New York Family Baby Fall 2014

FALL 2014

HOT WHEELS:

BEST NEW STROLLERS How To Avoid a C-SECTION WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE YOUR

2015 UPPAbaby

VISTA

GIVEAW & REVIEAWY page 8

1st, 2nd, 3rd...

The

WORKING MOM’S Guide to

Breastfeeding BABY SHOWER

GIFTS

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CELEBRATING OUR

5

TH

ANNIVERSARY!

MAY 16-17, 2015 • 10AM-4PM • PIER 92, NYC

THE LARGEST ANNUAL CONSUMER SHOW For New

& Expectant Parents

• SHOP The Top Brands For New and Expectant Parents • SEE New Product Launches Not Yet Available In Stores • TRY the hottest strollers on the Stroller Test Track • RELAX in the Mom’s Lounge • ATTEND a New Dads Boot Camp hosted by NYC Dads Group • SING along with local musicians and have fun with the family!

For more information visit:

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contents

FALL 2014

pg. 34

pg. 56 pg. 54

pg.34

pg. 17 pg. 60

6 | Editor’s Note All In 8 | Events & Offers The 2015 New York Baby Show and an UPPAbaby travel system giveaway 10 | Scoop Stylish nursing wear, a monthly subscription box for expectant moms, a registry resource, and more

44 | Motherhood & Melancholia Local experts debunk the myths surrounding PostPartum Depression, and offer advice to suffering moms and their loved ones 46 | The Feeding Project From practical strategies to asserting your rights, here’s a guide to going back to work while breast feeding—plus, a selective guide to the best breast pumps 50 | True Birth In a new anthology, Labor Day, a host of prominent female writers share their unvarnished stories of childbirth

14 | The Ultimate Directory Your one-stop guide to NYC’s best maternity and baby 52 | Ready Or Not resources The founders of the NYC Dads Group and Twiniversity offer their favorite bits of advice for new 17 | Stroll Call parents Our bi-annual guide to the year’s best strollers 32 | Best In Show Baby gear winners from the 2014 New York Baby Show this past spring 34 | According To Plan Identifying your birth care preferences can instill confidence about having a baby and help you deal with the unexpected 38 | 5 Tips for Avoiding a C-Section One local mom and doula offers up the facts on how to safely circumvent the need for a Caesarean birth 42 | Picture Perfect Local photographer Karilyn Sanders offers seven great tips for photographing babies

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54 | Shower Power Perfectly precious baby shower gifts selected by some of the top voices in the baby and maternity world 56 | What To Expect When You’re Expecting Your First, Second, Third…

Four local moms with differently-sized families report from the front lines on life with a new baby 60 | The Last Word When one local mom-to-be’s pregnancy caused her some unexpected anxiety, it took celebrating with old friends to help put things in perspective Cover Photo by Karilyn Sanders Photography. Baby Milo wears a Rumparooz diaper cover.

New York Family Baby | Fall 2014

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THE NEW VICTORY THEATER presents ®

C O M E EA RL Y S Y B EE FO R O U R B U RA FT S A RT S A N D C S. A C T IV IT IE

Build an early love of the arts and start your theatergoing tradition as a family with these shows for kids ages 4 months to 4 years.

MINIMÓN

BABBLE

PAPER PLANET

Fridays at 10am Saturdays and Sundays at 10am / 1pm / 4pm

Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 10am Saturdays and Sundays at 10am / 12 noon

Thursday and Friday at 1pm Saturdays and Sundays at 10am / 1pm / 4pm

November 8 − 23, 2014

May 30 − June 7, 2015

March 18 − 29, 2015

Ages 1 to 4 years A seemingly plain room becomes a playpen of surprises when a solo dancer discovers silly stories everywhere—on the doors of a wardrobe, upon the covers of a bed and even in opening a drawer.

Families are in for a treat when, after the show, young theatergoers are invited to explore this wondrous, small world.

For everyone 2+

Ages 4 to 18 months Developed in close creative consultation with nursery schools and language specialists, the aquatic wonderland of BABBLE brings you “the bubble,” where soothing seascapes and schools of fish are projected all around while four singers provide a lullaby of vocal harmonies.

Kids and their adults team up to explore a jungle of cardboard trees filled with paper flora and fauna. Folding, scrunching and crawling, families make original art and populate the everchanging environment with their own rustling paper creations.

ALL PERFORMANCES OF MINIMÓN, BABBLE AND PAPER PLANET TAKE PLACE AT 229 W 42ND STREET, 5 DOORS DOWN FROM THE NEW VICTORY THEATER.

®

A NEW 42ND STREET ® PROJECT

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NewVictory.org 646.223.3010

ART: TOM SLAUGHTER, PHOTOS: ALEXIS BUATTI-RAMOS

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FALL 2014 EDITOR AND CO-PUBLISHER Eric Messinger emessinger@ manhattanmedia.com

ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Mary Ann Oklesson maoklesson @ manhattanmedia.com

SENIOR EDITOR Mia Weber mweber@ manhattanmedia.com

SPECIAL PROJECTS DIRECTOR Alex Schweitzer aschweitzer@ manhattanmedia.com

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Lauren Vespoli lvespoli @ manhattanmedia.com

SALES ASSISTANT Erik Bliss ebliss@ manhattanmedia.com

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Jaime Rochelle Herndon ART DIRECTOR Holly Morrison hmorrison @ manhattanmedia.com

CIRCULATION Aaron Pollard apollard @ manhattanmedia.com ACCOUNTS MANAGER Kathy Pollyea kpollyea @ manhattanmedia.com

ADVERTISING DESIGNER Jen Ng jng @ manhattanmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jana Beauchamp, Leah Black, Gavriella Mahpour, Rachel Simons PUBLISHER John Hurley FOR INFORMATION ON THE BABY SHOW 212.268.3086, jhurley@ manhattanmedia.com

New York Family is a division of Manhattan Media, publishers of AVENUE magazine, and The Blackboard Awards.

Manhattan Media CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD Richard Burns EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT Hilary Vartanian GENERAL MANAGER - OPERATIONS Shawn Scott ASSISTANT TO THE CHAIRMAN Clara Quiroga DIRECTOR OF DIGITAL Dennis Rodriguez WEB DEVELOPER Harvey Richards

© 2014 Manhattan Media, LLC | 72 Madison Avenue, 11th Floor New York, NY 10016 | t: 212.268.8600 | f: 212.268.0577 www.manhattanmedia.com

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125 W. 72nd, Ste. 5R New York apomponio@allstate.com

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What will your child Explore+Discover today?

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Don’t miss out.

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To register for a tour or to learn more about Explore+Discover, contact us at info@explorediscover.net or 212.867.3386 explorediscover.net

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editor’s note

ALL IN I’m not sure what prompted it, but at a recent breakfast with Andy Ackerman, the executive director of the Children’s Museum of Manhattan, I had barely sat down and said hello before Andy pulled out his cell phone to show me a picture of himself holding a newborn. It was a classic of him looking proud and mesmerized, and the baby looking squishy and heavenly. Knowing that Andy has a son in his 20s, I assumed this was a photo of Andy and his first grandchild. It turned out to be his cousin’s baby—but that did not detract from the feelings that the baby not only evoked in Andy but also the rest of us at the breakfast table. As someone else observed, the miracle of life gets you every time. I can still remember holding each of my children, now ages 14 and 10, just after their respective births, and feeling like I am all in, now and forever.

I hope that spirit guides me as I work with my colleagues to produce this magazine, along with everything else we do for expectant and new parents.

New York Family Baby, which comes out twice a year, is a spin-off of our regular magazine, New York Family, which comes out monthly. In a way, though, it’s also an extension of the New York Baby Show, the mega-event we produce for expectant and new parents (and their babies and toddlers) on the weekend of May 16-17 at Pier 92 in NYC. The New York Baby Show has grown into the largest of its kind in the country, and my colleagues and I are extremely proud of the joy, satisfaction, knowledge, and support that families find there. But the Baby Show is only one weekend a year, so we try to extend the party with this magazine and our baby blog and free weekly e-newsletter.

To tap into all of this, including news about the upcoming Baby Show in May, I recommend signing up for our baby newsletter at newyorkfamily.com.

Best wishes to you and your family, Eric Messinger, Editor, emessinger@manhattanmedia.com

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events & offers WIN A 2015 UPPABABY TRAVEL SYSTEM

BY ENTERING OUR CHILDCARE SURVEY UPPAbaby’s VISTA stroller is a popular pick on NYC sidewalks right now, and for many good reasons. It was the only stroller named one of the most innovative products of the year by the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association (JPMA). As the JPMA describes the stroller, its intuitive design makes it easy to fold and allows for multiple configurations, making it as maneuverable as a single stroller, and easily adaptable to your growing family. The VISTA stroller can comfortably hold two UPPAbaby MESA infant car seats, two bassinets, or two toddler seats (rear- or forward-facing). To easily transport up to three children, add a PiggyBack Ride-Along board. New York Family is pleased to offer readers the chance to win a 2015 VISTA stroller and a 2015 MESA infant car seat. To enter, take our childcare survey at newyorkfamily.com in the Contests & Giveaways section.

The 5th annual New York Baby Show is coming up on May 16-17, 2015! The largest show in the Northeast for new and expectant parents (along with their infants and toddlers), the New York Baby Show presents hundreds of top products and services for maternity, baby, and toddler, along with an inspiring menu of speakers and demonstrations from highly regarded experts. And, of course, there are activities, games, and music for parents to enjoy with their little ones.

This past year, more than 4,000 NYC and metropolitan-area families attended the event. The best way to learn about early ticket sales and discounts is to sign up for the New York Family Baby newsletter at newyorkfamily.com.

For vendors who are interesting in participating, contact our publisher John Hurley (jhurley@Manhattanmedia.com). newyorkbabyshow.com

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Photos by Andrew Schwartz

THE 2015 NEW YORK BABY SHOW

New York Family Baby | Fall 2014

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scoop

KEEPING PARENTS IN THE KNOW

BEVERAGE 9Months There’s no need to feel left out of festive occasions just because you’re with child!

Enter 9Months, a nonalcoholic sparkling beverage just for pregnant women. These bubbly beverages are made from grapes grown in southern Australia and come in two flavors—Sparkling Red and Sparkling White. The “wines” are 100 percent natural with no added sugar, no artificial coloring or flavoring, and are gluten free.

In addition, a percentage of the proceeds from each bottle (priced at $16.50) goes directly to the March of Dimes to promote healthy babies and provide resources for research on birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality. 9monthslove.com

SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE Preggonista Love the treat of finding a special something in your mailbox? With Preggonista—a Birch Box-like service just for moms-to-be—you can sign up to get a special box full of pregnancy essentials (and indulgent treats) each month for your whole pregnancy. Just join and tell Preggonista your size (S-XL) and due date, and each month you’ll get two wearable items, a Style Guide to rocking them in different ways, premium beauty products just for pregnancy, and more! Plus, you always have the option to return items you don’t care for and to cancel at any time—and the subscription automatically stops after you hit your due date. preggonista.com

PRENATAL WELLNESS Environmental Working Group & Mama Glow Mama Glow (the boutique holistic maternity lifestyle brand founded by Latham Thomas) and the Environmental Working Group (one of the nation’s most effective environmental heath, research, and advocacy organizations) have launched a new resource to help expectant mothers have a healthy pregnancy— Guide to a Non-Toxic Pregnancy: 9 Tips For Your 9 Months! The guide, which is available to download for free on Mama Glow’s site, offers up key tips on eliminating toxins from everything from the food you eat to the cleaning products you use as your nurture your baby-to-be. mamaglow.com

NURSING WEAR

REGISTRY RESOURCE Cricket’s Circle When Manhattan mom Rachel Blumenthal—a former PR maven at YSL turned jewelry designer and entrepreneur—felt overwhelmed by the sea of baby products available to her during her first pregnancy, she created Cricket’s Circle, an online social network designed to help moms recommend products for each other’s baby registries. First, take a lifestyle quiz to determine your style and needs, and to help you tailor your list with products curated by real moms. Then log in with Facebook to see what products your friends are recommending and adding to their own lists. cricketscircle.com

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Loyal Hana This innovative—and super chic—line of tops, dresses, and tunics just for expectant and nursing mamas is so stylish, you’ll definitely want to keep it in your closet long after your breast pump is packed away.

Founder Shelley Sun, an East End-based mom and fashion industry veteran, created Loyal Hana (“hana” is Korean for “one”) to be a fashion-forward, yet still comfortable and durable, answer to flattering “the bump and the boob.”

Crafted with discreet zippers that blend into the seams of the design, Loyal Hana’s nursing wear allows moms to quickly and easily offer breast access to their babies without having to undress or deal with cumbersome flaps in the fabric. loyalhana.com

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minimally invasive obstetrics Elite and caring two-doctor practice Freedom to move during labor Low cesarean section rate High VBAC success Unhurried birth Doulas welcome

Hypnosis Meditation Hydrotherapy Birth plan support Mount Sinai Hospital Easy parking near office

Visit us to find out more.

VOB NORTH 1225 Park Avenue @ 95th St.

Two Locations

www.villageobstetrics.com

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VOB SOUTH 101 West 12th Street

• (212) 741-2229 (BABY )

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scoop

KEEPING PARENTS IN THE KNOW

FEEDING GEAR Nurse Purse Worried that breast pumping can’t be glamorous? The Nurse Purse puts a little bit of personality and fun into this sometimes not-so-thrilling necessity. The Nurse Purse is an all-inclusive, stylish alternative to the black bag that comes with your breast pump, and has room for your pump and the rest of your daily essentials.

The bag includes a removable insert that will hold your breast pump in place, and is made of water-resistant fabric that makes for easy cleaning. Functional and cute, the only thing that takes this product another step up is that it can fit your laptop too. nursepurse.com

FUN FOR BABY Evenflo World Explorer Triple Fun Plus ExerSaucers This new version of the iconic ExerSaucer is an interactive entertainment option for your baby that is both stimulating and fun. The best thing about this product is that it offers three different configurations to suit your baby as he grows. From 0-4 months, use it as a cushioned playmat; from 4-12 months, use it as a bouncing activity center; and from 12-24 months, use it as an exploration table. Watching your little one start to interact with the colorful toys as he strengthens his skills and development will definitely bring a smile to your face. evenflo.com/exersaucer

BEST BIBS Dribble Bibble For those little ones that are prone to drooling or spilling, or who don’t always hold down their dinner as planned, the Dribble Bibble is the perfect solution.

Reversible, great for traveling, eco-friendly, and pocketable for those solid food spills, the Dribble Bibble is a new alternative to changing clothes every few hours. This laundry-reducing miracle worker is made of a fabric that dries quickly, absorbs liquids, and keeps clothing clean and dry. dribblebibble.com

PRENATAL NUTRIENTS Bundle Organics Bundle Organics has developed an easy, portable, and delicious way to help you get the fluids you need, and the vitamins crucial for you and your baby’s health—yummy (and healthy) juices! These juices are rich in folic acid and iron, and they taste great, so you’ll actually want to sip them all day long. Developed by a maternal-fetal medicine specialist and a licensed registered dietitian, these pasteurized, gluten-free, lactose-free, non-GMO juices are packaged in recyclable BPA-free bottles and come in three unique flavors: Kale Apple Lemon Ginger, Orange Carrot Berry Ginger, and Dark Berry and Veggies. bundleorganics.com

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ECOFRIENDLY Eyla’s Looking for baby products that are as conscious towards the earth as you are towards your child? Eyla’s, a Denver-based distributor of eco-friendly products for naturally-minded consumers, offers a great selection of products that promise the best quality and safest standards available. Among some of their standout products, we love the Zen Rocks (BPA-free teething jewelry that’s exclusive to Eyla’s), Grandma El’s (tear-free and gentle bath items for baby), and Twinklebell (a kids’ accessory line that includes cute sunhats and crocheted booties). eylas.com

New York Family Baby | Fall 2014

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BabySpice A Selective Guide To NYC’s Best Prenatal & Parenting Resources For expectant and new parents (with children up to toddler age), New York Family has four very special and helpful resources.

The New York Baby Show: New York Family’s grand annual event will take place on May 16-17, 2015. The expo attracts thousands of new and expectant families from the metropolitan area who come to discover hundreds of leading vendors and services, while also enjoying seminars and lectures by parenting and family experts and sharing all sorts of fun activities with their infants and toddlers.

Our Weekly Baby Newsletter: We also offer expectant and new parents a wonderful and free weekly e-newsletter filled with info on pre- and post-natal resources, shopping tips, news, and musings—not to mention fabulous giveaways. The newsletter is mostly based on our popular New York Family Baby blog at newyorkfamily.com, which is where you can sign up to receive it every week.

New York Family Baby: This magazine is a special bi-annual publication focused solely on the needs and interests of expectant and new parents. The next edition will be available in the spring of 2015.

Finally, the following directory should also help you address many of your needs as new parents.

BABY & BREASTFEEDING GEAR

Albee Baby albeebaby.com ANB Baby anbbaby.com Babesta babesta.com Babies“R”Us babiesrus.com Behr’s Superstore behrsfurniture.com Bellini Baby & Teen bellini.com Boing Boing boingboingmaternity.com 14

Brooklyn Baby World brooklynbabyworld.com buybuyBABY buybuybaby.com Caribou Baby cariboubaby.com giggle giggle.com Goodnight Room NYC goodnightroomnyc.com J&R Jr. jr.com/jr Metro Minis metrominis.com NessaLee Baby nessaleebaby.com New York Baby Shop newyorkbabyshop.com Planet Kids planetkidsny.com Posh Baby poshbabyusa.com Pottery Barn Kids potterybarnkids.com Rosie Pope Baby shop.rosiepope.com Schneider’s schneidersbaby.com Sprout San Francisco sproutsanfrancisco.com Upper Breast Side upperbreastside.com Yummy Mummy yummymummystore.com

BABY PLANNERS & CONCIERGE SERVICES

The Baby Guy babyguygearguide.com The Baby Sleep Whisperer babysleepwhisperer.com King Kidlet kingkidlet.com Sissy & Marley sissyandmarley.com

BABY-PROOFING

All-Star Baby Safety allstarbabysafety.com A Plus Child Proofing apluschildproofing.com Baby Proofers Plus babyproofersplus.com Baby-Safe Inc. babysafeamerica.com

CHILDCARE

Absolute Best Care absolutebestcare.com Au Pair Care aupaircare.com Au Pair In America aupairinamerica.com Barnard Babysitting barnardbabysitting.com Bright Horizons brighthorizons.com Care care.com College & Nanny Tutors collegenannies.com Crisford & Co. crisfordandco.com EurAupair euraupair.com

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Photos by Andrew Schwartz

The Goddard School goddardschool.com Great Aupair greataupair.com The House of Little People thehouseoflittlepeople.org Irish Echo irishecho.com (for their listings) The Learning Experience thelearningexperience.com Lucky Lil’ Darlings luckylildarlings.com Mom To Moms Advisor momtomomsadvisor.com Mommybites mommybites.com Nannies4hire nannies4hire.com Nannies Of New York nanniesofnewyork.com The Nanny League thenannyleague.com Penelope’s People penelopespeople.com Pinch Sitters Agency nypinchsitters.com Preschool of America preschoolofamerica.us Preschool of the Arts nycpreschool.com Sensible Sitters sensiblesitters.com Sittercity sittercity.com Tutor Time tutortime.com Upper Westside Playgroup upperwestsideplaygroup.org Urban Sitter urbansitter.com Wee Care weecarellc.com

DIAPER SERVICES

Diaper Kind diaperkind.com

FERTILITY CLINICS

The Center for Reproductive Medicine and Infertility ivf.org New Hope Fertility newhopefertility.com NYU Fertility Center nyufertilitycenter.org Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York rmany.com

HOSPITALS & BIRTHING CENTERS

The Brooklyn Birthing Center brooklynbirthingcenter.com Lenox Hill Hospital lenoxhillhospital.org Maimonides Medical Center mainmonidesmed.org Mount Sinai Beth Israel Medical Center mountsinaihealth.org Mount Sinai Hospital mountsinai.org Mount Sinai Roosevelt Hospital roosevelthospitalnycorg Mount Sinai St. Luke’s Hospital Center mountsinaihealth.org New York Methodist nym.org NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Center nyp.org NewYork-Presbyterian/Lower Manhattan Hospital nyp.org/lowermanhattan NewYork-Presbyterian/Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital childrensnyp.org/mschony NewYork-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center med.cornell.edu NYU Langone Medical Center med.nyu.edu

INFANT CPR

Baby Be Safe babybesafe.bom Little Hearts littleheartscpr.com

MATERNITY CLOTHES

A Pea In The Pod apeainthepod.com Belly Dance Maternity bellydancematernity.com Bump Brooklyn bumpbrooklyn.com Clementine Consignment clementineconsignment.com Destination Maternity destinationmaternity.com

Encore Maternity encorematernity.com Madison Rose madisonrosematernity.com Motherhood Maternity motherhood.com Rosie Pope Maternity rosiepopematernity.com Veronique Maternity veroniquematernity.com

PRE- AND POST-NATAL EDUCATION, FITNESS, AND SUPPORT

92Y 92y.org Babies “R” Us babiesrus.com AquaMom aquamom.com Baby in the Family babyinthefamily.com Birth Day Presence birthdaypresence.net BklynBirth bklynbirth.com Caribou Baby cariboubaby.com Carriage House Birth carriagehousebirth.com Chic City Mom chiccitymom.com Choices in Childbirth choicesinchildbirth.org City Births citybirths.com Destination Maternity destinationmaternity.com (for their classes) Diastasis Rehab diastasisrehab.com Fern Drillings ferndrillings.com Fit4Mom fit4mom.com Fitnotic fitnotic.com The JCC In Manhattan jccmanhattan.org Karma Kids Yoga karmakidsyoga.com Mama Glow mamaglow.com Manhattan Twins Club manhattantwinsclub.org Metro Minis metrominis.com Mind Over Matter Health & Fitness (MOM) mindovermatternyc.com Mommybites mommybites.com MomPrep rosiepope.com Mom Support momsupport.org Newborn Notions newbornnotions.com Northeast Doulas northeastdoulas.com NYC Dads Group/New Dad Boot Camps nycdadsgroup.com Pregnant New Yorker thepregnantnewyorker.com Prenatal Yoga Center prenatalyogacenter.com Seleni Institute seleni.org Stork and Cradle storkandcradle.com Strollercize strollercize.com Tribeca Parenting tribecaparenting.com Twiniversity twiniversity.com Urban Wellness Acupuncture urbanwellnessnyc.com Yummy Mummy yummymummystore.com

SLEEP CONSULTANTS

Deborah Pedrick familysleep.com Dream Team Baby dreamteambaby.com Mommywise mommywise.com NYC Sleep Doctor nycsleepdoctor.com Sleepy On Hudson sleepyonhudson.com Smooth Parenting smoothparenting.com SLEEP-EEZ KIDZ sleepeezkidz.com SoHo Parenting sohoparenting.com Swellbeing swellbeing.com

SPECIAL SERVICES FOR NEW PARENTS

Cricket’s Circle cricketscircle.com iKidNY ikidny.com Mommy Nearest mommynearest.com pingMD pingmd.com weeSpring weespring.com

Fall 2014 | New York Family Baby 15

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NEW YORK FAMILY BABY PARTNER

WILLIAMSBURG NORTHSIDE SCHOOLS PROVIDE LITTLE ONES

(AND PARENTS) WITH A

HOME AWAY

FROM HOME

By Lauren Vespoli

Williamsburg Northside’s Infant and Toddler Center.

Many parents want more than a school—they want a place like Williamsburg Northside, where their children, from infants to fourth graders, not only learn ageappropriate academics, but can also focus on their passions and their own unique personalities.

Founded in 1999, Williamsburg Northside Schools is comprised of three core programs. The Infant and Toddler Center, which moves to 70 Havemeyer Street this Fall, provides daycare and early childhood education up to age 2. The Preschool, located at 152 North 5th Street, encompasses the 2s and 3s program, and the Pre-Kindergarten program is housed with the Lower School for K-4th grade at 299 North 7th Street, as of mid-September. This new and beautiful location includes large terraces, a science lab, a glorious Atelier (art studio), sun-drenched classrooms, and a middle school-sized gym.

Though the schools are housed in different buildings, the Reggio Emilia philosophy of education unites them with its thoughtful and caring approach to education. Reggio Emilia emphasizes a child’s agency in the learning process—they are encouraged to explore what interests them, developing their passions and collaborative skills through project-based learning.

Additionally, teachers might supply provocations to the children to help stimulate interesting investigations.

“A core value and critical component to the mission of our school is to be respectful of children. We believe that they are strong and capable in their own right,” says Gina Farrar, Head of Schools. Farrar began her career in education as math teacher at a New York independent school, and has a PhD in psychology, and more than 15 years of experience as a school administrator.

“We give a structure, and we also supply provocations for the kids who—like if kids are playing and it’s not quite clear what they’re going to gravitate towards in terms of a project—a teacher might put something out and see if it provokes something interesting,” Farrar says.

Classes are small, in order to maximize individual student attention. Infant and toddler classes are headed by three-four teachers and have 8-10 students. The teaching staff ensure that each infant’s daily schedule is tailored to their individual needs, allowing them to follow their own unique daily eating and sleeping rhythms. The Infant and Toddler program’s workday hours, from 7:30am to 6pm,

provide parents with some flexibility as well.

At the Infant and Toddler Center, the Reggio Emilia philosophy is incorporated by providing the young children room for exploration. For even the youngest learners, each day is shaped by exploring their interests, guided by teachers who observe the children’s play and classroom interactions.

The Infant and Toddler Center’s facilities at 70 Havemeyer also boast a luxury for any New York school—their own on-site outdoor space, where infants can enjoy the sun from their baby bouncers, and toddlers can play. And, like the rest of the other schools’ buildings, the Infant and Toddler Center’s classrooms are carefully arranged and curated, as the Reggio Emilia philosophy believes that the environment is the third teacher.

“That’s a huge part of the Reggio Emilia philosophy,” says Teresa Smith, Northside’s admissions director.

“It’s the romantic Italian [ideal]—children should be surrounded by beautiful things in organized spaces that are inspired.”

As the children grow older, classes become more structured, and the project work’s central focus is Social Studies. Starting in Kindergarten, for example, children might study a unit on the “needs and wants of community” by choosing to study food and visiting an organic farm.

One thing that remains constant, however, from infancy through grade 4, is Northside’s warm community. Teachers from all three schools meet at least once per week, and look for opportunities to engage all of the programs with each other, such as a shared snack or Thanksgiving potlucks.

And, like the students, Northside parents have built their own vibrant support network.

“I started here a year ago, and the first day that school opened, the parents were just as excited to see each other as the children,” Farrar says.

“The inspiration, the philosophy, the quality of the teaching staff, and how we maintain group sizes, are the things that families are coming here for,” Smith says. “And also the environment—the environment is really important. Parents can see their child living here, five days a week in a beautiful classroom that looks like a little home set up just for them.”

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Our Bi-Annual Guide To The Year’s Best Strollers Edited by Mia Weber

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hen it comes to selecting the perfect stroller for your family’s needs, there’s no need to feel overwhelmed by all the choices on the market— simply check out our handy field guide to the best buggies of the year (all of which offer premium safety standards and exhibit a variety of fab features when it comes to mobility, storage, and more) and cross-check with your must-list and your personal baby budget. Happy Strolling!

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1. 4moms Origami & New Bassinet: 4moms’ high-tech Origami stroller power-folds at the touch of a button and features a built-in generator that charges both the stroller’s electronic features and your cell phone as you walk. With daytime running lights, pathway lights for low-light conditions, sensors that detect when a child’s in the seat, and a handlebar LCD that shows the temperature, speed, and distance traveled, the Origami is the Starship Enterprise of strollers. The 4moms origami bassinet allows you to use your origami stroller from birth, and is appropriate for use until your baby starts to push up on their hands and knees (approximately 6 months).

Includes bassinet, sunshade, carry handle, foot muff, and soft mattress. Stroller: $849.99; bassinet: $149.99; 4moms.com 2. Baby Cargo Series 300: The Series 300 is loaded with premium features, including a reversible and washable seat-cover, a smartphone pocket, all-wheel suspension, and an expandable sunshade for maximum 18

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UV protection. A single-buttonrelease, adjustable five-point harness, adjustable carriage for sitting or napping, and an infant positioner for added support add to the design as well. Plus, the Series 300 comes with a rain guard and cup holder. $199.99, babycargo.com

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convert from an infant car seat carrier to a carriage stroller or toddler stroller. Additionally, it has a foam grip handle with sliding height adjustment, a fivepoint safety harness with padded soft covers, and one-touch breaks. $199, babiesrus.com

3. Baby Jogger Summit X3 Double: The Summit X3 Double, which comfortably fits two children, is perfect for jogging and strolling on any terrain and features patented Quick-Fold technology, which allows parents to fold it one-handed. Additionally, the Summit X3 has remote swivel-locks on the front wheel, an all-wheel suspension system, and hand-operated rear drum breaks. In its full recline position, it’s suitable for children from birth to 6 months (for street jogging) or 12 months (for trail running). $649, babyjogger.com

5. Babyhome Emotion: Babyhome’s Emotion stroller is designed for parents who seek an affordable, super-lightweight stroller without having to sacrifice design and functionality. Weighing in at just 13 lbs, this stroller features smooth and durable wheels, shock absorbers, a large basket, and one hand maneuverability. It also has a reclining backrest and a waterproof canopy, and with the use of available car seat adapters, the Emotion becomes functional from birth (without car set, it’s suitable starting at 6 months) to 55 lbs. $299, diapers.com

4. Baby Trend Go-Lite SnapN-Grow: Looking for on-the-go convenience and versatility? The Snap-N-Grow, a 3-in-1 lightweight aluminum stroller with six riding options, can smoothly

6. BABYZEN YOYO: This supercompact stroller is the first in the world that, when folded, is totally compliant with the size recommendation for airplane carry-on baggage. This conve-

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nient feature, coupled with fourwheel suspension, an exclusive soft-drive system, a reclining backrest, and a variety of color options, make the YOYO a must for families on-the-go. Sutiable for babies starting at 6 months. $469, saksfifthavenue.com 7. BOB Revolution Flex: Perfect for parents on the go, the Revolution Flex features a new adjustable handlebar, which creates a perfect fit for any parent’s height with nine position options. Plus, the swiveling front wheel allows for great maneuverability, the twostep folding frame allows for convenient transport and storage (and is super lightweight), the parking break ensures a secure stopped position, and the Low Boy Cargo Basket provides plenty of undercarriage storage.

Single: $479.99; Duallie: $689.99; bobgear.com 8. Britax Affinity: The versatile Britax Affinity stroller combines fashion and function for a look that’s supremely sleek and modern. Parents can select from 18 different fabric and frame com20

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binations to build a premium, custom stroller unique to their family. With Britax’s notable safety and design standards and cool color packs (each of which includes a canopy, shoulder and buckle pads, a basket liner, and a machine-washable padded seat liner) like “cactus green” and “fossil brown,” this is definitely a fashion-forward stroller. Frame, $599.99; color packs, $99.99 each; britaxusa.com/affinity 9. Bugaboo Bee3: The Bee3 features innovative functionalities like a 3D compact fold—making it easy to collapse, carry, and store. Plus it offers a smooth ride, smart design, and a great value. Its unique seat can extend, reverse, and recline, and a new lightweight bassinet makes it more comfortable to hit the town with your baby or toddler. It’s also created with a new fabric that promises to be super-soft and breathable. Finally, there are 64 different color combination options, allowing parents to customize their Bee3 and cruise the city streets in style. With bassinet: $949-999; without bassinet: $719-769; bugaboo.com

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10. Bumbleride Indie 4: For a days crammed full of diverse metropolitan happenings—hitting the park, running errands, and zipping to playdates—the new Indie 4 (which comes with a bassinet included), is a perfect pick. Compact and lightweight, yet designed with rugged pneumatic tires and all-wheel suspension to handle any terrain, the Indie 4 handles both urban and off-road locales with ease. With a space-saving fold and new automatic frame locks, it can also stand on its own for convenient loading and stowing. $599, bumbleride.com 11. Chicco Bravo Stroller & Bravo Trio System: This travel system is the perfect marriage of comfort and convenience. Sold with the Chicco KeyFit30 Infant Car Seat, the Trio System is also sold as a stand-alone Bravo Stroller. The stroller itself, which is suitable from birth up to 50 lbs, features a one-step quick fold with a built-in carry handle, a large canopy that overlaps with the car seat, an adjustable handle, and a removable seat for quick conversion to KeyFitcarrier mode. Stroller:

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15 $229.99; Trio System: $349.99; chiccousa.com 12. Combi F2: The new Combi F2 stroller is ultra-lightweight, weighing in at just 8.6 lbs! The F2 folds compactly with just one hand, and a mesh seat provides breathability, while a reclining backrest allows little ones to rest comfortably. Additionally, the extended canopy protects from the elements while the sleek design puts a twist on the typical umbrella stroller look. The F2’s shock-absorbing frame, fivepoint harness, and wide seating area provide safety and comfort for the child while the convenient storage basket makes things easy for parents. The F2 is suitable for children up to 40 lbs. $199.99, combiusa.com 13. CYBEX Onyx by Jeremy Scott: The Onyx is a true city stroller which meets the demands of urban families. It’s fun to use and excels with intelligent functionality and great comfort. With its creative styling, high-quality fabrics, contrasting 22

colors, and signature brand of edginess from renowned fashion designer Jeremy Scott, this special version of the Onyx is definitely eye-catching (the vivid blue pattern is called “Food Fight”). Plus, the stroller (which is suitable for children from birth up to 55 lbs) features a patented central one-pull harness system, a four-position recline, onetouch cable-linked brakes, and a shoulder carrying strap and integrated carry handle. $650, cybexbyjeremyscott.com 14. Eddie Bauer Tri Trek Travel System: This rugged travel system—which includes a rearfacing infant car seat and a stroller—offers an array of innovative features, including a snack tray, beneath the seat storage basket, front swivel wheels, a foot-activated dualrear parking brake, adjustable handle height, a reclining seat, a comfort grip handle, and a fivepoint harness. The car seat is suitable for babies up to 35 lbs, and the stroller capacity caps at 50 lbs. $239.99, target.com

15. Evenflo FlexLite Pro Travel System: Evenflo’s FlexLite Pro Travel System includes the FlexLite Pro stroller and the Evenflo Embrace 35 Infant Car Seat. The stroller is super lightweight and features a durable and stylish design, one-hand folding, a full-size canopy with peek-a-boo window, cushioned parent, a reclining seat, large storage basket with front access, and swivel front wheels. The car seat includes an extended infant car seat canopy for added privacy (which is great for babies napping on the go). $199, babiesrus.com 16. GB Ellum: For a luxurious twist on the standard compact stroller, check out the Ellum. This stroller provides all the assets of a full-size stroller, including compatibility with Chicco and Graco infant car seats and a smooth-ride suspension, all in a sleek lightweight (15.1 lbs) package. Additionally, the Ellum features a two-step, foot-activated Kick ‘n Lift self-standing fold mechanism—making storage

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easier than ever. The Ellum is suitable from birth to 50 lbs. $219.99, gbchildusa.com 17. Graco Aire3 Click Connect Travel System: A two-for-one deal, Graco’s Aire3 Click Connect Travel System includes a lightweight stroller and the best-selling Graco SnugRide Click Connect 35 Infant Car Seat.

The stroller has a sleek threewheeled design with cup-holders and a multi-position seat for growing children, plus it comes with a reverse-facing car seat when bought as a travel system.

Stroller, $229.99; travel system, $349.99; gracobaby.com 18. i’coo Acrobat: For an infusion of sophistication, the Acrobat stroller features leather wrapped handle and seating surfaces, as well as a very unique copper frame. The Acrobat weighs in at 21 lbs and is compatible with the brand new i’coo 0-35 infant car seat. Plus, the stroller is light, compact, nimble, and luxurious.

Including car set and base: $899; gtbaby.com/icoo 24

19. Inglesina Quad Stroller: Inglesina’s Quad Stroller is ideal for the rough sidewalks of New York City. Equipped with large ball-bearing wheels and shock absorbers, your baby won’t feel a thing while riding over uneven pavement. A one-handed folding mechanism will compact the carrier for perfect storage in even the smallest of apartments.

The quad also comes with a reversible, four-position reclining seat, a footmuff, rain cover, and foldaway hood with sun shade.

A bassinet is an available add-on for newborns. $599, inglesina.us 20. Jané PowerTwin: This twin stroller features a state-of-theart push with advanced rubber anti-puncture tires and weighs in at 29 lbs. The anodized aluminum chassis provides parents with agility in tough spaces while the full-sized padded seats will keep children cozy and comfortable. Both seats come equipped with a smart fabric (and stainresistant) canopy. Plus, to assist with speed control, the PowerTwin has a disc brake system

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located on the front wheel that effectively stops the stroller in its tracks. $599.99, jane-usa.com 21. JJ Cole Collections Broadway Stroller: The JJ Cole Broadway Stroller easily converts from bassinet mode to a toddler seat for fashionable versatility. With full 360-degree spin, adjustable handle height, and multiple positions for your child, the Broadway is fully customizable. Plus, you can easily switch styles thanks to six color swap canopies (sold separately). The Broadway is suitable for children from birth up to 50 lbs. Stroller: $450; color canopies: $29.95 each; jjcolecollections.com 22. Joovy TooQool: This double stroller is crafted from lightweight aluminum, making it a breeze to tote around two kiddos. Additionally, the TooQool features a reversible front seat, a multi-position recline and twoposition rear seat, neoprene seat pads, a deluxe glove leatherette premium handlebar and bumper

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bar, and an adjustable handlebar and footrest. $799.99, joovy.com 23. Kinderwagon Hop: Kinderwagon’s Hop tandem umbrella stroller is lightweight, narrow, and easily collapsible for city parents who need a stroller suitable for their growing families. The front seat is suitable for children from 6 months up to 50 lbs, with a two-position recline and leg rest. The rear seat is suitable for little ones from 3 months and can recline to 130 degrees. Features include onetouch double brakes, a removable canopy with two viewing windows, a rain cover, and a removable cup holder. $299.99, kinderwagon.com 24. Lilly Gold Sit ‘n’ Stroll: Lilly Gold’s Sit ‘n’ Stroll has five different useful configurations, from car seat to fully functional stroller to FAA-certified flight seat, to a perfect dining booster buddy, this versatile carrier makes traveling with your tiny tot a breeze. The Sit ‘n’ Stroll is ideal for newborn babies up to when they weigh 26

40 lbs and can become both a forward-facing and reverse-facing car seat. $329.99, lillygold.com 25. Maclaren Mark II: Using the original design brief of their very first buggy as inspiration, Maclaren has applied modern materials and engineering to create a super-light full-featured buggy. Designed to withstand the conditions of urban life, the Mark II’s hexagonal chassis delivers strength and durability, while weighing in at just 7.3 lbs.

The stroller also offers water-resistant ripstop fabrics, antimicrobial handles, and an extra-large hood with extendable sun visor. $195, shopmaclarenbaby.com 26. Mamas and Papas Armadillo City: The ultracompact and lightweight Armadillo City is designed for parents who want their second stroller to be smaller without losing comfort. There is a surprising amount of wriggle room in the narrow and lightweight chassis, which weighs only 15.4 lbs. The wheels and front and

rear suspension allow for smooth navigating throughout city spaces and the one-handed fold allows the stroller to fold to a super small size. This stroller also features an extra-large canopy with UPF 50+ fabric, a shopping basket, peek-a-boo window, simple foot brake, five-point safety harness, easy carry handle, and an automatic lock. The Armadillo City is suitable from birth up to 50 lbs. $269.99, us.mamasandpapas.com 27. Maxi-Cosi Kaia in Bohemian Blue: The special edition Bohemian Blue Collection is for those who look for a peaceful and happy life (while also looking very fashionable!). Plus, the Kaia is easy to fold and unfold, convertible to a travel system with the seat on or off, has comfy cushions that remove for easy washing, has a lightweight frame, and comes with Mico and Prezi adapters. The Bohemian Blue collection is also available for Maxi-Cosi’s popular Pria 70, and Mico AP car seats. $235, maxi-cosi.com

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28. Mountain Buggy Duet: With the same footprint as a single buggy alongside Mountain Buggy’s world-class engineered maneuverability, the Duet can easily navigate through the same spaces and doorways as a single stroller. Plus, it has a simple one hand fast fold, the adaptability to take two carrycots or two infant car seats, and included reversible liners.

The Duet is suitable for newborn up to 4 years (39.7 lbs per seat) and weighs in at 33 lbs. $599.99, mountainbuggy.com/us 29. Mutsy IGO Urban Nomad: Emphasizing ergonomics and flexibility, the IGO Urban Nomad edition offers a trendy design that’s compact, lightweight, and easy to store. Plus, it’s designed with natural colors and stylish leather finishing (including the handle grips). The IGO bassinet is ultra-light, as is the frame, which weighs in at just 7.5 lbs.

The seat of the IGO has a soft cushion and can be clicked on the frame in two directions. The back and leg support of the seat are also fully adjustable.

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The seat has a reclined carriage position which makes it suitable from birth and the canopy can be extended. This functional stroller can be folded in a very compact position so you can lift it holding the additional handle and store it conveniently. With bassinet: $849; just stroller: $579; mutsy.com 30. MUV Reis: Designed to help savvy parents make their move” (or “muv,” rather) the newly integrated and soon-to-beavailable Reis single stroller and travel system (with bassinet) is sleek, modern, and durable.

The single stroller features an extendable canopy, and comes with a bassinet, so it can easily convert to different configurations. Single stroller with bassinet, $699.99; travel system, $899.99; diapers.com 31. Orbit Baby G3: The brand new Orbit Baby G3 product line offers parents the most customizable premium stroller and car seat system on the market. Orbit Baby is a complete child travel system, from stroller

to car seat and beyond. With an emphasis on advanced safety and engineering, Orbit Baby is continually recognized for its innovation, ergonomic design and environmentally friendly focus. Its unique features, including 360 rotation, true one-handed stroller fold and certified green fabrics, have made this system a top choice for parents.

The mixable G3 product line allows parents to customize their stroller system with car seats, stroller seats, bassinets, rockers, and storage options, and to convert their single stroller to a double. From $660, orbitbaby.com 32. Peg-Perego Book Pop-Up: In addition to being a travel system compatible with the Primo Viaggio 4-35 without the need to buy adapters, the Book Pop-Up has tons of new and innovative features. The bassinet can fold compactly with chassis, the stroller is reversible and can easily be folded in both directions, and the chassis has a turn knob which allows parents to lock and unlock the front wheels

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without having to bend down. $849.99, pegperego.com 33. phil&ted’s DOT: The DOT Inline stroller is ultra-compact for city life at only 23 inches slim and with one of the most compact folds. The DOT has a full-size seat that’s now even more spacious, so kids have plenty of room and infants enjoy a comfortable lie-flat space. The double kit, which lets you adapt from single to double, can now provide face-to-face contact with baby on-the-go in parentfacing mode, just one of the 21 different riding options. $499.99, philandteds.com/us 34. Quinny Buzz Xtra: The Quinny Buzz Xtra will be coming out with a sleek redesign and new features in December. On top of great features like a flip-out visor, air-filled tires, a roomy shopping basket, and an adjustable parent handle, the new model will have a new super-easy fold, a new extra-large adjustable canopy, and new never-flat all-terrain 30

wheels. Additionally, the Buzz Xtra has a reversible seat, multiple position recline options, and is compatible with Quinny Tukk Foldable Carrier and MaxiCosi Infant car seats (adapters included). $595, quinny.com 35. RECARO Performance Denali Stroller: Suitable for children from 5-50 lbs, and weighing in at 22 lbs, the Denali is a sleek and sporty stroller model. It includes a parent cup holder, a 2-in-1 child’s tray and infant car seat adapter, an oversized storage basket, a double push brake, and an easy-to-use one hand folding system. Plus, it’s compatible with the RECARO Performance Coupe infant seat as a travel system with no assembly or extra parts needed. $279.99, recaropromotion.com 36. Schwinn Turismo Swivel Wheel Jogger: This lightweight jogger offers the ultimate in performance and style, thanks to 12- and 16-inch rear pneumatic tires and aluminum rims. Plus,

the stroller features a flip-open tray with dual cup folders for the child, a remote-locking front wheel, a car seat adapter compatible with many leading brands, an adjustable handlebar, and canopy-mounted speakers compatible with most leading mp3 players. $240, instep.net 37. Stokke Trailz: This brand new model is the first all-terrain stroller in Stokke’s innovative stroller collection. The carry cot and seat position are placed high, to encourage eye contact and connection between parent and child while on the go. Plus, the stroller features car seat options so parents are able to use from birth up to 45 lbs. And finally, great maneuverability, an adjustable handle bar, advanced tire suspension, large air-filled rubber tires, and a waterproof shopping basket make the stroller a must for city parents. $1,299, stokke.com

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38. StrollAir CosmoS: The CosmoS features a best-in-class full recline. That means no more bent legs when sleeping, even when in toddler seat and ability to change a diaper on the go. CosmoS comes as a package with bassinette, stroller seat, hood with extension, peek-a-boo window, and lightweight aluminum chassis. Plus, it’s lightweight, weighing in at 20 lbs, and folds very compactly. $499.99, stroll-air.com 39. Summer Infant 3D lite Convenience Stroller: The 3D lite Convenience Stroller is a lightweight, yet durable, stroller with an aluminum frame. The stroller features an adjustable and removable canopy with a flipout sun visor, a wide seat base and recline feature, and large wheels that allow this stroller to glide over most surfaces. These features combine to make for a comfortable ride, while the fivepoint harness system ensures that baby is safe and secure. This new stroller also features rearwheel brakes, locking front swivel

wheels, and an effortless fold. $79.99, summerinfant.com 40. Thule Urban Glide: The Urban Glide offers features that are valued by both adults and children, like adjustable ergonomic handlebars, an adjustable sun canopy, a front wheel that can either swivel or be locked out, rear suspension, a padded seat, and an almost horizontal sleeping position for napping.

The Urban Glide also features one-handed folding for compact storing and transporting. Weighing in at 23 lbs, the this stroller (as a stroller, not running) is suitable for ages 0-6 months and is recommended for running or walking on rougher terrain when the child is older than 6 months and able to hold its heads up by itself. $399.95, thule.com 41. UPPAbaby VISTA Performance Stroller System: Available starting in November of this year, the new VISTA introduces new features and configurations to an already

popular stroller model. Expandable seat selections and configurations comfortably hold two MESA Infant Car Seats, two bassinets, or two toddler seats (the new RumbleSeat reclines and can be used rear or forward facing) and the stroller features an easy one-step fold and redesigned wheels with patentpending AirGo technology to mimic the cushioned ride of an air-filled tire with the benefit of lightweight foam. The VISTA is suitable for children up to 50 lbs. $819.99-859.99, UPPAbaby.com 42. Urbini Avi: This highperformance all-terrain jogger is versatile, convenient, and comfortable—all at a great value.

The stroller offers an adjustable handle, a cup holder, reflective accents for visibility, an adjustable canopy, one-handed folding, a single-touch brake, and all-terrain suspension. It’s suitable for children up to 65 lbs, and accepts the Petal Infant Car Seat with no needed adapters. $199.99, walmart.com

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IN SHOW

The 5 Winning Products From The Spring 2014 New York Baby Show Offer Innovation, Function, Design Value

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1 In addition to our print publications and online offerings, New York Family is also proud to annually produce the New York Baby Show. The Show this past May introduced new and expectant parents to a variety of amazing products and services in the baby and maternity realms—the top tier of which were chosen with distinction by a selective panel as Best In Show. These five products each serve a unique purpose in the journeys of pregnancy and parenthood—so check them out and see why our judge chose them as the best of the best.

The 2014 Best In Show winners were selected by a distinguished panel of editors, bloggers, and retail experts: Kaity Velez and Jessica Pallay, co-founders of Well Rounded NY; Nicole Feliciano, founder and CEO of MomTrends; Lyss Stern, founder of Divalysscious Moms; Elena Donovan Mauer, deputy editor of The Bump; Michelle Horton, founder of Early Mama; and Ali Wing, founder and CEO of giggle.

1. GB ZUZU STROLLER: This new lightweight folding stroller leaves a small footprint on the sidewalk, folds down quickly and compactly, and is much smaller than the typical umbrella stroller. It also works with Graco and Chicco car seats without any adapters. To top it off, it has a standing fold, which is perfect while waiting for taxis or subways. $199.99, gbchildusa.com

4 2. TWELVELITTLE DIAPER BAGS: These diaper bags are stylish, made from high-quality and baby-safe materials, and feature a builtin pocket to separately store dirty clothes and other messes (which means nothing else gets dirty and it’s easy to wipe clean later on). We particularly love the Courage Backpack and the Carry Love Tote. Prices vary by product, twelvelittle.com 3. COMOTOMO BOTTLES: Designed with a realistic feel, Comotomo’s bottles mirror actual breastfeeding. “These are awesome new baby bottles that closely mimic natural breastfeeding…and I love the colors,” one judge says. Another judge praised Comotomo’s teethers for same reasons— “developmental sensibility, look, and feel.” $13.99, comotomo.com 4. TRIO BIKE MONO: This sleek cargo bike, which is a great way to tote kids around when you’re biking, is actually more compact than many bike trailers. Plus it keeps kids in front where you can watch more closely. It’s safe and so cool. $3,690, triobike.com & velolifestyle.com 5. FIT BUMP 360: This maternity fitness line has gear that’s perfect to get expecting moms to keep the workouts going. Supportive, colorful, and with lots of tech details, the line will grow with you for nine months and beyond— we especially love the long-sleeved shirts.

Prices vary by product, fitbump360.com Fall 2014 | New York Family Baby

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ACCORDING TO

PLAN

Identifying Your Birth Care Preferences Can Instill Confidence About Having A Baby & Help You Deal With The Unexpected

By Jaime Rochelle Herndon Birth plans: A contradiction of sorts? After all, what could be more unpredictable and uncontrollable than childbirth? But before you throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak, it’s worth taking another look at why birth plans can be an important tool for pregnant moms, especially first-timers.

Birth plans originated as a way to help expectant mothers prepare for the physical and emotional work of childbirth, and to document their preferred choices before the actual moment of birth, which can be overwhelming, and, admittedly, not always conducive to clear-headed decision-making. Birth plans were also initially a way to communicate with your labor team about your preferences of care for you and your baby. These functions are still applicable, but today the birth plan tends to be a lot more flexible—in fact, the term “birth plan” is a bit of a misnomer. Birth plans can be better thought of as a set of ideals or general guidelines for what a

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woman wants for her birth experience, with the knowledge that things can change at any time.

Essentially, what a birth plan represents is more like a set of “preferences,” says Jada Shapiro, a local mom, doula, and co-founder of Birth Day Presence—a childbirth education center with locations in SoHo and Park Slope. “[The birth plan] can have two objectives,” Shapiro says. “Writing a birth plan can help the expectant woman clarify what is important to her during the birth. This document is also very useful when a mom-to-be wants to be sure her care provider is on the same page as she is about the birth. It allows a clear conversation to happen between the mother and the care provider about what both parties expect.”

Domino Kirke and Lindsey Bliss, two of the doulas and co-founders at Carriage House Birth, a Brooklyn-based doula collective, agree with Shapiro’s perspective.

“I had more of a wish-list than a birth plan, I had very basic bullet points,” Kirke explains.

“I started off having a home birth and ended up having to have a lot of interventions, a transferring of care [because] very unexpected things that I could have never have foreseen happened. I think a lot of people throw out birth plans because birth is so unpredictable, and if you don’t stick to the birth plan, some women feel a sense of failure.” continued on page 36

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So what if the birth doesn’t go as expected?

Is the plan useless? Not at all—the plan encompasses much more than the actual birth, and when you’re caught off guard, it’s even more important to have an anchor or direction.

“I really like for our clients to have a good sense of what they want, especially once the baby’s out. Post-partum: This, this, this, and this,” Kirke says.

Bliss adds: “Because even if a baby’s born by an emergency C-Section, they can still be allowed—if baby’s healthy—to say: ‘I don’t want my baby to be bathed, I want to exclusively breastfeed.’”

Sometimes, even accomplishing just one facet of the plan is enough. Bliss mentions a client whose birth plan went completely askew when she gave birth prematurely. The one thing she wanted to save was her placenta, so that it could be encapsulated, which Bliss was able to do. This made the woman feel so empowered that at least one part of her birth plan was achieved, despite the fact that the actual birth experience was not her ideal.

Especially in New York City, it can be helpful to have a birth plan to add a layer of advocacy to your birthing experience. “New York City has a high level of routine intervention,” Shapiro says.

“For women who really hope to avoid this, discussing your birth plan ahead of time with your care provider helps to ensure you have picked a care provider who doesn’t jump to medical intervention unnecessarily.” If you find out that you and your provider disagree on a fundamental level, you can switch care providers to someone who is more aligned with your vision.

“I think women who even have a vague sense of what they want, like: ‘I know I don’t want them to clamp the cord until it’s stopped pulsating,’” Kirke explains. “[These women] just have a louder voice. If they say: ‘I really want to do this,’ the odds of them getting it are higher, you know? It’s a manifestation thing.”

Some women may get nervous when sharing their birth plans with their doctors and nurses—the reaction from hospital staff to birth plans can be anywhere from gracious to hostile.

Negative reactions usually stem from previous experiences with rigid, inflexible plans that failed to consider deviations from what was expected, which is why it’s important to pay attention to the language used in the plan and allow for flexibility.

Kirke admits that she has experienced a variety of reactions from hospital staff regarding birth plans. “Having a doula telling you that your OB should read your birth plan, or at least look at it, is really helping new moms,” she says. “Even if an OB looks at a birth plan, whether they end up sticking to it or not…they’re caring for you, just by acknowledging that you

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HOW DO I WRITE A BIRTH PLAN? It’s easy to develop a birth plan that works for you—whether you’re delivering vaginally, having a C-Section or VBAC, or a homebirth. If you need inspiration, or don’t want to start from scratch, there are tips and FAQs on websites like the American Pregnancy Association, and templates of checklist-style birth plans available to download on websites like Earth Mama Angel Baby and United Healthcare. The books Birth Plans for Dummies and The Birth Partner, include tips and checklists on planning your birthing experience. The Children’s Hospital of St. Louis’ Mom Docs has a great list of ten tips for writing a birth plan, including the suggestion to use a preprinted checklist more as a guide, rather than a form to simply fill out and hand to the doctor.

A birth plan can be as simple as writing down a list of things you’d like to avoid if possible, and what you do want during your birth—i.e., walking around, use of a birthing ball, preferences for pain management, immediate skin-to-skin contact with the newborn, uninterrupted breastfeeding, and cord clamping or placenta instructions. Shapiro suggests framing the birth plan in positive language.

Terms like: “I prefer to” or “If possible, I would like,” instead of: “Don’t do” or “I don’t want” foster a more positive and cooperative feeling. She also suggests structuring the birth plan according to the stages of labor, to give you an easy outline.

Try to review the plan with your provider before the birth so your wishes are known ahead of time, and any concerns can be discussed.

have a birth plan…and it’s amazing what acknowledgement can do.”

At the end of the day, your birth plan should account for all the possible scenarios and outline your requests for each one—in fact, as Bliss points out, having a birth plan can be most beneficial when things don’t go according to plan—while still explaining what the ideal outcome would be. A birth plan isn’t a magic document that will ensure a perfect birth experience, but it can be a helpful communication tool and a good way to explore what you want for your labor, delivery, and post-partum care.

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5AVOIDING TIPS FOR

A

C-SECTION

One Local Mom & Doula Offers Up The Facts On How To Safely Circumvent The Need For A Caesarean Birth

By Debra Flashenberg

After a decade of an increasing rate of infants born via Cesarean Section, the numbers are now leveling off, according to the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. This is exciting information for expectant parents who aim to have a vaginal births.

This decrease is partly due to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists’ (ACOG) new guidelines for non-medically necessary C-Sections, as well as care practitioners holding off on “early” (before week 39) inductions. With birthing trends finally shifting to prevent unnecessary Cesarean births, there are ways expectant parents can increase their chances of a vaginal birth.

1. Avoid common interventions, including induction, unless medically necessary: Unless it is medically necessary, it is best to avoid common interventions that may hinder your mobility, give possible false results or set you on the “cascade of intervention.” Specifically with labor induction, Pitocin (a labor-inducing drug) increases stress on the baby and uterus and makes contractions more difficult to manage. Pitocin also necessitates an IV and continuous external fetal monitoring (EFM), restricts your mobility, and raises the risks of epidural and Cesarean Section.

Another common intervention to be aware of is the usage of continuous EFM. The ACOG recommends that for a healthy, low-risk woman, the fetal heart rate should be monitored with a fetoscope or Doppler every 30 minutes while in active labor and every 15 minutes during pushing.

Once hooked up to the EFM, the laboring mother has about six feet of cord to negotiate while trying to stay active and mobile.

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In a Cochrane review, there were no differences between women who received intermittent auscultation and those who received continuous EFM in perinatal mortality, cerebral palsy, Apgar scores, cord blood gasses, admission to the neonatal intensive care unit, or low-oxygen brain damage. Women in the continuous EFM group were 1.7 times more likely to have a Cesarean and were slightly more likely to have a forceps/ vacuum delivery when compared to women in the intermittent auscultation group. Women in the continuous EFM group were also more likely to require pain medication.

Other routine interventions you may want to think about and discuss with your care provider are routine IV fluids and artificial rupture of the membranes.

2. Know the statistics about where and with whom you are birthing: Knowing how often and why a care provider uses medical interventions will give you useful information about what you may expect for your birth. This can be helpful in deciding if your birth philosophies align, and if you believe your care provider can help you have the birth you are aiming for. If you are finding out this information later in your pregnancy and the statistics are not what you expected, then this gives you time to plan for other tactics when working with your care provider.

3. Get a doula: Studies have shown having a doula—a professional labor support assistant— continued on page 40

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present at birth reduces the need for Pitocin, forceps, or vacuum extraction and Cesareans.

Doulas are also well-versed in understanding the labor signals and can help determine when it is appropriate to head to the hospital or birth center. The longer you are able to stay at home, the greater chance you have of avoiding common interventions.

4. Avoid pain medication for as long as possible: One thing I clearly remember from my Lamaze training was to not demonize pain medication and one’s choice to use it. However, my insightful teacher imparted the importance of: “Only use it when you really need it.” Once an epidural is administered, movement becomes very limited.

If a woman receives an epidural very early on in labor, her ability to stay mobile is greatly compromised and that can affect the baby’s positioning. If the baby is in an unfavorable position, being stationary is only going to hinder the baby’s ability to maneuver itself into an optimal birthing position. A baby’s less than optimal positioning can greatly affect the mother’s progress in labor.

Staying mobile and upright can help the uterus function at its most efficient level, creating space by moving the bones of your pelvis and assisting your baby in traveling deeper into your pelvis and wiggling itself into an ideal birthing position.

5. Educate yourself about birth and labor options: I remember very clearly speaking about

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pushing positions with a second-time mother who was going for a VBAC. She had explained that she got to full-dilated rather quickly, but had a hard time with the pushing stage. After three hours, it was declared, the baby was “too big” for her pelvis. Her baby (about 7.5 lbs.) was born via Cesarean. The student passionately told me she did not want to go through another surgical birth and asked if I had any advice for her. I asked her if she was allowed to try multiple pushing positions.

She said there were a few variations of the angle she pushed in, but they were all on her back. She said she didn’t realize she had a choice, other than what she was instructed by the doctor and nurse to do, and was very interested to know what other options she can try this time around.

We went on to schedule a time to go over some of her birth options, including the most beneficial and spacious pushing positions. We also talked at great length about understanding the risks versus the benefits of different birth options so when she was faced with making a decision or advocating for herself, she was educated about the subject.

This particular mom, I am happy to report, did go on to have her second baby through a VBAC. DEBRA FLASHENBERG is the founder of the Prenatal Yoga Center. She is a certified labor support doula, Lamaze Childbirth Educator, and certified prenatal yoga teacher. She is continuously in awe of the beauty and brilliance of birth. Deb is the proud mother to her son, Shay, and daughter, Sage.

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NEW YORK FAMILY BABY PARTNER

WHERE ALL BABIES ARE

STARS:

THE MANDELL SCHOOL’S NEW

“MY GROWN-UP & ME” PROGRAM

By Whitney Harris

A young Baby Stars student is all smiles.

Housed in locations on the Upper West Side (K-8 and preschool), Lincoln Square (preschool), and the West Village (preschool), The Mandell School has been a highly respected place of learning in NYC for 75 years.

Perhaps best known for its combination of progressive and traditional teaching styles, the school recently welcomed a new seven-week “my grown-up and me” class this Ocotber, called Baby Stars.

Program founder Edith Peisach established Baby Stars in Colombia, South America, before launching it in Miami, where she’s been implementing the program for the past 14 years. “My decision to focus on babies stemmed from a breakthrough discovery revealing that 90 percent of the human brain develops during the first three years of life. I wanted to make a positive and meaningful impact on early education,” she says. “I was inspired by my passion to share this unique program with New Yorkers—people who really care and understand the importance of their children’s education.”

As a renowned developmental education expert with 20 years of experience, Peisach has combined her knowledge as an educator with postgraduate research in neurobiological sensory integration and kinesiology to establish an interactive, multi-sensory experience for parent and child. Giving participants the opportunity to bond while playing and learning, Baby Stars offers age-appropriate activities that help develop cognitive skills and physical abilities, including fine and gross motor skills in infants ages 3-18 months.

“There’s nothing out there like it! It’s truly purposeful.

In addition to social and emotional interaction, we’re teaching skills that, once learned, are lifelong abilities,” gushes Sarah Seitz, head teacher at The Mandell School’s program.

“It stimulates all of the children’s senses,” she continues. In fact, Baby Stars is all about making important connections in the brain through physical stimulations. Each class is divided into three components.

For the first section, Wake Up Workshop, little ones develop hand-eye coordination, visual perception, and visual memory. To develop eye tracking skills, for instance, parents will hold a tube close to their baby’s face and slide rings across it from side to side so that the child’s eyes follow. Eventually, the child may start moving her head with her eyes too. These skills aid with learning how to read in the future.

During the second section, Connection Station, children use their five senses to learn about their environment, including colors, shapes, animals, and foods, as teachers and caregivers introduce concepts through explicit stimulation. “Making these connections is how children eventually learn how to talk,” Peisach says.

For the third section, Movement Studio, children are able to experience various textures, like shaving cream or oatmeal, to engage their tactile receptors. These activities work on various physical skills like coordination and balance.

While the emphasis at Baby Stars is certainly on development, there is also a strong focus on fun. It’s as much about cognitive advancement as it is about emotional and social well-being. Playful exercises take place in different parts of the room and feature original education tools and accompanying music to promote the ability to focus, alongside rhythm and language acquisition. What also makes Baby Stars unique is its foundation in research while targeting both brain and body. The curriculum is specifically designed to improve attention and knowledge in addition to motor skills, and the hour-long class allows enough time to integrate disciplines.

Still, babies are given plenty of opportunities to explore and be curious. Given that well-meaning parents often do things for their infants that they’re fully capable of doing themselves, adults will walk away with a better understanding of how to play with their children, and when to step back. They also leave each session with written instructions to continue the work done in Baby Stars at their homes.

“Children who attend our program excel when compared to other children the same age who did not attend a stimulation program,” Peisach explains. “If you discover any delays when they’re very young, you can take care of it soon. That’s the magic of early education.”

Magic indeed.

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Baby Stars classes will be offered at all three PreSchool locations beginning in January. Registration for the winter session will open in November. Parents are welcome to experience the fall program on the Upper West Side through December.

To learn more about The Mandell School, visit mandellschool.org/baby-stars.

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perfect

Left & below: photos by Karilyn Sanders Photography

PICTURE

Local Photographer Karilyn Sanders Offers 7 Great Tips For Photographing Babies

By Karilyn Sanders While babies may be adorable, they can also be uncooperative photo subjects. So we’ve rounded up a few easy tips to keep in mind when it comes to capturing your baby’s most precious moments.

1. Feed them. A full tummy means a happy baby, and that’s what you want to photograph!

2. Find a window, or go outside in the shade. Soft, indirect light is best. On a cloudy day, place your baby on secure pretty floor spot near the window for beautiful natural light. You can photograph baby with the window at your back, or from a side angle. If there is direct sunlight, find a place that is bright yet shaded from the sun.

3. Clear the background. Put your baby on a large blanket, or find a place without a busy background.

Your baby should be the center of attention!

4. Get on their level. Whether your baby is sitting, crawling or walking, get down to their eye level.

This helps to show their perspective of the world.

Bonus Tip: Put them on a white blanket or reflective surface to bounce more light on their face.

5. Let them move. If your baby is mobile, let them crawl/toddle around. Follow them around as they explore to capture their curious mind at work.

Bonus Tip: Show them a toy or snack, and put it right above your camera. You’ll get a few seconds of eye contact, which is just enough time to snap a pic of that cute little face.

6. Keep it short. We all know babies and toddlers have tiny attention spans. Try keeping your photo session under 10 minutes. If baby gets fussy, wait until after their next nap or meal and try again. This will avoid any meltdowns for both baby and you!

7. Print your photos! Photographs were made to be admired in print form. Frame them, put them in an album, and send one to Grandma.

KARILYN SANDERS is a professional photographer specializing in newborns and babies up to 1 year. View more of her work at karilynsanders.com.

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otherhood M & Melancholia Local Experts Debunk Post-Partum Depression Myths, And Offer Advice To Suffering Moms & Their Loved Ones

By Rachel Simons Despite the many stresses and challenges of having a child, motherhood is typically described as one of the greatest joys a woman can experience. Parenthood isn’t easy, but new and expectant mothers are often stereotyped as bubbly, overjoyed people who see their child (or children) as their whole world. But what happens when a new mom isn’t happy? When she isn’t enthusiastic and excited, but constantly anxious and filled with dread? When she feels depressed and annoyed, and thinks that having children might have been the wrong decision?

What if she doesn’t know if she can even love her child?

While these feelings may sound strange to some, they are actually all symptoms of post-partum depression (PPD), a common mental disorder that affects between 15-20 percent of women worldwide. While PPD used to be thought of as a rare mental illness, appearing in new mothers only a couple of weeks after birth, it can actually occur anytime between pregnancy and the first year post-birth of any child, not only a woman’s first. On top of all this, PPD is hard to diagnose in its early stages because it is very similar to the much less severe “baby blues” a mother may feel while pregnant and just after birth. Doctors expect women to have mood changes after they have children because their hormones drop so drastically, and they are extremely sleepdeprived from the demands of the new baby.

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“Up to 85 percent of women experience the baby blues, so we can actually consider this a normal experience following childbirth,” says Dr. Kristin Wesley, MD, at the Women’s Program in Psychiatry at Columbia University. “Rather than feelings of sadness, women with the blues more commonly report feeling up and down, suddenly bursting into tears and not knowing why. They can also be anxious or irritable. Some women report that they feel ‘PMS-like.’”

However, symptoms of the baby blues usually go away within two weeks of delivery, and don’t interfere with a woman’s ability to function. “In contrast to this, post-partum depression lasts beyond two weeks and is characterized by [a] very low mood throughout the day, as well as changes in sleep, appetite and energy,” Wesley adds. “[Identifying PPD] can sometimes be confusing because symptoms of depression can be similar to the mood swings women have during pregnancy,” notes Dr. Alexandra Goletka, Psy.D at Parenthood Psychology Practice on the Upper East Side. “But in addition, women with PPD may have excessive worry [or] anxiety, irritability, feelings of being overwhelmed, sad mood, hopelessness, physical complaints with no physical cause, discomfort around the baby or lack of feeling toward the baby, loss of focus and concentration.”

Additionally, symptoms of PPD tend to be

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all-consuming, impacting nearly every facet of a new mom’s life. “You know it’s post-partum depression when it affects everything. You no longer find joy in anything,” says Dr. Marianna Strongin, Psy.D, Goletka’s partner at Parenthood Psychology.

“And even that [feeling] is very hard to identify because before you had a baby, you had a very different standard of what you used to enjoy. But I always say it’s post-partum depression when the attachment between mother and child is heavily affected. I’ve seen women in their ninth month of post-partum depression who say they feel worse than they did in their third month. There is no distinct picture [of PPD], and it can range in severity.” Besides being hard to diagnose, many women try to hide their depression or refuse to admit anything is wrong, because of the stigmas attached to mental illness in the U.S. Unlike a broken arm or the flu, PPD is an “invisible” ailment which can go undetected (or even be denied) by friends and loved ones. The fear of being labeled as “crazy” is daunting enough, but when feelings of instability are directly tied to your child, a new life whom you are supposed to cherish as a gift, the guilt and anxiety can become even worse.

“Women with PPD often withdraw because they don’t understand why they feel so bad,” Goletka says. “They also report just going through the motions with their new baby, and feel like their child could be someone else’s child. This leads to feelings about being the worst mother/wife. Don’t let looks fool you— women with PPD often look put together complete with makeup and jewelry, even a smile.

The more a mother feels depressed, the more she overcompensates.”

“In support groups, I’ve been really surprised to find that the women who are the best-dressed and the most put together with the babies who seem the best behaved are the ones who tell me they have been struggling with depression,” Strongin adds. ”They try so hard to cover it up.

One of the reasons I’ve started to make appointments at people’s homes…is because post-partum women would come to my office looking like they were not depressed. They spend all these hours trying to hide how they actually feel.”

PPD can affect any new mother, but it is treatable and can be managed, usually through therapy and medication. Wesley notes that medication does diffuse into breast milk, though she adds that there are safe options that are essentially non-detectable in infant blood levels.

Exercise, a healthy diet, and social interaction are also recommended. Likewise, a support group for new mothers—even an unofficial one—can be very helpful.

“I really encourage mommy groups from a very young age, about one week old,” Strongin says. “It’s really going to be another mom who understands that experience, and who can confide in you and talk to you. Moms can feel very isolated at home with the baby, but fortunately it’s very easy in New York to find other moms. You go anywhere and you see a stroller

and you ask how old the baby is and boom, there is [your connection to another mother].”

There is no official known cause for PPD, nor any methods of prevention. Mothers with a history of past mental illness themselves or in their families can be more at risk, but that doesn’t always mean they’ll have PPD. Similarly, women with no personal or familial history of mental illness can be diagnosed. The best strategy is to simply be prepared and have a strong support system in place.

“It is good for expectant couples to educate themselves about both childbirth and parenthood,” Wesley says. “Taking some parenting classes at a local community center can help people have a better idea of what the demands and requirements of a new baby will be in advance, and enables couples to plan. I encourage my patients and their partners to think together realistically about who in their family or friend network can give them concrete support in the early days post-partum. Who can help bring groceries or meals, help do the laundry, stay with the baby for an hour to give the parents a break?

If a couple does not have people nearby who can do this, it might make sense to plan for a post-partum doula or some babysitting help in the early days. The demands are intense, and even a little bit of help from outside can make a big difference for everyone.”

If you know someone who is suffering from PPD, it is important to reach out to them and show your willingness to provide support. If you think they should seek treatment, come up with a plan to talk to them in a non-confrontational, supportive way.

“Explain the research that you have read and how [PPD] impacts families, and help them come to terms with this illness,” Goletka advises. “It is treatable and the sooner it is addressed, the better everyone is in the long run. Pediatricians are often the first people to spot PPD in new mothers, as new mothers are at the pediatrician a lot. If you are nervous about your friend, go with her to the pediatrician and ask general questions about depression to help aid the conversation.”

But perhaps the most important advice for mothers suffering from PPD is to try and take the pressure off of themselves, and remember that there is no such thing as the “perfect parent.”

“It helps for expectant parents to realize in advance that a new baby does not come with instructions, and there is a lot to learn as a new parent,” Wesley says. “Most people feel a bit unskilled and overwhelmed at first, and for people who are used to being quite competent, this can be a challenge. Babies also bring a lot of chaos, and for people who are accustomed to having a lot of control over their schedules, this can be difficult... Perfectionism about parenting can only bring unhappiness. It serves expectant parents better to adopt the attitude that you only need to be a ’good-enough’ parent, and that you will learn about your baby and his or her particular needs as you go, and there will be problems that you can address together.”

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THE

FEEDING PROJECT From Practical Strategies To Asserting Your Rights, Here’s A Guide To Going Back To Work While Breast Feeding

By Jaime Rochelle Herndon The benefits of breastfeeding—for both moms and babies—are well documented, but a significant number of women do not breastfeed for the recommended amount of time. According to the 2014 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Breastfeeding Report Card, 79 percent of babies are initially breastfed, but that number steadily decreases by the time the baby is 3 months old, and drops even further by the age of 6 months.

This is in contrast to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommendation of exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months, and after the introduction of other foods and fluids at that point, continuing breastfeeding for as long as mom and baby are comfortable. Taking public health guidelines into consideration, breastfeeding becomes not a lifestyle or political choice, but an important decision of health and medicine.

When breastfeeding moms go back to work after maternity leave, they face a decision: To pump or not to pump? Nearly two-thirds of women are employed during their pregnancy, and 46

approximately 70 percent take time off from work for maternity leave. While the average maternity leave is about ten weeks, 16 percent of women take only one to four weeks. According to the 2014 Lansinoh Global Breastfeeding Survey, 83 percent of women working full-time outside the home pump or plan to; and 80 percent of women working part-time outside the home do the same.

Among women that stay at home, 74 percent pump or plan to.

“The bottom line remains essentially the same: Going back to work has an adverse effect on breastfeeding—this is universal,” says Julia Beck, the founder of Forty Weeks, a consulting firm focused on the needs of pregnant women and moms. “At present in the US, returning to work as a breastfeeding mother requires conviction, creativity, support, and planning. It absolutely requires the support of an employer.”

In March of 2010, the “Break Time for Nursing Mothers” law went into effect. Under this law, workplaces are required to provide women with adequate time to breastfeed and a clean, private space that is not a bathroom for them to pump in until the baby turns 1. Though the law has been around for several years, the Affordable Care Act (ACA) has made it more concrete and visible. In addition, companies that compensate employees for break times are required to do so for the time spent breastfeeding as well (typically, women pump about three times during an eight hour workday, for about 15 minutes at a time).

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HOW DO I TALK WITH MY EMPLOYER? Returning to work after having a baby and deciding to pump can be nerve-wracking, but there are ways to help make the transition easier.

“The first thing that a woman will need is an understanding by her employer of her plans to return to the workplace and continue to breastfeed,” says Shari Criso, a registered nurse, certified nurse midwife, and International Board Certified lactation consultant.

“By communicating this clearly and early, prior to the first day back at work, and also explaining what it is that she will need from her employer, returning to work and pumping can be a seamless transition.”

Gina Ciagne, a certified lactation counselor from Lansinoh, adds that talking to your company’s human resources team and finding out before going on maternity leave if there’s a designated pumping space—and discussing what it is you will need upon returning to work—can be helpful. Discuss the company policies on breastfeeding at work before taking leave, and go over any concerns or expectations you may have with your employer. If both of you are transparent and open, this makes misunderstandings less likely.

From a business perspective, making it easier for women to pump at work benefits both female employees and the company. “Companies that provide lactation support programs have a great return on investment, saving almost $3 for every $1 spent,” Criso says. “There is lower turn-over in these companies. Retention rates for employees of companies with lactation support programs is 94 percent, while the national average is 59 percent.

Absenteeism is three times lower in breastfeeding moms as compared to formula-feeding moms, due to the lower illness rates in those breastfed babies.

Which translates into lower health care costs, between $331-475 per infant, as well as improved morale, job satisfaction, and productivity.”

DECIDING TO PUMP: THINGS TO KNOW A woman’s milk supply isn’t fully established until about four weeks after her birth, so pumping before then isn’t recommended. The priorities during this period are to establish a connection with the baby, to recover from childbirth and get your energy back. “Breastfeeding is a learned skill— it’s natural, but it doesn’t always come naturally,” Ciagne explains. It can take time to learn how to breastfeed and get used to it, so be gentle with yourself. Feeding on demand during this time is important, because this enables the baby to let your body know how much milk it needs to supply.

To make the transition to pumping easier, it’s recommended that you start pumping once a day after those first four weeks. Because the pump is different from the baby’s latching and stimulates your body in a different way, your body will need to adjust. Having an emergency supply of frozen breast milk is always helpful, so it’s a good idea to start pumping and storing milk about two weeks before returning to work. Milk should be stored in 2-oz bags because, once thawed, it can’t be reused, since bacteria can grow. It’s better to store and use small amounts until you know how much the baby will take; this way, you can stockpile some milk.

Don’t be afraid that you will run out of milk if you

start pumping—your body responds to the baby, so even if you recently pumped, you will have enough milk. You can even pump on one side while the baby nurses on the other, Ciagne says.

Most women adjust to breastfeeding through trial and error, and some women may have difficulty. It doesn’t always come naturally, and it’s important not to beat yourself up if you have trouble. Ciagne urges women to try and pump even if they don’t breastfeed, because this way, your baby can still get breast milk and all its health benefits. Even one feeding with formula can change the way a baby sucks.

The ACA mandates certain preventative health care measures for women to be covered by health insurance plans. This includes lactation support and counseling from a certified provider, as well as the cost of renting breastfeeding equipment.

Find out what your insurance covers and what you can do to maximize your benefits. When choosing a pump, take into consideration its quality, ease of use, and efficiency.

“Look for portable electric breast pumps.

Portability is really important, and how big the base is can affect that. Look for a pump that you can buy an extra pumping set for, which is everything but the base. This way, you can leave a pumping set at work and one at home, so you only need to transport the base and you won’t have to worry about leaving any parts at home,” Ciagne explains. “A double pump cuts down on time, and milk comes down on both sides anyway, even if your baby only nurses on one side during a session. By pumping both sides, it encourages your body to keep making milk. Maybe most importantly, choose a closed system pump. This is really important because your body temperature is 98.6, so your milk is warm when it goes into the pump. If it’s not a closed system, moisture and humidity are created in the tubing, and there’s no barrier between the nipple and tubing, so the moisture and old milk can stay in the tubes. This can create mold, and you don’t want mold spores going back and forth. If the pump doesn’t specify closed system, it’s not a closed system.”

The baby also needs to adjust to being bottle-fed, and there are several things you can do to ease the transition and help make bottle feeding resemble breastfeeding as much as possible. When introducing the bottle, Ciagne suggests that someone else other than the mother feed the baby, because the baby will be used to nursing and try to latch on, and then become confused when they’re not getting the breast.

There are also specific bottles and nipples specifically tested and formulated for breastfed babies, to minimize nipple confusion. The way a baby moves its jaw while at the breast is different than the way it moves its jaw and mouth with a bottle, so something as similar to the breast as possible helps the baby get used to bottle feeding.

A natural wave nipple lets the baby elongate it and use the tongue to get milk, making the sucking motion nearly the same as it is at the breast. A soft and compressible nipple is important so the baby can control how much milk is drawn out, like with the breast. With a standard bottle nipple, the milk tends to gush out. continued on page 48

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continued from page 47

PUMPING AT WORK At work, your pumping schedule should mimic your baby’s natural feeding cycle. The amount of milk produced with pumping can be different than with your baby, and that’s okay.

You can add an extra pumping session before or after work to get more milk if necessary. If you’re having trouble with getting started, it helps to hand-express for a minute, and then massage the breast while pumping, according to breastmilkcounts.com. Bring your pump collection kit, storage containers, an insulated bag, ice packs, and extra breast pads to work.

Knowing your rights as a breastfeeding woman at work can help ensure that you get the time and space you need to pump and keep up your milk supply. When you’re not at work, get plenty of rest, since this helps your body stay healthy and aids in producing more milk. It is very possible to work outside the home without sacrificing breastfeeding and its health benefits— with communication, planning, and support, it can be an easier than expected transition for everyone involved.

BEST BREAST PUMPS:

A SELECTIVE GUIDE 1. The First Years Quiet Expressions Double Breast Pump: This pump is lightweight and super quiet for discreet pumping. It features a unique handle that allows double pumping with just one hand and soft Flexi-fit breast shields that create a perfect fit with eight suction level settings. It also includes two 4-oz GumDrop bottles, a rechargeable battery, a back-lit digital screen, and a stylish on-the-go tote. $99.99, target.com 2. EnJoye LBI Breast Pump with Deluxe Tote Set: When you don’t have access to outlets, the rechargeable internal battery in this double electric pump can run for up to four hours.

Moms can even save and share hygienically with the Personal Accessory Set. $339.99, hygeiainc.com 3. Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature Double Electric Breast Pump: This pump’s massaging ripples imitate your baby’s natural feeding rhythm, while its flexible silicone cups make for a comfortable experience. The BPA-free system has five level settings. $249.99, tommeetippee.us 4. Evenflo Advanced Double Electric Breast Pump: This pump is high-quality, yet affordable.

It features a PerfectlyPure closed-system design that prevents milk backup and keeps milk as pure as nature intended, and also features AdvancedFit for perfect comfort and AdvancedControl with 32 speed and suction settings. $129.99, evenflofeeding.com 5. Medela Pump in Style Advanced: A dailyuse pump designed for busy moms who pump multiple times a day, this gadget incorporates a two-phase technology system to ease babies through the stimulation and expression phases of breast-feeding. $299, medela.com

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6. Philips Avent Double Electric Comfort Breast Pump: This BPA-free double pump lets you express more milk in less time with a unique design that allows you to sit naturally without leaning forward. The improved massage cushion that stimulates milk flow has a soothing, velvety feel. $204.99, philips.com 7. Dr. Brown’s Manual Breast Pump: The patented compression technology of the Dr. Brown’s Manual Breast Pump is designed to help minimize tugging and pinching. The flexible breastcup gently puffs in and out to emulate baby’s mouth, tongue, and jaw action, designed to create a comfortable pumping experience for mom. The pump is BPA-free and dishwasher safe. $34.99, drbrownsbaby.com 8. Lansinoh Signature ProDouble Electric Breast Pump: The innovative technology of this breast pump mimics baby’s natural feeding pattern, and the hygienic design guarantees no milk back-up in the tubing. The pump also features adjustable suction and comfort modes, and an LCD screen with a timer. $149.99, lansinoh.com 9. Ameda Purely Yours CarryAll Breast Pump: The Ameda HygieniKit Milk Collection System, included with this pump, is the world’s only breast pump kit with a proven protective barrier. Proven Airlock Protection keeps tubing dry by preventing air flow between the expressed milk and pump tubing while pumping. $179.99-199, ameda.com 10. NUK Expressive Double Electric Breast Pump: This pump offers 32 suction and speed settings for maximum milk flow, multi-phase settings that mimic natural breastfeeding, a memory feature to recall your favorite settings, soft silicone breast shields with a wide nipple opening, and push button controls. Plus, the digital display indicates your chosen settings clearly and the small number of parts make cleaning and re-assembling super easy. $149.99, nuk-usa.com

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TRUE BIRTH In A New Anthology, A Host Of Prominent Female Writers Share Their Unvarnished Stories Of Childbirth

By Jaime Rochelle Herndon Like babies, birth stories vary—each one is fascinating and unique. Authors Eleanor Henderson and Anna Solomon are the editors of Labor Day: True Birth Stories by Today’s Best Women Writers, published last April by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. The book is an anthology of all kinds of birth journeys and experiences—home birth, Caesarian birth, un-medicated and medicated births, losing a baby, adoption, and infertility. There are many ways to become a mother, and these stories capture these different journeys in all their messy, unpredictable glory.

“There’s this culture where there’s so much choice and information, and there’s pressure and judgment from each other and ourselves—with C-Sections and births that don’t go as expected,” Solomon explains. “So it was important that we had a wide variety [of experiences in the book].”

The idea for the book came about very naturally. “The original impetus was that Anna and I had babies around the same time, and when I was pregnant, I was asking women for their birth stories. After Anna gave birth, she gave me the most poignant story of all of my friends. We both were engaged with the idea of collecting a number of birth stories together. So it really began as a personal project,” Henderson says.

Solomon adds: “There were so many books on how to prepare for childbirth, but no stories of how it actually went down. There were no personal stories about how women had babies and after they had them, sharing the stories as way of reflecting and connecting with other women.”

The book’s website has a place where women can share their own birth stories with a positive and encouraging community. “In their best form, stories can bring people together… We hope that readers will learn to change their responses to hearing stories about each other’s births,” Henderson says. “If we don’t see ourselves reflected [in the stories], we become uncomfortable. Instead, we should be treating other people’s stories with awe.” Labor Day seeks to join women together, to, as Solomon says, 50

“start conversations in kitchens and living rooms, where women share their stories in person about their disappointments and glory.”

The book includes contributions from Edan Lepucki, Heidi Julavits, Dani Shapiro, Cheryl Strayed, and many other prominent female writers. Here, with the permission of the editors, are excerpts of two featured essays.

From “Lucky” by Heidi Julavits, author and co-editor of The Believer magazine My first child was born in a sparsely populated Maine county, where the nearest hospital is considered more hindrance than help in matters of mortality prevention. Many of the doctors who work at this hospital give birth at home. So do many of my friends. Despite compelling evidence against the hospital, however, my husband wanted to go to the hospital. “If something happens to you or the baby, everyone will blame me,” he said.

This might sound paranoid, but it’s actually just true, and a fine-enough reason to choose a bad hospital over a good home. Birth makes people blame other people. Even when nobody dies, there is blame galore. You should have waited to go to the hospital. You should have gone earlier.

You should have said no to this and yes to that.

We said no to home birth and yes to the hospital. When we arrived, we were told that the only available room was a large supply closet.

The outlets in the supply closet were so distantly and inconveniently located that whenever the nurse tried to measure my daughter’s heartbeat with the electric heart monitor, the plug was yanked from the socket. He repeatedly attempted and failed to angle the monitor on my stomach without dislodging the plug. Finally, he gave up.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” the nurse said. Throughout my labor, random people came in to peruse the shelves of the supply closet for gauze or whatever. I was never offered an epidural because this hospital didn’t stock epidurals. For pain relief, they typically administered an analgesic that was

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popular in the eighties. Neither was this offered.

My daughter, when born, cried. This was considered so unusual that the doctor asked if I had taken any weird drugs during labor, like weirder, I guess, than the eighties-era analgesic no one had given me. (To be fair to this doctor, there’s an Oxycontin problem in this part of Maine, and the people who end up giving birth in hospitals tend to be drug addicts uneducated about their baby’s health—otherwise, duh, they would stay at home— which precipitates signs on the hospital walls such as PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE DURING YOUR ULTRASOUND.) The doctor could not tell me how to breast-feed, because she didn’t have any children and had never breast-fed and so (according to her) possessed no information on this topic. She’d spent the entirety of my labor in the hallway, reading a Sue Grafton novel.

When I was finally moved to a proper room, I found a pair of gigantic bloody underpants on the bathroom floor.

My husband said, “I guess we should have stayed home.”

From “Live from the NICU” by Sarah Strickley, writer, fine arts editor, assistant editor for Barrelhouse, and fiction workshop teacher Throughout the pregnancy, I’d wondered what labor would feel like, whether I would manage to endure it, how I would hold up. Would I make a fool of myself or prove myself weak? The presence of the anesthesiologist’s equipment was both a comfort and a terror for this reason.

This is a test, it said. Are you passing or failing?

When I closed my eyes, I envisioned a red, glowing cup. In my mind, I endeavored not to drop the cup as the heat around it grew. I realize in retrospect that this visualization was likely a result of my sense that I wasn’t ready to deliver this baby. As it turns out, the desire to withhold is precisely the opposite of the desire to release required of the birthing process. By four in the afternoon, I was wavering. I didn’t know if I could maintain the suspension. I knew the IV and epidural were stationed somewhere nearby.

When I announced my ambivalence, the midwife emerged, pronounced me “dilated enough” at nine centimeters, and began preparations for the pushing phase. Having passed the first test, I was eager to get cracking with phase two. I expected instinct to kick in, but instead, I was confounded. I didn’t know what pushing meant or how it was supposed to happen. When I screamed out in pain, the midwife told me to get ahold of myself. Stunned, I settled into a quiet seethe of resentment until she and the nurse began to force back my legs. In my most panicked moment, I tried to kick them both away. I tried to flee labor. The problem was that my mind was corralled inside the idea that we could go back to the purgatory of triage and say this wasn’t real labor after all: Can we please go home and try this another time?

When the nurse suggested I get on my knees and face the back of the hospital bed with my head and arms flung over the top, I made no

argument. With my legs stabilized, I realized what pushing meant and resolved to get the baby out—as though I was only conceding to the wishes of the hospital staff. Once my daughter’s head began to emerge, I was repositioned on my back and went through a series of unproductive pushes. This was the ring of fire the oracle of the Internet had warned about, and we were caught inside it. Soon my contractions dissipated, and the nurse and midwife were counting off nonexistent waves. I didn’t bother telling them they were wrong. They were witnessing their own ideas of what was meant to happen. I was in another room altogether.

I suppose we’re always alone in our pain, but we are rarely positioned appropriately to view the isolation accurately. Most of the choices with which we are presented in childbirth are secondary to the one most important in practice: We must be prepared to labor alone, even in the company of others, even with the brilliantly blinding help of loved ones. Perhaps the debates regarding childbirth are so heated because in the end it’s one woman’s experience, not a shared cultural phenomenon. It’s you and your pain; it’s you and it’s your baby.

I don’t know why the push that delivered her was the one that brought her into the world. It didn’t feel different from the others, but there she was. In less than two days, we were wheeled into the sun together. In less than a week, we were headed back from whence we’d come.

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT LABOR DAY, VISIT LABORDAYBOOK.COM.

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The Founders Of The NYC Dads Group & Twiniversity Offer Their Favorite Bits Of Advice For New Parents Editor’s Note: For years now, I’ve gained a lot of wisdom about being a new parent simply by knowing Matt Schneider and Lance Somerfeld, of the NYC Dads Group, and Natalie Diaz, of Twiniversity and the Manhattan Twins Club. Helping people prepare for and survive their first year as parents is at the core of their missions—and they bring to it a mix of understanding and support that makes you feel like they’re in your corner. So who better to talk to about the first year? – Eric Messinger

PLANNING FOR PARENTHOOD Lance Somerfeld: Most dads want to plan ahead to be an involved parent from the start.

We encourage them to maximize paternity leave, to take some vacation time if they don’t have paternity leave, and basically to dig in early on and get involved.

Eric Messinger: To start planning for being an involved parent from the get-go, ideally before the birth?

LS: I think that most new parents would like having some training in essential parenting skills and questions, like how to fall in love with their child; how to communicate with their spouse; how are you going to restructure your life. With couples, you need both people active and engaged from the beginning.

Natalie Diaz: And truthfully, in couples who have the resources and the desire to have a stay-at-home parent, we have many stay-athome dads. Don’t be short-sighted in your parenting plan.

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EM: Do you advise a one-year plan or a longer plan?

ND: Get through the first year. I think people think this is so cookie-cutter, but it really isn’t, especially in this city. It has to be what is best for you and your family today. Not how your parents do it, or [your] neighbors.

LS: And of course you don’t necessarily have to have one parent at home and one at work. Every family should choose their own destinations, without being pigeonholed because of gender stereotypes. Families that chose what’s best for them as a team usually navigate the first year the best.

SOCIALIZATION & ISOLATION Matt Schneider: I lost myself in my first year, I didn’t feel good. I felt disconnected and needed to get involved in something.

ND: I feel like a lot of parents feel that parenting is supposed to be this miserable.

And it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to just sit home, you can get involved.

LS: Finding your rhythm and people—that’s so important, finding social connections that validate what you’re going through, whether it’s in person or online. Social groups allow you to, in a sense, crowd-source what you’re going through. They can also allow you to turn off the parent switch and tap back into the person you remember.

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PARTNERS IN PARENTING

ASK FOR HELP

EM: Matt, take us into the partnership aspect of all of this. Routines are changing, emotions are changing, sleep is changing, sex is changing, life is changing. How can you be a good partner?

MS: Tune into your partner, both of you are going through a lot. Moms often feel this tremendous pressure to be the best mom possible, and their instinct might be to push dads to the side. Ahead of time, couples need to talk about how you need both people involved from the beginning, because the mom won’t feel comfortable handing over the baby unless she feels like dad knows what he’s doing.

EM: Moms have to step back but dads have to step up, right?

ND: Yes, but it needs to be handled with care.

A mom is a bear in the woods, and if you walk over with a stick and tell it how to do things, it becomes very territorial. This is tough for dads and I feel bad for you guys. I see so many dads who want to get involved, but just don’t know how, or aren’t trained to do so.

LS: But it is so much easier on the mind and body when you know you have someone at home who can pick up the slack and be a true partner. In my mind, that’s the goal.

EM: To me, this is love: Couples who talk through this stuff, who are honest about their frustrations and really hear each other and do for each other. Those are the new parents who are building the foundation of a great parenting partnership—not to mention a great marriage.

LS: I said: “I am going to stay at home. I am going to be the best stay-at-home father ever.

I am going to make all the food, I will go to every class, blah blah blah.” The best gift was hiring a babysitter to come just a couple of afternoons. I remember walking out the door thinking that I had just handed my child over to the Russian mafia. But sure enough I came back and my baby was fine.

ND: It’s the household chores, the regular stuff that you often need help with. In Twiniversity, we put up a chore chart, with anything—really anything—that would be helpful, even if it’s your mother emptying the dishwasher.

MAINTAINING THE MARRIAGE ND: For me, when asked if my priority is my parenting or my marriage, it is my marriage.

And people think I’m nuts for saying that.

I cannot tell you the amount of divorces we see, even in my personal life.

LS: The benefit of having a solid relationship on your parenting is huge.

ND: Yes, but people always lose perspective.

People are like: “We’re always going to have these kids and they’re always going to be crying at 3am.” But you know what? That ends.

At the end of the day, they are going to be here for this much time and then they’re gone, off to college, starting their own adult lives.

It is alarming to me how little people prepare.

It all goes back to that first-year plan and planning together.

“ME” TIME LS: You have to build time for me time and sleep time. That’s the only way everything else will work out.

ND: Agreed, you’re no good to anybody if you are not good to yourself. And that goes for both parents. Do I need that 10 minutes of music when I get home from work, or do I need to go see my sister once a week for my salvation? Whatever. There is nothing to feel guilty about. Time for yourself will make you a better person and parent.

LS: When I reflect back… How many times was I shoveling down a sandwich trying to shush my baby down in the carrier because I didn’t have time for lunch? There wasn’t enough time for getting all the domestic chores done, and time to care for the baby when they’re awake.

I suffered, I fell by the wayside. I didn’t go to my own appointments. I didn’t see my friends at all. Babysitting was a huge help for us, especially me in the role of the primary caregiver.

I needed that babysitter to break away from my role as a parent. My wife and I needed the babysitter to turn off parenting for a little and just go for a walk and enjoy each other as a couple.

EM: Do you have the name of a good sitter?

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE NYC DADS GROUP, VISIT NYCDADSGROUP.COM; TO LEARN MORE ABOUT TWINIVERSITY, VISIT TWINIVERSITY.COM.

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A Selection Of Perfectly Precious Baby Shower Gifts Selected By Some Of The Top Voices In The Baby & Maternity World

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Edited by Mia Weber Whether you’re an expectant mom-to-be registering for your own shower, or you’re a thoughtful friend shopping for an upcoming shower for someone close to you, the following picks— chosen with care by a selection of writers, bloggers, and industry pros in the parenthood realm—are sure to be as useful as they are delightful.

1. Bump Nest Pregnancy Pillow: “This is the perfect pregnancy pillow ($99, bumpnest.com)! Especially when sleeping can get just plain uncomfortable at the end of the third trimester. It’s also the perfect pillow for nursing your newborn.” –Desiree Spinner, Founder, La Petite Peach, lapetitepeach.com 2. Perfect Pull Wipes Dispenser by OXO: “This is a practical but life-changing addition ($19.99, oxo.com) to any nursery. The lid pops open with one simple push and a weighted interior plate allows you to quickly remove one wipe at a time—taking much of the frustration out of diaper changes! I can’t tell you how many times I used to go crazy trying to wrangle wipes out of disposable containers.” –Leah Black, New York Family Baby Blogger, newyorkfamily.com 3. Freshly Picked Oui Oui Moccasins: “These limited edition moccasins ($60, freshlypicked.com) from celeb baby-fave Freshly Picked—North West and Jessica Alba’s kiddos are noted fans—are hand-made from genuine leather and are available in baby sizes 1-10. They make a great shower gift because they’re luxe (but not too flashy) and are sure to pair well with any fashion-forward baby ensemble.” –Mia Weber, Senior Editor, New York Family, newyorkfamily.com

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4. UPPAbaby Vista Stroller: “Right now, one of my favorite products is the UPPAbaby Vista—it’s the only stroller you will ever need ($729.99, uppababy.com). It works with the Mesa car seat, bassinet attachment, or toddler seat—then add on another seat when you have another child. There are so many ways you can use it for one or two babies.

Plus, it’s getting a redesign for 2015, so it looks even more stylish and sleek. It’s also the perfect group gift for a baby shower.” –Elena Mauer, Deputy Editor of TheBump.com 5. Little Giraffe Chenille Blanket: "This blanket ($34, gilt.com/NewYorkFamily) is hands-down the best baby shower gift. It's the softest, coziest blanket out there. It's great for tummy time, as a stroller blanket, and as a bedtime blanket when the baby gets older.

Plus, it can withstand a thousand washes and still feel super soft!" –Melissa Keswin, Senior Director of GILT Baby & Kids, gilt.com 6. Coveted Things “Shit Just Got Real” Blanket/Scarf: “Nothing says it better than a Coveted Things swaddle ($40, covetedthings.com). Although we're partial to this one, there are other more PG-rated versions too.” –Kaity Velez & Jessica Pallay, Founders, Well Rounded NY, wellroundedny.com

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7. UPPAbaby Babyganoosh Footmuff: “The UPPAbaby Babyganoosh Footmuff ($90, uppababy.com) is a DivaMust gift for a baby shower. Not only is this gift most functional for all weather in NYC, it’s also stylish, which all DivaMoms love.” –Lyss Stern, CEO of DivaLysscious Moms, divamoms.com

nais.com) to any mom-to-be. These blankets are super soft for baby and have multiple uses. I have used them to swaddle my baby, as a nursing cover, and as a stroller blanket. The prints are really cute and they only get softer with each wash.” –Maria Colaco, Baby Gear Expert, TTPM, ttpm.com

8. ErgoBaby 360 Carrier: “My absolute favorite item for babies is the ErgoBaby 360 Carrier ($160, ergobaby. com). This is the only carrier you will ever need when you have a baby. They offer an infant insert that you are able to use from birth on.” –Brianne Manz, Founder, Stroller in the City, strollerinthecity.com

11. Culture Baby Espadrilles: “There’s nothing more aww-worthy than a pair of baby booties, but these baby espadrilles from Culture Baby ($29, culturebaby. com) kick up the cute quotient several notches. With delicate straps and craftsmanship that belies a rich Spanish tradition, these crowd-pleasers will look equally as cute on baby as they do on display when outgrown.”

–Elina Furman, Publisher, A-List Mom and A-List Mom Travel, alistmom.com

9. Stars Sleeping Bag from the Project Nursery Shop: “Baby sleeping bags, or sleep sacks, are a sleep-saving must for babies and sleep deprived parents everywhere ($55, projectnursery.com). Knowing baby is warm, safe, and sleeping soundly is pure peace of mind—the very best type of gift in our opinion.” –Melisa Fluhr & Pam Ginocchio, Founders, Project Nursery, projectnursery.com 10. aden+anais Muslin Swaddle Blankets: “I would gift aden+anais’ Muslin Swaddle Blankets ($49.95, adenanda-

FOR MORE BABY GEAR AND SHOPPING TIPS, VISIT NEWYORKFAMILY.COM!

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WHAT TO EXPECT

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Photo by Andrew Scwartz

THIRD...

Four Local Moms With Families Of Different Sizes On Life With A New Baby

By Jaime Rochelle Herndon

Araina Jewell and Cassidy.

Mothering is a journey like no other, and it’s impossible to know exactly what to expect, whether you have one child or four. Each new addition can bring new challenges, changes, and experiences.

We talked to four New York moms about the surprises and obstacles that come with new motherhood at every stage of building a family—be it the arrival of one’s first child or the fourth.

from my parents. Cassidy’s dad is a great father and he does whatever he can to make my life easier, each and every day. Each of my parents live very nearby and I can count on each of them to be there for me at all times. Before I went back to work, my mother would offer to keep the baby while I went out for a manicure or a massage, and my dad came over often just to hold the baby so I could take a shower. And now that I’m back at work, my mom takes care of Cassidy a few days a week and is able to pick her up from day care in a moment’s notice if I’m running late.

What surprises have you encountered now that you’re a mom for the first time?

Funny enough, the thing I’ve been most surprised by is how my baby can put a smile on so many people’s faces. I have been a New Yorker my entire life and I have never seen so many people smile at me while walking down the street. Carrying a baby around puts you in contact with a lot of people who are all expressing good will and positivity… Motherhood has [also] allowed me to become more grateful and to stop sweating the small stuff. My daughter was born six weeks early and was in the NICU for 2.5 weeks so she could build up her stamina for feeding. She was otherwise mostly healthy, but having those early moments of real worries and going home without my daughter each evening for that stretch of time put other, sillier things in perspective for me.

THE FIRST CHILD THE MOM: Araina Jewell, Lower School Director at Trevor Day School HER CHILD: Cassidy, 5.5 months How is life different now, than before you had a child?

Before having the baby, I guessed that my life would be different, that I wouldn’t be able to get up and go as easily as I had when I wasn’t a mom, that I’d be exhausted all the time, that I’d be covered in spit up a lot of the time, etc. Those things are certainly true, but what stands out as the most different now is this overwhelming need to protect and serve another human being.

It seems as if my every waking thought, that isn’t work related, is about my daughter. When did she last eat, sleep, poop? Is she warm enough or cool enough, etc.?

How do you juggle the demands of motherhood?

For me, the secret to juggling motherhood is honestly the support I get from my partner and 56

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What do you wish someone had told you about having a child?

It seems that I got all the advice in the world before the baby was born—do this, don’t do that, use this product, don’t use that product, etc. I wish I knew earlier on to spend time getting to know my baby and what she needs and to trust my instincts. What works for one baby doesn’t work at all for another. What one child can do at 3 months, another baby won’t be able to do until 6 months… But something I wish someone had told me was to watch out for explosive poop! I had quite a surprising experience in a department store restroom while trying to change my daughter’s diaper when she was about 5 weeks old. I’ll leave it at that!

rears its head. My 3.5-year-old immediately characterizes the baby’s behavior as rivalry. I.e.: “She kicked me, she took my toy...she’s trying to do this and that to me.” I find the jealousy a little heartbreaking—here you are, the center of your world, and it changes very quickly overnight. I try to make concerted efforts to give extra attention, however, this can be quite demanding at times with constant conflicting needs.

THE SECOND CHILD

THE THIRD CHILD

THE MOM: Jen Blankstein, lawyer HER CHILDREN: Olive, 3.5, and Sophie, 7 months

THE MOM: Lyss Stern, founder of Divalysscious Moms and co-author of If You Give a Mom a Martini…100 Ways to Take 10 Blissful Minutes For Yourself HER CHILDREN: Jackson, 10, Oliver, 7, and Blake, 5 months

Photo by Heidi Green

What surprises have you encountered with having two children?

While pregnant with my second child, I couldn’t imagine how I would love another child as much as the first. However, you easily fall in love all over again.

How is life different now than when you just had one child?

Looking back, having one kid feels like having no kids. With two parents and one child, life was more manageable. It’s more difficult to stick to one schedule [now], since a new baby’s schedule is different from a toddler’s. Along with this comes less downtime for the parents.

The days are fuller, but faster.

How do you juggle the demands of motherhood?

Do you see having two kids as being demanding?

I know it sounds clichéd, but you really have to roll with the punches and know your limitations.

Some days are smooth sailing, and some days, priorities get rearranged due to one setback or another. I think having two kids is a game-changer, and as parents, the job is never done.

How do you deal with sibling rivalry or, at this age, jealousy?

I was surprised to see how quickly sibling rivalry 58

How is life different now than when you just had two children?

Life is just a little more “chaotic” than when I had two children. Instead of wishing I had four hands to help with everything…I now officially wish I had eight so I could be an octopus!

Do you have any secrets for juggling the demands of motherhood?

There is no real one secret for juggling the demands of motherhood. We all have our secret recipes for success. You have [to have] patience, a great support system in place, and to be able to properly manage the 24 hours in one day. I always say motherhood and being a working mom is similar to juggling 1,000 balls at once and trying not to let one drop. You need to take a 10-minute “MTO” (Mommy Time Out) each and every day!

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How do you deal with sibling rivalry?

Like everything else, I try and let the boys work it out themselves. My boys are like Frick and Frack: One day they are best friends, and the next day they are at each others’ throats. My boys are also very different—one wants to be a professional baseball player, and the other son wants to be on Broadway. It really depends on the day and their mood to see who will instigate the fight for the day. The boys need to learn how to talk out their differences and emotions.

What do you wish someone had told you about having three kids?

More than anything, I wish someone had told me this: The first year of your first time being a mother is like nothing you will ever experience again, no matter how many children you have.

Every day is a miracle. Every day is a journey.

Every day might seem like it lasts 100 hours.

There are lights at the end of every tunnel, but you won’t know it. You will never again feel like you are getting an A-plus. You will be forever changed. At some point, you will realize that “nobody ever told you” because some things you have to experience for yourself. There’s no book or class, or even little old lady in the grocery store, that can tell you what to really expect when you’re expecting.

THE FOURTH CHILD THE MOM: Rosie Pope, pregnancy guru and founder of Rosie Pope Maternity, Rosie Pope Baby, and MomPrep HER CHILDREN: James, 5.5, Wellington, 3, Vivienne, 2, Bridget, 6 months How is life different now than when you just had three children?

The kids are even more of a team than ever before, and they pitch in in ways that I would have never imagined for kids so young. It is so sweet to watch my 5-year-old help his sister get on her shoes without even being prompted. I think the more kids we have, the more creative and independent the kids become about playing together and creating their own fun. It also means I have to work harder to find those one-on-one moments, but when we do, they are so, so special.

Photo by Bentley Waters

What surprises have you encountered with having three children?

I guess my biggest surprise with having three children is how the two older brothers really look after and help with their baby sister. I honestly did not know what to expect, as there is such a big age gap between the three children. My boys absolutely adore their baby sister and they help with everything from feeding her, bathing her, and, of course, singing and reading to her. Sometimes I just look at the three of them together snuggling in my bed and I say to myself that I am truly blessed.

Do you have any secrets for juggling the demands of motherhood?

Whatever the secret, it is important to note it is not easy. I think I have honed a number of skills that make it more manageable: Be in the moment so that in each moment you are present, and the time is meaningful even if you don’t have a lot of it; see life in phases—it won’t always be this crazy, so try and enjoy it knowing it’s not forever; don’t be afraid to reward yourself at the end of the day.

A glass (or two) of Prosecco on a Monday night is just as important as on a Friday night!

How do you deal with sibling rivalry?

I find it very hard when they fight. I constantly remind them that they are a team, and that each is each other’s greatest friend in life and to be good to each other. I do also appreciate how much these scuffles prepare them for life at such a young age, so I really try to talk through the issue and help them to learn how to deal with the issues themselves before coming running to me.

Sometimes though, we have to recognize when all the talking in the world won’t do anything and everyone is too tired. In those moments there is nothing wrong with some Nick Jr. or Disney Jr. and some ice cream for distraction!

What do you wish someone had told you about having four children?

Nothing. Sometimes ignorance is bliss and you need to discover things at your own pace. Words of wisdom, for one child or four, should always be that parenting is not complicated, but it can be difficult—give yourself permission to feel that way and as I always say: “Love with confidence.”

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the last word

MATERNAL MUSING When The Author’s Pregnancy Caused Her Some Unexpected Anxiety, It Took Celebrating With Old Friends To Help Put Things In Perspective

By Lindsey Peers Being pregnant is amazing, and as much as you think you know what it’s like and can prepare for it, when it actually happens there is nothing that can prepare you for how it turns your life upside down. Being in my seventh month, with each passing day I feel more and more departures from life as I know it. Especially when interacting with my amazing friends, who, for the most part, are not yet on the childbearing bandwagon. One recent wedding reminded me of the many changes happening in my life.

Ahh weddings…who doesn’t love them? You see old friends, you eat great food (hopefully), dance, and be merry! I look forward to weddings so much—especially since my husband and I have so many mutual friends from growing up in the same hometown.

However, at seven months pregnant I found myself in a very different place preparing for this wedding. No longer could I casually browse for the most fun and flirty summer dress—what’s appropriate, still makes me feel good, and is comfortable are the key questions now. I usually love getting dressed up, but as proud as I am of my bump, I felt myself getting anxious, and texting girlfriends an hour up until the wedding asking for approval. As my belly has grown—as excited as I am—I have seen a piece of myself have to get “shelved” for nine months. I love fashion and trends, but felt frumpy in everything I put on.

In addition, I found myself wondering what was appropriate wedding behavior for a pregnant person. I’m usually the first one to step on the dance floor and the last one to leave…would I be expected to sit all night and observe from afar? Would my friends want to hang out with me as much since I wouldn’t be engaging in cocktails and crazy dancing?

If I did get up to dance, would people think it was weird? I couldn’t believe how much anxiety I had about what being a preggo wedding guest would be like!

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The truth of the matter was, as soon as I got to the wedding, all my BFFs were amazing. Even the guys asked to touch my belly, and told me how excited they were that I was pregnant with another member of our crew. I was told that I picked a great preggo dress, was dragged into the photo booth and onto the dance floor, and was made very much a part of the celebrations.

Even without white wine (my favorite wedding beverage), I had a blast seeing that, in every phase of life, the people that matter the most accept you and encourage where you are on this crazy journey. I think the baby had a great time too: When I did dance, I felt Baby Peers kicking a long with the music.

I also learned that we can’t help the feelings we have during pregnancy, and even though I felt silly and vain for caring so much about the way I looked or acted, pregnancy is something new and the feelings and changes I’m going through are real and valid. I’ll toast with my non-alcoholic mock-tail to that!

My experience at the wedding made me think that this is just the beginning of my life changing. While I might feel funny in my own skin right now and be sad about missing summer margaritas—I also realize that what I’m experiencing now is not even a fraction of how my life will turn upside down once the baby is born! I always looked up to my mom so much.

She was an amazing mother, but also made sure that she kept her own identity beyond being a mommy, and I think my brother and I are better off for it. I have wanted to become a mom since I was 3 and playing house with my baby doll.

As crazy as I know life will get, and as sleepdeprived as I will be, I plan (“plan” being the operative word) to enjoy every puffy-eyed and groggy moment. Yes, I know I’ll be tired and yes, I know going out with the girls will be harder to fit in. But I’m determined to savor mommy-hood and keep my own “Lindsey” identity. Stay tuned to see how that goes!

LINDSEY PEERS is the owner of The Craft Studio— she very recently welcomed her first child.

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