253-7 ISBN-13: 978-1-59669-253-4 N094147 • 0609 • 4M1

DEDICATED WITH LOVE

TABLE OF CONTENTS WELCOME My Story ..................................................................................8 What Is Mentoring? ................................................................8 Who Are M&M’S? ................................................................11 M&M’S and More! ...............................................................11 Study Format .........................................................................11 Suggestions for Individual Study..........................................12 Suggestions for M&M’S— Mentors and Mentees, Friends, and Relatives ..................12 Suggestions for Group Study ................................................13 Leaders and Facilitators ........................................................14 To You—the Reader ..............................................................14 SESSION ONE—THEIR STORY Can You Relate—Janet Thompson ......................................18 Day One: How Does Naomi’s and Ruth’s Story Relate to Us? ........20 Day Two: A Changed Life.....................................................23 Day Three: We Are Family ...................................................27 Day Four: A Time of Discontent ..........................................32 Day Five: Together for the Journey .....................................35 SESSION TWO—LIFE’S NOT ALWAYS EASY Day One: When Your Faith Is Tested ..................................40 Day Two: Sharing Life’s Adverse Circumstances ................43 Day Three: Crisis Mentoring ................................................47 Day Four: Keeping the Faith ................................................51 Day Five: A Commitment to God and to Each Other .........55

Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth

SESSION THREE—A TWO-WAY RELATIONSHIP Day One: Allowing Choices ..................................................62 Day Two: Home at Last ........................................................65 Day Three: Mutual Respect ..................................................69 Day Four: Asking Questions ................................................72 Day Five: A Teachable Spirit ................................................75 SESSION FOUR—LET’S BE FRIENDS Day One: On Common Ground ...........................................80 Day Two: Caring and Sharing ..............................................83 Day Three: Lifting the Load .................................................86 Day Four: Building Trust ......................................................89 Day Five: Sacrificial Love .....................................................93 SESSION FIVE—WILL YOU MENTOR ME? Day One: Mentoring as Discipling.......................................98 Day Two: Listening and Learning ......................................103 Day Three: Role Models of Character ...............................106 Day Four: God’s Plan and Purpose Fulfilled .....................110 Day Five: Can I Have a Witness? Praise God! .................113 Together for the Journey Testimony—Pat Devine ...........116 CLOSING MATERIALS—THE JOURNEY ENDS Let’s Pray a Closing Prayer Together .................................118 Janet’s Suggestions..............................................................118 Leader’s Guide for Group-Study Facilitators and M&M’S ......................................................................120 Session Guide.......................................................................123 Prayer & Praise Journal .....................................................138

WELCOME My Story I began taking steps to start the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry while at my home church, Saddleback Church, in Lake Forest, California, pastored by Rick Warren. “Feed My sheep” was God’s call and challenge to me to go into full-time ministry. God quickly revealed that feeding was mentoring and the sheep were women in churches all over the world. In obedience to the call, I launched the ministry in my home in January 1996, and we quickly outgrew my living room. After receiving numerous requests from other churches wanting to know how to start this type of a ministry, I authored Woman to Woman Mentoring, How to Start, Grow, and Maintain A Mentoring Ministry DVD Leadership Kit (LifeWay Press). As I traveled throughout the United States and Canada, training and speaking on mentoring, I heard numerous requests for a Bible study depicting God’s plan for mentors and mentees— “M&M’S,”as we fondly call them. One morning as my husband completed his quiet time with the Lord, Dave asked me if I had ever considered writing Bible studies based on mentoring relationships in the Bible. He knew that many M&M’S enjoy doing a Bible study together, and Dave felt that one focused on what God says about mentoring relationships would help answer many of the M&M’S questions. After much prayer––and my husband’s prodding––I decided to look in the Bible to see how many mentoring relationships I could find. Before long, I had discovered 12. This was my confirmation to begin writing the “Face-to-Face” Bible study series (formerly known as Mentoring God’s Way). My passion and life mission is to help one generation of believers connect to the next generation and pass down God’s plan for the Christian life. I trust that the “Face-to-Face” Bible study series will help you do exactly that.

What Is Mentoring? I love Dee Brestin’s depiction of the informality of mentoring in The Friendships of Women Workbook: “It’s not to be a dependent relationship, 8

Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth

but simply a friendship as you spend time with a woman who is further down the road, at least in some areas of her Christian life. Win Couchman says, ‘Mentoring works very nicely over a cup of coffee.’ ” For those who like more concrete and specific definitions, Roget’s Super Thesaurus provides this explanation of the root word of mentoring. It defines mentor as a teacher, guide, coach, or advisor. Most dictionaries define the word mentor as a trusted and wise counselor. To combine Dee’s and the reference definitions with the Christian perspective: a Christian mentor is a spiritually mature woman who is a trusted and wise teacher, guide, coach, counselor, advisor, and friend. Thus, a mentee is someone willing to be taught, guided, coached, advised, or counseled by a trusted, wise, and spiritually older woman friend. Christian mentoring is sharing with another woman the many wonders you have seen God do in your life, and assuring her that He will do them in her life, too, as you both discover God’s purpose and plan for your lives together. Mentoring is not a hierarchy: it’s always a two-way, mutually benefiting relationship where both participants learn from the other. Chris Tiegreen, author of my favorite devotional, The OneYear Walk with God Devotional reminds us why it is always better to seek God’s ways together: The Bible gives us solid wisdom on which to base our lives. But while it is absolute, its interpretation can vary widely. That’s where advice comes in. Never underestimate the body of Christ. He has crafted us to live in community. Wisdom usually comes not to godly individuals but to godly fellowships. Are you seeking direction? Know your heart, but do not trust it entirely. Measure it by biblical wisdom and the counsel of those who follow it well. —June 27 devotional The Bible also clearly instructs men to mentor men and women to mentor women. Titus 2:1–8 is the traditional “mentoring” passage: You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older welcome

women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. 1 Peter 5:2–4 (NLT) could be addressing mentors: Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example. And when the Great Shepherd appears, you will receive a crown of neverending glory and honor. A mentor doesn’t need to be an expert on the Bible or God, and she doesn’t need to have a perfect life. If that were the case, none of us would qualify. A mentor simply needs to be willing to share her life experiences with another woman and be an example and role model of how a Christian woman does life. And how do we learn to be a godly role model? Answer: “Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith” (Hebrews 13:7 NLT). Mentoring is not doing a ministry: It is being a godly woman who follows the Lord’s command: “One generation will commend your works to another; they will tell of your mighty acts” (Psalm 145:4).

Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth

WHO ARE M&M’S? In the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry, we lovingly refer to mentors and mentees as “M&M’S”—no, that’s not the candy, although we always have M&M’s® candy at our events. And just like the candy, there are varieties of M&M relationships—no two are the same. M&M’S may be—friends, acquaintances, family members, workers, neighbors, members of a mentoring or other ministry, team members, women with similar life experiences, or any two women—who want to grow spiritually together.

M&M’S AND MORE! The “Face-to-Face” Bible study series has a variety of applications. You can enjoy this study: • On your own • As a mentor and mentee (M&M’S) in a mentoring or discipleship relationship • Between two friends • Between two relatives • As a small or large group studying together • As a church-wide Bible study The Bible studies offer three types of questions: • ON YOUR OWN: questions for doing the study individually • M&M’S: questions for mentors and mentees, two friends, or relatives studying together O • N YOUR OWN AND M&M’S: questions applicable to both individuals and those studying together G • ROUPS: answer all the questions, with a Leader’s/Facilitator’s Guide in each book

STUDY FORMAT There are five main “Sessions,” comprised of five study days. Each day’s study includes: • Scriptures and questions for you to study and answer • Face-to-Face Reflections—a discussion of the day’s topic welcome

• •

Personal Parable—a story depicting and applying the day’s topic Mentoring Moment—take-away wisdom for the day

At the end of each session there is: • Faith in Action—an opportunity for life application of the lessons learned • Let’s Pray Together—a prayer for me to pray with you Following session five are Closing Materials: Let’s Pray a Closing Prayer Together Janet’s Suggestions—ideas for further study Leader’s Guide for Group-Study Facilitators and M&M’S Session Guide Prayer & Praise Journal

SUGGESTIONS FOR INDIVIDUAL STUDY I admire you for seeking out this study on your own and having the desire and discipline to work on it by yourself. I like to grow in the knowledge of the Lord and His Word and have found that my most relevant insights from God come when I seek Him by myself in a quiet place. Have fun on your own, and share with someone all you are learning. 1. A good way to stay consistent in your studying is to work a little each day during your quiet time in the morning or evening. 2. Tell someone you have started this study, and ask him or her to keep you accountable to completing it.

SUGGESTIONS FOR M&M’S— MENTORS AND MENTEES, FRIENDS, AND RELATIVES I hope the study of Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth: Together for the Journey adds a new dimension to your M&M relationship. Here are a few study tips: 12

Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth

1. Come to your meetings prepared to discuss your answers to the session’s questions. 2. Or you may decide to answer the questions together during your meetings. 3. If you don’t live near each other, you can have phone or online discussions. 4. Remember, the questions are to enlighten and not divide; be honest and open, but also loving and kind.

SUGGESTIONS FOR GROUP STUDY I love group studies because you get to hear other people’s points of view and lasting friendships often develop. Your meetings should be fun, informative, relevant and applicable to group members’ lives. Enjoy yourself with your fellow sisters in Christ, but remember that joining a group study does mean commitment. So please attend your scheduled meetings, unless there is a real emergency. I suggest the following courtesies: 1. Put the meeting dates on your calendar. 2. Commit to doing your study and come prepared to discuss it. This honors the rest of the group, and you will get so much more from the sessions. 3. Ask questions––because, chances are, someone else has the same question. 4. Participate in the discussion, but be cautious of dominating the conversation. For example, if you have answered several questions, even though you know all the answers, let someone else have a turn. Try to encourage a less outgoing member to share. 5. Listen when others speak and give each speaker your full attention. welcome

6. Arrive on time. 7. Keep in confidence the information shared in the group.

LEADERS AND FACILITATORS When I lead and facilitate Bible-study groups, I value a complete and detailed Leader’s Guide, so that is what I have provided for you. The “Face-to-Face” Bible study series has a Leader’s Guide at the end of each book to provide the leader/facilitator with creative ideas for: 1. Guiding group discussion 2. Adding life application and variety to the sessions 3. Accommodating the varied learning styles of the group (visual learners, hands-on learners, auditory learners, and more)

TO YOU—THE READER Whatever way you are doing this study, God has a message and a lesson just for you. Here are some suggestions I pray will enhance your experience studying Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth. 1. Start each session with prayer and ask the Lord to speak to you through the Scripture readings, the prayerful answering of the questions, and the interaction with others. 2. Set your own pace. I provide breaking points, but make it comfortable for yourself and break as you need to do so. 3. If you’re not sure how to answer a question, move on; but continue praying and thinking about the answer. Often my answers come quickly, but God’s answers are the most fruitful. 4. Unless otherwise indicated, all the questions relate to NIV Bible passages. Lists of Scriptures are sequential, as they 14

Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth

appear in the Bible. You will be looking up Scripture references in your Bible, which is an invaluable way to study and learn about the Bible. 5. Use the space provided to answer questions, but don’t feel obligated to fill the space. However, if you need more room, continue answering in a separate journal. 6. A book effectively used for study should be underlined, highlighted, and comments written in the margins, so interact with the material. 7. At the end of session five, you will find suggestions from me on books to read or activities to delve deeper into what God may be teaching you about the biblical M&M relationship featured in the study. 8. Use the Prayer & Praise Journal starting on page 138 to record the mighty work God does in your life during this study. Journal prayer requests and note when God answers. 9. Have some chocolate. After reading about M&M’S throughout the study, you’ll be ready for some candy! My heart, admiration, and encouragement go out to you with this book. I pray that mentoring becomes a vital part of your life. The “Face-to-Face” Bible study series is another way the Lord allows me to “feed My sheep.” And I hope that you will enjoy this and other “Face-to-Face” Bible studies and “feed” others as well. About His Work, Janet

welcome

SESSION ONE FACE-TO-FACE FACE TO FACE WITH NAOMI AND RUTH: TOGETHER FOR THE JOURNEY

THEIR STORY

Can You Relate? i, Mom and Dad.” It was the excited voice of our son, Sean, calling from his Navy base in Pensacola, Florida. We chatted a while and caught up on the happenings in each other’s lives since last we talked. Yet, with a mother’s intuition, I sensed he had something to tell us and had to restrain myself from asking, “What’s up?” Sure enough, after about five minutes of talking and laughing Sean said, “Folks, I am going to ask Janel to marry me when she and her parents come to visit next month. I already called and asked for her dad’s blessing, but I’m keeping it a surprise for Janel.” I let out a scream of joy and immediately began asking all the motherly questions. “Do you have a ring?” “Yes,” he said, excitedly describing his purchase. “When are you thinking of getting married?” He wasn’t sure but hoped it would be soon. They would have to fit a wedding into his military and her college schedule. “Do you think she is going to be surprised?” “Yes!” Sean replied joyfully. “Are you sure about this son?” my husband and I asked in unison. With great confidence, Sean assured us that he was very sure. At nineteen, the youngest of our four children would be the first to marry. As we said our goodbyes, the shocking reality hit me that I would now be a mother-in-law! What did that look like? The

words sounded so old. It just seemed a few years ago I was the young bride and a new daughter-in-law. Where had the years gone? What would my role now be in Sean’s life? Another woman was going to be the nurturer and provider of a home for him. I always liked the adage: “You don’t lose a son, you just gain a daughter.” But I had also heard the saying: “A daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life. A son is a son till he takes a wife.” I wanted Dave and me to be “in-laws”—not “outlaws”—so my prayer was for Janel to feel welcome, comfortable, and loved in our family. Let’s look at a model for a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship that God shared with us in the Bible.

session one

Day One How Does Naomi’s and Ruth’s Story Relate to Us? aomi and Ruth truly experienced a two-way relationship: they helped each other through some difficult times of life, and then we see God rewarding their mutual loyalty and devotion.

ON YOUR OWN AND M&M’S

Q: Before we go further, please stop and read the Book of Ruth in

• •

your Bible. Try to read its four short chapters in one setting. What impressed you most about this story?

What new insights did God reveal to you about Ruth, Orpah, Naomi, and Boaz?

Q: Look in Matthew 1:5 to learn something you might not have known about Boaz. Who is Boaz’s mother and what relationship does she have with Ruth?

•

What type of work did Boaz’s mother do at one time (Joshua 2:1)?

Q: Now read Matthew 1:5–16. Ruth, Naomi, Boaz, and Rahab are all part of whose genealogy?

Q: What prophecy in Micah 5:2 was fulfilled by Ruth’s willingness to leave her old life behind and follow Naomi to Bethlehem (John 7:41–42)?

Q: Are there parts of the Book of Ruth that relate to your life? Face-to-Face Reflections The story of Ruth, and Ruth’s second mother-in-law, Rahab, are shining examples of God’s grace, mercy, and propensity to use anyone who believes in Him to accomplish His purpose and plans—no matter what their previous background. Ruth, a Moabite who turned from pagan gods to worship God, marries Boaz, the son of Rahab, a former Canaanite prostitute. Their child, Obed, continues the family line right down through King David to Jesus the Messiah! Ruth, a foreigner, actually becomes the great-grandmother of David. Rahab, also a foreigner, becomes David’s great-great-grandmother, and they both are the multiple great-grandmothers of Jesus and two of only four women named in Jesus’s genealogy!

Personal Parable Like Ruth and Rahab, I was the least likely woman for God to enlist to do His great work. I had none of the credentials expected of someone starting a women’s ministry. I hadn’t lived a godly life for 17 years prior to rededicating my life to Christ, never participated in any women’s ministry, didn’t know many women at our church, and I was divorced and remarried. But three years after my rededication and renewal of faith came a call from God to start a Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry at my home church, Saddleback. session one

I said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yes,â&#x20AC;? and never looked back. And now, 14 years later, God has taken Woman to Woman Mentoring throughout the world to thousands of women. God showed me that being a servant for Him to use does not mean having to have led a perfect life. If that were the case, none of us would qualify!

Mentoring Moment If God fulfilled His plan through a Moabite woman and the son of a prostitute, He can, and will, use people of any ethnic group, sex, culture, nationality, or personal background, who are willing to serve Him. That means He can use you and me!

Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth

Day Two A Changed Life aking a major change in life can be risky because we don’t know what the outcome is going to be. We become comfortable with the known and change means uprooting and replanting; but if we lack the courage and faith to start, we’re already finished. start

ON YOUR OWN AND M&M’S

Q: Read Joshua 2:1–21 and 6:20–25 to learn more about the story of Rahab. How does Rahab profess her belief in God?

•

How does she courageously act on her new faith?

•

How do her actions save her and her family’s lives?

•

After abandoning Canaan and its gods, where did she live safely?

Q: What parallels do you see between the story of Ruth leaving Moab and her future mother-in-law, Rahab, leaving Canaan?

Q: What risks did Ruth and Rahab both take?

•

How did God reward them?

Q: Is there anything in your background you think would stop God from using you? If so, what is it?

Q: Read Joel 2:25. How do you see this verse applying to Naomi, Ruth, Rahab, and yourself?

Q: Read the following verses, looking for a theme that relates to

• • • • •

Boaz’s role in Ruth’s life story: Job 19:25 Psalm 19:14 Psalm 34:22 Galatians 3:14 Titus 2:13–15

Q: How does Jesus become your Kinsman-Redeemer when you give your life to Him?

Q: How are you letting the Lord use you now?

•

Where would you like Jesus to use your life in the future?

•

What risks are your ready to take for Christ?

ON YOUR OWN

Q: If you’ve not asked Jesus to forgive your sins, or you’re not sure how He could use you with your sinful background, let me encourage you to meet with a pastor at your church, to answer questions and counsel you. Jot a reminder to do so here:

Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth

Q: If you are not yet a Christian, but now feel ready to ask Jesus into your heart, stop right where you are and let’s pray together the Salvation Prayer that follows. Then seek out a mentor to disciple you, or enroll in your church’s discipleship class.

M&M’S

Q: Be honest with yourself and each other. Are you letting anything stop God from using your M&M relationship, or your individual lives, to further His work? If so, write the obstacles here and commit to pray together that God would remove them.

Q: If you are the mentee and haven’t come to know Jesus as your personal Savior, talk about your hesitations with your mentor. Mentor, help your mentee find answers to her questions. That’s one reason God has put you together.

Q: Mentee, if you are ready to accept Jesus, pray the Salvation Prayer below right now!

Face-to-Face Reflections If you are ready to accept Jesus into your heart and become a follower of Christ, all you have to do is sincerely pray this prayer of surrender. You can pray by yourself; wherever you are, Jesus is right there with you. Or if you are in an M&M relationship, you might ask your mentor if she would like to pray with you.

SALVATION PRAYER Dear Jesus, I know that I have made mistakes and sinned in my life, and I want to tell You how sorry I am. I ask You now to forgive me and cleanse me of those sins. Jesus, I want You to come into my heart and take residence there. I believe You are the Son of God and that You died on the Cross to pay the price for my sins and then rose again in three days to offer me eternal life. Jesus, I give You complete control of my life, and I willingly surrender my heart, mind, and soul session one

to You. Please fill me with the Holy Spirit and Your love. Lord I give You my life—make me a new creation in You. In Your Son Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen. If you prayed the Salvation Prayer, welcome to God’s family! He has wiped away your past sins, and you have a new slate: a new life in Christ. Congratulations! Celebrate and tell others about the decision you’ve made to become a follower of Jesus Christ—it’s your testimony. Now you’re ready to grow and mature spiritually, and this study will have so much more meaning to you. You go, Girl!

Personal Parable I was 45 years old before I found my purpose in life. During my 17-year prodigal journey, I made some very poor decisions and didn’t lead a godly life. I am sure that I broke God’s heart. But in 1992 at a Harvest Crusade when Pastor Greg Laurie asked the question: If you died tonight, are you ready? I knew my answer was no. I rededicated my life to Christ that night and a prodigal daughter returned. I told the Lord I would go wherever He called, and it has been an incredibly glorious and wild journey. I’m not proud of the things I did during my wayward years, but I took the risk and changed my life. I know the difference of living a desperate life of sin and a forgiven righteous life in Christ, Redeemer of the lost years.

Mentoring Moment The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is never too late to become what you might have been.

Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth

Day Three We Are Family he Israelite couple, Naomi and Elimelech, moved their two bachelor sons to Moab in search of a better life away from the famine that plagued their hometown, Bethlehem in Judah. However, moving to a foreign, pagan country put their two sons in a place where the only available brides would be of a different faith.

ON YOUR OWN AND M&M’S

Q: Frequently, we parents don’t like our children’s choices. Yet how many of their choices do we actually govern by our choices? What’s your first reaction to this question?

Q: Why did Naomi and her husband Elimelech move their family from Bethlehem to Moab (Ruth 1:1–3)?

Q: What happened to Naomi’s husband, Elimelech, soon after the move?

Q: What does Deuteronomy 23:3 say about Moabites worshipping with Israelites?

Q: Why could the Moabites not enter into the assembly of the Lord (Deuteronomy 23:3–4)?

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How final is this proclamation (Deuteronomy 23:6)?

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What significance does this have to the marriage of Naomi’s sons to Moabite brides?

Q: What does God say about marrying outside our faith (Malachi 2:11–12 and 2 Corinthians 6:14–16)?

Q: With no husband to counsel the boys, what do you think Naomi’s reaction was when her only two sons pursued foreign girls?

Q: How often do we realize our part in unpleasant, difficult circumstances? Do we take ownership when there are dire consequences to our choices—the results of our own doing? Describe a situation where your actions or choices resulted in an unpleasant consequence for you or your family.

•

Describe a pleasant consequence of your actions or choices:

Q: How can we have peace with decisions we make for our family and ourselves (Philippians 4:6–7)?

Q: Now pray, asking God to reveal to you His thoughts about your family choices. Journal here what the Lord reveals:

M&M’S

Q: Share your family history and personal testimony with each other, noting differences in your heritage that you want to learn more about. For example, are there differences in your cultural or religious backgrounds?

Q: Don’t we all come from different places in our lives? This makes for interesting relationships. Discuss how differences could enhance or maybe challenge your relationship.

Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth

Face-to-Face Reflections In spite of God’s warnings, Naomi’s two sons, Mahlon and Chilion, married outside their faith and culture, mingling with the Moabites Orpah and Ruth, who had Chemosh as their chief god of worship. Moabites were not friends of the Israelites and, while the Israelites were not specifically forbidden to marry them, no Moabite or his sons to the tenth generation could “enter the assembly of the Lord,” because the Moabites had not let the Israelites pass through their land during the Exodus from Egypt. Deuteronomy 23:6: “Do not seek a treaty of friendship with them [Ammonites or Moabites] as long as you live” reveals, Naomi’s sons, would never be able to worship “in church” with their wives. The NIV Study Bible explains that ten generations is symbolic of completeness or finality and further explains: The story of Ruth is silent about the underlying hostility and suspicion the two peoples—Judahites and Moabites— felt for each other. The original onslaught of the invading Israelite tribes against towns that were once Moabite had never been forgotten or forgiven, while the Hebrew prophets denounced Moab’s pride and arrogance for trying to bewitch, seduce, and oppress Israel from the time of Balaam on. The Mesha stele (c. 830 B.C.) boasts of the massacre of entire Israelite towns. There was no love lost between the Moabites and the Israelites. But that didn’t stop Naomi’s sons from marrying Moabite women—who might have been the only available women. Many parents today complain about carpooling or bussing their children to school, and often that is the reasoning behind giving cars to teenagers at an early age. But I sometimes wonder if parents take into account the distance from their children’s future schools when choosing a house they want? Did they put their children in the best environment to make friends who would be good influences and perhaps future mates? Granted, many parents don’t have a choice, but when we do, it’s important to consider how a move will affect our children physically, emotionally, and spiritually. session one

Knowing that their move to Moab had instigated interfaith/intercultural marriages for their sons, we only can speculate whether Naomi was upset at her sons’ choices. The parents had created the situation that led to the unequal yoking of their sons, but we know that God can make good out of any of our choices—and He certainly did with this family.

Personal Parable When Sean told Dave and me he was going to marry Janel, we were thrilled. Janel was a good friend and former college roommate of our oldest daughter, Michelle. When Michelle and Janel were roomies, Sean was the cute kid brother, but he was all grown up and ready to be a husband. Janel is a beautiful girl inside and out, and we couldn’t have been happier for them. We knew with their young age and the hardships of military life they would need lots of prayer, but they were in love with each other and the Lord, and had our blessing. Janel and Sean, however, came from very different family backgrounds. Janel’s parents were high school sweethearts and Janel’s family was one of the founding families of our church. Janel, the oldest of three siblings, accepted Jesus into her heart as a little girl in a backyard Bible School. Conversely, Sean had a blended family. Dave and I married when Sean was fifteen, and Sean came to live with us along with Dave’s middle child, Shannon, and my daughter, Kim, was still at home. Sean had experienced parents divorcing, Dad remarrying, changing homes, having a stepsister, and Sean was the youngest of our four kids. Sean accepted Christ as a teenager. When Janel and her parents returned home from the “Sean asking her to marry him” trip, Janel came over to show us her ring. We immediately invited Janel and her parents for dinner so we could get acquainted, and Janel and I met for coffee chats to discuss wedding plans. I knew it would take time, effort, communication, love, and open conversation to achieve a truly close and loving relationship with my new daughter-in-law-to-be. 30

Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth

Mentoring Moment In her book Always in Triumph: The Life of Robert C. McQuilkin, Marguerite McQuilkin records that when plagued by undone tasks, misunderstandings, troubles, and apparent failure, Dr. McQuilkin, who was the first president of Columbia Bible College, stops and deliberately asks himself two questions: â&#x20AC;&#x153;First, am I surrendered to the Lord; Do I want only His will so far as my choice is concerned . . . The second question is: Is the Lord just now meeting all my needs? The answer must be to take Him at His word though there are fightings without and fears within and though the circumstances of outward things and of inward life seem to say the needs are not being met. His grace IS sufficient. So I go forward doing the next duty and resting in faith, not in feeling.â&#x20AC;?

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Day Four A Time of Discontent hings go downhill for Naomi’s family after moving to Moab. Naomi’s husband dies, the boys have married women of a different culture and faith, and then both of these sons die! Even after ten years of marriage, her daughters-in-law have not become pregnant; so, Naomi has no grandchildren to carry on the family name (Ruth 1:4–5).

ON YOUR OWN AND M&M’S

Q: What news does Naomi hear (Ruth 1:6–7)?

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What does she decide to do?

Q: What has Naomi lost during this venture to Moab (Ruth 1:21)? Q: Have you had a Naomi and Elimelech experience in your life where you tried to manipulate a situation rather then staying put and waiting on God? Explain your answer.

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What were the consequences of rushing ahead of God?

Face-to-Face Reflections Naomi hears that God has again blessed Bethlehem with food, and so she decides to go back home. Why not? She has no ties in Moab. Naomi and Elimelech came to Moab in search of a better life and lost everything. They were trying to escape a famine but Naomi compares her life in Bethlehem as full compared to her empty life now in Moab.

Personal Parable On one of my speaking trips to the East Coast, I chatted with a mother who mentioned that, when her two young daughters were ready to start high school, she and her husband were going to move the family to Texas. When I inquired about the reason for the move, she explained that when their daughters were ready to marry, the newlyweds probably couldn’t afford homes where they now lived. Since these parents wanted to be near their daughters when the girls started their own families, the parents decided to relocate to an area where there were many churches and, hopefully, their daughters would find Christian husbands and settle near the parents. Of course, their daughters could upset the parents’ plans by marrying husbands in the military, as my daughter-inlaw did. However, I’ve reflected on this conversation often as I’ve watched my own daughter, Kim, and her husband move their family to Idaho, and another daughter, Shannon, and her husband struggle financially to keep their family in Orange County where we live. Only God knows if we should have moved to a more affordable area while the girls were younger, but then they might not have met their wonderful husbands. Still, I miss my Idaho grandkids! My husband and I are contemplating a move to be closer to grandchildren in our retirement years. I have lived in California all of my life, having enjoyed many blessings being a native Californian. However, it seems that every session one

year, the economy makes it more difficult to live here. Dave and I are wondering if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to move. We have planned a two-week exploration trip to other states and, while it sounds exciting, I have to wonder if God wants us staying right where we are in a more central location for family gatherings. We are in prayer and much discussion as we contemplate Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plan for us and wrestle with our own moments of discontent.

Mentoring Moment Often we manipulate circumstances, trying to outguess where God is going to bless, when He might just want us to trust that He will provide right where we are.

Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth

Day Five Together for the Journey aomi must have grown to love and accept her daughtersin-law in spite of their differences, and they must have loved her in return because they all started the trip back to Bethlehem together (Ruth 1:6–7). The daughters-in-law didn’t even consider going back home. Theirs was an endearing and committed relationship, and all three women were in tears at the thought of separation (Ruth 1:9–10).

ON YOUR OWN AND M&M’S

Q: Have you witnessed or experienced a mother-in-law/daughterin-law relationship that began with tension and strained feelings, later turning into a loving fondness for each other? Explain:

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What were some of the initial issues that caused the tension and strain?

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What do you think brought women together and helped work out the problems?

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How long did it take?

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Have the issues never been resolved? Why?

Q: Look up Ephesians 6:17. What’s the only offensive weapon we have against Satan and his desire to play havoc in our relationships?

Q: How can you use the Word of God to help you in difficult or strained relationships?

M&M’S

Q: Have you encountered tension in your M&M relationship over personal, situational, or cultural differences? If so, what are some steps you will take to resolve these differences?

Q: Together use the concordance in the back of your Bibles to look up Scriptures on resolving differences between Christians. Note those Scriptures here:

Q: Use the Prayer & Praise Journal starting on page 138 to keep a record of all God does in your relationship so you won’t miss the blessings when they come.

Face-to-Face Reflections The Book of Ruth truly puts to shame all the bad mother-in-law jokes, doesn’t it? While visiting Sean and Janel’s family stationed in Spain, we attended chapel on base. The chaplain began his sermon with a mother-in-law joke: “Summer will be bringing many relatives from 36

Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth

the States to visit the Navy base, and, of course, that will mean the enlisted men will probably all be volunteering for off-base travel assignments because it means there will be many mothers-in-law coming to visit!” These jokes always depict the mother-in-law in a negative light. Naomi certainly doesn’t fit into any of those critical scenarios. In fact, she must have been very special for both her daughters-inlaw, Orpah and Ruth, to consider leaving their own mothers to follow Naomi to Bethlehem.

Personal Parable My dad’s side of the family was Seventh-Day Adventist and my mother’s side was Methodist. My grandmother had seven children, but she definitely favored her three sons, and they were devoted to her. I can remember constant tension between my mother and her motherin-law, my grandmother. When my parents moved away from their hometown, my grandmother was devastated. And when, several years later, my father was killed in the line of duty as a highway patrol officer, my grandmother blamed my mother for the move and his subsequent death. Sadly, theirs was not a Naomi and Ruth relationship. But watching the unrest that it brought to both of them and to my father made me want to have a different kind of relationship, a good relationship, with my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

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Mentoring Moment Dee Brestin writes these comments in The Friendships of Women Workbook: “A mother is going to feel more replaced by a daughter-in-law than she would by a son-in-law. It seems to me that the key is following Naomi’s model. I have determined in my heart to remember how much Ruth and Orpah loved Naomi. If Naomi was jealous when her sons married, she dealt with those feelings and loved Ruth and Orpah as if they were her very own daughters. What a beautiful, inspiring relationship!”

Faith in Action What one thing from this session does God want you to apply in your life today?

Let’s Pray Together Lord, help us to learn from this beautiful story of a mother-in-law and daughters-in-law. Lord, even if we don’t have those relationships in our personal lives, we do have family relationships, and we want to be good witnesses to our family and friends. Help us be godly women who always reflect You in our words and actions. Amen.

Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth