I. RAN. Sometime

I. RAN.

ZOEY COLLEA

I hid in the arms of trees for a few short days and then The tide rolled in with boats made of flesh But no one pulled me up from the water and no one

Rescued me from the fluctuating air that seized my body from an enormous pull and spit me out Backwash on the shore I asked for my mother but they had branded her Dead and alive I still was and awake I still had a tiny piece of something like

Life in me and so I begged my feet to run and I begged for the sun to stay a couple more hours Just in time for me to disappear and drip so far down that they must

Give me planets for eyes Because I am that large

Zoey Collea is 18 years old and is currently looking to publish her first novel. She’s a freshman at Bard College in upstate NY.

Sometime

ZOEY COLLEA

And I fell like dead foliage to the floor If my mother opened the screen door, to let the dogs inside or the bugs out, she would have known, without a doubt That her daughter is happy and somewhere safe I would go to that place Where I miss nothing and fate is fate and the trees bend without snapping and the world quakes but doesn't break For if I might think too hard about it, I’d probably throw it out and not mind it at all

But the bittersweet taste is just beginning to take as the telephone wires no longer lead home and I no longer hear the car tires on the crush shelled driveway Away, away, away I go without warning Maybe I'll resurface when the tide goes back out Sometime when I'm ready to float and not sink Or become color, not blacked out ink

I wonder if they miss me as much as I already miss them I wonder if they know I love them I wonder if they've heard all the things I've never said

Because moving out doesn't mean moving on But this time it may I've left so many times it's starting to not hurt as much But this one is for me, I leave it untouched

And I hope they understand that Because when they're sitting on the couch and watching T.V. I hope they know I haven't deserted them for something better, for something bigger

Because hopefully I'll come back and they'll realize I left for them, for him, for all of us

Because sometime is sometime, sometime from now Sometime when I can no longer hold onto it anymore No more, more, more

It festers like a sour sore And whines like an unnapped child I cradle it now and lull it to sleep

I love them even when the sometime comes I love them through fights and misery and sobriety I love them through all things

All the sometimes and they love me I know it

I hope they understand.