News & Views
Volume 1, Issue 5 May 2017
Insights Anecdotes and Opinions
By Jacqueline Hays PFLAG Beaumont President
I turned the corner in the grocery store and spotted a thin, quite striking, young girl approximately eight years old lying on the bottom shelf on top of all the bags of rice — the exact item I was hunting. She raised her alabaster face and peered at me a little guiltly from under a mass of long red hair. I smiled back as I usually do to any child and also to reassure her that she wasn’t necessarily “caught” misbehaving. The young girl immediately got up and moved to her mother, whose back was to me. I continued down the aisle, perused the rice, made my selection and continued weaving down the subsequent aisles. Ten minutes later, I was in the frozen food section and looked up when I heard voices discussing the items in the refrigerated case. The beautiful young red head was asking about a food item. Interestingly, when we made I contact, she looked away and starting escaped our shared space. Even more interestingly, her presumed mother made several attempts to turn around with a fully-loaded buggy in the middle of the aisle. The cart was loud, difficult to maneuver and she was turning in my direction, I had heard her be very polite as her child asked numerous questions, so I smiled. The woman never mad eye contact with me. She crashed her buggy around while facing me for a full two minutes and refused to look at me. It was at that time I remembered one of the inquisitive question her young charge had asked while we were on the rice aisle. “What does her shirt mean?” I hadn’t been paying close attention to their conversation. I had just heard a slew of questions coming from the little one and a patient mother responding. . It was then I realized what shirt I was wearing. Before setting out to the store, I had donned my “I Stand with Trans Students” T-shirt, dragged a brush through my hair, pulled on a slightly below- the-knee knit skirt and laced up my Vans. I even mentioned, “I have to represent. It is Sunday and I haven’t worn a supportive shirt this week.” I felt I looked like any other dance mom or soccer mom running errands. After the frozen food episode, I became acutely aware of every person’s eyes and if they were pointing in my direction.I was increasing paranoid with my eyes darting around like a crazy lady, which probably increased the looks. I soon checked out and paid for my mountain of groceries, but had to stop at the next store for a few specialty items. In the safety and familiarity of my car, the anxiety that had started to build subsided. As I was quickly grabbing a cart at the second destination, I paused. People were milling in and out of the store and I could
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By Payshunz Nagashima, PFLAG Education Chair
Bob’s Blurb’s
Real Parents Love, Support Their Trans Kids
Dr. Bob says: Last Saturday, Pam and I drove to Resurrection MCC Church in Houston. We were present to listen to a group of trans folks, either parents of trans kids or trans people themselves. All eight were of African American heritage. Below are some of the very interesting ideas expressed there and my conclusions. Observations from Black Trans Men and Black Trans Women:
"I feel isolated all the time, and everywhere. I am feeling lonely." "Parents and preachers estrange us trans people."
"'Formal Religion" sends many (of our people) to hell."
" I haven't stood up for myself and I often feel invisible." "I get my strength from family and friends."
"I am a human being. I breathe the same air. I have the same blood. I am trans."
"I was sent here to be like Jesus. I am my own church; Jesus is in me. Jesus is not in a building." "I myself, try to stand out, and to be very visible."
"The reality of this situation, is that this world is unsafe for us (Black trans people) and especially Black trans women." "Being Black, Transgender, and in the South, in Houston is much worse than in Kansas City, Kansas, where I grew up." "My Black mom told me I was no better and no worse than anyone. Be graceful to everyone.
Cont on 2 as Blurbs
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Blurbs Cont. "Faith has helped me a lot."
"We need progressive churches and ministers to stand up for us publicly. People are dying."
Observations from Parents of Black Trans Children " I Love Everyone Without Qualification." "I Have Faith"
"Religiosity has created our problem."
"People in the Catholic Church had told Martin Luther to deny his own child. He did not, and we should not deny our own trans children."
"Coming Out changed my trans son for the better. I just wish he had known before coming out that his parents both loved him so deeply. He would not have had to suffer for such a long time" “My child came out as Lesbian at 11, then Trans a few years later, and recently now as Gender Queer. We parents need to listen to out children. We must back up our children!" My Conclusions (RSM--old white, cis male)
A. Real parents defend their children, no matter what. These parents are real parents we need to imitate. B. The keys are Jesus, Love, and Faith. Next in line is an open mind and education.
C. Currently it is DANGEROUS, especially in the South, to be Transgender, Black, and especially without supportive parents and supportive family as Trans Black women are killed in higher rates than any other Hate Crime victims. Be a loving and accepting parent.
Robert S. Meier, Ph.D, is Secretary of PFLAG Beaumont and a Texas Psychologist
Monthly Call To Action
To find your U.S. Rep’s contact info, visit www.house.gov/representatives/find
To find your Texas Rep’s contact info, visit www.house.state.tx.us/members/find-your-representative/
Insights Cont. see that every one of them looked at me as I stood there. I then questioned myself. “What if they refuse to serve me because of my shirt?” I never thought that they were possibly glancing at me because I was basically standing like a statue in the middle of an entrance. I tiptoed into the store that was jammed packed on a Sunday at 2:30 p.m. Definite questions penetrated my mind. “Do these people think I am trans?” Fear gripped my chest as what looked to be “church-going” passersby positioning their heads only at my shirt and not at my face. “What if a shopper starts yelling at me or preaching loudly?” I stopped fifteen steps in the store, directly in front of the broccoli. I realized that my loved ones possibly feel suspicious, cautious and maybe even fearful every time they enter any public space. I did more than realize — but had actually succumbed to the fear. I had been walking slowly with my shoulders hunched.
At the moment, I squared my shoulder, targeted my gaze into every person’s I passed and walked in a determined manner through nearly every aisle. I had to walk down nearly every aisle because I kept forgetting for what I was looking. I was pretending to be confident. I was hyper aware of every person. I was trying to hear every utterance and every mumble. I was on high-alert pretending to casually stroll the store. I always try to wear a shirt or pin to show I am a safe person when I travel, but I sometimes don’t think about that during my daily routine. I would have given anything to see a safety pin on a lapel or even a smile in either one of those stores,. I didn’t encounter any outright negativity, and half my suspicions may have been paranoia, but I definitely did not feel welcome in two stores I have frequented weekly for nine years. I came home and was comforted by my family. I the felt guilty for having the comfort of my family when I know that many trans and LGBQ people do not. I can only imagine what others go through everyday, not because of a shirt, because of their actual being.
Equality Fest June 11
PFLAG Beaumont, along with Victoria House and many community members, will host Equality Fest celebrating National Equality Day, Sunday, June 11. Festivities include a walk along the sidewalk from 650 Orleans Street to Crockett Street Entertainment Complex, located at 200 Crockett. Equality Fest will also feature an art walk, outdoor vendors, food trucks and two indoor venues highlighting live music, drag performances, trivia games and DJs. PFLAG Beaumont would like to invite your organization to the event. You may simply attend, rent vendor space, or sponsor a portion of the festival. We will have more information about specific options concerning group participation available online at www.pflag-beau-
mont.com and on the Equality Fest event page on Facebook. The Equality Brunch will be held at LogOn Café, located at 3805 Calder from 11 a.m.2p.m. We invite you and your organization to come and visit, enjoy good food and provide information about your organization to patrons. Please confirm via email or Facebook message that your org will be present so we can promote you! We will have a Volunteer Meeting scheduled for Sunday, June 4, at The Publicity at 3 p.m. -7 p.m. Please look for all three events on Facebook. For any questions, please email pflagbeaumont@gmail.com . Volunteers email: equality.volunteer@gmail.c om Performers email:
victoriahousetx@gmail.co m
Vendors email: equality.vendors@gmail.co m
Sponsor email: pflagbeaumont@gmail.co m Booth space is $15 to vendors. We offer different levels of sponsorship, from $50$3000. All of which come with a booth space. If your organization is interested in anything above $100, please contact the sponsor coordinator at pflagbeaumont@gmail.co m