Dear Ms. Price, My husband is in hospice and is nearing the end of his life. We have been blessed with a wonderful marriage and life together. I admit that I am feeling so many things from shock, despair and confusion. I am surrounded by my loving friends who want to help, but there are some friends who don’t seem to know what to say or what to do. Some people avoid me, which I understand. I’d like to share some words of wisdom as to how to reach out to a friend when they’re going through a death of a loved one: 1. Do reach out. Yes, you might not know what to say, but just being there provides so much comfort. Even if you don’t know the person very well, every kindness means more than you’ll ever know. I had someone I barely know send me a sweet text, and I can’t tell you how that brightened my day. 2. Read the room. Once you’ve said something, read the reaction. I admit that it’s all up and down. One moment I am social and the next I can barely sit up. If your loved one doesn’t respond, give a hug and come back later. 3. Express love and support in the way you feel comfortable. From baking cookies, to sending a card, holding my hand, crying with me or lending a shoulder, it all means so much. 4. Listen. Ask open-ended questions and lend a listening ear. 5. Say the “D” word. I’m not sure if this is just me, but call it what it is; “death.” It’s not “passing away” or being “lost.” It’s death and it sucks.
A Slice of Advice with Ms. Price To submit your questions, email advicemsprice@gmail.com.
6. Thank you. I might not say it often enough, but I am so grateful for every act of generosity, no matter how small. I appreciate you. Anxiety about doing and saying the right thing is really normal, but your desire in wanting to help is positive and appreciated more than you know. Be yourself and either ask directly or try to figure out what they need. There’s probably little to worry about if your intentions are good. And when you go through your own challenging times, I’ll be there for you, too. Sincerely, Grieving in Gulfport
Dear “Grieving in Gulfport,” Thank you for your beautiful words. I couldn’t have said it better myself. On behalf of our readers, we send loving thoughts and prayers to you and your husband. -Ms. Price
Movie Preview: Dune BY RANDAL C. HILL
In 1957, an Oregon newspaperman/sci-fi magazine writer named Frank Herbert made a trip to the town of Florence, Oregon. He was there to gather information for a feature story about the wide-ranging sand dunes, shore pine trees and beach grass that encompassed 40 miles of the central Oregon coast. What he saw inspired a story idea about a barren, distant planet called Arrakis. The feature story was never written. Herbert spent six years creating Dune, then endured rejection from 20 publishers before the Chilton Company (best known for its auto-repair manuals) accepted Herbert’s massive manuscript in 1965. Dune ultimately became the world’s most popular sci-fi novel ever. Five sequels also became best-sellers, but none would contain the impact of the original. Seven attempts have been made to bring Dune to the big screen, the only commercial release until now being the critically trashed box-office bomb by David Lynch in 1984. Roger Ebert would proclaim it “a real mess.” The 2021 Dune is a new adaptation rather than a remake Image from IMDb of Lynch’s work, and the early buzz has WINNER writ large all over it. Director Denis Villeneuve (Blade Runner 2049, Arrival) has managed to breathe life into Herbert’s opus in a way that most audience members will easily be able to follow the complex—some would even say convoluted—Dune story line.
Lifestyles After 50 • October 2021 • 12
The focus of Herbert’s 772-page epic is on young Paul Atreides (rising star Timothee Chalamet, whose breakout role came in Call Me by Your Name). He’s a brilliant young man whose family has taken on the stewardship of Arrakis, a planet considered the most dangerous—and coveted—in the universe. Arrakis is the only source of mélange, the most precious resource in existence, a spicy drug that manages to unlock humanity’s greatest potential. Not surprisingly, powerful and ruthless forces seek to wrest control of Arrakis and reap the benefits of mélange as well as control its trade. Atreides, born to fulfill a family prophesy, realizes he must conquer his near-crippling fears to effectively vanquish seemingly insurmountable foes. The Warner Brothers film was, as with so many movies, delayed in 2020 because of the pandemic. Herbert’s honored creation—it won the inaugural Nebula Award for Best Novel—is now scheduled to open in theaters and on HBO Max on October 22. Drawing on elements of ecology, philosophy and adventure, and powered by mind-bending psychedelic special effects, Villeneuve’s offering (budgeted at $200 million) will cover the first two thirds of Herbert’s tome; part two will conclude with the remainder of the story.
