New York Family November 1, 2010 by New York Family

Best In Birthdays | Spotlight On Special Needs | Home Design Guide NOVEMBER

November 2010

2010

Established 1986

JULIANNE

MOORE WWW.NEWYORKFAMILY.COM

On Fame, Family And The Magic of ‘Freckleface Strawberry’

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Whether shaking maracas or practicing scales, kids reap innumerable benefits from exploring music

November 2010

INSIDE

FEATURES

HOME DESIGN: COOL IDEAS FOR KIDS’ ROOMS Some of our favorite design finds for nursery through tween; plus, expert advice on everything from choosing color to saving space

OH, TOY! From classic to cutting edge, great children’s gifts to inspire your holiday shopping

DEPARTMENTS

a Birthdays on a budget: Expert tips for planning perfectly magical kids’ parties without breaking the bank; plus, pennysaving party advice from local moms (pg. 76)

THE COVER: Julianne Moore. Photo shot by Brian Bowen Smith (bowensmith.com.)

New York Family | November 2010

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY News from New York Family, including contests and giveaways and our recently revamped events calendar

COLUMNS

EDITOR’S NOTE This quiet life

PARENTS GUIDE Considering adoption? What you need to know

A SPECIAL PLACE With creative children’s classes, original “do-it-together” crafts and a scrumptious seasonal menu, Moomah is a family café like no other

88 20

STARTING OUT Searching for the perfect name for your bundle of joy? Here’s how to make the process simpler and more fun.

BUZZWORTHY A developmental educational dining experience; capturing “significant” memories; the coolest new kids’ crafts place in town; and more great ideas for November

IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD 1280 Fifth Avenue brings modern design and relaxed family living to East Harlem

32 88

TEN IDEAS Our monthly round-up of family fun in the city

BIRTHDAY BASICS a A birthday art hunt at the Metropolitan Museum; plus, fantasy fetes at venues all over the city (pg.67) a Spectacular sleepovers: Helpful tips and inspired ideas for slumber party success (pg. 74)

ON SECOND THOUGHT A noted author wrestles with the decision to have a baby

SPOTLIGHT ON SPECIAL NEEDS a 20 things to know if your child has special needs: A mom of two shares her wisdom about raising children with developmental challenges (pg. 52) a An extraordinary ordinary life: An NYC mom who has cerebral palsy reflects on the joys and challenges of parenting with a disability (pg. 54) a Understanding the special needs landscape: How to navigate the city’s maze of evaluations, programs and services (pg. 56) a A Special Role: The creator of the NBC show ‘Parenthood’ draws inspiration from his family’s experience with Asperger’s syndrome (pg. 58)

WILD STRAWBERRY Long before she became one of the most acclaimed actresses of her generation, Julianne Moore was a self-conscious, frecklecovered kid who dreamed of being like everybody else

ACTIVITY OF THE MONTH

CULTURE GUIDE FOR KIDS October’s best exhibits and performances for kids; plus, an interview with the directors of Disney’s “Tangled”

CORRECTIONS: *On the October Buzzworthy page, Cherry’s Pharmacy owner Charles Tabouchirani’s name was spelled incorrectly. www.newyorkfamily.com

New York Family’s

Child Modeling Contest

Does your child have modeling potential? Grand Prize: One lucky winner will be featured on the April Cover of NYF Magazine and receive exclusive representation from Generation Model Management.

Runners Up: One winner from each age category will be part of a fashion spread within the April Issue and receive a consulting interview with Generation Model Management. Finalists will be chosen by our panel of judges including: Patti Fleischer, President of Generation Model Management Melissa O’Neal, Head Photographer, Classic Kids Photography Cozy Friedman, Founder & CEO Cozy’s Cuts for Kids and So Cozy Hair Care Perry and Sheri Schorr, & Barry Cohen, Owners of LESTER’S Clothing . Shoes . Accessories Joy Sherwood, New York Family Magazine, Style Director New York Family Magazine will host a Children’s Modeling Contest from Oct ’10 – Dec ’10. Complete the online registration & post your child’s recent photo. There will be four age groups being judged: Infant, 1-3, 4-7, and 8-10. Photographs will only be accepted from non-professional children living in the ﬁve boroughs with adult approval. Employees or relatives of Manhattan Media are not elligible. There is a $20 processing fee for the contest. Photos are property of Manhattan Media.

Visit

www.newyorkfamily.com to enter and win!

Improve Up to TWO GRADE LEVELS! One-On-One Tutoring EBL Coaching â&#x20AC;˘ 212-249-0147 Dr. Emily Levy, Director www.eblcoaching.com 0 Reading comprehension & writing 0 Multi-sensory math 0 Phonics instruction & reading fluency 0 State test preparation 0 Study & organizational skills 0 Orton-Gillingham based instruction 0 Dyslexia & ADD programs 0 Home tutoring available in NYC, Brooklyn, Queens, Westchester and New Jersey 0 We accept Department of Education funding at the enhanced rate for special education students

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EDITOR AND CO-PUBLISHER Eric Messinger emessinger @ manhattanmedia.com ART DIRECTOR Mitchell Hoffman mhoffman @ manhattanmedia.com

Training the dancers of tomorrow

DEPUTY EDITOR Katie Main kmain @ manhattanmedia.com STYLE DIRECTOR Joy Sherwood jsherwood @ manhattanmedia.com DEPUTY ART DIRECTOR Jessica Balaschak jbalaschak@ manhattanmedia.com PRODUCTION MANAGER Mark Stinson mstinson @ manhattanmedia.com DEPUTY PRODUCTION MANAGER Heather Mulcahey hmulcahey @ manhattanmedia.com PHOTO EDITOR Andrew Schwartz aschwartz@ manhattanmedia.com

! "$ %

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Photo: Rosalie Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Connor

SENIOR EDITOR Darcy Newell dnewell@manhattanmedia.com CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Daniel S. Burnstein, Suzanne Cohen, Heidi Green, Thaddeus Harden, Jennifer Lee, Josh Lehrer, Sarah Merians CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Janet Allon, Leah Black, Heather Chaet, Cristina Dimen, Amanda Ferris, Katie Garton, Tiffanie Green, Rachael Horowitz, Michelle Levine, Meredith Lopez, Megan Maxson, Lisa Rogal, Amy Spiro, Erika Thormahlen, Jill Valente, Lauren Wetzel GROUP PUBLISHER Alex Schweitzer 212-284-9735, aschweitzer @ manhattanmedia.com PUBLISHER John Hurley 212-268-3086, jhurley @ manhattanmedia.com ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Mary Ann Oklesson maoklesson @ manhattanmedia.com SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGER Gina Waldman gwaldman @ manhattanmedia.com ASSISTANT to the PUBLISHER Marissa Broxmeyer mbroxmeyer @ manhattanmedia.com

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CIRCULATION Joe Bendik jbendik@ manhattanmedia.com ADVERTISING COORDINATOR Jennie Valenti jvalenti @ manhattanmedia.com BUSINESS MANAGER Shawn Scott sscott@manhattanmedia.com ACCOUNTS MANAGER Kathy Pollyea kpollyea @ manhattanmedia.com MANHATTAN MEDIA PRESIDENT/CEO Tom Allon tallon @ manhattanmedia.com

Harryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Shoes For Kids 2315 Broadway (between 83rd and 84th St.), New York, NY Tip Top Kids 149 W 72nd St., New York, NY Orva Shoes 155 E 86th St., New York, NY Paragon Sports 867 Broadway (at 18th St.), New York, NY Lesterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s of New York 1534 2nd Ave. (at 80th St.), New York, NY

New York Family | November 2010

CFO/COO Joanne Harras jharras @ manhattanmedia.com FOUNDING PUBLISHER Barbara Witt MARKETING DIRECTOR Tom Kelly tkelly @ manhattanmedia.com EVENTS MANAGER Stephanie Musso smusso @ manhattanmedia.com New York Family is a division of Manhattan Media, publishers of AVENUE magazine, Our Town, West Side Spirit, New York Press, Mitzvah Magazine, The Capitol, City Hall, City Arts, Chelsea Clinton News, The Westsider and The Blackboard Awards. ÂŠ 2008 Manhattan Media, LLC | 79 Madison Avenue, 16th Floor, New York, NY 10016 | t: 212.268.8600 | f: 212.268.0577 www.manhattanmedia.com

www.newyorkfamily.com

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Best In Birthdays | Spotlight On Special Needs | Home Design Guide

edit â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

November 2010 Established 1986

NOTE JULIANNE

This Quiet Life

ucked into our interview with Julianne Moore is a comment about how one can live â&#x20AC;&#x153;a quiet lifeâ&#x20AC;? in the city. She doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t elaborate, but we all know what she means, right? On the surface, New York is loud, dirty and overstuffed. But if you like being here, chances are you like the little routines of your life, and the communities of friends and neighbors that you and your family spend your time with. As much as she enjoys the quiet side of the city, Moore herself has a lot to say, and our interviewer, senior editor Darcy Newell, was especially impressed with Mooreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s insights into children. If you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t already shared Mooreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Freckleface Strawberryâ&#x20AC;? books with your children, they are gemsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and as youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve probably heard, the freckled heroine was inspired by Mooreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own childhood.

MOORE

Though I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know Moore personally, I do know Y TGO Rose Caiola, UIDE the driving force behind the creation of the splendid musical version of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Freckleface Strawberry,â&#x20AC;? which opened in the city in October. An NYC mom and founder of the wonderful Manhattan Movement & Arts Center on the Upper West Side, Rose doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have freckles, but she dreams big and was passionate enough about the book to both produce and co-write the musical. As honored as I am to have Julianne on our cover, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s as much of an honor to feature people like Rose, who give so much to improve the day-to-day of being a child in the city. On that note, I also want to tip DAY HOLI

my hat to Tracey Stewart, the founder of Moomah, a truly appealing cafĂŠ thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also a truly special creative oasis for kids. Marrying an instinct for helping other parents with a passion for original crafts and designs, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s created this wonderful family-friendly hybrid that only she could have. Have you heard about their Funky Forest? If not, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time for a visit. Read more about Moomah on page 32. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s inspiration scattered all over this issue, from the Holiday Toy Guide to our stories about planning a childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s birthday, fantasy or budget. But Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m especially proud of the variety of coverage in our section on special needs. We are so lucky to have moms like Joanna Dreifus and Sandy Krulwich among us.

On Fame, Family And The Magic of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Freckleface Strawberryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Live long and enjoy November,

ERIC MESSINGER emessinger@manhattanmedia.com

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Welcome to the Family UPCOMING EVENTS

Prizes

AND

GIVEAWAYS

Camp Fair Fun Whether you’re looking for the right sleepaway camp, local day camp, or specialty camp for your child, our camp fairs, cosponsored by the American Camp Association, offer parents and children (from 3 to 13) the opportunity to meet over 50 camps and camp directors! This year’s camp fairs begin November 13 and 14 on the Upper East and Upper West Sides. For more details and to pre-register, visit blackboardcamps.com. Those who pre-register qualify to win a weekend vacation at Woodloch Resort in the Poconos!

Help Us Support Adoption Founded by Manhattan parents Becky and Kipp Fawcett, HelpUsAdopt.org is a not-for-profit organization that provides financial assistance to adoptive families. We’re proud to be a media sponsor for HelpUsAdopt.org’s first annual family fun day, which will take place on November 13th at Gymtime Rhythm & Glues (1520 York Avenue at 80th Street). The event, which will consist of two parties (one from 10-11:30 a.m. and another from 11-12:30 p.m.) will be a combination gym, dance party and pizza lunch in Gymtime’s new expanded space. For more information, visit helpusadopt.org or call 253-399-6780.

ON THE

W E

Win MOmma’s Developmental Warm Meal Set MOmma, an exciting new Italian collection of baby and toddler essentials, has created the Developmental Warm Meal Set, a colorful dining set that encourages babies to explore the world around them and develop motor skills as they enjoy their meal. The plate is designed with a non-slip and non-tip base, and the fork and spoon also feature a non-slip grip and a spherical base that keeps utensils upright—perfect for unsteady hands. We’re giving away a dining set to ﬁve reader families! To win, write to us at newyorkfamily@ manhattanmedia.com with the subject line “MOmma Set.” Please include your contact information. Deadline: Monday, November 22.

Win Classic Collection

Follow Us On Twitter: New York Family is now on Twitter! Check in throughout the day for great family events, special giveaways, news items, and more tips on family life in the city. Go to twitter.com/newyorkfamily.

Make Some Plans With New York Family We know that sifting through the city’s vast cultural and extracurricular offerings for kids can be a tiresome undertaking, which is why we’re proud to unveil what we hope will be a helpful resource for city parents: our Family Planner. A full-service events calendar, the Family Planner provides busy parents the information they need about the best performances, workshops, exhibitions, seminars, ﬁlm screenings, concerts—you name it—for kids of all ages and in every neighborhood. With the Family Planner, you can ﬁnd out exactly where an event will take place with a handy map function and even share your plans with friends. Best of all? If you sign up for our weekly events newsletter, you’ll receive a succinct overview of each weekend’s best offerings, right to your mailbox. Register and learn more at newyorkfamily.com.

New York Family | November 2010

Scholastic’s new DVD box set “The Scholastic Treasury of Storybook Classics” is a wonderful (and expansive) addition to any family’s story collection. The 20-hour, 17-DVD set features 100 beloved and awardwinning tales (from “Corduroy” to “Good Night Moon” To “Giggle Giggle Quack”) narrated by memorable voices from the entertainment industry like Cyndi Lauper, Zach Braff, Stockard Channing and more. What’s more, the DVDs utilize Scholastic’s innovative read-along function, which helps promote early literacy in even the youngest readers, plus discussion questions, author interviews and more. Best of all, we’re giving away two box sets to two lucky readers! To win, write to us at newyorkfamily@manhattanmedia. com with the subject line “Storybook Treasures.” Please include your contact information. Deadline: Monday, November 22.

www.newyorkfamily.com

Fun awaits on Fifth Avenue! 767 Fifth Avenue • New York, NY FAO.com

Come and experience the world-famous fun of FAO Schwarz, and leave with lasting memories—along with the best gifts for everyone on your Christmas List! Timeless toys, enchanting exhibits and “Big Piano” performances await! One visit and you’ll discover why FAO is a top stop for NYC tourists and residents of all ages. Call (212) 644-9400 to schedule parties or off-hour Toy Soldier Tours.

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10/13/10 2:42 PM

buzz

Q W H AT A RE-MAKE! In the category of kid-friendly craft

WORTHY

places, the Upper West Side’s new craft studio Make Meaning may be a true

Q A VERY

game-changer, offering a varied menu of crafts in a setting that’s so colorful,

PRECOCIOUS PIGEON

kids are going think they’re walking into a candy store! Chances are, though, they’ll be just as pleased to get their hands

Mo Willem’s magical children’s stories

on the creative projects in soap, glass, ceramics, jewelry, candles and paper. Lo-

come to life with Scholastic’s new DVD

cated on Columbus Avenue between 75th and 76th Streets, Make Meaning offers

“Don’t Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus!...

“walk-in” and class options, fresh birthday alternatives and an incredible gift

And More Stories by Mo Willems,”

emporium. For more info, check out makemeaning.com.

which features animated adaptations

Q SIGNIFICANT MEMORIES

of three of the author’s most beloved stories. The title tale regales kids with the story of a courageous young pigeon (a character that the New York Times has called “one of this decade’s contributions to the pantheon of great picture book characters”) who is determined to drive a city bus, much to the driver’s surprise and protest! Available now, Scholastic.com

Looking for something a little more creative than the typical montage of family photos and videos? Significant Films, a film production company run by industry vets David Frieberg and Peter Galperin, produces unique, insightful and humorous personal films, which are a great way to celebrate a birthday, anniversary, corporate event or bar/bat mitzvah. Featuring guest appearances from friends and family and hi-definition video technology, plus tons of sophisticated features like voice-overs, Hollywood-style titles and credit sequences, your film will not only be the hit of the evening, but will serve as a treasured keepsake for years to come. For more information, visit significantfilms.com.

Q THANKFUL FOR BOOKS We know kids love Thanksgiving (delicious food, plus football, family and a big parade, what’s not to love?) but it’s nice to share the THE CHECKLIST FOR

meaning behind the holiday—in addition to your famous pump-

November

kin pie. There are tons of great books about Thanksgiving for kids of every age and reading level; for young kids, we love “The First Thanksgiving: A Lift-the-Flap Book,” by Nancy Davis, which features bright photos and accessible text; for older kids, Susan Sloate’s “Pardon That Turkey: How Thanksgiving Became a Holiday” is a fun and educa-

tional read; and tweens will love Fran Manushkin’s “Katie Saves

Thanksgiving,” a short chapter book that regales readers with Katie Woo’s holiday mishaps. All available at Amazon.com.

Q A D E V E L O P M E N TA L I N D I N I N G For the 21st Century baby, even mealtime is educational! MOmma, an exiting

RE FOR MO EAS TIPS & ID VISIT om ily.c newyorkfam

new collection of baby and toddler essentials, has created the Developmental Make Meaning photo by Paloma Pargac

Warm Meal Set, a colorful dining set that encourages babies to develop motor skills as they enjoy their meal. If you're preparing a warm meal, simply pour hot water into the plate’s opening to keep the food at the desired temperature. The plate is designed with a non-slip and non-tip base, and the set also comes with a fork and spoon, both of which feature a non-slip grip and a spherical base that keeps them upright and away from soiled surfaces. Intended for ages 4-6 months; $22 at ginseystore.com. (See page TK for a chance to win a set!)

New York Family | November 2010

www.newyorkfamily.com

No Time Like The "Present"

Gymtime is the savvy parent's resource for recreational and educational activities for children ages 6 months to 18 years old. We offer: n MOMMY & ME CLASSES n RECREATIONAL GYMNASTICS n COMPETITIVE TEAM GYMNASTICS n SPORTS & FITNESS n TAE KWON DO n COOKING, ART & MuSIC CLASSES n COMbO CLASSES n bIRThDAY PARTIES

1520 York Avenue, New York, NY 10028 • 212.861.7732

For more information and a full list of classes for your child visit: www.gymtime.net.

THE MANDELL SCHOOL Rolls Out A Menu Of Incredible Extracurricular Offerings—For Everyone

AFTERSCHOOL

EXCELLENCE BY MEGAN MAXSON

Dribbl. Rowe sought out afterschool programs whose quality of instruction matched that of the school’s academic programs, allowing Mandell to weave aspects of each program into its general curriculum. Founded by veteran filmmakers Megan Kiefer (“Get On The Limo”) and Matt Makar (“Nursery University”), Take Two Film Academy offers independent and afterschool film classes for children as young as five years old. Currently, the students in their afterschool class at Mandell are beginning production on documentaries that explore local social issues, including “Solution Pollution” (“For an entire day, students will try not to use any energy and they’ll be interviewing people about their energy consumption,” Kiefer says),

New York Family | November November2010 2010

www.newyorkfamily.com

New York Family Partner Proﬁle

ANDREW SCHWARTZ PHOTOS

nown for its combination of academic excellence combined with a progressive, experiential approach to education, the Mandell School on the Upper West Side places a special emphasis on responsible citizenship and a commitment to staying connected to the local community. Now, Mandell is reaching out to its community and inviting more young New Yorkers in. “We’ve always felt that, although we don’t have enough places for everyone who wants to be here for our academic program, it would be wonderful to open the school up to the local community of children using our afterschool program,” says Gabriella Rowe, head of The Mandell School and granddaughter of the school’s founder, Max Mandell. Long one of the Upper West Side’s most distinguished nursery schools, in recent years the Mandell School has expanded to include kindergarten through eighth grade, housed in not one but three new state-of-the-art spaces: one at Columbus Avenue and 96th Street, and two more on Columbus between 98th and 100th Street, which opened this fall. The new facilities allowed the school to realize its goal of offering afterschool programs to the community, as well as to Mandell students. So at the beginning of this school year, Mandell opened two afterschool programs— the filmmaking program Take Two Film Academy and the language program Carousel of Languages. Next up, the school will add the popular children’s basketball program

and “Cycle Wars,” which will explore the tension between the city’s cyclists and pedestrians. “When students get to see their project come to life and show it to their friends and family, it is always very empowering,” Kiefer says. Beginning this winter, Mandell students as well as those from other schools can choose between four afterschool classes offered by Take Two: Filmmaking and Screenwriting, Film Acting, Documentary Filmmaking, and Green Screen and Editing. Students use professional-grade equipment and have full access to Mandell’s new Mac lab, which has twelve Macs that have Final Cut Pro installed (the most professional editing software available), as well as Mandell’s studio production room with a green screen. “It’s a very powerful course for children to take,” says Rowe, noting that the program will teach children how to use film to communicate ideas, capture the world around them, discuss a social problem or explore a community issue. Mandell School is also collaborating with Carousel of Languages to provide French, Spanish, Italian and Mandarin classes to children starting as early as six months old. Founder Patrizia Saraceni Corman, who began the program over ten years ago, says the advantages of starting language instruction early on are overwhelming. Saraceni Corman consulted with early childhood specialists and linguists to develop a curriculum that gets results—and that kids love. “We make it a very joyful, positive experience,” she says. “Our methodology is based on verbal, visual and tactile associations. If we’re talking about an apple, an apple goes in their hand, with a picture, and with the teacher articulating it properly.” Teachers, who are always native speakers, also help students explore culture during class, and offer an online component so that children and their families can practice outside of class. “The joy of learning another language is part of their day-to-day now, as they walk into a Chinese restaurant or hear Spanish being spoken on the streets,” Saraceni Corman says. Rowe describes Carousel of Languages’ teachers as “the best of the best.” “They are child-centered, they are gentle, they are experiential, and they do a beautiful job in every one of their programs,” she says. Most recently, Mandell has teamed up with Teddy Frischling, head of The Dalton School’s Athletic Department and founder of Dribbl, a basketball class for kids. Dribbl, which began sixteen years ago, has long been a popular and well-regarded program on the Upper East Side, and Frischling jumped at the chance to establish a West Side base in Mandell’s bright, new, full-sized gymnasium.

Frischling prides himself on Dribbl’s small class size and the quality of his coaches, who, he points out, are teachers first. The emphasis is not on winning, but on fundamentals, sportsmanship, participation and learning skills. “The idea is that kids learn basketball with nice people and get good exercise,” he says. Rowe was drawn to Frischling’s belief that children should feel that success is in the effort. “We want them to grow up to be lifelong athletes and feel good about their bodies,” she says. “As we do in the use of their minds and their voices, we want children to be skilled in the use of

their bodies.” Rowe hopes that by the start of the 2011-2012 school year, Mandell will have at least a half-dozen afterschool programs available to the public. They are also planning to offer almost a dozen half- and full-day summer classes, including a theatre class that will make use of Mandell’s black box theatre, more sports programs, a cooking program that will be held in the school’s learning kitchens and environmental science classes, which will take place in the school’s hydroponics lab and outside garden. The common thread through all of these programs, Rowe says, is the combination of excellent teachers and the focus on the joy of learning. “I love the opportunity to provide diversified enrichment for children outside of their school day,” she says. “That’s what enrichment should be—new and different and fun, and it should broaden their horizons and give them a sense of the unlimited possibilities for what they can do with their lives.” For more info, visit mandellschool.org.

“Enrichment should be new and different and fun,” Rowe says. “It should broaden students’ horizons and give them a sense of the unlimited possibilities for what they can do with their lives.”

www.newyorkfamily.com

November 2010 | New York Family

New York Family Partner Proﬁle

S TA R T I N G

Out

Name

Of The Game Between Navigating A Sea Of (Often Unwanted) Advice And Butting Heads With Your Better Half, Finding The Right Name For Your Baby Can Be Difficult. Here’s How To Make The Process Simpler And More Fun BY HEATHER CHAET

aming your child may be one of the toughest decisions you and your spouse make together. How do you avoid having the eighth Olivia at the playground? How do you deal with in-laws who suggest a family name that rhymes with poop? We chatted with the experts— Jennifer Moss, founder and CEO of Babynames.com and author of “The One-In-A-Million Baby Name Book,” and Pamela Redmond Satran, creator of Nameberry.com and co-author of “The Baby Name Bible”—to find out the top five things to keep in mind on your quest for the perfect name. 1. Advice is good. Unbiased advice is better. Once you break the happy news that you are expecting, be ready for opinions—lots of them. Many expectant couples grapple with whether to keep their potential names private or share them with friends and family. “[Sharing the names you are considering] is a good way to gauge if a name is hard to understand or if it’s trendier than you think, but family members can give bad advice based on their own preferences,” Redmond Satran says. She suggests turning to unbiased sources, like message boards on websites like Nameberry. “One thing that has surprised us is how many ‘name nerds’ there are out there,” she says. “These are regular people who

New York Family | November 2010

like hanging out on message boards and dispense excellent advice without personal agendas.” 2. Tradition! Tradition? Say you are Lutheran and your husband is Jewish, and are trying to find a name that honors both faiths. “This is a first step in a long journey of reconciling different traditions. You have to respect each other’s beliefs and find a middle ground,” Redmond Satran says. Instead of looking to saints or the Torah, Moss suggests looking back in your own lives and finding someone to honor there. “Ask yourself who were the teachers that mentored you, or characters from literature that helped shape your character,” she suggests. Both experts recommend using your child’s middle name to honor your history or culture. “The middle name has become the place to express creativity, or for a family or an ethnic name,” Redmond Satran says. 3. Play pretend! Your kid has to live with this name forever—why not try it out for a day? “Go to a coffee shop and use the name as your name,” suggests Moss. “See how people react to it and how the name feels for you.” She also encourages parents to always keep the perspective of the child in mind. “If you give your son a common name that has a ‘creative’ spelling, he

H E L Le O is my nam

??? is going to have the burden of spelling it for people every day.” Moss reminds parents to use common sense—names should be easy to spell and pronounce, and shouldn’t be a joke or pun. “Ask yourself if the name can grow with the child—it might be cute for a twoyear-old, but will it work in the board room?” She especially emphasizes this for naming twins. “Try to avoid cutesy, matching names. Twins are going to have to share everything—their birthdays, their looks, their clothes. Give them their own names.” 4. Do your research (but beware). You want to find out the meaning of Marvin or find out just how popular Matilda is? Surf around online, but be careful. “Be sure you are using are the best sources out there,” Redmond Satran warns. “There is so much information online, but there’s also a lot of misinformation out there. There are a handful of great sites that give genuine meanings and sensible advice.” 5. Even The Name Game has rules. You love the name Crosby. Your partner hates it. What do you do? Redmond Satran suggests laying at least one ground rule: if one of you really hates the name, the other one has to take it off the table. “It’s all about compromise,” Moss agrees, “and one parent shouldn’t have the entire burden of coming up with names. Often one parent has the list and the other parent just is the veto person. Like any decision, it has to be a two-way street.” For more baby-naming w is dom, c h e c k o u t N a m e b e r r y. c o m a n d Babynames.com. www.newyorkfamily.com

Photo: Bill Foley

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“If I Knew Then What I Know Now…” Negotiating The College Application And Admission Process Can Be A Complex And Anxiety-Ridden Experience. The College Advisory Network, A New NYC-Based Counseling Service, Helps Ease The Way.

sk any parent of a high school student what keeps them up at night, and chances are getting in to the “right” college will be at the top. Financing a college education may not be far behind. The average total cost to attend a private college or university in 2010 is more than $35,600 per year. Nor does it inspire confidence to know that the number of applications is at an all-time high, and the rate of acceptances to top schools is dropping. What’s a parent to do? The first place to turn is to your child’s high school guidance counselor, but often that person is too overtaxed to give individual students the attention they need. There’s the do-it-yourself method, which involves countless hours of poring through an endless inventory of online resources and “how to” books, a healthy dose of nagging (from you) and foot-dragging (from your child). But books and blogs don’t know the one critical element that matters most—your child. Enter The College Advisory Network, a joint venture between Manhattan Media, the publishers of New York Family, and Smart City Kids, New York’s premier admissions counseling service for students entering nursery school through high school. “We know there are thousands of families struggling with college applications and the admission process,” said Roxana Reid, president of Smart City Kids and The College Advisory Network. “Our aim was to put together a network of the very best advisors,

counselors and college admission experts to help in every specific area.” Addressing The Needs And Goals Of Each Student. As Reid explains, it’s the College Advisory Network’s method of differentiating the true needs of a student that makes it more effective than other college guidance services. “For each and every student who comes through our door, we assign the very best advisor to work one-onone, and provide a program that is specifically tailored to the accomplishments and unique qualities of each student,” she said. “We also provide counseling for special needs students, athletes, musicians and actors, and offer consultations on applications for engineering and architecture majors.

process as early as freshman year, and continue with individualized programs through senior year. Each program is specially designed to address critical issues in each year of high school, including course selection, summer activities, jobs during the school year and in the summer, extracurricular activities, leadership, community service, developing relationships with teachers, managing standardized tests, and improving writing skills. For juniors and seniors, attention is devoted to preparing for college visits, setting up and excelling in on-campus interviews, developing a portfolio for presentation to admission officers as well as department heads, and financial aid (grants, scholarships, loans, etc.). Reflecting on her own son’s college application experience, Ms. Reid wistfully remarks that she wishes she had known at the outset everything she knows now. “It’s a remarkable, wonderful journey, filled with anxiety, hope and unimaginable ups and downs,” she says. “Our goal is to make the journey less stressful, and the outcome a total success. Every student we counsel will receive the experience and expertise of the best advisors in the field. And we’ll be with them, every step of the way, right up to that happy day when they receive their acceptance letters.”

“We assign the very best advisor to provide a program that is tailored to the accomplishments and unique qualities of each student.”

“All in all, we are the first and only resource that combines the best in college application counseling with the most prestigious counselors in the field,” Reid concludes. The College Advisory Network utilizes the experienced counsel of a network of college advisors, including faculty from top private schools and public high schools as well as specialists from universities, college and prep schools throughout the East Coast. Attention at every grade level, for every type of student. The College Advisory Network can help prepare your student for the college application

New York Family | November 2010

For info on The College Advisory Network or to sign up for an upcoming college application and admission seminar, visit thecollegeadvisorynetwork.com, or call at 212-996ICAN (4226). www.newyorkfamily.com

New York Family Partner Proﬁle

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GUIDE

BY HELENE LAUFFER

Thinking About Growing Your Family Through Adoption? Here’s What You Need To Know Editor’s Note: November has been designated National Adoption Month, making it a great time for those considering adoption to learn more about the process. We asked Helene Lauffer of Spence-Chapin Adoption Services to offer potential adoptive parents an overview of today’s adoption landscape. he adoption field has changed in unimaginable ways over the past century, as society has changed its views about child welfare, out-of-wedlock parenting, infertility and even the definition of family. Most significantly, we have moved from decades of great stigma and secrecy surrounding adoption to an era of much greater understanding of its benefits and complexities. Parents interested in exploring adoption have three choices: international, private domestic and foster care adoption through the public system. This article addresses the first two programmatic choices; New Yorkers interested in learning more about our local foster care system should start by visiting nyc.gov/html/acs/html/become_parent/how_adopt.shtml. Compared to several decades ago, adoption is in some ways easier and in some ways more difficult to pursue as a path to parenting. Here is what you need to know about adoption in 2010.

Why Easier? Adoption has become more mainstream. Approximately 60% of Americans have a personal connection

New York Family | November 2010

Adoption

101 to adoption (adoptioninstitute.org). Walking around New York City, it is visible in the pairings of parents and children across racial and ethnic lines. This is in part due to the increase in international adoptions, which hit a peak of close to 23,000 to the U.S. in 2004. Adoption is much less stigmatized. People openly talk about their infertility experiences and their adoptions with their families, their colleagues, and ultimately their children. Adoption is more accessible. Information about adopting internationally, domestically or through the

foster care system is easy to find on the Internet.

Why More Difﬁcult? Adoption presents a wide array of choices. Potential adoptive parents are challenged to assess, decipher and synthesize these choices in order to determine what kind of adoption is best for their family. Adoption takes time. Some of that time involves paperwork and clearances. Some of it is used for education about adoptive parenting. Some of it is just waiting: waiting to be picked by a birth mother in the case of domestic www.newyorkfamily.com

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adoption, or waiting through the many steps of the process in an international adoption. Adoption can be expensive. Costs vary considerably depending on the process and the provider and, in the

stay informed. •Eligibility criteria vary by country and have become more stringent; few countries allow singles or gays and lesbians to parent, and many have strict requirements about medical and psychological history, marital status and other factors.

Compared to several decades ago, adoption is in some ways easier and in some ways more difﬁcult to pursue as a path to parenting. case of international, the country of origin of the child. It is important to understand costs, payment and refund policies and time frames for payment before beginning the process. Adoption involves risk. Risk that a birth parent will back out of the process, risk that a country will close to adoption mid-process, and risk related to the medical, developmental and emotional welfare of the child who is adopted. Working with an experienced, accredited and licensed agency or other adoption professional will help ensure that your process is as smooth as possible.

What You Need to Know About International Adoption •International adoption appeals to families who have a broad world view and who are interested in embracing the history, culture and traditions of an adopted child’s birth country. •International travel is usually required at some point in the process. •International adoption is volatile; countries open and close due to complex issues of politics, economics and social factors. It is important to If you’re interested in supporting adoptive families, one organization we love is HelpUsAdopt.org, which provides grants and ﬁnancial assistance to those hoping to adopt. They’re hosting a family-friendly fundraising event on November 13—ﬁnd out more on page 18!

New York Family | November 2010

•Many countries are stepping up to the challenge of promoting and facilitating adoptions in-country; as a result, the children available for international placement tend to be older and/or with special needs. •The process is paperwork-intensive in order to meet the requirements of U.S and foreign governments, and wait times are increasing.

INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION: Popular And Recently Closed Countries

In terms of international programs, the era of countries with large sending programs appears to be over. In the future, we are likely to see a number of small and medium-sized programs. Below is a list of countries many parents are adopting from today (eligibility criteria vary; learn more about particular country requirements at adoption.state.gov), along with a list of previously popular but recently closed countries:

Currently Popular: Recently Closed: Ethiopia South Korea Russia China

Guatemala Vietnam Kazakhstan Nepal —H. L.

•Most international adoptions require the intervention and support of an accredited and licensed agency.

What You Need to Know About Domestic Adoption

with all transactions on the Internet, caution must be taken to be sure that you know and can trust the people with whom you are working.

•Most families adopting domestically are adopting infants.

How to Get Started

•Domestic adoption is increasingly about some level of openness between adoptive families and birth families—a trend that is viewed positively by most professionals and by many adoptive families who have ongoing contact with birth families. •It is typical for birth parents to choose the family who will parent their children. Gays, lesbians and singles can apply through the domestic process. •Here in New York, adoptions can be facilitated by an agency or by an attorney working with an independent a home study provider. h •The Internet has become an important conduit in connecting birth i families and adoptive parents directly f or through agencies and attorneys. As o

If you know people in your family and community who have adopted, talk to them to learn about their experiences and to get referrals for adoption professionals who they trust and respect. Attend information sessions, open houses or webinars designed to orient families to the process. Explore adoption literature to hear stories of families who have experienced infertility or other journeys similar to yours and who have been successful in building their families through adoption. Spe nce-Chapin, a not-for-profit, non-sectarian adoption agency w o r k i n g i n t h e Ne w Yo r k m e t r o politan area, has been helping form families through adoption for more than 100 years. It is located at 410 East 92nd St ree t. For more information, visit spencechapin.org. www.newyorkfamily.com

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BY LISA ROGAL

New York Family | November 2010

Tracey Stewart, founder of Moomah.

Magical

Moomah

With Creative Children’s Classes, Original ‘Do-It-Together’ Crafts, And A Scrumptious Seasonal Menu, Tracey Stewart Has Created A Family Cafe Like No Other “We set the kids up for success,” Stewart says. “If we’re going to have them glue down images, we give them beautiful images, so that when they bring it home to Grandma and Grandpa, Grandma and Grandpa don’t have to pretend—it really is fabulous.” Before starting her family cafe, Stewart had a varied career, first as a graphic designer and later as a vet tech. In addition to the originality of the crafts, her design background also comes through in Moomah’s décor: egg-shell blue color scheme, whimsical artwork, cozy booths tastefully decorated with images from nature, maple wood floors. The pristine space is soothing and sophisticated. Comfy

seating compliments a small library housing everything from Michael Pollan to “The Bugliest Bug.” In back are kid-height crafting tables and a large wood door that leads to the classroom and Funky Forest space. The Funky Forest—perhaps Moomah’s most unique feature—is a product of Stewart’s unique and inventive creative approach. A high-tech, interactive art installation, the Forest lets kids influence a living ecosystem through light and movement. Children stand with arms overhead to grow a tree, sweep pillows across the floor to water plants, see creatures come and go depending on the health of the forest, and watch the seasons change. In www.newyorkfamily.com

Photo by Daniel S. Burnstein

magine your favorite Manhattan cafe: the smell of freshly roasted beans, tiny tables wobbling under clicking laptops, sticky pastries beckoning from behind glass counters. Now imagine what happens when you bring your kids there. Most cafes don’t scream “children’s play space,” and many kid-friendly spots don’t have much to offer adults. But Tracey Stewart is changing all that with Moomah, the family-focused cafe and art oasis she opened a year and a half ago. Located on a quiet block in Tribeca, Moomah welcomes parents (and everyone else) with a vibe that could be described as pleasantly and unpretentiously hip, and a delicious cafe menu that features local seasonal fare, Counter Culture Coffee, beer and wine selections, and of course lots of great kids’ staples. But the offerings that set it apart from other cafes—and also from other play spaces—are its original and varied menu of “do-ittogether” art projects; creative classes for kids in music, writing and cooking; and a wondrous multi-media interactive children’s experience she aptly calls the Funky Forest. “I started to get frustrated with what was being offered to my kids,” says Stewart, who has two children with her husband, The Daily Show host Jon Stewart. “I would send my kids out to an art class and they would come home with a piece of construction paper with some glitter on it. I would [think], ‘This is what you did with my kids’ time?’” Collaborative craft projects at Moomah avoid the clichés of bad children’s artwork. From nature-inspired shadow boxes to embroidery and jewelry making, each is designed to inspire in age-appropriate ways—there are challenges aplenty for tots as well as tweens.

A young patron completes a craft project at Moomah.

Photo courtesy of Moomah

the Funky Forest, kids learn how their actions affect the environment. While children play in the Forest— or take classes like Secret Agent Spy Training, Imaginative Toy Creation, and Gloga (glow-in-the-dark yoga)— parents can watch on the flat screen television in the dining area while sipping a cappuccino or glass of Pinot. “Parents give so much to their kids and there’s not a lot for them,” says Stewart. “If the kids are doing something creative, we’re feeding them, but we need to feed the adults, too.” Part of the inspiration behind Moomah was to give parents a way to connect, both with fellow parents and with their kids. “I was never one to join mom’s groups,” says Stewart. “To me, a cafe environment was more natural. In that moment, where there’s another mom sitting next to you, struggling or enjoying herself, you might reach out— you might start to understand that you’re not alone.” In fact, Stewart makes sure her staff www.newyorkfamily.com

is particularly attuned to the needs of parents—when a mom at a nearby booth is attempting to corral her young child while her baby is having a meltdown, staff members will take notice and lend a hand. In order to foster quality time between parents and children, every art project integrates cues for conversation. “When their mind is focused on a project, [kids] tend to talk more,” Stewart says. “Their real lives bleed into those things.” And if they won’t talk to you, they might talk to Moomah’s puppet, Supertryer, who visits kids and encourages them to try new things. Supertryer baskets—Moomah’s healthy version of the Happy Meal—offer samples of fruit, vegetables and hummus along with a little prize. “Kids love to be praised for trying new things,” says Stewart. “Supertryer is a way to give them a little taste of

something without too much effort.” Moomah itself is a lesson in the benefit of trying new things. “We think of [Moomah] as our think tank,” says Stewart. “We become close with people here. Customers and staff like to sit around and say ‘What else could we do?’” When they have trouble making decisions, they half-jokingly play the question-and-answer game What Would Jon Stewart Do? “If we’re on the fence about something, we call him and we’re like, ‘Alright, we have a What Would Jon Stewart Do?,’” says Tracey, who has been married to Jon for ten years. “He has an incredible internal barometer, so he’s become a kind of coach for us.” Currently Moomah is in the midst of plenty of decision-making as it begins to expand its offerings. Specifically, Stewart plans to open the space on certain days for families with children with special needs. Stewart also hopes to reach more and more families outside of Tribeca, particularly those with “kids that don’t have access to creative things,” she says. “Tribeca is a high-income neighborhood; I would love to bring [Moomah] to other populations.” Wherever Stewart takes Moomah, she remains committed to preserving the cozy, creative spirit that permeates

“I was never one to join mom’s groups—to me, a cafe environment was more natural.” the space—as well as the thoughtful, personal touches that keep families coming back. “My daughter, who’s four, said the other day, ‘Mommy, you have the best restaurant because you have crafts and classes and no one else has that,’” Stewart says. “There’s such an emotional thing happening here— we just thought of everything and people appreciate that.” G Moomah Cafe is located at 161 Hu d s o n S t r e e t . F o r m o r e i n f o r mation, visit moomah.com. November 1010 | New York Family

A young patron completes a craft project at Moomah.

Photo courtesy of Moomah

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Activity of

Month BY SHAINA GOPEN

Whether Shaking Maracas Or Practicing Scales, Kids Reap Innumerable Beneﬁts From Exploring Music Hands On!

Musicians In The

New York Family | November 2010

MAKING open up their minds to an amazing creative process,” says Kelly Sawatsky of Manhattan School of Music. “Music also allows students to become more independent through solo playing and practice, and builds teamwork skills through playing in orchestras, chamber music and choirs.” At Diller-Quaile School of Music, infants start training their inner musician between the ages of 4 and 8 months old by being rocked and bounced by their caregiver in classes where participants sing along with live improvised piano. “By having experiences with an adult, children’s ears

become even more in tune to concepts such as high and low, fast and slow, and changes in tone,” says Erin Langston, the head of the Early Childhood Program at Diller-Quaile. “Infants are sponges, and the way they relate to the world, the way they develop all of their skills, they are relating mostly to sound.” At 6 months, a child’s hand-eye coordination develops, and they can begin to grasp and manipulate objects, like shaking instruments. They also begin to understand cause and effect. “They can appreciate that this makes a sound, and around this age they can begin clapping www.newyorkfamily.com

ANDREW SCHWARTZ

here’s nothing quite like seeing that smile spread across your little one’s face when they realize they’re making music with the maracas in their hand, or when they’re dancing to their favorite song. It’s magic when you bring music and kids together, but surprisingly it is also science. Research has shown that participating in music stimulates multiple portions of the brain even during infancy, helping babies recognize patterns, boosting language, memory and concentration skills, and aiding in developing fine motor skills. At any age, playing or listening to music introduces kids to instruments and sounds from around the world and gives children a way to express themselves. For older kids, commanding an instrument builds a sense of self and accomplishment. All this, and it’s fun! Through music study, “students

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in response to music,” explains Marni Konner of the Little Maestros, a music program for infants and toddlers that features a full band, puppet shows and story time. Kathy Yiannoudes, the head of the Instrumental and Vocal department at Diller-Quaile, suggests keeping a basket of tiny instruments at home, like drums with mallets and easy-to-grip shakers for spontaneous play. Parents can also use the instrument we all have, our voice, to make music a part of a child’s daily routine—making up songs for difficult transitions like clean-up time, getting out the door, or winding down for bedtime. In Diller-Quaile’s toddler classes children learn measures with their own feet. “They can walk to the music,” Langston explains. “And then they can run, they can feel that quarter note, and then they can run twice as fast which is a 4/16th note. Once you provide that physically, that sets children up for reading music, for learning music, for playing music.” When children begin vocalizing, all of the singing they’ve heard and the dancing they’ve done starts gelling in their brains, and they start singing and improvising songs to express themselves. As Deanna deCampos, director of Eastside Westside Music Together, explains, “First we hear single notes, then we hear pairs of notes, then we hear little bits at the ends of songs. You know how at a birthday party, you hear the very young kids singing ‘tooo youu’? They take in the ends of the phrases and just like language they build on that over time.” For parents who are wondering when might be the right time to introduce their child to playing an instrument, the rule of thumb is generally 5 or 6 at the earliest—though sometimes children as young as 3 and 4 might begin instrument lessons. Smaller versions can be made of string instruments like violins and cellos for 5-year-old hands, and by 6, many kids can handle the keys on a piano. In terms of committing to an instrument each child is different, but age 8 or 9 is generally a good age to do so. At 8 or 9, a child can start reading music as part of their study. Yiannoudes advises parents to look for a program that involves individual, group and performance opportunities. “Playing with other people is a social experience. You learn about yourself, and it’s inspiring to have peers,” she notes. You should also make sure a program is responsive to a child’s development, so they can have an age-appropriate experience. Parents should feel comfortable communicating with their child’s instructor to help guide their children through their practice routines. Helping your child designate a specific practice place and time at home helps. But don’t worry if things don’t always go smoothly. Sometimes “I want to quit” simply means “I’m frustrated.” Talk to your child and find out what their motivations are behind wanting to walk away from an instrument. In the end, whether music becomes a formal or informal part of your child’s life, it will no doubt have a lasting impact. “Who we are is so much about our own creativity, and music is indeed the universal language,” sums up Langston. “Everybody enjoys music; it’s really so much of what makes us human.” G

New York Family | November 2010

LEARNING TO PLAY Our guide to where to find the best music classes and lessons

MUSIC CLASSES FOR THE VERY YOUNG 92ND STREET Y. 1395 Lexington Avenue, 212-415-5500, 92Y.org. (Ages newborn to 18 years)

apple seeds. 10 West 25th Street, 212-792-7590, appleseedsnyc. com. (Ages newborn to 5)

EASTSIDE WESTSIDE MUSIC TOGETHER. 102 West 75th Street (Garden Level), 212-496-1242, eswsmusictogether.com. (Ages newborn to 6 years)

GYMBOREE PLAY & MUSIC. Various locations in Manhattan, 877-4496932, gymboreeclasses.com. (Ages newborn to 5 years) GYMTIME RHYTHM & GLUES. 1520 York Avenue, 212-861-7732, gymtime.net. (Ages 18 months to 3 years)

HANDS ON! Multiple locations, 212-339-9915, handson4music.com. (Ages 4 months to 4 years)

LITTLE MAESTROS. Various locations, 212-772-8435, littlemaestros. com. (Ages 3 months to 5 years) MOEY’S MUSIC PARTY. The New York Junior League, 130 East 80th Street, 917- 680- 6739, moeysmusicparty.com. (Infants to 5 years) MUSIC FOR AARDVARKS. Various Locations, 718-858-1741, musicforaardvarks.com. (Ages 6 months to 5 years)

MUSIC TOGETHER IN THE CITY. Various locations, 212-358-3801 or 800728-2692, MusicTogetherNYC.com. (Ages newborn to 4 years)

MUSICAL KIDS INTERNATIONAL. 1296 Lexington Avenue (at 88th Street), 212-996-5898, musicalkids.net. (Ages newborn to 4 years)

SCHOOL FOR STRINGS. 419 West 54th Street, 212-315-0915, schoolforstrings.org. (Ages 16 months to adult)

THE EARLY EAR. 48 West 68th Street, 110 West 96th Street, 353 East 78th Street, 212-877-7125, theearlyear.com. (Ages 4 months to 5 years)

THREE LITTLE BIRDS MUSIC. 266 East 78th Street, 212-744-0404, tlbmusic.com. (Ages 4 months to 5 years) WEBOP AT JAZZ AT LINCOLN CENTER. 33 West 60th Street, Floor, 212258-9800, jalc.org. (Ages 8 months to 5 years)

WHEN THEY’RE READY FOR MUSIC LESSONS 92Y SCHOOL OF MUSIC. 1395 Lexington Avenue, 212-415-5500, 92y.org. (All ages)

CHURCH STREET SCHOOL FOR MUSIC AND ART. 74 Warren Street, 212-5717290, churchstreetschool.org. (Ages 6 and up)

THE DILLER-QUAILE SCHOOL OF MUSIC. 24 East 95th Street, 212-3691484, diller-quaile.org. (All ages) GREENWICH HOUSE MUSIC SCHOOL. 46 Barrow Street, 212-242-4770, greenwichhouse.org. (All ages)

LUCY MOSES SCHOOL OF MUSIC. 129 West 67th Street, 212-501-3308, kaufman-center.org/lucy-moses-school. (All ages) MANHATTAN SCHOOL OF MUSIC. 601 West 122nd Street, 212-749-2802, msmnyc.edu. (Ages 5 and up)

MUSIC HOUSE. 504 East 88th Street, 212-744-8840, nycmusichouse. org. (Ages 5 and up)

NEW YORK JAZZ ACADEMY. Various locations, 718-246-0633, nyjazzacademy.com. (Infants and up)

THE PIANO SCHOOL OF NYC. Various locations, 212-386-2274, pianoschoolofnyc.com. (Ages 3 and up) PIANO TEACHER USA. In your home, 888-222-3098, pianoteacherusa. com. (All ages)

TURTLE BAY MUSIC SCHOOL. 244 East 52nd Street, 212-753-8811, tbms.org. (Ages 18 months and up)

www.newyorkfamily.com

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By DARCY NEWELL

Long Before She Became One Of The Most Acclaimed Actresses Of Her Generation, Julianne Moore Was A Self-Conscious, FreckleCovered Kid Who Dreamed Of Being Like Everyone Else. Now, In A Magical Year That Includes Starring Roles In ‘A Single Man’ And ‘The Kids Are All Right,’ Her Autobiographical Children’s Book ‘Freckleface Strawberry’ Could Be The Hit Kids’ Musical Of The Year hen the paparazzi snap photos of Julianne Moore and her family, she’s often pictured escorting her kids—Caleb, 12, and Liv, 8—around the city, looking cheerful, casual, relaxed. Often in a uniform of sneakers and lived-in jeans, the luminous, 50-year-old actress, who is married to director Bart Freundlich, is the picture of an everyday—albeit gorgeous—city mom. But of course, she’s also Julianne Moore, the prolific actress who this year alone portrayed a ‘60s British housewife living in L.A. in “A Single Man,” Alec Baldwin’s Boston-bred love interest on “30 Rock,” and Jules, half of the lesbian couple that garnered critics’ praise in “The Kids Are All Right”—a role that just might earn the actress her fifth Oscar nomination. In recent years, Moore has also written two popular autobiographical children’s books, “Freckleface Strawberry” and “Freckleface Strawberry and the Dodgeball Bully,” the original being the inspiration for the hit Off-Broadway musical of the same name that debuted last month at the New World Stages. Meeting her in person, it’s hard not to be a little in awe of Moore, who juggles a demanding Hollywood career and rich family life with what seems to be an inexhaustible supply of poise, humility and humor. A long-term ambassador for “Save The Children,” Moore is especially passionate about kids, and truly gets them—whether it’s her own two children, the kids all over the country who have bonded with her books, or of course, her seven-yearold self, who served as the prototype for Freckleface Strawberry, the spunky protagonist who, in her own way, is as inspiring as her creator.

New York Family | November 2010

www.newyorkfamily.com

Photo by Andrew Schwartz

What was your inspiration in writing the book? Did you approach the material as a former kid or as a mother or as both? As a kid! At the time that I wrote the book my son was 7 and my daughter was 3, and I had been reading a lot of picture books to my kids. The books that I enjoyed were the ones that had a sense of humor and were written from a child’s perspective, and those were the ones that the kids liked too. I think those sort of, “once upon a time…” stories, where it’s very much about a story being kind of told to a kid, can be less engaging than something that is kid-driven. So that’s what I was going for, something kiddriven, something active and something funny. What age ranges have you found respond most passionately to the book? It’s interesting because the children who really understand the story are 6 or 7 years old. It’s a book that can be read to littler kids, and I think they enjoy it—they like the freckles and the disappearing and all the other funny things. But at around age 7, children suddenly become acutely self-aware. That’s when they get their big teeth; that’s when they become aware of how they’re differwww.newyorkfamily.com

ent from who’s next to them. And they become self-conscious for the first time. So when I read the book to kids, we talk about that stuff. Did you have any creative input with the musical adaptation? Rose Caiola, who is the producer and co-writer of the musical’s book, optioned the production a couple of years ago as something to do with her dance school [see sidebar on page 44] for the kids to perform. And as it came together, it was clear that the songs were very strong, and they had something bigger on their hands. Rose has been great all along—inviting me to rehearsals and listening to my notes. They’ve been very careful about trying to preserve the message and the tone of the book. It’s been great; they’ve been very inclusive. When you share the book with your daughter, Liv, does she have a special relationship with the title character? She likes it, because she knows that it was a childhood nickname of mine that I didn’t like. Actually, the character, as drawn, really reminds me of my daughter. She looks November 2010 | New York Family

much more like my daughter— and more my daughter when she was younger, she’s 8 now—than me, in a sense. And [the illustrator, LeUyen Pham] had never met my daughter, but she somehow managed to draw her!

At left: Moore with her family at the musical’s premiere on October 1st. Below: Moore and Hayley Podschun, who plays Freckleface Strawberry. Photos by Bruce Glikas

in the world I was really excited by New York, and felt like it had an awful lot to offer. And then I met my husband, who was born and raised here, so for him there was literally no question of being anywhere else. But when we first met, we were living in California, and our son was born in California, so we had to make the decision when he was very young to move back here. So at that point it was weird because all of my friends had moved to L.A. and I was like, “all right, I’m going to go back to New York!” But it was just about being in a place that we thought was going to be a good place for our kids.

Tell me about your children. What do you love about them at the age they are now? I love everything about them at every age, and I think the great thing about parenthood is that there’s no downside, there’s no stage that you’re not going to enjoy. You know, just when you think, “this is the best ever,” they move into something else that is equally wonderful. My son Caleb is 12 and a half, and he’s getting to the point where we can travel together alone. Last weekend we went out to dinner together and went to the theater, and talked about the show and about the book he was reading. We also have TV shows he likes to watch with me, and we have a different relationship based on him being older and more interested in the adult world. And my daughter is really right in the middle of being a kid. She’s 8 years old. She’s moved out of the little kid stage entirely and is moving into the big kid stage. Just watching her interest in school and in books and in becoming who she is has been very, very exciting.

How have your experiences been thus far raising your children here? They’ve been really great. The city demands a lot—I mean sometimes you feel kind of overwhelmed by its vastness, you can get sucked in; there is chaos here. But there are also ways to carve out quiet. There are great parks, there are great facilities for kids, there’s a way to have the quiet life, and I’ve really enjoyed it so far.

In your experience, is there anything about being an actress that has made you a better parent? Well it’s interesting; somebody recently asked me what have I learned through acting and what I have learned in films, and I said, it’s really what you learn in your life that adds to what you do in your work. You know, I think everything you do, including being a parent, all the life experiences you accumulate, all the relationships you have—that makes you a better and deeper actor.

Tell me about Barilla’s new “Celebrity Pasta Lovers’ Cookbook” and the “Share The Table” initiative. What motivated you to get involved in this project? Simply that every time you download that cookbook online they give a dollar to Meals On Wheels, which is a tremendous way to donate money to a charity. It was very nice to be a part of it; it was all about celebrating the family dinner hour and how people can spend more time together, and then raising money for a charity as well.

You’re often cited as being a normal city celebrity mom, and often photographed in jeans and sneakers walking your children to school. Is that sense of normalcy something that you actively cultivate or does it just come naturally? I think it’s just who we are. I mean we’re a pretty regular New York City family, lucky enough to live in a great neighborhood. We spend a lot of time together doing usual stuff around school, stuff around our life, and it just happens to be somewhat in the public eye. But we are really just a pretty pedestrian, regular New York family.

I read that there is a no-phone, no-television, a general no-technology rule in your household at dinner time. Why is dinner time such a sacred time in your home? That’s the way I grew up. You’re not allowed to answer the phone. And now you can’t text or watch television, because people are distracted and they don’t focus on each other. At dinnertime, you talk about your day, your highs and your lows, you tell stories. It’s a time when your kids can really feel part of the family and connect with you.

With your own upbringing all over the country and the world, how did you pick NYC as the place to raise your children? I moved here right after college to start my career and really loved it. Having lived kind of everywhere

New York Family | November 2010

What is one of your favorite meals to cook for or with your family? To be honest with you, I really love to cook when we’re at the beach! We have a little house at the beach, and that’s when I probably do the most cooking because we grill and we have a lot of fresh vegetables. There’s always www.newyorkfamily.com

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From

Page Stage To

ose Caiola (pictured at right with Julianne Moore), the producer and co-writer of “Freckleface Stawberry: The Musical” was instrumental in bringing Julianne’s book to the stage. The executive artistic director and founder of the Manhattan Movement & Arts Center (MMAC) and Manhattan Youth Ballet and a mom to two young boys, Rose chatted with us about bringing the colorful character to life. What drew you to the book “Freckleface Strawberry”? I’m a mother myself, and I’m always looking for good books to read to my kids. “Freckleface Strawberry” is so much fun, but the message is wonderful, too—it’s about celebrating being different, as well as friendship and growing up. And because most of the MMAC’s outreach projects have a literary component, I thought the book would be a great opportunity to create a live music theater piece that kids of different ethnicities, colors, shapes and sizes could relate to. When I produced it the ﬁrst time, I did it as a kids’ workshop at MMAC—we had 24 children and we basically built the show around them, and it was a great, enriching experience for the kids. When we performed the workshop, we had different industry people in the audience who really loved the show, which inspired me to take it to the next level. Do your own children relate to the story of Freckleface Strawberry? Absolutely. They love the book. They love “Freckleface Strawberry,” they love “Freckleface Strawberry and the Dodgeball Bully”—especially that one. I have two boys! And [in adapting the book for the stage] they were very

corn and tomatoes and it’s a very easy and fast way to cook. I love it so much so that I’m thinking, “How can I get a grill in New York City?” With Thanksgiving just around the corner, can you share one holiday or Thanksgiving tradition that’s important to your family? There’s a cornbread that I make, it’s from the Martha Stewart cookbook, and I’ve made it every single holiday for the last 15 years. I make it at Thanksgiving and I usually make it a few times between then and Christmas time, and then I make it at Christmas, and we have a cornbread stuffing, too. And then at that point everybody’s saturated with the cornbread and it’s over! What do you consider to be some of your biggest challenges as a parent? I think it’s a challenge every day to try to figure out if you’re doing the right things for your kids, if they feel secure. It’s interesting with my daughter— I’ve noticed with her that if she’s not fed every couple of hours she falls apart. And we talked about that, I said, “You have to eat lunch at school, you have to concentrate on that.” And so you realize, she’s only 8, she doesn’t have it all

New York Family | November 2010

Photo by Bruce Glikas

helpful too because my older son just turned 7, and Strawberry is 7 as well. So I had him as a guide, and could ask him, “Would your friends say something like this? Is this something you think a 7-year-old would do?” So it was helpful just having him in my life. Is the production geared towards children of all ages? Absolutely! The message is universal, and the production value of this show is something that will appeal to all ages— adults included—because we have Class A live music, we have Broadway actors, we have award winning set and lighting designers. It’s an hour and 15 minutes chock full of music, dancing and singing, so it’s an enjoyable experience for all. What do you want parents to take away from the production? I hope they take away that this type of cultural experience is still important for families to enjoy together. What’s better than having live entertainment that allows you to open up a dialogue with your children about an important message? Maybe you have a child that has red hair and freckles, or a child that’s a little bit shorter than the other kids in the class or he’s going through some kind of struggle, and you see how the kids in the play cope with that and celebrate [their differences] in the end. —DN

together. It’s about how do you make sure they’re well cared for in every aspect of their life. Who are your favorite children’s authors? I love Mo Willems, and Kevin Henkes is also someone that I really admire—those are two great picture book authors. In terms of older children, my son has really loved Rick Riordan’s “Percy Jackson and the Olympians” books. He’s reading “The Hunger Games” [by Suzanne Collins] now, he really loves it. My daughter is reading “Ramona” right now. I of course, like all the moms my age, love the “Little House on the Prairie” books and “Little Women.” But I’m finding that a lot of girls think they’re too slow. I’m still dying for my daughter to get into those. Are your kids showing any early passions for acting, or anything else for that matter? My son really loves basketball and he plays the guitar, too. And my daughter, she’ll say she wants to be an actress now, and I think it’s a real possibility. I’m curious what she’ll do, but she’s really interested in singing and performing. She loves it and she loves stories. I think that’s really where I come from as an actress too—I like stories. G www.newyorkfamily.com

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IN THE

W WATERSIDE LIVING IS FOR

Families are flocking to Waterside Plaza as much for its upscale, healthy quality of life and neighborly global community as its iconic architecture and legendary views. Having An Internationally-Acclaimed School Doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Hurt Either!

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November 2010 | New York Family SPECIAL PROMOTIONAL SECTION

IN THE

Why Waterside Living? Well, can you think of another upscale waterfront development near midtown that has a luxury health club and swimming pool, a shopping strip, a sprawling open air plaza (with playgrounds), an outstanding independent school, famous architecture, and a friendly community as diverse as the world itself? Waterside Plaza has all of this—and the rest of Manhattan only a footbridge away.

Community Set on an expansive swath of Manhattan overlooking the East River, Waterside Plaza is a residential development that feels like a neighborhood unto itself—one that’s infused with diversity and a palpable sense of community. This is not accidental. Since its opening in 1974, Waterside has been known as a welcoming and convenient home for U.N. employees. For the same reason, it’s also popular among medical students and other hospital professionals working in the area, many of whom have global backgrounds as well. But whether they are from another part of the world or a different section of the city, Waterside parents value how the complex actively cultivates community through big events like music festivals, movie nights, and Halloween parties. Indeed, what other residential community in the city has its own blog, keeping residents informed not only of Waterside activities but of other fun stuff going on around the city?

Wellness Even in the city, waterfront living can inspire healthy and active habits, and many Waterside families use its fully-equipped health club and jewel of a swimming pool. Likewise, its fitness classes for adults, including the famous BODY PUMP from Les Mills, are very

New York Family | November 2010

popular. Kids can avail themselves of yoga and soccer classes and an ambitious after-school swimming program. (Go Sharks!) Given how important convenience is to city living, Waterside families also appreciate its central strip of shops and services, which include everything from a Gristedes to a festive birthday space (Creative Dream Parties). And then there’s Waterside’s ultimate convenience: the short footbridge at 25th Street connecting the community to Kips Bay and Murray Hill, neighborhoods full of parks, restaurants, movie theaters, pediatricians, and everything else city families want and need, including local landmarks like Solar One, an environmental education center; the famous Water Club restaurant; and the Borders bookstore and the AMC Loews Kips Bay 15 movie theater.

Education Waterside Plaza houses one of the city’s most popular and prestigious private schools, the British International School of New York (aka BIS-NY), which runs from nursery through eighth grade. For city parents, the comfort and convenience of having such a great school—with its outstanding academics, first-class facilities, and strong placement record—literally in your community, cannot be overstated. BIS-NY offers the best of a British and international education in a setting

that is safe, nurturing, and stimulating. Relying upon inquiry-based methods, the school seeks to develop lifelong learners. International-mindedness is not only encouraged by the curriculum, but is also manifested by the diverse student body, currently representing over 30 countries. For children ages 3 through 11, BIS-NY integrates the highly regarded International Baccalaureate Primary Years Programme (IBPYP) with the academic content of the English National Curriculum (ENC). For older students, the school follows the Key Stage 3 Programme (of the ENC), offering inter-disciplinary instruction from subject specialists. Whether it’s academic instruction or training in music, fine arts, sports and drama, BIS-NY’s high standards are nurtured by well-qualified teachers operating in state-of-the-art classrooms with small teacher-student ratios. BIS-NY’s leadership prides itself on understanding the needs of city families, including ones who have recently relocated. One way the school addresses these needs is by accepting applications and allowing the placement of children throughout the school year. In addition to BIS-NY, Waterside is home to Bellevue South Nursery School and is just one block away from the United Nations International School (UNIS) —another top school with a commitment to global learning.

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MAP BY MARC ANDERSON/MARCANDERSONILLUSTRATION.BLOGSPOT.COM

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November 2010 | New York Family

WATERSIDE PLAZA

AN OASIS IN THE CITY Four Dream Buildings Anchor A Unique Family-Friendly Enclave

ike the Yellow Brick Road, the discreet 25th Street footbridge leading from the East Side of Kips Bay over the FDR doesn’t quite give away the full sweep and wonder of what’s ahead. But once you’re standing in the middle of Waterside Plaza’s expansive central concourse, with the complex’s four cubist-style towers shooting up around you and a big burst of open sky and passing river to the east, you know you’ve arrived! Waterside offers a magical paradox of urban family-friendly living: it’s grand in stature and scale—two acres worth of 1470 apartments spread among four 37-story towers and an adjoining strip of 20 duplex-style townhouses—but it is also spacious, safe, beautiful, and neighborly, and the living is easy, convenient, and upscale. “It’s a secure, beautiful environment for residents to experience New York living,” says Peter Davis, the managing director of Waterside Management Company. “We are separated from the world by the FDR, so we like to provide for our residents every single thing they need right in one place.” The towers are full-service doorman buildings which con-

New York Family | November 2010

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tain studios, one-, two- and three-bedroom rental apartments, configured into 50 different floor plans. The 20 separate townhouses offer a little more privacy with their own entrances and balconies. “At any given time, there are a number of different floor plans available,” explains Gordon Eriksen, director of marketing with Waterside Management Company. The two to three-bedroom apartments range in size from 1,013- to 1,200-square-feet, featuring hardwood floors, ample closet space, and kitchens with granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. Not surprisingly, the views of the East River and the city at large are postcard amazing. “We have four great exposures available,” says Angelo Torres, Waterside’s leasing director. “So people can pick the view that’s most special to them.” Waterside’s most remarkable “floor plan,” however, is its outdoor plaza and walkways, a mix of delightfully varied greenery, terraces, benches, playgrounds, and open riverfront space. Invariably, the plaza promotes a pleasant social atmosphere whether parents and children are enjoying the outdoors together, or just passing through en route perhaps to Waterside’s three-level Swim & Health Club, or the local supermarket, bank, or any other of the stores along the plaza’s convenient commercial strip.

Waterside offers many other appealing services and amenities, like 24-hour security on the premises, an attended parking garage, a well-stocked children’s playroom, and an impressive menu of events and classes ranging from swim instruction to Movie Nights. But the biggest benefit for many families is that Waterside is also home to a wonderful school. The British International School of New York (aka BIS-NY) spans nursery to eighth grade and is known for cultivating independent thinkers with a broad and deep knowledge of the world. With

BIS-NY on campus, and the United Nations School (UNIS), right down the block, Waterside attracts many foreign families, especially employees from the U.N. and the area’s large hospitals. “Living here, kids learn that there is no color or language barrier to friendship. They all get along,” says Josephine Joyce, a grandparent who lives in one of the towers. “And it’s so safe for them. Around here, everybody knows everybody.” But for all Waterside’s intrinsic appeal, parents also appreciate that it’s more enclave than island. The 25th Street walkway runs in both directions, of course. As Torres, the leasing director, puts it: “We’re this wonderful unique neighborhood. Yet we’re still in the city.” —Celene McDermott

Address: 25 Waterside Plaza | Prices: 2BRs start at $3400 and 3BRs start at $4500 | Developer: Waterside Management Company, LLC Architect: Davis, Brody and Associates | Rental Office: 212-340-4201 | Website: watersideplaza.com

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November 2010 | New York Family special promotional section

Special Needs

20 Things To Know If Your Child Has Special Needs

ew York City is an exhilarating place to raise a family, but I think most parents would agree that the city landscape can be stressful, too. What’s more, if your child has special needs, navigating the city can seem daunting and difficult. To help, here are 20 tips I’ve gleaned from my experience. I hope these bits of philosophical and practical advice will help as you embark on this journey with your family.

The Big Picture

First things first: if you suspect that your infant or child may have developmental delays, don’t be shy about broaching the subject with your pediatrician. Another great resource is YAI Network (yai.org), which can help you schedule an evaluation or find referrals for services your child may need.

Take a deep breath. If your child does have delays and requires services such as speech, physical or occupational therapy, repeat to yourself, “It will be okay”—even if you don’t believe it. New York City has some of the best programs to help children with developmental delays, so don’t start fearing the worst.

Joanna Dreifus with her children, Samuel, 4, and Rachel, 7.

From Where To Go To What To Read To Giving Yourself A Much-Deserved Break, A Mom Of Two Shares Her Wisdom About Raising Children With Developmental Challenges

Remember that your child is more than a diagnosis, and don’t obsess over labels. You may hear an alphabet of terms, from ADHD to PDDNOS to SPD. Your child is still the same person he or she was the day before; nothing has changed the essence of who your child is.

You are more than your child’s diagnosis, too. If your child’s delays or special needs require many therapies, it’s easy to let these take over your own life. Carve out time for yourself—even if it’s only 10 minutes a day. And of course, remember to make time for the rest of your family.

Accept help. It takes a village to raise any child, and it may take a large and experienced village to raise yours. Accept offers of help from grandparents, friends and neighbors. Some moms of special needs children panic about leaving their child with anyone else and their lives become restricted. Try not to let this happen to you.

BY JOANNA DREIFUS

New York Family | November 2010

www.newyorkfamily.com

ANDREW SCHWARTZ

Details, Details... Get organized. You’ll have a lot of information to keep track of, including your child’s evaluations, reports and insurance claims. Start with a big loose-leaf binder and jot down everything, even records and details of phone calls.

Minimize the “schlep factor.” You can log many miles taking your kid to and from therapies. Try to schedule appointments at convenient times and locations, taking your child’s nap times and other routines into consideration. Write out a weekly schedule, and keep therapists’ phone numbers and addresses handy.

Respect your child’s therapists. As busy as you are, they are even busier, so respect their time and give ample notice if you need to cancel. Remember to show appreciation for how much these professionals are helping your child. Year after year, therapists tell me how much they appreciate parents who appreciate their work.

Do your online research, but be careful. There is a lot of misinformation online, particularly about more serious conditions such as autism. Tempers flare and discussions get heated. Watch what you say, and respect others’ opinions.

Read a book or two. One guide I highly recommend for new special needs parents is “The Elephant in the Playroom: Ordinary Parents Write Intimately and Honestly About the Extraordinary Highs and Heartbreaking Lows of Raising Kids with Special Needs.” And for a good laugh on even the toughest days, read “Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid: A Survival Guide for Ordinary Parents of Special Children.”

Hidden Gems & Resources

Find the best resources for your family. Ordinary activities like haircuts can be traumatic for children with sensory issues. Christina at Cozy’s Cuts for Kids is a hero to many families; she’s loving and patient and helps even the most terrified children (mine included) tolerate their haircuts over time.

Another common trouble spot is dentist visits. We’re trying out new dentists ourselves, and have heard wonderful things about Jed Best DDS on the Upper West Side, and Lois Jackson DDS in the Village and Brooklyn Heights.

Know your child’s limits. The city is full of great activities for kids, but sometimes crowded, loud events aren’t the best for children with special needs. The good news is that more special needs-friendly events are cropping up: AMC Theaters holds a monthly Sensory-Friendly Film showing on the Upper West Side (see amctheatres.com/ SFF for more info); Music for Autism (musicforautism.org) hosts free, interactive, special needs-friendly concerts every other month; and the Jewish Museum (jewishmuseun. org) holds frequent art workshops for children with special needs.

Dive in. Many kids with special needs find water very soothing. A few places around town that your child may enjoy: the Hall of Ocean Life at the American Museum www.newyorkfamily.com

of Natural History (amnh.org), City Treehouse in Chelsea for indoor water play (citytreehouse.com) and Greenacre Park, a small urban oasis with a waterfall in East Midtown.

Reach out. Raising a child with special needs can feel isolating, and it helps to meet other parents who are doing the same thing. The Jewish Community Center (jccmanhattan.org) runs wonderful support groups for parents and events for the entire family. Also, check out a new group called SPARK (sparkonline.org) which holds “Moms’ Nights Out” for special needs parents and offers online resources as well. Lastly, UrbanBaby.com and YouBeMom. com both have helpful message boards for the special needs community.

Handling Everyone Else

Decide what you’ll share. Not everyone needs to know every physical, psychological and neurological detail about your child. If you feel like sharing, a simple “my child has some delays” suffices. Keep the specific details to yourself and friends and family, especially as your child gets older, and privacy becomes more important to him or her. On the other hand, if parenting a child with special needs fuels the activist in you, advocacy and awareness-raising is a great avenue into which to channel your energy.

Try to go “zen.” There’s a lot of chatter among NYC parents about everything from infant development to preschool admissions. These comments can be unintentionally hurtful, so try to take them with a grain of salt, and remember that most parents don’t understand what you’re going through and don’t mean to offend you.

Brace yourself for unsolicited advice: “My friend’s cousin’s nephew had a speech delay and drank fish oil all day long—have you tried that?” Simply smile and say, “Thanks, I’ll look into that.”

Give people a break. Let’s say that your child has a temper tantrum on the bus. Of course, all children do this, but a child with special needs may be “triggered” more easily or often. People stare, roll their eyes and make comments. Again, they don’t get it; they haven’t walked in your shoes. Try to be the bigger person and ignore it.

Remember to give yourself a break, too. It’s okay if you forget all of this advice, and it’s okay to have a meltdown. Parenting is the toughest job in the world, and parenting a child with special needs is even tougher. The highs are higher, and the lows are lower. Have faith in your child, and in yourself. You are your child’s best resource! Joanna Dreifus is a Manhattan mother of two children who have gone through New York City’s Early Intervention program. She is on the board of YAI’s New York League for Early Learning (yai.org/agencies/nyl/) and also writes the blog MyMomShops (mymomshops.blogspot.com). November 2010 | New York Family

Special Needs

My Incredibly Ordinary Life

BY SANDY KRULWICH

Sandy Krulwich with her husband, Steve, and daughter, Ellie.

New York Family | November 2010

www.newyorkfamily.com

Daniel S. Burnstein

An NYC Mom Who Has Cerebral Palsy Discusses The Joys And Challenges Of Parenting With A Disability

s a young person growing up with cerebral palsy, my parents taught me never to let disability get in the way of your goals and dreams, and it has given me the confidence to become the person I am today. My husband Steve and I both have cerebral palsy. Steve walks with canes, and uses a motorized scooter outside the house, whereas my speech is most affected by the CP. We joke that I am the “Legs of the House” and he is “Speaker of the House.” When we decided to get married nearly nine years ago, we knew that we would each be fulfilling a dream of having our own family. It seems as if every challenge that I’ve faced has somehow prepared me for the ultimate challenge of being a parent. Ellie Brianna is now six. She is the minority of the household, as she is the only member of our family who does not have a disability. She seems to have been born with extra patience and a good sense of humor. As a baby, she howled at the injustice of the world when it was bedtime, but she was always patient as it took us longer to put on her onesie. She learned to climb into (and when she wanted to, out of) her crib when she was about one year old and became too heavy for either of us to lift. Steve and I watch her in awe as she runs and climbs with the grace of a cat. We are so proud of how loving and lovely she is. We feel lucky to live in New York City, where you can find all types of families. Our daily lives are incredibly ordinary. I’m a full-time mom—my day is filled with laundry, play dates and school functions. Every now and again, though, we do face challenges specific to our disabilities. The first time Ellie went “out on the town” alone with her dad, we all wondered if she could be trusted to stay with him. Whereas most parents can chase down a child who has run off, this is challenging for Steve because he relies on his scooter to get around. Once Ellie became old enough to understand that she had to stay with us, our outings became far more relaxed. And if you ever spot a dark-haired guy with glasses rolling down the street on a scooter with an adorable girl perched in front like a figurehead of a ship, know that that is my family. Today, as a sweet but stubborn first grader, Ellie argues with me incessantly, she rolls her eyes until I swear they’ll fall out of her head, but she has never poked fun at either my poor speech or her dad’s unsteady gait. I never want her to feel like I am a burden, but she seems to instinctively help me with things that she knows are hard for me and easy for her. Ellie seems to accept disability as a difference just like hair color or eye color. I once overheard one of her classmates ask her why her mom talks so funny. “I don’t know, I guess she’s just a funny lady,” Ellie said. I hope she holds on to this sense of acceptance. Parents raising a child with a disability face an enormous challenge. Let your child know that in addition to the challenges that their disability throws at them, they have tremendous strengths. Help them to discover those strengths. Allow them to challenge themselves and participate in activities where they may not excel at first. This will teach them self-confidence. Introduce your child to positive role models who have disabilities. This will show them just how much they can achieve. Teach them to be as independent as possible; give them chores that they can do. This will teach them a sense of responsibility. Help your child find their own empowering experiences. Help them set goals and remind them that anything is possible.

Comfort The Child, Cultivate The Learner Within Its Small Welcoming Oasis, the

WEST END DAY SCHOOL

ocated in the heart of the Upper West Side, West End Day School is not much larger than its surrounding brownstones. Walking through this brightly renovated building, you immediately sense that this is a warm and happy place. The children (like the setting) appear calm and relaxed, and it’s clear that the youngsters are responsive to the attention and skilled instruction they are getting from the grown-ups around them. What you don’t see is what led these youngsters to having school problems to begin with. Everything seems so right that you wonder what those problems could have been. The goal of schooling is to help children build solid academic and social foundations. When children are having issues with one or both of these goals, often their feelings go awry and their confidence fades. When a child cannot work through these difficulties for whatever reason, a rapid intervention is called for as there is a danger of these bad feelings escalating and becoming entrenched into their personality. One of the priorities of West End Day is to help children talk about their feelings (good and bad) and find better solutions to move ahead. How does that happen? It starts with a small and cozy place to come to school. “Quiet” is a big deal to children

who get distracted by or don’t like noise, or who feel that “quiet” helps them feel calm. It’s the smallness of the program that leads to a feeling of safety. There is a high staff-tostudent ratio, including teachers and therapists specially trained in making sense of and settling a child’s worries. Here, children don’t have to worry about not hearing directions or how to handle a jostle from a peer. They can take a break on a gloomy day, or decide they want to be brave and challenged on a really good day. As youngsters are settling into their relaxed new classroom, every child is introduced to a “grown-up friend” (i.e. social work counselor) who is there in the classroom when things go wrong and who can be counted on for regular meetings. All of these features work together to make a child more comfortable in a school setting. Soon enough, they begin talking and sharing and participating more than they ever have before. With this kind of concentrated and sensitive approach, West End Day School can reach all types of learners. The school leaders know that once children feel less vulnerable, they can better tackle difficulties in learning, language and executive function. The program is set up with a multisensory approach, and the curriculum is flexible enough to focus on each

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youngster’s needs. So in reading, for example, children who struggle with decoding are taught using an OrtonGillingham based program, while more fluent readers may receive a more conventional approach focused on comprehension, and varied learners will get a bit of both. But it’s never just an academic focus at West End Day. The teachers are always reinforcing ways that children can hear others around them, and at the same time be heard themselves. This individual approach also serves to change a child’s attitude about school. During a recent snack time, a six-year-old beautifully expressed the underpinnings of the program. The teacher was reading a book entitled, “Today, I Don’t Want To Go To School.” The student began laughing, and when asked why, replied, “That’s a silly title. It should say, ‘Every day I want to go to school.’” West End Day School is located at 255 West 71st Street. For more information, visit westenddayschool.org. November 2010 | New York Family

New York Family Partner Proﬁle

ANDREW SCHWARTZ PHOTOS

Helps Children Whose Feelings Are Often Their Biggest Obstacles To Becoming Passionate Learners. Here’s How The School Does It.

Special Needs

Understanding The Special Needs Landscape In NYC Parents Of Children With Special Needs Face A Maze Of Evaluations, Programs And Services. Here’s Some Expert Advice BY CRISTINA DIMEN

or city parents who suspect their child has a developmental delay, there’s good news—the city offers a wealth of free services for children with special needs, and there are also many experienced professionals in private practice in the city who work with children with special needs. But the bureaucracy around special needs can be confusing and overwhelming, so we asked a few local experts for their guidance.

Trust Your Instincts Many children reach developmental milestones within a typical time frame. For example, experts will tell you most children are sitting up between 4 and 7 months. While it’s important to remember that each child develops differently, parents who suspect their child may have a delay “should trust their instinct—they know their child best,” says Dr. Daniela Montalto, director of the Institute for Learning and Academic Achievement at the NYU Child Study Center (aboutourkids.org). Dr. Montalto advises parents to pay attention to potential delays, such as difficulty saying single words by two years old, which can indicate a speech or language-learning weakness. Other warning signs for infants and toddlers include children who do not smile by 3-4 months, children who are not feeding themselves by 8 months, and those who are not walking by 15 months, says Dana Rosenbloom, a child and family therapist who works with all types of families but focuses on families of children with special needs (danaskids.com). She advises parents to talk to their child’s pediatrician about their concerns. If

New York Family | November 2010

you are still concerned, have your child evaluated. In NYC, a child can be referred for services by doctors, teachers, child care agencies, social worker, and other community-based agencies. Of course, parents can always make their own referral by calling 311 and asking for Early Intervention.

Get Evaluated New York City’s Early Intervention Program is funded and regulated by the NYS Department of Health and the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene. The Early Intervention Program (EIP) evaluates children up to age three for a variety of home-based therapeutic services. From ages three to five years, the Committee for Preschool Special Education (CPSE), also regulated and funded by both NYS and NYC, assesses eligibility for both home and facility-based services. Once the initial evaluations are completed, you will find out if your child is eligible for services. At this point in Early Intervention, an Individual Family Service Plan (IFSP) is created. In CPSE, it is referred to as an Individual Education Plan (IEP). Eligibility criteria are different in EI and CPSE. In both programs, services can include but are not limited to speech, physical, occupational and special education therapy sessions. In EI and CPSE, evaluations and services for eligible children are free. Within the private sector, organizations like the NYU Child Study Center offer comprehensive neuropsychological evaluations of a child’s attention, memory, social and emotional development. (See sidebar for more on where to get evaluated in NYC.)

Consider Your Options Many public and private school options exist for children with special needs. Rosenbloom explains that in Early Intervention, each child is given a Case Coordinator who will work with parents to determine which early childhood programs and services will best meet their child’s needs. In CPSE, the Committee will help a parent evaluate their choices. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) requires that children be educated in the “least restrictive environment.” This means that CPSE will consider providing special education services in an environment with age-appropriate, typically-developing peers. For when a school for special needs is recommended, Rosenbloom cites YAI/Gramercy and Child Development Center, as a popular and wellregarded early childhood program for children with special needs. Once a child has reached age five (and up to 21), the Committee on Special Education (CSE) provides evaluation and services. If your child has been receiving CPSE services, during the year prior to kindergarten, the Committee will decide if your child continues to require special education services and will make the referral to the Committee on Special Education (CSE). The CSE will recommend that either your child receives these services in a public school environment or in another educational setting. In public school, Collaborative Team Teaching (CTT) classes are increasingly common. Within a typical CTT class, there are two teachers, with one trained www.newyorkfamily.com

in special education. Children who are struggling in specific areas, such as math or reading, receive smallgroup instruction, while the rest of the class listens to the general education teacher. Afterwards, all students engage in mainstream learning. “Evaluations indicate if children will benefit from CTT classes, where half the kids have no learning disabilities,” Dr. Montalto says. “Observing general education children who perform in a stronger way enables some kids with special needs to adapt what they see to their own style.” CTT classes can also be beneficial for typically-developing children “whose self esteem is built while they are helping others,” Rosenbloom adds. But she also points out that CTT classes aren’t the best fit for everyone, especially students with more significant developmental needs.

Seek Legal Counsel Parents choose to forego public school options for various reasons, including the absence of programs equipped to meet their child’s specific

learning needs. Upon enrolling their child in a private school, these parents often seek tuition reimbursement by filing a lawsuit against the Department of Education (DOE), stating that “the DOE failed to offer their child the statutory right to a free and appropriate public education,” explains Regina Skyer of the Law Offices of Regina Skyer & Associates (skyerlaw.com), a law firm that specializes in advocating for children with special education needs. While there’s no guarantee that families will win the case and recoup tuition costs, Skyer recommends parents work with an attorney specialized in advocating, mediating and litigating for kids with learning disabilities. She notes that the multi-step process is complex, and it’s best if the child has been privately evaluated. Also, unless parents choose a private program from a list of approved schools, they’ll have to reapply each year. She recommends parents attend workshops on the subject such as those hosted by private schools or at the JCC in Manhattan.

Special Needs Evaluation Centers And Advocacy Groups In addition to contacting the following providers, parents can always call 311 and ask for Early Intervention. Also, parents can view a list of city-approved evaluation providers by borough at nyc.gov/ html/doh/html/earlyint/earlydirectory. shtml#eval. ABC Early Intervention Program, a-b-c.org Advocates For Children, advocatesforchildren.org Bank Street Family Center, bnkst.edu/fc/ Early Childhood Associates, earlychildhoodassociates.org Important Steps, importantsteps.com Los Ninos Services, losninos.com Theracare, theracare.com YAI/NYL, yai.org

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Special Needs

A Special Role The Creator Of NBC’s Hit Show ‘Parenthood’ Used His Family’s Own Experience With Asperger’s Syndrome As Inspiration For One Of The Most Memorable Story Lines Of The Season BY RACHAEL HOROWITZ

New York Family | November 2010

goals,” Katims said. “I was just writing a story that was personal to me and that I hoped would resonate.” Burkholder had similar hopes for his portrayal of Max; he was initially worried that his character might seem forced, and wasn’t sure how audiences would react. “Every person is different, so naturally, every person who has Asperger’s is different,” the he says. “Max is so much more than a kid who has Asperger’s.” To prepare for the role, Burkholder did plenty of research and worked with a behavioral therapist and acting coach. He was particularly inspired by the book by famed autistic doctor Temple Grandin, “Thinking in Pictures.” Max’s story is more than just an individual’s struggle to cope with the disorder, but a family’s struggle to adjust. “The fact that Max has Asperger’s is part of a larger story about this marriage and this family,” Katims says, and this is something he expects other families dealing will relate to. “An Asperger’s diagnosis can make parents feel very alone,” Katims says. “You kind of feel like, ‘Who do I turn do? What does this mean?’” Katims hopes that “Parenthood” has tapped into that feeling and opened up a new discussion about autism. “I think if we can shed some light on [Asperger’s syndrome], it’s great—both for people who don’t know what it’s like to have a child with autism, and for people who are experiencing it themselves, because they can feel represented and heard.” b ‘Parenthood’ airs on Tuesdays at 10 p.m. on NBC; For more information, visit nbc.com/parenthood. For more information about Asperger’s syndrome, visit aspergers.com. www.newyorkfamily.com

Art Streiber/NBC

hen “Parenthood,” the “not because special needs didn’t exist television version of 20 years ago, but because it hasn’t been Ron Howard’s 1989 examined in a way that I thought we film, premiered on NBC could examine it on the show,” he said. last fall, audiences were introduced to Katims bases some of the Braverthe Bravermans, a colorful California mans’ story on his own experiences, family anchored by Camille and Zeek but the show isn’t autobiographical, Braverman (played by industry vet and Katims makes a point of making Craig T. Nelson and actress Bonnie Max unique and distinctly different Bedelia) and their four grown children, from Sawyer. all of whom have families of their own. The show presents numerous plot lines at once, dealing with everything from lost jobs to stay-at-home fatherhood, making it an often touching and realistic portrayal of modern day parenting. One story line in particular that has resonated with audiences is that of Adam and Kristina Braverman (played by Peter Krause and Monica Potter) and their nine-year-old son, Max (played by 13-year-old Max Burkholder) who in the beginning of Burkholder and his on-screen family. the first season is diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, a high-funcThe show has received praise for tioning form of autism. As children the accuracy of Max’s character and with special needs aren’t frequently the unaffected portrayal by Burkportrayed on television, the show has holder. “There aren’t many actors his been lauded not only for portraying age that could be so natural in front of a family dealing with autism, but for the camera,” Katims said. “He’s really doing so accurately. Much of the credit researched and created this character for this feat belongs to Jason Katims, that feels specific and authentic.” Still, the show’s creator and writer, who the overwhelming reaction to the used his own family’s experience as Asperger’s storyline was something inspiration for the story; his 13-yearKatims never anticipated. In the hours old son, Sawyer, was diagnosed with after the episode revealing Max’s Asperger’s syndrome when he was two diagnosis aired, “Asperger’s” (and variyears old. ous misspellings) was the number one Katims says that he set out to searched term on Google. “re-imagine” the 1989 film to reflect Katims hopes the storyline will what people are thinking about today, help reduce the stigma associated with which, for many families, includes special needs, though he didn’t set special needs. out to teach a lesson. “Going into it, He included the character of Max I didn’t have a lot of big, highfalutin

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Experts Share Their Favorite Reads For Every Age While your child may request multiple readings of “Goodnight Moon” every evening, there are so many wonderful children’s books out there just waiting to be discovered. We chatted with experts from Scholastic, Barnes & Noble, The New York Public Library and the musical story hour mavens behind Storytime By Design, Inc. for their of-the-moment favorite books for every age.

For Babies (Board Books) “How Do Dinosaurs Laugh Out Loud,” by Jane Yolen “Dot & Dash Meet Their Friends,” by Emma Dodd —recommended by Scholastic “Guess How Much I Love You,” by Sam McBratney “Little Blue Truck,” by Alice Schertle —recommended by Barnes & Noble “Hello, Animals! And Hello, Bugs!” by Smriti Prasadam “Pecan Pie Baby” by Jacqueline Woodson —recommended by the NY Public Library “Beautiful Oops!” by Barney Saltzberg “Ten Tiny Babies” by Karen Katz —recommended by Storytime By Design

Picture Books (0-4) “Mr. Putnety’s Quacking Dog,” by Jon Agee “And I Love You,” by Ruth Krauss —recommended by Scholastic “We Are in a Book! (Elephant & Piggie Series)” by Mo Willems “How Rocket Learned to Read” by Tad Hills

www.newyorkfamily.com

—recommended by Barnes & Noble “Creak! Said The Bed” by Phyllis Root “Children Make Terrible Pets by Peter Brown —recommended by Storytime By Design “Farm” by Elisha Cooper “Chalk” by Bill Thompson —recommended by the NY Public Library Early Readers (5-8) “From Caterpillar To Butterﬂy” by Deborah Heiligman “Stink: Solar System Superhero (Book #5)” by Megan McDonald —recommended by Barnes & Noble

—recommended by Scholastic “A Really Short History of Nearly Everything” by Bill Bryson “Strange Case of Origami Yoda” by Tom Angleberger —recommended by Barnes & Noble “One Crazy Summer” by Rita Garcia-Williams’s “The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place: Book One: The Mysterious Howling” by Maryrose Wood —recommended by the NY Public Library “The Mysterious Benedict Society Collection” by Trenton Lee Stewart —recommended by Storytime By Design, Inc.

“Ling & Ting: Not Exactly the Same” by Grace Lin “Mirror Mirror: A Book of Reversible Verse” by Marilyn Singer —recommended by the NY Public Library

Young Adults/ Tweens “Plain Kate” by Erin Bow “Half Brother” by Kenneth Oppel —recommended by Scholastic

“Bink & Gollie” by Kate DiCamillo and Alison McGhee “Pierre The Penguin” by Jean Marzollo —recommended by Storytime By Design

“A Young People’s History of the United States” by Howard Zinn “Hunger Games (Hunger Games Series #1)” by Suzanne Collins —recommended by Barnes & Noble

Middle Grade (7-10) “The Clockwork Three” by Matthew Kirby “Bobby The Brave (Sometimes)” by Lisa Yee

“Manifest” by Krystal Bently “For the Win” by Cory Doctorow —recommended by the NY Public Library

November 2010 | New York Family

TOY TOWN

THE

JOY

Spy Net Secret Mission Video Watch by Jakks Paciﬁc

SHOPPING

Ages eight and up $49.99; toysrus.com

Lucky for us, the city boasts toy stores and specialty shops in virtually every neighborhood—a fact we’re sure will come in handy this holiday shopping season! One new shop we’re particularly excited about is the Learning Express store in Gramercy Park (on 2nd Avenue between 26th and 27th Streets), a great destination for toys that foster creative play in kids of all ages. Check out some of our other favorites below. Acorn Toys 323 Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn 718-522-3760 acorntoyshop.com American Girl Place 609 Fifth Avenue 877-247-5223 Americangirl.com

RC Helicopter by y Discovery Ages 10 and up $59.95; discoverystore.com re.com

Boomerang Toys 119 West Broadway 212-226-7650 boomerangtoys.com The Craft Studio 657 3rd Ave 212-831-6626 Craftstudionyc.com Dinosaur Hill 306 East 9th Street 212-473-5850 dinosaurhill.com FAO Schwartz 767 Fifth Avenue 212-308-6094 fao.com Gift Hero at The Citibabes Boutique 52 Mercer Street gifthero.com

Ages 10 and up $27; toysrus.com

Mary Arnold 1010 Lexington Avenue 212-744-8510 maryarnoldtoys.com Nintendo World Store 10 Rockerfeller Plaza 646-459-0800 nintendoworldstore.com Pizzazzz Kidz Inc 271 Court St, Brooklyn 718-797-3177 pizzazz.com Romp 145 5th Ave, Brooklyn 718-230-4373 State News (two locations) 112 East 86th Street 212-831-8010 1243 Third Avenue (at East 72nd Street) 212-879-8076 Totally Toys 1427 Coney Island Ave, Brooklyn 718-758-0088

HomBoms Toys Inc. 1500 First Avenue 212-717-5300

Toys ‘R’ Us 1514 Broadway 1-800-TOYSRUS toysrus.com

Kaleidoscope Toy Store 8722 3rd Avenue, Brooklyn 718-491-2051 toysatkaleidoscope.wordpress.com

Toy Space 426 Seventh Ave., Brooklyn 718-369-9096 toyspaceny.com

Kidding Around 60 West 15th Street 212-645-6337 kiddingaroundnyc.com

CSI Jr. Investigation Kit by Bowen Hill

Little Things Toy Store 145 7th Ave, Brooklyn 718-783-4733

Kidrobot 118 Prince Street 212-966-6688 kidrobot.com Learning Express Toy Store 462 2nd Avenue 972-539-9992 learningexpress.com

Very Good Toys East 1020 Third Avenue 212-521-3605 Very Good Toys West 2330 Broadway 212-501-0828 West Side Kids 498 Amersterdam Avenue 212-496-7282 —Amanda Ferris

Crazy Cheese Matching Puzzle by Blue Orange Games Ages seven and up $7.99; blueorangegames.com

G Glee for Wii by Karoke Revolution R A Ages 10 and up $ $59.99; gamestop.com

New York Family | November 2010

www.newyorkfamily.com

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JOANIE LEEDS CHANUKAH CONCERT AND PIZZA LUNCH

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Join Joanie Leeds for all your favorite Chanukah songs while you nosh on a pizza lunch.

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tion of UJA-Federa a beneficiary

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the

BIg hunt

For Her 10th Birthday Party, An NYC Girl And Her Friends Take On The Metropolitan Museum Of Art By Eric MEssingEr

y daughter turned 10 this year, and to celebrate her first “double digit” birthday, my wife and I hoped to throw her a party that she’d really love, something she had never tried before. Not an easy challenge. After 10 years of her own and others’ parties, she’s been a lucky participant in a lot of festive occasions. Our big hunt ended with a big hunt. For years, I had heard that a company called Watson Adventures had taken the concept of a scavenger hunt and applied it in fun, surprising, crazy ways, using the city as the landscape for all sorts of adventures

Hunt (at the Bronx Zoo). Great stuff, no? Watson offers regularly-scheduled public hunts and customized private hunts. In the kids realm, they work with schools and camps, and do parties as elaborate as big bar/bat mitvah groups, or as cozy as my daughter’s celebration—her plucky younger brother and her six friends joined my wife and I for The Art Attack Scavenger Hunt at the Met. Here’s how it worked. A very pleasant supervisor from Watson divided us into two teams, my wife and I being the team leaders. We were each given a list of 20 clues to solve, one team starting from the front of the list, the other at the back. This way the teams wouldn’t see much of each other in the course of the hunt—until we all reconvened an hour and a half later to see which team had answered the most questions correctly. The bottom line: Never have I seen young children so enthused about being at museum! In pursuit of eternal glory, we explored an amazing amount of cultural riches: Medieval armor, Impressionist art, Mayan jewelry, American sculpture, Egyptian tombs, the works. And thank goodness my daughter’s team (led by wife), won. But really we all did. F For more about Watson Adventures, visit watsonadventures.com.

In pursuit of eternal glory, we explored an amazing amount of cultural riches: Medieval armor, Impressionist art, Mayan jewelry, american sculpture, egyptian tombs, the works. for adults and kids. Whether their hunts are themed by glamour, grit, mystery, history, fright or education, they all sounded like a lot of fun. A sampling of their family highlights include The Secrets of Central Park Scavenger Hunt, The Wizard School Scavenger Hunt (at the Museum of Metropolitan Art), The Fright at the Museum Scavenger Hunt (at the Museum of Natural History), and The Wild Wildlife Scavenger www.newyorkfamily.com

The author’s daughter (center, in baseball hat) with friends and family at her scavenger hunt birthday party.

Fantasy

Fetes

Inspired Party Themes To Make Your Child’s Birthday Wish Come True

Mazes, Races & MoRe: Blend free play and organized activities at the 92nd Street Y’s GymMaze Craze party, which features a spiral tunnel slide, two ball pools, a rope swing and more. Preschoolers driven by speed will love Chelsea Piers’ Ultimate Tykes Challenge, which includes relay races with tricycles, potato sacks and scooters. Planes, TRains & auToMobiles: Housed in a 1930’s subway station, The New York Transit Museum’s train-themed party provides little transit lovers with guided tours of its memorabilia, including vintage collections of subway cars. Looking for a more musical experience? Head to Three Little Birds, where kids learn songs about transportation and imitate the sounds vehicles make using musical instruments. a PRehisToRic PaRTy: Throw a Dinosaur Discovery Party at the American Museum of Natural History! The birthday child and November 2010 | New York Family

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KIDS KNOCK THINGS OVER. WE SET THEM UP AGAIN. KIDS KNOCK THINGS OVER. WE SET THEM UP AGAIN. KIDS KNOCK THINGS OVER. WE SET THEM UP AGAIN. TALK ABOUT A

arent’s DREAM BIRTHDAY PARTY. pMOM’S

300newyork.com • In the Chelsea Piers Sports & Entertainment Complex • 212.835.2695

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Chelsea Piers guests learn how paleontologists use evidence to unveil the secrets of these extinct creatures, then explore the Dinosaur Hall and see dinosaurs “pop” to life in the 3D art collection.

Party at 74th St. MAGIC, which includes rides on the venue’s exclusive filing swing, on top of plenty of fun in their fully equipped gym or baby gym and the use of the party room or rooftop playground.

FARM FUN: Experience the Farm Animal Party at Art Farm in the City. In addition to the animals normally there, children will get to meet ducks, a sheep, chickens, turkeys and a goat from the farm in the Hamptons. You can also get the full farm experience at the Queens County Farm Museum, where children can partake in an animal feeding, a farmyard tour and tractor drawn hayride!

ROLL N’ BOWL: Kids can compete to stay out of the gutter while they battle each other in a birthday bowling game. From choosing the perfect bowling shoes, to enjoying snacks and drinks, to hopefully rolling a strike, it’s a full afternoon of fun! Great places to host parties include Bowlmor Lanes, 300 New York, Harlem Lanes and Lucky Strike.

MOVE AND GROOVE: It’s like two parties in one with Gymtime Rhythm & Glues’ Gym Party! Spend one hour having a ball with coach-led activities and free play in the gym, then change tunes and groove to DJ music while playing games like freeze and limbo. A special visit from Gymtime’s Mr. Bananas is included! BALLERINA BASH: At Ballet Academy East, the birthday child and friends can enjoy a personalized ballet class with an instructor, pianist and party host. After the lesson, guests will dance a ballet story told by the teacher and enjoy some refreshments. At Twinkle Party, kids can learn some new steps from a professional ballerina, participate in ballet-themed crafts and activities and put on a performance for the parent guests. AMERICAN IDOL: Throw your child an American Idol party at Citibabes! Guests can participate in dance contests, sing their favorite songs and enjoy their own personal Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell or Randy Jackson. A face painter or balloon artist will also join in on the fun! UP, UP, AND AWAY!: Has your child ever tried a zipline? They can as part of the Gymnastics Party at My Gym, which also features games, activities, and songs. Kids also have the chance to soar through the air with the Gymtastic! www.newyorkfamily.com

AN ARTSY AFFAIR: Kids can try their hand at weaving at Loop Of The Loom, choosing from a wall filled with over 500 colors of spool. Or, tap into their inner diva with the Rock Star party at The Craft Studio, where they can decorate superstar sunglasses, a pop star microphone, and celebrityinspired hair piece. Or head over to Scribble Press, where kids can make books, calendars, and other personalized keepsakes in a festive setting. For more hands-on fun, head to the newly unveiled Make Meaning, where kids can create and take home their masterpiece in candles, soap, paint, ceramics, glass or jewelry. Finally, check out Poloppo’s party options—kids will flip over the chance to design their very own t-shirts! TOYS & DOLLS: If your child loves American Girl Place, a special day at the New York store is the ultimate present! Parties include a sit-down meal, doll tiara for each guest, a table game, a take-home craft and much more. If it’s robots, not dolls, your child loves, head to Robot Galaxy, where guests can hop aboard a “spaceship,” design their own robot, then activate it! Or, how about stuffing, stitching and dressing your own stuffed animal from scratch with a Build-A-Bear party? DATE ON SKATES: Put on a pair of skates and show off your skills on the rink—or learn a few new moves from an on-site instructor.

Jodi’s Gym

74th St. MAGIC

Gymtime Rhythm & Glues For a winter-wonderland skate party, Wollman Skating Rink or The Rink at Rockefeller Center both provide picturesque backdrops to a skating soiree. If your child wants to skate in the summer, City Ice Pavilion hosts parties year-round. GET PAMPERED: Treat your birthday girl and friends to a full makeover at Cozy’s Cuts For Kids with the Glamorama Birthday Party, which includes hair-dos, makeup and manicures—plus music and an art project! Or, stick to the fingers and toes at Dashing Diva, where guests get pampered with a manicure and pedicure. The Yoga Spa Party at Karma Kids Yoga includes yoga moves accompanied by aromatherapy, hand and foot massages, henna tattoos, islandstyle hair braiding, nail polishing and more! Finally, wherever you hold your party, Face Art By Melissa (faceartbymelissa.com) can create fabulous designs (glitter tattoos, too!) to match your theme! PRINCESS PARTY: Don royal court-dresses, shoes, jewelry, tiaras, wands, glitter nail polish, fairy dust, eye shadow, jewels, and more with the Happy Birthday Princess Party at Let’s Dress Up! The day even includes a birthday tea served under crystal chandeliers. Or, add a little music to the mix with a Princess party by Moey’s Music Party. Guests love Moey’s sparkly pink dress and even get their own

boas, tiaras and slap bracelets to wear while enjoying Moey’s one-ofa-kind songs! TOYING AROUND: Looking for an iconic party venue? At FAO Schwarz, families can rent the entire store if they like—though taking over a portion of the store or using the party room is also an option. Customize your own party theme with the help of the staff. LEARN AND EXPLORE: The Children’s Museum of Manhattan’s renowned Playworks exhibit, a unique, hands-on learning environment for kids, is also the site of their PlayWorks-themed birthday party. Guests can become a firefighter, “cook” a meal in the Little Apple Deli, construct a tall building, create a birthday masterpiece on the gigantic art wall and much more. ROCK N’ ROLL: How about a personal birthday concert? The songs for seeds celebration at apple seeds features a live band (guitar, keys and drums) that kids can rock out to—plus, the birthday child and friends get their own kid-sized instruments to try out! Or, have a dance party with Applause NY and put together your own playlist for live musicians to perform. Puppets and bubbles are included! Kids can also rock out to Little Maestros, who sing and play guitar, piano and drums. Songs range from traditional kids songs

November 2010 | New York Family

Birthday Parties at 74th St. MAGIC Please join us for:

ffordable a d n a n u f ...a ty to Birthday par remember

Where:

MAGICâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fully equipped gym, baby gym, sundrenched party room and rooftop playground

When:

Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays!

RSVP:

212.737.2989 or www.74magic.com Under the red canopy 510 East 74th Street (off York Ave.) NYC 212.737.2989 www.74magic.com

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Applause NY

Citibabes

MOVIE MAKING FUN: Kids can tap into their inner filmmaker with the Animation Celebration at Children’s Museum of the Arts. Participants learn the basics of claymation and then collaborate on a short animation movie that brings their creativity to life. PIZZA PARTY: Kids can mix, measure, and stir up their own whole wheat pizzas—learning about the cooking process along the way—with the Pizza Party Extravaganza at Taste Buds. Later, they’ll eat their creations followed by delicious cupcakes they decorate themselves (and take home a personalized apron to boot.) With Mini Chef NYC’s Pizza Party at Dos Caminos, birthday guests mold pizza dough into fun shapes, then enjoy a magic show while it bakes in the oven. CALLING CLIFFORD FANS: The Scholastic Store offers up Clifford’s BIG Birthday Bash, featuring a special storytime and craft project. The finale is truly BIG— when Clifford stops by for photos, music and dancing, cupcakes and cuddling!

TENNIS TIME: At SPORTIME at Randall’s Island, tennis pros lead kids in fun and games on the courts (outdoor courts and picnic tables are available in summer), followed by a pizza party in a private room. Is table tennis more your child’s speed? Check out Spin, which specializes in ping pong and has plenty of tables to play on! ZOO ADVENTURE: The Central Park Zoo offers a theater-themed party that also features a live animal encounter—perfect for kids who’ve been vying to get up close and personal with the zoo’s inhabitants! Or, choose your own animal theme at the Bronx Zoo, which offers parties that combine fun activities, arts and crafts, visits to exhibits and live animal guests in the party room! PASS, KICK, SCORE!: Opt for the Platinum Ball Party with Super Soccer Stars for some actionpacked time on the field. The party includes at least two coaches who oversee activities from warm-up exercises to games to a mini-World Cup tournament. Food and cake follows, and each child leaves with a Super Soccer Stars soccer ball to continue the fun at home. EXCITING EXPERIMENTS: Want to explore the unknown? At Liberty Science Center, party

HEIDI GREEN

to classic party tunes (or request your own). They even break out puppets, bubbles, parachutes, and more fun activities.

Kidville guests can command an electromagnetic crane, climb a fossilstudded rock wall and control the water in a gushing geyser. For a more scientific approach, team up with Mad Science, which hosts birthday parties featuring hands-on experiments like tornado tubes, indoor fireworks and chemical reactions that produce light! PLAYSPACE PARTY: With a forest-themed play area, an interactive water adventure space called Splash!, and a soft play room, there’s plenty of fun to be had with a Playtime Party at City Treehouse! Or, move the party outside at the West Side YMCA, where kids can play on the venue’s new rooftop playground as part of the Roof Top Party, replete with a slide and spongy surface. CUSTOMIZE YOUR OWN AFFAIR: Looking for a great all-around venue where you can customize your own party and theme? Try the JCC of Manhattan. It provides the party space while you bring the creativity! Slate is another great space, which has its own party planner to help you customize the perfect bash.

Columbus Preschool and Gym www.newyorkfamily.com

GAMES GALORE: Host a ConeyIsland style carnival for your child replete with a basketball toss, fish pong, concession stands, snow cones and more at Carnival, a whimsical space above Bowlmor

Lanes. Looking for the ultimate arcade experience? Head to Dave & Buster’s for Donkey Kong, Pac Man, Dance Dance Revolution and more! BRING ON THE MUSIC: Sing, play kid-size instruments, explore the sounds of the orchestra, and have lots of musical fun with a birthday party at Hands On! Singing “Happy Birthday” never sounded so good! MARTIAL ARTS FUN: Kick, punch, and chop your way through the big day with a birthday party at one of the city’s leading martial arts studios. Tiger Shulmann’s Karate, West Side Taekwondo and East Side Tae Kwon Do are all excellent options. AMAZING ATHLETES: With the Sports Party at Asphalt Green, partygoers have the chance to

Three Little Birds November 2010 | New York Family

Co umbus ym

FABULOUS GYMNASTICS BIRTHDAY PARTIES!

Birthday parties start at only $450. Use promo code: COLGYM

Established in 1988, Columbus Gym is the largest and longest running gym program on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. Our state-of-the-art 3000 square foot gymnasium features every piece of equipment imaginable for superb classes and birthday parties. Our birthday parties consist of gymnastics (bars, beam, rings, pommel horse and trampoline) along with games, music, cake and much more! We invite your child to join us for a FREE TRIAL CLASS while you enjoy our family-friendly waiting area with full view of your child’s excitement.

Gymnastics

CLASSES AGES 6 MONTHS TO 12 YEARS

212-721-0090 • 606 Columbus Avenue (89th & 90th Sts.) • www.columbusgymnyc.com

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MELISSA GLASGOW

THE VENUES

New York Transit Museum partake in a sports bonanza, honing their skills in soccer, basketball, softball, flag football and more all in one day! Or, host an Ultimate Sports Party at Kidville, which includes games, relay races and other challenges. Want a more focused sports celebration? Celebrate with Kids In Sports and chose two to three sports to focus on from among baseball, basketball, flag football, floor hockey and soccer. At the NBA Store, aspiring hoop stars can get suited up in NBA All-Star jerseys, pose for photos and show their skills in contests and drills. For a more zen birthday experience, kids can host a Yogi Beans party, where they can partake in fun yoga activities led by a certified and experienced instructor. GYM’S THE WORD: Kids run, bounce and slide to their hearts’ content at Jodi’s Gym, where action-packed parties include the use of the tunnels, a space bouncer, tumble track and more. Columbus Preschool and Gym offers a great combination of gym time and old fashioned party fun. Another great gymnastics experience is Discovery Programs, where a coach guides kids on the trampoline, rings and more as part of the Gymnastics Party package. Let little ones tumble to their heart’s content at Gymboree Play & Learn, where you can choose from a variety of kid-pleasing themes. Or, try the Jump N’ Jive Party at New York Kids Club, which includes the chance to jump on the venue’s 20foot trampoline and tackle obstacle courses. A PERSONAL CIRCUS: Kids can create their own circus with the Under The Top party at Manhattan Movement & Arts Center. Guests fly on aerial silks, juggle, make their own pyramids and become silly clowns. Optional add-ons include cotton candy machines, candied apples, a bouncy castle, magician and more. —Reported by Leah Black, Brittany McNamara and Teresa Tobat www.newyorkfamily.com

14TH STREET Y, 344 East 14th Street, 212-780-0800, 14streety.org 74TH ST. MAGIC, 510 East 74th Street, 212-737-2989, 74magic.com 92ND STREET Y, 1395 Lexington Avenue, 212-415-5500, 92y.org 300 NEW YORK, 212-835-2695, threehundred.com AMERICAN GIRL PLACE, 609 Fifth Avenue at 49th Street, 877-247-5223, americangirl.com AMERICAN MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY, 79th Street and Central Park West 212-769-5100, amnh.org APPLAUSE NEW YORK CITY, Home of Rock ‘n’ Roll Babies, Broadway Babies and Superstars, St. Jean’s Community Center, 184 East 76th Street, 212-717-0703, applauseny.com APPLE SEEDS, 10 West 25th Street, 212792-7590 ext. 208, appleseedsnyc.com ART FARM IN THE CITY, 419 East 91st Street, 212-410-3117, theartfarms.org ASPHALT GREEN, 555 East 90th Street, 212-369-8890, asphaltgreen.org BALLET ACADEMY EAST, 1651 Third Avenue, 212-410-9140, balletacademyeast.com BOWLMOR LANES, 110 University Place, 212-255-8188, bowlmor.com BRONX ZOO, 2300 Southern Boulevard, 718-220-5103, bronxzoo.com BROOKLYN BOULDERS, 575 DeGraw Street, Brooklyn, 347-834-9066, brooklynboulders.com BUILD-A-BEAR WORKSHOP, 565 Fifth Avenue, 212-871-7080, buildabear.com CARNIVAL, 110 University Place, 212-2558188, carnivalnyc.com CENTRAL PARK ZOO, East Side between 62nd and 63rd streets, 212-439-6500, centralparkzoo.com CHELSEA PIERS, West 23rd Street and the Hudson River, 212-336-6800, chelseapiers.com CHILDREN’S MUSEUM OF THE ARTS, 182 Lafayette Street, 212-274-0986, cmany.org CHILDREN’S MUSEUM OF THE EAST END, 376 Bridgehampton/Sag Harbor Turnpike, 631-537-8250, cmee.org CHILDREN’S MUSEUM OF MANHATTAN, 212 West 83rd Street (between Amsterdam and Broadway), 212-721-1223 ext. 219, cmom.org CITIBABES, 52 Mercer Street, Third Floor, 1-800-697-0107, citibabes.com CITY ICE PAVILION, 47-32 32nd Place, Long Island City, 718-505-6230, cityicepavilion.com CITY TREEHOUSE, 129A West 20th Street, 212-255-2050, citytreehouse.com COLOR ME MINE, 116 Franklin Street, 212-941-0120, tribeca.colormemine.com/ COLUMBUS PRE-SCHOOL AND GYM, 606 Columbus Avenue 212-721-0090, columbuspreschoolandgym.com COZY’S CUTS FOR KIDS, Various locations in Manhattan 212-585-COZY, cozyscutsforkids.com THE CRAFT STUDIO, 1657 Third Avenue, 212-831-6626, craftstudionyc.com CREATIVE PLAY FOR KIDS, 212-7291667, creativeplayforkids.com DASHING DIVA, Various locations, 212228-9999, dashingdiva.com DAVE & BUSTER’S, 234 West 42nd Street, 646-495-2015, daveandbusters.com DISCOVERY PROGRAMS, 251 West 100th Street, 212-749-8717, discoveryprograms.com

DYLAN’S CANDY BAR, 1011 Third Avenue, 646-735-0078, dylanscandybar.com EAST SIDE TAE KWON DO, 325 East 65th Street, 212-755-5982, eastsidetaekwondo.com THE EARLY EAR, Various locations in Manhattan, 212-877-7125, theearlyear.com FAO SCHWARZ FIFTH AVENUE, 767 5th Avenue, 212-644-9400, fao.com GYMBOREE, Various locations in Manhattan, 1-877-4-GYMWEB (1-877-449-6932) gymboreeclasses.com GYMTIME RHYTHM & GLUES, 1520 York Avenue, 212-861-7732, gymtime.net HANDS ON!, Various locations in Manhattan, 212-339-9915, handson4music.com HARLEM LANES, 2116 Adam Clayton Powell Jr. Boulevard, Third and Fourth Floors, 212-678-BOWL, harlemlanes.net HI ART!, 227 West 29 Street Studio 4R, 212-209-1552, hiartkids.com INTREPID SEA, Air & Space Museum, Pier 86, West 46th Sreet and 12th Avenue, 212245-0072, intrepidmuseum.org THE JCC IN MANHATTAN, 334 Amsterdam Avenue, 646-505-4444, jccmanhattan.org JODI’S GYM, 244 East 84th Street, 212772-7633, jodisgym.com KARMA KIDS YOGA, 104 West 14th Street, Second Floor, 646-638-1444, karmakidsyoga.com KICK & PLAY, Various locations, 212-8775425, supersoccerstars.com/kickandplay KIDS AT ART, Little Shop of Crafts, 431 East 73rd Street, 212-410-978, kidsatartnyc.com KIDS IN SPORTS, Various locations, 212744-4900, kisnyc.com KIDVILLE, Various locations in Manhattan and Brooklyn, 212-362-3923, kidville.com LET’S DRESS UP!, 345 East 85th Street, 212-879-0956, uppereast.com/lets-dress-up LIBERTY SCIENCE CENTER, Liberty State Park 222, Jersey City Boulevard, NJ, 201200-1000, lsc.org LOOP OF THE LOOM, 227 East 87th Street, 212-722-2686, loopoftheloom.com LUCKY STRIKE, 624-660 West 42nd Street, 646-829-0170, bowlluckystrike.com MAKE MEANING, 329 Columbus Avenue, 212-362-0350, makemeaning.com MANHATTAN MOVEMENT & ARTS CENTER, 248 West 60th Street, 212-787-1178, manhattanmovement.com MANHATTAN YOUTH DOWNTOWN COMMUNITY CENTER, 120 Warren Street, 212-766-1104, manhattanyouth.org MOOMAH, 161 Hudson Street, 212-2260345, moomah.com MINI CHEF NYC, Various locations, 212727-2703, minichefnyc.com MUSEUM OF THE CITY OF NEW YORK, 1220 Fifth Avenue, 212-534-1672, mcny.org MY GYM, Various locations, 800-4MGYMS, my-gym.com NBA STORE, Fifth Avenue and 52nd Street, 212-515-6221, nba.com/nycstore NEW YORK KIDS CLUB, Various locations in Manhattan 347-706-4700, nykidsclub.com NEW YORK TRANSIT MUSEUM, Boerum Place and Schermerhorn Street, Brooklyn, 718-694-1600, mta.info.mta/museum POLOPPO, 877-396-4863, polopo.com POPPYSEED PRE-NURSERY, 424 West End Avenue, 212-877-7614 QUEENS COUNTY FARM MUSEUM, 7350 Little Neck Parkway, 718-347-3276,

queensfarm.org REEBOK SPORTS CLUB/NY, 160 Columbus Avenue, 212-362-6800, reeboksportsclubny.com. RIPLEY’S BELIEVE IT OR NOT! ODDITORIUM, 234 West 42nd Street, 212-398-3133, ripleysnewyork.com ROBOT GALAXY, Freehold Raceway Mall, 3710 Route 9, Freehold, NJ, 732-431-3876 THE SCHOLASTIC STORE, 557 Broadway, 212-343-6166, store.scholastic.com SCRIBBLE PRESS, 1624 First Avenue, 212-288-2928, scribblepress.com SLATE, 54 West 21st Street, 212-9890096, slate-ny.com SOCCER BY COACH FHER, 917-650-3008, coachfher.com 212-833-8100, sonywondertechlab.com SPIN NEW YORK, 48 East 23rd Street, 212-982-8802, spinyc.com SPORTS CLUB/LA, Various locations in Manhattan, 212-218-8600, thesportsclubla.com SPORTIME AT RANDALL’S ISLAND, 212427-6150, sportimeny.com STEPS ON BROADWAY, 2121 Broadway, 212-874-2410, stepsnyc.com STORYTIME BY DESIGN, 1296 Lexington Avenue between 87th and 88th 917-533-4201; 917-405-7959, storytimebydesign.com SUPER SOCCER STARS, Various locations in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, and the Hamptons,212-877-7171, supersoccerstars.com TASTE BUDS, 109 West 27th Street, 212242-2248, tastebudscook.com THREE LITTLE BIRDS MUSIC, 266 East 78th Street, 212-744-0404,tlbmusic.com. TIGER SHULMANN’S KARATE, 39 West 19th Street, 10800-620 3971, tsk.com TWINKLE PARTY, West 48th Street and 10th Avenue, 402-770-0634, twinklepartyfun.com WATSON ADVENTURES SCAVENGER HUNTS, Various locations, 877-946-4868 watsonadventures.com WEST SIDE TAEKWONDO, 700 Columbus Avenue, 212-663-3998, westsidetkd.com WEST SIDE YMCA, 5 West 63rd Street, 212-912-2600, ymcanyc.org WOLLMAN SKATING RINK, Central Park, 212-439-6900, wollmanskatingrink.com XTREME RHYTHMIC ACADEMY, 351 East 74th Street and First Avenue, 646457-7527 YOGI BEANS, 131 West 86th Street, 212787-9642, yogibeans.com

PARTY SUPPLIES & FAVORS CRYSTAL PARTY SUPPLIES, 4306 Broadway, 212-543-9463 DINOSAUR HILL, 306 East 9th Street, 212-473-5850, dinosaurhill.com PARTY CITY, 38 West 14th Street, 212271-7310, partycity.com THE CHILDREN’S GENERAL STORE, 168 East 91st Street, 212-426-4479 STATE NEWS, Various locations in Manhattan, 212-831-8010

November 2010 | New York Family

How To Throw A

Spectacular Sleepover Helpful Tips And Inspired Ideas For Slumber Party Success By Jill Valente

Planning to make your child’s next birthday party an all-nighter? We chatted with Penny Warner, author of “Slumber Parties, 25 Fun-Filled Party Themes,” and Debra Friedman, a sleepover-savvy NYC mom, to glean a few helpful hints.

Magic Numbers. The ideal age range for slumber parties is 8-12, Warner says. She also recommends inviting only close friends to keep the chaos to a minimum. Helping Hands. Bring in extra help, Friedman says. If you have a regular babysitter, consider hiring him or her to help monitor the party. Ground Rules. Implement a few ground rules, like no leaving the apartment and no prank calling, Warner says. Most importantly, let kids know they can come get you at any time.

Improvise. “We borrowed a bunch of blow up beds and my daughter has a pullout,” Freidman says. “We had wall-to-wall beds and it worked out really well.” Star Light, Star Bright. Warner recommends having the children arrange their sleeping bags in a “starburst” formation, with heads together in the middle. This encourages chatting, keeps children from feeling left out and conserves space. Options Are Limited. Eliminate disputes between guests by choosing which movie to watch or snack to eat, suggests Friedman. The less choice, the less fighting. Serve and Spy. While parents won’t want to get in the way of all the fun, they should always stick close by, Warner says. Serve snacks and drinks every 45 minutes or so as an excuse to check in. Is It Over Yet? When the planned festivities are over, wind down the party by putting on a movie, suggests Warner. Also, make sure there is an endtime on your invitation. After spending the night with a full house, you will definitely be looking forward to a quiet day. Breakfast Bash. Make breakfast a celebration, too! Set up a breakfast bar with different types of cereals and a make-your-own-omelette station. Or, Warner suggests, take the kids out for pancakes in their pajamas! 74

New York Family | November 2010

FUN SLUMBER PARTY THEMES Girls Night In: Turn your apartment into a night club! Set up individual stations for hair, makeup, tattoos and nails. Provide hand-held mirrors and brushes decorated with sparkly decals. Then, have a limousine take the girls on a tour of the city while you convert the “beauty salon” into a “night club.” Hang a disco ball and colored lights, and hook up a karaoke machine. Serve hors d’oeuvres on silver platters (think mini hot dogs, pizza bagels, chicken fingers and sushi rolls). Video each guest singing their favorite song and then make DVDs for everyone to take home. Campout: Boys love to sleep over, too, and a camping adventure works great. Assemble an outdoor tent in the middle of your living room and decorate everything using camouflage colors. Pass out personalized flashlights, canteens and bandanas for them to tie on their heads. Reserve your building’s common room and construct an obstacle course. Afterward, let the boys make their own trail mix, roast hot dogs in the fireplace and microwave s’mores. Tell some spooky ghost stories, and then it’s lights out! Twilight Hour: New Moon is being released on DVD on December 4, making it the perfect time to plan a Twilight-themed slumber party. Rent all three movies in the saga—Twilight, Eclipse and New Moon—and have a movie marathon! Drape black fabric over all your furniture and decorate with red apples, white ruffled tulips, red ribbons and white chess pieces to recreate the covers of each book. Make Team Edward and Team Jacob t-shirts, and pass out fake vampire teeth. Purchase lifesize cardboard cutouts of Bella, Edward and Jacob, and using a Polaroid camera, take pictures of each guest with their favorite character. Finally, download all of author Stephanie Meyer’s playlists (listed on her website) and crank up the iPod! — J.V. www.newyorkfamily.com

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By Michelle Levine

Expert Tips For Planning Perfectly Magical Kids’ Parties—Without Breaking The Bank with invisible ink pens, which often come with a built-in UV light to reveal the secret message. Send the pen kit along with the invitation to your guests—they’ll have as much fun deciphering the message as your child had writing it. An eco-friendly (and costeffective) alternative to print invitations is using websites like Smilebox.com, which offers more than 1,000 free e-cards to choose from. All you have to do is download the program, add your own photos and videos, select music and captions, and email your creation to your guest list. If you can spend a few dollars here, premium designers offer more musical variety and are sent without advertisements. ll parents want to give their kids the party of their dreams, but over-the-top and costly birthday extravaganzas aren’t necessary to create a memorable celebration. For inspiration, we turned to party planning expert Linda Kaye of Partymakers.com—a resource offering everything from recipes to printable thank-you notes and planning to-do lists. Kaye, who has planned events for celebrities like Madonna, Kelly Ripa

A 76

New York Family | November 2010

and Jerry Seinfeld, says that simple, easy-to-do (and low-cost) touches are the key to a successful soiree. The guest’s experience starts with the invitation. Instead of expensive invites, Kaye prefers a more personal touch, and encourages parents to involve their kids in the process. “I like ideas that are easy for everyone, regardless of artistic ability,” she says. For an exciting, sleuth-style invitation, Kaye suggests writing the invitation

Now that your guests have been invited, thoughts turn to the food. Pizza remains the most popular choice for kids, but what about serving the adults? “Most people don’t eat at kids’ parties, but order food anyway,” Kaye says. “Consider putting out enough crudités or cheese and fruit for eight people if you’re expecting 16.” Another inexpensive crowd pleaser? H20! “Everyone loves water,” Kaye says. “Have a bunch of mini bottles on ice.” www.newyorkfamily.com

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Ballet Birthday Parties & Playdates Ages 3-12 Twinklepartyfun.com Twinklepartyfun@gmail.com

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MOMSENSE: Penny-Saving Party Advice From Local Moms “When planning our daughter’s birthday, we found that venues were expensive and included services we didn’t want or need, so we started emailing churches in the area. We found many with large community areas for very reasonable hourly fees. We used Advent Lutheran (Broadway at 96th), which has a beautiful basement space.” —Jennifer Maslowski, Harlem “For my son’s birthday parties, I forgo pricey specialty bakery cakes and have the bakery at my supermarket do it for a third of the price. I bring in a picture I want them to use—usually clip art in the party’s theme—and through some kind of edible copying magic the picture appears on the cake. They have dozens of batter and icing ﬂavors, and everyone always raves about how delicious it is.” —Robin Saks Frankel, Upper East Side

of music she bopped to all year. We bought a jumbo pack of blank CDs and cases, burned them and printed out a cute cover—all with our home computer. It only cost around $1.50 per kid.” —Heather Chaet, Upper West Side “There are some wonderful group coupon sites that offer discounts on kids’ activities and parties. Parents should sign up for Groupon and DoodleDeals (from Diapers.com) and keep an eye out for birthday party deals. I just saw one from DoodleDeals—$350 for a sports birthday party, a $900 Value!” —Leah Agudelo, Tribeca

“Here’s a great goodie bag idea: For our daughter’s last birthday, we made a playlist

“Our sons’ birthdays are in May so we often throw them a party together. For $25, we get a park permit for an outdoor party—there are so many great spots in Central Park and Riverside, and park parties work for all ages.” —Lora Heller, Upper West Side

The gang’s all here, but what will we do? “Let the kids become the entertainment,” Kaye suggests. Buy some inexpensive thrift shop clothing for costumes, and let the children put on a play or film a movie. “You’d be amazed at what kids come up with and where their imaginations lead them,”

she says. Another interactive activity is baking the birthday cake with the kids—for recipes and directions, Kaye’s own book, “Bake-a-Cake Party Book,” is a great resource. Not only will it save you money on an expensive bakery cake and occupy the kids for an hour or two, but it also gives guests a real

sense of accomplishment. For the more tangible take-away from your event, consider giving guests parting gifts that they can for enjoy years to come. “You can find inexpensive things that are not junk,” Kaye says. “I’m particularly fond of books, and book stores often have good deals in the children’s section.” When it comes to gift etiquette, Kaye advises against opening gifts at the party. “Instead, create a treasure hunt once you’re home and your child is relaxed and rested,” she says. “This offers a fun activity to counteract the post-party letdown, and prevents the obsessive opening of presents without really appreciating each one.” You can also use the treasure hunt as an opportunity to work on thank-you notes. “If you take a picture as your child finds each present, you can use that as part of your thank you,” Kaye says. For more party planning tips and ideas, visit partymakers.com.

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New York Family | November 2010

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FAMILY Home Design

Daschund Bookends By Jonathan Adler for giggle A canine-inspired approach to displaying your child’s favorite reads. $150; giggle.com

Design

“Change the World” Pillow By Pottery Barn Teen A percentage of proﬁts goes to “Do Something,” a charity that supports teen volunteerism. $29; Pottery Barn Teen

Wise Some Of Our Favorite New Products For Nursery Through Tween, Plus Expert Advice On Everything From Choosing Color To Saving Space By Joy Sherwood

Adele Crib By Restoration Hardware This lovely crib’s distressed look is reminiscent of a family heirloom. $949; restorationhardware.com

New York Family | November 2010

www.newyorkfamily.com

Dottilicious Wall Stickers By Wall Candy Arts Easy to apply and remove, these stickers come in various designs, and are more cost effective than hiring a painter. $54; wallcandyarts.com $54; wallcandyarts.com

Bean Bag By Fat Boy Jr. Comes in a variety of fabulous color choices; plus, the large, square size means room for more than one child to sit or play. $149; fatboyusa.com

WHAT’S HOT NOW Ali Wing, founder and CEO of giggle, shares a few of this season’s trends in children’s design: Muddled Jewel Tones. These more natural colors like sepia, plum, taupe and teal are making a splash in children’s home décor, along with a strong emphasis on texture. Breathability. This describes products made with eco-friendly fabrics and other non-toxic materials—an example would be organic cotton crib sheets. While the trend toward more eco-friendly products began over a decade ago, something about this new focus caught Wing’s eye. “I was amazed by the turn to breathability,” she says. “It’s a beautiful backdrop.” Black Frames. Okay, this trend is about strollers, not rooms. It seems geek chic has inﬁltrated even baby buggies! “I had to laugh because everybody [at the trade show] had a black frame,” Wing says. “They’re ahead in Europe but it’s deﬁnitely coming—it’s the hot gear.” www.newyorkfamily.com

Safari Tree Table with Animal Chairs By P’kolino A unique set for creative play; makes a great addition to a bedroom or playroom. $199; pkolino.com November 2010 | New York Family

FAMILY Home Design

Bunk Bed By Restoration Hardware Love the raw, simple look—so Americana! $1499; restorationhardware.com

Polar Bear Rocker By Arctic Circle A sturdy rocker with simple colors that will complement any décor. $250 at Maclaren Soho, 150 Wooster Street

CAROUSING WITH COLOR NYC-based artist and designer Sam Simon (samsimonprojects.com) shares these expert tips for using color in kids’ rooms: Color Is Key. If your space is small or lacks natural light, do not use white—trick the eye with color! The right hue brightens, expands and uniﬁes. Think of it as make-up for your room. Have Fun With Paint. It is the easiest and most costeffective way to achieve your desired look. Paint your entire room a neutral color, then level out one 18” wide horizontal stripe around the entire room. Paint it hot pink, electric olive or any crazy color you want! This typically expensive look can be done quickly, easily and for under $50. Contrast Is Crucial. When coordinating paint color to textiles or bedding, go lighter or deeper. Veer away from an exact match, or the textiles look washed out. If you’re doing a mainly blue room, try adding splashes of orange or bright yellow in pillows or artwork. If using neutrals, elements of red, teal or olive look rich against a more staid background. The Rule Of 3’s. Limit your colors within a space to no more than three. A tight, strictly edited color scheme gives a space a designer look while keeping it visually clean. Greys, blues and greens offer a calming and sophisticated effect.

Regency Youth Bed By ducduc A clean, modern look— great for a toddler transitioning to a big-kid bed. $2100; thenewtraditionalist.com

STORING YOUR STUFF Maeve Richmond (organizemyhouse.com), a NYCbased professional organizer, offers expert solutions for storing children’s items: Cubbies To The Rescue! Every kid’s room needs this versatile classroom staple, Richmond says. Use cubbies to store diapers, clothes and blankets during infancy, and toys, games and books as children grow. Use Age And Stage Storage Bins. Excess kid clothing piles up fast. Sort clothing not in use by age, season or size and store them in bins under beds or on closet shelves. Invest In The Best. Get a closet system that does the sorting for you. These easy-to-install systems come in a variety of sizes and provide space for shelves, hanging rods and slide out drawers or bins. Implement Files For School Age Children. Kids need ﬁles, too! Get a horizontal ﬁling system with pull-out drawers and assign each drawer a purpose. Let your child keep whatever he or she wants in the drawers.

New York Family | November 2010

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Where To Shop For Children’s Home Décor In NYC

Sammy Pink Cupcake Deliciousness Table Lamp From The Sammy Collection By Sam Simon Perfect for a nightstand or dresser, this lamp will inspire sweet dreams! $49.97; homedepot.com

ABC Carpet and Home, 888 and 881 Broadway, 212-473-3000, abchome.com Albee Baby, 715 Amsterdam Avenue, 212-662-8902, albeebaby.com Baby Depot, 707 6th Avenue, 212229-1300, babydepot.com Babies R Us, 24-30 Union Square East, 212-798-9905, babiesrus.com Bellini Baby and Teen Furniture, 1305 Second Avenue, 212-517-9233, bellini.com Buy Buy Baby, 270 Seventh Avenue, 917-344-1555, buybuybaby.com Company Kids, thecompanystore.com ducduc, 524 Broadway, Suite 206, 212-226-1868, ducducnyc.com

Wall Light By Love or Rock Light up their room with memorable words. $149; Pottery Barn Teen

Ethan Allen, 1010 3rd Avenue, (212) 888-2384, ethanallen.com giggle, 120 Wooster Street, 212334-5817; 1033 Lexington Avenue, 212-249-4249; 352 Amsterdam Avenue, 212-362-8680; giggle.com Gracious Home, 1992 Broadway, 212-231-7800; 1217 Third Avenue, 212-517-6300; gracioushome.com

Savannah Changer/Dresser By ducduc A classic piece to treasure long after diapering days are over! $2100; thenewtraditionalist.com

Home Depot, 40 West 23rd Street, 212-929-9571; 980 3rd Avenue, 212-888-1512, homedepot.com IKEA, One Beard Street, Brooklyn, 718-246-4532, ikea.com Kids Supply Co Jr. Homestore, 1343 Madison Avenue, 212-426-1200, kidssupply.com

DESIGNING ON A BUDGET New mom and former New York Family editor Leah Black offers these tips for designing a child’s room on a budget: Focus! Before you purchase anything, choose a design focus that will help you narrow your search. Great places to look for budget-friendly ideas are apartmenttherapy. com and designspongeonline.com. Furnish For Less. When it comes to furniture, parents love Ikea—especially the Gulliver Crib ($99), and Expedit bookcase ($69). Plus, many of Ikea’s dressers can be converted into changing tables simply by putting a changing pad on top. For inexpensive gliders, try Schneider’s (41 West 25th Street), which has a range of chairs at different prices, with dozens on the floor you can try out. Get Artsy With Etsy. For decorating accessories, check out Etsy.com, where artists sell handmade goods. Sellers offering reasonably priced children’s items include Six Under A Tree (etsy.com/shop/sixunderatree), which has great wall decals; Dosta Beba (etsy.com/shop/mamax2), where you’ll find whimsical mobiles; and artandphilanthropy (etsy.com/shop/artandphilanthropy), which offers colorful recycled collage art you can frame. Embrace The Hand-Me-Down: City parents are always looking to unload baby items they no longer need. Check out Craigslist.com’s children’s section for nursery finds that are inexpensive and often free.

Maclaren, 150 Wooster Street, 212677-2700, maclarenbaby.com Planet Kids, 247 East 86th Street, 212-426-2040; 191 Amsterdam Avenue, 212-362-3931; 2688 Broadway, 212-864-8705; planetkidsny.com Pottery Barn Kids, 1311 2nd Avenue, 212-879-4746; 1451 Second Avenue 212-879-2513, potterybarnkids.com Pottery Barn Teen, 1451 Second Avenue (at 76th Street), 212-8792513, pbteen.com Restoration Hardware, 935 Broadway, 212-260-9479, restorationhardware.com Schneider’s, 41 West 25th Street, 212-228-3540, schneidersbaby.com Yoya Mart, 15 Gansevoort Street, 212-242-5511, yoyashop.com

IN THE

Harlem’s Other Renaissance This Month’s Dream Building Brings Modern Design And Relaxed Family Living To East Harlem

1280 FIFTH AVENUE For many city families, being in close proximity to cultural institutions and parks is a top priority. The developers of 1280 Fifth Avenue, a sleek, new modern building between 109th and 110th Streets in East Harlem, have kept this in mind. Close to Museum Mile, the building houses The Museum of African Art, and Central Park serves as its front yard. The Upper East Side’s excellent private schools are easily accessible as well; three subway lines, including express service, are just a few blocks away, and four bus lines stop across the street. But there’s plenty that sets 1280 Fifth Avenue apart besides its great location. Designed by the renowned Robert A.M. Stern Architects, the exterior features a basketweave skin on the lower half of the building’s 21 stories. “The sponsor of 1280 did not ask Stern to stick within the same traditional vocabulary,” explains Nancy Packes, President of Brown Harris Stevens, Project Marketing. The design was a deliberate move towards a more modern style, and the American Institute of Architecture has taken notice. “The architec-

ture critics have recognized that the building is just gorgeous,” says Packes. The building is also anticipating LEED certification; over 20% of the building’s construction and design materials are also made from recycled items, and its landscaped rooftop area makes use of an irrigation system to conserve water. The building faces Central Park, and all 116 units either have direct picture window views of the park or face the rest of the city, Packes says. The interiors, designed by Andre Kikoski, include grand entrances into spacious rooms. The largest living rooms measure 16 x 21 and the kitchens are open, featuring teak cabinetry, deep brown granite countertops, stainless steel appliances and oversized refrigerators, with at least one pantry. “Almost always, there is a very generous separate area that constitutes the dining room,” Packes adds. Bathrooms also feature limestone floors, glassenclosed, spa-style showers and double sinks. “It has really been designed with a comprehensive approach to meet families’ expectations, she says. “The number of different types of homes is heavily weighted towards larger homes—two and three bedrooms—and we are in the process of creating combination homes.” Square footage ranges from 1440 to 1700 for two-bedrooms and from 1600 to over 1800 for three-bedrooms. The building also offers plenty of amenities, with storage units, concierge service and a parking garage available. Many residents also gather on the fifth floor, where there’s a fitness center, a children’s playroom and a teen game room. “Also recognizing how families live, we have a beautiful lounge, private dining room and catering kitchen, and next to it is a card and game area,” says Packes. “It’s like having another home.” What’s more, with a landscaped rooftop terrace overlooking Central Park to the West and a heated swimming pool facing spectacular sunrises to the East, it’s easy for families to relax and feel at home. —Celene McDermott

New York Family | November 2010

www.newyorkfamily.com

1280 FIFTH AVENUE ALSO ON THE MARKET...

359 West 11th Street

638 President Street

Located on a quiet, tree-lined West Village block, this elegant post-war, six-room condo features a doorman, a video intercom system and a private garden. The spacious living room is perfect for entertaining, while the kitchen boasts custom cherry wood cabinets and limestone countertops. The master bedroom’s balcony looks north over the back courtyard, offering a stunning view of the Empire State Building; the ensuite marble master bath includes a shower stall and a soaking tub. From large closets to a Murphy bed, storage and space solutions abound. The pet-friendly condo also has an in-home washer and dryer. What’s more, both Hudson River Park and the Meatpacking District are right nearby. Asking Price: $2,595,000 | Maint/CC: $1,764 Agent: William Grant, 212-906-0518; Jill Mangone, 212-452-4478, Brown Harris Stevens 6 Rooms, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms

Originally built as a piano factory during the Civil War, this 2500 square foot duplex loft boasts a marble floor, gourmet kitchen, wine refrigerator, central air and a very low maintenance fee. The home features spacious living and dining rooms along with four bedrooms and three baths, including one with a Jacuzzi tub and spa shower for two. Other amenities include a live-in superintendent and a garage located right across the street. Located on the same block as Eli’s Vinegar Factory, the apartment is just steps away from favorite Upper East Side haunts like Carl Schurz Park, Gracie Mansion and Asphalt Green.

With two floors, four bedrooms and three full baths, this Park Slope duplex is perfect for a growing family. The open kitchen features an island, custom cabinets, Asko dishwasher and a Wolf stove with six burners. The bathrooms include concrete, slate and marble fixtures as well as soaking tubs. Wood floors and radiant heat make this home especially cozy in winter, while three zoned central air conditioning keeps everyone cool in summer. The condo also includes a private elevator with key entry, a private roof deck with a view of the Statue of Liberty, and storage areas perfect for strollers and bikes. Located next to restaurants, shopping and the Park Slope Food Co-op, this home is a short walk to Prospect Park. There’s also a 25-year tax exemption.

Asking Price: $2,200,000 | Maint/CC: $1,250 Agent: Jon Fisher, 917-575-1934, Prudential Douglas Elliman 7 Rooms, 4 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms

Asking Price: $1,599,000 | Maint/CC: $462 Agent: Patricia Neinast, Corcoran, 718-832-4146 ext. 226 6 Rooms, 4 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms

407 East 91st Street, Apt 1D

These were the prices as of October 22 www.newyorkfamily.com

November 2010 | New York Family

NATURAL WONDERS [All Ages] Wave Hill, the 28-acre public garden and cultural center in the Bronx, is a wonderful natural oasis for families in the fall, and boasts tons of great programming, events and workshops throughout the month of November. On November 14th, families can participate in a Discovery Walk through the center’s woodlands and gardens with a naturalist and explore the world of insects, flowers, trees and birds. What’s more, Wave Hill also offers frequent family workshops and art projects, like the Dances With Leaves workshop (where kids can make costumes or crowns out of leaves and other natural materials) on the 13th, and the Papermaking Party (where families can try out new paper-making techniques) on the 27th. Wave Hill is open weekly from Tuesday through Sunday. West 249th Street and Independence Avenue, wavehill.org.

November 6

NOVEMBER 20th

BIRDS OF A FEATHER [All Ages]

As part of its Happy Concerts For Young People Series, the Little Orchestra Society invites families to the world-premiere of a family-friendly production of the Russian ballet masterpiece by Igor Stravinsky, “Stravinksy’s Firebird” on November 6. Dancing bunraku-style puppets and shadow-play in the hands of 11 puppeteers move to the incredible music of Maestro Anagnost and the Orchestra in this one-of-a-kind performance. Shows begin at 11 a.m. and 1 p.m.; tickets $12-50. Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center, 1941 Broadway at 65th Street. littleorchestra.org.

November 7

VARIETY SHOW BY THE SHORE [Ages 7+] On November 7th, the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus and Playful Productions welcome families to the 7th annual variety show at Coney Island, featuring a spectacular and high-energy performance from the “Cirkus” that will combine elements of Vaudeville, Wild West shows, burlesque,

throughout NOVEMBER

10 Great Ideas

JOSHUA BRIGHT

for Kids Culture Guide

Throughout November

New York Family | November 2010

for November By parentsconnect.com and newyorkfamily.com

www.newyorkfamily.com

and more. The Cirkus’ performers, which range in age from five to 21 years-old, are aspiring Cirque du Soleil, Ringling Brothers, television and Broadway performers, who will juggle, tap, flip, sing and dance their way across the stage. Kids will be so enthralled, they’ll be somersaulting and tapping their toes all the way home. The performance begins at 3 p.m. Sideshows by the Seashore, 1208 Surf Ave, Brooklyn; Tickets are $15 for adults, $10 for children under 21; coneyisland.com.

NOVEMBER 16th

November 11

STARS AND STRIPES [All ages]

November 19

November 20

Introduce your children to a New York tradition and honor the men and women of the armed forces at the 91st New York City Veterans Day Parade on 5th Avenue, between 26th and 56th Streets. Under the theme “Freedom Is Not Free,” the parade will be NOVEMBER 6th led by the United States Air Force to commemorate the 60th Anniversary of the Korean War, as well as the individuals currently serving the country in all service branches. With music from student marching bands from all over the country and occasional, patriotic freebies thrown to the crowds, the parade is an inspirational and joyful experience to share with kids. The parade begins with an Opening Ceremony and wreath laying at 10 a.m. at the Eternal Light Monument (5th Ave and 24th St.). 11 a.m. – 3:30 p.m; nycveteransdayparade.com.

PUT THE ‘ART’ IN PARTY

GIVE JAZZ A HAND

November 16

AN EXTRA THANKFUL STORY HOUR [6 Months—5 Years] The Family Time series at the Gerald W. Lynch Theater presents the “Barnes & Noble Storytelling Hour: Thanks For Thanksgiving,” a special story hour featuring seasonal treats and readings of some wonderful Thanksgiving-themed children’s books. Kids will be treated to readings of “Happy Thanksgiving, Biscuit!” by Alyssa Capucilli and Pat Schories, “Dora’s Thanksgiving” by Sarah Wilson and Robert Roper, “Thanks for Thanksgiving” by Julie Markes and more. 10:30 a.m., free. Lobby of Gerald W. Lynch Theater, John Jay College, 899 10th Avenue, jjay.cuny.edu/theater.

November 19-21

A REVUE TO REMEMBER

[All ages]

[Ages 6+]

At the WhitneyKids Opening Party at the Whitney Museum, families can celebrate the grand openings of two great exhibits: “Modern Life: Edward Hopper and His Time,” which will feature the oil paintings and prints from prominent artist Edward Hopper, and “Charles LeDray: workworkworkworkwork,” which will showcase LeDray’s impressive work with miniatures. At the event, kids can participate in an interactive tour of the shows or explore the exhibits on their own, before they finish the day with a complimentary snack. The festivities are free with museum admission and run from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. Adults $18; kids 18 and under, free. Whitney Museum of American Art, 945 Madison Avenue; whitney.org.

Your family can learn the true meaning of jazz at Lincoln Center’s family-friendly workshop event, “Jazz For Young People: What Is Jazz?” Led by legendary trumpeter and composer Wynton Marsalis, parents and kids alike will marvel at performances by the Lincoln Center Jazz Orchestra (whose repertoire will include songs like Mingus’ “Better Get It in Your Soul,” Count Basie’s “Every Day I Have the Blues,” “Lil’ Liza Jane,” and “Old McDonald,”) and the workshop’s exciting, yet easily accessible, approach to jazz. Families can buy a subscription to three Jazz For Young People workshops (which also includes “Who Is Louis Armstrong?” on January 29th and “What Is The Big Band Era?” on March 26th and costs less than the price of a movie ticket!) or tickets to individual events. 1 p.m. and 3 p.m.; pre-concert activities begin at 45 minutes prior to each show. Time Warner Center, Broadway and 60th Street, 5th Floor; jalc.org.

November 20

[All ages]

MUSICAL ADVENTURE

Celebrate the snow-prone season at the city’s largest outdoor holiday festival, the 11th Annual Winter’s Eve at Lincoln Square. The event begins at Dante Park (in front of Lincoln Center) at 5:30 p.m., where families can take in the spectacular Neighborhood Tree Lighting Ceremony. Families can then head to Broadway (from the Time Warner Center at Columbus Circle to 68th Street), where they can take in dozens of performances (from marching bands to puppeteers and dance troupes) kid-friendly activities and food tastings from some of the area’s best restaurants. Best of all, proceeds benefit City Harvest, a food rescue organization dedicated to feeding the city’s hungry. What better way to get into the holiday spirit? 5:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Attendance is free; food tastings range from $1-$4. On Broadway from Time Warner Center at Columbus to 68th Street.; winterseve.org.

[All ages] Gustafer Yellowgold, a friendly, animated yellow alien that hails from the sun (created by songwriter and illustrator Morgan Taylor) beams down to Symphony Space on November 20th for the venue’s popular “Just Kidding” musical series. At the performance, which will celebrate the release of the fourth Gustafer Yellowgold installment, kids can enjoy original songs from a live pop rock concert set to the animated movie illustrating Gustafer’s adventures. The show, which features a full band, begins at 11 a.m.; $25 for adults, $15 for kids. Tickets are available at the door with a surcharge of $2. Symphony Space, 2537 Broadway; symphonyspace.org.

NOVEMBER 20th

November 29

WINTER WONDERLAND

To submit an event listing, please email newyorkfamily@manhattanmedia.com.

[All Ages]

www.newyorkfamily.com

newyorkfamily.com. TODD CHALFANT

The award-winning TADA! Youth Theater, which has produced original musicals performed by kids ages 8-18 for over 25 years, presents its fantastic performance for families, “Sneak Peak: A Musical Revue” from November 19 to 21. The revue will feature musical numbers from Tada’s upcoming spring productions, including “Rabbit Sense,” “Odd Day Rain” and “The Little Moon Theater,” and is sure to have kids excited about Tada’s upcoming spring season. 15 West 28th Street; tadatheater.com.

For more great listings,

see parentsconnect.com, the online city guide for parents. November 2010 | New York Family

THEATER & PERFORMANCE

Elf The Musical Prepare to dive into a winter wonderland as Will Ferrell’s beloved holiday comedy “Elf ” is turned into a musical extravaganza on the Great White Way. Families will love following Buddy (played by Sebastian Arcelus), the elf-raised human, as he leaves the North Pole and the life he knows behind to try to find his parents in New York City. With some of the industry’s most talented names at the helm, including three time Tony-nominated director/choreographer Casey Nicholaw, Tony-winning

Culture Guide for Kids

book writers Thomas Meehan and Bob Martin and the Tonynominated songwriting team of Matthew Sklar and Chad Beguelin, the show also stars Tony winner Beth Leavel in the role of Emily and six-time Emmy Award winner George Wendt as Santa. A tale of love and acceptance, Elf is sure to instill the holiday spirit in audiences of all ages this season. Performances will run from November 14th to January 2nd, Al Hirschfeld Theatre, 302 West 45th Street; Elfmusical.com. —Tiffanie Green

92YTRIBECA

COBBLE HILL CINEMAS

The community center’s BYOK (Bring Your Own Kid) Sunday music series invites families to enjoy some of the coolest kid-friendly music around. On November 14th, families can check out a performance from “Moona Luna,” a new project from the Latin-Alternative group Pistolera that features family-friendly music in English and Spanish. 200 Hudson Street, 212-601-1000, 92ytribeca.com.

Every other Monday, Cobble Hill Cinemas hosts the children’s film series “Big Movies for Little Kids.” This month, the theater goes old school with some classic cartoons, screening the 1941 film “Hoppity Goes To Town,” on November 15th and Bugs Bunny cartoons (all from between 1940 and 1960) on November 29th. 265 Court Street, Brooklyn, NY 11231, 718-596-9113, cobblehilltheatre.com.

BMCC TRIBECA PERFORMING ARTS CENTER

LITERALLY ALIVE CHILDREN’S THEATER

This Borough of Manhattan Community College affiliated theatre strives to promote cultural and educational activities for the greater metropolitan area. On November 20th, the Philadelphia-based Enchantment Theatre Company will bring the story of an inventive young boy to the stage in “Harold and the Purple Crayon;” kids will delight at the life-size puppets, music and magic in this delightful tale. 199 Chambers Street, New York, NY 10007, (212) 220-1460, tribecapac.org.

Literally Alive Children’s Theater welcomes families to the musical production of its annual holiday favorite, “A Christmas Carol,” which will run from November 27th to December 30th. The Player’s Theater, 115 MacDougal Street, 212-866-5170, literallyalive.com.

CARNEGIE HALL On November 14th, Carnegie Hall welcomes families to its holiday favorite, “Too Hot to Handel: The Gospel Messiah” concert, a jazzy version of Handel’s Messiah that will feature the talents of hundreds of NYC high school students. Carnegie Hall, 154 West 57th Street, 212247-7800, carnegiehall.org.

New York Family | November 2010

LINCOLN CENTER This fall, Lincoln Center hosts the second annual “Meet The Artist Saturdays” series, where kids can get up close and personal with professional musicians and become acquainted with new musical genres. On November 6th, families can attend “In Love With Opera,” a workshop that introduces kids to opera through arias, personal stories of the stage and in-person vocal exercises. The David Rubenstein Atrium, Broadway between 62nd and 63rd streets, 212-875-5456, Lincolncenter.org.

NEW VICTORY THEATER From November 2nd through the 21st, the theater presents, “Egg & Spoon,” an interactive and sensory theater experience for children ages 2-5. Kids will gather in a circle to explore the elements of nature like cherry blossoms bursting into full bloom, chirping birds and fluffy snowflakes. 209 West 42nd Street, 646-2233010, newvictory.org.

NEW WORLD STAGES Kids of all ages will love the lively and feelgood family musical “Freckleface Strawberry!” Based on the children’s book by Julianne Moore and featuring a super-fun cast of lovable characters, the show is a fun way to remind kids that differences are to be celebrated—after all, they’re what make us special! New World Stages, 340 West 50th Street, 212-239-6200, frecklefacethemusical.com.

SKIRBALL CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS As part of its Big Red Chair Family Series, this NYU-based cultural center will host a modern (and critically-acclaimed) performance of the classic Greek myth, Jason and the Argonauts, performed by Visible Fictions, one of the U.K.’s leading theatre companies, on November 6th. 566 LaGuardia Place, 212-352-3101, skirballcenter.nyu.edu

www.newyorkfamily.com

Tonight belongs to...

Broadwayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most haunting love story.

Telecharge.com or (212) 239-6200 MAJESTIC THEATRE, 247 West 44TH Street

www.ThePhantomOfTheOpera.com

VITAL THEATRE COMPANY Throughout November, the Vital Theatre Company will show a new production of “Angelina Ballerina The Musical.” Angelina and the gang will hip-hop, modern dance, Irish jig and of course, ballet across the stage and have audience members dancing in their seats. Recommended for children ages 3 to 12. 2162 Broadway at 76th Street, 4th Floor, 212-787-8302, vitaltheatre.org.

SHOWSTOPPERS FOR KIDS FOR ALL AGES

GAZILLION BUBBLE SHOW This high-impact show features light effects, lasers and, of course, millions of bubbles, large and small, to create a dazzling production. For tickets, call 212-239-6200. New World Stages Theatre, 340 West 50th Street, gazillionbubbleshow.com.

JOHN TARTAGLIA’S IMAGINOCEAN A live black light puppet show chronicles the undersea adventures of aquatic friends Tank, Bubbles and Dorsel. For tickets, call 212-239-6200 or visit telecharge.com. New World Stages Theatre, 340 West 50th Street.

THE LION KING Disney’s blockbuster movie on Broadway is a combination of puppetry, actors, and special effects–a truly magical experience. For tickets, call 212-307-4747 or visit ticketmaster.com. Minskoff Theatre, 200 West 45th Street.

MARY POPPINS The Supernanny takes to the stage in this hit musical by Disney. For tickets, call 212-307-4747 or visit ticketmaster.com. New Amsterdam Theatre, 214 West 42nd Street.

FOR AGES 8 AND UP

WICKED The Wicked Witch of the West finally commands the spotlight. For tickets, call 212-307-4100 or visit ticketmaster.com. Gershwin Theatre, 222 West 51st Street.

MAMMA MIA! There’s not much to the simple plot about a woman finding her real father as she prepares to wed, but ABBA’s tunes keep the feet tapping. For tickets, call 212-239-6200 or visit telecharge.com. Winter Garden Theatre, 1634 Broadway.

FOR TWEENS

IN THE HEIGHTS This salsa- and Latin pop-infused musical is a portrait of life in Washington Heights. For tickets, call 212-307-4100 or visit ticketmaster.com. Richard Rodgers Theatre, 226 West 46th Street.

THE 39 STEPS A fast-paced, high-energy murder mystery blending elements of Alfred Hitchcock, a spy novel, and even Monty Python. For tickets, call 212239-6200 or visit telecharge.com. Helen Hayes Theatre, 240 West 44th Street.

BILLY ELLIOT A funny and heart-warming musical about a boy with a dream and a talent for dance. Based on the film, with a musical score written by Elton John. For tickets, call 212-239-6200, or visit telecharge.com. Imperial Theatre, 249 West 45th Street.

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA The longest-running show in Broadway history delivers mystery, love and heartbreak. For tickets, call 212-239-6200 or visit telecharge.com. Majestic Theatre, 247 West 44th Street.

WEST SIDE STORY The timeless story of star-crossed lovers, Tony and Maria, caught in the rivalry between teenage gangs in 1950s New York returns to Broadway. For tickets, call 212-307-4100 or visit ticketmaster.com. Palace Theatre, 1564 Broadway.

New York Family | November 2010

www.newyorkfamily.com

Art: Tom Slaughter; Photos: Gadi Dagon, Adi Orni, Scott Strohmeier, Alan Treibitz

The New Victory Theater presents

Nov 12 – 28 Spend your Thanksgiving holiday with The New Victory! Added performances on 11/24 and 11/26 Great for the Whole Family

Recommended for everyone over the age of 4

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Dec 3 – Jan 2 Great for the Whole Family Recommended for everyone over the age of 4

NewVictory.org ®

A NEW 42ND STREET PROJECT ®

646-223-3010

MUSEUMS

New York Hall of Science

Culture Guide for Kids

Little scientists of all ages will love the New York Hall of Science’s new exhibit, Connections: The Nature Of Networks, which explores different ways to connect around the world, from a spider’s web to New York City telephone wires and a network of rivers. Kids can explore diverse, interactive and hands-on exhibits, such as “Internet Arm Wrestling,” where they can virtually arm wrestle with fellow museum goers in Iowa, California, and Mexico, or the “Ropes and Pulleys” exhibit, a 20-foot kinetic sculpture that lets users operate moving wheels and pull ropes to see how one small change can have a major effect. The exhibit is open daily and is free with admission, which is $11 for adults and $8 for children. 47-01 111th St., Queens, NY, 718699-0005, nysci.org —Amy Spiro company, Sparrow Wings Dance Theater. 212 West 83rd Street, 212-721-1234, cmom.org.

The AMNH’s exhaustive collections span human culture, the natural world and the universe. This month, the museum will debut a new exhibit, “Brain: The Inside Story,” where kids can learn how the brain works through interactive puzzles and games and impressive displays. Central Park West and 79th Street, 212-769-5100, amnh.org.

CHILDREN’S MUSEUM OF THE ARTS

BROOKLYN CHILDREN’S MUSEUM The first museum created only for kids offers innovative and educational exhibits in a multitude of subjects. On November 20th, the museum’s Play Lab Workshop Series will present “There is No Place Like Home,” a fun exploration of how different environments change the shelter for living things. 145 Brooklyn Avenue (at St. Marks Avenue), Brooklyn, 718-735-4402, brooklynkids.org.

CHILDREN’S MUSEUM OF MANHATTAN This museum offers art-based educational exhibits and programs in a variety of subjects, as well as extensive offsite outreach. On November 21st, families can take part in the museum’s Native American Heritage Celebration, which will feature a performance from the inter-tribal dance

New York Family | November 2010

This museum showcases art by children and adult artists, employing an artist-in-residence format in which teaching artists work directly with children and their families. On November 14th, families can head to the museum for the Russian Children’s Day Art Festival, where kids can take in storytelling and traditional dance and music performances. 182 Lafayette Street, 212-274-0986, cmany.org.

EL MUSEO DEL BARRIO One of the city’s leading Latino cultural institutions, the museum offers wide-ranging exhibitions that are complemented by film, literary, visual and performing arts series, cultural celebrations, and educational programs. Every Saturday in November, families can take guided gallery tours led by artistic educators through the museum’s permanent exhibits in either English or Spanish. 1230 Fifth Avenue (at 104th Street), 212-831-7272, elmuseo.org.

THE GUGGENHEIM MUSEUM The museum offers family-oriented tours and drop-in workshops every Sunday, and families can drop by anytime to explore the museum’s

exhibits with a free activity pack. On November 14th, families are invited to the museum’s Fall Family Day, where kids can participate in a scavenger hunt and art projects and watch live performances and storytelling. 1071 Fifth Ave., 212-423-3500, Guggenheim.org.

INTREPID SEA, AIR, AND SPACE MUSEUM Centered on the World War II aircraft carrier Intrepid, the museum features a range of interactive exhibits. On November 11, families can celebrate Veteran’s Day with the Intrepid’s annual ceremony to honor America’s heroes past and present. Pier 86, 12th Avenue and 46th Street, 877-957-SHIP, intrepidmuseum.org.

JEWISH MUSEUM The Jewish Museum features a permanent collection of more than 28,000 objects— paintings, sculpture, photographs, archaeological artifacts, coins, ceremonial objects and more— relating to Jewish heritage and history. On November 14, families can head to the museum for “Houdini Family Day,” which celebrates the new exhibit “Houdini: Art and Magic,” and features art projects, puppet performances, live music and more. 109 Fifth Avenue at 92nd Street, 212-423-3337; thejewishmuseum.org.

www.newyorkfamily.com

AMERICAN MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY

THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART

2010-11 SEASON

The Met’s friendly, interactive programs help children grow an appreciation for the treasures inside this world-renowned museum. On November 13th, families can visit the museum’s Galleries for the Arts of South and Southeast Asia and discover the secrets of Indian stone carving.1000 Fifth Avenue, 212-535-7710, metmuseum.org.

NE W YO R K

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THE MORGAN LIBRARY AND MUSEUM As part of the Morgan Library’s Family Program, families are invited to the museum on November 6th to learn more about American Folk Music and ragtime, listen to live performances and participate in a sing-along. 225 Madison Avenue, 212-685-0008, themorgan.org.

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e up on a ballet

MUSEUM OF MODERN ART The foremost modern art museum in the world, MoMA aims to make its collections accessible to scholars and young children alike. On November 21st, the museum will debut “On Line,” an exhibit that explores the transformation of the medium of drawing through 300 diverse works of art, from painting and sculpture to film and dance. 11 West 53rd Street, 212-708-9400, moma. org.

MUSEUM OF THE CITY OF NEW YORK Explores the history, present and future of the five boroughs. On November 5th, 2010, the exhibit “Glorious Sky: Herbert Katzman’s New York” opens, which will celebrate the city and feature over 80 diverse works. 1220 Fifth Avenue at 103rd Street, 212-534-1672, mcny.org.

NEW YORK TRANSIT MUSEUM Dedicated to the history of urban transportation, this museum caters to children. On November 27 and 28th, kids can interact with a model of one of the city’s greatest subway rides, the D, N, and Q trains crossing the Manhattan Bridge. Corner of Boerum Place and Schermerhorn Street, 718-694-1600, mta.info/museum.

RIPLEY’S BELIEVE IT OR NOT! Kids will be amazed at the eccentricities inside this famous “odditorium,” which features 25 themed galleries displaying everything from a six-legged cow to books made from spider webs. 234 West 42nd Street, 212-398-3133, ripleysnewyork.com.

Photo: Richard Termine

NEW YORK POLICE MUSEUM Dedicated to preserving the history of the New York City Police Department, the New York Police Museum boasts tons of hands-on educational exhibits for kids. Throughout November, kids can explore the Junior Officers Discovery Zone and partake in activities like crime scene observations and operating a real police car. 100 Old Slip between Walter Street and South Street, 212-480-3100, nycpm.org.

For details, visit nytb.org

RUBIN MUSEUM OF ART Home to an extensive collection of art from the Himalayas and surrounding regions, the Rubin offers programs and events for families throughout the year. Throughout November, the museum will host “Light and Darrrrk” Family workshops, inspired by Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights. Kids can make Diwali lamps, kaleidescopes, lanterns and more in this special exploration of light and art. 150 West 17th Street, 212-620-5000, rmanyc.org.

Keith Michael’s

the nutcracker December 11–12, 18–19 Donald Mahler’s

cinderella

QUEENS COUNTY FARM MUSEUM The city’s only working historical farm, this museum has frequent events, workshops and festivals for kids of all ages. On November 6-7 and 13-14, families are invited to enjoy Wildlife Weekend, and enjoy all of the farm’s animal-themed fun, including Birds-of-Prey, Frogs, Bugs, and Animal Shows, plus hayrides, pony rides and animal feeding. 73-50 Little Neck Parkway, Floral Park, NY, 11004, 718-347-3276, queensfarm.org.

WHITNEY MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART The world-renowned Whitney houses a spectacular collection of 20th century American art. On November 18th, the museum will debut a new exhibit from New York-based sculptor Charles LeDray, entitled Charles LeDray: workworkworkworkwork,” which will showcase his impressive work in miniatures. 945 Madison Avenue, 1-800-WHITNEY, whitney.org.

www.newyorkfamily.com

1 hour programs perfect for kids!

All performances at Florence Gould Hall 55 East 59th Street

February 12–13 Choreography by Agnes de Mille, Lotte Goslar & Antony Tudor

NEW!

exquisite little ballets April 9–10 James Sutton’s

sleeping beauty May 14 – May 15

November 2010 | New York Family

POP CULTURE

Culture Guide for Kids

Disney’s Newest Animated Movie (Which Stars Singer And Actress Mandy Moore) Takes On The Classic Story Of Rapunzel—With An Action-Packed And Hair-Raising Twist

Tangled Up In Trouble BY MEREDITH LOPEZ

his holiday season, Walt Disney Pictures will treat families to “Tangled,” a fun-filled, 3D re-imagining of the classic Brothers’ Grimm’s fairy tale, “Rapunzel.” The movie will introduce the character of Princess Rapunzel (voiced by Mandy Moore) a feisty, tower-bound teenager—who also happens to be the owner of 70 feet of unruly, flaxen hair. But when Rapunzel falls for the kingdom’s most wanted (and most charming) bandit, the duo embarks on an actionpacked adventure that is sure to have boys, girls and adults enthralled until

the very end. We chatted with the film’s directors Nathan Greno and Byron Howard about bringing this immortal fairytale to the big screen.

“Tangled” is an modern retelling of “Rapunzel,” and also boasts exciting new 3D, CGI (Computer Generated Imagery). Why was it important to mesh together old and new in this ﬁlm? Nathan Greno: Our goal in creating this film was to really do something unexpected. So there is definitely a look in the film that reflects our roots in the classic Disney [tradition], but because it’s all done in CGI it’s very fresh. The pacing, action, and humor are all very contemporary. We love that the people who have seen [advanced screenings] of the film are saying that the movie is unexpected. There is lot of focus on how funny “Tangled” is, but because this is a Disney movie, can audiences expect to cry a little, too?

Plus, This Month’s Highlights In Books, Music And DVDs BOOKS

Beautiful Opps! Written And Illustrated By Barney Saltzberg This delightful and interactive pop-up book teaches children that every mistake (such as spilled milk, a bent corner or an ink stain) is a chance to use their creativity and make something beautiful. (Available now, Workman.com) MUSIC The Pop-Ups The Pop-Ups—a veteran kid-rock duo based in Brooklyn—present their new album “Outside Voices,” a lively and whimsical musical adventure. The Pop-Ups’ unique sound is influenced by everything from indie-pop to

New York Family | November 2010

MOVIES

Zin! Zin! Zin! A Violin-A Classical And Jazz Journey Featuring jazz by Wycliffe Gordon, classical compositions by Marvin Hamlisch and narration from actress Angela Lansbury, kids can learn from legends in this animated journey through jazz and classical music. City kids will especially love the live-action tour of the Steinway Piano Factory in Queens! (Available now, Littlesymphonies.com) —Amanda Ferris

NG: There’s a lot of sincerity in this movie. We’re not poking fun at ourselves by any means. It’s not a snarky re-imagining of “Rapunzel”—it has a lot of heart. Unlike its predecessors, this movie is not named for Rapunzel herself. Instead, there’s a lot of focus on the hero and action in this movie. BH: We definitely aimed to make “Tangled” for adults and kids, for boys and girls. The movie has a great balance between the main two characters, Rapunzel and the hero Flynn Ryder [voiced by Zachary Levi]. We had to make sure that they were funny, compelling, smart and emotional. We really poured everything we had into making the characters real. What’s the one thing you hope children take away from “Tangled?” NG: The wonderful message in the story is that if you have a dream, you can make it come true. “Tangled” opens in theaters November 24. For more information visit Disney.com/tangled. www.newyorkfamily.com

DISNEY ENTERPRISE, INC

Outside Voices

reggae to classic soul, infusing their interactive jams with lessons, creativity and plenty of fun. (Available now; Thepopups.com)

Byron Howard: Yes, they will cry, we guarantee it. Like Walt [Disney] always said, “For every laugh, there should be a tear.” We count on the emotional parts of the story to make you care about the characters, and there’s definitely a lot of deep emotion in “Tangled.” Comedy gets people into the theater, but once you’re there you want to have the whole experience—you want to laugh, you want to cry, you want to have a great time. The movie is an amazing roller coaster ride that hits every emotion.

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ON SECOND

ought

A Noted Author Wrestles With Whether To Have A Child

Baby Lust

New York Family | November 2010

of subtle undermining can stunt a daughter. Muted, fearful, riddled with self-doubt, she can remain trapped in daughterhood forever, the one place she feels confident she knows the rules. I was not the only daughter in a dyad of this kind—I saw them everywhere. Childless and codependent, the daughter did some macabre human version of dying on the vine. The mother kept the reality of her own mortality at bay by thwarting her daughter’s every attempt to psychologically leave the nest. It seemed that these mothers did not realize that they had to give adulthood to their daughters by stepping down, stepping back, stepping away. To assuage my many concerns, at least once a week I sat conversing about motherhood with women who had done the deed and lived to tell, or who were surveying the same terrain of possibility. I spoke to single moms and partnered moms, and moms who lost their children to disease. I spoke to s stay-at-home moms, working m moms, CEO moms, moms on w welfare. My life was full of these e elucidating encounters, but strangely, none of them seemed to bring me any closer to what I said I wanted. I remained stuck in a holding pattern of longing to give birth to a child and managing the risk of having one by viewing it as one option among many. Like choosing which coast to live on or h t apartment to take, I imagined I what could consider potential outcomes and make my best, informed decision. Because I am a woman of privilege, a product of the women’s movement, and a student of cultural relativism, I

believed that no choice would be inherently better than the other; the choice itself would not matter, it was how I interpreted the choice that would make the difference. And so it went. Los Angeles or New York? High floor or great location? To baby or not to baby? Looking back now, I see it was like trying to steer a boat with a banana. I had no idea what was going on, no clue whatsoever. I didn’t know that I was already in the water, the tide was coming in fast, and I had no option other than be taken out to sea. I didn’t know that the showdown between the ideas of my mother’s generation and my own was inescapable. What I did know is that even though I doubted my ability to mother, partner, work, evolve and serve all in one lifetime, some part of this flesh body I call me was being pulled toward birth: my baby’s and my own. G R e b e c c a Wa l k e r i s t h e a u t h o r o f the memoirs “Black, White and J e w i s h” a n d “ B a b y L o v e ” a n d e d i t o r o f t h e a n t h o l o g i e s “ To B e R e a l ” a n d “ O n e B i g H a p p y Fa m ily” She blogs regularly for The Hu f f i n g t o n Po s t . F o l l o w h e r o n t w i t t e r @ r e b e c c a w a l k e r. www.newyorkfamily.com

PHOTO BY DAVID FENTON/COURTESY OF REBECCA WALKER

Excerpted from “Baby Love: Choosing Motherhood After a Lifetime of Ambivalence” by Rebecca Walker with permission from Riverhead Books. For the last 15 years I have told everyone—friends, family, hairdressers, editors, cabdrivers, doctors and anyone else who would listen—that I wanted a baby. I want to have a baby, I would say with urgency or wistful longing, or both. And I meant what I said, I did, I just had no idea what I was talking about. I want to have a baby was a statement that evoked a trajectory, a general direction for my life. The truth is, I was wracked with ambivalence. I had the usual questions: When, with whom, and how the hell was I going to afford it? But there was something else, too, a question common to women of my generation, women raised to view motherhood with more than a little suspicion. Can I survive having a baby? Will I lose myself—my body, my mind, my options? If I have a baby, we wonder silently to ourselves, will I die? To compound matat ters, I had a tempestuous relationship with my mother, and feared the inevitable kickback sure to follow such a final and dramatic departure from daughterhood. Mothers make us, mapping our emotional terrain synapse by synapse over a lifetime. They know just where to stick the dynamite. With a few small power plays—a skeptical comment, the withholding of approval—a mother can devastate a daughter. Decades

BY REBECCA WALKER

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